Before I begin this review, I'd first like to plug my good friend Sonny Bone's new website, http://www.axebombermag.com. The website is the result of all of the positive feedback from the digital magazine Axe Bomber Magazine, and instead of waiting three months to release another issue, it has been decided by the powers-that-be that a website would be more prudent. That way, any breaking news on wrestling video games and other related topics will be covered right away. Already, there is a preview of the newly announced Fire Pro wrestling game for the XBox 360 to be released in the near future. So check it out, and be on the lookout for new articles, including some by yours truly, relating to wrestling video games at axebombermag.com.
Now for today's review. Recently I was fortunate to get my hands on an advance copy of Mick Foley's 4th autobiography, Countdown to Lockdown. I'd like to thank my friend Dickson S. for providing me with a copy of the book. See, Dickson works at a TV station, and the station was sent an advance copy of the book a couple of weeks ago. For whatever reason, they gave the book to Dickson, who then proceeded to give me the copy of the book so I could have the rare opportunity of reviewing something on this site before it was released to the public. So thanks again, Dickson, and I hope you enjoy this review of Mick Foley's Countdown to Lockdown, which will be available in stores on October 1st.
As previously mentioned, this is the fourth biography written by wrestler Mick Foley (Have a Nice Day, Foley is Good, and The Hardcore Diaries being the other three). This book is written in a similar style to The Hardcore Diaries in that a large portion of the book is a journal detailing the buildup and events leading up to a big match. In this case, Foley is chronicling the events leading up to his big steel cage match with his old rival Sting at TNA's Lockdown 2009 event in Philadelphia, PA, the home of many a Mick Foley classic match in the past. The book differs from The Hardcore Diaries in that, this time, Foley seems to have complete support from the TNA creative team, as he's able to offer suggestions and basically carry out the angle with Sting the way he sees fit. Because of that, Foley seems to be more upbeat than he was while writing The Hardcore Diaries. However, Foley also struggles with self-doubt over his physical condition and whether or not he can deliver a high quality match with Sting in the main event of a TNA pay-per-view.
In between journal entries, Foley writes about the events that took place between the completion of The Hardcore Diaries and the writing of this book, including Foley's announcing career, which eventually would lead to his departure from WWE due to a series of disagreements with Vince McMahon. Also, Foley details his charity work and his travels to Mexico and Sierra Leone, his family's venture into reality television (which, unfortunately, never aired), and his celebrity encounter with Tori Amos, whose music has been a constant source of inspirtation to Foley. Also, Foley tackles serious subjects such as the large amount of wrestlers dying young and the use of steroids in wrestling and sports.
Throughout the book, Foley writes about the conflicts he had with Vince McMahon and the WWE brass. To his credit, Foley often takes the high road when dealing with the events that led to his resignation with the WWE, choosing not to bury Vince and the WWE. Unlike some other wrestlers, Foley does not use his book as an opportunity to settle scores or bury other people he may of had a problem with. Well, he did kind of go off about his old dog Pom Pom, although in that case I could definitely see why. Like his last books, Foley is not afraid to drop a name or two, which can get annoying at times, but heck if I had met a bunch of famous people I might do the same thing.
Overall, Countdown to Lockdown is not a bad read by any means. Yes, it's not as good as Foley's Have a Nice Day, and to be honest, the book is kind of hard to get into at the beginning, at least to me. But as a whole, the book is an entertaining read that will interest any wrestling fan and will provide readers with laughs as well as something to think about. Overall, I give Countdown to Lockdown a 7.5 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future reviews, or comments about this review, then share them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com
Showing posts with label TNA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TNA. Show all posts
Friday, September 24, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Canon Wrestling Review: TNA Hardcore Justice, August 8, 2010
A mere two weeks ago, TNA decided to drum up interest in their product by putting on a PPV entirely dedicated to the memory of a promotion that died nine years ago, but due to legal purposes, they couldn't exactly advertise the name of said promotion. Yep, I'm talking about Hardcore Justice, which featured the former stars of ECW. Back in the day, I was as big a fan of ECW as anyone else, but I really had no interest in watching this show at all. However, I was talking about it with my brother and Canon Review reader Ben, and he challenged me to watch the show and write up a review on the proceedings. Well, a challenge is a challenge, so without further adieu, here is TNA's Hardcore Justice. Justice for what, exactly? I'm not sure, but nevertheless.
