Hey, the Oscars were on three hours ago. I didn't watch them, but I'm sure they were great. The Hurt Locker won best picture, I haven't seen it, but I'm sure it was at least a good movie. Since the Oscars were today, I decided to pick at random a previous Oscar winner for Best Picture. To my surprise, the choice was Rocky, which won the Oscar in 1976. Even though I've seen it twice already, I had no problem seeing it a third time. A few thoughts about this movie:
- To me, it's quite an upset that this movie won the Best Picture Oscar. Just look at the other nominations, there's Network, Taxi Driver, All the President's Men, and Bound For Glory. That's a tough crowd there. I've never seen Bound for Glory, but the rest are very, very good movies. Not only that, but Rocky was a less polished film than any of these movies, and didn't have a big name actor like Robert Redford or a big time director like Sidney Lumet and Martin Scorsese. That the Oscar went to a movie written by and starring a struggling actor (Stallone was not regarded as leading man material at all, and the studio wanted a bigger name actor in the movie instead of some bit actor), is kind of a shock.
- Stallone did such a great acting job in this film. In a review for the film when it was released, Roger Ebert compared him to a young Marlon Brando, that's how good Stallone was in Rocky. Today, he's kind of considered a joke, or at the very least a bad actor. But he really nailed this role, and he wrote the screenplay to boot, although the final product is a bit different from his original script.
- Paulie was a real jerk in this film. He kept bugging Rocky to ask his loan shark boss Gallo for a job, he treats his sister like crap, constantly berating her for no good reason. When Rocky has the nerve to question his motives to Adrian (Paulie's sister). Paulie goes all berserk, smashing his house up with a bat until finally Adrian tells him off for all of his crap. There was more than one occasion where I hoped Rocky would have knocked him on his ass.
- Come to think of it, Mickey (Rocky's eventual manager) was a jerk too, kicking Rocky out of his locker and generally ragging on Rocky. It's only when Rocky lands the fight with Apollo Creed that Mickey offers any sort of help to him at all. But I guess that's just human nature.
- Carl Weathers was perfect in his role as Apollo Creed, the overconfident champion who decides to give Rocky a title shot after his original opponent breaks his hand five weeks before the fight. He even managed to pull off that ridiculous ring entrance (where Creed dresses like George Washington in a boat tossing coins into the crowd) without making it seem too unbelievable.
- In my opinion, the song in the workout montage "Gonna Fly Now" is one of the greatest background songs in the history of cinema. If there was ever a song that fit the movie, that was it. Much better than "Eye of the Tiger" (from Rocky 3), which is kind of cheesy. If I ever have to fight and come out to entrance music (which will never happen) "Gonna Fly Now" will be the song I come out to. If that song doesn't get you pumped up, than nothing will.
- Overall, this movie is great, just great. This movie is a classic. Even though it had some fierce competition, it was a worthy choice for Best Picture (personally, I think Network is just a little better, but I digress). This was Stallone's best work, as he was able to convincingly portray Rocky Balboa and make the audience care and root for him in the movie. The direction was great, the supporting actors played their parts well, and the movie never drags. I would give this a 9.13596460 out of 10.
Well, thanks for reading, if you have any ideas for future reviews, or any feedback, or if you want to review something yourself for The Canon Review, then e-mail me at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Well, I'm gonna fly now.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Canon Movie Review: I Know Who Killed Me
It's Oscar Weekend, and you know what that means? It's also Razzie Weekend. The Razzies are held the day before the Oscars, "honoring" the worst in film for the year. So, in honor of the Razzies, I decided I would choose a previous winner of worst picture at random and watch that movie. I was hoping for Mommie Dearest, or anything besides The Love Guru, really, but I ended up with the Lindsay Lohan classic, I Know Who Killed Me. I don't really like thriller movies or horror movies or whatever you call this crap, but dang it, I watched the movie anyway. After further review, it should have been called I Know What Killed My Career. I'm sure at least 500 people have already made that joke, but I don't care. A few thoughts about this movie:
-Like that show with Christian Slater, Lohan is two people, or rather two personas One is Audrey, an honor student who plays piano and writers short-stories, but quits playing the piano. She has a boyfriend, but is more focused on her future than anything else. Lately, she's been writing stories about another girl named Dakota, who is an underage stripper whose mom died of a drug overdose.
- One night after a football game, Audrey gets abducted by a serial killer, who proceeds to cut off one of her arms and one of her legs. She's found on the side of the road by a passenger and is taken to the hospital. But when she wakes up, Audrey claims to be Dakota. Oh NO!
- It was pretty obvious the director was trying to show off his artistic skills. Unfortunately, that didn't really help the plot at all, and got tiresome pretty quickly. Like I'm supposed to be impressed that they can stop a scene and change the color into a blue tint, and then quickly a red tint. Whoop-de-damn-doo.
- Another thing that the director did is beat the viewer over the head with the theme of color. Audrey is associated with blue and Dakota is associated with red. Therefore, whenever there's an Audrey scene, she's wearing blue, the walls are usually blue and so is the lighting, while as Dakota, she's wearing red, the lighting's red, etc, etc. The significance of this is never really properly explained. Guess it's one of those things above my head or something.
- I would call the FBI agents in this movie dumb, but that's an insult to dumb FBI Agents. These agents are also lazy, unmotivated, and clueless. The only detective work they do is yelling at Dakota for a minute and trying to blame her for any further punishment the killer might inflict. They don't really ask about who she was seen with or who could possibly have motive. The only thing they are good for is badgering victims and sucking at acting.
- Julia Ormond and Neal McDounagh play Aubrey's parents. They played there roles with the enthusiasm of someone who has already been paid up front. They looked bored, more than anything else.
- Aubrey's boyfriend comes to visit after the incident. Despite the fact that the girl has lost an arm and a leg in a traumatic manner, and has taken on a totally different persona, he has no problem doing the deed, if you know what I mean. Personally, I might have taken a step or two back, but to each their own. To make things almost comedic, the mother hears all the sounds coming from the horizontal gymastics display upstairs, and so she does the only thing she can, taking a sponge and vigorously scrubbing the sides of the sink. She probably could have gone into a room not directly below the bedroom, but I guess that would take too much effort.
- Lohan plays a stripper, and has a long sex scene, but never gets naked. Which is ok by me, but from what I read about the movie, that really cheesed a lot of people off. To each their own, I suppose.
- There was a scene early in the movie where Audrey interacts with the gardener at her house. In what appears to be an attempt at flirting, he takes off his shirt, picks up a tree branch, and simulates masturbation with it. Even with all of the blood and the limb removal scenes, that is the most disturbing scene in the movie.
- Crabman from My Name is Earl makes an appearance. He plays the Prosthetic Technician, helping Audrey/Dakota adjusts to her new limbs. That includes a battery powered leg, which apparently runs out of juice in about 10 minutes, since there were multiple occasions where it was out.
- All of this I could forgive, except for the fact that the movie came completely off the rails in the last 20 minutes or so. We at least know who the killer is, but really I had no idea if this was real or just another one of Audrey's crazy stories. The ending is quite ambiguous (and to be honest somewhat ridiculous), and I was hoping for at least some clarity.
Overall, I was expecting worse. After all, this movie won a record eight Razzie awards, and everything I had heard about this movie was that it was a big pile of suck. While it did suck, it wasn't a big pile of it. The main problems were that it was boring, and the characters, with the exception of Dakota, are one dimensional portrayals, and have little to no importance to the story. Also, the direction of this movie is too overhanded, and the plot, like I said, falls apart at the end. It's not one of those "so bad it's good" movies either, it's just flat and boring, more than anything else. Overall, I would give this movie about a 2.5 out of ten, as it did have the possibility to be a decent movie, but unfortunately, the movie fell into the wrong hands. I must say I have seen much worse movies, though.
Well, thanks for reading. If you have any ideas for future reviews or posts, than e-mail them to me at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Until next time, here's the trailer for I Know Who Killed Me:
-Like that show with Christian Slater, Lohan is two people, or rather two personas One is Audrey, an honor student who plays piano and writers short-stories, but quits playing the piano. She has a boyfriend, but is more focused on her future than anything else. Lately, she's been writing stories about another girl named Dakota, who is an underage stripper whose mom died of a drug overdose.
- One night after a football game, Audrey gets abducted by a serial killer, who proceeds to cut off one of her arms and one of her legs. She's found on the side of the road by a passenger and is taken to the hospital. But when she wakes up, Audrey claims to be Dakota. Oh NO!
- It was pretty obvious the director was trying to show off his artistic skills. Unfortunately, that didn't really help the plot at all, and got tiresome pretty quickly. Like I'm supposed to be impressed that they can stop a scene and change the color into a blue tint, and then quickly a red tint. Whoop-de-damn-doo.
- Another thing that the director did is beat the viewer over the head with the theme of color. Audrey is associated with blue and Dakota is associated with red. Therefore, whenever there's an Audrey scene, she's wearing blue, the walls are usually blue and so is the lighting, while as Dakota, she's wearing red, the lighting's red, etc, etc. The significance of this is never really properly explained. Guess it's one of those things above my head or something.
- I would call the FBI agents in this movie dumb, but that's an insult to dumb FBI Agents. These agents are also lazy, unmotivated, and clueless. The only detective work they do is yelling at Dakota for a minute and trying to blame her for any further punishment the killer might inflict. They don't really ask about who she was seen with or who could possibly have motive. The only thing they are good for is badgering victims and sucking at acting.
