Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Canon Review Presents: Wrestling Botches Volume 1

The idea for this next review comes from Canon Review reader Dickson S., who describes his request as follows:

"Post three separate videos with three of the worst botched wrestling moves that you can find. This can be from any federation and from any time period in wrestling."

So, per his request, I have decided to watch a few matches which contains some bad botches and review them, so enjoy.

Match 1: Sid Vicious vs. Nightstalker, Clash of the Champions 13, November 20, 1990

This match is considered to be the worst in wrestling history, and for good reason. The comedy starts early, as Sid cuts a promo before the match, but the audio is so bad that you can hardly make out what he's saying. His opponent is the Nightstalker, a.k.a. Bryan Clark, Wrath, Adam Bomb, etc. The two have a shoving match to start. Test of strength, Nightstalker tries to break it with a kick to the ribs, but Sid fires back with three of his own that barely grazes his opponent. A shoulderblock is attempted but does nothing, and the two have a staredown before Sid leaps into Nighstalker's arms for a bearhug. Sid breaks it, but Nightstalker puts him back in the bearhug. Finally, Sid gets out and backs Nightstalker into the corner with some toe kicks and punches, but the Stalker fires back with a knee to the ribs. He follows up with a few more knees that are supposed to be to the ribs, but are all over the place. More knees and punches to the gut and back follow, before they seem to run out of ideas and the Nightstaker just holds Sid against the ropes for a few seconds. Here comes Curtis Hughes. Sid disposes of the Nightstalker with a back suplex where Nightstalker lands hard on the mat. Vicious then nails Hughes on the apron while Nightstalker gets right back up from the suplex. Nightstalker gets his AXE and tries to hit Sid with it, but ends up hitting the turnbuckle instead. Hughes enters the ring, the three just stare at each other for a second before Sid kicks Hughes in the gut, picks up the axe and shoves back the Nightstalker with the handle, and then covers the Nightstalker for the three count. Post match, the Nighstalker and Hughes try to attack Sid, and Jim Ross gets in the spirit of things by calling Sid 'Luger'. Eventually, Sid rolls out. The only good thing you can say about this match was that it was short. 0.012 out of 5.

Match 2: Bobby Eaton vs. Glacier, WCW Nitro, January 6, 1997

This is the opening match of the first Nitro of the new year Yep, WCW clearly put their best foot forward with this match. Glacier comes out with his elaborate entrance and shows off his martial arts skills. Tie up, Glacier escapes with a leg sweep that sends Eaton down. The two exchange blows before Glacier gets the advantage with a pair of hiptosses and an armbar. Back up, Eaton whips Glacier to the ropes and tries a leapfrog, but for some reason Glacier decides to somersault right towards Eaton's leg and trips Bobby up. Glacier takes advantage with a japanese arm drag and body slam. He sets Eaton up, and kicks him in the face before Eaton could get his hands up to block it. Cover, Eaton kicks out at one, Glacier continues to hook the leg before Eaton gets him off with an eye gouge. Back up, Glacier finishes off Eaton with a Chyronic kick and gets the victory. These two just had no chemistry, and the match was made worse by the fact that the announcers talked about everything but the action in the ring. 0.64 out of 5.

Match 3: Daniel Puder vs. Kurt Angle, Smackdown, November 4, 2004

This video took place during the Tough Enough competition of 2004, which took place each week on Smackdown. Kurt Angle came out and challenged the Tough Enough competitors to a wrestling challenge. After quickly disposing of one of the competitors, Angle asked if anyone else wanted a piece of him, and Puder volunteered. As Puder steps into the ring, Michael Cole boasts that Puder is a cagefighter from the UFC, which is odd because Puder has as many fights in the UFC as I do. Angle and Puder start grappling for position, and Angle backs Puder up against the corner. As Angle drags him out of the corner, Puder drops to the mat and puts Angle in a keylock. At first, Puder doesn't have it on all the way, but he's able to get a deeper hold on it, and really starts to bend Angle's arm. Before Puder can break Angle's arm, the ref quickly counts to three as Puder was on his back at the time, saving one of the WWE's top starts from getting embarrassed by a rookie. In hindsight, it was probably not the best idea to put those two in a free-for-all type competition, as the consequences could have been worse. Afterwards, Angle spews some nonsense about how none of the Tough Enough wrestlers are tough enough to compete in his ring. At the end of the day, nobody got hurt by it, although both Puder and Angle still talk about the incident to this day, claiming they could kick the other's ass in a shoot fight and other nonsense. I'll give it a 1.5 out of 5, because it was kind of funny seeing Angle get shown up like that.

