Sunday, February 27, 2011

Canon Movie Review: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Since the Oscars are going to be awarded later on today, I figured I'd watch an Oscar Best Picture winner. So I decided to watch the 1975 classic One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, mainly because it was on Turner Classic Movies and I had never seen it before. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest was one of only three movies to win the Oscar for best picture, best director (Milos Forman), best actor (Jack Nicholson), best actress (Louise Fletcher) and best adapted screenplay. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is based on a book by Ken Kesey, and stars Nicholson, Fletcher, William Redfield, Danny DeVito, Christopher Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Brad Dourif, and Will Sampson as Chief. In this movie, a criminal named R.P. McMurphy (Nicholson) fakes his way into getting transferred from a prison work-farm into an insane asylum, figuring that he would have an easier time in the asylum. Instead he runs into a cold and seemingly heartless woman in Nurse Ratched (Fletcher), and McMurphy's new goal seems to be to free his fellows in the ward like Chief, Billy Bibbit (Dourif), Martini (DeVito), and the rest from the control of Ratched. A few notes about this movie, and there will probably be SPOILERS, so read carefully.

- As R.P. McMurphy, Jack Nicholson put in perhaps the finest performance of his distinguished career. As McMurphy, Nicholson is not only able to portray the rebellious, optomistic dimension of McMurphy, but is also able to subtly portray how the asylum and the people in it have changed McMurphy as the film progresses.  There's a great scene towards the end of the film, after McMurphy is just about to break out of the place, where he sits back and seemingly comes to the realization that this place has changed him and he will never be the same. In this scene, Nicholson's face expresses amusement, fear, and even a bit of sadness over leaving this place and his fellow inmates behind, all without saying a word. Just an excellent performance all around from Nicholson here from beginning to end, and I can't see anybody else being able to portray R.P. McMurphy as well as Nicholson did here.

- There were a few other actors considered for the role of McMurphy besides Nicholson. Kirk Douglas had actually portrayed McMurphy in a play based on the book years ago and really wanted to take the story to the big screen, but by the time the movie was to be made, Douglas was considered to be too old for the part. Interestingly enough, his son Michael was one of the executive producers, but at the time he was filming the TV show Streets of San Francisco, and to the best of my knowledge never really considered taking the part for himself. Other actors considered were James Caan, Marlon Brando (note: if Kirk Douglas was considered too old for the part, wouldn't Brando also be too old for the part as well), Gene Hackman, and Burt Reynolds. Maybe it's just me, but I have a hard time seeing Reynolds and Caan as the lead in this movie. Nothing against those actors, but the role seems a bit different than the roles that those men usually excel at. Also, there were many actresses considered for the role of Nurse Ratched, including Angela Lansbury, Anne Bancroft, Geraldine Page, and Ellen Burstyn. Lily Tomlin was originally cast in the role, but turned it down to star in the Robert Altman film, Nashville. In an odd twist, Tomlin took the role in Nashville that was orginally meant for Louise Fletcher, who then was later cast as Nurse Ratched. At the end of the day, both actresses were nominated for Academy Awards (Tomlin for best supporting actress) with Fletcher eventually winning best actress.

- Speaking of Nurse Ratched, Fletcher definitely deserved her Oscar with her performance of the cold-hearted nurse. Ratched is almost the polar-opposite of McMurphy, as while McMurphy is an outgoing, rambunctious guy who seems to crave change, Ratched is a distant, nearly emotionless figure who is very scrict about routine. When McMurphy threatens the control of the ward that Ratched has cultivated over time, Ratched seems to become determined to break McMurphy, even calling for him to stay in the ward when other asylum officials were willing to send McMurphy on his way. By breaking McMurphy, Ratched can increase her control over the rest of the inmates in the ward, and that control is seemingly the only thing that she really cares about. Basically, the story paints Nurse Ratched as the evil, cold-hearted face of the establishment who controls the people for 'their own good'. In a lot of ways, Fletcher is portraying a symbol more than she is a character, but to her credit she does a great job of making Nurse Ratched human, who does what she does not just to be evil, but because ultimately she thinks it's right.

- Although One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest won a lot of Oscars and considered one of the great films of all time, one person in particular didn't care for it too much. That person was the author of the book, Ken Kesey. Kesey disagreed with the direction that director Milos Forman took the film in. For one, while Chief is a major focal point of the book and serves as the narrator of the story, in the movie the Chief is mainly a background character up until the end of the film. Also, Kesey didn't feel that Forman included much of the subtext of the novel, including the political undertones of the asylum as communist Russia. As a result, Kesey refused to have anything to do with the film, and has never even bothered to watch the movie.

- As far as Forman's directing goes, I thought that for the most part he did an excellent job. The story was paced just right, as it neither moved too fast nor were there a lot of wasted scenes in the film. Forman also plays to the strengths of his actors and lets Nicholson and company tell the story, instead of relying on camera tricks and other effects to increase drama. Forman also includes a lot of reaction shots, primarily from Nicholson and Fletcher, that serve to further develop each character. If there was one misfire in this film, it was the inclusion of the fishing boat scene. Yes, it did serve to give the inmates a slight taste of freedom and increase their regard for McMurphy, but it went on too long and seemed forced in just to lighten the mood after being in the asylum for so long. As a result, it's a jarring departure from the main storyline of the film and there's really too much going on at once.

- To increase the realism of the film, the producers decided to make the setting an actual insane asylum, the Oregon State Hospital in Salem, Oregon. Also, some of the actual asylum detainees were extras in the film, and the part of asylum head Dr. Spivey was played by the head of the state hospital, Dean Brooks. The actors were also forced to stay in the asylum during the entire filming process. As a result, some of the actors began to exhibit the early stages of paranoia and other mental illnesses. But I will say, it did add a lot of realism to the film.

Overall, this is a great film, and there's very little bad to be said about it. The acting from Nicholson on down was tremendous and spot-on, the story was compelling, and the direction of Forman was nearly perfect. I'd give this film a 9.1 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Canon Movie Review: The Matrix Revolutions

Here is a review of a movie I refused to see in theaters after being so disappointed in the film's predecessor, Matrix Reloaded, although I did see it later on DVD. However, that was like five years ago, so I decided to give The Matrix Revolutions another chance because, honestly, I really didn't remember a lot about it. Anyway, The Matrix Revolutions is the final film of the Matrix Trilogy. Released in 2003, the movie was written and directed by the Wachowski Brothers (although now one of them is technically a sister, but that's not relevant here) and stars Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Hugo Weaving, and a whole lot of other people. In The Matrix Revolutions, Neo (Reeves) and his girl Trinity (Moss) choose to stop the evil that is agent Smith (Weaving), who seems hell-bent on destroying everything in its path, while everyone else retreats to the great city of Zion to defend the town against the invading machines that control the Matrix. A few notes about this film, and there will be SPOILERS, so if you haven't seen the movie, read carefully.

- What's strange about The Matrix Revolutions is that hardly any of the film takes place in the actual Matrix itself. About 85 percent of the movie takes place in the 'real' world controlled by machines, most of it either concentrated on the machines' attack of the dock of Zion or Niobe (Pinkett-Smith) and Morpheus' (Fishburne) attempt to sneak their ship into Zion through a mechanical line. As a result, this film is probably the least impressive of the three Matrix films as far as action is concerned, and unfortunately, the story is not nearly compelling enough to make up the deficit.

- In the original Matrix movie, the plot revolved almost entirely around Neo, Trinity, and Morpheus. In the second film, it was pretty much more of the same. However, in The Matrix Revolutions, Morpheus and Trinity take a major step back, as all Morpheus does for the most part is co-pilot Niobe's ship and sit back while everybody else goes to war, and Trinity is merely a supporting player in Neo's flight to the machine city. Even Neo is not immune from this shift, as he goes at least 45 minutes straight without being featured in a scene. Instead of focusing on the characters we all know, the Wachowski brothers focused large amounts of screen time on such characters as Sati, Captain Mifune, and the Kid (yes, that's what he was credited as), characters that either serve no purpose (Sati) or we have no idea who they are, so we really don't care what happens to them.

- For all the talk about how philosophically deep The Matrix trilogy is, this movie bludgeons the viewer over the head in explaining it's underlying themes. Neo is presented as a Christ-like savior, as a lot of the dialogue is spent on characters either expressing faith in Neo as the 'Chosen One' or people doubting that he is what he's supposedly proclaimed to be, and the film even has Neo assume a cross-like pose towards the end of the movie. Also, every character in the first thirty minutes or so just can't help but mention that Neo and Trinity are so in love with each other that they'd die for each other, and Agent Smith spends most of his screen time mocking human emotions such as love. There's also a lot of allusions to the importance of choice and free-will, as the Oracle spends most of her time in this movie telling characters to make their own decisions.

- Even though this movie seems to try it's hardest not to let their best actors shine, there are a couple of highlights to speak of. Weaving as Agent Smith is just as evil and compelling as ever, although after a while his ad naseum talk of the inferiority of humans becomes a little tiresome. Also a highlight is Ian Bliss as Bane, the soilder who is taken over by Agent Smith in the real world. Bliss does a nearly spot-on impression of Weaving, and seems even more menacing in doing it. What's interesting about Bane's metamorphasis into Smith is that it takes forever for Neo to realize what's actually happened. You would think he would get after the sixth time Bane calls him Mr. Anderson, but not our man Neo. As far as Reeves' performance, it was about what you would expect.

- As I mentioned before, the action sequences in the Matrix Revolutions were the weakest of the three Matrix movies. The shootout with Trinity and company at the Merovingian's nightclub was poorly-lit and the camera shook so much that you couldn't tell what was going on. Meanwhile, the climatic fight scene between Smith and Neo looked cool, but basically followed the same pattern for 15 minutes (exchange of strikes, big punch that knocks both men back and causes an earthquake, flying towards each other, repeat). The best action scenes were probably the scenes where the machines come in to Zion's walls and meet resistance by these giant robot looking crafts with machine guns called APUs, although it kind of lost its luster after 20 minutes or so.

- Before I conclude this review, I want to talk about the ending, which although it's presented as happy and all seems to leave the humans back at square one. Yes, Smith is dead, but so is their Chosen One and while the machines retreated from Zion due to Neo's actions in getting rid of Smith, they still not only killed lots of people and destroyed a huge chunk of Zion, but also still have the majority of humans plugged into the Matrix and still harvest them for energy. However, it does somewhat leave the door open for a sequal when the Oracle mentiones to Sati that perhaps we will see Neo again (even though I don't see how that's possible).

Overall, I will say that I liked this movie more than The Matrix Reloaded. Then again, that's damning with faint praise since I strongly dislike Reloaded. Both movies would have probably been better as one movie and at least half the scenes in each movie could have been cut out, but sometimes art is sacrificed for profits, and this is the case here. As far as Revolutions goes, the main problems were that it decided to shift the focus away from the characters so vital to the Matrix franchise and center large parts of the story around characters which they really didn't even bother explaining their importance to the story. Plus, the whole idea of the humans and machines somehow teaming up to save the world flies against the original notion of the series, which was basically man vs. machine, and really makes the machines' attack on Zion seem like a waste of energy in retrospect. The action scenes were hit-or-miss, the acting was decent at best, and the film was as subtle as a sledgehammer. Overall, it's not the worst sequel ever, but it's not all that great either. I'd give it a 4 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Canon Movie Review: The Brothers Grimm

The Brothers Grimm is a 2005 film that was directed by Terry Gilliam and stars Matt Damon and Heath Ledger as the titular brothers. The Brothers Grimm also stars Lena Heady, Peter Stormare, Jonathan Pryce, and Monica Bellucci. In this film, brothers Will (Damon) and Jake (Ledger) are paranormal investigators who pull off elaborate hoaxes of legends to fool villagers in 18th century Germany. However, the French capture the Grimm brothers, and force them to investigate the disappearance of many young girls in an enchanted forest of a small French village. They receive some assistance from a villager named Angelika (Headey), who knows the forest better than anyone and also has a personal stake in this, as two of her sisters were amongst the girls abducted. As it turns out, the forest is enchanted, and the girls are being used in a spell to restore the youth of a 500 year-old queen (Bellucci) who wants to regain her beauty and rule the land again. So, it's up to the Grimm brothers to save the day. A few notes about this film, and there are SPOILERS, so read carefully.

