Earlier this evening, I watched the 1973movie Bang the Drum Slowly. I didn't plan on it, but it was on Turner Classic Movies, so I figured what the hey. The movie stars Robert DeNiro in one of his first major roles as Bruce Pearson, a baseball catcher that finds out he is dying, and Michael Moriarty as star pitcher Henry Wiggin, Pearson's roommate. The movie also stars Vincent Gardenia, who was nominated for the best Supporting Actor Oscar, playing manager Dutch Schnell. Bang the Drum Slowly was directed by John Hancock, and was based on the novel of the same title by Mark Harris. A few notes from the film:
Warning: Spoilers Ahead:
- Even though DeNiro's character is the one dying, the story focuses mainly on the character of Wiggin, the star pitcher for the New York Mammoths (based on the Yankees). Wiggin is portrayed as a smart man, a man that sells insurance in the offseason and to other ballplayers (back then, major leaguers had second jobs). The story is from Wiggin's point of view, from his tumultuous contract negotiations, to his struggle to keep Pearson's cancer secret, to his fight with DeNiro's girlfriend Kate over his insurance policy payout (Wiggin wants it to go to DeNiro's parents because Kate's a golddigger). Throughout the film, it's obvious Wiggin cares a lot about Pearson, he even puts in a clause in his contract that states if Pearson is sent down to the minors or traded, than Wiggin goes where he goes (that would be illegal these days , according to Major League Baseball, by the way).
- While Wiggin is an intelligent star pitcher (kind of like Orel Hershiser or Greg Maddux), Pearson is thought of as a dumb hick from Georgia, who gets ragged on unmercifully by his teammates. Also, unlike Wiggin, Pearson is far from a star player, as some people wondered if he would be sent down in favor of prospect Piney Woods, a motorcycle-riding, pistol-wielding cowboy. The team as a whole, according to Wiggin, would be a whole lot better if everyone didn't rag on each other, although we hardly get to see any of the ragging except for a few scenes with Pearson.
- DeNiro's a hell of an actor, however, I had a hard time believing he was a power threat, as described by Wiggin, the manager, and a couple of the coaches. DeNiro couldn't have been over 5'10" and was built like a middle infielder, so it would have made more sense if he were a line-drive hitter or something. To his credit, DeNiro didn't have a bad looking swing. Also, since DeNiro is not a southerner, he spent months before the movie in Georgia, in order to get the accent right. I must say he did pretty well on that front.
- The movie is obviously a sad one, as you learn at the beginning that Pearson's going to die. However, the movie is rather subtle in its telling of the story. With one exception (a locker room scene in which an unaware Piney plays a country song about the death of a cowboy), there aren't a whole lot of tear-jerking scenes. If this movie was made today, there would be ten different scenes where the two leads were crying, and the movie would be full of over-dramatic, sappy music. Come to think of it, the whole movie wouldn't work today, as Wiggin wouldn't have had an insurance job and Hodgkin's disease is more curable today.
- There's a subplot in which Dutch, the manager, tries to figure out why Wiggin and Pearson did in the off season (they went to Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, then visited Pearson's folks in Georgia after Pearson's diagnosis). It took the team four whole months before a private investigator finally figured out what happened. I don't think Dutch and his staff were the sharpest knives in the drawer.
- The baseball scenes are intercut with scenes from actual major league games. In one scene, they show Tony Perez from the 1970 World Series, and Yankees such as Thurman Munson were shown (it's rather convenient that Pearson wore Munson's number 15). There aren't a whole lot of baseball scenes in the movie, as it's a story more about life. The majority of the scenes take place towards the end in Pearson's last game, where the Mammoths clinch the division against the Pittsburgh Pirates.
Overall, the movie is pretty good, DeNiro is very good in a role which is much different than the types of roles he would later master, while Moriarty adds a sense of credibility to the role of Henry Wiggin. I do wonder why the movie didn't focus more on Pearson, as there were some points where he was just an afterthought. The movie is made decently enough, the plot is very good. But it just seems to be missing something, it seems as if the movie could have expanded some scenes (particularly the scene at the beginning where DeNiro is burning his old newspaper clippings). I think the movie may have moved too fast, may have been too compact for its own good. However, with that said, the movie is still very good, if not great. I'd give it a 6.82 out of 10.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Canon Movie Review: The Last Dragon
Recently, due to the amount of views this blog has gotten, I made my first cent from The Canon Review. That is one more cent than I expected to make from this enterprise, so I would like to thank all of you that are reading the wackiness that is The Canon Review. But I won't stop due to a piddly financial gain, oh no dear reader, because The Canon Review is a labor of love, and sometimes pain, and sometimes confusion, but mainly love. So don't worry, because we have plenty of things to review and topics to contemplate on and plenty of time to do so.
Today at The Canon Review, I have decided to watch the 1985 classic, The Last Dragon. Produced by Motown kingpin Berry Gordy, the film stars black belt Taniak as the lead character, "Bruce" Leeroy Green. The movie also stars Vanity as Leeroy's love interest, a music video host named Laura Charles, and Julius Carry as Leeroy's nemesis, Sho'Nuff, the Shogun of Harlem. The rest of the cast is filled with character actors and people you've probably never heard of, except for William H. Macy and Chazz Palminteri, who make very brief appearances in the film. A few notes on this movie:
Warning: Spoilers Ahead
- The lead character's a big dork. Yes, he's super bad-ass and all with his knowledge of martial arts, but the guy's so into asian culture that he walks around Harlem in a Kung Lao style hat and a robe. When the guy goes to the movies (in this case a Bruce Lee movie), he actually eats his popcorn with chopsticks. His own younger brother stays away from him, preferring to dance to crappy music and stalk Laura Charles. Then again, Leeroy's brother is the most annoying character in the movie. Just a wannabe playa at 13 who dances poorly and hangs around with a kid that looked a lot like the Chunk from the Goonies. I was glad when that kid got dunked into a bowl of pasta by Sho'Nuff.
- Besides Sho'Nuff, the other nemesis is a man by the name of Eddie Arcadian, the master of arcades or something who's trying to break into the music business using his girlfriend. He also has a sidekick called Rocky, who keeps some sort of shark around which we never get to see. Arcadian is your basic greedy scumbag, but at least he's generous enough to pay the background dancers in his music videos in quarters so they can enjoy themselves at the arcade.
- The most hilarious scene in the movie happens at the movie theater. A bunch of people, including Leeroy with his popcorn and chopsticks, are watching a Bruce Lee flick. A few people in the back decide they've had enough, turn on their boombox full blast and start breakdancing right in the middle of the aisle. Well, the crowd doesn't like this, and one man decides to take action, matching the on-screen actions of Bruce Lee by jumping high in the air and delivering a double foot stomp on the boombox, splintering it into a thousand pieces much to the delight of the crowd. Then, Sho'Nuff and his ridiculous looking crew stop the movie, and enter the theater. Here is their entrance:
- Since this is a Motown movie, music plays a big role. After all, Vanity's character is a music video host. The most obvious use of the Motown music is playing the entire video of DeBarge's "Rhythm of the Night". I guess it made sense at the time, but it added nothing to the movie and in hindsight looks kind of silly. They didn't even get DeBarge to perform, they just showed the already made music video as is.
- This movie would be 30 times worse without the presence of Carry as Sho'Nuff, the Shogun of Harlem. Even if his lines aren't particularly well written. The guy is just so over the top in everything he does that you can't help but get sucked in, or at least I couldn't. Whether it's fighting a guy while wearing shoulder pads, beating up movie goers, including biting someone's feet while they were down on the ground, or destroying Leeroy's family's pizza place. Sho'Nuff is the most impactful character this movie has to offer. For a villian with a large posse, Sho'Nuff is honorable in a way, fighting his own battles and turning down any money Arcadian offered him to get at Leeroy just because Sho'Nuff wanted to "designate Leeroy's ass for dismemberment" For some reason, Sho'Nuff believes that if he can beat Leeroy, he will run Harlem, even though it seems as if he already runs Harlem since he stops movies being played so he can make a grand entrance, but I digress.
- Interesting note, at least to me. Taimak, who played the lead character, was trained by Ron Van Cleef, who a few years later would fight Royce Gracie at a UFC event.
- Overall, this was not a movie that would ever contend for an Oscar. However, it is a fun little martial arts movie, with plenty of action. With the exception of Leeroy and Sho'Nuff, the characters are rather one-dimensional, and some of the effects are a little ridicoulous, especially during the final fight scene. But overall, the movie goes along smoothly, with no real errors in production and a plot which may be simple, but at least it is sensible. Overall, I'd give this movie a 6.59252 out of 10.
Today at The Canon Review, I have decided to watch the 1985 classic, The Last Dragon. Produced by Motown kingpin Berry Gordy, the film stars black belt Taniak as the lead character, "Bruce" Leeroy Green. The movie also stars Vanity as Leeroy's love interest, a music video host named Laura Charles, and Julius Carry as Leeroy's nemesis, Sho'Nuff, the Shogun of Harlem. The rest of the cast is filled with character actors and people you've probably never heard of, except for William H. Macy and Chazz Palminteri, who make very brief appearances in the film. A few notes on this movie:
Warning: Spoilers Ahead
- The lead character's a big dork. Yes, he's super bad-ass and all with his knowledge of martial arts, but the guy's so into asian culture that he walks around Harlem in a Kung Lao style hat and a robe. When the guy goes to the movies (in this case a Bruce Lee movie), he actually eats his popcorn with chopsticks. His own younger brother stays away from him, preferring to dance to crappy music and stalk Laura Charles. Then again, Leeroy's brother is the most annoying character in the movie. Just a wannabe playa at 13 who dances poorly and hangs around with a kid that looked a lot like the Chunk from the Goonies. I was glad when that kid got dunked into a bowl of pasta by Sho'Nuff.