Match 4: Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu, Ladder Match, ECW August 16, 2006

This match is for a title shot at the ECW Title at Summerslam 2006 against the Big Show. The two trade off holds to start, Sabu whips Van Dam into the corner and tries to springboard off the ropes, but Van Dam is one step ahead, as he springboards off the second turnbuckle to deliver a kick to Sabu's gut. Van Dam goes for a cover IN A LADDER MATCH, then remembers where he is and legdrops Sabu. After a back elbow, Van Dam leaps to the top, but Sabu crotches him. Sabu sets up a chair and leaps on the same corner, but ends up falling groin first on the top rope. Van Dam decides it would be a good idea to leap from the top rope to grab the contract, but it goes about as well as you would expect. Sabu clotheslines Van Dam over the top rope. Sabu goes for a ladder, but RVD cuts him off and the two go back into the ring. Sabu whips Van Dam into the corner, springboards off the second rope and catches Van Dam with a sick tornado DDT. Sabu grabs the ladder and sets it up on the apron, only to take a baseball slide from RVD into the ladder to his face. Van Dam continues his assault with a pescado, catching Sabu and the ladder and driving the ladder back into Sabu's gut.

Back from commercial, RVD has Sabu hanging over the guardrail, and does his trademark twisting leg drop off the apron onto Sabu. Back in, Van Dam grabs the ladder, only for Sabu to dropkick his knee, sending Van Dam face first into the ladder. Sabu follows up with a sick Arabian Facebuster to the back of RVD's skull. Sabu tries to climb up the ladder, but RVD thwarts that attempt by tipping the ladder. Sabu lands on his feet however, and sets Van Dam up for a triple jump moonsault using the ladder. However, Sabu trips while trying to leap off the edge of the ladder, and RVD covers up the mishap by legdropping Sabu. The ladder is now set up in the corner, and RVD whips Sabu against the ladder. He tries to do a monkey flip to Sabu, but Sabu moves and RVD lands on the ladder, only to monkey flip the ladder onto Sabu. Van Dam sets Sabu on the ladder and attempts rolling thunder, but ends up landing back first on the ladder instead. Triple jump moonsault by Sabu connects, although Sabu's knee ends up in RVD's gut. With RVD draped over the downed ladder, Sabu attempts an Arabian face buster, but RVD moves, and Sabu nearly breaks his tailbone. RVD tries to climb the ladder, but Sabu pulls him off and RVD lands face first on the mat. Then Sabu just throws the ladder onto a downed RVD. Van Dam knocks Sabu down, and then hits the Five Star Frog Splash. Sabu rolls out of the ring while Van Dam sets up the ladder. He climbs up, then has to wait a few seconds before the Big Show arrives to interfere. Van Dam leaps onto show, but gets caught, and slammed out of the ring through a table set up at ringside. Big Show calls for the contract to be lowered, and it is. But Sabu leaps from the top and attempts a huracanrana on Show. That doesn't work, but after a few seconds of stumbling around, Sabu is able to reach the lowered contract and win the match. Then he gets powerbombed. Post match, Show destroys everybody. Despite the various botches, this was shaping up to be an exciting match until booking got in the way and Big Show interfered. I'll give it a 2.3 out of 5.

Ecw.16.08.2006 - Rob Van Dam Vs Sabu - Ladder.Match
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Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any comments about this or previous posts, or ideas for future reviews or posts, than share them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at


  1. This was such an array of crappy wrestling I should say. lol

    The Sid match just hurts. The Glacier match just shows how WCW wasted time with matches like that. As for the other matches sometimes I have to turn my head. lol

    RVD and Sabu both probably didn't even know where they were.