-  This film wastes very little time before diving right in to the story. There's a quick scene at the beginning where a young Jake buys magic beans to cure their sick sister, and Will gets angry and fights him because of it. All of a sudden, the film moves to the future and the Grimms are trying to catch a witch. Other than that one scene that shows Jacob as a believer in folklore and Will as a realist, there isn't exactly a lot of depth to the Grimm brothers' characters. Will's just a generic dashing womanizer type character, while Jacob is your typical bookworm type who's always in Will's shadow. Also, while I like both Damon and Ledger, there seems to be something a little off about their performance. In my view, I think the movie may have been better had they switched roles, as they were originally slated to do.

- The Brothers Grimm is about a pair of German brothers and set primarily in France. So naturally it would make sense that Stormare (who played Cavaldi, the person assigned to keep the Grimms in check) to speak in an Italian accent while Ledger, Damon, and Heady all adapted British accents. Oh wait, that doesn't make sense at all. My fault.

- It may have been just me, but I thought that Will was kind of a jerk throughout the whole movie. He's constantly berating his brother for having his head in the clouds, refuses to believe that anything in the forest could be enchanted, tries to woo Angelika while a) knowing that Jake has feelings for her and b) doing so just seconds after kicking Jake out of the room, and generally acts as if he's somehow above everyone else. Even in the scene where he expresses concern about watching over Jake, it comes off as if Will thinks that Jake is too stupid to live without him. I don't know, I just really didn't dig Will as a character at all.

- Even though The Brothers Grimm features an original story, the story does heavily borrow some elements made famous by the tales of the actual Grimm Brothers. There's references to Little Red Riding Hood, Hansel & Gretal, Snow White, and other tales, and I found it somewhat interesting how the writers were able to blend all these pieces into the narrative. Or at least attempted to, as the actual plot itself was decent at best with many holes and a lot of unexplained elements to the tale.

- Even though I've been mostly negative about this movie thus far, I will say that The Brothers Grimm looked great. The enchanted forest setting in particular was a highlight of the film, along with its trees with extending vines and the queen's large castle in the middle. Gilliam is a master of creating larger than life worlds in some of his movies, and this is no exception. Also of note is the costuming and the cinematography, which was done quite well despite the fact there were two different cinematographers hired for the role.

- A story almost more interesting than the movie itself was the behind-the-scenes machinations of The Brothers Grimm. The film was delayed due to a lack of financial backing, then MGM decided not to distribute the film, so the Weinsten brothers over at Dimension films stepped in as distributors. They also drove Gilliam crazy with their constant suggestions, and the two sides developed a rift that not only delayed the release of the shooting, but really did a number on the film itself. In Gilliam's own words: [I]t's not the film they wanted and it's not quite the film I wanted. It's the film that is a result of [...] two groups of people, who aren’t working well together." Really sums it up right there, doesn't it.

At the end of the day, The Brothers Grimm is the result of having too many cooks in the kitchen, and as such is a directionless film that isn't funny enough to be a comedy, scary enough to be a suspense film, and epic enough to be a true fantasy film. It's also too violent to be a kids movie, yet too hokey to be an epic drama. There are some positives to The Brothers Grimm, but overall this movie is less than the sum of its parts. One only wonders what Gilliam would have done had he not felt so compromised, but it is what it is. Overall, I'd give this film a 4.6 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.


Monday, February 21, 2011

Your Canon Review 2010-11 NBA Preview Midseason Review

With the NBA on its annual All-Star break, I figured it would be a good time to look back at the predictions I made back in October and see just how well I've done in predicting the 2010-11 NBA season up to this point. My guess is, not that well, but I guess we'll see. If you want, you can see my predictions at this page right here.

Eastern Conference (Conference Rank in parentheses)

Atlantic Division:

Predictions:                                Current Record:
1. Boston Celtics (3)             1. Boston Celtics (1)- 40-14
2. New York Knicks (7)        2. New York Knicks (6)- 28-26
3. New Jersey Nets (11)       3. Philadelphia 76ers (7)- 27-29
4. Philadelphia 76ers (12)     4. New Jersey Nets (12)- 17-40
5. Toronto Raptors (15)        5. Toronto Raptors (14)- 15-41

The Celtics may be a bit long in the tooth, but the NBA's best defensive team is chugging right along with the East's best record and four All-Stars (SF Paul Pierce, PG Rajon Rondo, SG Ray Allen, and PF Kevin Garnett). The addition of PF Amare Stoudemire has brought the Knicks back to respectability and should lead to their first playoff birth in seven years. How far the Knicks go may depend on whether they acquire SF Carmelo Anthony before the trade deadline and whether Amare's knees hold up, but even with Carmelo, it's hard to see the Knicks advancing past the second round. The 76ers have been somewhat of a surprise this year, as they've played really well as of late. With an excellent core of young players led by PG Jrue Holliday, the 76ers seem to have a bright future, although they're still likely a year away from seriously contending in the East. The Nets have seemingly concentrated all their efforts in trying to get Carmelo Anthony. As a result, this has been a lost season for the Nets. The Raptors should have a lot of room under the salary cap, so that's something.

Central Division:

1. Chicago Bulls (4)            1. Chicago Bulls (3)- 38-16
2. Milwaukee Bucks (6)      2. Indiana Pacers (8)- 24-30
3. Indiana Pacers (8)            3. Milwaukee Bucks (10)- 21-34
4. Cleveland Cavaliers (13) 4. Detroit Pistons (11)- 21-36
5. Detroit Pistons (14)       5. Cleveland Cavaliers (15)- 10-46

I expected the Bulls to be pretty good this year, but they've been better than I expected and are look to be legitimate NBA Title contenders. With PG Derrick Rose making the leap to superstardom, the Bulls have a 38-16 record despite missing PF Carlos Boozer and C Joaqium Noah for long periods due to injury. With Noah coming back after the All-Star Break, the Bulls will finally be able to field their whole team, a scary thought for their opponents. The Pacers seem to have found new life under interim coach Frank Vogel. Whether that lasts remains to be seen, but the Pacers really need C Roy Hibbert to become more consistent. The Bucks have taken a big step backwards and are the most disappointing team in the NBA, even with the strong defensive play of C Andrew Bogut. A lack of scoring (the Bucks are the lowest scoring and worst shooting team in the NBA) has been the main problem, and unless PG Brandon Jennings can develop into more of an offensive threat in the second half, the Bucks will struggle to make the postseason. The Pistons have an outside shot at the playoffs, as long as rookie PF Greg Monroe continues to develop. But the Pistons are also looking to trade SF Tayshaun Prince and SG Richard Hamilton, so chances are they're playing for next year. When LeBron James left Cleveland during the offseason, most experts expected the Cavaliers to struggle, and in that regards the Cavaliers haven't disappointed, embarking on a 26 game losing streak at one point this season. The good news is, there's nowhere to go but up for the Cavs.

Southeast Division:

1. Miami Heat (1)              1. Miami Heat (2)- 41-15
2. Orlando Magic (2)         2. Orlando Magic (4)-  36-21
3. Atlanta Hawks (5)          3. Atlanta Hawks (5)- 34-21
4. Washington Wizards (9) 4. Charlotte Bobcats (9)- 24-32
5. Charlotte Bobcats (10) 5. Washington Wizards (13)- 15-39

At the beginning of the season, some were saying that the Miami Heat would challenge the 1995-96 Chicago Bulls 72-10 record. Well, that was a bit of an overstatement. Nevertheless, the Heat are still top contenders to the NBA title, even if they're not head and shoulders above the league. The Magic made two huge trades during the season to acquire SF Hedo Turkoglu, SG Jason Ricahrdson, and PG Gilbert Arenas. While the trades have made Orlando a more dangerous team on offense, they also left the frontline thin, as C Dwight Howard is putting in a lot of minutes. Orlando still can make a title run, provided that Howard isn't completely worn out come playoff time. The Hawks are equally capable of thrilling and frustrating their fans. Even though they have a new coach in Larry Drew, the Hawks have basically the same strengths and weaknesses as last year's team, and it's hard to see them getting past the second round of the playoffs. The Bobcats have a winning record since Paul Silas took over as coach and have a good chance to make the playoffs for the second straight year. They have no chance of getting out of the first round though, despite the best efforts of PF Gerald Wallace. I thought the Wizards would do better than they have this season, as the Wizards seem to have a lot of trouble winning road games. The Wizards are going to go as far as PG John Wall will take them, and despite his talent, he's had some growing pains this season, making the Wizards a very inconsistent team.

Western Conference:
Southwest Division:

1. Dallas Mavericks (3)      1. San Antonio Spurs (1)- 46-10
2. San Antonio Spurs (6)     2. Dallas Mavericks (2)- 40-16
3. Houston Rockets (7)     3. New Orleans Hornets (6)- 33-25
4. New Orleans Hornets (8) 4. Memphis Grizzlies (8)- 31-26
5. Memphis Grizzlies (12)    5. Houston Rockets (12)- 26-31

At the beginning of the season, I thought that the Spurs were a bit over the hill and that while they would have a good season, it wouldn't be a great season. Well here we are at the All-Star Break and San Antonio has the best record in the league, and SG Manu Ginobili has never been better. Even though PF Tim Duncan has lost a step, the Spurs are very much in the Championship hunt. The Mavericks have received a big boost from the newly acquired C Tyson Chandler, and PF Dirk Nowitzki is his usual excellent self. The Mavs' have the pieces to make a title run, especially now that PG Roderique Beaubois is back from injury. PG Chris Paul and PF David West have powered the Hornets to a good start, and as long as they stay healthy, the Hornets should return to the playoffs after a one-year absence. The Grizzlies are getting the job done despite SG O.J. Mayo taking a step back. However, with SF Rudy Gay out for a month due to an injured shoulder, odds are that the Grizzlies will not be able to hold on to their current position of 8th in the Western Conference. The Rockets are a good team that would probably coast to a playoff berth in the Eastern Conference, but despite the play of SG Kevin Martin and PF Luis Scola, the Rockets look like a team that will be on the golf course instead of in the playoffs come April.


Northwest Division:
1. Oklahoma City Thunder (1) 1. Ok. City Thunder (4)- 35-19
2. Utah Jazz (4)                 2. Portland Trailblazers (5)- 32-24
3. Denver Nuggets (5)                3. Denver Nuggets (7)- 32-25
4. Portland Trailblazers (10)       4. Utah Jazz (8)- 31-26
5. Minnesota Timberwolves (15) 5. Minnesota T'wolves (15)- 13-43

I predicted the Oklahoma City Thunder to finish with the Western Conference's best record during my NBA Preview, and I think I was a bit hasty and proclaiming them an elite team. That being said, the Thunder are still a very good team who could make some noise in the playoffs, but might need another piece or more time before becoming a legitimate NBA contender. Portland's had a lot of injury troubles this year, as C Marcus Camby and SG Brandon Roy have both missed large chunks of the season. However, the 'Blazers are still winning as PF LaMarcus Aldridge is having his best season yet and SG Wes Matthews is actually proving to be worth the big money contract he signed during the offseason. It's hard to predict the future for the Nuggets until the Carmelo Anthony situation is resolved, as there's no telling what the Nuggets roster will look like come Thursday (the day of the NBA trade deadline). The resignation of Jazz coach Jerry Sloan sent shockwaves throughout the NBA universe, and the Jazz haven't played well since Tyrone Corbin took over. The Jazz have enough talent to make the playoffs, but whether PG Deron Williams and company can pull it together remains to be seen. The Minnesota Timberwolves should thank God every day that they have PF Kevin Love, as without him this team would be dreadful. Well, more dreadful than they already are. At least they're not the Cavs.

Pacific Division:

1. Los Angeles Lakers (2)    1. Los Angeles Lakers (3)- 38-19
2. Phoenix Suns (9)                  2. Phoenix Suns (10)- 27-27
3. Los Angeles Clippers (11) 3. G'State Warriors (11)- 26-29
4. Sacramento Kings (13)   4. L.A. Clippers (13)- 21-35
5. Golden State Warriors (14) 5. Sacramento Kings (14)- 13-40

The Lakers got off to a hot start, but recent struggles have caused some panic for the defending champs. As long as SG Kobe Bryant, C Pau Gasol, and PF Lamar Odom are healthy, the Lakers still have to be among the favorites for the NBA title, not matter how poorly SF Ron Artest is playing. The Suns seem to be playing better as of late, and as long as PG Steve Nash is healthy, the Suns should contend for a playoff berth. The Warriors have an outside shot at making the playoffs this year, but they're going to need PF David Lee to step up his game to go with the stellar play of Gs Monta Ellis and Stephon Curry if they want to make the postseason. The Clippers have the most exciting rookie in years in PF Blake Griffin and a budding star in SG Eric Gordon, which makes for a solid foundation to build upon. They won't make any noise this year, but they should be a factor in the postseason picture next year. Then again, it is the Clippers so who knows what will happen. The Kings have an awfully young team, and as such have made a lot of mistakes that a young team tends to make.

