Let's Talk About Lance Storm

Well, it's been a while since I've done a wrestling review (or any review, for that matter), so I decided that today I'd watch a few matches and review them right here. So, here's a post about the pride and joy of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, none other than Lance Storm. Lance Storm is a wrestler that I always thought was better in theory than in execution. By that I mean Storm was a guy that knew all the holds, was very athletic, could cut a decent promo and was versatile in many different styles. But for whatever reason, when I watched Lance Storm, he didn't come across as a guy that was a top-notch talent, despite what his reputation on the internet might have been. I mean, it wasn't like he was terrible or anything, but he was rather forgettable. But maybe I'm wrong and I should have been on the Lance Storm bandwagon years ago, so let's begin this review with Storm getting a shot at the WCW Title.

Match 1: Lance Storm vs. The Rock, Monday Night Raw, August 20, 2001

This match took place the night after Summerslam and is the first WCW Title defense for The Rock, who had won the title the previous night. Earlier this episode, Lance Storm interrupted a Rock interview and kicked a little person impersonating Booker T in the face. Lance tries to attack early, but that doesn't work and Rock gets a two count after a Samoan Drop. The two do an exchange of missed clotheslines, then Storm hits a superkick that sends The Rock flying out of the ring. Storm moves quickly to roll The Rock back in and goes for the cover, but Rock kicks out at two. They exchange some blows, then Storm comes off the top with a clothesline that gets another two count. Storm stomps away on The Rock, then foolishly charges into a Rock spinebuster. Man, this match feels rushed. Rock hits his trademark punch combination, then follows with a DDT for a two count. The two brawl in the corner for a few seconds, then Rock hits the Rock Bottom for the three count. Post match, Rock brings the little Booker T impersonator out, who can barely climb up the stairs. Little Booker tries a People's Elbow, but he trips over Storm. So Storm gets back up, Rock spinebusts him back down, and on the second try Booker gets it as right as he was going to get it, which is still subpar even for a midget. Then Little Booker does a Spinarooni and everyone is happy. Well, not me. Match was way too short and the post-match stuff was embarrassing. I'd give it a 0.8 out of 5.  

Match 2: The Unamericans (Lance Storm and Christian) vs. Booker T and Goldust, WWE Tag Team Title Match, Summerslam 2002

Storm and Christian are the champions at the time. Booker comes out to a huge reaction, while the Unamericans come out with the American flag upside down because, you see, they're Unamerican. Goldust and Christian start, and Goldust goes to work early, hitting a butt bump and then an uppercut from the ground to get a two count. Storm is tagged in, but takes an arm drag and atomic drop for his efforts, then Goldust tags in Booker T. Booker continues to run roughshod over Lance, with a sideslam and a knee drop that gets a two count. That great American patriot Goldust is tagged back in, but a cheapshot from Christian and a thumb to the eye by Storm gives the Unamericans the advantage. Storm throws Goldust over the top rope, which would have been a disqualification in the NWA. After Christian works him over, he rolls Goldust back in and Storm gets a two count. The crowd chants 'USA' to try and Goldust back into the match, but the Unamericans use quick tags and underhanded tactics to keep Goldust isolated. Storm misses a dropkick though, and Goldust gets a quick two count. He tries to get to Booker, but Christian cuts that off. Front facelock by Christian, but Goldust forces his away into the corner and backdrops Christian. Tag to Booker, but the ref didn't see it so it's not allowed. Meanwhile, he doesn't see the other team make a tag but allows it anyway. I don't know about you, but I hate that spot as it makes no sense and makes the ref look like an idiot.

Anyway, a clothesline gets two for Storm, and the Unamericans continue their isolationist tactics. But Goldust fights back, catapults Christian into Storm on the outside and then rolls Christian up for a two count. Double clothesline, and Goldust and Christian are down. Before Goldust can get over to tag Booker, Storm goes over and trips Booker off the apron, forcing Booker to lose his cool and give chase. That's the same tactic I would use while playing a tag match in any Smackdown game. Christian is able to get Goldust away from his corner, and Storm sneaks in a chair. Actually, two chairs, and Storm and Christian attempt a Conchairto on Goldust, but luckily the big golden patriot ducks, and follows with a double clothesline. Finally, Booker gets the tag, and he starts wailing away at The Unamericans. A missle dropkick on Christian almost gets a three count. Booker and Christian each try their finishers to no avail, and Booker ends up delivering a flapjack to Christian. Storm tries a leaping heel kick, but Booker ducks and the ref ends up taking the blow. Booker gets both Unamericans with the Scissors kick, then follows up with a Spinarooni and a Harlem Sidekick to Christian. But the ref is down so that's all for naught. Storm comes in with a belt, but he's quickly taken care of by Booker T and Goldust. With the ref still down, fellow Unamerican Test (and a former Tag Team champion with Booker T), comes in and flattens Booker with a big boot. Christian covers, and the ref recovers to administer the three count. Wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either, so I'll give it a 2.5 out of 5.

Match 3: Lance Storm w/Tammy Lynn Bytch vs. Rob Van Dam w/Bill Alfonso, ECW Television Title Match, Guilty as Charged 1999

Before the match begins, Storm says something about not having to compete in a previously scheduled match with Spike Dudley and Jerry Lynn, so he challenges RVD to a match for Van Dam's TV Title Out comes Van Dam, and after a two minute entrance, he's ready to go. The bell rings, and nobody does anything for a minute and a half before the two do a basic exchange of holds that ends with both men at a standstill. Storm backs Van Dam into the corner, firing away with shoulder blocks and chops, before whipping him into another corner. But Van Dam reverses it and eventually monkey flips Storm to the other side of the ring. Storm backs into the corner while Alfonso keeps Van Dam hydrated by handing him a water bottle. Quality managing there, Fonzie. A thumb to the eye by Storm, but after a few blows, Van Dam gets the advantage back with a dropkick and a two count, followed by a snap mare which also draws a two count. Storm reverses an Irish whip and rolls Van Dam up into a single leg crab. So Alfonso goes over to the other side of the ring and starts messing with Bytch (yes, that's what she was known as at the time, so that's what I'll call her here). That distracts Storm, who grabs at Alfonso. However, he's in perfect position to take an apron leg drop from Van Dam. RVD gets thrown into the guardrail, but rebounds and then sets Storm over the guardrail to deliver a corkscrew legdrop from the apron, which RVD connects on. Back in the ring, RVD hits a double-underhook lifting facebuster for a two count. He whips Storm to the ropes, but Storm does a leapfrog and then lands a superkick to Van Dam for two. Storm traps Van Dam in a corner and delivers a series of strikes, including a dropkick to a seated RVD. Out of the corner, Van Dam tries a springboard manuever, but gets dropkicked out of the ring into the guardrail. Van Dam oversells a baseball slide by flying over the guardrail and landing eight rows back. In the crowd, Storm is whipped into the guardrail, backdrops Van Dam over, but Van Dam catches himself and does a somersault dive off the railing onto Storm. Van Dam tries to slam Storm on the floor, but Storm counters with a inverted DDT, which is a stupid move to do on the floor since you land on your back before your opponent, causing both participants to take damage. But Storm ignores that, and while RVD attempts a springboard off the guardrail, he gets dropkicked back into the crowd by Storm. Storm then follows with a dive from the top rope, over the guardrail, and onto Van Dam. While Joey Styles tries to sell the notion that Storm is in control, Van Dam does his own brand of selling by joking with the crowd. Ok then.

Back in, RVD tries for a springboard move out of the corner, but Storm catches him again and crotches Van Dam. Back Suplex is attempted, but Van Dam flips over on his feet and catches Storm with a leg drop before he can get up. Van Dam follows up with a drop toe hold and a Surfboard. Instead of holding him up, Van Dam kicks him off and catches Storm with a rolling senton for a two count. Storm is whipped into the corner, but he catches Van Dam with a springboard back elbow and gets a two count. Storm then does a cartwheel clothesline which Van Dam just shrugs off to catch a chair tossed by Fonzie. RVD tries for the Van Daminator, but Storm dodges the blow and ends up tapping RVD in the head with it. Unfortunately, Storm picks the chair back up, and gets caught with a Vandaminator. Storm sells the heck out of the move, but he was playing possum as he caught Van Dam with a low blow and nearly got a three count from a small package. Van Dam catches Storm with a spinning heel kick which "almost cut Lance Storm clean in half", according to Joey Styles. Like hell it did. Van Dam goes for another Van Daminator, but Storm ducks and the chair goes into the ref's face. Storm follows with a Van Daminator of his own, but the ref is out. Fonzie brings in a chair, which Storm takes away, but all that does is allow Van Dam to come off the top for a Van Daminator into Storm's face. Storm kicks out at two. Back up, RVD hits a crappy looking clothesline and goes for the Five Star Frog Splash, but Storm moves. Storm goes for a powerbomb, but RVD reverses into a rollup. The two men do a nice exchange of holds before Van Dam hits a German Suplex with a bridge, which is enough to get the three count. Ten years ago, I probably would have told you that this was a great match and these two men are what wrestling is all about or whatever. However, while there were a few solid spots, the match was hurt by RVD's indifferent selling and Storm's weak chair shots. Still, it was rather decent, so I'll give it a 2.35 out of 5.

Match 4: Lance Storm vs. Triple H, WWE Smackdown, May 21, 2002

Before the match, Storm gets on the mic and says that, despite Triple-H's victory over Chris Jericho in Hell in a Cell, he's nothing but a barbaric animal, and Storm will teach him a lesson like only a true technical wizard can do. Storm sets out to teach Triple-H a lesson by taking two hard clothesline and a high knee lift. But Triple-H's knee is all bandaged up from his last match, so the big dummy ended up hurting it after the move. Storm hits a jawjacker and some punches, but Triple-H follows up with a driving knee to the face, this time using his good leg. Storm reverses an Irish whip and dropkicks HHH down to the mat. Storm shows off his technical wizardry by attacking Triple-H with a series of punches, kicks, and other various blows. Even Tazz, on commentary, notices how Storm's actions differ from his words and calls him a hypocrite. It's effective, though, as Storm has re-opened Triple-H's headwound and nearly gets a three count. Storm lands a clothesline from the top and gets another two count. Storm continues to pound away, but Triple-H has had all he can take so he starts firing back with blows of his own. Storm misses a Stinger Splash, and HHH then lands a neckbreaker, followed by a spinebuster that gets a two count. Storm ducks a clothesline and lands a superkick, following up with a Canadian Mapleleaf on Triple-H's bum leg. But Triple-H gets to the ropes. Storm hits another superkick, and climbs to the top rope while the ref checks on Triple-H. HHH, ever the ring general, pushes the ref into the ropes, knocking Storm off. A Pedigree follows, and Triple-H holds Storm down for the three count. All in all, not a bad TV match and probably my favorite of the four. I'll give it a three out of 5.

So, what did I learn from all this Storm watching. That Lance Storm should never pick up a chair in a wrestling ring again. Other than that, I stand by my previous statement, Storm's a decent to good wrestler who got about as far in wrestling as he should have been. He had a nice career of producing matches that were neither bad nor great, just in the middle. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any thoughts about this post or about Lance Storm in general, or you have ideas for future post, then please feel free to send them to me either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at kthec2001@gmail.com.