- Julia Ormond and Neal McDounagh play Aubrey's parents. They played there roles with the enthusiasm of someone who has already been paid up front. They looked bored, more than anything else.
- Aubrey's boyfriend comes to visit after the incident. Despite the fact that the girl has lost an arm and a leg in a traumatic manner, and has taken on a totally different persona, he has no problem doing the deed, if you know what I mean. Personally, I might have taken a step or two back, but to each their own. To make things almost comedic, the mother hears all the sounds coming from the horizontal gymastics display upstairs, and so she does the only thing she can, taking a sponge and vigorously scrubbing the sides of the sink. She probably could have gone into a room not directly below the bedroom, but I guess that would take too much effort.
- Lohan plays a stripper, and has a long sex scene, but never gets naked. Which is ok by me, but from what I read about the movie, that really cheesed a lot of people off. To each their own, I suppose.
- There was a scene early in the movie where Audrey interacts with the gardener at her house. In what appears to be an attempt at flirting, he takes off his shirt, picks up a tree branch, and simulates masturbation with it. Even with all of the blood and the limb removal scenes, that is the most disturbing scene in the movie.
- Crabman from My Name is Earl makes an appearance. He plays the Prosthetic Technician, helping Audrey/Dakota adjusts to her new limbs. That includes a battery powered leg, which apparently runs out of juice in about 10 minutes, since there were multiple occasions where it was out.
- All of this I could forgive, except for the fact that the movie came completely off the rails in the last 20 minutes or so. We at least know who the killer is, but really I had no idea if this was real or just another one of Audrey's crazy stories. The ending is quite ambiguous (and to be honest somewhat ridiculous), and I was hoping for at least some clarity.
Overall, I was expecting worse. After all, this movie won a record eight Razzie awards, and everything I had heard about this movie was that it was a big pile of suck. While it did suck, it wasn't a big pile of it. The main problems were that it was boring, and the characters, with the exception of Dakota, are one dimensional portrayals, and have little to no importance to the story. Also, the direction of this movie is too overhanded, and the plot, like I said, falls apart at the end. It's not one of those "so bad it's good" movies either, it's just flat and boring, more than anything else. Overall, I would give this movie about a 2.5 out of ten, as it did have the possibility to be a decent movie, but unfortunately, the movie fell into the wrong hands. I must say I have seen much worse movies, though.
Well, thanks for reading. If you have any ideas for future reviews or posts, than e-mail them to me at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Until next time, here's the trailer for I Know Who Killed Me:
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Let's talk about Arvydas Sabonis
Once upon a time not long ago there was a giant of a man that many felt could dominate the NBA. The only problem was, he was not playing in the NBA. For many years, Arvydas Sabonis was considered the best basketball player not in the NBA, a player that many experts thought could dominate the pro game. Legendary coach Bobby Knight called him "as good of a prospect as I've ever seen". The problem was, Sabonis was under the control of the Soviet Union, and there was no way the Soviet government would let their best player go to America. In 1989, the Soviets allowed Sabonis to play wherever he chose, but by then Sabonis had suffered serious leg injuries, and was worried if his legs could hold up to the grind of an NBA schedule. So Sabonis played in Spain for the next seven years. Finally in 1995, at the age of 31, Sabonis decided it was time to try the NBA, and signed with the Portland Trailblazers. He would spend seven years in the NBA and, while he never dominated the game, he did become a key player for a team that made the playoffs in each year that Sabonis played. With his world-class passing skills, and shooting range that extended past the three-point line, Sabonis had the skills of a guard in a 7'3" 290 pound frame. But by the time he reached the NBA, his legs became so bad that he was considered one of, if not the slowest player in the game. The question is, how would Sabonis have done in the NBA during his prime? We'll never know the answer to that question, but let's see some highlights of the big man in action.
First of all, you haven't lived until you've watched a video of basketball highlights sets to "Always" by Bon Jovi. A gutsy choice by the maker of this video, at least it's better than some crappy rap song that usually accommodates homemade basketball highlight videos. Anyway, the video shows highlights of Sabonis in both international play and with the Trailblazers. To me, Sabonis looks like a matchup nightmare for most centers, the rare center able to hit 3s on a consistent basis. His court vision is uncanny amongst big men, similar to Bill Walton, Sabonis could make a pass to a man cutting to the basket possibly better than any center in history. You could probably count on one hand the number of centers with the passing ability equal or greater than Sabonis. In his early days, Sabonis was a defensive force, but one thing I noticed in this video is that in his later days, Sabonis could not jump very high, and the act of jumping seemed to be painful for the big man. This was probably due to the tearing of his Achillies Tendon twice in the span of three months, as well as other severe leg and back injuries. Oh what could have been.
This video features an 18 year-old Sabonis playing for the U.S.S.R. in the final game of the 1983 World Jr. Championships against the USA. The commentary is in Spanish, and the quality isn't that good, but it will suffice. Our man Arvydas (wearing number 15 in red) moves very, very well for a 7'3" man. Due to his size and athleticism, he is able to contest many shots, and makes life difficult for his opponents. On offense, Sabonis displays a good, if not great, low-post game. He tends to use the backboard a lot on his shots in this video, which is something you don't see a whole lot of these days. The Americans often doubled Sabonis in the low post, but on one play, Sabonis splits the double team with ease, and brings down a thunderous one-handed dunk. He didn't quite have the passing down, and all of his shots were from 10 feet or less, so Sabonis didn't show off all of the skills he was known for. Nevertheless, for an 18-year old, Sabonis's game looked very polished in this clip.
Here we Sabonis in a fight from his earlier days in the Lithuanian Basketball League. Actually, it's not much of a fight, as Sabonis floors his foe with one punch and then everyone is separated. Why the video is three minutes long when two and a half minutes of the video is just guys standing around, I don't know. Anyway, Sabonis wins the fight, but gets ejected from the game.
Here's a video of Sabonis hitting a behind the back buzzer beating shot. Simple as that.
and here's Sabonis blowing by Shaq for a slam dunk.
Judging from what I've seen and the testimony of others, there is no doubt in my mind that Sabonis would have been an All-Star if he entered the NBA at 22 instead of at 31. At worst, Sabonis would have been a solid starter for a decade and at best, Sabonis would have been among the elite centers of his generation, along with Hakeem Olajuwon, David Robinson, Patrick Ewing, and Shaquille O'Neal. That's not bad company. Moreso, if Sabonis had joined the Blazers in 1986, there's a chance that they win at least 1 NBA Championship. After all, Sabonis was a better center than Kevin Duckworth, who was good but not great, and there were very few centers with the versatility to guard Sabonis effectively. Personally, if Sabonis is on the Trailblazers for the 1990 Finals, he very well could have made the difference against the Pistons. I don't see the Pistons centers, Bill Laimbeer and James Edwards, matching up well against Arvydas. But it's all just speculation now. What we do know is that Sabonis was one of the greatest passing centers in history, and one heck of a ball player.
Thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future posts, send them over to me via e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com. I will write about pretty much anything, even commercials about sponges if I have to.
First of all, you haven't lived until you've watched a video of basketball highlights sets to "Always" by Bon Jovi. A gutsy choice by the maker of this video, at least it's better than some crappy rap song that usually accommodates homemade basketball highlight videos. Anyway, the video shows highlights of Sabonis in both international play and with the Trailblazers. To me, Sabonis looks like a matchup nightmare for most centers, the rare center able to hit 3s on a consistent basis. His court vision is uncanny amongst big men, similar to Bill Walton, Sabonis could make a pass to a man cutting to the basket possibly better than any center in history. You could probably count on one hand the number of centers with the passing ability equal or greater than Sabonis. In his early days, Sabonis was a defensive force, but one thing I noticed in this video is that in his later days, Sabonis could not jump very high, and the act of jumping seemed to be painful for the big man. This was probably due to the tearing of his Achillies Tendon twice in the span of three months, as well as other severe leg and back injuries. Oh what could have been.
This video features an 18 year-old Sabonis playing for the U.S.S.R. in the final game of the 1983 World Jr. Championships against the USA. The commentary is in Spanish, and the quality isn't that good, but it will suffice. Our man Arvydas (wearing number 15 in red) moves very, very well for a 7'3" man. Due to his size and athleticism, he is able to contest many shots, and makes life difficult for his opponents. On offense, Sabonis displays a good, if not great, low-post game. He tends to use the backboard a lot on his shots in this video, which is something you don't see a whole lot of these days. The Americans often doubled Sabonis in the low post, but on one play, Sabonis splits the double team with ease, and brings down a thunderous one-handed dunk. He didn't quite have the passing down, and all of his shots were from 10 feet or less, so Sabonis didn't show off all of the skills he was known for. Nevertheless, for an 18-year old, Sabonis's game looked very polished in this clip.
Here we Sabonis in a fight from his earlier days in the Lithuanian Basketball League. Actually, it's not much of a fight, as Sabonis floors his foe with one punch and then everyone is separated. Why the video is three minutes long when two and a half minutes of the video is just guys standing around, I don't know. Anyway, Sabonis wins the fight, but gets ejected from the game.
Here's a video of Sabonis hitting a behind the back buzzer beating shot. Simple as that.
and here's Sabonis blowing by Shaq for a slam dunk.