- Besides Sho'Nuff, the other nemesis is a man by the name of Eddie Arcadian, the master of arcades or something who's trying to break into the music business using his girlfriend. He also has a sidekick called Rocky, who keeps some sort of shark around which we never get to see. Arcadian is your basic greedy scumbag, but at least he's generous enough to pay the background dancers in his music videos in quarters so they can enjoy themselves at the arcade.
- The most hilarious scene in the movie happens at the movie theater. A bunch of people, including Leeroy with his popcorn and chopsticks, are watching a Bruce Lee flick. A few people in the back decide they've had enough, turn on their boombox full blast and start breakdancing right in the middle of the aisle. Well, the crowd doesn't like this, and one man decides to take action, matching the on-screen actions of Bruce Lee by jumping high in the air and delivering a double foot stomp on the boombox, splintering it into a thousand pieces much to the delight of the crowd. Then, Sho'Nuff and his ridiculous looking crew stop the movie, and enter the theater. Here is their entrance:
- Since this is a Motown movie, music plays a big role. After all, Vanity's character is a music video host. The most obvious use of the Motown music is playing the entire video of DeBarge's "Rhythm of the Night". I guess it made sense at the time, but it added nothing to the movie and in hindsight looks kind of silly. They didn't even get DeBarge to perform, they just showed the already made music video as is.
- This movie would be 30 times worse without the presence of Carry as Sho'Nuff, the Shogun of Harlem. Even if his lines aren't particularly well written. The guy is just so over the top in everything he does that you can't help but get sucked in, or at least I couldn't. Whether it's fighting a guy while wearing shoulder pads, beating up movie goers, including biting someone's feet while they were down on the ground, or destroying Leeroy's family's pizza place. Sho'Nuff is the most impactful character this movie has to offer. For a villian with a large posse, Sho'Nuff is honorable in a way, fighting his own battles and turning down any money Arcadian offered him to get at Leeroy just because Sho'Nuff wanted to "designate Leeroy's ass for dismemberment" For some reason, Sho'Nuff believes that if he can beat Leeroy, he will run Harlem, even though it seems as if he already runs Harlem since he stops movies being played so he can make a grand entrance, but I digress.
- Interesting note, at least to me. Taimak, who played the lead character, was trained by Ron Van Cleef, who a few years later would fight Royce Gracie at a UFC event.
- Overall, this was not a movie that would ever contend for an Oscar. However, it is a fun little martial arts movie, with plenty of action. With the exception of Leeroy and Sho'Nuff, the characters are rather one-dimensional, and some of the effects are a little ridicoulous, especially during the final fight scene. But overall, the movie goes along smoothly, with no real errors in production and a plot which may be simple, but at least it is sensible. Overall, I'd give this movie a 6.59252 out of 10.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Canon Book Review: The Bad Guys Won!
Recently, I re-read Jeff Pearlman's book, "The Bad Guys Won". It is the story of the 1986 World Champion New York Mets. The Mets of 1986 were not only a great team, they were a team that partied hard, got into more than a few scuffles, and generally pissed off everyone else in the league. Pearlman, a former writer for Sports Illustrated who has written three books since "The Bad Guys Won", conducted over 175 interviews with Mets players, coaches, front office executives, bat boys, clubhouse attendants, and other people involved with the 1986 Mets, as well as some of the Mets opponents from that year. The resulting tale is of a baseball team known as much for their arrogance and post-game parties than for their top-notch performances on the baseball diamond. It is a team that, many Mets admit, was full of jerks, fueled by alcohol, amphetamines, and winning baseball games.
The manager of the Mets that year was Davey Johnson, an intelligent field general who let his players do whatever they wanted as long as they showed up on time.Even if they destroyed airplanes and hotel rooms, had a few beers and had a couple of run-ins with the law, Johnson just wasn't interested in the discipline side of things. Johnson was sure that his team was the best in baseball, predicting not only victory, but domination over the Mets' hopeless foes. Like the Jordan-era Bulls, or the Dallas Cowboys of the 90s, the Mets carried themselves with a certain swagger, with a belief that no matter what you did, it wasn't going to be enough to win.
Pearlman chronicles the season from the beginning to the end, He also includes a section on the building of the team by Mets GM Frank Cashen, an old-school baseball man who couldn't understand why his Mets had to be such jerks. Pearlman also writes in great detail about the Mets' epic playoff battles against the Houston Astros in the NLCS and the Boston Red Sox in the World Series. Pearlman wraps the book up with a chapter about how the Mets quickly self-destructed from a sure dynasty to a flash-in-the-pan champion.
The guy that comes off the worst in this book is star right fielder Darryl Strawberry. There were times where Strawberry was a kind person, but most of the times he was an obnoxious drunk who felt everyone around him should bow down to the great Strawberry. There's one story in the book where a teammate is showing off a pair of shoes he recently got, and Strawberry walks up to him and demands that he gives the shoes to him. For the next three minutes, Strawberry berates his teammate, saying he isn't "fly enough" for those shoes and other crap, before eventually giving up. Strawberry talked crap about a number of teammates, did coke and drank alcohol at all hours off the day, and got into a domestic dispute with his wife before a playoff game. This is not the behavior you would want out of your superstar. A few more notes from the book:
Dwight Gooden, the Mets' other superstar, comes across as a nice enough person. Unfortunately, he, like Strawberry, fell in love with cocaine, and his career would never reach the heights of 1985, a season in which he won the Cy Young award and posted a 1.53 ERA. Dwight, as well as Strawberry, would be suspended multiple times in their career for drug use. I'm guessing that's a major reason why the Mets only won one World Series.
Sid Fernandez, a pretty good starting pitcher for the Mets, is portrayed as the clubhouse idiot, a man convinced that wrestling is real. Fernandez, who made 200,000 dollars in 1986, did not buy a $150,000 house because, according to Davey Johnson, Fernandez couldn't bring himself to live on only $50,000 for the year. Apparently Fernandez was unfamiliar with the concept of a mortgage.
My two favorite players from this book is Lenny Dykstra and Kevin Mitchell. Dykstra would try to hit a home run every time up, say whatever was on his mind, stay out all night long, and gamble large amounts of money in poker games against shady characters in backroom clubs. Mitchell, meanwhile, was a former street gang member who would play anywhere (even shortstop, which, if you've seen Mitchell play before, does not seem like a good decision). He also beat the crap out of Darryl Strawberry during their minor league days, which is good enough for me.
George Foster, the Mets left fielder, was an interesting character. He helped produce a rap song (Get Metsmerized, which is just awful), and would sell knockoff polo shirts to opposing players, even though he made 2 million dollars a season. He was released in August after accusing Johnson of racism after Johnson had the audacity of benching the .227 hitting Foster. Ironically, the Mets proved Foster somewhat correct by trading Mitchell after the 1986 season because he was a "bad influence" on Strawberry and Gooden, even though the only white powder Mitchell used was on his doughnuts.
Overall, this was a very good book. It's easy to read, the stories are plentiful, are Pearlman does a great job of making the reader feel as if they are in the clubhouse. Or getting arrested by overzealous Houston police officers or getting berated by that jackass Strawberry. It's obvious that Pearlman did a lot of research on this book, providing very specific details about events such as Game 6 of the World Series, the 16 inning classic in the NLCS against the Astros, and the filming of the Mets' very own music video. Overall, if you're a baseball fan, I would recommend this book highly, even if you're like me and can't stand the Mets.
Let's finish this review with a music video. Specifically, the 86 Mets' in the "hit" video "Let's Go Mets". According to the book, the producers had a ton of difficulty getting the Mets players to cooperate with anything. Also, the video went $100,000 over budget, and the group Cameo made a cameo in the video. The video is very eighties. Judge for yourself:
The manager of the Mets that year was Davey Johnson, an intelligent field general who let his players do whatever they wanted as long as they showed up on time.Even if they destroyed airplanes and hotel rooms, had a few beers and had a couple of run-ins with the law, Johnson just wasn't interested in the discipline side of things. Johnson was sure that his team was the best in baseball, predicting not only victory, but domination over the Mets' hopeless foes. Like the Jordan-era Bulls, or the Dallas Cowboys of the 90s, the Mets carried themselves with a certain swagger, with a belief that no matter what you did, it wasn't going to be enough to win.
Pearlman chronicles the season from the beginning to the end, He also includes a section on the building of the team by Mets GM Frank Cashen, an old-school baseball man who couldn't understand why his Mets had to be such jerks. Pearlman also writes in great detail about the Mets' epic playoff battles against the Houston Astros in the NLCS and the Boston Red Sox in the World Series. Pearlman wraps the book up with a chapter about how the Mets quickly self-destructed from a sure dynasty to a flash-in-the-pan champion.