Canon Wrestling Review: WWF Smackdown, January 17, 2002

Before I begin, I'd like to apologize for my week-long break from updating this place. Recently I started a new job, and the job left with very little free time between work and sleep. Plus, I'm not exactly the best person at managing my time wisely, so there's that. But never fear, Canon Review readers, as I'm not going anywhere and will continue to provide reviews on a variety of topics whenever possible. Plus, there's the 2011 Canon Review Baseball Preview to look forward to, and that will be due out sometime next week, hopefully before Thursday.

But enough about that, as here's a look back at the January 17, 2002 episode of WWF Smackdown. This show is significant in that it featured the first match in which Triple-H and Booker T were involved in together. Well, maybe it's not that significant, but whatever. Anyway, this is the 'go-home' show before the 2002 Royal Rumble, so I expect a lot of talk about that event on this show. Well, let's start this thing.

The show starts with The Rock arriving just in time. Stone Cold Steve Austin greets The Rock with some good news, as Austin is going to win the 2002 Royal Rumble. But with that news comes some bad news, as Austin explains to The Rock that after Rock wins the Undisputed Title from Chris Jericho at the Royal Rumble, he'll have to face Stone Cold for a third time at Wrestlemania. Austin reminds Rock that he has a 2-0 record against him at Wrestlemania, but the Rock casually proclaims that he doesn't need a reminder, as he thinks about that fact quite often. In fact, Rock thought about it when he pinned Austin at the 2001 Survivor Series just mere months ago. Oh Snap.

Fireworks go off and the show officially starts with Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler doing commentary. Nine years after this, and they're going to wrestle each other at Wrestlemania. I can honestly say I did not see that one coming back in 2002. The two explain that in tonight's main event, the former Two-Man Power Trip of Austin and Triple-H will reform tonight to face off against Booker T and Kurt Angle in Triple-H's first match back from injury. But forget all that, because next is Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal. On the previous edition of Raw, Regal used brass knuckles to knock out both Van Dam and Edge and win a tag match along with Test, who is a non-factor here. Van Dam takes Regal by surprise with a series of quick kicks and gets a two-count after a quick leg drop, but Regal uses a massive overhead German Suplex on Van Dam to flip RVD over and take the advantage. Regal continues working over Van Dam with a series of blows and a couple of submission holds before Van Dam begins his comeback. Rolling Thunder by Van Dam gets a two count, as does a body press from the top rope. Regal dodges a Van Dam charge in the corner, drags him over to the apron, and goes outside to grab some brass knuckles conveniently stashed away along with a chair. The ref catches the chair, and Regal seems taken aback as Van Dam catches him with a flying kick to the head. Regal's backed up in the corner again and Van Dam gives Regal a pair of shoulder blocks before backflipping for a third. But the backflip is all the time Regal needs to take the knucks out and blast Van Dam with a punch, and he gets the victory. Decent match considering the time constraints, which is no surprise from Regal.

Kurt Angle is looking for The Rock, but he still has time to berate a security guard. He finds Rock talking his cell phone to Jerry Lynn, and interrupts Rock to tell him that he, Kurt Angle, will win the 2002 Royal Rumble and face Rock at Wrestlemania. Seems like nobody's giving Jericho a chance to make it through as champ to Wrestlemania, does it. Rock digs it, calls it a dream match and tells Angle to close his eyes and imagine the possibilities. However, just as Angle is really getting into the dream of kicking the Rock's butt at Wrestlemania, the Rock gets in his own digs and proclaims that the only way Angle is beating Rock is in a dream world. Angle does not seem to be pleased by this at all. Up next is Billy Gunn, which means that many people back then were wondering what else was on that night. He comes out with Chuck Palumbo to face Tajiri, who is with Torrie Wilson.  Tajiri uses his speed to gain the upper hand early on with a headscissors and an enziguri kick, but his momentium is halted quite forcefully by a full-nelson facebuster from Gunn. Gunn keeps him down for a minute, but Tajiri gets back in the match and eventually catches Gunn in the Tarantula hold, setting up for the buzzsaw kick. Chuck comes in, and gets green mist sprayed in his face for his efforts. But Chuck's distraction was worthwhile, as Gunn catches Tajiri with the Famouser (ugh) and gets the three count. Post match, Chuck's still not happy about having green mist in his face, so he Super Kicks Tajiri in anger. Match was what it was, nothing really to write home about as it was too short to build to anything.

The Coach is standing outside Triple-H's locker room when a man that is definitely not Triple-H walks out to inform Coach that HHH is looking for The Rock. Well, Triple-H finds him in his locker room, and as you might suspect, informs the Rock that it will be he that wins the Royal Rumble. I suppose Chuck Palumbo and Lance Storm are also going to tell Rock that they'll win as well. To the back, where Trish Stratus is wearing an ugly green hat and being interviewed by Lillian Garcia. After Lillian stumbles through a question, Jazz attacks Trish Stratus from behind, then slams a crate against Trish's hand before proclaiming that she'll see Stratus again on Sunday as Lawler questions why Jazz attacked Trish. My guess would be that she did it to weaken Trish for Sunday, but what do I know?

Yo, it's DDP, and he's taking on The Big Boss Man. If Page wins, he gets to compete in the Royal Rumble, but Lawler seems to doubt DDP's chances for whatever reason. At first, Bossman seems to be proving Lawler right, punishing DDP with power moves such as a big boot and a powerslam. But a desperation jawbreaker out of a sleeper hold turns the tide for DDP, and a tornado clothesline follows. DDP gets Bossman in the corner for a ten punch, but just as ref Teddy Long tries to get between them, Bossman hits a low blow. Bossman starts jaw jacking about pancakes or whatever to the crowd, then scoops DDP up. But the master of the Diamond Cutter strikes again, as he slithers out of Bossman's grip and drops the former lawman to get the three count and enter the Royal Rumble. Now, he gets to go back and tell Rock that he's going to win the Rumble. Good little TV match here, all in all.

But before DDP can tell the Rock anything, The Undertaker has a word for the "People's Champ". Like everyone else, The Undertaker proclaims that he will win the Royal Rumble, but he's the first man that says that he doubts The Rock will beat Jericho on Sunday. But just in case, he wants The Rock to think about a potential Rock-Undertaker meeting. The Rock has had enough of people telling him about their plans, so he decides to go to the ring. Coming out to a tremendous ovation, The Rock explains that this year's Royal Rumble will be different, because everybody's going to win. He finds a cameraman, takes his camera, and explains that the camera man just whispered that he's going to win the Rumble. The Rock still has the camera, which is badly out of focus at this point, and zooms up on a six-year old kid and a cute blonde in the front row and says that they also proclaimed victory in the Royal Rumble, as did section 108. Finished with the camera, The Rock proclaims that it does not matter if it's Austin, Undertaker, Mr. Perfect, or "Punky Brewster on an ice cream sammich" that wins the Rumble, but whoever it is they'll be facing the Rock for the Undisputed Championship, and nothing can stop that. Out comes the man that can stop that, future Dancing With the Stars competitor and current champion Chris Jericho, and he does not look happy. Jericho seems pissed off that's he being referred to as an afterthought, and tells everyone that they can go to hell. He then reminds Rock that it was Jericho that beat Rock on the way to becoming Undisputed Champion, and that Rock can face whoever he darn well pleases at Wrestlemania, but it won't be for Jericho's title. Jericho then proclaims that this is his show, which the Rock takes exception to, as Smackdown is The Rock's show. Actually, it's Vince McMahon's show, but who's counting. Before the Rock can deliver his trademark line, Jericho interrupts and demands respect from the Rock, proclaiming that he is not a joke. So the Rock comes down to the ramp, and the two have a staredown before Rock promises to deliver a beating upon Jericho if he smells what is cooking. Really good stuff here between two masters of the mic, as this was quite an intense promo and made me want to go back and watch their match from the 2002 Rumble.

Up next is Rikishi in an over-the-top challenge against Lance Storm and Christian that, according to Michael Cole, will draw interest to those not familiar with the Royal Rumble. Well that, or people will vomit after Rikishi sticks his bulbous butt in somebody's face. The two Canadians try to double team Rikishi, but that doesn't go too well, as Kishi dominates the smaller men. He gives Lance Storm a stinkface, then kicks him out of the ring. Christian tries to attack from behind, but gets backdropped over the top onto Storm. But WAITAMINUTE! here comes The Big Show to get some. He clotheslines Rikishi down, but then takes a Samoan Drop for his efforts. Rikishi waits for Show to get back on his feet, which proves to be a mistake, as Show picks him up and carries him across the ring before dumping the Samoan over the top rope. Here comes the APA of Bradshaw and Faarooq, and they eliminate Show after a Bradshaw clothesline takes him over the rope. Bradshaw nearly dumps Faarooq over, but catches him before he can leave. They argue a bit, then Faarooq does the same, and then they make up only for Kane to come down. He gets double-teamed, but is able to duck a Bradshaw clothesline and back drop him over the ropes. Then Kane grabs Faarooq by the throat and slings him over the top before setting the posts aflame with his own two hands. Well, as far as previewing the Royal Rumble, this segment did it's job.

It's the Stacker 2 burn of the week, which sees Spike Dudley pick up the upset victory over his half-brother Bubba Ray thanks to some help from Spike's partner Tazz. Cut to earlier tonight in the parking lot, and The Dudley Boys put a beating on Spike and Tazz once they arrived at the building. Bubba slams Tazz against an 18-wheeler before locking him in the trunk of his own car, then the two Dudleys mercelessly beat up on Spike before dropping him with a 3-D on the concrete floor. Will Spike and Tazz be able to defend their titles at the Rumble? Meanwhile, Debra wants a piece of Stephanie McMahon Helmsley, but since her husband is teaming up with Debra's husband Stone Cold, Austin asks that Debra stay in the back so he can get through tonight's match without distraction. To the back, where Kurt Angle and Booker T are discussing the tag-team main event later tonight, and argue about which one of them will win the Rumble on Sunday. Angle states that this match will be "sweet and sour like an ice-cold shower" Right. Back to the ring, where Edge comes out to face off against Test. Edge starts the match on top with the world's worst Frankensteiner and a spinning heel kick that gets a two count, then Test takes over after an Uncle Slam. After stomping on Edge for a while, Test slips up and takes an enziguri from Edge. Edge gets a pair of two counts after a modified front face buster and an Edge-O-Matic, then the two men take the fight to the outside. Regal comes out and tries to sneak up on Edge, but that doesn't work, then Test tries to come from behind with a steel chair, only to get speared. Edge then wipes out both of his opponents with chair shots to the head. Referee Nick Patrick disqualifies Edge, so Edge decides that Patrick needs a chair shot to the head as well. Match was kind of boring, to be honest.