MVP:
Preseason Picks: 

1. Kevin Durant, F, Thunder (28.9 points per game, 7.0 rebounds per game)
2. LeBron James, F, Heat (26.1 ppg, 7.4 rpg, 7.3 assists per game, 1.6 steals per game)
3. Kobe Bryant, G, Lakers (25.4 ppg, 5.4 rpg, 4.8 apg)
Dark Horse: Dwight Howard, C, Magic (22.8 ppg, 13.8 rpg, 2.1 blocks per game)

Midseason Picks:

1. James 
2. Derrick Rose, G, Chicago Bulls (24.9 ppg, 8.2 apg)
3. Howard
4. Chris Paul, G, New Orleans Hornets (16.2 ppg, 9.6 apg, 2.5 spg)

The game's biggest star, James has brought his talents to South Beach and is every bit the player he was in Cleveland. Durant leads the NBA in scoring and has a chance to win the MVP, but there are other candidates with better cases than him. One of which is Derrick Rose, who has stepped up his game this season and has the Bulls off to a great start despite injuries to his two best teammates, Carlos Boozer and Joakim Noah. Kobe Bryant has been his usual stellar self, although the Lakers recent struggles have taken him out of the MVP picture for now. Howard is the game's best big man, and without his considerable talents the Magic would struggle to make the playoffs. Even though he leads the league in steals, Chris Paul doesn't have the best numbers, but he is the heart and soul of the New Orleans Hornets, and without his play the Hornets would be amongst the Timberwolves and Kings at the bottom of the standings.

Defensive Player of the Year:
Preseason Picks:
1. Howard, C, Magic
2. James, F, Heat
3. Joakim Noah, C, Bulls (24 games played, 11.7 rpg)
Dark Horse: John Wall, G, Wizards (1.7 spg)

Midseason Picks:
1. Howard
2. Rajon Rondo, G, Celtics (2.4 spg)
3. Andrew Bogut, C, Bucks, (2.8 bpg, 11.5 rpg)
4. James

Howard has won the past two Defensive POY Awards, and I see no reason why he shouldn't win his third straight award. As for the other contenders, Rondo has become one of the best, if not the best, on-ball defenders in the NBA, while Bougt is the NBA's leading shot blocker and James continues to reek havoc on the defensive end for the Heat. Noah has missed too many games due to injury to be considered for the award, while I was a little too high about John Wall's defense at this point in his career. To his credit, he would rank in the top 10 in steals per game if he played enough games to qualify.

Rookie of the Year
Preseason Picks:
1. Blake Griffin, F, Clippers (22.8 ppg, 12.6 rpg)
2. John Wall, G, Wizards (15.0 ppg, 8.9 apg)
3. DeMarcus Cousins, F/C, Kings (14.0 ppg, 8.3 rpg)
Dark Horse: Tiago Splitter, C, Spurs (4.1 ppg. 2.7 rpg)

Midseason Picks:
1. Griffin
2. Wall
3. Landry Fields, F, Knicks (10.1 ppg, 7.1 rpg)
4. Greg Monroe, F/C, Pistons (7.4 ppg, 6.4 rpg)

Blake Griffin has been so impressive and is so far ahead of the field that he could take the rest of the season off and win this award in a landslide. The only issue left to settle is who's second. Wall is 7th in the NBA in assists per game, but turns the ball over a bit too much for the Wizards' liking. Fields has been a surprise as the second round pick has started every game for the Knicks and played well. Monroe started slow, but has really come on as of late. Cousins has good numbers and has shown signs of brilliance, but he has also displayed some of the attitude problems that many experts feared he would show, and is awfully inconsistent. Splitter has no shot at this award as he doesn't play nearly enough minutes to make an impact for the Spurs.

NBA Finals Prediction: Heat over Lakers in 6 

As of late, I've made a trend out of changing my picks in the middle of the season, only to have those same picks come true at the end and making me look like a fool for changing my mind. So, even though I'm not really sold on either team's chances (although I do still think that the Heat will win, it's the Lakers getting out of the West that seems unlikely to me), I'm going to stick with my original selection. However, the Celtics, Bulls, Spurs, Mavericks, and maybe even the Magic have good enough teams to win it all this year. But at the end of the day, I still expect LeBron, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh to carry the Heat to the title.

Well, thanks for reading the Canon Review NBA Preview Midseason Review. Remember, if you have an idea for a future review, or thoughts about this post, than share those ideas either by leaving a comment or sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.  

Friday, February 18, 2011

Canon MST3K Review: Parts: The Clonus Horror

Episode 811 of Mystery Science Theater 3000 featured the 1979 movie Parts: The Clonus Horror. Directed by Robert Fiveson, who did not direct another feature film before or since, Parts: The Clonus Horror stars Peter Graves, Dick Sargent (Bewitched), Keenan Wynn (Nashville, Dr. Strangelove), and Tim Donnelly (Emergency!). In this film, a group of scientists run a clone farm known as Clonus, in which the clones are brainwashed and are put through numerous exercises in order to keep in shape. When the time is right, the clones are eventually chosen to be sent to the great land known as America. In actuality, the clones are killed off and harvested for organs so that those fortunate enough to be cloned (i.e. rich white people) can live longer. However, a clone named Richard (Donnelly) discovers an empty Old Milwaukee beer can in the river and starts to get curious about where this great beer can came from. Also, Richard meets up with a girl named Lena, and they both have some tag implanted in their ears which I guess signifies that they haven't been lobotomized, although judging by the blank stares on their faces for most of the movie you sure couldn't tell. Anyway, a few notes about this movie, and there are SPOILERS about this and possibly another film, so read carefully.

- The film's biggest star is probably Peter Graves, and to say that he phoned in his performance would be too kind. According to IMDB.com, Graves did all of his scenes in one day, and after seeing this movie I definitely believe that. Graves plays a presidential candidate named Jeff Knight who makes an appearance at the beginning of the movie then disappears for an hour, only to come back as one of the head men behind Clonus. Not only that, but he's a client, as he had a heart transplant two years prior to the events of this film. Say what you want about the moral implications of Clonus, it is successful, provided of course that you have the money to have a clone.

- The men behind Clonus may know a lot about cloning, but they sure as hell don't know anything about security. When Richard attempts his breakout into America, he is not only able to get into a room with highly confidential material because the door was wide open, but he has time to dig through all the files and even watch half of a video tape while he's at it. Then when he makes his run for it, the guards chasing him only land a glancing blow to the arm despite firing multiple shots, and then for the grand finale, Richard is able to climb over a four-foot fence at the edge of the grounds into 'America'. Um, not to judge or anything, but shouldn't they have built a bigger fence? While they're at it, they could have put barbed wire around it or electrified it or something instead of putting up a fence even Hornswoggle can climb with ease.

- I must applaud the producers for their use of product placement in this film. Not only was there Old Milwaukee mentioned in the film, but the entire student body of Clonus were decked out in Adidas gear. Heck, the beginning of the film might as well been an Adidas commercial as there are countless shots of people running and biking and coaches barking orders all while wearing Adidas clothing. Of course, in the final credits the company name was misspelled as Addidas, but I'm sure everyone got the idea.

- The strangest part of this movie was probably all the clones being drained of blood and stored in vac-dry bags, but a close second would be what took place after Richard broke out and met up with his clone (who just happened to be Senator Knight's brother Richard). After Richard the original leaves the room, his son Rick tries to put the clone at ease and offers him some clothes, but with all the touching and massaging you would think he was trying to seduce him or something. A few minutes later, Richard tries to run out, but Rick catches him, and he ends up just holding the clone against the car while seemingly looking longingly in his eyes. I almost thought they were going to start making out right then and there. Personally, I chalk that one up to bad acting as the actor that played Rick never had another role in anything since, but if they were really trying to put in a homosexual subtext in those scenes then that would just be weird. Not because of the male being attracted to another male part, but rather that the man was attracted to a clone OF HIS OWN FATHER. I mean, that's some Freudian stuff right there. Then again, I may be too tired and just reading too much into some bad acting.

- While Parts: The Clonus Horror wasn't a popular or well-received film, it did have one fan in particular, a Michael Bay. Bay liked the movie so much that he made his own version of it, the 2005 film The Island. This did not sit well with the Clonus producers, so they sued Bay and Dreamworks Entertainment for copyright infringement, citing over 100 similarities between the two films. Personally, I've never seen The Island, and now that I've seen Parts: The Clonus Horror, I guess I don't have to.

- Normally, the host segments in MST3K are some of the best parts of any episode. In this episode, that wasn't really the case, as each segment had Pearl and her gang of misfits entertaining some evil orphan children from space. At first, it was kind of funny, but after the fourth segment or so it just got old. Except for the part where the one kid played by Mike kept throwing balls at Bobo's crotch. I must say that was pretty funny.

- In 1979, short shorts were the style, and this movie had a lot of short shorts. This was not a good thing for the most part, and reached ridiculous proportions once they had Peter Graves sitting down in some mid-thigh shorts. I did not care for that at all.

Overall, Parts, The Clonus Horror actually didn't seem like too bad a concept on paper. However, it's execution is lacking as the movie suffered from poor pacing (You could skip the first 45 minutes or so and not really miss anything important) and a lack of acting talent. Perhaps a more experienced director and crew could have made Parts: The Clonus Horror a good movie that makes the viewer think about such issues like the morality of cloning and the rich-poor themes illustrated in this film, but instead the film comes across as a mediocre sci-fi film that looks like a TV movie of the week. Overall, I'd give the movie a 3 out of 10, and the episode a 5.5 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Denver Broncos vs. Green Bay Packers, October 10, 1993

The final game of The Canon Review Football Fix Weekend (and yes, I know it's not the weekend anymore, but due to connectivity issues this post was delayed a day) features two of the greatest quarterbacks of all time playing in a week 6 game from 1993 as John Elway led the Denver Broncos against Brett Favre's Green Bay Packers. The Packers got out to a quick 17-0 lead, then went into halftime leading 30-7. But John Elway and the Broncos wouldn't go away, as the Broncos got within three points before finally falling to the Pack 30-27. A few notes about this game.

- Back in 1993, Brett Favre wasn't a quarterback revered by the media for his gunslinging ways and 'playing like a kid out there'. Instead he was a talented young quarterback who had trouble handling the blitz and sometimes moved too fast for his own good. In this game, Favre was rahter inconsistent. In the first half, Favre was great, constantly finding the open man and throwing a 66 yard touchdown to tight end Jackie Harris. In the second half, Favre didn't do so well, as he threw three interceptions, one of which was returned for a touchdown by Denver LB Mike Croel (and probably shouldn't have counted as the receiver was clearly interfered with). One pick was really bad in particular, as Favre panicked on a safety blitz and threw a wobbling duck in the air that landed in the hands of CB Le-Lo Lang that gave the ball back to the Broncos on the Green Bay 43 with just over two minutes left. I mean, as soon as Favre let go of the ball, I knew exactly what was going to happen. To be fair to Favre, he didn't have any help at all from his running game (Favre had his team's longest run with a 17 yard scamper in the first quarter), so the Broncos pretty much played the pass for most of the second half because they knew Green Bay couldn't run on them, so that may have contributed to Favre's poor second half. Also, it was refreshing to watch a game with Brett Favre in it where the announcers didn't bend over backwards trying to explain that a Favre INT was somehow the receiver's fault, as TNT announcers (yes this game was on TNT) Gary Bender and Pat Haden were fair with Favre instead of deifying him like some current announcers have done in recent seasons.