We open with a montage of the ECW stars that will be here tonight, with voiceovers of the wrestlers explaining how important ECW was to them without actually mentioning ECW. Former ECW ring announcer Stephen Deangelis introduces Taz to start off the show. Taz says that over the past few years, there has been some haters of ECW, saying they were only about violence. He goes on to say that 'they' were the little engine that could and they did. Did what, exactly? Well, according to Taz ECW revolutionized the business, and that's a shoot. Taz then tells the haters to kiss his ass or something and the former Human Suplex Machine goes to join his partner Mike Tenay to call tonight's action. Nothing says hardcore wrestling more than Mike Tenay. Up first is a six man tag between the Full Blooded Italians (Tony Marmaluke nee Tony Luke, Guido Maritato, and Tracey Smothers w/ Sal E. Graziano) vs the team of Kid Kash, Simon Diamond, and Johnny Swinger. Unfortunately, the Musketeer does not accompany them to ringside. Sal E. has lost some weight over the years, not a lot, but some, and apparently he gave that weight to Simon Diamond. For some reason, the lights surrounding the ring are dark blue, making it very dark in the arena. The match starts with Guido and Kash exchanging holds, than Swinger and Luke get in and Swinger hits a sick backdrop driver on Luke. Both men tag out, to Smothers and Diamond respectively, and Smothers brawls with Diamond some before a jumping heel kick sends Diamond to the outside. Simon gets the mic and explains that "Simon has a problem". Well, you don't have to tell us twice. Simon blames Kid Kash for their troubles, and then challenges the FBI to a dance-off. Simon and Swinger display some of the worst dancing I have ever seen. Smothers gets on the mic and says that if the FBI can't do better than that than "everybody dies". OK then. The FBI bust some rather interesting dance moves before Simon and Swinger get tired of it and attack them from behind. Simon and Swinger go after Big Sal, but Sal clotheslines both men down to the mat. Everybody starts brawling on the outside, which allows Kid Kash to take everyone out with a suicide dive after the referee conveniently went to his knees so Kash can launch himself off his back. The match continues, and everybody starts to do their signature moves. After a minute or two, everybody gets in the ring to fight it out. Luke goes to the top rope, but Kash and Swinger catch him and set him up for the superplex. Guido and Smothers then come up behind Kash and Swinger and pick them up on their shoulders, resulting in a mega superplex for poor Tony Luke. Simon comes in and hits the Simon Series on Guido, but is clotheslined down by Smothers. Swinger gets back up and hits Smothers with the Skull Crushing Finale, but Luke catches Swinger with a missle dropkick. Kash hits the Moneymaker (double underhook piledriver) on Luke, which impresses both the crowd and the announcers. Guido kicks Kash in the gut, goes to the second rope and hits the Sicilian Slice on Kash. Simon goes to pick Guido up, but Guido goes behind and hits the Kiss of Death (Killswitch, Unprettier, etc) on Simon to get the three count. The match had its moments, but overall wasn't too good. I'll give it a 1.75 out of 5.
The announcers tell us that Jerry Lynn will not be able to wrestle Rob Van Dam in the main event, so instead we get RVD vs. Sabu. Well, that could be good or be a complete trainwreck. We then get some pre-taped comments from Tod Gordon, Gary Wolfe from his car, and the Blue Meanie. Wolfe threatens that we haven't seen the last of the legendary Pitbull #1, and all three express their gratitude to the fans for making this possible. Another video is shown, this time of TNA stars expressing their memories of ECW. AJ Styles talks about the Dremaer-Sandman Singapore Cane match from 1994, while Angelina Love exclaims that she didn't watch much ECW until 2000 because Canada didn't get ECW until then. That was worth it. To the back, where Al Snow tells Head not to mention those three letters or otherwise they'll get sued. Stevie Richards and Nova show up, and Al asks Nova where his scooter is. They're really shooting now. One half of the legendary Phi Delta Slam is there dressed up as the Blue Meanie, and he does a rather convincing impression. For reasons unknown, Lupus shows up, but is told by Nova that he couldn't get him on the card. I just wonder, how many people remember Lupus? Hopefully he got paid.