A video preview of the Royal Rumble plays, set to the song 'Cocky' by Kid Rock. Then it's to the back, where Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley is gloating over Debra not being allowed at ringside. But hold the phone, as Triple-H declares that Stephanie is also not allowed at ringside tonight in this, his first match back from injury. It's now time for the main event of the evening. In his last match, Triple-H teamed up with Stone Cold, but apparently the significance is lost on the announcers as they never mention this. HHH and Austin stare down at the beginning, but Angle tries to charge both men and ends up eating a fistful of fists from both men. Austin dominates Angle early on, then Booker T comes on only to eat a clothesline. Austin holds Booker up, and tags in the game, who fires away on Booker with ruthless aggression. After a distraction from Angle, Booker T hits a thrust kick to knock 'The Game' down. Tag to Angle, and Triple-H does that weird running choke he did for a couple of months after his comeback. Austin comes in, takes care of both men for a while until a standing spin kick from Booker finally knocks down Austin. Booker and Angle double up on Austin for the next few minutes or so, using quick tags and stomps to keep Austin down. Austin tries for a comeback, but a well-timed overhead belly-to-belly suplex from Angle takes care of that. Tag to Booker T, who hits the ax kick, does the Spinarooni and nails Austin with the Harlem Sidekick. Cover, but HHH breaks it up. Angle and Booker continue to work over Austin, but after a missed double team effort, Austin clotheslines both his opponents and then crawls over for the hot tag to Triple-H. He takes care of everybody with running knees and clotheslines. HHH gets a two count on Booker after a knee to the face, then Angle comes in and oh here go hell come as all four men are now brawling. Austin and Triple-H throw their opponents over the top rope, then back into each other and tease a showdown, but Angle and Booker T come in and go after them. That doesn't go too well, as Triple-H sets Booker up for the Pedigree, but Angle takes care of that with a german suplex. Austin comes in, throws Angle over the ropes, ducks a leaping sidekick from Booker and hits the Stone Cold Stunner. But Booker doesn't go down right away, which allows Triple-H the opportunity to Pedigree him and pick up the victory for his team. Post-match, The Undertaker comes down and stares a hole through Austin and Triple-H. Match wasn't too bad, although it seemed like Triple-H was still unsure about his leg at this time. But still, these four men know what they're doing in the ring, and Angle and Booker bumped like mad men for their opponents here tonight.

Overall, not a bad show, but not one that really stands out either. The best part of the night was The Rock's 'camera promo' followed by his verbal confrontation with Jericho, while the main event was the best match of the night. Other than that, a lot of stuff seemed to be either filler or just not that interesting. Overall, I'd give this episode of Smackdown a 5.55 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any comments about this or previous posts, or ideas for future reviews or posts, than share them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Canon Magazine Review: Pro Wrestling Illustrated, August 2000

Here is a review of a magazine I, or somebody else, purchased for my reading enjoyment some 10 years ago, the August 2000 issue of Pro Wrestling Illustrated. This issue is apparently a Special Collector's Issue, whatever that means, and covers 'Y2K's Greatest Cards'. Those cards being Wrestlemania 2000, WCW Uncensored 2000, and ECW Living Dangerously 2000. If those were 2000's greatest cards, then 2000 must have been a lot worse than I remembered. Anyway, here's the cover of the issue, courtesy of the PWI website:

The magazine starts with publisher Stu Saks offering his opinion about the return of Eric Bischoff to a power position of WCW, just two months after Bischoff told a reporter that it would take 'more than an act of congress and less than an act of God' for WCW to reinstall him as head booker. In hindsight, they either should have just given Bischoff full power or find somebody else instead of going with the failed Bischoff-Russo regime. Up next is the letters section, and a common theme in the letters is how much WCW sucks. Other letters praised Jerry Lawler for his commentary, Balls Mahoney for his hardcore wrestling skills, and another letter called for the NWA Title to be recognized as an official world title. At the time, the NWA Title was held by Naoya Ogawa, not exactly a household name today. Although he did beat Gary Goodridge at Pride 6, so at least he had shoot fighting credibility.  Following the letters, we get more columns, including ringside with Will Welsh, in which he writes about Bischoff, the surprising track record of ECW's Judge Jeff Jones, and Chris Jericho's call for Hulk Hogan to retire on his website. Dave Lenker follows with his column, where he implores Bret Hart to retire for good (which he would) and talks about Jake Roberts's 'performance' in Beyond the Mat. It's been a while since I've seen that film, but Jake the Snake doesn't come off too well,




More columns follow, as Brandi Mankiewicz berates readers and slams Hulk Hogan just like everyone else was around this time for not stepping back and letting the young stars shine. Meanwhile, Frank Krewda gets all nostalgic and wishes wrestling would turn back the clock some, bringing back such concepts as monthly title defenses, a clear line between good vs. evil where pimps are not celebrated, and referees who actually withold the rules instead of looking like clueless putzes, much like the referees in ECW.

The magazine's cover story is next, about the greatest cards of 2000 or something like that. Up first is a recap of WCW Uncensored 2000, which the article damns with faint praise by saying it was at least better than Uncensored 1995. I'd disagree with that, but then that would probably mean that I'd have to go back and watch both shows to compare them, and I'd rather not. The main event of Uncensored 2000 was the same as Uncensored 1999, a mess of a match between Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair, this one being a strap match. Even the recaper seemed bored by this show, and it's their job over at PWI to overhype everything. According to the article, the best moment was a move similar to one seen in ECW years before, in which the Wall chokeslammed Crowbar off a scaffold.



Up next is Wrestlemania 2000, which only cost $34.95 on PPV. Now a days, it cost 40 dollars to buy WWE Coal Miner's Glove or whatever gimmick match they push there PPVs around these days, but I digress. Wrestlemania 2000 was built around the main event in which a McMahon was in every corner, with Vince McMahon representing The Rock, Stephanie in Triple-H's corner, Shane with the Big Show, and Linda in Mick Foley's corner. The match ended in a shocking development when Linda McMahon somehow landed on top of Triple-H and the ref counted to three, making her the first female WWE World Champion. Actually, Vince turned on The Rock, then after the match The Rock destroyed everybody and gave Stephanie a People's Elbow. Also on the card, Kurt Angle lost two titles without being pinned (the Intercontental and European to Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho, respectively), Pete Rose took a stinkface from Rikishi, and the three way ladder match between the Hardys, the Dudleys, and Edge and Christian stole the show. Here are highlights from that match, set to Chris Benoit's WCW theme for some reason:



The last of the big three supercards to be profiled was ECW's Living Dangerously 2000, which I remember for two reasons. One was the Dusty Rhodes vs. Steve Corino match that was an entertaining brawl full of blood, and the other was New Jack and Grimes' fall off a scaffold in which Grimes nearly killed New Jack by landing on his head. Other than that, the main event was Super Crazy vs. Rhino for the television title, which drew high praise from the magazine despite the lack of star power in the match, and a three team tag match was featured in which the Impact Players won the tag titles from Mike Awesome and Raven and Masato Tanaka and Tommy Dreamer. Plus, Joey Styles and Cyrus played some Hardcore Revolution on the air, which I'm sure sucked.



After a color section featuring pictures from the three previously mentioned supercards, there's a quick article about the 2000 Super 8 Tournament hosted by ECWA. Christopher Daniels won the eight man tournament by defeating the 'Black Nature Boy' Scoot Andrews in the finals. I always thought Andrews would make it further in wrestling, but he just never got his big break and retired in 2005. An interview with Rob Van Dam follows, and Van Dam talks at length about his injury suffered before his feud with Mike Awesome over the ECW Title, as well as his experiences in WCW and the WWF and he discusses what ECW must do in order to take the next step. It seems hard to believe now, but around this time ECW was being talked about as a company that could one day challenge the WWF and surpass WCW by the end of 2000. Of course, ECW ran out of money and closed up shop in 2001, but at the time the future looked bright. Anyway, Van Dam also talks about training with The Sheik and his endorsement of marijuana. Unlike most PWI interviews, this one actually seems legit and is still an interesting read today, as RVD is quite outspoken on a variety of topics.

The last major article is a list of the top 12 Supercard matches in Wrestling history according to PWI. Want to know the list? Well here it is:

1. Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, Wrestlemania 3
2. Bruno Sammartino vs. Pedro Morales, Shea Stadium, 9/30/72
3. Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels, Wrestlemania 10
4. Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant, Wrestlemania 3
5. Ric Flair vs. Harley Race, Starrcade 83
6. Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn, Living Dangerously 99
7. Kerry Von Erich vs. Ric Flair, David Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions, 05/06/84
8. Antonio Inoki vs. Ric Flair, Collision in Korea, 4/29/95
9. Bruno Sammartino vs. Larry Zbyszko, Showdown at Shea, 8/9/80
10. Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart, Summerslam 1994
11. Undertaker vs. Mankind, King of the Ring 1998
12. Ricky Steamboat vs. Ric Flair, Chi-Town Rumble 1989

I've seen every match on this list except for number 2, and of those 12, only numbers 1, 3, 10, and 12 would probably make my list, while 5, 6, 7, and 11 were decent matches and the rest weren't very good. Anyway, this seems like a topic that I might revisit in the near future. The magazine finishes with a few columns. Media watch reveals that the WWF will soon be moving Monday Night Raw to TNN and also discusses Beyond the Mat. Meanwhile, Dave Rosenbaum wonders just what WCW can do to dig themselves out of their hole and also wonders if WCW is going the way of exctinction. As it turns out, Rosenbaum was right on that point. Harry Burkett writes about the Impact Players and wonders why they must antagonize everybody they come across. Well, it's because Lance Storm is a jerk, I guess. The Japan and Mexico reports follow. In Japan, the Super J Cup 2000 is about to take place while in All-Japan, Jun Akiyama finally pinned Mitsuharu Misawa in a singles match. Meanwhile in Mexico, Abismo Negro won the fourth annual AAA Rey de Reyes tournament by disqualification, and Perro Aguayo is in the midst of wrapping up his career, although like any good wrestler, Aguayo would eventually come back to the ring. Finally, the monthly rankings follow, with The Rock ranked at number one this month while the Dudleys top the tag ranks, and there's an advertisement for ECW Hardcore Revolution on the back cover, which just serves to remind me how bad that game is.

Overall, this wasn't too bad of an issue, thanks in large part to the RVD interview. I do have to question the decision to cover WCW Uncensored at such length, but then again I don't think they had any other choice, as Super Brawl was even worse that year. Overall, I'd give it a 5.85 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading a review of me reading, and if you have any thoughts about this or other posts, or ideas for future reviews, than share them either by leaving a comment or by e-mail at kthec2001@gmail.com.

The 2BWE Video Project: Pages 8-11

This is the the first part of the Big Bad WWE Encyclopedia Project, in which I watch one video featuring each entry in said encyclopedia. For more about the guidelines of this project, look to the post below this one here. The first post will deal with pages 8-11, which has 15 entries spread across the four pages. So, let's get started, shall we.

