Canon Restaurant Review: Lavonia Moose Lodge

I don't know if I could technically call it a restaurant review, but since this is about a public place that served meals to its patrons, I'll guess it will count. On Thursday, I was invited to go eat at the Moose Lodge in Lavonia, GA, by my friend Dickson S. and his dad, who I believe is a member of the Loyal Order of the Moose. If not, than I wonder how we were able to get in, because I'm not a member and neither is Dickson, and this is a private club. Anyway, I agreed to go and see what was happening up at the Moose Lodge.

So we get there and take our seats. Most of the people in the lodge were sitting around the bar, which had an oval shape and served a variety of American beers. Dickson and I decided to take a seat at one of the side tables. The place was about half-full, but the way the sound carried in the building, it sounded as if 259 people were in that place. You could hardly hear yourself think in there. The lighting in the building was rather dim, at least at the table where we were sitting. This was also karaoke night at the Moose Lodge, and let me tell you, some people did a fine job of murdering some country music classics in there. That's all I'm really going to say about that.

Anyway, it takes about a couple of minutes before a server notices us. Dickson orders the special of the day, which are salmon patties, served with green beans, mashed potatoes and two biscuits. I'm not a huge salmon fan, so I ordered the chicken strip plate with a side of french fries and honey mustard. You had to order whatever drinks you wanted at the bar, which wasn't a big deal, I had a can of Dr. Pepper while Dickson got a bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade. The menu wasn't too big, as they had the special, three different plates, and about six or seven side dishes, including chicken wings, fried mushrooms and pickles, and cheese sticks. They had Friday night's menu on the back, and it seemed to have a lot more variety, including a steak platter and a shrimp platter. In hindsight, maybe I should have waited a day to eat here.

After about a 19 minute wait, we get our food. I found it somewhat curious that my fries did not come with ketchup. I also found it curious that my meal came with a piece of buttered toast, so I guess in the end it evened out. Perhaps I should of asked my server where it was, but once she delivered our food she became a ghost, as I didn't see her the rest of the time I was in the lodge. Maybe she pulled a Houdini and disappeared, I don't know. The chicken was battered and fried, and while I wouldn't necessarily call them strips, at least the chicken was cooked well enough and it wasn't dry. The fries were just your generic crinkle fries that are normally found in your grocer's freezer, and to be honest, could of used a little more salt. It's impossible to screw up toast, and they didn't, so that's that. Dickson did not seem impressed with his food, saying that his salmon patties were better and noting that they burnt the bottom of one of his biscuits to the point where he just picked off the non-burnt parts with a fork. He seemed to also want desert, but since our server disappeared, eventually we just gave up on that and decided to leave.

Overall, I will say that the price (5 dollars for mine, 6 for Dickson) was right, but it just didn't seem like my kind of place. Perhaps if I had came on a Friday, or been a member, or something else, I might have 'gotten it' more, so to speak. The food was decent, but nothing spectacular. Overall, I'll give my experience at the Moose Lodge of Lavonia, GA a 4.2 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future reviews, than send them to me either by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com or by leaving a comment.

WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE! and other bad sports commercials

Sorry about the lack of activity yesterday, I just started a new job and it was given to me on rather short notice, so I had a lot of paperwork to do and other stuff, not to mention working, so I just didn't have time for The Canon Review yesterday, my bad. Today's post was going to be about top comedians or something about Elvis, but that all changed when, for some reason, I decided to watch this commercial from a few years ago:



Wow, there was a lot of testosterone in that commercial. I know what they were going for, but it was just so over the top that it ended up being goofy. Just a bunch of yelling and screaming and macho, manly-meaty stuff here in this commercial. Of course, my favorite part is the end, where the UnderArmour team (I didn't know they had a team) were standing around in a circle, and their captian, I guess (which, btw, was former NFL Defensive End Eric Ogbogu) was yelling "WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!" My least favorite part, by far, was seeing Ralph Friedgen (the coach in this commercial, and the University of Maryland Head Coach in real life) in a skin-tight shirt. No thanks.

So, in tribute, I have decided to try and find some other bad commercials dealing with sports. Let's see what we can come up with.

The Michael Vick Experience

The idea of this commercial was simple, a ride based off of Michael Vick. It was less than accurate, as they didn't have the customer underthrow his receivers, or bankroll a dog-fighting enterprise, but it will have to do. It's not a bad commercial, but I would say it's inaccurate because Derrick Brooks was one of the defenders, and if this were real life, than Brooks would pick off a Vick pass and go eighty yards for a touchdown, because that guy used to own Vick. But I don't think there were be many people clamoring to get on that ride. Also, I wish somebody would have told Vick to speak up, because you can hardly hear the words out of his mouth.



Pete Rose Aqua Velva Commercial

Pete has a bit of a reputation for doing anything for a paycheck, whether it's by putting his name on a brand of sausages or getting beaten up by Kane at Wrestlemania or by making commercials like this. The commercial starts out with Rose at bat, when a fan yells out at Rose, asking what kind of aftershave a man really wants. I'm going to try that the next time I go to a ballgame, even if it's a little league game or something. From there, it goes from bad to worse, as Rose, the fan, the umpire, and the young popcorn vendor start singing about Aqua Velva. Rose does most of the singing, if you can call it that, and the only good thing about this commercial is that it's short. well, that, and it's camp value, I suppose.




Mike Schmidt Chevy Commercial

This is definately an 80s commercial, just listen to the background music. Anyway, Mike Schmidt is helping demostrate the toughness of the Chevy Work Truck. How, you ask? By hitting the grill of the truck with a baseball bat. Even though Schmidt is one of the most powerful hitters of all-time, he cannot dent the grill of the truck, because it's so damn durable. I somewhat dispute this claim, as it looks as if Schmidt is too close to the truck to get a good swing at it. Schmidt goes on to say that his lawyers wouldn't let him hit a Ford Truck in the same way because, "you know why". Yes I do, it's called vandalism. The commercial ends with the jingle "today's truck is Chevrolet" Well, if you say so.



Tiger Woods Nike Commercial from last week

There's only one word I have to say, and that is ugh. That's not even a word, but it sums up my feelings on the commercial perfectly. In this black-and-white commercial, Tiger is staring at the camera while a voiceover of his late father is played, where is presumably talking to Tiger about his recent transgressions.  At best, this commercial is creepy, and at worst, it is completely exploitative. I really don't know what the heck Nike and Tiger's agents were thinking with this one, so watch for yourself and see if you can figure it out.



Well, that's it for now, although I probably could have done 20 more. Perhaps one day there will be a sequal, but until then, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future posts, than let me know about them in any way possible.