CW Anderson comes to the ring for the next match, and EVERYBODY HERE COMES 2 COLD SCORPIO!!!. Unfortunately, he does not come out to that theme. Anderson looks nearly the same as he did 10 years ago. The match starts and CW tries to ground Scorpio, but Scorp keeps escaping. Standoff, Scorpio offers his hand for CW to shake, but CW spits at the offer and starts pounding away at his opponent. Scorpio sends CW out of the ring with a dropkick, and then hits a nice looking corkscrew plancha outside the ring. Back inside, Scorpio keeps the advantage until a big-time superkick from CW changes the tide. CW covers, but only gets two. CW then does some Anderson style work on the arm, but Scorpio is able to escape with a superkick out of a hammerlock. The two exchange blows, but CW wins that with a loud right hand. That only gets 2. Some more blows are exchanged until Scorpio whips CW in and hits a somersault kick on Anderson in the corner. Scorpio is on the second rope, and hits a front flip legdrop, but only gets two. Scorpio goes back up and tries a moonsault, but CW gets the knees up. Anderson spinebuster only gets two. After some forearms, Anderson comes off the rope, but eats a superkick for his trouble. Scorpio sets Anderson up, climbs to the top rope and finishes him with a moonsault leg drop. Afterwards, the two end up shaking hands and Scorpio raises CW's arm for a well fought match. Short, but pretty good none the less. I'd say a 3.05 out of 5.
More ECW memories from TNA stars are shown. Madison Rayne says nothing of significance, Matt Morgan talks about attending an ECW show at a bar he was bouncing at, while Ken Anderson says something about ECW bringing a new edge to wrestling. To the back, where Rob Van Dam and Bill Alfonso talk about RVD's decision to wrestle Sabu tonight. Fonzie, as the manager of both men, promises to call it right down the middle. Justin Cre, I mean, P.J. Polaco comes out for the next match to take on Stevie Richards, who is accompanied by Nova and the Blue Tillie. Lupus, meanwhile, is left in the back. If Stevie can have an entourage, why can't the man formerly known as Justin Credible have one? Surely, Jason and Nicole Bass would have shown up if they had only asked. Oh well. The two start off by exchanging blows and chops. They go to the outside, where Polaco suplexes Richards on the mat. Polaco goes back in, only to dive back out with a plancha on Richards. Back in, Polaco has Richards trapped in the corner, and then powerbombs Richards out of the corner to get a two count. Running DDT by Polaco also gets a two count. Richards launches a comeback, which ends when he launches Polaco outside of the ring, with Polaco landing face first on the stairs. Polaco gets back in, and Stevie keeps the advantage with a side slam and a sit-down powerbomb, but only gets a two count. Polaco connects with a superkick, which nearly gets a three-count. Undaunted, Polaco sets up Richards for That's Incredible, and connects. Cover, but Polaco unwisely gets up to jaw with Nova on the ring apron. Polaco then goes to tell Richards his old catchphrase, but Richards reminds Polaco that he can't use that anymore by kicking his head off with the Stevie Kick. That gets the three count. Polaco does not take losing well, and canes Richards a few times before the arena somewhat darkens. When the lights come back on, relatively speaking, The Sandman is in the ring, and he shows Polaco how to use a Singapore Cane, leaving Polaco laying in the ring. Match was decent, but nothing special. I'd give it a 2.2 out of 5.