The guy that comes off the worst in this book is star right fielder Darryl Strawberry. There were times where Strawberry was a kind person, but most of the times he was an obnoxious drunk who felt everyone around him should bow down to the great Strawberry. There's one story in the book where a teammate is showing off a pair of shoes he recently got, and Strawberry walks up to him and demands that he gives the shoes to him. For the next three minutes, Strawberry berates his teammate, saying he isn't "fly enough" for those shoes and other crap, before eventually giving up. Strawberry talked crap about a number of teammates, did coke and drank alcohol at all hours off the day, and got into a domestic dispute with his wife before a playoff game. This is not the behavior you would want out of your superstar. A few more notes from the book:
Dwight Gooden, the Mets' other superstar, comes across as a nice enough person. Unfortunately, he, like Strawberry, fell in love with cocaine, and his career would never reach the heights of 1985, a season in which he won the Cy Young award and posted a 1.53 ERA. Dwight, as well as Strawberry, would be suspended multiple times in their career for drug use. I'm guessing that's a major reason why the Mets only won one World Series.
Sid Fernandez, a pretty good starting pitcher for the Mets, is portrayed as the clubhouse idiot, a man convinced that wrestling is real. Fernandez, who made 200,000 dollars in 1986, did not buy a $150,000 house because, according to Davey Johnson, Fernandez couldn't bring himself to live on only $50,000 for the year. Apparently Fernandez was unfamiliar with the concept of a mortgage.
My two favorite players from this book is Lenny Dykstra and Kevin Mitchell. Dykstra would try to hit a home run every time up, say whatever was on his mind, stay out all night long, and gamble large amounts of money in poker games against shady characters in backroom clubs. Mitchell, meanwhile, was a former street gang member who would play anywhere (even shortstop, which, if you've seen Mitchell play before, does not seem like a good decision). He also beat the crap out of Darryl Strawberry during their minor league days, which is good enough for me.
George Foster, the Mets left fielder, was an interesting character. He helped produce a rap song (Get Metsmerized, which is just awful), and would sell knockoff polo shirts to opposing players, even though he made 2 million dollars a season. He was released in August after accusing Johnson of racism after Johnson had the audacity of benching the .227 hitting Foster. Ironically, the Mets proved Foster somewhat correct by trading Mitchell after the 1986 season because he was a "bad influence" on Strawberry and Gooden, even though the only white powder Mitchell used was on his doughnuts.
Overall, this was a very good book. It's easy to read, the stories are plentiful, are Pearlman does a great job of making the reader feel as if they are in the clubhouse. Or getting arrested by overzealous Houston police officers or getting berated by that jackass Strawberry. It's obvious that Pearlman did a lot of research on this book, providing very specific details about events such as Game 6 of the World Series, the 16 inning classic in the NLCS against the Astros, and the filming of the Mets' very own music video. Overall, if you're a baseball fan, I would recommend this book highly, even if you're like me and can't stand the Mets.
Let's finish this review with a music video. Specifically, the 86 Mets' in the "hit" video "Let's Go Mets". According to the book, the producers had a ton of difficulty getting the Mets players to cooperate with anything. Also, the video went $100,000 over budget, and the group Cameo made a cameo in the video. The video is very eighties. Judge for yourself:
Saturday, February 13, 2010
The Canon Review's 10 Greatest Baseball Players of All Time
First of all, I'd like to apologize for the lack of recent updates. I've been pretty sick over the past three days, and only now am I well enough to contribute further to the Canon Review. I have a few things coming up which may or may not interest you, so stay tuned.
Anyway, a reader named Dickson S. asked who I thought were the three greatest baseball players. Mr. S felt that Ty Cobb, Ted Williams, and Mickey Mantle were the three best baseball players. Well, instead of only three, I have decided to name the ten best players in baseball history, according to my opinion, because that's how we roll here at The Canon Review. So let's get started, shall we?
Guys that could be top 10, but are not for various reasons
Oscar Charleston and Josh Gibson: These two are considered to be the greatest players in Negro League history. Charleston was often regarded as a black Ty Cobb, only with more power, while Gibson was catcher who many experts said had more power than Babe Ruth. Baseball historian Bill James ranks Charleston as the number 4 player of all time, and Gibson number 9. Ultimately, I just don't think there's enough data out there to rate these two players accurately. It's possible that they are among the 5 or ten greatest ball players of all time, but I just don't know.
Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, and Alex Rodriguez: Bonds probably would be in my top 5, and Clemens and Rodriguez would at least be considered for the top 10. However, due to their use of steroids, I can't give an accurate representation of these players until more information comes out (i.e. just how many players were using steroids during their playing time, and how much of an impact did the steroids actually have). So, they're off the list altogether.
Players that just missed the Top 10:
Mike Schmidt: In 16 years, Schmidt led the National League in home runs eight times, led in Slugging Percentage five times, and in on-base percentage three times. He also won 10 Gold Gloves playing one of the most demanding positions on the field (3rd Base). Ultimately, he just fall short, but not by much.
Greg Maddux: With 4 Cy Young Awards, 18 Gold Gloves, and 17 straight seasons in which he won at least 15 games, Maddux definitely has some great credentials. But I only have one pitcher on the list, and I just couldn't put Maddux, as well as Tom Seaver and Lefty Grove, over the pitcher already on the list.
The Top 10:
10. Lou Gehrig - Gehrig not only has a disease named after him, he's also one of the greatest hitters baseball will ever see. Gehrig finished his career with a .340 batting average, a .447 on base percentage, and a .632 slugging percentage. Gehrig is still 5th in career RBIs with 1,995, even though his career was cut at least 3 or 4 years short due to Lou Gehrig's disease. Yes, he played in an era where a lot of runs scored, but according to Adjusted OPS, a stat which accounts for different era and park factors, Gehrig ranks fourth all-time, behind Barry Bonds, Ted Williams, and Babe Ruth. He also played in 2,130 straight games, and, unlike fellow ironman Cal Ripken, his play never suffered due to overuse.
9. Stan Musial - Musial played in 24 All-Star Games, won three MVPs, led the National League in batting average seven times, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, and hits six times each, and led the NL in doubles eight times. He was an above average defensive player at all three outfield positions and first base, and his 3,630 hits currently rank fourth all-time. In other words, Stan Musial was pretty darn good.
8. Walter Johnson - The only pitcher on this list, Johnson was a dominant force, often for teams that were no threat for postseason play. The all-time leader in shutouts (110). Johnson led the American League in Earned Run Average five times, wins six times, and strikeouts a remarkable 12 times. In an era where strikeouts were much rarer than they are now, Johnson had seven seasons of over 200 strikeouts, and two with over 300 strikeouts. Also, Johnson had exemplary control, twice leading the A.L. in fewest walks per nine innings, and finishing his career averaging just over two walks per 9 innings. If they had a Cy Young Award in Johnson's playing days, he would have won at least five, maybe ten. Hell, they should just call it the Walter Johnson award.
7. Mickey Mantle - Perhaps the greatest power-speed combination in major league history. If he had played in an era with more stolen bases, Mantle could have regularly stolen 50 bases a season. He also could knock the crap out of the ball. A 20 time All-Star, Mantle won 3 MVP Awards, led the AL in home runs four times, in walks five times, and in runs scored six times. His .421 on base percentage ranks 19th All-time, and his Adjusted OPS+ of 172 is sixth in Major League Baseball History. Not to mention his seven World Series titles, and his major league record 18 World Series home runs. Mantle is quite deserving of his spot in the top ten.
6. Honus Wagner - The highest ranked infielder on this list, Wagner was one of the biggest players of his era at 5'11" and 200 lbs, and according to many observers, could have mastered any position, but was put at shortstop because that's where the Pirates needed him most. Wagner was an eight time batting champion, a National League record. He also led the N.L. in on base percentage four times, slugging percentage six times, stolen bases 5 times, and runs batted in five times. He did all of this while playing excellent defense at shortstop, which is considered the most important defensive position other than catcher. Currently, Wagner is third all time in triples (252) and eighth all time in hits (3,415). Yet, for some reason, many have forgotten just how great Wagner was. To be honest, I feel six might be too low for Wagner, but I just can't put him ahead of any of the next five guys, so sixth Wagner stays.
5. Ty Cobb - Say what you want about Cobb, but the man could flat out hit. His .366 average is still the highest of all-time. He led the American League in batting average a record 12 times, led in on base percentage seven times, and in slugging percentage eight times. Not only did he win the Triple Crown in 1909 (.377 BA, 9 Hr, 107 RBI), he also led the league in stolen bases that year with 76. Overall, Cobb led the A.L. in steals six times, and RBIs four times. His career total of 892 stolen bases rank fourth all time, and Cobb is second all time in both hits (4,189) and runs (2,246). Not too bad for the Georgia Peach, but the other guys in front of him hit for more power, and Cobb never won a World Series, so Cobb ranks fifth.
4. Hank Aaron - I originally had Aaron at third, but after looking more into it, I decided to drop him down a spot to number 4. Many people still consider Aaron to be the true Home Run King (officially, he ranks second to Barry Bonds with 755). Aaron is the game's all-time leader in RBIs with 2,297, and is third in hits with 3,731. Aaron was a remarkably consistent player, a 25 time All-Star, and a threat for over twenty years. However, I put him at fourth because he rarely dominated over a single season. He only one one MVP and one World Series (both in 1957). He led the National League in batting twice, home runs and RBIs four times, and in total bases six times. Ultimately, Aaron was great, but there were some that were better.