Page 8- 3 Minute Warning: Rob Van Dam and Kane vs 3 Minute Warning

This match took place on the February 10, 2003 edition of Raw. Unfortunately, Johnathan Coachman is on commentary. 3 Minute Warning comes out with their manager, Rico. You may think that it wouldn't make much sense to pair a hairdresser with a duo of Samoan street thugs, and you'd be right. Rosey comes out wearing a shirt that says '350' on it, which must not be his weight since he looks a good 50 pounds over that number. RVD and Jamal start off, and RVD gets a quick two count after a legsweep followed by a standing moonsault. Jamal whips RVD into the corner in charges, only to get a back elbow to the face. RVD leaps to the top, but Jamal shoves him off the turnbuckle and into the barrier on the outside. Rico does his part by rolling RVD back in, and Rosey is tagged in and gets a two count after a big splash. 3MW keep RVD grounded in their corner with brawling tactics and quick tags, and Jamal gets a two count after a superkick. In an unwise move, Jamal decides to go after Kane and knocks him off the apron. He then tries a double team move with Rosey, but RVD moves out of the way and rolls over to tag in the big man, Kane. Kane is, as Coachman put it "on fire", taking on both members of 3MW with ease. A flying clothesline takes down Rosey, and Kane goes to chokeslam Jamal, but Rosey breaks that up. Which turns out to be only a minor setback, as Kane clotheslines Jamal down and takes down Rosey with a big boot. RVD and Kane do a modified Rocket Launcher, which ends with Jamal taking a sidekick to the face, and then Jamal takes Rolling Thunder. Rosey breaks up the cover, but Kane quickly disposes of him. Jamal misses a charge to the corner, and staggers after a leaping side kick from RVD. That allows Kane to chokeslam the big man, and RVD puts on the finishing touches with a 5 Star Frog Splash while Kane holds off Rosey and Rico. Post match, RVD and Kane celebrate their victory with thumb pointing and pyrotechnics. Quick tag match that wasn't too bad, but nothing too remarkable. I'd give it a 1.75 out of 5.

P8- Abe Knuckleball Schwartz: Abe Knuckleball Schwartz Theme Music

To the shock of no one, there isn't much videos of the man with a baseball painted on his face, so this is the best I could do. It's not much of a theme either, as it sounds like a MIDI version of 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame'. I'll let you judge for yourself how good it is here:

 


P8- Adam Bomb: Adam Bomb and Johnny Polo WWF Debut vs Bert Centeno

This match is from the May 22, 1993 episode of WWF Superstars and is the debut of Mr. Bomb, who comes to the ring with Johnny Polo. Both Mr. Bomb and Mr. Polo would have many other monikers during their careers, as you might best know them from WCW as Wrath and Raven, respectively. Adam Bomb has some cool sounding theme music, and some really ugly yellow sunglasses on, while Centeno is from Puetro Rico and shockingly, does not have an entry in the WWE Encyclopedia. Bomb backs Centeno into a corner and wails away on him before he gets bored of that and sidewalk slams Centeno down. Bomb shows off his aerial skills with a dropkick, and then throws Centeno out of the ring. After some brawling on the outside, Bomb throws Centeno in, and then knocks him down again with a slingshot shoulderblock from the apron that the announcers found impressive. Bomb asks if we're ready to see the bomb, and whether Centeno was ready or not, he takes the power bomb and the loss. Not much to say about this one, but the match did make Adam Bomb look good in his debut, so it accomplished it's goal. I'd give it a 1.5 out of 5.

 

P8- Adorable Adrian Adonis - Snake Pit with Adorable Adrian Adonis and Jimmy Hart

I think this is from the December 7, 1986 episode of Wrestling Challenge, but I'm not 100 % sure. Jake Roberts starts by quoting a few lines from Prince's 'When Doves Cry'. Then we get a recap of last's week return of Adorable Adrian where he attacked Roddy Piper on Piper's Pit, which seems to make Roberts happy. Adonis and Jimmy Hart come out and present Roberts with some flowers, including one for Roberts' snake Damien. Adonis then accuses Piper of being jealous of him and his former interview segment, the Flower Shop, and threatens anybody that gets in his way as he calls himself the 'Judge Wapner' of wrestling. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing to be, but that's the analogy Adonis has chosen to use. Roberts wraps things up by saying "We (meaning him and Adonis, I suppose) were not born from the original sin, but we may well be the original sinners". I'm going to use that line at my next job interview or family gathering. I tell you, they don't have any characters like Roberts and Adonis anymore in wrestling, and that's not a good thing. I'd give the segment a 3.2 out of 5.


P9- Adrian Adonis and Dick Murdoch - Hulk Hogan and Antonio Inoki vs Adrian Adonis and Dick Murdoch

This match is from New Japan Pro Wrestling, and I think the date of this match is November 25, 1983, but I'm not exactly sure. Adonis and Murdoch would be WWF Tag Team Champions a few months after this match, which takes place against the top two guts in New Japan at the time. Adonis and Inoki start, and after some rope-running, Inoki catches Adonis with a drop toe hold before tagging in Hogan. Back elbow by Hogan, and Adonis bounces off the elbow and into the nearby ropes to get slammed by Hogan. Hogan with the big legdrop, but only gets a one count. Murdoch and Adonis use some underhanded tactics to gain the advantage, and Murdoch is tagged in. Arm wringer by Murdoch, but Hogan is strong enough to get in his corner and tag out to Inoki. Murdoch gets a side headlock, only to take a back suplex for his efforts. However, Murdoch is able to regain the advantage with some punches and kicks, and tags out to Adonis, and the two deliver a double elbow drop to Inoki. Adonis and Murdoch prove to be masters of tag team psychology by keeping Inoki in their corner with brawling tactics, quick tags, and chinlocks. Inoki tries to move himself to tag out to Hogan, but Adonis breaks it up by coming in and smashing Hogan with a fist, riling the Hulkster up and causing the ref to hold him back. Murdoch gets a two count after an atomic drop, and then he and Adonis double team Inoki as Adrian drops an elbow on his opponent while Murdoch holds him across his knee. Adonis puts Inoki in a backbreaker submission which ends when Murdoch is tagged in and drops the knee across Inoki's gut. A Murdoch elbow drop gets a two count, as does a swinging neckbreaker, and Murdoch tags out after a piledriver. Adonis then makes his first mistake of the match attempting to put Inoki in an abdominal stretch, but Inoki reverses it into one of his own, then uses the opening to tag in Hogan. Hogan whips Adonis off the ropes and catches him with a running knee lift that knocks Adonis back into the ropes with such force that he gets tied up in the ropes. After punching and biting Adonis, Adrian escapes with the help of Murdoch, only to take a suplex from Hogan for a two count.  Hogan then grounds Adonis with a front headlock, which Adonis only escapes after an eye gouge. Adonis then hits an inverted Atomic Drop on Hogan before tagging out to Murdoch. Murdoch pounds away at Hogan's face before attempting a suplex, but it's blocked. After some brawling, Hogan whips Murdoch into a corner and charges, only to take an elbow from Murdoch that sounded as if a firecracker went off. A Murdoch elbow drop gets two, as does an Adonis elbow from the second rope after a tag. Hogan shakes the cobwebs off, whips Adonis into the ropes and attempts his patented Axe Bomber clothesline, but Adonis ducks and hits a clothesline of his own. Adonis misses a charge and Hogan tags to Inoki, who takes care of Adonis with a dropkick and an enziguri. Murdoch breaks the cover up, and oh here go hell come as all four men are now brawling in the ring. Then they go out of the ring, but Adonis is the only one able to beat the ref's count, so your winners by countout are Adonis and Murdoch. Pretty good match that makes me wonder what they could have done with a 18-20 minute instead of the ten they were given here, as it did feel somewhat rushed. Still, I'd give it a 2.7 out of 5.

P9- Ahmed Johnson: Ahmed Johnson Joins Nation Of Domination

This video is what it says it is, as Ahmed Johnson joins the Nation of Domination on the June 16, 1997 edition of Raw. Fortunately, Ahmed does not speak during this video. Instead he gives Undertaker the Pearl River Plunge after a match, goes to the entrance ramp, and gives the Nation salute along with the rest of his new cohorts. Jim Ross does not seem too happy on commentary, wondering why Ahmed wouldn't stand up to the Undertaker on his own instead of waiting until two other men beat him down. Well, that's just how it is in wrestling. Ahmed would be in the Nation for about a week before suffering another injury, then coming back from that injury to be kicked out of the Nation. So in hindsight, this really meant nothing, but it was shocking at the time since Ahmed and the Nation were at odds for nearly a year at this point. Oh well. I'll give this a 2.1 out of 5.

P9- Al Perez: Brad Armstrong vs Al Perez

In case you don't know, Al Perez was a wrestler who had his most success in the late 1980s with World Class and the NWA before moving on to a brief stint in the WWF. After that, Perez was allegedly supposed to be revealed as the mysterious Dark Scorpion in WCW, but refused to job to Sting and left the company. Anyway, I don't really know when this match is from except that it took place sometime in 1988. We are joined in progress as Perez (w/ Gary Hart) has Armstrong in an arm wringer, then backs him into a corner. Perez misses an elbow drop after snapmaring Armstrong down, and after the two get to their feet, Armstrong puts Perez in an arm wringer. Despite Perez's best efforts, Armstrong shows dogged determination and just refuses to let go of that arm. Finally, after a minute and a half, Perez backs Armstrong into the corner and catches him with a knee to the gut. He goes to whip Armstrong into another corner, but dang it if Brad doesn't grab a hold of that arm again. Both men get back up, and the two have a bit of a stare-off before a tie up. Perez tries to smash Armstrong in the corner, but is literally beaten to the punch, so Perez backs away in pain. Back up, Armstrong once again works on Perez's arm with a standing arm bar. Perez gets out of it with brawling tactics and sends Armstrong to the ropes, only to be knocked down with a shoulder block. Perez does get the upper hand after ducking a charging Armstrong, which sends Armstrong through the ropes and outside the ring. Armstrong takes a stun gun (Steve Austin's old finisher, not a taser) throat first on the guardrail, and Perez continues to beat on Armstrong on the outside of the ring while making sure to break the ref's count. Perez with a whirly-bird maneuver followed by a leaping knee drop, but Armstrong is able to kick out at the last second. Perez with a front chinlock, and Jim Ross states that he believes Perez is a future World Champion. Well, at the time I'm sure it made sense, but time makes fools of us all. Armstrong has a brief offensive flurry, but Perez cuts it off with a punch to the ribcage, and keeps control with a mixture of strikes and basic wrestling holds. After a minute or two of this, Armstrong finally gets on his feet and escapes, then slams Perez down to the mat. Armstrong with a running elbow drop, but Perez moves out of the way, and then hits a leaping knee drop for another two count. Perez throws Armstrong into the corner but misses a charge, so Armstrong goes to work on Perez. At this point, the video stops, and the poster didn't post the rest of this match, so I'm left to rate what I saw. From what I could tell, this wasn't too bad of a match, as both wrestlers were strong technical wrestlers who were able to put together some nifty sequences, even if all the arm work by Armstrong was soon forgotten. I'd give it a 2.4 out of 5.