A video of Francine is shown, who explains that she'd rather spend time with her daughter than show up for this show to be piledriven by Tommy Dreamer again. She thanks the fans and the other ECW wrestlers for supporting her over the years. A screen is shown paying tribute to all of the wrestlers that have since passed that once competed in the Philadelphia-Based extreme promotion. Up next is a Three Way Dance between three wrestlers with a long history between each other, Al Snow, Brother Runt (Spike Dudley) and Rhino. The match starts with a double headlock on Snow and Runt. Rhino sets up Runt for the gore, but Snow trips Rhino up from outside the ring. Back in, Snow hits a backbreaker on Runt. Eventually, Rhino and Snow find their way to the outside of the ring. Runt tries to hit a plancha on both of his opponents, but is caught by Snow and Rhino and thrown back over their heads to the entrance ramp. Snow and Rhino trade some moves back inside the rings, including Al's infamous series of trapping headbutts. Backstage, some TNA wrestlers are watching the action on a monitor. Well good for them. Snow grabs his but missed Runt, allowing Rhino to back suplex Snow down. Double-foot stomp from Runt on Snow. Acid Drop attempted by Runt on Rhino, but Rhino throws him off easily. Rhino charges Runt in the corner, but gets a boot in the face and then a headscissors takedown for his efforts. Runt fires forearms at both of his opponents and tries for a double Acid Drop, but gets thrown outside of the ring instead. Snow inadvertently knocks the ref down, but takes advantage by nailing Rhino with his Head, so to speak. Runt comes back with a chair, and throws it to Snow and dives down on the canvas, leaving Snow with the smoking gun. Not to be outdone, Snow hits the canvas with a chair and goes down to the mat as well, leaving all three men down and the referee confused as to what just happened. The ref gets up and removes the chair, Snow tries to take advantage by using his Head, but he misses. Acid Drop from Runt on Snow gets the three and eliminates Snow. But Rhino is getting up, and gores Runt to the canvas to get the victory. Taz compares Rhino's gore to a Jack Lambert tackle, which kind of shows Taz's age but I appreciate the reference nonetheless. Well, at least this match was short. 1.2 out of 5.
To the back, where Mick Foley takes a break from reading Hulk Hogan's book (seriously) to tell why he's the perfect choice to officiate tonight's Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven match. Meanwhile, some guy named Brutus Magnus talks about ECW some, while Chris Sabin shares his memory of watching the Sabu vs. Terry Funk barbed wire match, which made him a big-time fan of ECW. Sabin also mentions that RVD was his favorite wrestler to the point where he called himself Josh Van Dam while backyard wrestling with his friends. I also did some backyard wrestling back in the day and ripped off an ECW personality to come up with my wrestling name, Jim E. Dangerously. I think my name is better than Josh Van Dam, but that might be because I'm a little biased. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yes, here come Axl Rotten and Balls Ma, I mean, Kahoneys. Kahoneys looks as if he's been on a two year meth bender. In other words, he looks about the same as he did before minus a few pounds. Kahoneys Mahoney says that he and Axl were the most hardcore tag team in wrestling history, and they challenge anyone in the back to take them on. Could this be the return of Da Baldies? No, instead Team 3D comes out with Joel Gertner wearing a hideous faux mink coat. Gertner then proceeds to introduce himself as only he can:
Afterwards, Brother Ray gets on the mic and says these people don't want to see us have a wrestling match, why not have a South Philly street fight? In Orlando, FL. Sure, why not? The match is on, as Brother Devon squares off with Axl while Ray and Kahoneys duke it out. All four men exchange moves and eventually end up brawling in the crowd, where I can't tell what's going on because it's so dark. Back in the ring, and somebody brought a bunch of weapons into the ring. Kahoneys uses a cookie sheet on Ray. He tries a leg drop from the second rope but Ray moves out of the way. Brother Ray uses a teflon skillett to slow Kahoneys down. Axl gets the cookie sheet and slams it into Ray's head. Devon comes back in and he and Axl brawl to the outside. Kahoneys leaves the ring, and comes back with a toy lightsaber. The hell? Devon throws Ray a lightsaber as the crowd chants "Use the Force". The two duel with the lightsabers, and Kahoneys wins by 'stabbing' Brother Ray in the gut. Kahoneys does his trademark series of punches, but before he can cap it off, Bubba grabs the lightsaber and slams Kahoneys in his kahoneys. Axl comes in, and a few moves are exchanged before everybody leaves the ring and comes back with steel chairs. Chair duel takes place, and Axl and Balls actually win one, but can't get the three count. They argue with referee John Finnegan and whip him in the ropes, but Finnegan ducks the double clothesline and attempts a clothesline of his own. That doesn't go well, but Team 3D saves the day by slamming chairs into the heads of Balls and Axl. Team 3D then does the WAZZZUPPP headbutt, which I don't think they ever did in the original ECW, but who cares, and Ray asks Devon to get the tables. Devon fails to do his job properly and comes back with only one table, but luckily Gertner has some lighter fluid, so Team 3D makes do and sets the table on fire. Ray picks Kahoneys up, and the two powerbomb him through the flaming table and get the victory. Afterwards, Ray gets on the mic and proclaims Team 3D the best of all-time, which draws some dissenters with a cartful of weapons in the form of the Gangstas, Mustafa and New Jack. The Gangstas attack Team 3D with a variety of weapons, including a hockey stick, which causes Taz to say that New Jack was a big Clark Gilles fan. I think the number of people watching this that know who Clark Gilles is is probably less than 100. New Jack gets a guitar, Gertner tries to come in and gets blasted with the guitar for his efforts. The two teams face off in a staredown and then they all, HUG? Really? I know this is a tribute show in all, but that was a little much to take. The match was a bad imitation of the old ECW Dudley Boys-Balls and Axl matches, which had a lot more intensity than this. I'll give it a 0.8 out of 5.
