Canon Video Challenge: Wrestlers and their names

Confusing title, isn't it? Well, let me explain. Today I'm going to do a video challenge where I take a name of a wrestler, search for that wrestler on Google Video, and then take the number of characters in their name and watch whatever number video that is. For example, if I type in Hulk Hogan, I would watch the ninth video down because the name 'Hulk Hogan' has nine characters. Got it? Well, even if you don't, I'm going to get started anyway.

1. Tony Atlas - Tony Atlas in Piper's Pit

Roddy Piper is doing his interview segment, and he runs Tony Atlas down for not having the guts to show up to the pit. But hold on a minute, because here comes Atlas, wearing half of a shirt. In case you are wondering, it's the top half. Piper sits Atlas down, and his bodyguard Bob Orton Jr. comes onto the set. Piper asks if Atlas got his big arms from eating soul food, and Atlas admits that yes, he likes to eat fried chicken and chitlins and pigs feet. Of course, Piper starts to scoff at Atlas's admission, and naturally Tony takes umbrage and starts getting up in Piper's face, which gets the attention of Orton. Piper says something along the lines of 'you're not so tough now, are you Tony?' But Tony gets the last dig in when he asks which of the Piper-Orton duo wears the skirt around the house. Piper gets one last comment in about watermelons or something and we go to break. Well, that was rather politically incorrect. The WWE certainly couldn't get away with that today. I don't know what to rate the segment, but I'll give Atlas's half shirt a .5 out of 5.



2. Jon Moxley - DGUSA.tv - Jon Moxley wins FIP World Heavyweight Title 

Moxley's a wrestler on the indie circuit who has been getting some hype due to his wrestling and his promo skills. I've only seen Moxley once before this, at a Dragon Gate USA PPV. He said something, but the audio was just awful and I couldn't really make out what he was saying, so to be honest, I have no opinion on Moxley either way. This video shows highlights of Moxley winning the FIP (Full Impact Pro) Title. Moxley is shown putting a cross-face chicken wing on some wrestler I don't recognize, than exchanging moves in the title match against Roderick Strong. Afterwards, Moxley delivers a promo about his title win from the backstage area. After calling for some Cervezas, Moxley compares himself to Tiger Woods, "not just because he likes the skanks" but because he's a clutch performer that gets the job done, like Tiger Woods used to be. Moxley compares himself to other former FIP Champions like Daniel "Tie Choker" Bryan, CM Punk, and Homicide, and says that he will have a bigger impact on the sport than all of those other champions, promising to use the belt to "make a scar on the face of the wrestling industry." Moxley says that he will start making his mark with his appearance at Dragon Gate USA's next show on May 7, in Windsor, Ontario. Well, good for him. Moxley promises to take on all comers who don't like the sight of him holding the FIP belt, and that's where the video ends. I must say that compared to other indy wrestlers, Moxley's a rather good promo man, although he's probably done better ones than this. I'll give it a 3.2 out of 5.




3. Shane Douglas - Bill Goldberg vs. Shane Douglas, WCW Nitro, 9/4/00

Hey, this might be interesting. Douglas comes out with Torrie Wilson, and both he and Torrie run down Dallas before Goldberg's music interrupts Shane's sure to be legendary diatribe about how much Dallas sucks. Goldberg is accompanied by WCW's security force on his way to the ring. I never understood why they did that, especially with a guy pushed to be able to beat 10 men at once like Goldberg. Some three minutes after his music hit, Goldberg is in the ring and the match begins. Goldberg dominates at the beginning, putting Douglas in a leg submission hold that forced Douglas to the ropes. To the outside, Goldberg continues his control of the match until Douglas ducks a punch and Goldberg ends up slamming his arm against a ring post. Douglas goes to work on the arm, but all of that effort gets nullified a minute later when Goldberg slams Douglas down from a standing position using only his bad arm. Goldberg hits a short-arm clothesline and sets Douglas up for a spear, which brings out the Natural Born Thrillers. Despite the 6 on 1 odds, Goldberg goes through the NBTs as if they were wet tissue. Douglas gets some brass knuckles, but Goldberg spears Douglas down before the knucks could be used. Jackhammer, and Goldberg wins with ease, overcoming seven on one odds. Well wasn't that special? I'll give it 1 out of 5 just because it was short.


Bill Goldberg vs. Shane Douglas
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4. Bunkhouse Buck - Sting and Dustin Rhodes vs. Bunkhouse Buck and Arn Anderson WCW Main Event 11/6/1994

Anderson and Buck are accompanied by Col. Robert Parker and Meng, making this perhaps the most awesome foursome in the history of wrestling. Sting and Dustin both are wearing ugly jackets, which must be the driving force behind their friendship. Sting's ribs are taped, which might come into play later in the match. Arn and Dustin start, Arn gets a few blows in but Dustin is able to take control of the match with a clothesline off the top rope. Sting and Buck are tagged in, and Sting gorilla presses the 245lb Bunkhouse over his head. Sting and Dustin remain in control with quick tags and high impact blows. At one point Arn tries to go for Sting's ribs, but Sting is able to fend him off with a series of kicks and punches. The commentators keep hyping the upcoming main event of the Clash, which has Sting teaming with Hulk Hogan and Dave Sullivan against Kevin Sullivan, Avalanche, and Earthquake. At one point Tony Schiavone calls it the biggest six man tag match in the history of national Television. That is a bold-faced lie. Back to the match, Dustin remains in control of the match until Buck catches him with a knee to the back. At this point, Arn and Buck keep Dustin isolated in their corner, punishing the youngster with some less than legal tactics. Bunkhose whips Dustin in, but Buck ducks too early and takes a boot in the face from Rhodes, which gives him time to tag in Sting. Sting fires away on both men, sending Arn to the outside. Col. Parker gets on the apron, but that backfires, as Sting whips Buck into Parker, knocking the Colonel onto Meng and Buck for a loop. Sting delivers a cross body block off the top rope, and there's the match. Quick little tag match that was quite enjoyable. I'll give it a 3 out of 5.



Sting & Dustin Rhodes vs. Arn Anderson & Bunkhouse Buck
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Well, I could go on, but I think I'll end it here for now. Perhaps I will do something like this another time. Until then, thanks for reading, and if you have any comments about this or other posts, or ideas for future reviews, than feel free to share them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at kthec2001@gmail.com.