P9- Al Snow: Al Snow Reveals "The Five Deadliest Maneuvers"

This video kind of sucks, as Bill Apter of 1wrestling.com asks Al Snow what in his opinion is the five deadliest maneuvers in wrestling. Snow manages to show his sense of humor by making lame-ass jokes about Bill Apter's privates and some jokes about Pat Patterson's sexual preferences. He lists the piledriver as the most dangerous maneuver in wrestling and once again makes a dumb sophomoric joke. Even though it was two minutes long, it's two minutes I'd rather have spent doing something else, so I'll give it a 0.15 out of 5.


P10- Albert: Too Cool and Rikishi vs. Val Venis, Test, and Albert (w/ Trish Stratus)

This match took place on June 5, 2000 episode of Raw, a week after Too Cool (Grandmaster Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty) won the tag team titles. For some reason, the beginning of the match is chopped out, so after the entrances, the video goes straight to Rikishi wailing away on Val Venis. A Samoan Drop by Rikishi flattens Val, and then Rikishi catches Test and Albert with clotheslines. Rikishi sets up Val for the Stinkface, but Albert barges best and smashes Rikishi into the corner. Test comes in and sends Rikishi down with a big boot, and Trish's team works over Rikishi like a 400 pound Samoan punching bag while the ref restrains his teammates. After Rikishi reverses an Irish whip, Albert goes for a sunset flip, which proves to be a poor idea as Rikishi sits on his chest multiple times, knocking the breath out of the man they call Albert. Grandmaster Sexay is tagged in, and takes all three of his opponents down with dropkicks. In comes Scotty, and the two double team both Test and Albert. Sexay with a powerbomb on Venis, but Test breaks up the pinfall. However, Test gets bulldoged down by Scotty, setting him up for one of the most asinine moves in wrestling, the Worm. The fans seem to love it though, and after Scotty does his thing. Sexay hits the Hip Hop legdrop from the top rope and covers, but the ref is distracted with Rikishi and Val brawling on the outside. While the ref is away, Trish comes in and tries to hit Sexay with a boot, but that's blocked, and Sexay uses the boot to flatten Test. But the ref is still distracted, so Val sneaks in and hits Grandmaster with a title belt, which results in the pinfall and gives the victory to T & A and Val. Post match, Rikishi takes care of buisness while his teammates recover, and eventually Val is down in the corner in perfect position for the stinkface. Trish comes back in the ring to prevent this from happening, but after a series of unfortunate events it is Trish that ends taking the Stinkface, which is just as disgusting as it sounds. This match wasn't very good. I'll give it a 1.3 out of 5.


P10- Aldo Montoya: Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw vs. Aldo Montoya

The Portuguese Man O' War, the incredible Aldo Montoya, takes on future WWE Champion Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw in a match from the May 13, 1996 edition of Monday Night Raw. Before all that, we get a clip of Terry Bradshaw talking about Armor All. Aldo has a more elaborate entrance than one would think he would get, complete with fireworks and all. Bradshaw comes out to the ring with Uncle Zebekeih. The match starts, and Aldo tries a hit-and-run approach by using a dropkick and staying away from the big man after getting a strike or two, but eventually he gets caught after a cross-body attempt and slammed to the mat. Bradshaw retains control until Montoya rebounds from an Irish Whip into the corner and clotheslines his opponent down. The tide turns, however, after Bradshaw powerbombs Montoya while Uncle Zeb is on commentary accusing the WWF's big stars of avoiding Bradshaw. Bradshaw with a big slam and a running senton (huh?), and then he celebrates with a Stan Hansen esque taunt. Bradshaw continues to dominate with a bearhug and a series of punches, a body slam, and an elbow drop. Finally, Montoya gets a break after ducking a clothesline and knocking Bradshaw off balance with two dropkicks, then going to the top and knocking down his opponent with a dropkick from there. Montoya's moment of glory doesn't last for long, as Bradshaw reverses an Irish whip and then plants him with a big boot before putting on the finishing touches with a big time clothesline. That gets the three count. Post-match, Montoya is 'branded' by Uncle Zeb, by which I mean he places a branding iron on his chest for half a second without leaving a mark. Eh, wasn't too bad, but not that good either. I'll give it a 1.65 out of 5.


P10- Alexis Smirnoff: AWA Bobby Bold Eagle, Pete Sanchez vs. Yuri Gordyenko, Alexis Smirnoff

This match is from an AWA on ESPN episode in 1986. From what I can tell, this match aired on December 31, 1986. Gordyenko and Smirnoff are both stereotypical Russians that have patterned their look after Ivan Koloff, while Bold Eagle is supposed to be a Native American but looks about as pale as I do. Smirnoff and Sanchez start out, with Smirnoff controlling Sanchez with an arm bar. Tag to Yuri, he does a couple of strikes and tags out to Smirnoff. Smirnoff continues to work on the arm before Sanchez is able to escape and at least get to his feet. However, that doesn't last long as a Smirnoff big boot knocks him back down. Tag to Yuri, he slams down Sanchez and stomps on him before tagging out again. Sanchez is able to use his veteran mind to get over and tag in Bold Eagle, who strikes Smirnoff a couple of times and whipping him into the corner, only to be caught with a big boot and selling that move by slowly falling on his knees, much to the displeasure of this crown. Eagle takes another big boot, and then takes a vertical suplex before Gordyenko is tagged in. The two Russian then double team Eagle by giving him a dual Stun Gun on the ropes, and Gordyenko gets the three count. Well, that was not good at all. Post match, the Russians are interviewed by Larry Nelson, with Gordyenko doing most of the talking. That makes little sense, as Gordyenko is, shall I say, not very good on the mic. Anyway, they promise to win the Tag Team Titles and take them home to mother Russia. This video, all in all, wasn't very good, and Bobby Bold Eagle is rather terrible as a wrestler. I'll give it a 0.69 out of 5.

P10- Alicia Fox: Melina vs. Alicia Fox

This match took place on the June 19, 2009 edition of Smackdown and features WWE Women's Champion Melina in a non-title match against Fox. It is announced, that Melina will defend her title against Michelle McCool in nine days, and McCool accompanies Fox to the ring. Tie-up to start, both women get out. Alicia tries a clothesline but Melina does a bridge and then kicks Alicia in the face from that position. Melina tries to keep the advantage with punches, but Alicia does a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker out of nowhere that gets a one count. Alicia then keeps Melina on the mat with a legscissors, and then turns that instead some sort of hybrid full-nelson camel clutch hold that I'd never seen before. Looks like a good hold for a finisher, although it would take multiple steps to apply. But I digress. Anyway, Melina gets up and ducks a clothesline, climbs on Fox's back and then does a sunset flip powerbomb to get the three count. Post match, Michelle McCool comes in and kicks Melina in the face. She then sets Melina up against a table and does a running knee into Melina's head. McCool grabs the mic and promises to become Women's Champion and bring the title home to Mother Russia. Well, maybe not that last part. Quick match that wasn't too bad, so I'd give it a 1.75 out of 5.


P11- The Alliance: Team WWF (The Undertaker, Kane, Big Show, Rock, and Chris Jericho) vs. The Alliance (Shane McMahon, Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Kurt Angle, and Steve Austin)

This match took place at Survivor Series 2001, and fortunately for me, I already did a review of this match somewhere else, so while I will watch it, I will be lazy and just use a previous review right here because the match is rather long, so here it is:
This is a elimination tag battle to see who survives another day, the WWF or the Alliance, wrapping up a horribly botched angle where Kurt Angle represents two companies he never wrestled for. The video starts with another montage, illustrating a) that Rock and Jericho haven't been getting along, b) that Angle and Austin haven't been getting along, and c) that Vince McMahon claims that Stone Cold will swerve his team in the match. The video ends with all 10 superstars shown with a Puddle of Mudd song in the background, kind of killing the moment. All 10 men come out separately, which takes up a lot of time. Rock and Austin start trading punches, and the match is on. For the first ten minutes, everybody but Big Show and Shane get in. For some reason, it seems the Undertaker and Booker T spend the most time in. Nothing too significant of note, other than the Undertaker hitting two Old Schools and Shane Mcmahon breaks up about 8 pinfalls, pissing Jim Ross off in the process. The Big Show finally gets tagged in, and he's a HOUSE OF FIRE for a minute, knocking everyone down in his path like a wild tornado through a county fair. He goes to chokeslam Angle, but gets out, goes behind him, and hits the Olympic Slam on Show. Angle tags in Booker, who hits the ax kick with a spinarooni thrown in for good measure. RVD comes in, hits the frog splash, then tags in Shane, who hits a sub-Test level elbow drop on Show to get the three-count, making Show the first man eliminated. Poor guy was only in there for a minute, but whatever. Shane dances around like a jackass, only to turn around to find The Rock waiting for him. The Rock pounds him. Kane comes in, hits a chokeslam, tags out to Undertaker, who hits a nasty-looking tombstone. Then Jericho is tagged in to hit the lionsault and get the pin, evening the score. Angle comes in, gets the advantage, then tags in Booker, who gives Jericho three bodyslams in a row. Kane comes in after awhile, but gets doubled by Booker and RVD. Rvd hits a frog splash on Kane, but the count is broken up and suddenly, everybody's brawling on the outside, except for RVD and Kane. RVD goes back up to the top, kicks Kane in the face, and gets the three count, eliminating Kane. Undertaker comes in and starts dominating people, at one point clotheslining everybody on the other team down in each corner of the ring. He gives Angle the Last Ride, but Austin gets Taker with the Stunner for the three, giving the Alliance a 4-2 advantage. Rock and Booker square off, but Rock quickly gains the advantage. Rock rolls up Booker, and gets the three count. Now things are a bit even. RVD comes in and takes it right to The Rock. RVD goes to the top, but the Rock powerbombs him off for a two count. Jericho is tagged in, and he and RVD exchange some offense. At one point, I think RVD kicked Jericho straight in the mouth. RVD goes for a split-legged moonsault, but Jericho gets the knees up, I guess, and then hits THE STROKE?!? for a three count. I totally forgot that short period of time where they tried to get the Stroke over as a finisher for Jericho. Just as well they gave up on that. Now the sides are even, but Angle and Austin isolate Jericho with fine brawling action. Jericho fires back, however and goes for a clothesline. He and Austin meet head on and both men are down. Austin tags Angle, and Jericho gets the hot tag to the Rock. Rock catches Angle with a dragon-screw leg whip, puts the sharpshooter on, and Angle taps instantly, giving the WWF a 2-1 advantage. Uh-Oh. Austin knocks down the Rock, Jericho tags himself in. Austin nearly gets the three after reversing Jericho's flying bodypress attempt. Jericho tries for the Walls of Jericho, it's countered. Austin tries his own version, but again it is countered. Austin then awkwardly rolls Jericho up for the three count, leaving the match at 1-1. Jericho won't leave, but Rock gets in and spinebusters Austin down. But WAITAMINUTE, Jericho lays out The Rock with the Stroke. Jericho walks away smugly, but Rock kicks out at two. Jericho comes back to lay some more plunder on the Rock, but Undertaker comes out to put an end to that. Rock and Austin go outside to do some brawling. They come back in, and Austin puts a poor looking sharpshooter on The Rock. The Rock, unsurprisingly, gets to the rope. Rock counters with a poor looking sharpshooter of his own, but again, Austin gets to the rope. They both try to hit their finisher, but Rock finally lands a STUNNER on Austin. He nearly gets a three, but referee Earl Hebner is pulled out by everyone's favorite referee, Nick Patrick. Austin hits a Rock Bottom on Rock, but Patrick doesn't count fast enough yet again and The Rock kicks out. Austin punches Patrick, and Patrick sells a punch like only Nick Patrick can. Austin hits a stunner on Rock, but there be no referee. Kurt Angle comes out, hits Austin with Austin's own WWF Title, propelling him into The Rock, who hits the Rock Bottom from there. Hebner wakes up, and Rock gets the final pinfall, "saving" the WWF in the process. Vince McMahon comes out with his arms up in the air and throwing his jacket down in celebration. Match was pretty good and suspenseful, particularly when Austin and The Rock was in there, but man was it long, which in this situation makes sense, I suppose.