A video is shown of Raven talking about his kayfabed relationship with Tommy Dreamer that supposedly goes back some 30 odd years. Raven claims that Dreamer stole his girl and his family, so by golly Raven's going to steal Dreamer's moment at Hardcore Justice and do to him psychically what Dreamer did to him emotionally. More TNA stars give their memories of ECW, as Jesse Neal talks about attending a show in Florida and feeling the energy and the vibe, which was so different than any other wrestling show, especially the UWF. Kazarian talks about getting in the ring with guys like Chris Candido and Jerry Lynn during his training under Killer Kowalski, and how TNA's X-Division was largely based off of the Jerry Lynn-Rob Van Dam series of matches. Another video is shown of the originals talking about Joey Styles' impact on the company. Mick Foley comes out first as the next match begins. Raven comes out and says something to Tommy's wife, the former Beulah McGillicutty, and her daughters. Also, TNA President Dixie Carter just happens to be sitting next to the Dreamers. Dreamer comes out, and Taz mentions that Tommy is wearing the same boots that he wore in his last match against Raven. Will the boots come into play? We will find out.
Foley gives some instructions but Raven doesn't want to hear them as he gives Dreamer a kick to the groin. To the outside, and Raven Russian Leg Sweeps Tommy into the guardrail. Back to the ring, Raven sets up a chair in the corner, but that backfires as Tommy whips him into the chair and sends Raven back outside the ring. Tommy gets a soda and spits it in Raven's face, stealing Carlito's gimmick in the process. Back inside the ring, Tommy sets up two chairs, but that backfires as Raven does his patented drop-toe-hold into the chair on Dreamer, only this time he used two chairs. To the outside, and Dreamer takes a chairshot right to the head in front of his family. Dreamer's busted open, and the kids are taken by a staff member to the back. Back inside, and Raven sets up a chair, but this time it is Dreamer that does the drop-toe-hold instead to chair on Raven. A 'fan' has a sign that says, "Use This, Tommy" and Dreamer does, cracking Raven on the skull. Dreamer rips the tape off to reveal that the sign is actually a DEAD END sign. Now Raven is bleeding from the head. Dreamer gets a ladder and sets it in the corner across the second rope, than catapults Raven throat first into the ladder. Ouch. Dreamer sets Raven up on the top turnbuckle and stands on the ladder, but Raven counters, and crotches Dreamer across one of the ladder in a move that every man watching felt. Raven goes for the Evenflow DDT, but it is countered into a Spicoli Driver, which nearly puts Raven away. Undaunted, Dreamer hangs Raven in the tree of woe, puts the sign over his face, than does a sliding dropkick into the sign. These two are pulling out all the stops tonight. Dreamer goes under the ring for something, and comes up with a string of barbed wire. Dreamer uses the barbed wire and puts Raven in a crossface with the wire over his mouth! Just as Raven is about to give up, Nova and the Blue Tillie come in and take out Mick Foley for a few seconds, than attack Dreamer. Nova hits a Flatliner while Blue Tillie goes for a splash, but misses. Dreamer takes out both men with a DDT-neckbreaker combo. However, he left himself open for Raven, who kicks Dreamer in the gut and Evenflows him down to the mat. Cover, but Dreamer just barely kicked out in time. That leads to Foley and Raven arguing, and