Judging from what I've seen and the testimony of others, there is no doubt in my mind that Sabonis would have been an All-Star if he entered the NBA at 22 instead of at 31. At worst, Sabonis would have been a solid starter for a decade and at best, Sabonis would have been among the elite centers of his generation, along with Hakeem Olajuwon, David Robinson, Patrick Ewing, and Shaquille O'Neal. That's not bad company. Moreso, if Sabonis had joined the Blazers in 1986, there's a chance that they win at least 1 NBA Championship. After all, Sabonis was a better center than Kevin Duckworth, who was good but not great, and there were very few centers with the versatility to guard Sabonis effectively. Personally, if Sabonis is on the Trailblazers for the 1990 Finals, he very well could have made the difference against the Pistons. I don't see the Pistons centers, Bill Laimbeer and James Edwards, matching up well against Arvydas. But it's all just speculation now. What we do know is that Sabonis was one of the greatest passing centers in history, and one heck of a ball player.
Thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future posts, send them over to me via e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com. I will write about pretty much anything, even commercials about sponges if I have to.
Friday, March 5, 2010
WCW Road Wild: August 8, 1998
WCW Road Wild 98 took me about five hours to watch, for various reasons. Some of which were beyond my control, others were because I felt like doing something else for a few minutes. But by golly, I did watch the whole show, and it was quite a show indeed. WCW Road Wild was held in Sturgis, South Dakota during the world famous Sturgis Bike Rally. Admission was free, and many fans could just ride in on their Harleys and sit on their bikes the whole show. The whole thing was an excuse for Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan to ride their motorcycles and attend the bike rally. Seriously, they held a wrestling card, charging nothing for tickets, just so they could be big shots at a motorcycle rally, yet people still wonder why WCW could fail. Maybe because of bonehead decisions like this. To their credit, it was a pay-per-view event, so it wasn't a total loss, I guess. Anyway, Road Wild 98 featured the one and only wrestling match of Jay Leno, who team with Diamond Dallas Page against Hogan and Bischoff in the main event. At least Leno is a much bigger name than future WCW Champion David Arquette, so that's something. On with the show.
Meng vs. Barbarian (w/ Jimmy Hart)
Our hosts for the evening are Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, and Bobby Heenan. Schiavone tries to look cool in a leather jacket, but fails. Tenay is wearing a denim jacket over a denim shirt. He couldn't have look more like a sex offender if he tried. Heenan is probably drunk. Our first match is between the Barbarian and Meng, in a battle to determine who is the best face of fear. Barbarian comes out with Jimmy Hart. This match had a lot of headbutts and chops. Barbarian did a swank belly-to-belly suplex off the top rope. Meng gets out at two, Meng hits a powerslam, but only gets a two. Jimmy Hart keeps climbing on the ring apron, and nobody ever reacts to it. Finish comes after Barbarian calls for a kick of fear, but Meng instead gets the Tongan Death Grip for the pin. Jimmy Hart and Hugh Morrus come in to beat on Meng. Hart dives off the top onto Meng with the worst body splash in the year of 1998, and Morrus grazes Meng with a moonsault. Jim Duggan (huh?) comes in for the save, and chases off everyone with his wood. Meng doesn't even thank Duggan for his assistance, the jerk. Best match of the night, and by that I mean it was the best match of the night so far.
Disco Inferno and Alex Wright (w/ Magnum Tokyo) vs. Public Enemy
Disco gets a few cheers, which is surprising because he's wrestling in front of a bunch of macho bikers. The crowd doesn't care for Wright, however. The announcers claim that Public Enemy will be fan favorites, because hey, who doesn't like a couple of fat white guys pretending to be black more than bikers. I am proven wrong, as TPE gets a nice reaction. The teams start out wrestling, and Disco and Alex dance a lot. At one point Wright hit a missile dropkick on Grunge for a two count, and the crowd couldn't care less. For some reason, Tokyo gets a trash can and Wright nails Rocco Rock in the back. Surely that's a disqualification, right? Nope, referee Mark Curtis changes it to an impromptu street fight. The result is what one would think a hardcore match involving Disco Inferno and Alex Wright would be, dumb. I think this match set a record for most times somebody got hit in the back with a trash can. At one point, Wright walks off because Magnum accidentally hit him, then Magnum leaves, leaving Disco alone. Public Enemy sets up three tables on top of each other outside the ring, and pulls Disco up a ladder so they can set on the stack. Rocco climbs up a lighting rig, and drops an elbow on Disco through the three tables. Grunge has the drag him back in for the count. He covers Disco, but Magnum tries to break up the cover with a top rope splash, Grunge moves, Tokyo splashes Disco, and then Grunge gets the three count. Why they added that in the match, I don't know. This match was 15 minutes long and felt like an hour.
Match 3: Raven vs. Saturn vs. Kanyon (Raven's Rules, Falls Count Anywhere in Sturgis)
This match is to determine the superior single named wrestler whose name in with an n. Actually, Saturn hates Raven, Kanyon hates Saturn but supposedly is in cahoots with Raven. Raven tells Kanyon to get Saturn, but changes his mind a minute later and posts Kanyon. The first couple of minutes mainly consist of Kanyon and Saturn wrestling while Raven sits in the corner. Well, the other two wrestlers eventually have enough of this, so Kanyon dropkicks Raven in his junk. The two then team up on Raven. I mark out for the Total Elimination (finisher of Saturn's ECW Tag Team, The Eliminators), but nobody else seems to care. Raven kicks out at two just to further frustrate me. I don't care if the match is over 10 years old, I'm still angry about it. Eventually they go to the outside. There's some piledrivers and suplexes on the stage, but it seems as if everyone's just going through the motions. Heenan wishes an 18-wheeler with no breaks would come down the ramp. I guess Heenan's not a fan of any of these guys. They get back to the inside, Saturn gets a sleeper hold on Raven, Kanyon puts Saturn in the sleeper as well, but Raven counters with a jawbreaker, sending everyone down. They also do a stack superplex spot as well, but nobody seems to give a crap. Heenan says he wishes he was in the match so he could "give up and end it". Kanyon and Raven fight on the outside, Kanyon suplexes Raven, climbs up another lighting rig for a splash, but Lodi moves Raven out of the way. Raven comes back in, only for Saturn to hit a Death Valley Driver on him. Lodi comes in to break the three count, but Saturn disposes of him. Horace Boulder comes in with a stop sign, but puts the sign down to club Saturn. Wait, Horace has the sign, and Lodi has some cocaine (it's just powder, but considering what happens next, it would make more sense if it were cocaine). Horace goes to hit Saturn with the sign while Lodi tries to throw cocaine in Saturn's eyes, Saturn ducks, Horace stops, than the cocaine hits him and kicks in, so he hits Lodi about 10 seconds after Saturn moved. Horace tries again to stop Saturn, but hits Raven instead. Saturn then dumps Horace on his neck with a german suplex, before hitting another DVD on Raven for the three count. On paper, this match looked like it could have been good, but in reality, it was average at best. I still didn't hate it as much as Bobby Heenan did.
Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Psychosis (Winner gets a match for the Cruiserweight Title)
Nobody bothered to clean the cocaine out of the ring. These two have had a ton of great matches together. This wasn't really one of them. I don't know if it was the heat outside or the fact that Rey's just coming off of knee surgery or something else, but this match was about as slow-paced as Meng vs. Barbarian. Just not what you would hope for from two guys who you know can do so much better. There were a couple of cool moves towards the end, including an electric chair drop with a bridge from Psychosis, and a sweet springboard hilo from Rey. The end came with Misterio doing a springboard hurracanrana and dropping poor Psychosis right on his noggin for the three count. That looked like it hurt. Match was decent, but as I said before, these two have had much better matches than this.
Stevie Ray vs. Chavo Guerrero (WCW TV Title Match even though Booker T is TV Champion)
This match is for a title that neither man holds, as Stevie's brother Booker T is officially Television Champion, but Stevie has been defending it on his behalf, much to the bewilderment of the three idiots in the booth. Chavo comes out with a leather vest and leather hat. I would call this his Chavo Guerrero Hard Gay look. Stevie comes out with a leather hat as well. Chavo tries to shake hands, but Stevie Ray doesn't want to. The match is just three minutes of Chavo running around dodging Stevie Ray. That is, until Stevie finally catches him and hits him with the "Slapjack" which is kind of like a pedigree, only Stevie lifts his opponent off the ground before driving him into the mat. Stevie gets the three count, promises more pain for Chavo, but Eddie Guerrero comes out to stop him. Stevie walks away. Chavo doesn't trust Eddy, though. Lee Marshall talks to Chris Jericho, and Jericho says some mumbo jumbo about he's going to whoop Juvi later on tonight, even though Deano Machino Malenko is the special guest referee.
Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner was scheduled, but Scott was hurt. Scott was pushed out in a hospital bed with an IV hooked up by Buff Bagwell. J.J. Dillon comes out and says that the match will take place at Fall Brawl, which doesn't please the live crowd any because they won't be there. Dillon says if Scott doesn't wrestle at Fall Brawl, he will be barred from wrestling, which causes Steiner to rise out of his bed. Whoopee.
Bryan Adams (w/ Vincent) vs. Steve "Mongo" McMichael
I've been trying to think of a match I'd rather not see, with the roster WCW had at the time. The only match I could think of is McMichael vs. Van Hammer, but even that might be more entertaining than this atrocity. I'm convinced this match was the result of a bet amongst the WCW Booking Committee to see who could book the worst possible match. I can't believe WCW charged people to see Mongo wrestle Bryan Adams. This match was as bad as you would expect. My favorite part was when they managed to mess up an entire sequence of moves. Adams screwed up a missed clothesline by punching Mongo in the gut, Mongo tries to shoulder block him but ends up short, and the whole mess ends with Mongo giving Adams a shoot DDT. Another high point in the match is when Adams leg drops McMichael, walks around Mongo in a circle, and without any other better ideas, legdrops Mongo again. Schiavone tries to claim that Bryan Adams can wrestle, which I guess is technically true, but he sure as hell isn't any good at it. At the finish the ref is somehow kicked by Mongo while Adams is attempting a piledriver, Vincent gets on the apron with a chair. Adams holds Mongo, but Mongo ducks and Vincent gently taps Adams with the chair. Mongo hits the Mongo Spike on Adams (tombstone piledriver, in case anyone has forgotten) and gets the victory. This match sucked hard. It was so bad I nearly cried.