3. Ted Williams - On one hand, Williams never won a World Series and was reputed to be an enormous prick. On the other hand, the man hit as well as anyone that ever played and being a prick does not effect anyone's rankings. Williams won the AL Triple Crown in 1942 and 1947, was a 19 time All-Star, and was a two-time MVP that would have won at least two more had the writers based the award on merit rather than whether or not they liked the guy. Anyway, Williams, the last guy to hit over .400 in a season (.406 in 1941), led the American League in batting average six times, on base percentage a whopping 12 times, and slugging percentage nine times. Williams led the league in home runs and RBIs four times each, and finished his career with 521 homers and 1839 RBIs. Williams may have been a jerk, but he was a jerk that served his country in both World War II and the Korean War as a fighter pilot, flying 39 combat missions. Those wars took out five years of Williams prime, so it's quite possible he could have finished with over 700 home runs and at least 2,200 RBIs. Williams is still the All time leader in on base percentage (.482) and is second all time in slugging percentage (.634). In other words, Williams could play some ball.
2. Willie Mays - Mays was named to 24 All-Star Games, won 12 Gold Gloves for his play in center field, was a two time MVP, and won 1 World Series. Like Mantle, Mays would have had much more stolen bases in a different era, as it is, he led the National League in stolen bases 4 times. Like Williams, Mays missed two years due to the Korean War, possibly taking away 40 or 50 home runs. Mays also played the majority of his home games at Candlestick Park, which was a severe pitchers park. Mays led the NL in batting average one time, slugging percentage five times, and home runs four times. Currently, Mays is seventh all time in runs scored, (2,062), 3rd in total bases (6,066), 10th in RBIs (1,903), 5th in Extra Base Hits (1,323), and 4th in home runs (660). I decided to put Mays ahead of Williams for two reasons, one, Williams played in a much more favorable park (Fenway Park), and two, Mays was a much better defensive player.
1. Babe Ruth - The only player in major league history to be a dominant pitcher and hitter. Ruth was so far ahead of his peers that, in my opinion, he's the clear choice as the greatest player of all-time. As a pitcher, Ruth was excellent, a 20 game winner in two different seasons, and pitched 29 1/3 straight shutout innings in World Series play. As a hitter, Ruth was transcendent. For example, in 1920, Ruth hit 54 home runs for the New York Yankees, more than any other team in the league. Ruth only led the AL in batting average one time, in 1924. However, Ruth led the AL in on base percentage 10 times, in Slugging Percentage 13 times, in home runs 12 times, and in RBIs six times. To this day, Ruth is third all time in home runs (714), second in on base percentage (.474) and first in slugging (.690) and adjusted OPS+ (209). His .342 batting average is currently 10th all time, and Ruth was a member of seven different championship teams. If Ruth had remained a pitcher, it's very likely he'd be a Hall of Famer. As it is, he only became the most dominant hitter that ever lived.
Well, that took a little longer than I thought. Anyway, if you have any grievances or compliments on my rankings, or any ideas for future reviews, let me know. I'm going to lay down for a while, but, as Arnold Schwarzenegger would say, "Dillion, you son of a bitch!"
Edit: Sorry, meant to put a video up to explain that quote. Here it is:
Anyway, a reader named Dickson S. asked who I thought were the three greatest baseball players. Mr. S felt that Ty Cobb, Ted Williams, and Mickey Mantle were the three best baseball players. Well, instead of only three, I have decided to name the ten best players in baseball history, according to my opinion, because that's how we roll here at The Canon Review. So let's get started, shall we?
Guys that could be top 10, but are not for various reasons
Oscar Charleston and Josh Gibson: These two are considered to be the greatest players in Negro League history. Charleston was often regarded as a black Ty Cobb, only with more power, while Gibson was catcher who many experts said had more power than Babe Ruth. Baseball historian Bill James ranks Charleston as the number 4 player of all time, and Gibson number 9. Ultimately, I just don't think there's enough data out there to rate these two players accurately. It's possible that they are among the 5 or ten greatest ball players of all time, but I just don't know.
Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, and Alex Rodriguez: Bonds probably would be in my top 5, and Clemens and Rodriguez would at least be considered for the top 10. However, due to their use of steroids, I can't give an accurate representation of these players until more information comes out (i.e. just how many players were using steroids during their playing time, and how much of an impact did the steroids actually have). So, they're off the list altogether.
Players that just missed the Top 10:
Mike Schmidt: In 16 years, Schmidt led the National League in home runs eight times, led in Slugging Percentage five times, and in on-base percentage three times. He also won 10 Gold Gloves playing one of the most demanding positions on the field (3rd Base). Ultimately, he just fall short, but not by much.
Greg Maddux: With 4 Cy Young Awards, 18 Gold Gloves, and 17 straight seasons in which he won at least 15 games, Maddux definitely has some great credentials. But I only have one pitcher on the list, and I just couldn't put Maddux, as well as Tom Seaver and Lefty Grove, over the pitcher already on the list.
The Top 10:
10. Lou Gehrig - Gehrig not only has a disease named after him, he's also one of the greatest hitters baseball will ever see. Gehrig finished his career with a .340 batting average, a .447 on base percentage, and a .632 slugging percentage. Gehrig is still 5th in career RBIs with 1,995, even though his career was cut at least 3 or 4 years short due to Lou Gehrig's disease. Yes, he played in an era where a lot of runs scored, but according to Adjusted OPS, a stat which accounts for different era and park factors, Gehrig ranks fourth all-time, behind Barry Bonds, Ted Williams, and Babe Ruth. He also played in 2,130 straight games, and, unlike fellow ironman Cal Ripken, his play never suffered due to overuse.
9. Stan Musial - Musial played in 24 All-Star Games, won three MVPs, led the National League in batting average seven times, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, and hits six times each, and led the NL in doubles eight times. He was an above average defensive player at all three outfield positions and first base, and his 3,630 hits currently rank fourth all-time. In other words, Stan Musial was pretty darn good.
8. Walter Johnson - The only pitcher on this list, Johnson was a dominant force, often for teams that were no threat for postseason play. The all-time leader in shutouts (110). Johnson led the American League in Earned Run Average five times, wins six times, and strikeouts a remarkable 12 times. In an era where strikeouts were much rarer than they are now, Johnson had seven seasons of over 200 strikeouts, and two with over 300 strikeouts. Also, Johnson had exemplary control, twice leading the A.L. in fewest walks per nine innings, and finishing his career averaging just over two walks per 9 innings. If they had a Cy Young Award in Johnson's playing days, he would have won at least five, maybe ten. Hell, they should just call it the Walter Johnson award.
7. Mickey Mantle - Perhaps the greatest power-speed combination in major league history. If he had played in an era with more stolen bases, Mantle could have regularly stolen 50 bases a season. He also could knock the crap out of the ball. A 20 time All-Star, Mantle won 3 MVP Awards, led the AL in home runs four times, in walks five times, and in runs scored six times. His .421 on base percentage ranks 19th All-time, and his Adjusted OPS+ of 172 is sixth in Major League Baseball History. Not to mention his seven World Series titles, and his major league record 18 World Series home runs. Mantle is quite deserving of his spot in the top ten.
6. Honus Wagner - The highest ranked infielder on this list, Wagner was one of the biggest players of his era at 5'11" and 200 lbs, and according to many observers, could have mastered any position, but was put at shortstop because that's where the Pirates needed him most. Wagner was an eight time batting champion, a National League record. He also led the N.L. in on base percentage four times, slugging percentage six times, stolen bases 5 times, and runs batted in five times. He did all of this while playing excellent defense at shortstop, which is considered the most important defensive position other than catcher. Currently, Wagner is third all time in triples (252) and eighth all time in hits (3,415). Yet, for some reason, many have forgotten just how great Wagner was. To be honest, I feel six might be too low for Wagner, but I just can't put him ahead of any of the next five guys, so sixth Wagner stays.
5. Ty Cobb - Say what you want about Cobb, but the man could flat out hit. His .366 average is still the highest of all-time. He led the American League in batting average a record 12 times, led in on base percentage seven times, and in slugging percentage eight times. Not only did he win the Triple Crown in 1909 (.377 BA, 9 Hr, 107 RBI), he also led the league in stolen bases that year with 76. Overall, Cobb led the A.L. in steals six times, and RBIs four times. His career total of 892 stolen bases rank fourth all time, and Cobb is second all time in both hits (4,189) and runs (2,246). Not too bad for the Georgia Peach, but the other guys in front of him hit for more power, and Cobb never won a World Series, so Cobb ranks fifth.
4. Hank Aaron - I originally had Aaron at third, but after looking more into it, I decided to drop him down a spot to number 4. Many people still consider Aaron to be the true Home Run King (officially, he ranks second to Barry Bonds with 755). Aaron is the game's all-time leader in RBIs with 2,297, and is third in hits with 3,731. Aaron was a remarkably consistent player, a 25 time All-Star, and a threat for over twenty years. However, I put him at fourth because he rarely dominated over a single season. He only one one MVP and one World Series (both in 1957). He led the National League in batting twice, home runs and RBIs four times, and in total bases six times. Ultimately, Aaron was great, but there were some that were better.