- As for the other legendary quarterback, John Elway actually set a career high for moss passes thrown in a game with 59, and most completions with 33 (although that record was later topped). It's not surprising that Elway threw so much since the Broncos trailed big early and basically spent the last three quarters in a hurry-up offense, but despite the Packers constantly playing nickel and dime packages, Elway did rather well. His favorite target during the game was WR Vance Johnson, who made his impact felt on the game with 10 catches for 148 yards and a touchdown. Not only that, but Johnson made two or three remarkable catches and always seemed to make the catch just when the Broncons needed another third-down conversion. Elway's legendary arm strength was on display in this one, as he threw a couple of passes that almost went through his receivers, and threw one to Johnson so fast that even though a Packer was nearly in front of him, Elway's pass somehow got through for a first down.

- The Packers came into this game 1-3 after signing the biggest free agent of all time, DE Reggie White. Before the game, the announcers stated that Reggie went to the coaching staff and told them that despite the poor start, he still felt that coming to Green Bay was the right decision. Well, good for Reggie for not panicking after his first four games of a five year contract. I mean, what did they expect him to say, that the Packers suck and he should have gone to San Francisco or Miami instead? Anyway, Reggie had a whale of a ball game here, getting three sacks and many pressures on Elway. White was lined up against Denver OT Russell Freeman all game long, and poor Russell never had a chance. When White bull-rushed, he'd go through Freeman. When White decided to go to the outside, he got by Freeman with ease. When Freeman decided to block low, White hurdled over him and still got heat on the quarterback. With less than two minutes left in the game and the Broncos just outside of field-goal range, White decided that he'd just go ahead and clinch the win himself, getting back-to-back sacks on Denver's final two plays of the game. Simply put, White was the best player on the field that night.

- Denver's defense played excellent in the second half, but in the first half they weren't so good. TE Jackie Harris particularly gave them trouble, as for the game he caught 5 passes for 128 yards and a 66-yard touchdown. Most of Harris's catches came against Denver ILB Karl Mecklenburg, a fine player in his own right but also a player that struggled to keep up with the much faster Harris. Harris was actually the perfect player for Brett Favre, a tight end with downfield speed who could also make the tough catch in the middle of the field. Instead of becoming a star in Green Bay in playing in Super Bowls, Harris decided to chase the money and signed with Tampa Bay after the 1993 season, and was really never quite as good as he was during the 1992 and 1993 seasons for the Packers, while the Packers moved on with Mark Chmura taking his spot. No offense to Chmura, but Harris was the better athlete and better pass-catcher (although Harris wasn't much of a blocker) and had Harris stayed in Green Bay, I'm willing to bet that Chmura would have either been on the bench or on another team during Green Bay's Super Bowl run.

- Denver had a couple of key plays late in the fourth quarter that went the other way against them. On third down and inside Green Bay territory with less than four minutes to go, Elway fired a pass to rookie WR Tony Kimbourgh that hit the rookie in the hands and bounced to the ground (and also led Kimbourgh straight into S Mike Prior, who creamed him). On the next play, Elway seemed to convert a fourth down with a pass to WR Derek Russell at the 25 yard line, but a false start by Freeman nullified the play and led to the Broncos punting it away. If either play goes the Broncos way, K Jason Elam more than likely kicks a field goal and takes the game into overtime, or Elway leads the Broncos to another touchdown and gets yet another comeback victory, as it looked as if the Packers' offense was so out of sync that it would be hard to imagine them scoring after blowing a 23 point lead.

- A couple of other tidbits from this game: One, two sets of brothers, the Sharpes (Sterling and Shannon), and the Widells (Doug and Dave) played against each other in the game. In fact, the announcers mentioned that the Sharpe brothers had a $20,000 bet for who would have the most catches at the end of the season. Sterling won by the way, with a total of 112 to Shannon's 81. Second, despite being in the NFL for 24 seasons, this was the Broncos' first trip to Lambeau Field. Third, John Elway and Brett Favre would only fave each other twice in their careers, the first being this game, and the second being Super Bowl XXXII, where the Broncos won 31-24.

Well, that's all for now. I think I've overdosed on football for the time being, although since there probably won't be NFL football for three years the only option I'll have is to watch classic NFL games such as this. After this game, both teams would go on to make the playoffs, with the Broncos losing to the Los Angeles Raiders in the first round and the Packers beating the Detroit Lions before falling to the Dallas Cowboys in the second round. Well, thanks for reading, and if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Dallas Cowboys vs. San Francisco 49ers, NFC Championship Game, January 10, 1982

The second game of The Canon Review football fix weekend is one of the most memorable games of all time, the 1981 NFC Championship Game between the Dallas Cowboys and San Francisco 49ers. This game is remembered for 'The Catch', as Dwight Clark leaped high in the air to score the winning touchdown for the 49ers with less than a minute to go. The 49ers won this game 28-27, in a game that put them on the map and sent them on their way to becoming the team of the 1980s. In a way, this was almost a passing of the torch, as the Cowboys had been the dominant power in the NFC during the 1970s while the 49ers would become the top dog in the 1980s. This game featured five Hall of Fame players, two Hall of Fame coaches on the sideline and a third one, Hank Stram, in the broadcast booth with Vin Scully, and also featured a bunch of obscure running backs for the 49ers, including Lenvil Elliott. Elliott had been cut before the season and was only activated the week before due to injury, but ended up starting the game despite carrying the ball seven times during the regular season. A few other notes from this game:

- The 49ers started their game winning drive from their own 11 yard line with less than five minutes to go. The Cowboys played the pass by putting in six defensive backs, but coach Bill Walsh crossed the Cowboys up by relying a lot on the running game even though the 49ers had mixed success with the running game up to that point. The team relied on Elliott to carry the ball and short passes to move the ball downfield. Also, they called a reverse to WR Freddie Solomon which gained 12 yards after the two minute warning. A risky play, but unlike the reverse the Bears called in the 2010 NFC Championship Game, this one worked like a charm. Right after that, Montana fired a pass into double coverage which Dwight Clark somehow caught. If CB Everson Walls had gotten to that spot a split second earlier, he would have had an interception (which would have been his third) and the Cowboys would have won the game. Also, two plays before The Catch, Solomon was wide open in the end zone, but Montana rushed his throw and overthrew his receiver, just like he nearly overthrew Clark.

- Even though the niners gained the lead after 'The Catch', the game had 52 seconds left and the Cowboys had two timeouts. On the first play from scrimmage, QB Danny White hit Drew Pearson streaking down the middle of the field, and only a horse-collar tackle by 49ers CB Eric Wright stopped Dallas from taking the lead. On the next play, the 49ers defense recovered, as lineman Lawrence Pillers tore through the Cowboys' offensive line and forced a fumble, which DE Jim Stuckey recovered to salt the game. Nevertheless, the Cowboys were only a step away from going to the Super Bowl.

- One thing that struck me about this game is that the 49ers seemed to be the more talented team of the two, as they easily moved the ball down the field all game long and their defense caused all sorts of trouble for Danny White. However, the 49ers kept shooting themselves in the foot, as they turned the ball over six times. Montana threw three interceptions, two deep balls that Walls picked off, and one short pass that was tipped and picked off by DT Randy White. Also, the Cowboys scored two touchdowns after fumbles by RBs Bill Ring and Walt Easley in 49ers territory. If the 49ers were able to hold on to the ball better, they would have won this game by two touchdowns. Perhaps nerves got the better of them early on, but at least the 49ers were cool and collected when it mattered most.

- The Cowboys scored another touchdown after an interception by Ronnie Lott was called back due to pass interference. It was a terrible call, as Lott never even touched Pearson when the two were going for the ball. Maybe it's by anti-Cowboy bias, but it sure seemed as if the refs were favoring the so called "America's Team". On the play just before Lott's penalty, Tony Hill seemed to be out of bounds on a catch, but the catch was allowed anyway, and the Cowboys seemed to get some generous spots on plays close to the first down marker. Later on in the game, Lott was called for another pass interefernce penalty, although this one was obvious, and in the fourth quarter, Lott injured his hand and after every play would bend over wincing in pain. So, all in all, not the greatest day for Lott, although maybe at the time he felt it was the greatest day he ever had.

- This was an intense, hard-hitting football game between two top notch teams, although it wasn't the greatest game ever played. For one, all the turnovers didn't help, and also the field at Candlestick Park was a mess. Even though the grounds crew did the best they could, players were slipping and sliding all game long on the field, and the Cowboys seemed more effected by it than the 49ers. I don't think it made a difference in the final result, but who knows what would have happened if the game was played on a drier field.

- The 49ers played rather well on defense given the fact that they had to overcome six turnovers. DEs Dwaine Board and Fred Dean applied pressure all day, and while Tony Dorsett gained 91 yards, he never popped off a huge gain, as his longest gain went 11 yards. OLB Willie Harper was probably the best player on the 49ers defense this day, as he was all over the field making key stops on both the run and the pass. The game must have extra important for Harper, as he was the longest tenured 49er on the roster having been there since 1973, and played on some really bad teams. Also, the other outside linebacker, Keena Turner, played the game despite having the chicken pox. Hopefully the Cowboys got some shots before the game or at least had chicken pox during their childhoods.

- Here's something that I found interesting. The Cowboys punter was also their starting quarterback, Danny White, and I beleive that he was the last full-time starting quarterback who also doubled as a punter (Tom Tupa played QB and punter a few times during his career, but he was never a long term starter). Also, San Francisco's punter Jim Miller punted barefoot, which I can't imagine doing without hurting. But I guess it worked for him.

- One thing that I noticed about the telecast was that there weren't a lot of cutaways to the head coaches. Sure, there were some, but it's nothing like modern day telecasts where every play is followed by a shot of Andy Reid or Bill Belicheck reacting to the previous play. I think it was better back then, as we really don't need to see Belicheck have the same stone faced look after every play or Norv Turner looking befuddled as usual. As for the broadcast team, I though Vin Scully and Stram did a great job calling the game, as Stram was very informative and Scully was his typical great self.

So, that's that. As you may know, the 49ers would go on to win the Super Bowl against the Cincinnati Bengals two weeks after this game, and would win three more during the decade. While the Dallas Cowboys would rebound and make another appearance in the NFC Championship Game next year, 1981 was probably the Landry Cowboys last best shot at winning a title, and a few years later, the Cowboys would fade into mediocrity before Jimmy Johnson brought them back a decade later. Well, thanks for reading, and if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Washington Redskins at Chicago Bears, October 6, 1991

Man, I don't know about you, but I'm already missing football. Also, with labor talks breaking down and a possible lookout looming more than ever, we may not see NFL football for a while. So, all weekend long, I have decided to watch a game each day and review it. Today's post is about the week 6 game in 1991 between the Chicago Bears (4-1) versus the Washington Redskins (5-0), a game that featured four future Hall of Famers, two Super Bowl winning coaches, the former and current coach of the San Francisco 49ers, and Matt Millen.  At the end of day, it was the Redskins that would emerge victorious, by a 20-7 margin. Here are a few notes about this game:

- The stars of this game were the Washington Redskins defense, particularly their defensive line. Bears QB Jim Harbaugh had no time to throw all day long and took tremendous hits thanks to the pressure from DTs Tim Johnson and Eric Williams, as well as DE Charles Mann. In an attempt to put more pressure on Harbaugh, the 'Skins would often line up Mann inside across from Bears C Jay Hilgenberg, and for most of the first half Hilgenberg just couldn't handle him before eventually slowing him down in the second half. Even though Harbaugh took lots of hits, the Bears never made an adjustment by keeping an extra back in to block or putting Harbaugh in the shotgun until late in the game. As a result, Harbaugh was rushed into making some terrible throws and finished the day 17-41 with three interceptions. Harbaugh was so rattled that on one play, he kept dropping back before finally floating a pass in the air attended for RB Neal Anderson, but LB Kurt Gouveia just waited for the ball to come down and picked it off easily. Needless to say, it was not Harbaugh's finest day.

- Even though the Redskins won 20-7 and were only up 10-7 at the end of the third quarter, the score does not illustrate how much they outplayed the Bears in this game. In fact, the Redskins could have had two more touchdowns had Mark Rypien been more accurate. In the first quarter, WR Gary Clark had CB Leumel Stinson beat downfield, but Rypien underthrew it and Stinston picked it off at the five yard line. In the third quarter, Clark once again beat his man downfield, but this time Rypien rushed his throw despite nobody being around him and overthrew his man. I will say that Rypien played a decent game, though he received a lot of help from Clark and WR Art Monk. Monk in particular had a strong game, catching two touchdown passes and making a key catch on fourth down despite taking not one, but two hard hits from Bears secondary players. Monk's stats weren't that impressive (6 catches, 69 yards), but he had the biggest individual impact on the game and played like, well, a Hall of Famer.