Well, I didn't give a numerical score to this match before, so I will now. Overall, I'd give it a 3.68 out of 10.

P11- The Allied Powers: Allied Powers vs. Jeff Jarrett and The Roadie

This match was taped on May 15, 1995 and later shown as part of the Coliseum Video title 'Wrestlefest 95'. Lex Luger and Davey Boy Smith, the Allied Powers, are led to the ring by two guest flag bearers. The video cuts part of the beginning off, so it's joined in progress as Jarrett arm drags Smith and then struts around the ring, and then he does that same sequence again. Irish whip by Jarrett is reversed by Smith, who follows up with a pair of clotheslines. Delayed vertical suplex by Davey Boy, who then goes for the pinfall, but The Roadie breaks it up. He's tagged in and slows Davey Boy down with some brawling tactics, but Smith gets the advantage once again after a pair of headlock takedowns and tags in Luger. A double back elbow by the Powers gets a two count, and then Luger tries to go to work on the arm, but a knee to the gut stops his momentum. Roadie punches Luger a few times before entering the corner and tasting a back elbow from Luger, who follows up with a pair of arm drags and an armbar. Roadie gets back up, elbows Luger in the face, and tags out to Jarrett, who comes in and starts wailing away on Luger. Jarrett whips Luger into the ropes and tries to hit him with a back elbow, but Luger ducks and gives Jarrett a gorilla press slam instead. Luger puts Jarrett in the 'Rebel Rack', but the Roadie comes in and chop blocks Luger in the knee. Tag to Roadie, he gets a two count after a knee drop and then tags to Jarrett. Luger nearly gets a pinfall after a sunset flip, then he takes a Jarrett clothesline and goes down. After some stomps, Jarrett whips Luger in and ducks, only to take a DDT type maneuver (Luger just grabs him by the hair and falls back, sending Jarrett down to the mat). Both men get back up, then get back down again after a double clothesline. Roadie is tagged in, and now so is Davey Boy, who starts cleaning house on his opponent with a series of clotheslines, then does a double noggin knocker on Jarrett and Roadie. Vertical Suplex on the Roadie, but Jarrett breaks up the count. Luger takes care of Jarrett while Davey Boy scoops up Roadie and delivers the Running Power Slam. Cover, and Davey Boy gets the victory for his team. Well, I guess it wasn't that bad, so I'll give it a 2.15 out of 5.

P11- Alundra Blayze: Alundra Blayze vs. Luna Vachon


The women formerly known and later known as Madusa, Alundra Blayze defends her WWF Women's Championship against Luna Vachon in a match from the July 7, 1994 edition of WWF Superstars. Luna starts off strong by backing Blayze into the ropes and delivering a few knees to the gut, but loses the advantage after Alundra ducks a pair of clotheslines and then flattens Vachon with a dropkick. A Blayze Irish whip into the corner is reversed, but Blayze once again is too quick for Vachon, as she flips over the ropes and then dodges a charging Luna, sending Vachon flying to the outside. Luna collects herself, then trips up Blayze and slams her leg into the ring post. Back in the ring, Luna applies a Boston Crab. After struggling to escape for about a minute, Blayze somehow does a sunset flip from the Boston Crab and nearly gets a three count. Luna gets back up first, and slows Alundra down with some brawling tactics and a leglock. Vachon whips Alundra into the corner and charges, but Blayze is able to use her quickness advantage again to apply a sunset flip for a two count. But Luna is up again, and catapults Alundra throat first into the bottom rope, then follows up with a swinging neckbreaker. Luna goes to the ropes, and hits the Vader Bomb on her opponent, but since Luna doesn't have nearly the same girth as Vader, Alundra is able to kick out at two. After a bodyslam, Luna tries to finish things up with a top-rope maneuver, but misses the big splash. Alundra is up quickly and bulldogs Luna down to the mat. Luna misses a punch, which allows Blayze to get behind Luna and German suplex Vachon. Blayze bridges and holds on long enough to get the three count. Short match, but a solid effort all in all. I'd give it a 2.1 out of 5.

Well, that's it for the first part of the Big Bad WWE Encyclopedia Video Project, a.k.a. the BWE squared Video Project. If you have a better name, then do not hesitate to suggest it. Also, if you have any thoughts about the project thus far or any other posts, or you have an idea for future posts, then let me know about those thoughts and ideas either by leaving a comment on the blog or by sending me an e-mail at kthec2001@gmail.com.

Canon Wrestling Review: ECW It Ain't Seinfeld: May 14, 1998

On May 14, 1998, while the rest of the world was watching the final episode of Seinfeld (actually, in my house we taped Seinfeld and watched WCW Thunder that night, then watched Seinfeld the next day), ECW decided to hold a wrestling show at the Elks Lodge in New York City, and many ECW diehards came out to see the show. In hindsight, it was probably the right decision, as the Seinfeld finale was probably the most disappointing in the history of television, but that's a topic for another day. But was It Ain't Seinfeld a better show? Well, there's only one way to find out.

The first match of the night is between Justin Credible (w/ Jason and Chastity) and "Dynamic" Jerry Lynn. Joey Styles claims that Jerry Lynn is underutilized in ECW. Well, that would change. The two do a series of tieups to start, then Credible gets frustrated and shoves Lynn down. Lynn responds with a takedown and punches. After a series of leapfrogs, Lynn catches Credible with a spinning back elbow that gets a two count. Lynn whips Credible and Justin flips over the turnbuckle onto the apron, where Lynn charges and knocks Credible into the guardrail. Lynn then catches Credible with a baseball slide that sends Credible over the rail, and then performs a running somersault plancha off the apron onto Credible. Back in, Lynn gets a two count, then uses the "Minneapolis Jam" legdrop to get another two count. Lynn attempts a suplex, but Credible sneaks out and drops his opponent with a reverse DDT. After brawling with Lynn, Jason throws Credible a chair, and Justin uses it to steal Raven's drop-toe-hold into a chair, which gets a two count. More brawling by Credible in the corner, and a powerbomb from a seated position in the corner gets a two for Credible. Credible slows the match down with a chinlock. Back up, Lynn comes off the ropes with a sunset flip and a two count, then gets flattened by a diving clothesline. Credible gets a chair and dives off the top rope, only to get the chair jammed into his face by Jerry Lynn's boot. Dropkick by Lynn into the chair in front of Credible's face, then Lynn follows with a bulldog out of the corner onto the chair. Cover, only gets two. Lynn charges at Credible, but Credible ducks and Lynn goes flying to the outside of the ring. Jason interferes with a backbreaker on Lynn and rolls Lynn in. That gets two, and so does Credible's sloppy looking running spinning DDT. Vertical suplex attempted by Credible, but Lynn counters with a snap suplex while Chastity goes to distract the ref. Lynn to the top, only to be shoved off by Jason. Credible sets up Lynn for That's Incredible, but Lynn reverses, and hits Credible's own finishing move on him to get the three count. Not a bad opening match at all. I'll give it a 3 out of 5.

Next is the legendary Sabu (w/ Bill Alfonso) against the decidedly less legendary Danny Doring. Sabu is all over Doring to start the match, attacking him with punches and an elbow drop. He sits Doring up, and then catches him with a slingshot side-kick. Sabu sets up Doring in the corner, grabs a chair, and throws it in Doring's face, which made me laguh, at least. He then launches off the chair to dropkick Doring in the face. Cover, but Doring kicks out. Sabu continues the assault with a drop kick to the knee and a back body drop. Doring reverses an irish whip, only to take another dropkick to the knee. Sabu sets up a table between the guardrail and apron. Doring takes off with a suicide dive, only for Sabu to shrug him off. Sabu sets Doring up, sets up a chair and the ring, and launches himself off the ropes to elbow drop Doring through the table. Back in the ring. Alfonso holds a chair over Doring's head, and Sabu legdrops the chair into Doring from the top rope. A camel clutch is applied by Sabu, and Doring taps out. Really, this match was just an exhibition to show off Sabu, but at least it was entertaining and Sabu didn't blow anything, so I'll give it a 1.85 out of 5.

Jamie Dundee comes out to the ring, and dances some (quite poorly, I might add) before grabbing a mic. Dundee doesn't seem to think highly of the women of New York or the fans in the crowd, stating that one fan reminds him of his nuts (I don't know how, but that's what he said). Dundee continues to insult the crowd, and throws a remark about Francine's promiscuity in before his opponent, Dundee's opponent is one-half of the Tag Team Champions, Chris Candido, who is accompanied by Francine. Before the match starts, Dundee propositions Francine to dump the zero and get with the hero, which proves to be unsuccessful. The match starts, and Dundee surprises Candido with a springboard body-press out of the irish whip and a pair of hip tosses. Candido consults with Francine while Dundee flexes. Back to action, Candido unloads on Dundee with knife edge chops, and goes to whip Dundee into the corner, but is reversed. Dundee follows up with a cartwheel into a karate chop to the shoulder. Well, I haven't seen that before. Candido is unimpressed and shoves Dundee down a couple times. Dundee decides to try and intimidate Candido with some crazy-looking martail arts poses, but gets clotheslined for his efforts. New Jersey Jam by Candido gets a two count, but Candido follows up with a delayed vertical suplex which also gets a two count. The two do a series of moves out of the corner which ends with Dundee bulldogging Candido from the second rope and getting a two count. Candido catches Dundee with a back suplex and goes for another vertical suplex, but Dundee gets out and eventually throws Candido to the outside, then catches Candido with a plancha. Some brawling on the outside of the ring follows, with finishes with Dundee rolling Candido back in and climbing the top rope, only to get caught and take a superplex from the top rope. Candido follows with a diving headbutt, and gets the three count and the victory. Not too bad of a match, although Dundee's constant obnoxiousness kind of took away from the match. I'll give it a 2.5 out of 5.