3. Ted Williams - On one hand, Williams never won a World Series and was reputed to be an enormous prick. On the other hand, the man hit as well as anyone that ever played and being a prick does not effect anyone's rankings. Williams won the AL Triple Crown in 1942 and 1947, was a 19 time All-Star, and was a two-time MVP that would have won at least two more had the writers based the award on merit rather than whether or not they liked the guy. Anyway, Williams, the last guy to hit over .400 in a season (.406 in 1941), led the American League in batting average six times, on base percentage a whopping 12 times, and slugging percentage nine times. Williams led the league in home runs and RBIs four times each, and finished his career with 521 homers and 1839 RBIs. Williams may have been a jerk, but he was a jerk that served his country in both World War II and the Korean War as a fighter pilot, flying 39 combat missions. Those wars took out five years of Williams prime, so it's quite possible he could have finished with over 700 home runs and at least 2,200 RBIs. Williams is still the All time leader in on base percentage (.482) and is second all time in slugging percentage (.634). In other words, Williams could play some ball.
2. Willie Mays - Mays was named to 24 All-Star Games, won 12 Gold Gloves for his play in center field, was a two time MVP, and won 1 World Series. Like Mantle, Mays would have had much more stolen bases in a different era, as it is, he led the National League in stolen bases 4 times. Like Williams, Mays missed two years due to the Korean War, possibly taking away 40 or 50 home runs. Mays also played the majority of his home games at Candlestick Park, which was a severe pitchers park. Mays led the NL in batting average one time, slugging percentage five times, and home runs four times. Currently, Mays is seventh all time in runs scored, (2,062), 3rd in total bases (6,066), 10th in RBIs (1,903), 5th in Extra Base Hits (1,323), and 4th in home runs (660). I decided to put Mays ahead of Williams for two reasons, one, Williams played in a much more favorable park (Fenway Park), and two, Mays was a much better defensive player.
1. Babe Ruth - The only player in major league history to be a dominant pitcher and hitter. Ruth was so far ahead of his peers that, in my opinion, he's the clear choice as the greatest player of all-time. As a pitcher, Ruth was excellent, a 20 game winner in two different seasons, and pitched 29 1/3 straight shutout innings in World Series play. As a hitter, Ruth was transcendent. For example, in 1920, Ruth hit 54 home runs for the New York Yankees, more than any other team in the league. Ruth only led the AL in batting average one time, in 1924. However, Ruth led the AL in on base percentage 10 times, in Slugging Percentage 13 times, in home runs 12 times, and in RBIs six times. To this day, Ruth is third all time in home runs (714), second in on base percentage (.474) and first in slugging (.690) and adjusted OPS+ (209). His .342 batting average is currently 10th all time, and Ruth was a member of seven different championship teams. If Ruth had remained a pitcher, it's very likely he'd be a Hall of Famer. As it is, he only became the most dominant hitter that ever lived.
Well, that took a little longer than I thought. Anyway, if you have any grievances or compliments on my rankings, or any ideas for future reviews, let me know. I'm going to lay down for a while, but, as Arnold Schwarzenegger would say, "Dillion, you son of a bitch!"
Edit: Sorry, meant to put a video up to explain that quote. Here it is:
Thursday, February 11, 2010
ABC - Always Be Canon reviewing
Yesterday I came down with a bit of a head cold. I had something planned out for yesterday, but I didn't feel good so I've decided to push that back a few days. So, I spent most of the day watching TV, trying to stay hydrated and warm. So, even though I should be in bed, I will share a few thoughts about what I saw yesterday.
- Shepard Smith of Fox News is a moron. I watched his show at 3 yesterday because I didn't feel like changing the channel, and it seemed two hours long. He had about 925 different catchphrases for yesterday's snowstorms throughout the Northeast, and didn't even understand the point of his own's show online poll. The poll asked if Ellen DeGeneres would increase the ratings of American Idol now that she's one of the judges, and most of the people voted no. Shep gets all sorts of indignant at this, saying that those saying no must be haters. Um, just because they think Ellen won't increase the ratings of a show that's already peaked does not mean they necessarily hate her. It's just that just because Ellen is there does not necessarily mean more people will watch the show. Calm down, man.
- Watched Rome is Burning (hosted by Jim Rome). They had Curtis Granderson, new Yankee outfielder on the show. When ask by Rome if Granderson made any changes to improve his hitting against lefties (Granderson batted something like .189 against them last year). Granderson said no, he is not making any dramatic changes. Um, you might want to rethink that approach there, Curtis.
- After watching some Seinfeld and South Park, I then tuned in to American Idol. It's Hollywood Week, and yesterday was group day, where a bunch of people with their egos so built up that they believe they are the next big music star have to cooperate with a group of other similarly minded people. It's always fun for everyone. Some groups do pretty well, although to me, all the favorites grouped up with each other in order to not get dragged down by other people that just aren't as good. Meanwhile, the mid-carders were left to fend for themselves. There were two groups, called Neapolitan and Destiny's Wild (most of the group names sucked by the way), that both did an A Capella version of Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance". The first group (Neapolitan) sang it pretty well, with not too much frills added. Well, Destiny's Wild was all pissy about Neapolitan stealing their cover version of someone else's song, so, to make up for it, they tried to do way too much with it, practically screaming each note. They even had one guy do a backflip. Nevertheless, they all got through, so no harm no foul.
Another group, called Phoenix, which I presume has nothing to do with the indie rock band Phoenix, stunk on ice. They had one person who was there last year, and she got carried to a good group performance, so see thought (and the others probably assumed) that she knew what she was doing. Apparently she didn't as things got so bad that one person quit the show rather than face sure embarrassment. So, with one person down, they did a dog-ass performance of "Carry on Wayward Son" where the girl with previous experience forgot pretty much every word she was supposed to sing. Towards the end, one guy hit a crazy note just before the chorus kicked in. It was impressive that he held that note for so long, but it completely drowned out the rest of the group. Since he made it to the next round, I admire his decision to go into business for himself, because, to be honest, there was no saving this trainwreck. Speaking of trainwreck, a few groups decided to sing Gwen Stefani's "Sweet Escape" which was just an awful choice for two reasons. One, there aren't a whole lot of big meaty vocal notes in this song, as Stefani sorts of stays at the same volume and tone throughout the song, and two, she's singing a mile a minute, so there is a great possibility that someone will mess up the lyrics of this song, especially since they have only 12 hours to learn the song. Needless to say, that's what happened, as a lot of people tended to mumble throughout. Some people made it, but most that chose this song were sent packing.
- The final group of the night named themselves "The Dreamers", because they were going to try to sing "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac. The group had 4 women and a guy named Alex Lambert, who had a rather similar name to a guy that should have won last year's competition, but that's neither here or there. Anywho, the group had two people join after hours of deliberation, and were led by single mom Mary Powers, a girl who seems to fancy herself as some sort of Pat Benetar-Pink hybrid. I actually liked Mary, that is, until tonight, where she was just going nuts on everybody. She was even bossing around the professional vocal coach working with them, demanding that he speed up the tempo, much to the bewilderment of the coach. Then she has the gall to complain that her group was awful compared to another group. They might be if you didn't keep stopping them and barking at them every three minutes. Anyway, they went on stage, Mary kind of fumbled through her words, the next girl did ok, and the third person turned in perhaps the worst performance in the history of group day. She was way off-key, laughing inexplicably through the song, and to top it off, she forgot the lyrics. Mary, the other Lambert, and the girl that followed Mary got through. I don't see Mary making it to the final 24, however. Oh, and there was also a guy named Big Mike whose wife was giving birth to their first child just before he was set to go onstage. He did well enough to get to the next round, so good for him.
-Finally I watched Birdman of Alcatraz, I must warn you that there are SPOILERS in the next few sentences. Ok, OK!
First off, the name is a misnomer, as The Birdman of Alcatraz never actually had birds at Alcatraz. In fact, most of the movie is set at Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary.
- Burt Lancaster plays the Birdman of Alcatraz, Robert Stroud. The movie also stars Karl Malden as warden Harvey Shoemaker, Thelma Ritter as Stroud's mother, Elizabeth, Betty Field as Stella Johnson, and Telly Savalas as fellow inmate Feto Gomez. Lancaster was nominated for an Oscar for best actor, while Ritter and Savalas earned supporting actress and actor nominations, respectively.
- Malden, as Harvey Shoemaker, Stroud's warden for over 35 years at two different prisons, was a real prick throughout the movie. Interestingly enough, his character was actually a combination of two different wardens, so Shoemaker was nothing but a myth.
- Like many Hollywood films, this one takes some liberties with the truth. Not only is Shoemaker a doppelganger, so is Stella Johnson, Stroud's business partner and later wife. In real life, the lady's name was Della Mae Jones.
-Although Stroud was portrayed as a peaceful inmate who was repeatedly wronged by Shoemaker and others due to a personal grudge, there are some reports that Stroud, while intelligent, was a dangerous man who deserved everything he got. Some guards at Alcatraz referred to him as a crazed man, a "wolf" (prison term for aggressive homosexual) who needed to be kept out of the general prison population for a number of reasons. Other accounts said that Stroud wrote literature that would make Geoffrey Leonard blush, talking about sexual and physical assault of young boys. Whether that is all true, or just the fabrications of men upset with Stroud's portrayal of a hero, we will probably never know for sure.
