Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Random WCW Matches on a Rainy Tuesday

It's Tuesday, it's raining and it is cold. So, here at The Canon Review, we have decided to celebrate this weather by watching random WCW matches. And away we go:

Match 1: Ric Flair vs. Lizmark Jr.

Well, why not start with a match that makes no sense whatsoever. Ric Flair is a multiple-time World Champion, one of the most famous wrestlers of all time. Lizmark Jr., meanwhile, is a Mexican wrestler brought in with all the other Mexican Wrestlers to have 8 and ten man tag matches so Mike Tenay can pretend to know what he is talking about. So, why not match the two together and see what happens. I'm convinced that whoever was in charge of this show just drew names out of a hat, and this is the result. The match is 90% Flair, but he does let Lizmark hit a back body drop and a couple of dropkicks, which is much more than many other WCW veterans would let him have. A lot of this match is Flair working on the legs of the luchadore, keeping him grounded. Flair uses a leg-grapevine and a half Boston Crab. At one point, Bobby Heenan compared Flair to a top attorney and publicly wondered why there are not more female attorneys, much to the bewilderment of Tony Schiavone. The match ends with Lizmark tapping out to the figure-four leglock, and Flair celebrates his victory. Decent enough match for a random 5 minute squash for Flair, but why they decided to put this match together is anybody's guess.

Match 2: Konnan vs. Tsubasa

Konnan had just joined the nWo, which, according to Mike Tenay, has really cheesed off all of the luchadores in WCW. I wonder what Lizmark Jr. thought. Meanwhile, Tsubasa is from Mexico by way of Japan, whatever that means. Tenay says he is now training in Mexico, so he must be one of the luchadores upset about Konnan's decision or something.The match takes about a minute, as Konnan starts by beating down Tsubasa, then gives him some sort of variation of a fisherman's buster. Konnan puts on his Tequilla Sunrise finisher, which looks rather crappy, and Tsubasa calls it a day. Konnan celebrates, while Tsubasa never wrestles for WCW again. Why WCW would fly in Tsubasa from Mexico for a 1 minute squash on WCW Nitro, I'll never know. Tsubasa went on to wrestle in Japan, mainly for Osaka Pro and other Japanese indy promotions. In case you were wondering, Tsubasa means "wing" in Japanese.

Match 3: Michael Wallstreet vs. Kenny Kendall

This matched sucked. Wallstreet apparently was about to join the nWo at the time, which would have put that organization over the top, for sure. Kendall is a jobber with an awful haircut. Bobby Heenan called it an "instant electric chair" hairstyle, because the only place you should go with that hairstyle is the electric chair. Harsh, but true. The match had a bunch of headlocks and tie ups. Kendall tried a sunset flip, but Wallstreet screwed that up when he just stumbled forward on his face instead of rolling back. Wallstreet controlled much of the action, but Kendall got a few shots in, including the old bash your opponents head ten times into the turnbuckle move. Match ended with the Stock Market Crash, which was basically a Samoan Drop. Wallstreet gets the three, and says into the camera, "not today". I wish I hadn't of watched this match today.

Match 4: Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page

This match took place in 1992, before DDP was a major superstar in wrestling. DDP is dressed like Kevin Nash, with leather pants and a black singlet, while Sting is your WCW Heavyweight Champion. Pretty basic match, some headlocks, punches, and what not. Jim Ross and Bill Watts are on commentary, and they mention the recent death of Buddy Rogers and Sting's upcoming match with Vader at the 1992 Great American Bash (Vader would win the WCW Title from Sting that night, BTW). Match ends with a Stinger Splash and Scorpion Deathlock, and that's all she wrote.


The lesson is, Mike Tenay is an idiot.

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