Chris Jericho vs. Juventud Guerrera (WCW Cruiserweight Title Match, Special Ref: Dean Malenko)
This was during the Jericho-Malenko feud where each man was getting huge reactions but neither man could get past the mid-card because WCW couldn't recognize a good thing if it punched them in the face. Anyway, Jericho manages to get some reaction out of the bikers saying that he drove his Honda motorcycle to Sturgis and that he doesn't want to wrestle in front of a bunch of weekend warriors. It's funny because it's true, but everyone revs up their bike, probably causing the poor bastards behind them to breathe in the exhaust fumes. Bunch of jerks. This match is better than the last match, which wasn't hard, as these two actually hit three moves without messing something up. Actually this was the best match of the night, even if Jericho was stalling big-time after about five minutes. Still, there were a lot of things to like about this match, including Jericho's gorilla press into a tombstone, and a brutal looking double powerbomb on Juvi that made Juventud bounce off the mat. Juvi comes back with a DDT, and then hits a Juvi Driver that nearly puts Jericho on his head, but luckily he adjusted at the last second. Jericho kicks out, and then counters a huracanrana with the Liontamer, but Juvi gets to the ropes. Jericho thinks he has the match won, and demands Malenko to raise his hand, but Deano won't do it. They wrestle into the corner, Juvi beats on Jericho, but Malenko pulls him away. Juvi inadvertently pokes him in the eyes, giving Jericho an opening to hit Guerrera with the Title Belt. Jericho gets Malenko's attention by slapping him, getting the ire of the referee. He eventually counts the pin, but Guerrera kicked out. They end up in another corner, Jericho perched on the top rope. Dean pulls off Juvi, and for some reason Jericho kicks Malenko off. This allows Juvi to charge at Malenko, who hurls Juvi into the air onto Jericho to hit a huracanrana off the top rope. Guerrera covers, and gets the three count. Afterwards Jericho argues with Malenko, but he gets decked for his efforts. That was a good match right there, not a classic, but a lot better than most of this dreck.
Nine-Man Battle Royal: The Giant, Curt Hennig, Scott Norton, Scott Hall, (nWo Hollywood) Kevin Nash, Sting, Konnan, Lex Luger, (nwo Wolfpac), Goldberg (WCW)
Pinfalls and Top-Rope Eliminations both count in this battle royal. For reasons beyond my understanding, the crew at WCW decided to most of their big draws in the same match. It would have been a lot better for everyone if they just had Goldberg wrestle the Giant, and maybe put a tag match with say, Hall and Hennig vs. Nash and Sting in place of Mongo-Adams. As it is it's just a match that does nothing for a lot of these guys and isn't very good to boot. The focus was on Goldberg, as the announcers made a big deal about how Goldberg's never been in a battle royal, so his undefeated streak might end tonight. Also, Hall and Nash were in the middle of a feud that eventually would go nowhere, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Goldberg eliminates Hall with a backdrop, and Nash decides to eliminate himself to go after Hall. Smooth move there, Kevin. Everybody punches everybody for a while, until Goldberg spears and eliminates Konnan. To the shock of the crowd, Hennig nearly eliminated Goldberg, but Bill fights out of it and dumps Hennig. Goldberg goes over and dumps both Sting and Norton over the top. So Sting, only one of their top three draws, at the least, gets treated as if he's just another faceless henchman. That's smart. Luger gets speared by Goldberg and the Giant eliminates him, leaving Goldberg and The Giant alone. The Giant chokeslams Goldberg, but Goldberg sits up like the Undertaker or something. He then spears the big man, and even puts The Giant in the Jackhammer, which nearly causes Schiavone to orgasm on air. Goldberg wins, eliminating six guys and looking unstoppable in the process, much to the delight of the bikers in the crowd. Match was what it was, neither all that good or all that bad.
Diamond Dallas Page and Jay Leno (w/ Kevin Eubanks) vs. Hollywood Hogan and Eric Bischoff (w/ The Disciple and Miss Elizabeth)
As far as matches involving celebrities goes, this wasn't the worst. It was far from the best, but it wasn't the worst. At the very least, it was better than Mongo v. Adams and Public Enemy v. Wright and Disco. Kevin Eubanks came out in a sleeveless shirt, and had some guns on him, I tell you what. The match was mostly Hogan vs. Page, they'd hit a few spots and go on from there. The announcers kept pimping Bischoff's karate background, but he looked so goofy with his kicks that I have a hard time believing he ever took a class, much less is some sort of karate master. Leno got in a few times, kept pointing to his chin (he must have pointed to it 30 times during the match) and did an arm twist on Hogan and hit Bischoff with a couple of punches that looked like crap. At the end, Bischoff holds Leno as Hogan tries to wallop Leno, but Leno ducks (I swear, they used that same spot, or at least a variation of it, in every single match on the show. It gets kind of old seeing the same spot for the 8th or 9th time). Anyway, Page clotheslines Hogan over the top rope. Eubanks comes in, hits Bischoff with a Diamond Cutter that actually looked halfway decent. Leno covers Bischoff and gets the three count. After the match, Hogan and Bischoff attack the faces, but Goldberg comes in and delivers a double spear to Hogan and Bischoff to make the save. Goldberg, DDP, Leno, and Eubanks stand tall in the ring, and that's the end of the show.
Well, that was an adventure. To my surprise, Jay Leno did not wrestle in the worst match in the show. Leno would go back to his day job, leaving WCW with a 1-0 record. Unlike Mongo and Bryan Adams, Leno was also able to hit all of his moves cleanly, even if some of them looked a little rough. This was not that great of a wrestling show. The only match I would recommend seeing is Jericho vs. Juvi, which was good, but not great. Overall, I'd give the whole show about a 2.4 out of 10. Thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future posts, than let me know via e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com. To end this post, here is a video of Jericho vs. Juvi, just in case you want to see it.
Juventud Guerrera vs. Chris Jericho-Cruiserweight title
Uploaded by Stinger1981. - More professional, college and classic sports videos.
Meng vs. Barbarian (w/ Jimmy Hart)
Our hosts for the evening are Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, and Bobby Heenan. Schiavone tries to look cool in a leather jacket, but fails. Tenay is wearing a denim jacket over a denim shirt. He couldn't have look more like a sex offender if he tried. Heenan is probably drunk. Our first match is between the Barbarian and Meng, in a battle to determine who is the best face of fear. Barbarian comes out with Jimmy Hart. This match had a lot of headbutts and chops. Barbarian did a swank belly-to-belly suplex off the top rope. Meng gets out at two, Meng hits a powerslam, but only gets a two. Jimmy Hart keeps climbing on the ring apron, and nobody ever reacts to it. Finish comes after Barbarian calls for a kick of fear, but Meng instead gets the Tongan Death Grip for the pin. Jimmy Hart and Hugh Morrus come in to beat on Meng. Hart dives off the top onto Meng with the worst body splash in the year of 1998, and Morrus grazes Meng with a moonsault. Jim Duggan (huh?) comes in for the save, and chases off everyone with his wood. Meng doesn't even thank Duggan for his assistance, the jerk. Best match of the night, and by that I mean it was the best match of the night so far.
Disco Inferno and Alex Wright (w/ Magnum Tokyo) vs. Public Enemy
Disco gets a few cheers, which is surprising because he's wrestling in front of a bunch of macho bikers. The crowd doesn't care for Wright, however. The announcers claim that Public Enemy will be fan favorites, because hey, who doesn't like a couple of fat white guys pretending to be black more than bikers. I am proven wrong, as TPE gets a nice reaction. The teams start out wrestling, and Disco and Alex dance a lot. At one point Wright hit a missile dropkick on Grunge for a two count, and the crowd couldn't care less. For some reason, Tokyo gets a trash can and Wright nails Rocco Rock in the back. Surely that's a disqualification, right? Nope, referee Mark Curtis changes it to an impromptu street fight. The result is what one would think a hardcore match involving Disco Inferno and Alex Wright would be, dumb. I think this match set a record for most times somebody got hit in the back with a trash can. At one point, Wright walks off because Magnum accidentally hit him, then Magnum leaves, leaving Disco alone. Public Enemy sets up three tables on top of each other outside the ring, and pulls Disco up a ladder so they can set on the stack. Rocco climbs up a lighting rig, and drops an elbow on Disco through the three tables. Grunge has the drag him back in for the count. He covers Disco, but Magnum tries to break up the cover with a top rope splash, Grunge moves, Tokyo splashes Disco, and then Grunge gets the three count. Why they added that in the match, I don't know. This match was 15 minutes long and felt like an hour.