Foley finally snaps and punches Raven a few times before pulling out his patented sock and stuffing it down Raven's gullett. Lupus is here! He legdrops Dreamer from the top rope. This does not please Foley, as he wraps the barbed wire around his sock clad hand and delivers a mandiable claw to poor Lupus. That cannot feel good, even if it is somewhat gimmicked. Lupus leaves with blood pouring out of his mouth. Raven finds some handcuffs and uses them to tie Dreamer's hands behind his back. Uh oh, Raven's got a chair. Foley tells him to reconsider, but Raven blasts Dreamer in the back with a chair. That brings out Beulah Dreamer, who tries to convince her one-time beau (at least in the storyline) to show mercy. Raven hugs Beulah, but hits Dreamer with the chair anyway. Raven goes after Mrs. Dreamer with the chair, but thankfully Foley puts the kibosh to that. No good deed goes unpunished, as Mick takes a chair to the back. Raven goes back to stalking Dreamer and Beulah, but Beulah hits a low blow, and Dreamer gets up and somehow DDTs Raven while handcuffed. Cover, but Raven just gets out at three. Raven kicks Dreamer in his bum knee, and then Evenflows him head first into the chair. Foley reluctantly counts three and Raven has defeated Tommy Dreamer once again. This was probably the closest thing to an ECW match this show has had so far. Even though there were some slow points, I actually quite liked this match, so I'll give it a 3.6 out of 5.
To the back where Jeremy Borash and So Cal Val are plugging the website when the Gangstas appear. New Jack informs So Cal Val that "once you go black, you get bad credit" and Mustafa leaves with Val. New Jack then casually informs JB that he is now 'his bitch'. Well, what a charming segment that was. Our last video package of the day shows the originals talking about the impact Paul Heyman had on their careers. Rob Van Dam comes out to his crappy TNA Theme. The fans seem to enjoy it, but personally I prefer this version instead. Bill Alfonso comes out with RVD, but runs to the ramp in order to accompany Sabu to the ring. Wow, he really does call it right down the middle. Sabu is now completely bald, which actually makes him look more menacing than before, but it was a shock to see at first. The match starts with RVD stalling Larry Zbyszko style. The two exchange a hold or two, break it up, then one of the two point either in the air or at themselves. Finally, Alfonso throws a chair in the ring, which Sabu uses to throw in Van Dam's face. Van Dam ends up in the crowd. Sabu sets the chair up and does a triple jump plancha over the guardrail onto Van Dam. Back in the ring, Sabu slows Van Dam down with a half camel-clutch. Sabu whips Van Dam into the corner and sets up the chair, but Van Dam is able to kick the chair into Sabu's legs, stopping his momentum. RVD with a monkey flip into the chair, than he picks up the chair and throws it at Sabu. That gets a two count. RVD whips Sabu into the corner, but Sabu counters with a clothesline. Sabu whips RVD into another corner, they both try to springboard kick each other but end up colliding in mid air. Both men are down, and Alfonso comes in to give Sabu a bottle of water. He also presents Van Dam with a bottle, and the two take a break as the fans chant "Water Break". These TNA fans spent the entire freaking show coming up with stupid chants, to the point where I can still hear them in my head. If somebody came out eating Fig Newtons, those fans would probably chant "FIIIG NEEW-TONS", but I digress.
