Canon Video Game Review: Red Dead Redemption (PS3)

Over the past month or so, I have found myself rather occupied by the 2010 western game for the PlayStation3 (as well as the XBOX 360), Red Dead Redemption. The sequel to Red Dead Revolver, Red Dead Redemption was developed and published by Rockstar Games, and is widely considered one of the best games to be released in 2010. After playing through the game myself, I find it hard to believe that there was another game released in 2010 that was better than Red Dead Redemption.

image courtesy of wikipedia.org

In Red Dead Redemption, you play as John Marston, a reformed outlaw who has been forced by the government to kill his former running mates in exchange for his family and to clear his name. Marston is sent to the territory of New Austin to kill his former friend Bill Williamson, but instead it is Marston that nearly dies. From there, Marston must rely on help from a wide variety of characters, from a ranch hand's daughter named Bonnie McFarlane, a snake oil salesman, an aging gunslinger now residing in Mexico, and a crazed treasure hunter who is not above digging up corpses in his never-ending search for treasure. The main storyline is quite immense, with 57 missions in all. While there is some variety in the missions, from herding cattle to racing horses, most of the missions usually end with John shooting at a whole bunch of people. It gets kind of repetitive after a while, but at least the missions have more variety than, say, GTA4. Also, there are a few 'stranger' missions, in which Marston encounters a series of random characters and tries to help them out in some way, from giving a sick person medicine to convincing a man not to cheat on his wife. These stranger missions are a nice diversion to the main storyline, and add some variety to the game.

What separates Red Dead Redemption from other western games is all the things that you can do outside of the storyline. Players can wander the great outdoors, from the deserts of Mexico to the forests up north, and hunt down a variety of animals, from wolves to rabbits to bears. Skinning those animals will give your player meat and fur to sell to shops around the area in exchange for money, as will plants that you can pick up along the way. Also, a number of random events can occur during the game, from a person having their horse stolen or having a relative captured and hung by outlaws. If you choose to do so, you can help out these people in need and build up your honor and fame ratings. Although all the random events can be a little annoying at times if you really want to go somewhere, it does break the monotony of the game outside the story. There are also a number of parlor games to play, from poker to blackjack and five finger-fillet, which I wasn't good at at all.

The controls to Red Dead Redemption are rather straightforward and easy to master. Gunfights are quite well done here, and the 'dead-eye' meter allows you to slow down time and pick apart your enemies until the meter runs out. The hand-to-hand combat in this game is a little awkward at best, and the dueling system in this game was a bit confusing at times to me, but overall the game has smooth controls. Graphically, the game is superb, as the old west setting looks spectacular and the character models are nicely rendered. The one problem with the graphics is that you will get glitches from time to time. For example, I was in the middle of the road one time and all of a sudden a chair appears. As for the sound, Red Dead Redemption features one of the best scores I've ever heard from a video game, as the soundtrack is reminiscent of an Enrico Morricone scored western. Also, the sound effects of guns, animals, and trains, etc, as well as the voice acting, are all top notch.

Overall, I have very few bones to pick with this game. Red Dead Redemption is a top-notch game with a variety of activities to do and a great storyline to boot. True, some of the missions can be repetitive, and you may not like a lot of the characters who you're forced to work with (personally, I couldn't stand Nigel, or De Santa, among others) but if you can get past those problems, then you'll invest hours and hours of time into this game and never get bored. This is easily the best western video game of all time, and one of Rockstar's stronger efforts. I'd give Red Dead Redemption a 9.3 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Canon Video Game Review: Max Payne 2 (XBOX)

Over the past few days, I've been playing the 2003 game for the original XBOX, Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne, which believe it or not is the sequel to Max Payne. Max is a New York City Police detective who if he had any luck at all, it would be bad. Because most of Max's loved ones have either killed him or betrayed him, Max has an outlook on life that is very dark and cynical, and that might be an understatement. Max Payne 2 was published by Rockstar, and developed by Remedy Entertainment, which also developed the 2010 game Alan Wake, and Rockstar Vienna.

Image courtesy of allgame.com

In Max Payne 2, Max Payne is back on the force after having his name cleared at the end of Max Payne 1. However, all is not well with Max, as he once again finds himself in a hailstorm of mistrust, corruption, and betrayal. To make matters worse, it seems that everyone Max comes across wants him dead. Max finds a new love interest in Mona Sax, a hired gun who like Max, seems to be unable to trust anybody but herself. To further complicate matters, Mona is the prime suspect in the murder of a Senator, and Max's partner Det. Winterson is hell bent on bringing Mona down for the murder. Also, Max's buddy Vladimir Lem, a Russian mobster, seems to have a role in all the goings on, but whose side is he really on? So Max does what he does best, killing a whole bunch of people before his dark life comes crashing down on him again, and maybe comes to a complete stop if Max is not careful.

The gameplay in Max Payne is rather simple, as you go through each level trying to shoot as many bad guys as possible. To assist with this, the game offers the ability to go into 'bullet time', which allows everything to move around you in slow motion, giving the player a major advantage in massive firefights with the enemy. Max also has the ability to dive in slow motion, giving him an advantage in dodging bullets and firing off many shots in mid dive. Also, it looks really cool as you dive over a crate or something and fire bullets at a rapid pace at your enemies. While the gameplay is solid, I did find that the levels got sort of repetitive, as most of the levels are inside apartment buildings and factories, and it kind of runs together after a while. I will say that the funhouse levels are rather interesting, as the surroundings add a whole other level of suspense to the game. Also, there are a few dream sequences that you must play through that further explores the fragile psyche of Max Payne. The narrative of Max Payne is very compelling and well-done, with a film noir esque style that is enhanced by the dark and gritty surrondings that each level has.

The graphics for Max Payne 2 are good. They're not great, as there are a few issues with the character design of some of the supporting characters, but overall the graphics look sharp and the physics engine of Max Payne 2 is probably the graphical strongpoint, as every character moves smoothly and in a realistic manner. Also, the comic panel scenes that advance the story in between levels look very sharp and are very well-drawn. The sound of Max Payne 2 is quite good, I must say, as the game featured excellent voice acting and the various sound effects of each weapon seem to be quite realistic. The game doesn't rely on a whole lot of music, but what music is there also adds to the dark tone of the narrative presented here. The game isn't very long, as one could get through the entire story in a day if they were so inclined, and still have time to play something else. I'd say I played the entire game through in about 13 hours over the course of the last couple of days, and the lack of a multiplayer mode hurts the replay value of the game. Plus, since the game is more of a linear experience than say, Grand Theft Auto, you don't really have a lot of control over the events of the story, so unless you really like the game, there's not really a lot of reason to play it over again (although there is a different ending if you beat the game on the highest level, so at least that's something).