- Stroud was allowed one shower a week, and at one point he had about 75 bird cages full of canaries and other birds. I can't imagine how bad the odor must have been in that cell.
- Overall, this is a very good movie, although how much of it is true and how much of it is typical Hollywood fabrication, I don't know. I'll just say that Lancaster did a hell of a job portraying Stroud over a 50 year time span. Overall, out of 10, I give this movie and 8.6463.
So, there, that's what I did yesterday (and probably today, as I feel just as bad). I have a couple of ideas for reviews, but if anybody else has any ideas, feel free to let me know here at the Canon Review.
- Shepard Smith of Fox News is a moron. I watched his show at 3 yesterday because I didn't feel like changing the channel, and it seemed two hours long. He had about 925 different catchphrases for yesterday's snowstorms throughout the Northeast, and didn't even understand the point of his own's show online poll. The poll asked if Ellen DeGeneres would increase the ratings of American Idol now that she's one of the judges, and most of the people voted no. Shep gets all sorts of indignant at this, saying that those saying no must be haters. Um, just because they think Ellen won't increase the ratings of a show that's already peaked does not mean they necessarily hate her. It's just that just because Ellen is there does not necessarily mean more people will watch the show. Calm down, man.
- Watched Rome is Burning (hosted by Jim Rome). They had Curtis Granderson, new Yankee outfielder on the show. When ask by Rome if Granderson made any changes to improve his hitting against lefties (Granderson batted something like .189 against them last year). Granderson said no, he is not making any dramatic changes. Um, you might want to rethink that approach there, Curtis.
- After watching some Seinfeld and South Park, I then tuned in to American Idol. It's Hollywood Week, and yesterday was group day, where a bunch of people with their egos so built up that they believe they are the next big music star have to cooperate with a group of other similarly minded people. It's always fun for everyone. Some groups do pretty well, although to me, all the favorites grouped up with each other in order to not get dragged down by other people that just aren't as good. Meanwhile, the mid-carders were left to fend for themselves. There were two groups, called Neapolitan and Destiny's Wild (most of the group names sucked by the way), that both did an A Capella version of Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance". The first group (Neapolitan) sang it pretty well, with not too much frills added. Well, Destiny's Wild was all pissy about Neapolitan stealing their cover version of someone else's song, so, to make up for it, they tried to do way too much with it, practically screaming each note. They even had one guy do a backflip. Nevertheless, they all got through, so no harm no foul.
Another group, called Phoenix, which I presume has nothing to do with the indie rock band Phoenix, stunk on ice. They had one person who was there last year, and she got carried to a good group performance, so see thought (and the others probably assumed) that she knew what she was doing. Apparently she didn't as things got so bad that one person quit the show rather than face sure embarrassment. So, with one person down, they did a dog-ass performance of "Carry on Wayward Son" where the girl with previous experience forgot pretty much every word she was supposed to sing. Towards the end, one guy hit a crazy note just before the chorus kicked in. It was impressive that he held that note for so long, but it completely drowned out the rest of the group. Since he made it to the next round, I admire his decision to go into business for himself, because, to be honest, there was no saving this trainwreck. Speaking of trainwreck, a few groups decided to sing Gwen Stefani's "Sweet Escape" which was just an awful choice for two reasons. One, there aren't a whole lot of big meaty vocal notes in this song, as Stefani sorts of stays at the same volume and tone throughout the song, and two, she's singing a mile a minute, so there is a great possibility that someone will mess up the lyrics of this song, especially since they have only 12 hours to learn the song. Needless to say, that's what happened, as a lot of people tended to mumble throughout. Some people made it, but most that chose this song were sent packing.
- The final group of the night named themselves "The Dreamers", because they were going to try to sing "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac. The group had 4 women and a guy named Alex Lambert, who had a rather similar name to a guy that should have won last year's competition, but that's neither here or there. Anywho, the group had two people join after hours of deliberation, and were led by single mom Mary Powers, a girl who seems to fancy herself as some sort of Pat Benetar-Pink hybrid. I actually liked Mary, that is, until tonight, where she was just going nuts on everybody. She was even bossing around the professional vocal coach working with them, demanding that he speed up the tempo, much to the bewilderment of the coach. Then she has the gall to complain that her group was awful compared to another group. They might be if you didn't keep stopping them and barking at them every three minutes. Anyway, they went on stage, Mary kind of fumbled through her words, the next girl did ok, and the third person turned in perhaps the worst performance in the history of group day. She was way off-key, laughing inexplicably through the song, and to top it off, she forgot the lyrics. Mary, the other Lambert, and the girl that followed Mary got through. I don't see Mary making it to the final 24, however. Oh, and there was also a guy named Big Mike whose wife was giving birth to their first child just before he was set to go onstage. He did well enough to get to the next round, so good for him.
-Finally I watched Birdman of Alcatraz, I must warn you that there are SPOILERS in the next few sentences. Ok, OK!
First off, the name is a misnomer, as The Birdman of Alcatraz never actually had birds at Alcatraz. In fact, most of the movie is set at Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary.
- Burt Lancaster plays the Birdman of Alcatraz, Robert Stroud. The movie also stars Karl Malden as warden Harvey Shoemaker, Thelma Ritter as Stroud's mother, Elizabeth, Betty Field as Stella Johnson, and Telly Savalas as fellow inmate Feto Gomez. Lancaster was nominated for an Oscar for best actor, while Ritter and Savalas earned supporting actress and actor nominations, respectively.
- Malden, as Harvey Shoemaker, Stroud's warden for over 35 years at two different prisons, was a real prick throughout the movie. Interestingly enough, his character was actually a combination of two different wardens, so Shoemaker was nothing but a myth.
- Like many Hollywood films, this one takes some liberties with the truth. Not only is Shoemaker a doppelganger, so is Stella Johnson, Stroud's business partner and later wife. In real life, the lady's name was Della Mae Jones.
-Although Stroud was portrayed as a peaceful inmate who was repeatedly wronged by Shoemaker and others due to a personal grudge, there are some reports that Stroud, while intelligent, was a dangerous man who deserved everything he got. Some guards at Alcatraz referred to him as a crazed man, a "wolf" (prison term for aggressive homosexual) who needed to be kept out of the general prison population for a number of reasons. Other accounts said that Stroud wrote literature that would make Geoffrey Leonard blush, talking about sexual and physical assault of young boys. Whether that is all true, or just the fabrications of men upset with Stroud's portrayal of a hero, we will probably never know for sure.
- Stroud was allowed one shower a week, and at one point he had about 75 bird cages full of canaries and other birds. I can't imagine how bad the odor must have been in that cell.
- Overall, this is a very good movie, although how much of it is true and how much of it is typical Hollywood fabrication, I don't know. I'll just say that Lancaster did a hell of a job portraying Stroud over a 50 year time span. Overall, out of 10, I give this movie and 8.6463.
So, there, that's what I did yesterday (and probably today, as I feel just as bad). I have a couple of ideas for reviews, but if anybody else has any ideas, feel free to let me know here at the Canon Review.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Random WCW Matches on a Rainy Tuesday
It's Tuesday, it's raining and it is cold. So, here at The Canon Review, we have decided to celebrate this weather by watching random WCW matches. And away we go:
Match 1: Ric Flair vs. Lizmark Jr.
Well, why not start with a match that makes no sense whatsoever. Ric Flair is a multiple-time World Champion, one of the most famous wrestlers of all time. Lizmark Jr., meanwhile, is a Mexican wrestler brought in with all the other Mexican Wrestlers to have 8 and ten man tag matches so Mike Tenay can pretend to know what he is talking about. So, why not match the two together and see what happens. I'm convinced that whoever was in charge of this show just drew names out of a hat, and this is the result. The match is 90% Flair, but he does let Lizmark hit a back body drop and a couple of dropkicks, which is much more than many other WCW veterans would let him have. A lot of this match is Flair working on the legs of the luchadore, keeping him grounded. Flair uses a leg-grapevine and a half Boston Crab. At one point, Bobby Heenan compared Flair to a top attorney and publicly wondered why there are not more female attorneys, much to the bewilderment of Tony Schiavone. The match ends with Lizmark tapping out to the figure-four leglock, and Flair celebrates his victory. Decent enough match for a random 5 minute squash for Flair, but why they decided to put this match together is anybody's guess.
Match 2: Konnan vs. Tsubasa
Konnan had just joined the nWo, which, according to Mike Tenay, has really cheesed off all of the luchadores in WCW. I wonder what Lizmark Jr. thought. Meanwhile, Tsubasa is from Mexico by way of Japan, whatever that means. Tenay says he is now training in Mexico, so he must be one of the luchadores upset about Konnan's decision or something.The match takes about a minute, as Konnan starts by beating down Tsubasa, then gives him some sort of variation of a fisherman's buster. Konnan puts on his Tequilla Sunrise finisher, which looks rather crappy, and Tsubasa calls it a day. Konnan celebrates, while Tsubasa never wrestles for WCW again. Why WCW would fly in Tsubasa from Mexico for a 1 minute squash on WCW Nitro, I'll never know. Tsubasa went on to wrestle in Japan, mainly for Osaka Pro and other Japanese indy promotions. In case you were wondering, Tsubasa means "wing" in Japanese.