Match 3: Raven vs. Saturn vs. Kanyon (Raven's Rules, Falls Count Anywhere in Sturgis)
This match is to determine the superior single named wrestler whose name in with an n. Actually, Saturn hates Raven, Kanyon hates Saturn but supposedly is in cahoots with Raven. Raven tells Kanyon to get Saturn, but changes his mind a minute later and posts Kanyon. The first couple of minutes mainly consist of Kanyon and Saturn wrestling while Raven sits in the corner. Well, the other two wrestlers eventually have enough of this, so Kanyon dropkicks Raven in his junk. The two then team up on Raven. I mark out for the Total Elimination (finisher of Saturn's ECW Tag Team, The Eliminators), but nobody else seems to care. Raven kicks out at two just to further frustrate me. I don't care if the match is over 10 years old, I'm still angry about it. Eventually they go to the outside. There's some piledrivers and suplexes on the stage, but it seems as if everyone's just going through the motions. Heenan wishes an 18-wheeler with no breaks would come down the ramp. I guess Heenan's not a fan of any of these guys. They get back to the inside, Saturn gets a sleeper hold on Raven, Kanyon puts Saturn in the sleeper as well, but Raven counters with a jawbreaker, sending everyone down. They also do a stack superplex spot as well, but nobody seems to give a crap. Heenan says he wishes he was in the match so he could "give up and end it". Kanyon and Raven fight on the outside, Kanyon suplexes Raven, climbs up another lighting rig for a splash, but Lodi moves Raven out of the way. Raven comes back in, only for Saturn to hit a Death Valley Driver on him. Lodi comes in to break the three count, but Saturn disposes of him. Horace Boulder comes in with a stop sign, but puts the sign down to club Saturn. Wait, Horace has the sign, and Lodi has some cocaine (it's just powder, but considering what happens next, it would make more sense if it were cocaine). Horace goes to hit Saturn with the sign while Lodi tries to throw cocaine in Saturn's eyes, Saturn ducks, Horace stops, than the cocaine hits him and kicks in, so he hits Lodi about 10 seconds after Saturn moved. Horace tries again to stop Saturn, but hits Raven instead. Saturn then dumps Horace on his neck with a german suplex, before hitting another DVD on Raven for the three count. On paper, this match looked like it could have been good, but in reality, it was average at best. I still didn't hate it as much as Bobby Heenan did.
Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Psychosis (Winner gets a match for the Cruiserweight Title)
Nobody bothered to clean the cocaine out of the ring. These two have had a ton of great matches together. This wasn't really one of them. I don't know if it was the heat outside or the fact that Rey's just coming off of knee surgery or something else, but this match was about as slow-paced as Meng vs. Barbarian. Just not what you would hope for from two guys who you know can do so much better. There were a couple of cool moves towards the end, including an electric chair drop with a bridge from Psychosis, and a sweet springboard hilo from Rey. The end came with Misterio doing a springboard hurracanrana and dropping poor Psychosis right on his noggin for the three count. That looked like it hurt. Match was decent, but as I said before, these two have had much better matches than this.
Stevie Ray vs. Chavo Guerrero (WCW TV Title Match even though Booker T is TV Champion)
This match is for a title that neither man holds, as Stevie's brother Booker T is officially Television Champion, but Stevie has been defending it on his behalf, much to the bewilderment of the three idiots in the booth. Chavo comes out with a leather vest and leather hat. I would call this his Chavo Guerrero Hard Gay look. Stevie comes out with a leather hat as well. Chavo tries to shake hands, but Stevie Ray doesn't want to. The match is just three minutes of Chavo running around dodging Stevie Ray. That is, until Stevie finally catches him and hits him with the "Slapjack" which is kind of like a pedigree, only Stevie lifts his opponent off the ground before driving him into the mat. Stevie gets the three count, promises more pain for Chavo, but Eddie Guerrero comes out to stop him. Stevie walks away. Chavo doesn't trust Eddy, though. Lee Marshall talks to Chris Jericho, and Jericho says some mumbo jumbo about he's going to whoop Juvi later on tonight, even though Deano Machino Malenko is the special guest referee.
Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner was scheduled, but Scott was hurt. Scott was pushed out in a hospital bed with an IV hooked up by Buff Bagwell. J.J. Dillon comes out and says that the match will take place at Fall Brawl, which doesn't please the live crowd any because they won't be there. Dillon says if Scott doesn't wrestle at Fall Brawl, he will be barred from wrestling, which causes Steiner to rise out of his bed. Whoopee.
Bryan Adams (w/ Vincent) vs. Steve "Mongo" McMichael
I've been trying to think of a match I'd rather not see, with the roster WCW had at the time. The only match I could think of is McMichael vs. Van Hammer, but even that might be more entertaining than this atrocity. I'm convinced this match was the result of a bet amongst the WCW Booking Committee to see who could book the worst possible match. I can't believe WCW charged people to see Mongo wrestle Bryan Adams. This match was as bad as you would expect. My favorite part was when they managed to mess up an entire sequence of moves. Adams screwed up a missed clothesline by punching Mongo in the gut, Mongo tries to shoulder block him but ends up short, and the whole mess ends with Mongo giving Adams a shoot DDT. Another high point in the match is when Adams leg drops McMichael, walks around Mongo in a circle, and without any other better ideas, legdrops Mongo again. Schiavone tries to claim that Bryan Adams can wrestle, which I guess is technically true, but he sure as hell isn't any good at it. At the finish the ref is somehow kicked by Mongo while Adams is attempting a piledriver, Vincent gets on the apron with a chair. Adams holds Mongo, but Mongo ducks and Vincent gently taps Adams with the chair. Mongo hits the Mongo Spike on Adams (tombstone piledriver, in case anyone has forgotten) and gets the victory. This match sucked hard. It was so bad I nearly cried.
Chris Jericho vs. Juventud Guerrera (WCW Cruiserweight Title Match, Special Ref: Dean Malenko)
This was during the Jericho-Malenko feud where each man was getting huge reactions but neither man could get past the mid-card because WCW couldn't recognize a good thing if it punched them in the face. Anyway, Jericho manages to get some reaction out of the bikers saying that he drove his Honda motorcycle to Sturgis and that he doesn't want to wrestle in front of a bunch of weekend warriors. It's funny because it's true, but everyone revs up their bike, probably causing the poor bastards behind them to breathe in the exhaust fumes. Bunch of jerks. This match is better than the last match, which wasn't hard, as these two actually hit three moves without messing something up. Actually this was the best match of the night, even if Jericho was stalling big-time after about five minutes. Still, there were a lot of things to like about this match, including Jericho's gorilla press into a tombstone, and a brutal looking double powerbomb on Juvi that made Juventud bounce off the mat. Juvi comes back with a DDT, and then hits a Juvi Driver that nearly puts Jericho on his head, but luckily he adjusted at the last second. Jericho kicks out, and then counters a huracanrana with the Liontamer, but Juvi gets to the ropes. Jericho thinks he has the match won, and demands Malenko to raise his hand, but Deano won't do it. They wrestle into the corner, Juvi beats on Jericho, but Malenko pulls him away. Juvi inadvertently pokes him in the eyes, giving Jericho an opening to hit Guerrera with the Title Belt. Jericho gets Malenko's attention by slapping him, getting the ire of the referee. He eventually counts the pin, but Guerrera kicked out. They end up in another corner, Jericho perched on the top rope. Dean pulls off Juvi, and for some reason Jericho kicks Malenko off. This allows Juvi to charge at Malenko, who hurls Juvi into the air onto Jericho to hit a huracanrana off the top rope. Guerrera covers, and gets the three count. Afterwards Jericho argues with Malenko, but he gets decked for his efforts. That was a good match right there, not a classic, but a lot better than most of this dreck.
Nine-Man Battle Royal: The Giant, Curt Hennig, Scott Norton, Scott Hall, (nWo Hollywood) Kevin Nash, Sting, Konnan, Lex Luger, (nwo Wolfpac), Goldberg (WCW)
Pinfalls and Top-Rope Eliminations both count in this battle royal. For reasons beyond my understanding, the crew at WCW decided to most of their big draws in the same match. It would have been a lot better for everyone if they just had Goldberg wrestle the Giant, and maybe put a tag match with say, Hall and Hennig vs. Nash and Sting in place of Mongo-Adams. As it is it's just a match that does nothing for a lot of these guys and isn't very good to boot. The focus was on Goldberg, as the announcers made a big deal about how Goldberg's never been in a battle royal, so his undefeated streak might end tonight. Also, Hall and Nash were in the middle of a feud that eventually would go nowhere, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Goldberg eliminates Hall with a backdrop, and Nash decides to eliminate himself to go after Hall. Smooth move there, Kevin. Everybody punches everybody for a while, until Goldberg spears and eliminates Konnan. To the shock of the crowd, Hennig nearly eliminated Goldberg, but Bill fights out of it and dumps Hennig. Goldberg goes over and dumps both Sting and Norton over the top. So Sting, only one of their top three draws, at the least, gets treated as if he's just another faceless henchman. That's smart. Luger gets speared by Goldberg and the Giant eliminates him, leaving Goldberg and The Giant alone. The Giant chokeslams Goldberg, but Goldberg sits up like the Undertaker or something. He then spears the big man, and even puts The Giant in the Jackhammer, which nearly causes Schiavone to orgasm on air. Goldberg wins, eliminating six guys and looking unstoppable in the process, much to the delight of the bikers in the crowd. Match was what it was, neither all that good or all that bad.