Overall, Max Payne 2 may be a game that might be a little short, but it packs a hell of a punch in a small package. Max Payne 2 is a blast to play through and although it's not perfect, there's really not a lot for me to gripe about when it comes to this game. I'd recommend this game for any gamer that likes a hard hitting action game, and the compelling storyline will keep you engrossed in the game. Overall, I'd give Max Payne 2 an 8.5 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Canon Video Game Review: Altered Beast (Sega Genesis)

Today's review comes from an idea from reader Ben W. Mr. W was playing Altered Beast as part of the Sonic Ultimate Genesis Collection for the Playstation3, and then suggested that I should do a review about this game. At first, I wasn't very receptive of this idea, but after thinking about it for more than five seconds, I couldn't think of a reason not to do it, so here we are. Altered Beast was the first 16-bit game to be released on home video game consoles, in this case being for the Sega Genesis. Published and Developed by Sega, Altered Beast was originally an arcade game before being ported onto the Genesis in 1989. So, while Altered Beast is a historically significant game, is is a very good game? Here is the cover for Altered Beast, courtesy of allgame.com

In Altered Beast, you are a dead Roman solider brought back to life by Zeus to rescue his daughter Athena from the clutches of the nefarious Neff. Why Zeus decides to revive a dead guy instead of getting somebody else to rescue his daughter, or even do it himself, is a mystery. Anyway, you RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE, as Zeus commands you in a voice that sounds like a 14 year-old talking in a deep voice. Along the way, you must do battle with zombies, two-headed werewolves, and other mysterious creatures. If you hit enough werewolves, you get a power-up, where you turn into a slightly more powerful human. After the third power-up, you go into BEAST mode, becoming a werewolf or a tiger or some other powerful beast depending on what level you're on. After becoming and altered beast, the boss of the level will appear, so you have to do battle with that and defeat him to move on, where some Leonard Nimoy looking dude will strip you of your powerups before advancing. With each level, the process repeats itself. Get three power ups, fight the boss, move on. Simple enough, right?


Your ability to defeat your enemies is severely compromised by the fact that your character can't really do a whole lot. He can punch, kick, and jump, and that's pretty much it. This would be acceptable if your character didn't have the range of Mini-me. Therefore, you have to get really close to your opponent and hope that your punch lands before his does, basically. As for kicking, well our hero seems to favor the leg kick, because that's all he does, besides the non-effective 'lie on your back and kick straight up'. method. If you are to do a ducking attack, I'd recommend just doing a low punch instead, as at least you have range with that attack and it looks like you are punching your opponents in the family jewels. With each power-up, your strikes become more effective, and once you enter beast mode, you really start to kick ass, as now you can throw stuff at your opponents and do crazy flying attacks as well. Unfortunately, you don't have a lot of time, because the boss shows up pretty quickly after you turn into a beast. At each level, an Uncle Fester looking wizard will transform into some hideous creature and he'll start firing crap at you as well. At the first level, the guy turns into a hideous ogre and throws screaming heads at you. Yes, I said screaming heads. Here, take a look from this picture courtesty of mobygames.com:

As far as graphics go, it's not too bad considering it was the first 16-bit game to be released. Of course, there would be other 16-bit games with superior graphics later on, but at the time it was probably rather remarkable. The animations were a bit clunky, and I noticed a few issues with collision detection. Sound-wise, I must say that the score of Altered Beast was actually pretty good, and really added a lot to the atmosphere of the game. The voiceovers were kind of silly, and it got rather tiresome to hear "Welcome to your doom" at the end of each level. There are only five levels, sou if you know what you're doing, you could beat the game in 20 to 30 minutes. The controls are very simple (A punches, B kicks, C jumps), but I found them a bit sluggish at times, as I'd often times have to hit the punch button three or four times in order to get one punch in. At first, I thought it might be the controller, but after playing a couple of other games and having no trouble, I realized it was the game instead.

Overall, there are some people that seem to consider Altered Beast as a timeless classic. Well, even though it might be historically significant, I wouldn't consider it a classic by any means. The levels are repetitve, the controls are sluggish, and it really offers no replay value after the first time you beat it. For its time, Altered Beast was a great achievement, but time has passed this mediocre side-scroller by. Overall, I'd give it a 4.7 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any comments about this or previous posts, or ideas for future reviews or posts, than share them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Canon Video Game Review: Fable 3 (XBOX 360)

First of all, Merry Christmas dammit. I hope that everyone out there had a great Christmas filled with merriment and no fruit cake. Today's review is of the recently released XBOX360 game Fable III. Developed by Lionhead Studies and published by Microsoft Studios, Fable III was released in October 2010 and includes voice acting from Ben Kingsley, Simon Pegg, Stephen Fry, and John Cleese, among others. Fable III takes place some fifty years after the events of Fable II, and you, the hero, are the child (you can choose to be either man or woman) of the hero of the previous game. But things aren't so peachy in Albion, as your brother Logan has become a tyrant who rules his kingdom with an iron fist. Eventually, you have enough of Logan's style of rule and rebel against him after a particularly ugly incident in which you must make a choice of grave consequences, and go out into the world, gaining allies and biding your time until you and your cronies can successfully overthrow King Logan. Eventually (SPOILER ALERT), you succeed, and now as ruler of Albion, you are faced with difficult decisions in governing the people. Like the previous two Fable games, you can be as good or as bad as you want to be. Whether you want to be good to the people and give back to the poor, or be evil and slay innocent villagers left and right, Fable III gives you that choice. Here is the cover for Fable III, courtesy of allgame.com:

Some of the positives for Fable III include the graphics, as the team at Lionhead Studios have created a gorgeous and breathtaking virtual world that has many different elaborate designs and features. The various characters in this game actually look like people, and all of the various towns each have their own distinctive charm to them. The audio in this game is also very well done, with the voice acting coming through crystal clear. The music wasn't too annoying, although there wasn't much variety, while the sound effects seemed to fit in well with what was happening at the time.

Combat in Fable III is, shall I say, kind of repetitive. Most of the time you just encounter a horde of enemies like hobbes and hollow men and are able to slash your way through the pile without too much damage. Or you can do a major spell and obliterate your opponents that way. For some reason, the makers of Fable 3 decided to dumb things down a bit by not only reducing the number of available spells from 15 to 6, but also taking away the manual aim on ranged weapons that was present in Fable 2. The latter decision has made sniping enemies from long range without being noticed nearly impossible, as you can't get a one shot kill anymore. Also, it has made shooting ranged weapons in general a lot less effective and frankly, less entertaining. Magic in this game is quite devastating, almost too devastating, and unlike most games, there's no limit on magic energy, so you can just press the B button over and over a few times and kill all your enemies with ease. While the ability to combine spells is interesting, I'm kind of ticked that there isn't nearly as many spells to use and master than in the first two Fable games. I'm also kind of ticked that there is no health bar in the game, as the only indication that you're in peril is when the option to take a potion or some food comes up on the option wheel in the lower left corner of the screen.

