Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The Canon Review Presents: Commercials with Big-Name Actors Before they were Big

Sorry for the long title, but I'm not very good with titles. Today we look at a few commercial of huge stars before they were too big to star in commercials like these. Well, we've all got to start somewhere. Personally, I'm going to start right about now.

Commercial 1: Steve Carell for Brown's Chicken

In this commercial, Steve Carell plays a manager for a Brown's Chicken fast food restaurant. Brown's Chicken is a buisness primarily located in the Chicago area, and honestly, until now, I had never heard of it. Anyway, Carell is putting up the words "Cholesterol Free Cooking" on a sign and is advertising that Brown's has no extra cholesterol in their cooking oil and batter. Well, the wind starts to pick up and the letters in Cholesterol and Cooking blow away, leaving just the word free on the sign. Naturally, that draws a crowd to the location, which Carell seems not too pleased about. I guess it was supposed to be funny, but it just didn't resonate with me. It is interesting that this commercial is at least 15 years old, and Carell looks like he's hardly aged since then. I'll give it a 2 out of 5, as at least the commercial got its point across and wasn't too annoying.

Commercial 2: Adam Sandler for Mastercard

This looks to be from the late 1980s, but I'm not sure exactly what year it was produced. Anyway, Sandler's character is a young man looking to buy his first apartment. When he sees who his neighbor is, Sandler takes the place and asks the lady to dinner. But before he can set up the dinner, Sandler has to furnish his apartment, so he uses his Mastercard to buy all sorts of crap. The commercial ends with the date and a toast to the new apartment. Sandler's hair is a little longer than what you may be used to seeing, but you can definitely tell it's him. Surprisingly, Sandler is rather low-key in this ad, but I don't think the commercial called for someone to yell and sing songs or anything like that. I'll give it a 2 out of 5, as it was a middle of the road ad that neither offended nor entertained.

Commercial 3: Brad Pitt for Pringles

This commercial was made in 1989 and answers the long-time question, does Brad Pitt like Pringles? Apparently he and his cohorts love the chips because they stop their car when they find out they ran out of Pringles. So, instead of driving to the store and getting more, they decide to seek out other people that have Pringles so they can mooch off of them. Luckily in this parallel universe this commercial seems to take place in, Pringles is the preferred food of hot young women in bikinis, and they seem to have lots of cans available. Everyone eats a bunch of Pringles and live happily ever after, at least until Pitt and his cohorts take off with the Pringles and the hot ladies have to seek out other people driving by with cans of Pringles, which they soon find, by the way. And the cycle continues until the end of time, or at least until Pringles comes out with cheddar flavored Pringles. Also, there's an annoying jingle at the end that calls Pringles the fever reliever. I'll have to remember that the next time I get a fever. What a bunch of tripe this is, and for all you Brad Pitt fans out there, he's in the ad for about 6 or 7 seconds, but you can spot him pretty easily. Still, this sucks, so I'll give it a .9 out of 5.

Commercial 4: Jason Alexander for the McDonalds McBLT

I've talked about this before elsewhere, but dang it, I want to talk about it again. This commercial is definitely from the 1980s, as you have a bunch of people singing nonsense and a burger that comes in a big-ass Styrofoam case. We start with Jason Alexander asking some random people if they want a better lettuce and tomato burger instead of all the crap that don't quite make it. He then asks some other people if they want a burger which is hot but the lettuce and tomato stay cool. Well, McDonalds has the answer for you with the McDLT. It's not really different from any other burger, but it comes in a special two bun carrying case, one side has the meat, while the other side has the lettuce and tomato. All you have to do after that is decide when to put the two buns together and enjoy. This is such a monumentous occasion that Alexander and a bunch of the town people decide to break into song to celebrate this wonder of hamburger science. All the while you can almost see poor Mr. Alexander start to lose his hair during the progression of this commercial. Maybe it's me, but it seems as if he had a little less hair at the end than at the beginning. Well, you can see for yourself soon enough. All I know is that this commercial sucks and the McDLT doesn't exist anymore, because nobody wanted to carry their burgers in a briefcase. I'm giving this a 1 out of 5, because now the jingle's stuck in my head.

There are much, much more commercials featuring celebrities before they were famous, but I think it's best that I stop here for now, so thanks for reading. Remember, if you have any thoughts about this or other posts, or ideas for future posts, than you can let me hear about them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at kthec2001@gmail.com.

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