- Rypien was also a lot more mobile then I remember him being. Sure, he wasn't Michael Vick like, but for a big guy Rypien could move back in the pocket. One of the keys to the Redskins offense getting on track was Rypien's ability to roll out of the pocket to the right and buying him extra time to find a receiver. That way, not only could Rypien buy more time, but it also moved the play away from Bears DE Richard Dent, and it didn't hurt that the 'Skins had All-Pros Mark Schlerth and Joe Jacoby on the right side and that the Bears were without their other defensive end, Trace Armstrong.

- While Harbaugh didn't have the best game, he didn't get a lot of help either. The Redskins kept Anderson in check for most of the game, holding the back for 73 yards. A bigger problem for Harbaugh was the drops by his receivers, as the Bears dropped five passes in the first half. The biggest came in the first quarter where Harbaugh had Wendell Davis wide open at midfield and threw a perfect strike, only for Davis to drop it. Davis may not have scored on the play, but he had enough room to get at least in field goal range, and the whole game might have changed had Davis held on to that ball.

- For a while, it looked as if the referees were going to take over the game, as there were eight penalties called in the first quarter alone. Some were legitimate, but each team had a big run taken back on holding calls that were borderline at best, and all the penalties really slowed the game's pace to a crawl and took the Bears' crowd out of the game. Speaking of which, John Madden would constantly express his surprise at the lack of noise the Bears fans were making, considering they were playing at home against a top-notch opponent. Eventually, this lethargy carried over to the Bears, who played with a lack of urgency and spark all game long. Even coach Mike Ditka was surprisingly calm as his team made mistake after mistake.

- The game was called by Pat Summerall and John Madden, which is always a good thing, unless the game is over and Madden blabs about whatever just happens to be on his mind at the time. He spent an entire minute talking about Redskins LB Matt Millen and how the number 57 just didn't suit Millen. In Madden's mind, 57 was too long a number. I have no idea what he meant by that, but that's what he said.

So that's that. After this game, the Redskins would win their next five games before finally losing to the Cowboys, then the Redskins would go on to win the Super Bowl against the Buffalo Bills. The Bears would finish 1991 at 11-5, but lost to the Dallas Cowboys in what turned out to be the final playoff game Mike Ditka would coach, unless he decides to come back in the future, which seems unlikely. At the end of the day, the Bears just didn't have enough firepower to overtake the challenging Redskins' defense, and despite some shaky play from Mark Rypien and a running game that was ineffective, the Redskins made this game look easy. Well, thanks for reading, and if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Canon Television Review: Two Episodes of The A-Team

You know what was a good show? Dallas. But I'm not really in the mood to watch Dallas so I'm going to watch two episodes of The A-Team instead. The only thing in doubt is not whether The A-Team will save the day, but how. So, on with the show.

Episode 1: West Coast Turnaround (Season 1, Episode 10)

In this episode, a farmer named Joe Penhall (played by Academy Award nominee Stuart Whitman) and his daughter are having a feud with a ruthless land developer named Chuck Easterman. Easterman won't let the farmers transport their crop of watermelons to market, and after Easterman and his men drive Joe off the road, it's time to call in the A-Team and their annoying reporter friend named Amy, who wouldn't be around too much after this episode. So Hannibal shows up in a disguise just because he can, and the A-Team gets to work. In this episode, Murdock has an invisible dog named Billy, which drives B.A. up the wall because that's just how it is. Their first step is to steal a couple of 18-wheelers from a fella named Bill Mather, who had screwed over Penhall after Easterman paid him not to transport his crops. After passing a roadblock set up by Easterman, who despite being a land developer seems to have nothing better to do than screw with these people, The A-Team arrives at the Penhall farm, and Easterman and his men follow to tell the A-Team to back off. This doesn't go as planned, as B.A. throws most of the gang in the back of a pickup truck and the rest eventually scurry away to fight another day.

Easterman is now more determined than ever to prevent that watermelon shipment from getting through, so the team comes up with a plan, putting a cow catcher on one of the trucks. But they still need a chase car, and the only one available is Amy's brand new Le Car. Wow, that is definitely an eighties vehicle. Amy complains about this turn of events for about a solid minute, which doesn't endear her to me in any way, before finally relenting. Hey, if you want to roll with the A-Team, you've got to expect that your vehicle will be used as some sort of battering ram and customized with bits of scrap metal welded to the frame. So Hannibal takes off in the truck with Face and Murdock following behind in the Le Car to go through the roadblock. Easterman has set up two roadblocks, but calls the team on the other roadblock in after spotting the cow-catcher 18 wheeler. Hannibal gets through, and thanks to a diversion of burning hay on the back of the car and some well placed nails, the team seems to get away, only for another Easterman team member to set off an explosion in the road and knocking everyone on track. Team Easterman now has Hannibal, Face, and Murdock at gunpoint and go to burn the contents of the back of the truck. BUTWAITAMINUTE! There's nothing in there, and B.A., Amy, and the farmer's daughter are heading south in the other truck with the load.

While the rest of the A-Team is driven to a horse farm, Easterman and a few others haul ass to try and catch the other truck. Things look bleak for the A-Team, but Murdock starts acting like a horse himself to cause a diversion and to get the horses riled up. This really doesn't work, but Hannibal notices that gas is leaking out of Le Car, so he steals a thug's cigarette out of his mouth and throws it on the gas, setting Le Car on Le fire. The A-Team takes advantage of this commotion to jack a helicopter, and Hannibal grabs a crate of watermelons for some ammo. Hey, you got to use what's available to you. Easterman and another pickup truck catches up to B.A., and B.A. is able to hold them off long enough with some evasive driving skills, even driving one truck off the road, before the helicopter comes to the rescue. After Face fails to land a solid shot with a watermelon, Hannibal takes over and lands two direct hits on Easterman's truck and causes him to do the patented A-Team villain flip and wreck. At the end, while the watermelon didn't quite sell as highly as usual, the farm was saved. That's more than what can be said for Amy's Le Car, and he chastises Face for convincing her to use it as a battle Le Car and demands that he pay for repairs. Although, at this point, it would probably cost less to by a new Le Car, because that other one is pretty messed up. This was your typical A-Team show, featuring evil land developers, some rigged up vehicle built for war and Murdock acting crazy while B.A. can't believe he's stuck with him. Still, good stuff here, even if I could have done without Amy's constant whining about her car. I'll give it a 7 out of 10.

Episode 2: Bounty (Season 3, Episode 22)

This episode starts with two mean looking cowboys asking to see Murdock at the psychiatric ward of the VA Hospital, which is Murdock's home. They come in, blow a hole through the door with a shotgun and take Murdock away. Meanwhile, Face is on the case posing as a doctor, but must leave once Col. Decker of the military police shows up because, as you may know, the A-Team is still being hunted down for transgressions during the Vietnam War that they were falsely charged with. Face manages to escape, and Murdock's abductors call up Hannibal asking for him and the rest of the team to come quitely or Murdock gets it. Murdock's abductors are a team of bounty hunters consisting of a father, two sons, and some Indian guy they found out in the woods or something. While the bounty hunters drive off to the designated meeting place, Murdock escapes in like 10 seconds and dives out the window. Even though the bounty hunters fire a ton of rounds, Murdock is able to disappear in the woods. For a group of top notch bounty hunters, you would think they would be able to shoot at a moving target, but not these guys. As it turns out, Murdock would have been better off staying put, as the A-Team arrive to find that Murdock has escaped. They soon scatter once Col. Decker and the MPs arrive, but oh no, one of the bullets fired knocked the antenna off in the van, making the A-Team's mobile phone useless.

Murdock makes a run for it and eventually sneaks into the back of a veternarian's van. The vet, a Kelly Stevens, is actually played by Wendy Fulton, who is married to Dwight Schulz (Murdock) in real life. In a big coincidence, the truck full of bounty hunters just happen to pick the very same van Murdock is in and forces Kelly to pull over. Once they open the back, all they see is an angry dog, so they close up and threaten her for whatever reason before driving off. That's some extreme bounty hunting. I don't think Dog the bounty hunter would randomly accost and search vehicles on the road, then threaten their lives. Kelly then pulls over after a couple of miles to look in the back of the van, and she finds Murdock. They start talking as Murdock tries to tune in to an A.M radio at Dr. Stevens' office, and Murdock is taken aback once he learns that Kelly is single. Meanwhile, the rest of team end up at a radio station, where Face slips a mickey in DJ Cowboy Billy Bob's drink and takes over the airwaves sending a message out to Murdock. Instead of staying put, B.A. and Hannibal decide to bring the fight to Decker by blowing up a Military Police car, then they pay tribute to the Dukes of Hazzard by making a nearly impossible jump over a broken bridge with their van. That does not put Decker in a good mood. Eventually, Face's transmission is picked up by Murdock, and he calls a concerned B.A. to relay his coordinates. Murdock gives Kelly a kiss before taking off to rejoin the A-Team, and stops at a phone booth to check back, but as it turns out, the evil bounty hunters have shown up and have Kelly at gunpoint. They give the A-Team one hour to show up, or else.

The A-Team prepare for their showdown by stopping in some guy's yard and building a contraption for their van before meeting up with the bounty hunters. They get out of the van with their hands up, but it's a trick, as Hannibal hits a button and two machine guns emerge from behind the grille, firing rapidly and sending the bounty hunters diving for cover. Yes, the A-Team managed to build two perfect functioning machine guns mounted to a van in less than an hour, so what of it? The two squads square off in fisticuffs, and it's a total squash for the A-Team as they vanquish their foes and get out of town just before Col. Decker and the police can arrive. At the end of the show, Kelly visits Murdock at the VA Hospital, and the two talk over a pizza. Man, this was a great episode, one of the best in A-Team history, even if the bounty hunters were not very good actors at all. A 9 out of 10.

Well, that's all for now. Thanks for reading, and remember, if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Canon Movie Review: The Lion King

The highest selling home video of all-time (and I still have a copy of that video somewhere), The Lion King is a 1994 film made by Disney and is in my opinion the last great hand drawn animated film Disney ever produced, even if the storyline is largely lifted from a 1960s Japanese cartoon called Kimba the Lion. The Lion King featured voice acting from Matthew Broderick, Jeremy Irons, James Earl Jones, Mr. Bean, Moira Kelly, Robert Guillamane, Nathan Lane, one half of Cheech and Chong, and the naked guy on the subway from Seinfeld. Also, it featured a soundtrack written by Elton John and Tim Rice, and a talking warthog. In The Lion King, Simba (Broderick) watches his father and king of Pride Rock Mufasa (Jones) die thanks to an evil plot conceived by his uncle Scar (Irons). Convinced he is to blame, Simba leaves for a long exile, but eventually he must come back to face his past and regain his throne. Well, it's a little more complicated than that, but that's basically the jist of the movie. A few notes about this film, and there are SPOILERS, so read carefully.

- For a kid's movie, this is some heavy stuff. Not only is there the on-screen death of a major character in Mufasa, there's numerous attempts on Simba's life when he's a mere cub, male on female violence, themes of imprisonment and starvation and even flatulence, although that last one is more humorous than anything. Sure, it is more tame than most other movies, but there are some mature themes in this film that may have some effect on younger viewers.

- Scar is an interesting villian in this film. For one, he's a cold and evil lion, willing to kill his own family to get his way, but at the same time he's not willing to get his hands dirty. Instead of, say, killing Simba himself, Scar tries to set Simba up for the hyenas to kill instead. Also, Scar comes up with a convoluted plan to kill Mufasa and really only does that by letting gravity take its course, then pins it on Simba before getting the hyenas to try and kill him again. One might say that Scar is a coward that only picks on those weaker than him and backs down from confrontation when faced with an equal challenger. To his credit, Scar is charismatic in his own way, as he is able to spin enough lies to get the hyenas on his side to carry out his evil plan.

- Speaking of the hyenas, I kind of feel for them. I mean, think about it. The hyenas are banished by Mufasa or whoever was before him to live in an elephant graveyard where all they get to eat is scraps and whatever poor soul happens to come across their path. Then Scar comes around and promises food and equality for all the hyenas, so they do what they must in order to secure more food and a better future for their kind. Then the guy they've pinned all their hopes on, Scar, isn't so good as a king, and all the food eventually disappears (perhaps due to the ecosystem not being able to handle the infusion of all the hyenas, although the movie seems to just put all the blame on Scar because he sucks or something), so eventually the hyenas are just left with the same situation as before, with little food and little hope, plus they're being scapegoated for all the problems of Pride Rock. It's not east being a hyena in this tale, that's for sure.