One of the things I enjoyed most about the Fable series is interacting with characters by using various expressions and effecting their perceptions of your character in either a positive or negative way, depending on the expression. Well, you can also do that in Fable 3, but it's not quite as enjoyable. On the plus side, there are a variety of new expressions to use, including hugging, tickling (which is kind of weird to do to a random stranger, but whatever), patty cake, and others. However, the expression wheel from Fable 2 is gone, so instead of having multiple expressions to choose from at any time, you are now only left with the two that happen to be presented. Also, instead of being able to interact with multiple people at a time, you can now only perform an expression for one person at a time, making it more time consuming to make friends or enemies. Also, instead of just becoming friends with villagers through expressions, you now have to earn their friendship or love through doing tasks for them. Unfortunately, the tasks are very repetitive and unimaginative, as either you go find something buried in the ground, deliver a package to another person, or you have to buy something for them. If you are pursuing a romantic relationship, you must go on a date with the person, which only consists of holding their hand, taking them to a specific spot, and sharing a kiss. Like the first two Fables, you can eventually marry and have children with the spouse of your choice, or, if you find the right person, you can go out and have premarital sex, although you may also get an STD if you do this without protection. Overall, the villagers are kind of repetitive and dull, and the constant tasks you must do in order to make friends doesn't really seem worth all of the effort.

The game also allows you to buy property like houses and shops with whatever money you earn, and through renting out houses and owning shops, you can accumulate money quite easily. Almost too easily, in fact. Furthermore, since everything like potions and furniture can be bought at a a fairly decent price, there comes a point in the game where money is really no object, so you can just go around and buy whatever you want while your savings are replenished through rent money after every five minutes of game play. As for the story of the game, it felt a bit shorter than the previous two Fable games, and although most of the main characters involved are interesting, and there are some cool side tasks, the main part of the mission is full of similar missions (usually you go somewhere, kill a bunch of enemies, and advance). Even when you become ruler, the choices you make aren't really terribly difficult to decide, as you either do the good thing or the evil thing after a minute long presentation is given by various characters.

If there were two beefs that I had with Fable 3, one is that the game is full of glitches. There are many fits of weirdness, such as getting stuck for no reason at all, having your dog disappear for minutes at a time, losing the trail you are on at the time in the middle of a quest, so you have no idea where you're going before it magically reappears, and so forth. The other thing about Fable 3 that I have beef with is that it is just too easy. Death has no real consequence in the game, as you just get back five seconds later to fight again instead of a more severe penalty such as, say, losing whatever progress you made on your quest. Making money is a cinch after you gain the ability to own property (why you have to gain the ability to own property with experience points is kind of strange, but whatever), so you're never short on cash. Your weapons evolve with each use, so there's no real use in buying newer weapons, and besides, the enemies never evolve too much in difficulty from the beginning to the end of the game, so it doesn't really matter anyway. Heck, even your dog has become easier, as unlike the previous game, it never gets hurt even when surrounded by 25 sword wielding bandits and improving it's skill is basically a matter of finding the right book (instead of evolving by levels, you can now buy a level five treasure seeking book, use it, and poof, your dog's instantly at the highest level, even if he started at level one).

Overall, I may have said a lot of seemingly negative things about Fable 3, and they are all true, but Fable 3 still can be a somewhat enjoyable game experience. That being said, it almost seems like a Triple-A version of Fable 2, as the series seems to have taken a step backwards instead of forwards in quality and innovation. Overall, I'd give Fable 3 a 5.2 out of 10, as it's decent enough, but is overall too repetitive and simple and could have been so much better. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any comments about this or previous posts, or ideas for future reviews or posts, than share them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Canon Video Game Review: The Godfather (XBox)

For all the regular followers of The Canon Review (all three of you), you may have noticed that I have not been as active as usual over the past couple of weeks. Well, a large reason for that is because I have been playing The Godfather for the X-Box. The Godfather the Game is a 2006 game that was both produced and distributed by Electronic Arts. The game is, of course, based off of the book and the motion picture of the same name.

image courtesy of allgame.com

The makers of The Godfather went all out to keep true to the original source material, even bringing back James Caan, Robert Duvall, Abe Vigoda, and Marlon Brando to do voice overs for their characters in the movie. Unfortunately, Al Pacino could not voice Michael Corleone in the game, as he had a contract with another gaming company to do voice overs for the Scarface video game. As it turned out, Brando's voiceover work in this game was the last work he ever did, and there is some controversy as to how much of Don Vito's dialogue was actually done by Brando or by an impersonator. If it was an impersonator, well I must say that he had Brando's voice down pat. In the Godfather game, set in the 1950s, you play as an original character doing various deeds for the Corleone family after Luca Brasi. From there, you play a role in many of the key parts of The Godfather story, including the famous horse head scene and also planting the gun in the restuarant bathroom for Michael to murder the police chief and Sollozzo.

But missions is not all that you do in the Godfather. Much like the GTA games, the game allows you to roam around New York causing chaos. You can steal cars, chat with and beat up citizens, bribe police officers and even rob banks if that's what you're into. Also, you can go around town and take over businesses for the Corleone family, offering the family's protection to various shops and hotels around the city. If they refuse, then you can slap them around some or mess up their store front until they get the message. The more damage you do, the bigger your weekly cut, although if you get the store owners too riled up, they'll refuse to pay up. Not to mention that the mob family your taking the shop from won't be too happy about you nosing in on their territory, so expect lots of fights between you and the other New York families. The business takeover aspect of the game is a nice touch, however, there isn't much variety in the building interiors, as every hotel looks the same, every flower shop, every bakery, etc. Fortunately, the missions are varied enough so that you don't feel like you're doing the same thing over and over again, and the notion of taking place in some of the most famous scenes in the movie also adds to the excitement of the game.

The controls of this game are rather simple to learn and are very responsive overall, although I had some problems with a couple of actions in the game such as throwing people after grabbing them. When fighting mobsters, you can either take them on and hand-to-hand combat, which is nicely done, btw, or by using a variety of weapons from Tommy guns to Magnums to pistols to lead pipes and even a piano wire to choke out opponents from behind. The game has an auto aim feature that allows you to quickly lock on to an opponent. While combat isn't too hard, you will end up dying a lot, as oftentimes the mobsters will gang up on you and it only takes a couple of shots to put your character down. Then again, since dying really has no consequence other than costing 100 dollars for a doctor visit, it's not really a big deal. Dying in a mission also isn't consequential, as each mission has a series of checkpoints from which you can start over after being defeated.

The game allows the player to customize their character, from building their face in the beginning of the game to buying a closet full of clothes or getting one of a variety of haircuts. This is a nice touch, although there isn't a whole lot of variety of clothes to choose from. The nicer the clothes you wear, the more respect you will get. You also get respect by completing missions, shaking down business owners and taking over rackets, and even bribing cops to get you off your back. The more respect you obtain, the more ability points you get to improve your shooting and fighting skills, as well as speed, health, and street smarts. Driving in The Godfather is a mixed bag, as on one hand, its rather simple to control a car. On the other hand, it's nearly impossible to weave through traffic on the highway, so expect a lot of crashes and a lot of pedestrians being run over in the game.