Up next is the team of the Full Blooded Italians (Little Guido and Tracey Smothers w/ the Big Don Tommy Rich) to take on the team of Super Nova and the Blue Meanie. I expect that there will be at least one dance-off in this match. Tommy Rich asked to be introduced as the newly elected President of Italy. Well then. The match starts with Nova and Smothers in the ring. Smothers takes the advantage with punches, but Nova counters with a series of arm drags before Smothers tags out to Guido, who also takes an arm drag. After an irish whip and leapfrog sequence, Guido tries to hurracanrana Nova, but takes a powerbomb instead. Meanie comes in, and Guido retreats. Tommy Rich grabs the mic, and yes, we're about to have a dance off. Smothers, the winner of the 'John Travolta dance award' according to Rich, cuts a rug, then Meanie somehow does even worse than Smothers before getting referee John Finnegan to dance, and he outdances everyone. Dropkick from behind by Smothers onto Meanie, and the FBI get into Finnegan's face. They go to attack, but Finnegan ducks, bounces off the ropes, and clotheslines both FBI members, and then follows up with a pair of hip tosses. Rich comes in, only to get shoved down by Finnegan, who is on fire right now. Guido charges at Finnegan, but he ducks, and Meanie catches him with a backdrop. Smothers follows, only to get knocked back by Meanie, and Meanie and Finnegan double clothesline Smothers over the top rope to the outside. Only in ECW. Nova with a suicide dive on both FBI members. Rich then gets involved and attacks Nova, eventually crotching him on the guardrail and rolling him back in the ring. The FBI double team Nova with a double clothesline and the Paisan elbow drop, which gets a two count. Guido and Smothers continue to attack Nova while Finnegan, apparently calling the match evenly again, restrains the Meanie. Smothers irish whips Nova, is reversed and tries for the Sunset Flip. Nova counters with the legdrop, but Smothers then catches Nova with a forceful dropkick that gets a two count. Tag to Guido, who is in control for a few seconds until Nova uses a reverse Russian leg sweep to send Guido down. Tag to Meanie, who fires a pair of dropkicks on Guido and Smothers, and then powerslams Guido out of the corner for a two count. Here comes referee Jeff Jones, and he squares off with Nova as Meanie and Smothers brawl on the outside. After a shoving match, Jones kicks Nova low, and Guido tries to take advantage with a swinging neckbreaker. But instead, Nova reverses it, and hits the Novacain (a reverse STO, and rather poorly done I might add) on Guido while Finnegan DDTs Jones. After Finnegan disposes of his fellow official, he delivers the three count and Nova and Meanie win the match. Well, that was strange, but entertaining enough. I'll give it a 2.1 out of 5.

Lance Storm, the other half of the Tag Team Champions, comes out to wrestle the next match against Balls Mahoney, probably the best wrestler ever with the first name Balls. Although I must say I do like Balls' Pantera T-Shirt. Lance and Balls start out trading basic wrestling holds, and not surprisingly, Lance gets the advantage on most of them. Lance comes off the ropes after an irish whip and misses a cross body block as Mahoney ducks out of the way. Balls follows up with a spinning heel kick that makes Lance Storm land face first on the outside of the ring. Balls uses a bell and a broken table leg to continue his assault on Storm. Then Balls takes a chair to Lance Storm's back, and follows up by dropping him throat first on the guardrail. Balls tries to dive on Lance from the apron, but Lance moves and Balls lands chin first on the guardrail. Back in the ring, Storm gets a two count after a dropkick, and comes back by whipping Balls into the corner and hitting a cartwheel body splash on Balls. Two count after a bulldog by Storm, and Lance slows the match down with a chinlock. Balls gets back up, and catches Storm's superkick attempt and counters with punches and a superkick of his own. Balls then decides that now would be a good time to take his shirt off, which doesn't do the viewing audience any favors. Powerslam by Balls gets two, and Mahoney goes to the top for an elbow drop, but misses. Storm hits the slingshot clothesline from the apron, and gets a two count. Storm goes to the top and dives, but is caught by Mahoney who sets him up for the Nutcracker Suite. However, Storm gets out and gives a spinning heel kick. Storm grabs a chair and gives Mahoney one of his trademark chair shots, which predictably does not effect Mahoney at all, and Balls fires back with punches. Storm reverses an irish whip into the corner and charges, but Balls drops him over the apron. Unfortunately for Balls, Storm lands on his feet, and as Balls goes to hit Storm with the chair, Storm uses a springboard dropkick to drive it into his face to get the pinfall victory. Nothing really worth writing home about, so I'll give it a 1.4 out of 5.

Joey Styles is in the ring while the fans chant 'Seinfeld Sucks', but is interrupted by Taz, who I guarantee is about to drop a few f-bombs. Sure enough, Taz uses the f word to describe his new belt, the FTW championship. Since he can't get a shot at Shane Douglas's world title due to Douglas's injuries, caused by Taz, Taz has decided that the next logical step is to make his own championship. He challenges Douglas to come out and take his title, but instead Bam Bam Bigelow comes out. He disputes Taz's claim of being a World Champion, and states to Taz that if he wants a piece of Douglas, he'll have to go through Bigelow to get him. Taz has no problem with that, but ECW does, as referees come out to keep the two apart. Bigelow decides to pick up one referee over his head and chuck him into the crowd, and oh here go hell come as the two trade punches and drop to the mat before additional security breaks it up.

Mikey Whipwreck gets a chance to regain the Television Title he once held against the current champion, Rob Van Dam (w/ Bill Alfonso). The match starts with Van Dam hitting a couple of punches, then flatting Mikey with a lifting double underhook facebuster. When Mikey sits up, Van Dam knocks him back down with a spinning heel kick. Back up, RVD irish whips Mikey and catches him with a dropkick on the rebound. Another spinning heel kick by RVD, who follows up with a corkscrew leg drop. To the outside we go, and RVD tries to whip Mikey into the guardrail, but Mikey is able stop himself and Russian leg sweep him into the guardrail. Whipwreck follows up with a suicide dive, but Alfonso then interferes, and RVD is able to regain the advantage. Whipwreck is whipped into the guardrail, and like he's done after every single move thus far, Van Dam showboats for the crowd. Mikey gets crotched on the guardrail, and Alfonso holds up a chair in front of Whipwreck so Van Dam can hit a modified Van Daminator. Back in the ring, Van Dam sets up a chair and monkeyflips Whipwreck spine first onto the chair. Five-Star Frog Splash from Van Dam, but he doesn't attempt a cover and Whipwreck gets back up. Van Dam kicks out quickly after a Sunset Flip, and Whipwreck tries to attempt a Victory Roll, but Van Dam drops him and uses Sabu's camel clutch. Mikey gets crotched on the top rope, and Van Dam uses a standing heel kick to send Whipwreck flying to the outside. Van Dam an Alfonso take forever to find a table, and eventually set one up between the apron and the guardrail, in the exact same spot where Sabu set up a table earlier tonight. Van Dam then crotches Mikey on the guardrail, and nearly clips the table as he corkscrew leg drops Whipwreck. Back in the ring, Van Dam goes for another monkeyflip, but Whipwreck counters with a bulldog onto the chair, and nearly gets a three count after a sunset flip. Whipwreck then uses the chair to his advantage, by drop toe-holding Van Dam face first into the chair, then driving his head into it with a legdrop. Mikey goes to the apron, but Alfonso grabs his leg, and this allows Van Dam to hit the Vandaminator. Alfonso sets up Mikey on the table while Rob Van Dam tries to mimic Sabu with a triple jump dive, but here comes Sabu, and he stops RVD to elbow drop Whipwreck through the table himself. Van Dam is not happy, so he springboards off the chair to hit Sabu with a kick. The two fight it out until Candido comes out, and the two double team RVD because they are teaming up together in a future match against RVD and Lance Storm. Sabu hits Air Sabu off Candido's back, and Candido power bombs RVD before Lance Storm comes out, The four fight it out until the locker room empties to separate the men, making this match a no contest. Just as well, because it was just one RVD spot after another without any cohesion and there was too much time in the match where nothing happened. Plus, RVD was just terrible at selling back then. I'll give it a 1 out of 5.

Up next we have Bam Bam Bigelow coming out for the second time tonight, this time to face Axl Rotten, who comes out wearing an Insane Clown Posse shirt. Bigelow starts the match by attacking Axl from behind, and is all over Rotten as he backs him against the corner. Bigelow charges into the corner and hits one avalanche, but Axl moves after a second attempt and grabs his chair. Rotten hits Bigelow in the back three times with the chair, and the third one sends Bigelow down. Axl charges at Bigelow and tries to hit him in the head, but Bigelow moves, and then scoops up a stunned Axl to deliver the Greetings from Ashbury Park. That gives Bigelow the victory. Well, that was quick. 1.1 out of 5.

The Dudley Boys (Bubba Ray, D-Von, Big Dick) come out to the ring with Joel Gertner and Sign Guy Dudley and grab the mic. D'Von starts by telling the crowd to 'shut the f up', and promises to mess up anyone in the crowd who says anything, which does not silence the crowd to say the least. Bubba Ray takes the mic, and from there the crowd only gets more riled up, as they nearly entice an overweight man to jump into the ring. Trash fills the ring, and some idiot even throws a chair, yet Bubba and D'Von continue to egg the fans on. Some kid threatens to jump from the balcony, so the Dudleys try to goad him into it some more before the kid elects to simply moon the Dudleys instead. Joel Gertner is handed the mic and goes through his usual introduction, but in the middle of it, the kid jumps from the balcony, and eventually jumps the guardrail before security gets in there to keep him from the ring. Good thing, because the kid was about as big as one of Dick's legs. Anyway, the trash is eventually shuffled off to the side of the ring, and here comes the Dudley's opponents in the main event, Tommy Dreamer, the Sandman, and Spike Dudley (w/ Beulah McGillicutty).

