Canon Video Game Review: Ultimate Basketball (NES)

Sorry for the lack of activity the past couple of days, as I overdosed on Jon Voight movies and spent two days searching for Jon Voight's car. Anyway, today's review is of the first basketball video game that I ever owned and played, Ultimate Basketball. Released in 1990 for the Nintendo Entertainment System, Ultimate Basketball was developed and published by American Sammy, which produced various other games for the Nintendo and Super Nintendo over the years, including Jimmy Houston's Bass Tournament U.S.A. I remember playing Ultimate Basketball as a kid, but I also remember not liking it too much. I still have the cartridge around somewhere, but my NES doesn't work, so I must play on an emulator instead. Here's the cover for the game, courtesy of allgame.com:

Well, you can definitely tell that it's a basketball game. Anyway, in Ultimate Basketball, you can play either an exhibition game or a tournament. The game features seven fictional teams with fictional players, each team having different strengths and weaknesses. What they are, I don't know, since they all seem to play the same style of basketball, full-court press on defense and constantly driving to the hoop on offense. The graphics are not anything groundbreaking, and the players look and move like cro-magnon cavemen, but the game does have a horizontal view of the court and you can usually tell what's going on. There are certain plays, such as a dunk, three-pointer and free throw, that will change the view into a close up view of the action going on. When going up for a dunk, there's a meter that shows up, and you have to hit the shoot button at the right time or otherwise, you will miss. The controls are rather straightforward, although you have to hit the jump button twice to shoot, and there's not a button to steal the ball, as steals seem to happen at random. The music in the game is neither memorable or annoying, it's just there. The sound effects are mostly realistic for a basketball game, except the sound of a missed shot sounds nothing like a ball hitting the rim. Instead, it sound like the sound of a small hammer hitting a piece of scrap metal, if that makes any sense.

After playing the game, I suddenly remember why I didn't like this game in the first place. For one, passing the ball inbounds is nearly impossible, as the cpu opponent will steal it if you throw the ball to anyone that is not directly in front of you. It doesn't matter if you throw the ball to the left or the right, the ball will magically appear in the CPUs hands, and he'll go in for the easy dunk unless he misses. Speaking of which, there are way too many times where the cpu will go for the dunk, and the close-up animation will show up, and the computer won't even try for the dunk, instead just floating by the rim. Wouldn't it be more realistic if there was an animation of the player missing the dunk?

From there, it gets worse. Apparently, the CPU has an incredible ability to steal the ball. All he has to do is run up behind the player, get relatively close to him and poof! the ball is in his hands. Even if you're on a fast break, the computer will catch up with you nearly every time. However, if you try to do the same, you more than likely will either fail or get called for a foul. Actually, I got called for a lot of fouls on both ends, as apparently breathing on an opposing player will cause a file. The worst call happened when I had just inbounded the ball and was called for a charge, and all of a sudden, the cpu starts shooting free throws. I guess they changed the rules of basketball while I wasn't looking. Another rule change for this game is that jumpballs don't just occur at the beginning of the game, but rather at the beginning of each quarter. Who knew? One advantage that you have is that 75-foot shots are remarkably easy to make on this game, but that goes for the cpu as well. Even on the easiest level, the CPU' defense is sharp to the point of being unrealistic, while your non-controlled players seem to enjoy standing on the half court line and watching the other team go to the rim. Frustrating does not begin to describe this game. It's like being in a home run derby with Albert Pujols, and you have to use a wiffleball bat.

Overall, I must say that I do not like this game. Sure, there a couple of neat effects, like the dunk closeup shot and mini-game that goes along with it, and the game has decent graphics for an Nintendo basketball game. But the degree of difficulty and the cheapness of the A.I. is such that it makes the game completely unenjoyable, and not worth playing much more than one game. I'll give it a 2.09583 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com

Canon Movie Review: Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

This review came about because of an idea from reader Sonny V. He requested that I play the NES versions of both Back to the Future and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, and compare how closely those games follow the movie's script. Well, since I've seen Back to the Future recently, I pretty much know that script, but since it has been a long time since I've seen Bill and Ted, I decided I must familiarize myself with the film, and therefore made the decision to watch the movie. Also, since I'm watching it anyway, I might as well do a review about it. As it turns out, it was probably unnecessary since the plot is so simple that anyone with half a brain can understand it. Basically, two California teenage rockers have to pass their history report, or otherwise one of them, Ted "Theodore" Logan, will be sent to an Alaskan military school. However, the future depends on Ted and his partner in crime, Bill S. Preston ESQ. to stick together and perfect their rock music and the band the Wyld Stallyns. So George Carlin goes back in time and gives the two guys a time traveling phone booth to assist them on their report. They end up collecting a bunch of historical figures for their report, but various hyjinx ensues. So the rest of the movie has the two trying to make it to their school on time for the report. Got it? Good. Now here are a few thoughts on the movie.

- Bill's dad was a bit of a creep. For one thing, he married a girl that went to high school with his son. That's a mid-life crisis if I've ever heard of one. Another thing is that he gives Bill some money to go to the Circle K so he can do his wife Missy right on his bed. Hopefully, Bill changed his sheets once he got home. Come to think of it, Socrates and Sigmund Freud shouldn't be hitting on teenage girls at the mall either.

- Ted's father is a jerk as well. I understand that Ted's an underachiever and all that, but if you want to send your son all the way to Alaska, then you must really not want to deal with him anymore. I'm sure there are many military schools in California, but instead Mr. Logan wants to send his son all the way to Alaska. That's a bit extreme, don't you think?

- The portrayal of the various historical figures is rather interesting. Most of them seem to act as a stranger in a strange land, which many people probably would act like if they had been brought forward in time through a cramped phone booth. Billy the Kid, however, seems to take to time traveling rather quickly, even adopting some of Bill and Ted's language as his own.