The graphics in this game are solid, as everything runs smoothly and all of the characters look life like, especially Tom Hagen and Sonny Corleone. It would have helped if there were more variety in building interiors and cars, but that's a minor issue. The sound of this game is a major plus, as not only is the original Godfather theme featured in the game, but the soundtrack as a whole is both diverse and sets the tone for each game situation. The voiceovers are crystal clear, and each gun and car sounds accurate. For example, if you fire a shotgun, it sounds like a 1950s style shotgun.

Overall, unlike a lot of video games based off of movies, The Godfather is one heck of a game. Sure, it's not quite on par with the movie, but honestly very few games or movies are, and The Godfather: The Game is a great compliment to the movie and is deep enough to provide hours upon hours of gameplay. Overall, I'd give The Godfather: The Game an 8.35 out of 10. Well thanks for reading, and if you have any thoughts about this review or this game, then share those thoughts by leaving a comment. Also, if you have an idea for a future review, then share those with me either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at kthec2001@gmail.com.

Canon Video Game Review: Shove It ... The Warehouse Game (Sega Genesis)

Today I'm going to review a little video game with a somewhat offensive title, Shove It. Unfortunately, they had to ruin the angry spirit of the title by adding 'The Warehouse Game' to it. Shove It is a game for the Sega Genesis that was released in 1990 and published by DreamWorks, and no, it is not the same DreamWorks that produced such films as Gladiator and Biker Boyz. No, this Dreamworks published a few other games for the Sega Genesis in the early 1990s, but never did produce a hit video game. Here is a look at the cover for Shove It, courtesy of allgame.com:

In Shove It, you play as a warehouse worker named Stevedore. Obviously they didn't put much thought in the name. Besides, a stevedore usually refers to a worker that moves cargo off and on ships, and while you may be moving cargo, there is no ship that I am aware of in this game. Anyway, the plot of the game is this, Stevedore has met a girl and has fallen for her, but in order to gain her interest, he must get a brand new sports car. In order to do that, Stevedore must complete moving all the boxes at the warehouse. There are 16 levels in the game, each with 10 puzzles. In order to complete each level, you must shove the boxes in the correct spot, which is marked with a white circle. The controls are remarkably simple, as you use the d-pad to move the boxes, the b button brings up a menu with a few options (including restart, which trust me gets a lot of use in the game) and the a button allows you to pull the box back one space after you have shoved it.

Sounds simple enough, right? Well not so fast, my friend. For one, you can only push the boxes, not pull the boxes (or otherwise the game might be called shove and tug it or something). Also, you can only undo the last shove you make, so if you accidentally move a box into a corner and leave it, well, tough luck. Make no mistake about it, this is a challenging puzzle game, even in the early levels, and things only get harder as more and more boxes have to be moved. The game gives you a password to use after completing each level (i.e. 10 rooms), so that's something at least. The graphics are incredibly simple, as it's just an overhead shot of Stevedore in the warehouse moving boxes. The surroundings slightly change with each level, but really there's only so much you can do with this type of game. Also, there's an animation of Stevedore shoving a box after you finish each room. The audio in this game is basically one thirty second track that was played on an electric keyboard and loops over and over again. If you wanted to play this game, I would suggest turning the sound off and listening to some music, as you're not really missing anything with the sound on. There is also an edit mode where you can create your own puzzles, but the problem is you can't save them after you stop playing the game.

Overall, I can't imagine anyone dropping 50 dollars on this title back when it came out, as Shove It is a rather simple game in its presentation. But that's not to say that Shove It is a bad game. In fact, it's a rather challenging puzzle game that can be rather addictive. Shove It is far from the worst game to come out for the Genesis, and is actually quite a fun little time waster, even if there are many games similar to this that you could probably play for free somewhere on the internet. Overall, I'll give Shove It a 6.09 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future reviews, or comments about this review, then share them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com

Canon Video Game Review: World Series of Poker (XBOX)

Over the past few days, I have found myself playing a lot of the 2005 game World Series of Poker for the XBOX. It is the best first-person shooting game I have ever played. Well, not really. Like you might have guessed from its name, World Series of Poker is a poker game that features the logos of the World Series of Poker and some poker professionals from the World Poker Tour. Other than Chris Ferguson, I don't know who any of the pros are, but I guess they had to be pretty successful to get into the game. Or maybe they paid somebody, what do I know? Here is the cover for the game, courtesy of amazon.com:

In World Series of Poker, the game offers four different games of poker to play. There's the most well known, Texas Hold 'Em, as well as Seven Card Stud, Omaha, and Razz. Both Seven Card Stud and Omaha also have hi-lo split versions, where the lowest and highest hands split the pot. Even though I only knew of Texas Hold 'Em when I first started playing the game, the other games are not too hard to pick up. However, the instruction book and the game itself wasn't too helpful in explaining the rules. So basically you're either left to figure it out on the fly or look up the rules somewhere on the internet. The graphics are nothing to write home about, but since it is just a poker game, graphics aren't really the most important factor. I will say that the characters look rather normal, and you can clearly see everything that is going on. The game provides commentary from poker announcer Lon McEachern, but I think he says only eight phrases throughout the game, and the commentary gets rather repetitive after the third hand or so.

The game offers a career mode where you create your own player and get 10,000 dollars each year to participate in various events, depending on the game, the type of bet (no-limit, pot limit, limit bets) and the amount of cash it takes to play each game. Of course, the big event is the World Series of Poker. Although it's a rather simple career mode, I have found it to be quite enjoyable. The game also offers different poker chips for achievements on the game, such as winning tournaments, eliminating pros in a showdown, getting certain hands and also for the amount of money you win throughout your career. You can't really do anything with the chips, so it's basically like the achievements on an XBox 360 game.

The game itself moves pretty fast, so you don't waste a lot of time watching the CPU players making their decisions, unlike the World Series of Poker game for the XBox 360, which takes forever to play just one hand. The AI players range from extremely aggressive to extremely conservative, although most of the players seem to lean towards the former. This makes things rather frustrating at times, especially when they'll go all in with a crappy hand like a 7-2 or something. Of course with my luck, they'll end up getting three more sevens or something, but I digress. I will say that they are rather predictable, so an experienced poker player will be able to pick up on each player's betting tendencies early in the game. One rather annoying thing about the game is that the CPU likes to rub it in when they win, and since most characters only have about 6 or 7 lines of dialogue, you hear the same things over and over again. One guy kept saying "Trying to knock down a dinosaur" after dang near each bet he made. Not only is it a dumb thing to say, but the constant repetition finally caused me to turn the sound down and listen to some music. Luckily, the game offers the use of custom soundtracks, so you can just listen to the music stored on your XBox is the sound gets too annoying. The game also has online play available, but since I don't feel like renewing my XBox live account, I won't be playing it online anytime soon. From what I remember, it's not too bad, but a little slow and if the host leaves the table, the game automatically ends instead of the game finding another host, which kind of sucks.