Sandman has to get his pre-match smoke and six pack of beer in, so his team's entrance takes about five minutes overall, what with everyone throwing down a few and all. There's a big standoff to begin that takes a few minutes and involves both Bubba and Beulah insulting the other's appearance in between. Finally, Dreamer and D'Von start the match for their respective teams. They tie up, seperate, and stall some more. After some punches by D'Von and a rope-running sequence, Dreamer's sunset flip is blocked by D'Von for a two count, then Dreamer rolls back D'Von for a two count of his own. Back up, Bubba Ray and Spike are tagged in for their teams. Spike charges Bubba twice but is shoved down, then gets caught, picked up, and slammed down to the mat with the Bubba Bomb. Irish Whip into a backdrop by Bubba Ray, and he continues to pound away on Little Spike. Bubba backs Spike into the corner and charges, but Spike moves and fires away at Bubba with shoulder blocks and punches. Spike climbs on Bubba Ray's shoulders and delivers a huracanrana. Spike comes back with a pair of running flying forearms sandwiching a headscissors takeover, and Bubba has to back away into his corner. Big Dick Dudley is tagged in, so Spike decides to do the smart thing and tag in the Sandman. The match slows to a crawl as the two stare each other down and the Sandman tries to go after the other Dudleys on the apron. After a pair of tie-ups, Sandman goes after Bubba again before locking Big Dick in a side headlock. However, Dick shoves Sandman into the ropes and knocks him down hard with a shoulderblock on the rebound. Sandman flips out of a back suplex and clotheslines Big Dick, who answers with a clothesline of his own to knock down the Sandman. Powerbomb attempt by Big Dick, but the Sandman punches his way out of it and knocks Big Dick flat on his back and gets a two count. Sandman clotheslines Big Dick over the top rope, and oh here go hell come as all six man battle on the outside. Bubba gorilla presses Spike and drops him throat first onto the guardrail. Everybody's fighting everybody now and eventually both Bubba and D'Von get thrown over the guardrail, allowing Spike to dive off the turnbuckle onto Bubba and D'Von in the crowd. Dreamer and Bubba are back in, and Dreamer nearly gets a pinfall after a slingshot splash. Irish whip, Bubba ducks a clothesline and flattens Dreamer with a back suplex. D'Von and Spike come back into the ring, and Spike slips out a body slam and huracanranas D'Von down to the mat. Stratusfaction by Spike gets two. Back up, D'Von reverses a whip into the corner, only to get a boot in the face. Spike leaps to the top and jumps, only to land into a waiting D'Von's arms, who then powerslams Spike down. The two roll out, and now it's Big Dick and Sandman enter the ring. Big Dick climbs the top rope (huh?) but Sandman catches him and ties him in the tree of woe. Bubba Ray and Dreamer come back in, and Dreamer and Sandman proceed to tie him up in the tree of woe in another corner. D'Von and Sign Guy also get tied up in trees of woe, I guess and chairs are planted in front of their faces. Dreamer, Sandman, Spike, and Beulah all baseball slide right into the chairs, knocking the Dudleys out. Gertner comes in to challenge Beulah and do his best Ric Flair impersonation in the process. A tie-up ends when Gertner plants a wet one on Beulah. Bearhug by Gertner, but Beulah gets out of it and low-blows Gertner, following that up with a DDT. Dreamer and Sandman line up to annihilate Gertner, but the Dudleys come to the rescue. Spike leaps from the top, only to get caught by Big Dick. Total Penetration by Big Dick (yes, that's the name of his finisher, which is basically a Baldo Bomb) and the Dudley pile on Spike for the three count. But they're not done yet, as Bubba smacks Sandman with his own cane. New Jack comes out with his trash can of weapons, and each Dudley (save Spike) takes a variety of cookie sheets and trash can lids and other various weapons, including a doll with a wooden stick in the middle of it, to the head, clearing them all out of the ring. Gertner for some unknown reason challenges New Jack, and Sandman grabs him from behind, allowing New Jack to annihilate (actually, he barely hit him) Gertner with a guitar. Post match, Dreamer, Sandman, and the rest stand tall in the ring. Wow did this match take a long time to get going, between the Dudleys nearly causing a riot, the Sandman and his team's rather long entrance, and all the stalling in between. I mean, it's one thing to build suspense, but this was a bit much. The match itself suffered from too much down time, so I'll give it a 1.78 out of 5.

Overall, the show started out well, but the last three matches kind of brought everything down. Still, it wasn't too bad of a show, and there were some definite highlights. So I'd give It Ain't Seinfeld a 4.7 out of 10, as it wasn't the best ECW show, but it wasn't too bad. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any thoughts about this or other posts, or ideas for future posts, than let me know about them either by leaving a comment on the blog or sending me an e-mail at kthec2001@gmail.com.

The Canon Review Presents: Wrestling Botches Volume 1

The idea for this next review comes from Canon Review reader Dickson S., who describes his request as follows:

"Post three separate videos with three of the worst botched wrestling moves that you can find. This can be from any federation and from any time period in wrestling."

So, per his request, I have decided to watch a few matches which contains some bad botches and review them, so enjoy.


Match 1: Sid Vicious vs. Nightstalker, Clash of the Champions 13, November 20, 1990

This match is considered to be the worst in wrestling history, and for good reason. The comedy starts early, as Sid cuts a promo before the match, but the audio is so bad that you can hardly make out what he's saying. His opponent is the Nightstalker, a.k.a. Bryan Clark, Wrath, Adam Bomb, etc. The two have a shoving match to start. Test of strength, Nightstalker tries to break it with a kick to the ribs, but Sid fires back with three of his own that barely grazes his opponent. A shoulderblock is attempted but does nothing, and the two have a staredown before Sid leaps into Nighstalker's arms for a bearhug. Sid breaks it, but Nightstalker puts him back in the bearhug. Finally, Sid gets out and backs Nightstalker into the corner with some toe kicks and punches, but the Stalker fires back with a knee to the ribs. He follows up with a few more knees that are supposed to be to the ribs, but are all over the place. More knees and punches to the gut and back follow, before they seem to run out of ideas and the Nightstaker just holds Sid against the ropes for a few seconds. Here comes Curtis Hughes. Sid disposes of the Nightstalker with a back suplex where Nightstalker lands hard on the mat. Vicious then nails Hughes on the apron while Nightstalker gets right back up from the suplex. Nightstalker gets his AXE and tries to hit Sid with it, but ends up hitting the turnbuckle instead. Hughes enters the ring, the three just stare at each other for a second before Sid kicks Hughes in the gut, picks up the axe and shoves back the Nightstalker with the handle, and then covers the Nightstalker for the three count. Post match, the Nighstalker and Hughes try to attack Sid, and Jim Ross gets in the spirit of things by calling Sid 'Luger'. Eventually, Sid rolls out. The only good thing you can say about this match was that it was short. 0.012 out of 5.



Match 2: Bobby Eaton vs. Glacier, WCW Nitro, January 6, 1997

This is the opening match of the first Nitro of the new year Yep, WCW clearly put their best foot forward with this match. Glacier comes out with his elaborate entrance and shows off his martial arts skills. Tie up, Glacier escapes with a leg sweep that sends Eaton down. The two exchange blows before Glacier gets the advantage with a pair of hiptosses and an armbar. Back up, Eaton whips Glacier to the ropes and tries a leapfrog, but for some reason Glacier decides to somersault right towards Eaton's leg and trips Bobby up. Glacier takes advantage with a japanese arm drag and body slam. He sets Eaton up, and kicks him in the face before Eaton could get his hands up to block it. Cover, Eaton kicks out at one, Glacier continues to hook the leg before Eaton gets him off with an eye gouge. Back up, Glacier finishes off Eaton with a Chyronic kick and gets the victory. These two just had no chemistry, and the match was made worse by the fact that the announcers talked about everything but the action in the ring. 0.64 out of 5.





Match 3: Daniel Puder vs. Kurt Angle, Smackdown, November 4, 2004


This video took place during the Tough Enough competition of 2004, which took place each week on Smackdown. Kurt Angle came out and challenged the Tough Enough competitors to a wrestling challenge. After quickly disposing of one of the competitors, Angle asked if anyone else wanted a piece of him, and Puder volunteered. As Puder steps into the ring, Michael Cole boasts that Puder is a cagefighter from the UFC, which is odd because Puder has as many fights in the UFC as I do. Angle and Puder start grappling for position, and Angle backs Puder up against the corner. As Angle drags him out of the corner, Puder drops to the mat and puts Angle in a keylock. At first, Puder doesn't have it on all the way, but he's able to get a deeper hold on it, and really starts to bend Angle's arm. Before Puder can break Angle's arm, the ref quickly counts to three as Puder was on his back at the time, saving one of the WWE's top starts from getting embarrassed by a rookie. In hindsight, it was probably not the best idea to put those two in a free-for-all type competition, as the consequences could have been worse. Afterwards, Angle spews some nonsense about how none of the Tough Enough wrestlers are tough enough to compete in his ring. At the end of the day, nobody got hurt by it, although both Puder and Angle still talk about the incident to this day, claiming they could kick the other's ass in a shoot fight and other nonsense. I'll give it a 1.5 out of 5, because it was kind of funny seeing Angle get shown up like that.





Match 4: Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu, Ladder Match, ECW August 16, 2006

This match is for a title shot at the ECW Title at Summerslam 2006 against the Big Show. The two trade off holds to start, Sabu whips Van Dam into the corner and tries to springboard off the ropes, but Van Dam is one step ahead, as he springboards off the second turnbuckle to deliver a kick to Sabu's gut. Van Dam goes for a cover IN A LADDER MATCH, then remembers where he is and legdrops Sabu. After a back elbow, Van Dam leaps to the top, but Sabu crotches him. Sabu sets up a chair and leaps on the same corner, but ends up falling groin first on the top rope. Van Dam decides it would be a good idea to leap from the top rope to grab the contract, but it goes about as well as you would expect. Sabu clotheslines Van Dam over the top rope. Sabu goes for a ladder, but RVD cuts him off and the two go back into the ring. Sabu whips Van Dam into the corner, springboards off the second rope and catches Van Dam with a sick tornado DDT. Sabu grabs the ladder and sets it up on the apron, only to take a baseball slide from RVD into the ladder to his face. Van Dam continues his assault with a pescado, catching Sabu and the ladder and driving the ladder back into Sabu's gut.

Back from commercial, RVD has Sabu hanging over the guardrail, and does his trademark twisting leg drop off the apron onto Sabu. Back in, Van Dam grabs the ladder, only for Sabu to dropkick his knee, sending Van Dam face first into the ladder. Sabu follows up with a sick Arabian Facebuster to the back of RVD's skull. Sabu tries to climb up the ladder, but RVD thwarts that attempt by tipping the ladder. Sabu lands on his feet however, and sets Van Dam up for a triple jump moonsault using the ladder. However, Sabu trips while trying to leap off the edge of the ladder, and RVD covers up the mishap by legdropping Sabu. The ladder is now set up in the corner, and RVD whips Sabu against the ladder. He tries to do a monkey flip to Sabu, but Sabu moves and RVD lands on the ladder, only to monkey flip the ladder onto Sabu. Van Dam sets Sabu on the ladder and attempts rolling thunder, but ends up landing back first on the ladder instead. Triple jump moonsault by Sabu connects, although Sabu's knee ends up in RVD's gut. With RVD draped over the downed ladder, Sabu attempts an Arabian face buster, but RVD moves, and Sabu nearly breaks his tailbone. RVD tries to climb the ladder, but Sabu pulls him off and RVD lands face first on the mat. Then Sabu just throws the ladder onto a downed RVD. Van Dam knocks Sabu down, and then hits the Five Star Frog Splash. Sabu rolls out of the ring while Van Dam sets up the ladder. He climbs up, then has to wait a few seconds before the Big Show arrives to interfere. Van Dam leaps onto show, but gets caught, and slammed out of the ring through a table set up at ringside. Big Show calls for the contract to be lowered, and it is. But Sabu leaps from the top and attempts a huracanrana on Show. That doesn't work, but after a few seconds of stumbling around, Sabu is able to reach the lowered contract and win the match. Then he gets powerbombed. Post match, Show destroys everybody. Despite the various botches, this was shaping up to be an exciting match until booking got in the way and Big Show interfered. I'll give it a 2.3 out of 5.



Ecw.16.08.2006 - Rob Van Dam Vs Sabu - Ladder.Match
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