Match 3: Michael Wallstreet vs. Kenny Kendall
This matched sucked. Wallstreet apparently was about to join the nWo at the time, which would have put that organization over the top, for sure. Kendall is a jobber with an awful haircut. Bobby Heenan called it an "instant electric chair" hairstyle, because the only place you should go with that hairstyle is the electric chair. Harsh, but true. The match had a bunch of headlocks and tie ups. Kendall tried a sunset flip, but Wallstreet screwed that up when he just stumbled forward on his face instead of rolling back. Wallstreet controlled much of the action, but Kendall got a few shots in, including the old bash your opponents head ten times into the turnbuckle move. Match ended with the Stock Market Crash, which was basically a Samoan Drop. Wallstreet gets the three, and says into the camera, "not today". I wish I hadn't of watched this match today.
Match 4: Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page
This match took place in 1992, before DDP was a major superstar in wrestling. DDP is dressed like Kevin Nash, with leather pants and a black singlet, while Sting is your WCW Heavyweight Champion. Pretty basic match, some headlocks, punches, and what not. Jim Ross and Bill Watts are on commentary, and they mention the recent death of Buddy Rogers and Sting's upcoming match with Vader at the 1992 Great American Bash (Vader would win the WCW Title from Sting that night, BTW). Match ends with a Stinger Splash and Scorpion Deathlock, and that's all she wrote.
Bonus:
The lesson is, Mike Tenay is an idiot.
Match 1: Ric Flair vs. Lizmark Jr.
Well, why not start with a match that makes no sense whatsoever. Ric Flair is a multiple-time World Champion, one of the most famous wrestlers of all time. Lizmark Jr., meanwhile, is a Mexican wrestler brought in with all the other Mexican Wrestlers to have 8 and ten man tag matches so Mike Tenay can pretend to know what he is talking about. So, why not match the two together and see what happens. I'm convinced that whoever was in charge of this show just drew names out of a hat, and this is the result. The match is 90% Flair, but he does let Lizmark hit a back body drop and a couple of dropkicks, which is much more than many other WCW veterans would let him have. A lot of this match is Flair working on the legs of the luchadore, keeping him grounded. Flair uses a leg-grapevine and a half Boston Crab. At one point, Bobby Heenan compared Flair to a top attorney and publicly wondered why there are not more female attorneys, much to the bewilderment of Tony Schiavone. The match ends with Lizmark tapping out to the figure-four leglock, and Flair celebrates his victory. Decent enough match for a random 5 minute squash for Flair, but why they decided to put this match together is anybody's guess.
Match 2: Konnan vs. Tsubasa
Konnan had just joined the nWo, which, according to Mike Tenay, has really cheesed off all of the luchadores in WCW. I wonder what Lizmark Jr. thought. Meanwhile, Tsubasa is from Mexico by way of Japan, whatever that means. Tenay says he is now training in Mexico, so he must be one of the luchadores upset about Konnan's decision or something.The match takes about a minute, as Konnan starts by beating down Tsubasa, then gives him some sort of variation of a fisherman's buster. Konnan puts on his Tequilla Sunrise finisher, which looks rather crappy, and Tsubasa calls it a day. Konnan celebrates, while Tsubasa never wrestles for WCW again. Why WCW would fly in Tsubasa from Mexico for a 1 minute squash on WCW Nitro, I'll never know. Tsubasa went on to wrestle in Japan, mainly for Osaka Pro and other Japanese indy promotions. In case you were wondering, Tsubasa means "wing" in Japanese.
Match 3: Michael Wallstreet vs. Kenny Kendall
This matched sucked. Wallstreet apparently was about to join the nWo at the time, which would have put that organization over the top, for sure. Kendall is a jobber with an awful haircut. Bobby Heenan called it an "instant electric chair" hairstyle, because the only place you should go with that hairstyle is the electric chair. Harsh, but true. The match had a bunch of headlocks and tie ups. Kendall tried a sunset flip, but Wallstreet screwed that up when he just stumbled forward on his face instead of rolling back. Wallstreet controlled much of the action, but Kendall got a few shots in, including the old bash your opponents head ten times into the turnbuckle move. Match ended with the Stock Market Crash, which was basically a Samoan Drop. Wallstreet gets the three, and says into the camera, "not today". I wish I hadn't of watched this match today.
Match 4: Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page
This match took place in 1992, before DDP was a major superstar in wrestling. DDP is dressed like Kevin Nash, with leather pants and a black singlet, while Sting is your WCW Heavyweight Champion. Pretty basic match, some headlocks, punches, and what not. Jim Ross and Bill Watts are on commentary, and they mention the recent death of Buddy Rogers and Sting's upcoming match with Vader at the 1992 Great American Bash (Vader would win the WCW Title from Sting that night, BTW). Match ends with a Stinger Splash and Scorpion Deathlock, and that's all she wrote.
Bonus:
The lesson is, Mike Tenay is an idiot.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
The Canon Review Super Bowl XLIV preview
It's that time of the year again, where two football teams clash to decide which one is the best in all of civilization. This year, it's the Indianapolis Colts, led by quarterback Peyton Manning, taking on the New Orleans Saints, led by their quarterback, Drew Brees. While every other football prognosticator, both professional and amateur, look at each team's strengths and weaknesses to preview the game and pick a winner, we here at The Canon Review have taken a slightly different approach. We have decided to play video games to pick the winner.
Now, you're probably thinking that that has been done, and it has. The crew at Electronic Arts simulated the game on Madden 10, and the Saints ended up winning 35-31. There are probably many people out there that have fired up their copy of Madden and plugged in these two teams to see what would happen. Well, we will too, but that's not all. See, we need to have a more unique perspective than a simple simulation of Madden 10 would provide, we need another 1 or 2 different sources. So, I decided to play my copy of Madden 05 Collector's Editon for the PS2, and a Tecmo Super Bowl mod featuring rosters from the 1985 season. The matchup will be Colts vs. Saints, and, since it wouldn't be as fun if I just let the CPU battle it out, I took control of the Colts in Madden 05, and the Saints in TSB 85. That way, we can get a truly unique viewpoint of the big game.
First, I played Madden 05. Why Madden 05, you ask? Well, I'm not entirely sure, after all I do have more recent football games, but Madden 05 was as good as any Madden game ever made, and besides, I don't really care for the more recent Maddens (The most recent one I have is Madden 08 for the Xbox360, which is ok, but I think the Madden games on the XBox and PS2 were better, just a personal preference). I did make a few roster changes before the game, trading for players that were on the game already (i.e. Drew Brees went from the Chargers to the Saints, Darren Sharper went from the Packers to the Saints, etc.) but I did not create any of the players that weren't on the game. So you won't be seeing Reggie Bush, Pierre Garcon, Antone Bethea, and many other key players. Instead, I just left the rosters where they were, so in this Super Bowl 44 preview, your MVP may very well be former Saint wide receiver Joe Horn or something like that. I didn't change the rankings of any player on this game, which really hurt the Saints, as key players such as Brees and cornerback Jabari Greer hadn't developed fully yet, so their rankings are much lower than they are in this year's game. Interestingly, the only Colts I had to acquire were kickers Adam Vinateiri and Matt Stover, the rest of the players were either already on the team or not yet in the league. The Colts, even with Manning, are a very young team, so they have a great chance to go to multiple Super Bowls in the next few years until Peyton retires. But I digress, I took control of the Colts, played the Game in Miami, and off we went.
The results were not encouraging for Saints fans, Brees' first pass was an interception by cornerback Nick Harper (now on the Titans). On the next play, Manning fired a bullet pass to Dallas Clark (a current Colt, by the way) in the endzone for a 34-yard touchdown. The Saints scored field goals on their next two drives, but the Colts scored touchdowns on the next two, making the score 21-6. The Saints used the deep ball effectively in the first half, and drove all the way to the 3 yard line. However, in a play that pretty much ended the game, Brees threw an out attended for Joe Horn, but the pass was intercepted by Jason Craft (now out of the NFL) and he returned the pick for 97 yards, giving the Colts a 28-6. I refused to let up throughout the game, and the Colts won going away by a score of 58-23. I even ran up the score in the final minute of the game, as Manning found former All-Pro wide receiver and current Philadelphia street lord Marvin Harrison for a 71 yard touchdown. For the game, Manning went completed 22 passes on 29 attempts, threw for 419 yards and 4 touchdowns. This in spite of an 18 yard loss on a screen pass where running back Edgerrin James (last of the Seahawks) foolishly ran backwards in a futile effort to avoid tacklers (that was dumb on my part). Current Colt WR Reggie Wayne caught 8 passes for 135 yards, Harrison caught 5 for 104 yards, and Dallas Clark caught 3 passes for 54 yards and 2 touchdowns. Manning was named the game MVP. For the Saints, Brees threw for a lot of yards (395), but also threw 3 interceptions and only 1 touchdowns. Neither team could run the ball with any effectiveness, so it became a passing battle, and nine times out of ten, Peyton Manning will win those types of battles.