Overall, World Series of Poker is just a basic cookie-cutter poker game, but it still is quite enjoyable to play, in least in my view. There are a couple of weaknesses, but overall the game moves quickly and should provide anyone wanting to play some poker a good time. I'll give the game a 6.5 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future reviews, or thoughts about this and previous reviews, than feel free to leave a comment or send me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Now, here's a video of a lucky poker hand for Chris Ferguson:

Canon Video Game Review: Ultimate Basketball (NES)

Sorry for the lack of activity the past couple of days, as I overdosed on Jon Voight movies and spent two days searching for Jon Voight's car. Anyway, today's review is of the first basketball video game that I ever owned and played, Ultimate Basketball. Released in 1990 for the Nintendo Entertainment System, Ultimate Basketball was developed and published by American Sammy, which produced various other games for the Nintendo and Super Nintendo over the years, including Jimmy Houston's Bass Tournament U.S.A. I remember playing Ultimate Basketball as a kid, but I also remember not liking it too much. I still have the cartridge around somewhere, but my NES doesn't work, so I must play on an emulator instead. Here's the cover for the game, courtesy of allgame.com:

Well, you can definitely tell that it's a basketball game. Anyway, in Ultimate Basketball, you can play either an exhibition game or a tournament. The game features seven fictional teams with fictional players, each team having different strengths and weaknesses. What they are, I don't know, since they all seem to play the same style of basketball, full-court press on defense and constantly driving to the hoop on offense. The graphics are not anything groundbreaking, and the players look and move like cro-magnon cavemen, but the game does have a horizontal view of the court and you can usually tell what's going on. There are certain plays, such as a dunk, three-pointer and free throw, that will change the view into a close up view of the action going on. When going up for a dunk, there's a meter that shows up, and you have to hit the shoot button at the right time or otherwise, you will miss. The controls are rather straightforward, although you have to hit the jump button twice to shoot, and there's not a button to steal the ball, as steals seem to happen at random. The music in the game is neither memorable or annoying, it's just there. The sound effects are mostly realistic for a basketball game, except the sound of a missed shot sounds nothing like a ball hitting the rim. Instead, it sound like the sound of a small hammer hitting a piece of scrap metal, if that makes any sense.

After playing the game, I suddenly remember why I didn't like this game in the first place. For one, passing the ball inbounds is nearly impossible, as the cpu opponent will steal it if you throw the ball to anyone that is not directly in front of you. It doesn't matter if you throw the ball to the left or the right, the ball will magically appear in the CPUs hands, and he'll go in for the easy dunk unless he misses. Speaking of which, there are way too many times where the cpu will go for the dunk, and the close-up animation will show up, and the computer won't even try for the dunk, instead just floating by the rim. Wouldn't it be more realistic if there was an animation of the player missing the dunk?

From there, it gets worse. Apparently, the CPU has an incredible ability to steal the ball. All he has to do is run up behind the player, get relatively close to him and poof! the ball is in his hands. Even if you're on a fast break, the computer will catch up with you nearly every time. However, if you try to do the same, you more than likely will either fail or get called for a foul. Actually, I got called for a lot of fouls on both ends, as apparently breathing on an opposing player will cause a file. The worst call happened when I had just inbounded the ball and was called for a charge, and all of a sudden, the cpu starts shooting free throws. I guess they changed the rules of basketball while I wasn't looking. Another rule change for this game is that jumpballs don't just occur at the beginning of the game, but rather at the beginning of each quarter. Who knew? One advantage that you have is that 75-foot shots are remarkably easy to make on this game, but that goes for the cpu as well. Even on the easiest level, the CPU' defense is sharp to the point of being unrealistic, while your non-controlled players seem to enjoy standing on the half court line and watching the other team go to the rim. Frustrating does not begin to describe this game. It's like being in a home run derby with Albert Pujols, and you have to use a wiffleball bat.

Overall, I must say that I do not like this game. Sure, there a couple of neat effects, like the dunk closeup shot and mini-game that goes along with it, and the game has decent graphics for an Nintendo basketball game. But the degree of difficulty and the cheapness of the A.I. is such that it makes the game completely unenjoyable, and not worth playing much more than one game. I'll give it a 2.09583 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com

Canon Video Game Review: Incredible Crash Test Dummies (Sega Genesis)

Today's classic video game under review is The Incredible Crash Test Dummies game for the Sega Genesis. The game also was released for the Super Nintendo and the Nintendo Entertainment System, and a different game with the same title was made for the Sega Master System. Crash Test Dummies was a line of action figures based off of some public service announcements featuring actual crash test dummies that was designed to illustrate the dangers of not buckling up. For some reason, the folks at Tyco saw the next big craze for kids, and designed some action figures of crash test dummies with removable body parts. They also came with their own vehicles, so if you so desire, you could your dummy in the vehicle, crash into various things and see body parts fly everywhere. The figures must have sold well, because soon after that there was a cartoon movie made of the Crash Test Dummies, and that cartoon serves as the basis for this game. I must say that I remember hearing about it being on Fox and seeing commercials for it, but I have no idea what names the characters had or anything really about it. I do remember the figures, since one of my friends had a couple of them, and, well, they were fun for a while, but crashing into walls kind and seeing body parts fly does actually get old after a while. At least they did for me. I was curious about what a game about the Crash Test Dummies would entail, so I decided to give it a shot and see what happens. To start, here is a picture of the game cover (courtesy of mobygames.com):

That one dummy seems awfully happy considering he's losing his leg due to a powerful stream of water coming out of the ground. The game was developed by Gray Matter (which also developed games based off of the movies Crow:City of Angels, The Terminator, and Wayne's World) and distributed by Acclaim, a source of quality games such as BMX:XXX throughout the years. The game starts and these two particular dummies, named Slick and Spin, are conversing with a doctor dummy known as Dr. Zub, who is worried that a guy named Junkman is going to build a T9000. A T9000, What is this, Terminator? Anyway, Junkman comes and abducts the good doctor, leaving one of the dummies (I can't tell the difference between the two) to go out and save Dr. Zub while the other looks after the place. That's a bit odd, considering that there main enemy has just come in and kidnapped the doctor, and now there's somebody watching the place? That's like watching over the barn after the cows have escaped, but whatever.

The game is a platform game, mainly a horizontal game but later levels get more vertical. Your dummy must avoid enemies such as cars, tires, parking meters, and evil crash test dummies designed to stop your goal of rescuing Dr. Zub. You get five lives to start, and with each hit you lose a limb, starting with the legs and moving on to the arms. Once you take a hit without any arms or legs, you lose a life. You can stop your enemies either by jumping on top of them Mario Bros. style, or by throwing wrenches at them. You can pick up wrenches throughout the game, as well as hazard stickers and screwdrivers. If you pick up a screwdriver, you recover a body part, which comes quite in handy, I would say. Not too hard to figure out, huh?

The graphics for this game aren't too bad for their era. Everything at least looks sharp and clear. However, there is a problem with the graphics once an object makes impact with your character and you lose a limb, as it kind of skips a frame or two. It's kind of hard to describe, but there is something not quite right about it, and you can probably tell if you happen to play this game. Other than that, the rest of the game's graphics aren't too shabby. The background music is rather bland and unremarkable, but at least it wasn't too annoying. Something I found odd was the fact that even without arms and legs, the dummy still can jump and throw as if he had all of his appendages. How does one throw a wrench at full speed without any arms? Then again, the game is about a crash test dummy who has come to life and can jump over moving cars, so I guess I shouldn't ask too many questions and just let it go.