- After Simba leaves his home, he meets up with a pair of aimless drifters named Timon (Lane) and Poomba (Ernie Sabella/naked guy from Seinfeld), a meerkat and warthog respectively. The duo ends up carrying the bulk of the humor in the film, and despite being a little over the top, they aren't too annoying at all. I don't know how a meerkat and warthog get along so well, but by golly they do here. Timon and Poomba are portrayed as aimless drifters who live off the earth and have a motto of no worries. So I guess that makes them hippies? I wonder if Timon and Poomba ever did some wacky tobaccy? Or maybe I'm just overthinking things again.

- My least favorite character in this story is Mufasa's assistant, a bird named Zazu (Rowan Atkinson). He's either an overbearing twit (as in the scene where he confronts Scar about missing Simba's introduction ceremony) or a bossy know it all. Let's just say I wasn't too upset that he ended up in a prison during Scar's regime. Apparently, I'm not the only person that feels this way, as this video below will attest:



- The animation of this movie is incredible, particularly the opening montage and the stampede scene. It was so well-drawn that there were times where it looked as if it was done by computer instead of by hand. Also, the soundtrack had a few memorable songs, including The Circle of Life and Can You Feel the Love Tonight? My favorite was Be Prepared, in spite of its general message of genocide and murdering of family members via stampede.

Well, it's late, so I'm going to wrap it up here. I watched The Lion King in theaters when it was first released as a young lad, and came out really liking the film. After watching it again, I must say that I feel the same way that I did some 16-17 years ago. Yes, The Lion King may be a little above the heads of some younger viewers, but it is also a film that features great animation, an interesting (if simple) plot, and some memorable songs. Overall, I'd give The Lion King an 8 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Canon Video Game Review: Max Payne 2 (XBOX)

Over the past few days, I've been playing the 2003 game for the original XBOX, Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne, which believe it or not is the sequel to Max Payne. Max is a New York City Police detective who if he had any luck at all, it would be bad. Because most of Max's loved ones have either killed him or betrayed him, Max has an outlook on life that is very dark and cynical, and that might be an understatement. Max Payne 2 was published by Rockstar, and developed by Remedy Entertainment, which also developed the 2010 game Alan Wake, and Rockstar Vienna.

Image courtesy of allgame.com

In Max Payne 2, Max Payne is back on the force after having his name cleared at the end of Max Payne 1. However, all is not well with Max, as he once again finds himself in a hailstorm of mistrust, corruption, and betrayal. To make matters worse, it seems that everyone Max comes across wants him dead. Max finds a new love interest in Mona Sax, a hired gun who like Max, seems to be unable to trust anybody but herself. To further complicate matters, Mona is the prime suspect in the murder of a Senator, and Max's partner Det. Winterson is hell bent on bringing Mona down for the murder. Also, Max's buddy Vladimir Lem, a Russian mobster, seems to have a role in all the goings on, but whose side is he really on? So Max does what he does best, killing a whole bunch of people before his dark life comes crashing down on him again, and maybe comes to a complete stop if Max is not careful.

The gameplay in Max Payne is rather simple, as you go through each level trying to shoot as many bad guys as possible. To assist with this, the game offers the ability to go into 'bullet time', which allows everything to move around you in slow motion, giving the player a major advantage in massive firefights with the enemy. Max also has the ability to dive in slow motion, giving him an advantage in dodging bullets and firing off many shots in mid dive. Also, it looks really cool as you dive over a crate or something and fire bullets at a rapid pace at your enemies. While the gameplay is solid, I did find that the levels got sort of repetitive, as most of the levels are inside apartment buildings and factories, and it kind of runs together after a while. I will say that the funhouse levels are rather interesting, as the surroundings add a whole other level of suspense to the game. Also, there are a few dream sequences that you must play through that further explores the fragile psyche of Max Payne. The narrative of Max Payne is very compelling and well-done, with a film noir esque style that is enhanced by the dark and gritty surrondings that each level has.

The graphics for Max Payne 2 are good. They're not great, as there are a few issues with the character design of some of the supporting characters, but overall the graphics look sharp and the physics engine of Max Payne 2 is probably the graphical strongpoint, as every character moves smoothly and in a realistic manner. Also, the comic panel scenes that advance the story in between levels look very sharp and are very well-drawn. The sound of Max Payne 2 is quite good, I must say, as the game featured excellent voice acting and the various sound effects of each weapon seem to be quite realistic. The game doesn't rely on a whole lot of music, but what music is there also adds to the dark tone of the narrative presented here. The game isn't very long, as one could get through the entire story in a day if they were so inclined, and still have time to play something else. I'd say I played the entire game through in about 13 hours over the course of the last couple of days, and the lack of a multiplayer mode hurts the replay value of the game. Plus, since the game is more of a linear experience than say, Grand Theft Auto, you don't really have a lot of control over the events of the story, so unless you really like the game, there's not really a lot of reason to play it over again (although there is a different ending if you beat the game on the highest level, so at least that's something).

Overall, Max Payne 2 may be a game that might be a little short, but it packs a hell of a punch in a small package. Max Payne 2 is a blast to play through and although it's not perfect, there's really not a lot for me to gripe about when it comes to this game. I'd recommend this game for any gamer that likes a hard hitting action game, and the compelling storyline will keep you engrossed in the game. Overall, I'd give Max Payne 2 an 8.5 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Canon Movie Review: The Expendables

Last week, I was discussing the Oscar Nominations with a few people when it occurred to me that I hadn't watched any of the movies that were nominated. Furthermore, I realized that I haven't seen any movie that came out in theaters in 2010. I'm not sure why this happened, as while it is true that I really don't watch a whole lot of movies, I usually go to the theater a couple times a year to check out some flick. Heck, I even saw Van Helsing when it came out in theaters, and that movie wasn't too good, let me tell you. But, here we are. So, in an attempt to rectify that, I decided to watch The Expendables. Sure, it wasn't nominated for any Oscars, but hey, it's a start.

The Expendables is a 2010 film directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone. The movie also stars Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Mickey Rourke, Eric Roberts, Steve Austin, Terry Crews, and Bruce Willis. Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Segal were also offered roles in the film, but both men declined for different reasons. Wesley Snipes was also offered a role in the film, but due to legal troubles he was unable to star. Other than that, pretty much every big time action movie star of the past 30 years, with the glaring exception of Chuck Norris, was in this film. The plot of The Expendables is rather simple, as a group of mercenaries called The Expendables led by Barney Ross (Stallone) take up a mission to overthrow a dictator of a fictional island and the ex-CIA Agent (Roberts) who has pretty much taken over the island and its illegal drug trade. So, of course, they go to the island and blow lots of stuff up. A few notes about this film, and yes there will be SPOILERS, so read carefully:

- When watching The Expendables, I expected a lot of action-scenes full of fighting and gunfire and explosions, and while there was a lot of it, the action shots itself were not well shot at all. For one, a lot of the scenes were way too close up on the actors, so you couldn't tell which Expendable was doing what half the time. Furthermore, Stallone for some reason used the camera shaking technique a lot, particularly in the climatic scene, which I must admit I am not a fan of at all. I guess he did it to add some sort of realism to the fight, but damn it I wasn't watching this film for realism, I was watching it in the hopes of getting a well-shot action sequence, and I got neither.

- The acting in The Expendables is a mixed bag. Li is hardly in the film and he's either doing martial arts scenes or complaining about money (I wonder if he did that behind the scenes), Crews and Couture are one-note members of the Expendables, although Crews does better in his role. Stone Cold plays Stone Cold as Eric Roberts's enforcer, while Stallone and Lundgren at least try to act, but their performances are average at best. Statham is rather believable as the knife throwing expert Lee Christmas (despite the dumb name). Sure, he's given a side story with Charisma Carpenter that goes nowhere, but he still does well in those scenes. Rourke is easily the best actor in the whole film, and his scene where he reminisces about a girl he didn't save in Bosnia is the most emotional scene in the film, even if Stallone almost ruined it by staring blankly for a minute before disappearing off the screen.

- The Expendables apparently have an unlimited budget. I mean, they have their own plane complete with two big guns that fire hundreds of rounds a minute, and they also have tons of grenades, remote explosives, more guns than an NRA convention, motorcycles, and Ross drives around in a souped up 55 'Ford pick up. At one point, I thought to myself 'I wonder what their overhead is?' A dumb thing to think I know, but still.

- The Expendables are also hella tough, as despite fighting an entire army loaded to the teeth they hardly suffer a scratch. The only time any of the Expendables are in real danger is when they're fighting each other, or when Stallone's character must take on Steve Austin. This total domination of their opponents kind of takes away from the danger of the film, as it's pretty clear from the beginning what's going to happen at the end since nobody is made out to be vulnerable.

- Filming for The Expendables was somewhat hard on the actors, as Sylvester Stallone actually broke his neck during his fight scene with Austin. Speaking of Austin, he also suffered many injuries, and according to Stallone nearly lost a leg when an explosion went off too close to him. I'm also surprised that Randy Couture didn't burn himself considering he punched a man that was ON FIRE, although it was probably a special effect.

Overall, The Expendables was billed as a throwback to the big-time action films of the 1980s with big guns and lots of explosions. While it had some of that, The Expendables just seemed to be missing something that those films had. Stallone tries to give this film some sort of deeper meaning, but it just doesn't come across too well, and the action scenes were a mixed bag at best due to some poor cinematography. There are a lot worse way to spend an hour and a half, but while The Expendables is a decent time-killer where you don't have to think too much, I was hoping for a little more. Overall, I'll give it a 4.75 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The 2BWE Video Project: Pages 23-27

This is part 4 of the Big Bad WWE Encyclopedia Video Project, in which I attempt to watch a video of every single entry listed in the WWE Encyclopedia. In this edition, I get to see wrestlers such as Bertha Faye, the Bastian Booger, Battle Kat, and Beaver Cleavage in action. Lucky, lucky me. For more specifics about this project, then check out the link here. Not, onto the show.

P23- Barry Windham: Barry Windham vs. Arn Anderson


This match is from sometime in September of 1991, although I'm not sure of the exact date. Jim Ross mentions that these two used to be part of an elite organization, but refuses to state which organization that is. Windham gets right in Anderson's face, so Arn decides to slap him, and the fight is on. Windham with three right hands, and Anderson scurries out to the outside. Anderson tries a hammerlock, but Windham gets out of that with a back elbow. The video skips to later in the match, and Windham is working over Arn's leg to the point where Arn is limping. On the outside, Windham goes after Arn, but Arn gets the advantage and throws Windham into the steel post. Anderson, like a good Anderson does, works over Windham's arm now, yanking it into the ring post, and then stomping on his shoulder once they get back into the ring. Anderson continues the assault with an arm bar, and uses the ropes for leverage whenever the ref is out of position. After Windham declares that he will not give up, Anderson then tries to position Windham's shoulders on the mat, and gets a series of two counts before Windham finally gets out of it by kicking Arn in the face. Now up, Windham decides to kick at Arn's injured leg before whipping him into the ropes, only for Arn to rebound with a kick to Windham's bum shoulder. Arn with a hammer lock, but Windham gets back up and fires back at Anderson with a series of back elbows, then catches Arn with a sleeper hold after reversing an Irish whip. Both men fall face first to the mat, and neither me or Jim Ross is sure as to why. Back up, Windham is whipped into the ropes, and both men's heads bump into each other. Arn gets the advantage with a snapmare, then tries an attack from the second rope, only to take a pair of boots to the face. Windham tries a similar attack, and his clothesline connects. Cover, but Anderson's foot is on the ropes. A Windham powerslam also gets two, but Arn rakes the eyes and tries a piledriver. Windham is able to backdrop him, but Anderson holds on for a sunset flip and with the assistance of the ring ropes, holds Windham down long enough to get the three count. BUTWAITAMINUTE, Ron Simmons comes out and explains to the ref that Anderson was holding on to the ropes, so the match is restarted and amidst the confusion, Windham scores a quick rollup on Arn to get the three count. Good stuff here between two top-notch performers, though I wish it went longer. I'll still give it a 3 out of 5.