Diamond Dallas Page and Jay Leno (w/ Kevin Eubanks) vs. Hollywood Hogan and Eric Bischoff (w/ The Disciple and Miss Elizabeth)
As far as matches involving celebrities goes, this wasn't the worst. It was far from the best, but it wasn't the worst. At the very least, it was better than Mongo v. Adams and Public Enemy v. Wright and Disco. Kevin Eubanks came out in a sleeveless shirt, and had some guns on him, I tell you what. The match was mostly Hogan vs. Page, they'd hit a few spots and go on from there. The announcers kept pimping Bischoff's karate background, but he looked so goofy with his kicks that I have a hard time believing he ever took a class, much less is some sort of karate master. Leno got in a few times, kept pointing to his chin (he must have pointed to it 30 times during the match) and did an arm twist on Hogan and hit Bischoff with a couple of punches that looked like crap. At the end, Bischoff holds Leno as Hogan tries to wallop Leno, but Leno ducks (I swear, they used that same spot, or at least a variation of it, in every single match on the show. It gets kind of old seeing the same spot for the 8th or 9th time). Anyway, Page clotheslines Hogan over the top rope. Eubanks comes in, hits Bischoff with a Diamond Cutter that actually looked halfway decent. Leno covers Bischoff and gets the three count. After the match, Hogan and Bischoff attack the faces, but Goldberg comes in and delivers a double spear to Hogan and Bischoff to make the save. Goldberg, DDP, Leno, and Eubanks stand tall in the ring, and that's the end of the show.
Well, that was an adventure. To my surprise, Jay Leno did not wrestle in the worst match in the show. Leno would go back to his day job, leaving WCW with a 1-0 record. Unlike Mongo and Bryan Adams, Leno was also able to hit all of his moves cleanly, even if some of them looked a little rough. This was not that great of a wrestling show. The only match I would recommend seeing is Jericho vs. Juvi, which was good, but not great. Overall, I'd give the whole show about a 2.4 out of 10. Thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future posts, than let me know via e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com. To end this post, here is a video of Jericho vs. Juvi, just in case you want to see it.
Juventud Guerrera vs. Chris Jericho-Cruiserweight title
Uploaded by Stinger1981. - More professional, college and classic sports videos.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Canon Video Game Review: Rollerblade Racer (NES)
First of all, this isn't the review I had in mind. See, I wanted to do a review of Stadium Events for the NES because, if you haven't heard. copies of this game have been selling for a ridiculous amount of money. I tried playing it, but I never could start an event because the controls are just too different than what I have my emulator controller set up for. But that's okay, because instead I played something that was even better. Oh yes, because after digging deep into my ROM Collection, I came up with Rollerblade Racer, a game that originally came out for the Nintendo in February of 1993. I'm sure after people played this game, they decided it was time to trade up systems and get a Sega Genesis or Super Nintendo because man, this game is bad.
First of all, let's look at the cover (photo courtesy of theoldcomputer.com). All I can say is that it definitely is a product of it's time. From the background, to the neon green roller blade straps and pants, to that girl's jacket, it screams early 1990s. This game promises the "most radical race on wheels" which covers a lot of ground. After all, there are many car races, motorcycle races, bicycle races, probably even wheelbarrow races. Do they really have the gall to say that his game is the most radical race on wheels? That's a heck of a boast, one that I feel there's no chance on earth they deliver on.
Enough about the cover, let's talk about the game. Our hero is a boy named Kirk. Kirk just got new roller blades, and he wants to qualify for the Ultimate Rollerblade Challenge or whatever. Kirk has decided that he wants to wear a pink shirt for whatever reason. Well if he can handle it, than so can I. Anyway, Kirk needs your help to qualify, as he needs 5,000 points to qualify for Rollerbladeamania. In order to get points, you have to skate through four areas, Kirk's neighborhood, the city, the beach, and the park. As to who put this challenge together, that is a mystery left to your imagination.
So, the game starts in Kirk's neighborhood, and the game looks an awful lot like Paperboy. The controls are pretty simple, you use the d-pad to go left, right, or up, you jump with a and duck with b. The only reason to duck is so you can maintain speed, or you can duck and then jump to perform a spinning jump that is nearly impossible to land. Kirk lives on a road that needs to be paved and has a lot of dogs and open potholes, but that's okay, because Kirk long jumps like Carl Lewis on steroids. Really, all you have to do is jump a lot and hope you don't land on anything that can impede your progress or cause a fall. If you fall too much, you will have to start over. Qualifying for the Ultimate Challenge is pretty easy, as I did it on more than one occasion after the first bonus stage. But damn it, you have to do all the levels anyway. Well, that sucks. I played it a few times, but never got past the beach stage, even though I had technically fulfilled my end of the bargain by qualifying.
I don't know how much this game cost when it was first released, but I hope it wasn't more than 5 dollars, because anything else would be a ripoff. If your skilled enough, you can get through the entire game in less than 20 minutes, easily. Plus, there's no multiplayer, no hidden secret levels or anything else like that. All there is are the five levels, and the quick "Bonus" levels in between. I know it was a different time, but there were literally hundreds of games that were more in-depth than this, and there are probably a thousand flash games out there today that have more levels and are more replayable than this, and those games are free of charge. The graphics are a lot similar to Paperboy, to the point where I wonder if there was a lawsuit considered. The soundtrack is the same song over and over again, and sounds like a low-rent version of a song that would have been rejected by the makers of Final Fantasy. Overall, I'll give this game a 1.74 out of 10. There's not a lot to this game, and what's in this game isn't all that good.
So, there you have it. Tomorrow I will review Jay Leno's one and only wrestling match, along with the rest of Road Wild 1998. That should be three hours that I'll never get back and would probably be better spent elsewhere, but nevertheless. If you have any future review ideas or whatever, than send them along to me at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Until next time, stay rad everyone.
First of all, let's look at the cover (photo courtesy of theoldcomputer.com). All I can say is that it definitely is a product of it's time. From the background, to the neon green roller blade straps and pants, to that girl's jacket, it screams early 1990s. This game promises the "most radical race on wheels" which covers a lot of ground. After all, there are many car races, motorcycle races, bicycle races, probably even wheelbarrow races. Do they really have the gall to say that his game is the most radical race on wheels? That's a heck of a boast, one that I feel there's no chance on earth they deliver on.
Enough about the cover, let's talk about the game. Our hero is a boy named Kirk. Kirk just got new roller blades, and he wants to qualify for the Ultimate Rollerblade Challenge or whatever. Kirk has decided that he wants to wear a pink shirt for whatever reason. Well if he can handle it, than so can I. Anyway, Kirk needs your help to qualify, as he needs 5,000 points to qualify for Rollerbladeamania. In order to get points, you have to skate through four areas, Kirk's neighborhood, the city, the beach, and the park. As to who put this challenge together, that is a mystery left to your imagination.
So, the game starts in Kirk's neighborhood, and the game looks an awful lot like Paperboy. The controls are pretty simple, you use the d-pad to go left, right, or up, you jump with a and duck with b. The only reason to duck is so you can maintain speed, or you can duck and then jump to perform a spinning jump that is nearly impossible to land. Kirk lives on a road that needs to be paved and has a lot of dogs and open potholes, but that's okay, because Kirk long jumps like Carl Lewis on steroids. Really, all you have to do is jump a lot and hope you don't land on anything that can impede your progress or cause a fall. If you fall too much, you will have to start over. Qualifying for the Ultimate Challenge is pretty easy, as I did it on more than one occasion after the first bonus stage. But damn it, you have to do all the levels anyway. Well, that sucks. I played it a few times, but never got past the beach stage, even though I had technically fulfilled my end of the bargain by qualifying.
I don't know how much this game cost when it was first released, but I hope it wasn't more than 5 dollars, because anything else would be a ripoff. If your skilled enough, you can get through the entire game in less than 20 minutes, easily. Plus, there's no multiplayer, no hidden secret levels or anything else like that. All there is are the five levels, and the quick "Bonus" levels in between. I know it was a different time, but there were literally hundreds of games that were more in-depth than this, and there are probably a thousand flash games out there today that have more levels and are more replayable than this, and those games are free of charge. The graphics are a lot similar to Paperboy, to the point where I wonder if there was a lawsuit considered. The soundtrack is the same song over and over again, and sounds like a low-rent version of a song that would have been rejected by the makers of Final Fantasy. Overall, I'll give this game a 1.74 out of 10. There's not a lot to this game, and what's in this game isn't all that good.
So, there you have it. Tomorrow I will review Jay Leno's one and only wrestling match, along with the rest of Road Wild 1998. That should be three hours that I'll never get back and would probably be better spent elsewhere, but nevertheless. If you have any future review ideas or whatever, than send them along to me at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Until next time, stay rad everyone.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The Canon Review's Tribute to Jay Leno
In case you haven't heard, Jay Leno took his seat on The Tonight Show back last night. I didn't watch the show, but I assume Jay had some guests on and made jokes about Bill Clinton, as Leno is wont to do. Perhaps he even went out onto Hollywood Boulevard and asked dumb tourists questions. I did not care much for Leno's Tonight Show before he left, and I'm not expecting major changes, so chances are I will not watch too much of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno in the near future. But, in a futile attempt to be current, The Canon Review has decided to put together a little tribute to Jay Leno. By tribute, I mean I'll watch some videos of Jay Leno and probably find a way to rip him and his unfunny shtick. So sit back and enjoy The Canon Review's tribute to the man that makes ABC's Nightline funny, Jay Leno.