I didn't beat the game, didn't come close in fact. I got to the third level a couple of times and I nearly beat that level once, but died just before the end. Or at least I think it was just before the end. The controls are easy to master, but a constant source of frustration was the hit detection problems on the game. On more than one occasion, a tire or something else would come nowhere close to me, and I would lose a limb anyways. What the hell? Is the force of an object coming within a 20 foot radius of the dummy enough for him to lose a limb? If so, that's just poor craftsmanship, and that dummy needs to be taken back to the shop.

Overall, this game is not a classic, but for a simple platform game based off of a line of action figures, it's not all that bad. You may get a little frustrated by a couple of elements of the game, and the game probably wouldn't take a skilled player too long to beat, but it's not bad if you are in the mood to play a simple, non-complicated platform game. Plus, there's not many games where can control a character without legs, so that's an added bonus. I'll give the game a 4.4 out of 10, as it's not remarkable in any way, but it doesn't flat out suck either.

Well, thanks for reading, and remember that if you have any ideas for future posts to The Canon Review, than send them to me either by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com or by leaving a comment, and I'll see what I can do to fulfill your requests.

Canon Video Game Review: GTA IV: The Lost and the Damned (XBOX360)

Recently, I purchased the Grand Theft Auto IV: Episodes from Liberty City expansion disc for the XBOX 360.  The disc contains both "episodes" of extra content that Rockstar produced using the Grand Theft Auto IV engine. This review will be about the first episode: The Lost and the Damned. In The Lost and the Damned, you play as Johnny Klebitz, Vice President of the Lost motorcycle club. If you played Grand Theft Auto IV, you may remember Klebitz, as he made an appearance during a few missions during the game. Interestingly, in TLATD, you get to play those same missions, only this time it's from Johnny's point of view. Anyway, the story takes place during the same time period as the events from GTA IV and mainly focuses on Johnny and his gang, the Lost. The president, Billy Grey, has just been released from prison, and seems determined to make up for lost time by picking fights with everyone and starting wars that had stopped during his incarceration, including one with the Lost's main rivals, The Angels of Death. Johnny, meanwhile, is trying to keep Billy from going too far, and the two constantly butt heads over the direction the group is taking. Johnny has some serious backup in Jim, the Lost's treasuerer, Terry, the Sergent-at-Arms, and Clay, the Road Captain. These men prove to be quite handy throughout the game, escpecially Clay, who can get you any bike you want at any time during the game. Johnny also runs into to various crooks and theives and criminals throughout the game, and from time to time will work with them to enhance his own standing, as well as The Lost's standing. A few notes about this game:

- One thing I liked about this game was that they didn't just make a new story and stick all the same stuff from GTA IV in there. By that I mean, there are new weapons available to Johnny, including an automatic pistol, combat shotgun, a grenade launcher, and pipe bombs. Since this is a game about a motorcycle gang, it makes sense that Rockstar would give you a lot more motorcycles to ride, including Johnny's personal ride, the Hexer. Another change in this game is that the motorcycles are a LOT easier to handle than they were in GTA IV, so missions involving motorcycles won't have you cursing in frustration the whole time.

- Also, changes have been made to the radio stations, which feature all new songs from the originial and a couple of new stations as well. The rock station is much better in this game, at least in my opinion, and the soundtrack seems to fit the whole motif of the game. There's also new activities your character can do, including playing air hockey with your friends, racing motorcycles (in which you're given a bat, and you can whack your fellow racers with, Road Rash style), gambling in a card game known as "High-Low", and even arm-wrestling, although I wasn't too good at that.

- Like GTA IV, you can hang out with your friends and do a variety of activities with them, including playing pool, going to the strip club, getting drunk, whatever. Unlike GTA IV, your friends won't bug the hell out of you and ask to go bowling for the 17th time this week. Also, they won't be hurt if you go a while without doing anything with them, and each character's ability is unlocked at the beginning at the game, so you don't have to do anything with them, really, but it is a nice option to have.

- Your friends also come in handy during missions and in 'gang wars', a side mission not unlike the gang wars in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. You and a group of your brothers go out and attack various other street gangs. Some of the lesser gang members will parish during these battles, but if they live long enough, they'll get more experience points and get better weapons and more health with each battle. The main beneficiaries are Terry and Clay, since they can't be killed off and you do most of the missions in the later stages of the game with backup from both men, so you're not just taking on 75 guys by yourself all the time.

- One of the complaints that I've most heard about GTA IV is that the missions weren't different enough. I'd like to say that things are different in TLATD, and although there are a few different types of missions not seen in GTAIV, a lot of the missions are the same basic scenario, shoot a bunch of guys and run from the cops type of missions. Well, at least you get different guns to use, so it's a little different, but still.

- If you want to play this game, you had better know what you are doing, as the game assumes that you've played GTA IV before and throws you right in the thick of things early on. However, I am pleased to say that there isn't one mission that is super difficult in this game, unlike the Snow Storm and Three Leaf-Clover missions in GTA IV which frustrated a whole lot of gamers to no end.

- There are 23 missions in the main story of the game, so TLATD is a lot shorter than GTA IV, which could be a chore to complete. If one were so inclined, you could beat this game in about 5 or 6 hours. However, I got caught up in all the races and gang wars and other extracurricular stuff so it took me quite a bit longer to beat it.

- One of the complaints that my friends had about GTA IV is that they didn't like many of the characters in the game, particularly the protagonist, Niko Bellic. Well, Johnny is kind of like Niko in that he tends to complain a lot and has some sense of morality even though he's a murdering thief, but unlike Niko, at least Johnny seems to realize his own hypocrisy. However, Johnny's supporting cast is a lot more likeable than Niko's, partly because they don't bother you as much and partially because they are interesting characters on their own accord, particularly Jim, who was my favorite character on either GTA IV or TLATD.

Overall, if you're like me and really like GTA IV, than if you haven't played this by now, I recommend that you do so as soon as possible. If you weren't crazy about GTA IV, than I wouldn't spend the 20 bucks to download it on your X-Box, and I would recommend that you either rent it or find the Episodes from Liberty City disc real cheap somewhere if you're curious about the game. Although there were some changes, if you didn't like GTA IV, than you're probably not going to like this game either, although I will say that this game seems to be more "action-packed" than GTA IV, which started out slow in my opinion. But I liked both games, and I'll give The Lost and the Damned an 8.3 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have suggestions for future reviews, than shoot an e-mail my way at KtheC2001@gmail.com or find some other way to give me your idea.

Canon Video Game Review: Virtua Fighter (32X)

I'm not the world's biggest fan of fighting games. The main reason is because I never was any good at them. While my brother and my friends would master games like Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter, pulling off all of the combos and the fatalities and what not, I'd be struggling pulling off even the simplest combos, except for Scorpion's "get over here" move in Mortal Kombat. Other than that, I was lost.