P23- Bart Gunn: Bart Gunn vs. Faarooq

The leader of the Nation of Domination takes on the future Mike Barton in this match from the January 20, 1997 edition of Monday Night Raw. Faarooq starts by knocking down Bart with a shoulderblock, then Gunn gets back up with a pair of armdrags sandwiched by a dropkick and takes Faarooq down. Gunn continues to work over Faarooq's arm as the show goes to commercial. Back from the break, Faarooq is now in control, and flattens Gunn with a spinebuster that gets a two count. Faarooq distracts the ref while PG-13 works over Gunn from ringside, then puts Gunn in a rear chinlock. Bart gets out of it and boots Faarooq in the head after an Irish whip, but then misses an elbow drop. Faarooq covers for a two count, then puts on the rear chinlock again. Faarooq gets tired of that and slams Gunn down, then goes to the top rope, only for Gunn to move out of the way of his flying attack and send Faarooq flying face first to the mat. Bart connects with a back elbow and a pair of clotheslines, then takes Faarooq down with a bulldog. Cover, but PG-13 puts Faarooq's leg on the bottom rope. Well, Bart's had enough of their antics, so he takes out both members, but gets knocked down by a flying axe handle from the apron by Faarooq. Crush comes over and rolls Bart back in, and Faarooq finishes the job with a Dominator to get the victory. Well, that wasn't very interesting at all. Not good and did nothing for anybody. I'll give it a 1 out of 5.

P23- Basham Brothers: Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams defend their World Tag Team Titles against the team of Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio in this match from No Way Out 2005. Eddie and Danny Basham start out, with Danny pointing to the S.O.D. on his tights, which stands for Sit on Down. Actually, it's referring to their positions as the Secretaries of Defense in JBL's Cabinet. Eddie, and the rest of us, are not in the very least impressed. The two do a sequence of holds which ends with Eddie putting an arm wringer on Danny and tagging in Mysterio who attacks the outstretched arm with a double axe handle. A quick leg drop after a snap mare gets a two count. Danny drives Mysterio into his corner and tags in Doug, and the two pound on Mysterio in their corner before Danny leaves. Danny chokes Rey with the tag rope while the ref is preoccupied with Doug, then Doug whips Rey in, which is a bad idea because Mysterio rebounds with a flying arm drag. Tag to Eddie, and he goes to work on Doug with some strikes before countering a backdrop attempt with a huracanrana. But Basham lands on his feet, and brawls with Guerrero before eventually tagging out to Danny, and the champs double team Guerrero in their corner. Danny applies a cross armed sleeper on Eddie, using Guerrero's own arms against him. Eddie is able to get out, and back suplexes Danny down. Doug gets in, and blocks Eddie's attempt to tag out by pulling him back towards the middle of the ring and elbow dropping him. He follows up with two more, which gets a two count. Doug whips Eddie into the corner, takes a boot to the face but quickly rebounds with a powerslam that gets a two count before Mysterio breaks it up. Doug tries a diving headbutt, but misses and Eddie tags out to Mysterio, who catches Doug with a seated senton and a twisting springboard body press to get a two count. Mysterio gets another two count after a bulldog, but Danny breaks it up. While the ref has his back turned, Danny switches with his brother, and flattens Mysterio with a clothesline. While Michael Cole slams the Bashams for cheating while making an excuse for Eddie's cheating because "its a family tradition" (how does he know that cheating isn't a Basham family tradition as well), the Bashams work over Rey in the corner with stomps.

Danny locks in a Full-Nelson on Mysterio, then takes him down and switches to a reverse bearhug. Back up, Danny continues to overpower the smaller Mysterio, and whips him hard against the corner. Danny jacks Guerrero in the jaw, and the ref has to hold back a fired up Guerrero while the Bashams double team Mysterio. A double hotshot gets a two count for Danny, and Mysterio tries to crawl under Danny's legs to get the tag, but Basham puts a stop to that by grabbing the ankle. Tag out to Doug, who lifts Rey onto the top rope, but Mysterio punches out of the predicament, then hits a beautiful moonsault press on Doug for a two count. But Rey still can't get the tag, and Danny gets the tag and puts Rey in a cravate hold before turning that into a rear chinlock. Mysterio tries to escape the Basham's clutches, but gets caught with a double team facebuster. Cover, but Eddie makes the save just in time. The Bashams go for another tag team, but Rey kicks away at both men, then uses his quickness to dodge them, and has them running around in circles, allowing Rey to get the hot tag to Guerrero. Guerrero takes on the Bashams with some dropkicks and clotheslines, then uses his trademark headscissors armdrag to take down both Bashams. That gets a two count on Danny, but Doug comes in and breaks it up, and the two get another two count after a double spinebuster. The Basham try a double suplex on Eddie, but Mysterio takes out Doug with a dive, and Eddie small packages Danny for a two count. Eddie goes to the outside and grabs one of the tag team titles, so Rey goes over to stop him while the Bashams pull off another switch with Doug now in the ring. Eddie thinks better and goes for the frog splash, but rolls through after Doug moves, then nearly gets the victory after a small package. Danny tosses the tag belt to Eddie, who then tosses it to Doug, which draws the referee's attention. While Doug proclaims his innocence and the ref takes the belt away, Rey tosses in the other belt to Eddie, who flattens Doug with it, and Mysterio takes care of Danny with a 619 on the ring post, allowing Eddie to cover Doug and gets the three count. Rather good match, not the greatest of all time but still very good. I'd give it a 3.25 out of 5.

P23- Bastion Booger: Bastion Booger vs. Tony Webb

In this match from the December 11, 1993 episode of WWF Superstars, the legendary Bastion Booger takes on the 260 pound Tony Webb. Webb offers Booger something to eat, it looked like an ice cream sandwich but I'm not exactly sure, but Booger refuses and whips Webb into the ropes. Webb tries a pair of shoulder blocks, but gets nowhere fast and then takes a clothesline to the mush. Booger does one of the worst dances in wrestling history, then throws Webb outside of the ring and follows. Booger with a big splash on Webb against the ring post. Back in, Booger with a power slam, then he repeats his dance before delivering a sitdown splash on Webb (with the camera focused on Booger's gargantuan butt the whole time) to get the victory. Afterwards, Booger reaches into a bag and eats a marshmallow. Well, that was disgusting. I'm giving this a 0.25 out of 5.

P24- Batista: Batista vs. Goldberg and Stone Cold


How can Batista possibly fight off the two most powerful bald men in wrestling history? This video is taken from the November 3, 2003 episode of Raw. Austin calls out Batista in the ring, and Batista doesn't waste much time getting there. The two men exchange punches, and Batista earns a knockdown, but Austin fires back and clotheslines Batista over the rope. Mark Henry comes in for no reason, except to take a Stone Cold Stunner. While Austin disposes of Henry, Batista comes back in and knocks Austin down with a big right hand. Batista goes to stomp a mudhole in Austin. Batista throws Austin into the ringpost, but WAITAMINUTE! Goldberg is coming, bad ankle in all with a steel chair in his hand, and Batista is waiting for him. Poor Mark Henry gets up just to take a chair to the head from Big Bill. Goldberg enters the ring, trades punches, then spears Batista on the rebound of an Irish whip. Goldberg then tries to Pillmanize Batista's ankle with a chair, but Ric Flair comes out, only to eat a spear. But it did allow Batista to escape, and he helps Ric to the back. Austin comes back to the ring to drink a few beers with Goldberg, but Goldberg refuses until he gets a match with Batista on the next episode. Well, Austin decides that that would be swell, so he makes the match and the two 'drink some damn beers', as Austin puts it. Well, it wasn't a match, but it was a fun angle featuring some big name guys, so I'll give it a 3 out of 5.

P25- Battle Kat: Battle Kat in Action

The masked alias of the late Brady Boone, Battle Kat wrestles Paul Diamond in this match from the November 18, 1990 edition of Wrestling Challenge. Battle Kat is decked out in a black cat mask and orange and purple tights. It is not the worst costume I've ever seen a masked wrestler wear, but I can see why Battle Kat didn't last too long. Kat enters the ring and does a couple of backflips to show off his acrobatic skills. Kat pounces towards Diamond and ties up to start the match. Kat shows off his superior skills with a headscissors takedown sandwiched between two armdrags, then comes off the second rope with a back elbow on Diamond. Diamond gets a slight advantage after a headbutt to the gut, but a Battle Kat leapfrog is followed by a superkick. Diamond gets back up, and the two do a rope-running sequence featuring a leapfrog from each men before Battle Kat does a weak looking Thesz Press leading with the knees, and somehow gets the three count even though he barely touched Diamond during the cover. Battle Kat backflips in celebration. Not much to say about this one, other than I can't see why Battle Kat wasn't given the strap at Wrestlemania VII. I'll give it a 0.6 out of 5.

P25- Battle Royal: Wrestlemania 21 Battle Royal

This is a 30 man battle royal featuring 15 stars from Raw and Smackdown, each men wearing the shirts of their show. The two shows square off, with Heidenreich and Hurricane leading the teams. Hurricane gives Heidenreich a Hurri-mask, so Heidenrecih becomes Hurrireich before decking the Hurricane. Now everybody starts to fight one another, and Oh Here Go Hell Come as it's very hard to keep track of what's going on. Hurricane's doing a ten punch move in the corner on Akio when Luther Reigns comes up, puts Hurricane on his shoulders, and dumps him over the top rope. William Regal and Tajiri try to toss Luther Reigns over the top, and eventually they get some more help and Reigns is out. Booker T knocks Viscera down with a big kick, and a number of Smackdown superstars hold Viscera down so Scotty 2 Hotty can deliver his big move, the worm. Chris Masters is apparently offended by this, as he goes into beast mode and eliminates Scotty, Funaki, Spike Dudley, and Billy Kidman in quick succession before Mark Jindrak comes over to duke it out. Charlie Haas gets thrown out by a number of Raw Superstars, and Masters puts the Masterlock on Nunzio and throws him under the ropes, meaning Nunzio is not out since he must go over the top. Raw has a big advantage now, but Heidenrich has had all he can take, so he rips the turnbuckle and then stomps on the mask Hurricane gave him earlier, then he clotheslines Val Venis over the top rope. Heidenreich then starts to go after his own teammate Booker T, but the Bashams talk him out of it, so Heidenreich settles for eliminating Simon Dean instead. Heidenreich's reign of terror continues as he eliminates Sylvan and then throws Rosey over onto the apron, but Rhyno gores Heidenreich in the back, which knocks Heidenreich into Rosey and Rosey out of the match. Rhyno gores Snistsky for some reason, then Hardcore Holly eliminates Rhyno. Tajiri puts one of the Bashams in a Tarantula while Booker T eliminates Conway and Regal eliminates both Bashams at the same time. Both teams regroup, and oh Here Go Hell Come again as they restart the fight with a wild brawl.

Holly hits an Alabama Slam on Regal, while Viscera backdrops Akio and poor Akio lands face first on the steps. Masters and Heidenreich continue their dominance by eliminating Holly and Regal respectively, and Tajiri stands up for his partner by misting Heidenreich. Paul London helps up Heidenreich, then enziguri kicks Masters as he held Booker T in the Masterlock. London goes to monkeyflip Tajiri, but gets placed on the top rope instead. A charging Heidenreich tries to save London, but Tajiri moves and Heidenreich inadvertently knee lifts London over the top rope and out of the ring. Heidenreich and Tajiri fight on the apron, and while Tajiri gets a kick to the head in, Heidenreich absorbs the blow and eliminates Tajiri, only to take a boot from his good friend Snitsky and get eliminated. Jindrak eliminates Snitsky with a monkey flip, and your final four are Jindrak, Viscera, Masters, and Booker T. While Jindrak knocks Viscera silly with a big left hand, Masters comes from behind and tosses Jindrak over the top. But WAITAMINUTE! Nunzio comes back in and climbs on Masters' back, only for Viscera to knock him off and Masters to press slam him over the top rope, meaning Booker T is alone with Raw's Masters and the 500 pound Viscera. Viscera flattens Booker T with a splash in the corner, and the two Raw superstars scoop up Booker and try to toss him over. However, Booker's not done yet, and he fights out of it. Atomic Drop to Masters by Booker, and he goes for the Harlem Sidekick but misses and gets hung up on the rope. Viscera charges, but Booker ducks just in time and Viscera can't stop himself from going over the top, leaving Booker and Masters in the ring. Masters tries for a Master lock, but Booker elbows his way out and then tries to catapult Masters out. That doesn't quite work as Masters holds on, but Booker then superkicks Masters out of the ring and wins the battle royal. Wasn't too bad of a battle royal, and Masters and even Heidenreich looked good in this type of environment, so I'll give it a 2.15 out of 5.