Jay Leno Doritos Commercial:
This is back in the 1980s, a time where many people thought Jay Leno was still funny. Leno is in a room with a bunch of 1980s computers. He says that we are not falling behind in chip technology, because Doritos just came out with their cool ranch flavored chips, with a "secret All-American ingredient". I hope that ingredient isn't sand. Anyway, Leno takes a bite, and the computers start going crazy, their screens start blinking real fast and each computer displays a word like "Crunch!" and "Yum". No wonder people preferred Japanese computers back then. The commercial ends with a robotic arm handing Jay another chip and Jay saying "You won't find a chip like this in Japan", which to me is good news because Cool Ranch Doritos suck. One of the computers say in a electronic voice, "You tell em, Jay" and that's the end of the commercial. I guess making some crappy flavored chip was a big blow in the technology wars or something. I realize that I am being hard on Cool Ranch Doritos, and if you like them, that's cool. I'm just not a fan of ranch flavored chips, or Jay Leno, or computers that go crazy when you bite a chip.
Jay Leno on Freddie Prinze and Friends
This was from an HBO comedy special from 1976 featuring Freddie Prinze, then star of the TV series "Chico and the Man" and other comedians doing stand-up routines. One of them was a young Jay Leno, who is sporting a white man afro and a ridiculous looking straw hat. He starts by asking the audience if there's anyone from America, yay. I must say that some of his act here was decent. The parts where he goes on about how the news sensationalizes stories and always use the same terms like "sensless" was somewhat funny. Leno is also humourous talking about how advertisers believe the public is so stupid. It kind of fell apart at the end, as Leno spent half the act making fun of the comedy club and did a stupid joke about handblowers in bathrooms. But some of it was actually kind of funny. Check it out for yourself and see if you agree:
Jay Leno Rides into Atlanta
This video is from 1985, and is a segment from WAGA's PM Magazine program. Leno is in Atlanta to do a benefit show, so he's on the show to promote his appearance. So, what better way to promote his appearance than a cheesy skit dreamed up by local television producers. The video starts with Leno in a leather jacket on his Harley, as he rode into Atlanta on his bike. As Leno goes through Atlanta, he makes some jokes and is annoyed once he discovers the cameras. Leno arrives at the club, and a guy in front offers to park it for him. Leno offers a 500 dollar tip, but the guy holds out until Leno gives him another 500 bucks. That's quite a generous tip. Leno enters the club, meets somebody from the show, and then goes to the bathroom. The cameraman tries to follow him in, but Leno blocks his attempt, much to the relief of the audience. Leno meets the club owners to get his check, expecting a big one, but only gets 50 dollars due to air conditining repairs. Bunch of cheapskates charging Leno for their problems. Meanwhile, Leno gives the cameraman 500 bucks to get away from him, and the guy that parked Leno's bike sells it to another dude for 500 bucks. Leno asks the club owner where his bike was since the valet parked it, but the club owner tells Jay there is no valet. Motorcycle theft has never been so hilarious. Anyway, the skit ends, and the host asks Leno about his bike. Leno tells a joke about how people tell these horrible stories about motorcycles if they see you riding one, which I guess was funny. The skit fell kind of flat, though, although it wasn't horrible, it wasn't very good either. Hopefully Leno's act that night was funnier.
Jay Leno promotes welding
Leno's in his garage, showing off some super car he's having other people building for him. Some of those people are welders, who according to Leno are "bleeding him dry" Leno appreciates their work, however, and is asking for more people to join the welding ranks. Leno says that along the way, working with our hands became passe' and it's a shame. Nothing like a man that has never worked with his hands telling us to do just that. Leno's point is that there aren't enough young welders in the workplace, which may be true, but I wouldn't know. Leno ends the video by recycling the "bleeding me dry" joke and something on his garage wall falls down, drawing a chuckle from someone behind the camera. That was a lot like the Tonight Show, only with a message. The video also serves as another excuse for Leno to show off one of his cars, as he has about 5,920 by this point.
Well, that was a hoot. There were a couple of highlights, but most of the videos were a lot like the Tonight Show, boring and unfunny. You know, there was a time where Jay Leno was considered one of the funniest comedians out there. Now he's just an example of somebody doing the same unfunny shtick for years and years, and, like Andy Williams, his primary audience is people well over the age of 50. However, he has all those cars and more money than many countries, so I doubt he's losing any sleep over it. I won't watch his show, but there are a lot of people that apparently do, even if I don't know anybody that actually watches the show. I won't even get into that whole fiasco involving Conan O'Brien, because I don't want to fill up this post with a bunch of swear words. The bottom line is, Leno is back on the Tonight Show, people will watch, and I will still remain bewildered as to why.
I'm not done with Leno yet, because sometimes in the next few days, I will review a horrendous sight. Jay Leno wrestling. That's right, I'm going to watch WCW Road Wild 1998, which featured Jay Leno in the main event teaming with Diamond Dallas Page against the nWo's Hollywood Hogan and Eric Bischoff. I'm a little excited as I've never actually seen the show, but I'm sure it will be bad. If you have any ideas for future reviews or feedback on the Canon Review, then e-mail them to me at KtheC2001@gmail.com.
Jay Leno Doritos Commercial:
This is back in the 1980s, a time where many people thought Jay Leno was still funny. Leno is in a room with a bunch of 1980s computers. He says that we are not falling behind in chip technology, because Doritos just came out with their cool ranch flavored chips, with a "secret All-American ingredient". I hope that ingredient isn't sand. Anyway, Leno takes a bite, and the computers start going crazy, their screens start blinking real fast and each computer displays a word like "Crunch!" and "Yum". No wonder people preferred Japanese computers back then. The commercial ends with a robotic arm handing Jay another chip and Jay saying "You won't find a chip like this in Japan", which to me is good news because Cool Ranch Doritos suck. One of the computers say in a electronic voice, "You tell em, Jay" and that's the end of the commercial. I guess making some crappy flavored chip was a big blow in the technology wars or something. I realize that I am being hard on Cool Ranch Doritos, and if you like them, that's cool. I'm just not a fan of ranch flavored chips, or Jay Leno, or computers that go crazy when you bite a chip.
Jay Leno on Freddie Prinze and Friends
This was from an HBO comedy special from 1976 featuring Freddie Prinze, then star of the TV series "Chico and the Man" and other comedians doing stand-up routines. One of them was a young Jay Leno, who is sporting a white man afro and a ridiculous looking straw hat. He starts by asking the audience if there's anyone from America, yay. I must say that some of his act here was decent. The parts where he goes on about how the news sensationalizes stories and always use the same terms like "sensless" was somewhat funny. Leno is also humourous talking about how advertisers believe the public is so stupid. It kind of fell apart at the end, as Leno spent half the act making fun of the comedy club and did a stupid joke about handblowers in bathrooms. But some of it was actually kind of funny. Check it out for yourself and see if you agree:
Jay Leno Rides into Atlanta
This video is from 1985, and is a segment from WAGA's PM Magazine program. Leno is in Atlanta to do a benefit show, so he's on the show to promote his appearance. So, what better way to promote his appearance than a cheesy skit dreamed up by local television producers. The video starts with Leno in a leather jacket on his Harley, as he rode into Atlanta on his bike. As Leno goes through Atlanta, he makes some jokes and is annoyed once he discovers the cameras. Leno arrives at the club, and a guy in front offers to park it for him. Leno offers a 500 dollar tip, but the guy holds out until Leno gives him another 500 bucks. That's quite a generous tip. Leno enters the club, meets somebody from the show, and then goes to the bathroom. The cameraman tries to follow him in, but Leno blocks his attempt, much to the relief of the audience. Leno meets the club owners to get his check, expecting a big one, but only gets 50 dollars due to air conditining repairs. Bunch of cheapskates charging Leno for their problems. Meanwhile, Leno gives the cameraman 500 bucks to get away from him, and the guy that parked Leno's bike sells it to another dude for 500 bucks. Leno asks the club owner where his bike was since the valet parked it, but the club owner tells Jay there is no valet. Motorcycle theft has never been so hilarious. Anyway, the skit ends, and the host asks Leno about his bike. Leno tells a joke about how people tell these horrible stories about motorcycles if they see you riding one, which I guess was funny. The skit fell kind of flat, though, although it wasn't horrible, it wasn't very good either. Hopefully Leno's act that night was funnier.
Jay Leno promotes welding
Leno's in his garage, showing off some super car he's having other people building for him. Some of those people are welders, who according to Leno are "bleeding him dry" Leno appreciates their work, however, and is asking for more people to join the welding ranks. Leno says that along the way, working with our hands became passe' and it's a shame. Nothing like a man that has never worked with his hands telling us to do just that. Leno's point is that there aren't enough young welders in the workplace, which may be true, but I wouldn't know. Leno ends the video by recycling the "bleeding me dry" joke and something on his garage wall falls down, drawing a chuckle from someone behind the camera. That was a lot like the Tonight Show, only with a message. The video also serves as another excuse for Leno to show off one of his cars, as he has about 5,920 by this point.
Well, that was a hoot. There were a couple of highlights, but most of the videos were a lot like the Tonight Show, boring and unfunny. You know, there was a time where Jay Leno was considered one of the funniest comedians out there. Now he's just an example of somebody doing the same unfunny shtick for years and years, and, like Andy Williams, his primary audience is people well over the age of 50. However, he has all those cars and more money than many countries, so I doubt he's losing any sleep over it. I won't watch his show, but there are a lot of people that apparently do, even if I don't know anybody that actually watches the show. I won't even get into that whole fiasco involving Conan O'Brien, because I don't want to fill up this post with a bunch of swear words. The bottom line is, Leno is back on the Tonight Show, people will watch, and I will still remain bewildered as to why.