- Meanwhile, Napoleon somehow got stuck with Ted's younger brother Deacon. Like any sane person would do with a French Emporer from the 1800s, Deacon decides to take Napoleon with him on a date with two girls. Napoleon eats a giant bowl of ice cream, and then they go bowling, where Napoleon knows nothing about the sport except how to cheat. Eventually, Deacon and girls ditch Napoleon at the bowling alley because, as Deacon told Ted later in the movie, "he was a dick" Probably the most accurate description of Napoleon in cinematic history.

- Towards the end of the movie, all of the historic figures brought forward in time get arrested for various crimes at a shopping mall. Genghis Kahn got arrested when he grabbed a metal bat and started beating a mannequin with it. He then proceeded to attack the mall cops, which isn't a good idea, even for Genghis Kahn. Most of them probably deserved it, but I was perplexed by Beethoven's arrest. All he did was put together a couple of keyboards and started playing them, to the amusement of the large crowd gathered around him. Sure, the owners would probably kick him out of the store after a while, but I don't see where he committed a crime serious enough to warrant arrest. If you ask me, those mall cops are a bunch of jerks, arresting Beethoven like that.

- Before Rufus (George Carlin) saves the day with his time machine, Bill and Ted decide that the best way to learn about history is to ask people at the Circle-K. I shudder to think what answers I would get if I tried this method at some of the gas stations in my area.

- Unlike most of his recent work, Keanu Reaves showed more than one emotion in this film. He even had a different look on his face besides the blank stare he always has. It was quite refreshing. Actually, both Reaves (Ted) and Alex Winter (Bill) were quite excellent in this film. Most of the actors did pretty good, with some minor exceptions (particularly the rescued princesses who were supposed to be attracted to the two, but looked as if they'd rather crawl through 100 yards of garbage). But overall, I can't complain too much.

Overall, this movie is very good for what it is. It's not a movie made to taken seriously, or to be remembered as an epic film like Citizen Kane. It's simply a fun film that provides some laughs and should entertain most audiences. I'll give this film a 7.5 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future posts, than either share them by leaving a comment or by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com. As a bonus, here's a video not from this movie, but rather it is from Mitchell. I should have posted it earlier, but what can you do? Anyway, this sequence was cut out of the MST3K version, and features Mitchell being chased by dune buggies. Enjoy:

Canon Video Game Review: Ninja Kid (NES)

It's a sad day here at The Canon Review, as Merlin Olsen, the man that played Benton the butler in Mitchell, has passed away. Sure, Olsen was a Hall of Fame defensive lineman in the NFL, who went on to have some success acting, but to me, he'll always be the butler that served cold coffee to his boss and got impaled on a boat hook by Joe Don Baker. RIP Merlin, you were not a lousy butler.

But while we mourn the loss of Benton, we must move on. Perhaps later today I will watch Mitchell, but I'm not sure yet. However, I did have the pleasure of playing the 1986 video game classic known as Ninja Kid. Released in 1986 for the Nintendo, Ninja Kid was developed and produced by Bandai. According to Wikipedia, Ninja Kid was based on a popular Japanese manga series at the time called GeGeGe No Kitaro, which is about a boy born in a graveyard who has one eye and has lived over 350 years, fighting the forces of evil with many weapons and powers. However, the developers decided to make this game more generic, as the game's main character is nameless and the levels are pretty generic. Here is the cover for Ninja Kid, courtesy of theoldcomputer.com

That kid has some interesting looking cheeks. Also, his shoes don't match, and he is shooting lightning. In the game, he doesn't shoot lightning so I think that's false advertising. It would have been a whole different ballgame if I could zap my opponents with a bolt of electricity, that's for sure, but I digress. The game starts with the lead character on a map, there are a few buildings up, but he can only go to the one closest to him, which is where the action begins. There are four different levels, and each level is random. The levels are each side scrolling affairs, and depending on the levels, you must complete a certain task in order to advance. For example, there's one level where you must collect 10 ghosts, and another level where you have to kill 10 enemies. The controls are rather simple, A jumps, B fires your weapon, and you move using the d-pad.

This game is rather difficult, because only one hit by any of your enemies will cause you to lose a life, and you only have three lives. Also, whereas your character can only shoot horizontally, your enemies can shoot vertically, horizontally, and diagonally, putting you at a great disadvantage. It would have helped if I had done some research on this game before playing it, as I just dove right in without any clue, and oftentimes I kept running around like a headless chicken because I was unaware of the different objectives required by the game. Also, this game cheats. At one point I was on an upper platform, when a skeleton comes from the ground, somehow flies up to right where I was standing and killed me. I didn't know ground dwelling skeletons could soar through the air like a bald eagle. Stupid game.

The graphics are what you would expect from a 1986 Nintendo side-scrolling platform game, they're not great, but I'd say the graphics were pretty good considering the game's timeframe. The audio kind of stinks, as they play this annoying song non-stop throughout the game, unless you get to a boss level, in which the music becomes only slightly less annoying.

Overall, this game is better than the last game I reviewed, but there's not a whole lot that makes me want to play it again. The story is bland, the levels change slightly, but not a whole lot, and the only real variety is the tasks you have to do to pass the levels. Plus, from what I read, this game never ends, as once you pass all the levels and bosses, it just starts over at a harder level. That kind of stinks. I'll give this a 4.12 out of 10, as the game is inoffensive enough (if a little difficult) but to me, it doesn't seem to have a lot of replay value. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future reviews or posts, or you would like to review something for The Canon Review (it can literally be anything you want to talk about), than e-mail me your ideas and or complaints at KtheC2001@gmail.com. I'll try to post something later tonight, to make up for yesterday's activity, so for the 4 to 7 people that read this blog, be prepared.