For any body who ever play football games on the Nintendo, you know that Tecmo Super Bowl is the bees knees. Quite frankly, it is one of the funnest sports games ever made, and even today, is a hoot to play. Thanks to the efforts of websites like knobbe.org, there are many different hacked roms of Tecmo Super Bowl available for download, and a few months ago, I download a pack of 100 or so different versions of the game, all with different rosters and features. I could have played a 2009 mod with the Saints and Colts, but what fun is that. Instead, we went back to 1985, a time when both of these franchises were anything but super.
in 1985, both the Colts and the Saints finished the season 5-11, so this should be a pretty even matchup. As it turned out, my mad skillz and the Colts' lack of offensive balance or talent proved to be a major factor, as the Saints shut out the Colts 33-0. The Colts, for some reason, ran the ball 4 times throughout the game, in spite of the fact that they had the immortal Mike Pagel at quarterback and receivers that no one cares to remember. Due to this, the Saints secondary had a nice day, as all 4 members (Dave Waymer, Johnnie Poe, Terry Hoage, and Frank Wattelett, is anyone is curious) each had an interception. The Saints pass rush was also fierce, racking up half a dozen sacks. Rickey Jackson, who was just elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame this weekend, had two sacks, 1 of which was a safety. The Saints' QBs were not effective, but journeyman halfback Wayne Wilson was, running for 169 yards and three touchdowns on just 8 carries. In the real world, Wilson never rushed for that many yards in a game during his nine year NFL career (his high was 160, which is more than most running backs can say, I suppose). Hall of Fame running back Earl Campbell, who in 1985 was just about finished, ran for 85 yards and 1 touchdowns. The average of the two games so far is Colts 29, Saints 28. It's awfully close heading into the third game.
The third game was not played by myself, instead my brother Ben volunteered his services and simulated the Colts and the Saints on Madden 10 for the PS3. If he hadn't of done that, I would have probably played NFL Quarterback Club for the Genesis or something, so at least Ben has spared me of doing that. Anyway, the results of his simulation was not good for the Saints, as the Colts won the game 27-12. The score was 13-12 at the end of the third quarterback, but virtual Manning quickly erased all doubt, throwing two touchdowns in the 4th quarter to seal the victory. As was the case in Madden 05, Manning was an unstoppable force. completing 25 passes on 31 attempts for 402 yards and three touchdowns. Dallas Clark was Manning's favorite target, catching seven passes for 175 yards and a touchdown. Also, like the game in Madden 05, both teams struggled running the ball, as both teams combined for 60 yards on the ground. Drew Brees did okay for the Saints (256 yards, 1 td, 1 int) but it wasn't nearly enough.
So, averaging the three games, my Super Bowl prediction is that the Colts will win, 28-23, which remarkably enough, sounds reasonable. I was thinking the average would be something silly like the Colts winning 75 to 2, but no, the football video games, whether contemporary or classic, know what they are doing. Or maybe they are totally wrong and the Saints will blow out the Colts. Only time will tell.
Now, you're probably thinking that that has been done, and it has. The crew at Electronic Arts simulated the game on Madden 10, and the Saints ended up winning 35-31. There are probably many people out there that have fired up their copy of Madden and plugged in these two teams to see what would happen. Well, we will too, but that's not all. See, we need to have a more unique perspective than a simple simulation of Madden 10 would provide, we need another 1 or 2 different sources. So, I decided to play my copy of Madden 05 Collector's Editon for the PS2, and a Tecmo Super Bowl mod featuring rosters from the 1985 season. The matchup will be Colts vs. Saints, and, since it wouldn't be as fun if I just let the CPU battle it out, I took control of the Colts in Madden 05, and the Saints in TSB 85. That way, we can get a truly unique viewpoint of the big game.
First, I played Madden 05. Why Madden 05, you ask? Well, I'm not entirely sure, after all I do have more recent football games, but Madden 05 was as good as any Madden game ever made, and besides, I don't really care for the more recent Maddens (The most recent one I have is Madden 08 for the Xbox360, which is ok, but I think the Madden games on the XBox and PS2 were better, just a personal preference). I did make a few roster changes before the game, trading for players that were on the game already (i.e. Drew Brees went from the Chargers to the Saints, Darren Sharper went from the Packers to the Saints, etc.) but I did not create any of the players that weren't on the game. So you won't be seeing Reggie Bush, Pierre Garcon, Antone Bethea, and many other key players. Instead, I just left the rosters where they were, so in this Super Bowl 44 preview, your MVP may very well be former Saint wide receiver Joe Horn or something like that. I didn't change the rankings of any player on this game, which really hurt the Saints, as key players such as Brees and cornerback Jabari Greer hadn't developed fully yet, so their rankings are much lower than they are in this year's game. Interestingly, the only Colts I had to acquire were kickers Adam Vinateiri and Matt Stover, the rest of the players were either already on the team or not yet in the league. The Colts, even with Manning, are a very young team, so they have a great chance to go to multiple Super Bowls in the next few years until Peyton retires. But I digress, I took control of the Colts, played the Game in Miami, and off we went.
The results were not encouraging for Saints fans, Brees' first pass was an interception by cornerback Nick Harper (now on the Titans). On the next play, Manning fired a bullet pass to Dallas Clark (a current Colt, by the way) in the endzone for a 34-yard touchdown. The Saints scored field goals on their next two drives, but the Colts scored touchdowns on the next two, making the score 21-6. The Saints used the deep ball effectively in the first half, and drove all the way to the 3 yard line. However, in a play that pretty much ended the game, Brees threw an out attended for Joe Horn, but the pass was intercepted by Jason Craft (now out of the NFL) and he returned the pick for 97 yards, giving the Colts a 28-6. I refused to let up throughout the game, and the Colts won going away by a score of 58-23. I even ran up the score in the final minute of the game, as Manning found former All-Pro wide receiver and current Philadelphia street lord Marvin Harrison for a 71 yard touchdown. For the game, Manning went completed 22 passes on 29 attempts, threw for 419 yards and 4 touchdowns. This in spite of an 18 yard loss on a screen pass where running back Edgerrin James (last of the Seahawks) foolishly ran backwards in a futile effort to avoid tacklers (that was dumb on my part). Current Colt WR Reggie Wayne caught 8 passes for 135 yards, Harrison caught 5 for 104 yards, and Dallas Clark caught 3 passes for 54 yards and 2 touchdowns. Manning was named the game MVP. For the Saints, Brees threw for a lot of yards (395), but also threw 3 interceptions and only 1 touchdowns. Neither team could run the ball with any effectiveness, so it became a passing battle, and nine times out of ten, Peyton Manning will win those types of battles.
For any body who ever play football games on the Nintendo, you know that Tecmo Super Bowl is the bees knees. Quite frankly, it is one of the funnest sports games ever made, and even today, is a hoot to play. Thanks to the efforts of websites like knobbe.org, there are many different hacked roms of Tecmo Super Bowl available for download, and a few months ago, I download a pack of 100 or so different versions of the game, all with different rosters and features. I could have played a 2009 mod with the Saints and Colts, but what fun is that. Instead, we went back to 1985, a time when both of these franchises were anything but super.
in 1985, both the Colts and the Saints finished the season 5-11, so this should be a pretty even matchup. As it turned out, my mad skillz and the Colts' lack of offensive balance or talent proved to be a major factor, as the Saints shut out the Colts 33-0. The Colts, for some reason, ran the ball 4 times throughout the game, in spite of the fact that they had the immortal Mike Pagel at quarterback and receivers that no one cares to remember. Due to this, the Saints secondary had a nice day, as all 4 members (Dave Waymer, Johnnie Poe, Terry Hoage, and Frank Wattelett, is anyone is curious) each had an interception. The Saints pass rush was also fierce, racking up half a dozen sacks. Rickey Jackson, who was just elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame this weekend, had two sacks, 1 of which was a safety. The Saints' QBs were not effective, but journeyman halfback Wayne Wilson was, running for 169 yards and three touchdowns on just 8 carries. In the real world, Wilson never rushed for that many yards in a game during his nine year NFL career (his high was 160, which is more than most running backs can say, I suppose). Hall of Fame running back Earl Campbell, who in 1985 was just about finished, ran for 85 yards and 1 touchdowns. The average of the two games so far is Colts 29, Saints 28. It's awfully close heading into the third game.
The third game was not played by myself, instead my brother Ben volunteered his services and simulated the Colts and the Saints on Madden 10 for the PS3. If he hadn't of done that, I would have probably played NFL Quarterback Club for the Genesis or something, so at least Ben has spared me of doing that. Anyway, the results of his simulation was not good for the Saints, as the Colts won the game 27-12. The score was 13-12 at the end of the third quarterback, but virtual Manning quickly erased all doubt, throwing two touchdowns in the 4th quarter to seal the victory. As was the case in Madden 05, Manning was an unstoppable force. completing 25 passes on 31 attempts for 402 yards and three touchdowns. Dallas Clark was Manning's favorite target, catching seven passes for 175 yards and a touchdown. Also, like the game in Madden 05, both teams struggled running the ball, as both teams combined for 60 yards on the ground. Drew Brees did okay for the Saints (256 yards, 1 td, 1 int) but it wasn't nearly enough.
So, averaging the three games, my Super Bowl prediction is that the Colts will win, 28-23, which remarkably enough, sounds reasonable. I was thinking the average would be something silly like the Colts winning 75 to 2, but no, the football video games, whether contemporary or classic, know what they are doing. Or maybe they are totally wrong and the Saints will blow out the Colts. Only time will tell.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)