I'm not done with Leno yet, because sometimes in the next few days, I will review a horrendous sight. Jay Leno wrestling. That's right, I'm going to watch WCW Road Wild 1998, which featured Jay Leno in the main event teaming with Diamond Dallas Page against the nWo's Hollywood Hogan and Eric Bischoff. I'm a little excited as I've never actually seen the show, but I'm sure it will be bad. If you have any ideas for future reviews or feedback on the Canon Review, then e-mail them to me at KtheC2001@gmail.com.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Canon Restuarant Review: Loco's and The Golden Dragon
First of all, Canada sucks. Just kidding, congratulations to Canada for their Gold Medal victory over the United States in hockey earlier today. It was one of the greatest hockey games I've ever seen, easily in the top five. I'm just bummed the U.S. came short, but they had a heck of a tournament, and exceeded expectations by grabbing the silver medal. But enough about that. Today's review is of two restaurants in Athens, GA, a city where parking is scarce but restaurants are not. Yesterday, I had the privilege of having dinner at Loco's Deli and Pub, and had the additional privilege of having dessert at the Golden Dragon restaurant. Actually, privilege is too strong a word, as basically what happened was that my friends got hungry and so was I, so we went out to eat. Simple as that.
The first place we went to was Loco's Deli and Pub, recommended by my friend Sonny, who had ate there before and had nothing but good things to say about it. It turns out that the location of Loco's has changed, unbeknown to any of us, who very rarely visit Athens these days. Anyway, we went to two shopping centers, hoping that Loco's was there, but it wasn't. I did stop at a Barnes and Noble to pick up a copy of Baseball Prospectus 2010. My quick review, it seemed a bit clustered, but they had what I wanted and checkout was quick, so I give it a 7. Anyway, after consulting our friend Dickson, who was working in Athens last night for two whole hours, we found a Loco's. Unfortunately, it was so crowded that it would take 30 minutes to get a table. Undaunted, we found another Loco's, this one on South Harris Street, in case anyone was wondering, and we were able to be seated relatively quickly.
We ordered (and by we I mean my brother Ben, Sonny, and myself), and we waited on our food, and waited, and then we got some potato skins that Sonny ordered as an appetizer. The potato skins were just OK, nothing too special, but I rarely have potato skins so I am not really a worthy judge. So, we ate our potato skins and waited for our orders, and waited, and waited, and waited some more. Finally, after what was at least 45 minutes, we got our food. Let me say that I do not blame the wait on our waiter, as he was courteous and apologized for our long wait. I lay the fault on the fact that they had two waiters serving the entire restaurant, on a Saturday Night where all tables were full. I think that's just poor management, they probably could have used at least two more waiters. Plus, if the wait staff is understaffed, I have no doubt in my mind that the kitchen was understaffed as well. Then again, how long does it take to make two sandwiches and a hamburger?
I ordered the mushroom and swiss burger, well done, with no tomato and cheese fries. The good news is I did not get a tomato, however I had a different expectation of cheese fries than what I was presented. See, I was expecting the cheese to be covered in cheese. Instead of the 25 or 30 fries I got, only about six of them had cheese on it. The fries were pretty decent, good but not great, but I did wish for more cheese. I asked for the burger well done, but while the burger was good, it was also still rather pink on the inside. It was more medium well than well done, but at least they put tons of cheese and mushrooms on it. Overall, based on my meal alone, I would give it a 6.2 out of 10, even with the long wait. However, Sonny's Cuban sandwich was, in his opinion, a big pile of suck, and they also messed up his black beans. So, keeping that in mind, I must deduct 1.5 points off my score, giving Loco's a 4.7 out of 10. I'd be willing to try it again, but I have a feeling that that won't happen anytime soon. It's a shame because I had heard about Loco's for so many years, and was really looking forward to it, but it failed to live up to my expectations and the testimonials of others that I had heard.
But WAITAMINUTE! There's more. See Dickson had just gotten off of work, so he was pretty dang hungry. After driving around for a few minutes trying to find parking downtown, Dickson went for a familiar place, and went to the Golden Dragon Restaurant on Alps Road, a Chinese restaurant that he had been to many times. The rest of us weren't too hungry, having just ate minutes before, but I don't like going into restaurants without trying at least something, so I thought I might have a quick desert. What happened next was somewhat perplexing. I had seen that they ice cream tempura on the menu, and had never had that before and have wanted to try it for years. So I asked if I could have the ice cream tempura. The waitress responded with a sharp and curt "no", not explaining why I couldn't have the dish. So I ended up ordering the glazed banana instead, which is basically sugar covered bananas that are baked. About 10 minutes later, I get glazed apples instead. Well then. I didn't say anything because 1) Dickson was already eating, and he was the only one eating, so I didn't want to hold everybody else up, 2) the apples were the same price as the bananas, and 3), I had a feeling that they already didn't like me enough, and if I had sent it back I would get a "bonus" ingredient with my glazed bananas. So I just ate what I got, and what I got was pretty good, although I wouldn't have minded if it was a little sweeter. Overall, I would give the apples a 7, and my experience about a 3, but I don't feel I can make a proper judgment on a restaurant unless I actually eat a course. I'd be willing to try that, but I have a feeling they couldn't care less what my cracker ass thought of their place.
So, there you have it, my first one and a half restaurant reviews here at The Canon Review. Maybe I'll do more, but I don't really eat out too much so I doubt it. Anyway, if you any ideas for future reviews or posts, send them to me at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Feel free to make comments, and if you have any problems with the comment section, let me know and I will try to fix it.
The first place we went to was Loco's Deli and Pub, recommended by my friend Sonny, who had ate there before and had nothing but good things to say about it. It turns out that the location of Loco's has changed, unbeknown to any of us, who very rarely visit Athens these days. Anyway, we went to two shopping centers, hoping that Loco's was there, but it wasn't. I did stop at a Barnes and Noble to pick up a copy of Baseball Prospectus 2010. My quick review, it seemed a bit clustered, but they had what I wanted and checkout was quick, so I give it a 7. Anyway, after consulting our friend Dickson, who was working in Athens last night for two whole hours, we found a Loco's. Unfortunately, it was so crowded that it would take 30 minutes to get a table. Undaunted, we found another Loco's, this one on South Harris Street, in case anyone was wondering, and we were able to be seated relatively quickly.
We ordered (and by we I mean my brother Ben, Sonny, and myself), and we waited on our food, and waited, and then we got some potato skins that Sonny ordered as an appetizer. The potato skins were just OK, nothing too special, but I rarely have potato skins so I am not really a worthy judge. So, we ate our potato skins and waited for our orders, and waited, and waited, and waited some more. Finally, after what was at least 45 minutes, we got our food. Let me say that I do not blame the wait on our waiter, as he was courteous and apologized for our long wait. I lay the fault on the fact that they had two waiters serving the entire restaurant, on a Saturday Night where all tables were full. I think that's just poor management, they probably could have used at least two more waiters. Plus, if the wait staff is understaffed, I have no doubt in my mind that the kitchen was understaffed as well. Then again, how long does it take to make two sandwiches and a hamburger?
I ordered the mushroom and swiss burger, well done, with no tomato and cheese fries. The good news is I did not get a tomato, however I had a different expectation of cheese fries than what I was presented. See, I was expecting the cheese to be covered in cheese. Instead of the 25 or 30 fries I got, only about six of them had cheese on it. The fries were pretty decent, good but not great, but I did wish for more cheese. I asked for the burger well done, but while the burger was good, it was also still rather pink on the inside. It was more medium well than well done, but at least they put tons of cheese and mushrooms on it. Overall, based on my meal alone, I would give it a 6.2 out of 10, even with the long wait. However, Sonny's Cuban sandwich was, in his opinion, a big pile of suck, and they also messed up his black beans. So, keeping that in mind, I must deduct 1.5 points off my score, giving Loco's a 4.7 out of 10. I'd be willing to try it again, but I have a feeling that that won't happen anytime soon. It's a shame because I had heard about Loco's for so many years, and was really looking forward to it, but it failed to live up to my expectations and the testimonials of others that I had heard.
But WAITAMINUTE! There's more. See Dickson had just gotten off of work, so he was pretty dang hungry. After driving around for a few minutes trying to find parking downtown, Dickson went for a familiar place, and went to the Golden Dragon Restaurant on Alps Road, a Chinese restaurant that he had been to many times. The rest of us weren't too hungry, having just ate minutes before, but I don't like going into restaurants without trying at least something, so I thought I might have a quick desert. What happened next was somewhat perplexing. I had seen that they ice cream tempura on the menu, and had never had that before and have wanted to try it for years. So I asked if I could have the ice cream tempura. The waitress responded with a sharp and curt "no", not explaining why I couldn't have the dish. So I ended up ordering the glazed banana instead, which is basically sugar covered bananas that are baked. About 10 minutes later, I get glazed apples instead. Well then. I didn't say anything because 1) Dickson was already eating, and he was the only one eating, so I didn't want to hold everybody else up, 2) the apples were the same price as the bananas, and 3), I had a feeling that they already didn't like me enough, and if I had sent it back I would get a "bonus" ingredient with my glazed bananas. So I just ate what I got, and what I got was pretty good, although I wouldn't have minded if it was a little sweeter. Overall, I would give the apples a 7, and my experience about a 3, but I don't feel I can make a proper judgment on a restaurant unless I actually eat a course. I'd be willing to try that, but I have a feeling they couldn't care less what my cracker ass thought of their place.
So, there you have it, my first one and a half restaurant reviews here at The Canon Review. Maybe I'll do more, but I don't really eat out too much so I doubt it. Anyway, if you any ideas for future reviews or posts, send them to me at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Feel free to make comments, and if you have any problems with the comment section, let me know and I will try to fix it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)