P26- Battman: Championship Wrestling from Georgia bonus footage

Well, I couldn't find a video of Battman in the ring, so I'll have to settle for watching the man behind the Battman gimmick, Tony Marino, compete as Devil Blue in this match against Terry Ellis from the February 23, 1985 edition of Championship Wrestling from Georgia. If you know of any video featuring Battman in the ring, well feel free to point it out to me. Devil Blue is wearing a blue mask, while Ellis is a doughy looking guy in red trunks. Devil Blue with an early advantage as he pounds Ellis down to the mat, and he follows up with a snapmare and a knee to the back. Blue with another snapmare, and he fish hooks Ellis while holding him in a chinlock. He repeats the process, only he decides to change it up a bit by using a head vice. Blue lets go, kneedrops Ellis, then puts him back in the head vice. Blue then tires of this, and starts raining blows all over Ellis, with forearms, stomps, knees, the works. Devil Blue puts on a Russian Sickle, but Ellis stays strong and gets up and out of the hold with some elbows. He then tries to slug it out with Blue, but a big right hand sends Ellis down, and Blue follows with a knee lift and an uppercut. Blue whips Ellis into the ropes, tries to put him in a cobra clutch, but they mess up the spot and it takes a while before Blue can get his grip and properly get the hold on him, and the hold wins the match for him. Well, this was quite boring, even for a squash match. I'll give it a 0.4 out of 5.

P26- The Beast: Cuban Assassin vs. The Beast

The Beast if Yvan Cormier, and he takes on the original Cuban Assassin in this match from Atlantic Grand Prix Wrestling in 1999. For some reason, the Beast comes out to Rock n Roll part 2 by Gary Glitter. At this point, the Beast is about 60 years old, so I'm not expecting a five star classic here. The bell rings, and Cuban gets a punch in out of a headlock before letting go. Tie-up, and the Beast wins that exchange with a right hand of his own. After a Beast shoulder block, the Cuban Assassin bails to the outside to regroup. Back in, Beast continues to frustrate Cuban with a takedown by the head and a drop toe hold. Beast scores with an arm wringer, and Cuban must bail again to regroup. So far, Cuban's really doing all the work here. Assassin gets back in, and Beast tries another arm wringer, but Cuban gets out of it with a punch, and knocks the Beast down after two more punches. Cuban continues to work over Beast with punches and nerve holds. The ref constantly checks Cuban's fist for a foreign object, but doesn't find anything. For the next few minutes, the match goes as follows, The Beast gets out of the predicament somehow, then Cuban punches the Beast down, and then goes back to work on the mat. Finally, the Beast gets up and uses a series of punches to knock Cuban down. Beast bashes Cuban's head into the turnbuckle, but takes a boot to the gut after whipping Cuban into another corner. Cuban then Irish whips Beast into the ropes, but the crafty veteran comes back and hits a swinging neckbreaker on the Cuban Assassin, which is enough to get the three count. After the match, the Cuban Assassin complains to the ref, but to no avail. I'll be nice and give it a 1 out of 5.

P26- Beaver Cleavage: Beaver Cleavage promo

This is so stupid that it hurts. For a short time in 1999, the former Headbanger Mosh portrayed a character known as Beaver Cleavage, decked out in a beanie, a jacket and bow tie, and some shorts as well. He was based off of the character in the 1950s show Leave it to Beaver, but it was just weird seeing a grown man in this getup. In this clip, the Beaver has just sat down to eat some breakfast, but his Shredded Wheat is dry. But never fear, because Beaver's 'mother' is here, and by mother I mean a stacked blond woman in her mid-20s, with some milk. She asks if "mother's hairy beaver wants some of mother's milk". Well then. This was about as witty as a Bill Cowher stand-up routine. Of all the bad ideas Vince Russo came up with over the years, this would have to be in the top five. Still, it did have a hot blonde, and because I am shallow, I'll give it a 0.5 out of 5.



P26- Bertha Faye: Alundra Blayze vs. Bertha Faye

The Monster Ripper herself, Bertha Faye defends her WWF Women's Title against Alundra Blayze in this match from the October 23, 1995 edition of Raw. Bertha starts off with a big shoulder block, then shows off her power advantage with a press slam.  A bodyslam and a pair of legdrops follow, but Bertha can only get a one count after the second leg drop. Bertha follows up with a pair of chest bumps in the corner, but Alundra comes back out of the Irish whip with a sunset flip that gets a two count. Bertha's up quick with a clothesline, and Alundra tries another sunset flip, but Bertha is ready as she sits down on it and gets a two count. Bertha continues to womanhandle Blayze, constantly thrawting Blayze's attempts to regain the advantage with punches, slaps, and takedowns. The video cuts, and suddenly Alundra is in control, and she scores three straight running clotheslines. Cover, but only a one count, so Alundrea tries to powerbomb the much larger Bertha Faye. Well, that goes as one might expect, as Bertha backdrops Alundra to the mat. Bertha slams Alundra and takes forever to climb to the second rope, which gives Alundra enough time to handspring onto Blayze and huracanrana her down off the ropes. Bertha's manager Harvey Wippleman (a future women's champion in his own right, don't ask how) gets on the apron and holds Alundra. But Alundra moves, and Bertha runs into her manager, allowing Alundra to get behind her and give Bertha a German Suplex with a bridge that gets the three count, making Blayze the new Women's champion. Bertha is not happy about this at all, so she goes after Wippleman, who scurries back to the back as quickly as possible. Well, that wasn't too bad, if a little short, so I'll give it a 1.75 out of 5.

P27- Berzerker: Ultimate Warrior and the Undertaker vs. Berzerker and Papa Shango

What a titanic tag team match this is. I mean, who would of ever thought that The Berzerker and Papa Shango would form a tag team? This match took place on June 3, 1992. Undertaker and Warrior have a staredown, but are able to catch their charging opponents with big boots, and then clothesline them over the top rope. Berzerker and Undertaker square off and trade blows, with Undertaker getting the better of that exchange, trapping Berzerker in the corner and then choking him. Berzerker moves out of the way of a charging Undertaker and dropkicks Taker over the ropes, but 'Taker lands on his feet and drags Berzerker out for some brawling on the outside. Berzerker gets his head slammed into the steps, and both men soon after enter the ring, and the Warrior is tagged in. Warrior slams Berzerker and continues to keep him off balance with clotheslines and running shoulder blocks. Shango gets a knee into the back of a running Warrior, and now he gets tagged in and Berzerker and Shango double team Warrior. Shanog hammers on Warrior, then tags out to Berzerker who does a series of shoulderblocks to the gut of Warrior in the corner. Irish whip, Warrior ducks a clothesline only to take a big boot from Berzerker. Berzerker tries to do something with Shango in the corner, but Warrior blocks it and bashes his two opponents' heads into each other. Warrior tries to tag out, but Berzerker recovers quickly enough to stop that and tags in Shango. Shango and Berzerker work over Warrior in the corner, then Shango flattens Warrior with a diving shoulder block. Berzerker comes in, traps Warrior's arms in the ropes and kicks him a few times before charging at him, but Warrior is able to backdrop Berzerker over the ropes and out of the ring. Undertaker gets the tag, and he stuns Berzerker with a few Asiatic Thrusts before Choke slamming him. That brings in Shango, but Taker is ready as he kicks him in the gut, whips him into the ropes, and catches him with a diving clothesline. Now both Shango and Berzerker try to double team Undertaker, but that doesn't go well, as Taker holds them by the throats and Warrior clotheslines both men from behind. Warrior with a diving shoulder block on Berzerker, followed by a running splash, and that's enough to get the pinfall. Well, at least it was short. I'll give it a 1.1 out of 5.

P27- Beth Phoenix: Royal Rumble 2009 Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

The second Women's Title match in this post, Phoenix comes in as the champion to defend against a woman that Bret Hart once called the best wrestler in the world. Phoenix comes out with Santino Marella, so I'm pretty sure he'll get involved at some point. Tie-up to start, but Phoenix will have none of that and throws Melina down on her face. Melina tries a headlock, Phoenix powers out and then bearhugs Melina. Melina gets out and tries to take Phoenix down with a dropkick, but that doesn't work, and Phoenix shoulder blocks her instead. Phoenix attempts a side slam, but Melina spins her way out of it and surprises Phoenix with an armbar. After a few seconds of this, Phoenix gets tired of it and just stands up and throws Melina into the corner. Melina tries a victory roll, but Beth dumps her off and Melina lands oddly on her side. Melina crawls to the corner, and Phoenix then takes a page out of Umaga's playbook with a running hip bump, which only gets a one count.  Phoenix puts Melina on her stomach and tries to push Melina's own foot into the back of her head, and she succeeds in this quest, making Melina kick herself in the back of the head a few times. Well, I've never seen that before. Back up, Melina delivers a couple of kicks to Phoenix, but gets sideslammed and has to kick out at two. Phoenix presses Melina over her head, but Melina escpaes, and then messes up the next move before a bit of improvisation ends with Melina give Phoenix a jawjacker. Melina hits a few punches, ducks a clothesline and Sunset flips Phoenix over for a two count. Melina follows up with a double knee lift to the back and a running facebuster to get another two count. Phoenix backs Melina into the corner, only to take a boot to the face, followed by a seated senton. Melina tries for some bottoms-up type maneuver, but Phoenix escapes, chops Melina, but Melina comes back with a Rey Mysterio like roll up to get the victory and the Women's Championship. Not too bad, so I'll give it a 2 out of 5.

P27- Beverly Brothers: Beverly Brothers vs. Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake

The team of the Mega Maniacs face the men formerly and once again known as Mike Enos and Wayne Bloom, the Beverly Brothers, in this match from March 8, 1993. Beefcake and Blake Beverly start off, and Beefcake just has to strut before getting started. Actually, he does nothing and tags Hogan in. Tie-up to start, and Hogan wins that easily while Ross talks about Hogan losing weight in order to get quicker. Um, sure, whatever you say. Headlock by Hogan, Blake throws him off into the ropes only to take a shoulder block. Then Hogan and Beefcake decide to cheat so he thumbs Blake in the eye, and the duo does this a few times before Hogan gives Blake an atomic drop that sends him out of the ring. Beau comes in, and they repeat the sequence so both Beverlys regroup on the outside. Back in, Beefcake gets tagged in, only to take a knee to the gut and a scoop slam by Blake. Blake misses a couple of elbow drops, and Beefcake lands a few punches before tagging out to his protector Hogan, and the two do a Rockettes impression on Blake's poor face. Hogan continues to cheat with eye rakes and back rakes with a ten punch move in the corner mixed in there before tagging out. Double back elbow by the Maniacs, and Beefcake whips Blake again, but ducks and allows Blake to pound on his back and tag out to Beau. Beau connects with a double axe handle and some brawling tactics, then he gets the ref distracted, allowing Blake to choke Beefcake with the tag rope. Blake is tagged back in, snap mares Beefcake and goes for a diving headbutt, but misses. Beau is tagged in and goes to the top while Blake slams Beefcake down. He dives, but Beefcake gets a boot up. This allows Beefcake just enough time to get the hot tag to Hogan. Hogan hits three punches and a big boot on Beau, while Beefcake comes after Blake. With the ref distracted by Beefcake and Blake, Jimmy Hart tosses his megaphone to Hogan, who bashes Beau with it and gets the victory. Um, why exactly did Hogan have to cheat to beat the gosh darn Beverly Brothers? Post match, Hogan calls somebody a MFer, then the Maniacs pose for the crowd. This was dumb on many different levels. However, it's still better than Beaver Cleavage, so I'll give it a 0.8 out of 5.

Well, that's it for part 4 of the Big Bad WWE Encyclopedia Video Project. I'd like to give a shout out to the website http://www.thehistoryofwwe.com/, as it has a valuable source in helping me find out the exact dates when the videos I've been watching originally took place. Also, thanks to all of the uploaders of the various videos I've been watching. Well, if you have any thoughts about the 2BWE Video Project, or anything else at The Canon Review, than I'd be more than happy to read them, so feel free to leave a comment of send me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.