I also am not the biggest fan of the Sega 32X. Then again, there are not very many fans of the 32X. In case you don't know, the 32X was an add-on for the Sega Genesis, with its own games and a 32-bit processor, meaning that in theory, it was twice as powerful as the 16-bit Genesis. The way it worked was that you would plug in an adapter to the back of the Genesis system, and then put the 32X into the Genesis in the slot where normally cartridges are put. If it sounds complicated, well, that's because it was. I remember back in 1996 or so, where we first bought a 32X from a music store in Commerce, GA. At first, it was kind of fun, particularly the game Doom. But it never really worked right, as we had problems after problems with the 32X. We'd go to different stores, trying to find another 32X, which by this point had become rare. We even went out and got a different Sega Genesis system just to get the 32X working properly. Eventually, we gave up on it, and my Dad went out and bought a PlayStation instead, which turned out to be the right move.

With all of that said, it was only natural that I would review Virtua Fighter, a game whose genre I'm not particularly a fan of, which was originally for a system that I came to despise. Released in 1995, Virtua Fighter is credited with being the first fighting game that used 3-D polygons. The game was originally released by Sega as an arcade game, and much like other arcade games like Mortal Kombat and NBA Jam, the game was ported to other systems once it became popular. Virtua Fighter was ported for the Sega Saturn, as well as the 32X. I have decided to review the 32X version because, well, that's the one that's on my computer.

While the graphics for this game were considered revolutionary at the time of its release, they really don't hold up today. The characters are all blocky, and the fighting environments are flat and boring. Even 2D games like Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat had superior looking fighting environments. However, the animations are smooth, and there's not any issues with character movement or anything like that. The controls seem to be responsive enough, however, I was using a keyboard so it was hard to tell. There are eight different characters in this game. At first I chose Pai, mainly because she had on a silly hat, but I found her moveset hard to master. Then I went with the Australian fisherman Jeffry, and a was at least able to master a few of his big moves, like the power slam and the overhead gorilla press slam. There are a lot of different moves in Virtua Fighter, and unlike other fighting games at the time, there's nobody that shoots fire or ice or uses duplicity or anything of that sort. It's all hand to hand combat, making it a little more realistic than its competitors. The gameplay isn't bad at all, as it's quick paced and everything runs smoothly. The one problem I had was that each character had a vertical leap like Michael Jordan, and would seem to float in the air for a good two to three seconds. The jumping made it seem like the fighters were competing on the moon or another low-gravity surface. It was actually kind of ridiculous.

To conclude this review. Virtua Fighter is a rarity, a quality game for the 32X. Sure there are some weaknesses, but the overall package is strong enough to compensate somewhat for the issues that the game has. If for some reason you have a 32X (or if you're like me and have a 32X emulator on your computer), then this game will be an enjoyable experience. Put it this way, there are a lot worse games you can play than this one. Overall, I'll give Virtua Fighter a 6.5 out of 10. Thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future reviews, or you would like to contribute a review of your own, than either leave me a comment on The Canon Review or shoot me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com. I leave you with a man nearly setting himself on fire.

Canon Video Game Reviews: Back to the Future and Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure (Part 2: Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure)

I would have done this sooner, but today was the start of the NCAA Tournament, and what a start it was. Plenty of close games, a couple of buzzer beaters, and quite a few upsets. Who would have thought that Ohio would beat Georgetown? or that Robert Morris would have beaten Villanova had the referees not bailed the Wildcats out? All in all, it was a great day of basketball. I wish I could say that it was a great day of video gaming for me, but it wasn't. In the previous post, I reviewed Back to the Future and how much it sucked. Now it's time for Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure. Here's the video game cover, courtesy of theoldcomputer.com

It's Bill and Ted on top of their telephone booth time machine, with Rufus in a moon for some reason. Looks like they are in outer space, which is odd because they never went to outer space in the first movie, nor do they in the game. Well, whatever. The game was published by LJN and released in 1991, around the time the Bill and Ted sequel was released. The game starts out promising enough, as Rufus appears on screen to inform both Ted and Bill separately that space-time rebels have kidnapped historical figures and placed them in different times. To save the world, Bill and Ted must go back in time, collect the historical figures and put them in their actual time. They must do this before their concert, which according to Rufus is the one where the Wyld Stallyns get discovered and start on their road to become the most influential band in the universe. The story picks up right where the movie left off, which is more than you can say about the previous game. There are 12 historical figures to collect in all, ranging from King Arthur to Elvis, and each person has a number which the guys have to dial in order to go back to the proper time. You play as either Bill and Ted, depending on whose turn it is, as Ted starts, then Bill goes, and so on. In order to get the person to follow you, you must find a piece of "historical bait" hidden in the game, as well as being able to find the person.

Sounds simple enough, right? Well it is not that simple. For one thing, the levels are huge for an NES game. Which would be fine, except a lot of it is a bunch of empty space. There are certain parts where your character can walk, and other parts where your character can't walk and is forced to jump towards an area where he can walk. You can get hints from guards standing still, but a lot of it is contradictory, and really you have no idea what direction is east or north or anything. The guards are easily pissed off, though. If you run into them while moving, they will either take one of your coins or send you to jail. Other guards are so angry that they will chase you down and if they catch you, they send you to jail no matter what. Yet if they're standing still, most of them will give you stuff like keys and firecrackers and other stuff to defend yourself against the very guards giving you these gifts. Go figure.

There are also a few houses you can into, a lot of them have people in them and many of them won't be too helpful and won't be happy to see your slacker self at all. Often times, when you leave a house, there will be a gang of guards around trying to catch you, so get your firecrackers and dangerous textbooks (weapons you can use) ready. This game is rather tedious, as most of it is your character either walking or jumping and trying to avoid guards. Plus, you're given so many dang keys to get out of jail that you are rarely in danger of losing the game. Maybe it would help if I were better at video games, I don't know, but ultimately, I got so bored that I quit after about an hour or so, without finding Thomas Edison or any other historical figure, for that matter.

For an NES game, the graphics aren't too bad. I wish there was more details put into the levels, but what there is does look sharp. The audio is, rather interesting. With each level, there's a theme song. However, it only last about 25 seconds and after that there is nothing but silence. Then, once you exit a house, the theme starts again. I will say the one theme I heard wasn't terrible, I just found it odd that most of the game is played without background music.

In conclusion, as far as how this game relates to the film its based on, I would say that Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure at least gets that right by keeping the main theme of the movie while coming up with an original concept based on that theme. So as far as that goes, I'll give it a 8.4 out of 10. As for the actual game, well, at least it's better than Back to the Future, but that's like saying being kicked by a horse is better than being forced to swallow a bowling ball. Out of 10, I'll give this game a 2.5 out of 10, as it had potential, but ended up falling way short. Thanks for reading, and I hope you found it interesting. If you have any ideas for future posts, or would like to contribute something to The Canon Review, then let me know either by leaving a comment on this blog or by email at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Posts can be about anything, even something as simple as a bottle of soda. Tomorrow, I'll be reviewing a movie, although I really don't know which one yet, or even if I'll do one or two, so stay tuned.

Canon Video Game Review: Ninja Kid (NES)

It's a sad day here at The Canon Review, as Merlin Olsen, the man that played Benton the butler in Mitchell, has passed away. Sure, Olsen was a Hall of Fame defensive lineman in the NFL, who went on to have some success acting, but to me, he'll always be the butler that served cold coffee to his boss and got impaled on a boat hook by Joe Don Baker. RIP Merlin, you were not a lousy butler.

But while we mourn the loss of Benton, we must move on. Perhaps later today I will watch Mitchell, but I'm not sure yet. However, I did have the pleasure of playing the 1986 video game classic known as Ninja Kid. Released in 1986 for the Nintendo, Ninja Kid was developed and produced by Bandai. According to Wikipedia, Ninja Kid was based on a popular Japanese manga series at the time called GeGeGe No Kitaro, which is about a boy born in a graveyard who has one eye and has lived over 350 years, fighting the forces of evil with many weapons and powers. However, the developers decided to make this game more generic, as the game's main character is nameless and the levels are pretty generic. Here is the cover for Ninja Kid, courtesy of theoldcomputer.com

That kid has some interesting looking cheeks. Also, his shoes don't match, and he is shooting lightning. In the game, he doesn't shoot lightning so I think that's false advertising. It would have been a whole different ballgame if I could zap my opponents with a bolt of electricity, that's for sure, but I digress. The game starts with the lead character on a map, there are a few buildings up, but he can only go to the one closest to him, which is where the action begins. There are four different levels, and each level is random. The levels are each side scrolling affairs, and depending on the levels, you must complete a certain task in order to advance. For example, there's one level where you must collect 10 ghosts, and another level where you have to kill 10 enemies. The controls are rather simple, A jumps, B fires your weapon, and you move using the d-pad.

This game is rather difficult, because only one hit by any of your enemies will cause you to lose a life, and you only have three lives. Also, whereas your character can only shoot horizontally, your enemies can shoot vertically, horizontally, and diagonally, putting you at a great disadvantage. It would have helped if I had done some research on this game before playing it, as I just dove right in without any clue, and oftentimes I kept running around like a headless chicken because I was unaware of the different objectives required by the game. Also, this game cheats. At one point I was on an upper platform, when a skeleton comes from the ground, somehow flies up to right where I was standing and killed me. I didn't know ground dwelling skeletons could soar through the air like a bald eagle. Stupid game.

The graphics are what you would expect from a 1986 Nintendo side-scrolling platform game, they're not great, but I'd say the graphics were pretty good considering the game's timeframe. The audio kind of stinks, as they play this annoying song non-stop throughout the game, unless you get to a boss level, in which the music becomes only slightly less annoying.

Overall, this game is better than the last game I reviewed, but there's not a whole lot that makes me want to play it again. The story is bland, the levels change slightly, but not a whole lot, and the only real variety is the tasks you have to do to pass the levels. Plus, from what I read, this game never ends, as once you pass all the levels and bosses, it just starts over at a harder level. That kind of stinks. I'll give this a 4.12 out of 10, as the game is inoffensive enough (if a little difficult) but to me, it doesn't seem to have a lot of replay value. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future reviews or posts, or you would like to review something for The Canon Review (it can literally be anything you want to talk about), than e-mail me your ideas and or complaints at KtheC2001@gmail.com. I'll try to post something later tonight, to make up for yesterday's activity, so for the 4 to 7 people that read this blog, be prepared.

Canon Video Game Review: Rollerblade Racer (NES)

First of all, this isn't the review I had in mind. See, I wanted to do a review of Stadium Events for the NES because, if you haven't heard. copies of this game have been selling for a ridiculous amount of money. I tried playing it, but I never could start an event because the controls are just too different than what I have my emulator controller set up for. But that's okay, because instead I played something that was even better. Oh yes, because after digging deep into my ROM Collection, I came up with Rollerblade Racer, a game that originally came out for the Nintendo in February of 1993. I'm sure after people played this game, they decided it was time to trade up systems and get a Sega Genesis or Super Nintendo because man, this game is bad.

First of all, let's look at the cover (photo courtesy of theoldcomputer.com). All I can say is that it definitely is a product of it's time. From the background, to the neon green roller blade straps and pants, to that girl's jacket, it screams early 1990s. This game promises the "most radical race on wheels" which covers a lot of ground. After all, there are many car races, motorcycle races, bicycle races, probably even wheelbarrow races. Do they really have the gall to say that his game is the most radical race on wheels? That's a heck of a boast, one that I feel there's no chance on earth they deliver on.

Enough about the cover, let's talk about the game. Our hero is a boy named Kirk. Kirk just got new roller blades, and he wants to qualify for the Ultimate Rollerblade Challenge or whatever. Kirk has decided that he wants to wear a pink shirt for whatever reason. Well if he can handle it, than so can I. Anyway, Kirk needs your help to qualify, as he needs 5,000 points to qualify for Rollerbladeamania. In order to get points, you have to skate through four areas, Kirk's neighborhood, the city, the beach, and the park. As to who put this challenge together, that is a mystery left to your imagination.

So, the game starts in Kirk's neighborhood, and the game looks an awful lot like Paperboy. The controls are pretty simple, you use the d-pad to go left, right, or up, you jump with a and duck with b. The only reason to duck is so you can maintain speed, or you can duck and then jump to perform a spinning jump that is nearly impossible to land. Kirk lives on a road that needs to be paved and has a lot of dogs and open potholes, but that's okay, because Kirk long jumps like Carl Lewis on steroids. Really, all you have to do is jump a lot and hope you don't land on anything that can impede your progress or cause a fall. If you fall too much, you will have to start over. Qualifying for the Ultimate Challenge is pretty easy, as I did it on more than one occasion after the first bonus stage. But damn it, you have to do all the levels anyway. Well, that sucks. I played it a few times, but never got past the beach stage, even though I had technically fulfilled my end of the bargain by qualifying.

I don't know how much this game cost when it was first released, but I hope it wasn't more than 5 dollars, because anything else would be a ripoff. If your skilled enough, you can get through the entire game in less than 20 minutes, easily. Plus, there's no multiplayer, no hidden secret levels or anything else like that. All there is are the five levels, and the quick "Bonus" levels in between. I know it was a different time, but there were literally hundreds of games that were more in-depth than this, and there are probably a thousand flash games out there today that have more levels and are more replayable than this, and those games are free of charge. The graphics are a lot similar to Paperboy, to the point where I wonder if there was a lawsuit considered. The soundtrack is the same song over and over again, and sounds like a low-rent version of a song that would have been rejected by the makers of Final Fantasy. Overall, I'll give this game a 1.74 out of 10. There's not a lot to this game, and what's in this game isn't all that good.

So, there you have it. Tomorrow I will review Jay Leno's one and only wrestling match, along with the rest of Road Wild 1998. That should be three hours that I'll never get back and would probably be better spent elsewhere, but nevertheless. If you have any future review ideas or whatever, than send them along to me at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Until next time, stay rad everyone.