After the impromptu water break, both men go to opposite sides outside the ring and dig up a table. Van Dam catches up to Sabu and catches him with a kick off the apron. Van Dam sets up Sabu on the guardrail and delivers a corkscrew legdrop from the apron. The carnage continues as Van Dam sets up Sabu on the apron, sets a chair onto Sabu's throat, and hits a slingshot legdrop on the chair. Van Dam goes to the top rope, but Sabu throws a chair into his face, crotching Van Dam. Sabu with a nice huracanrana that sends Van Dam flying onto the chair. Arabian Facebuster gets a two count for Sabu. Sabu goes to make him humble with the Camel Clutch. Sabu attempts a triple-jump moonsault, but Van Dam throws another chair into Sabu's face. Sabu is crotched on the top rope. Alfonso comes in to hold a chair in front of Sabu and RVD kicks it in Sabu's face, which Taz calls the Van Assasinator. Split-Legged moonsault from RVD, but Sabu kicks out. RVD sets up a table, and Sabu once again throws a chair into Van Dam, once in his back and once in his face. Van Dam catches Sabu with a kick, sets up a chair on him, and hits Rolling Thunder, hurting both Sabu and himself in the process. Cover, that gets a two count. Sabu's down in the corner, allowing Van Dam to dropkick a chair into his face for another two count. A series of reversals ends when Sabu delivers a nice springboard off the ropes into a tornado DDT on a chair. Arabian Facebuster from the second rope by Sabu, once again drawing a two count. Sabu sets up RVD on a table, and tries for the top rope Arabian Facebuster again, but Van Dam moves and Sabu goes through the table instead. Five-Star Frog Splash on Sabu, and RVD gets the victory. After the match, Sabu and RVD hug and Sabu lifts' RVD's arm up in the air. All the ECW guys come out with beers, and Dreamer offers his thanks to the fans, to the wrestlers, to Atlas Security and TNA President Dixie Carter, who is brought into the ring by Brother Ray. Dreamer says that this was "one hell of an F'n PPV". Well, I'm glad he liked it at least. As for the match, it took a while to get going, but at least they hit all of their spots. Still, it kind of lacked a certain something. I'll give it a 2.5 out of 5.
Overall, this show wasn't quite as bad as I feared it would be. There were two or three solid matches, mixed in with a couple of matches that I could have done without. This show wasn't as good as the first One Night Stand in 2005, but it wasn't too bad of a show. Even the announcing of Mike Tenay wasn't too annoying, although I wish the fans would stop chanting and actually react to what's happening in the ring. Overall, I'd give it a 5.7 out of 10. Thanks for reading, and if you have any comments about this post or ideas for future posts, than send them this way either by commenting or by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.
We open with a montage of the ECW stars that will be here tonight, with voiceovers of the wrestlers explaining how important ECW was to them without actually mentioning ECW. Former ECW ring announcer Stephen Deangelis introduces Taz to start off the show. Taz says that over the past few years, there has been some haters of ECW, saying they were only about violence. He goes on to say that 'they' were the little engine that could and they did. Did what, exactly? Well, according to Taz ECW revolutionized the business, and that's a shoot. Taz then tells the haters to kiss his ass or something and the former Human Suplex Machine goes to join his partner Mike Tenay to call tonight's action. Nothing says hardcore wrestling more than Mike Tenay. Up first is a six man tag between the Full Blooded Italians (Tony Marmaluke nee Tony Luke, Guido Maritato, and Tracey Smothers w/ Sal E. Graziano) vs the team of Kid Kash, Simon Diamond, and Johnny Swinger. Unfortunately, the Musketeer does not accompany them to ringside. Sal E. has lost some weight over the years, not a lot, but some, and apparently he gave that weight to Simon Diamond. For some reason, the lights surrounding the ring are dark blue, making it very dark in the arena. The match starts with Guido and Kash exchanging holds, than Swinger and Luke get in and Swinger hits a sick backdrop driver on Luke. Both men tag out, to Smothers and Diamond respectively, and Smothers brawls with Diamond some before a jumping heel kick sends Diamond to the outside. Simon gets the mic and explains that "Simon has a problem". Well, you don't have to tell us twice. Simon blames Kid Kash for their troubles, and then challenges the FBI to a dance-off. Simon and Swinger display some of the worst dancing I have ever seen. Smothers gets on the mic and says that if the FBI can't do better than that than "everybody dies". OK then. The FBI bust some rather interesting dance moves before Simon and Swinger get tired of it and attack them from behind. Simon and Swinger go after Big Sal, but Sal clotheslines both men down to the mat. Everybody starts brawling on the outside, which allows Kid Kash to take everyone out with a suicide dive after the referee conveniently went to his knees so Kash can launch himself off his back. The match continues, and everybody starts to do their signature moves. After a minute or two, everybody gets in the ring to fight it out. Luke goes to the top rope, but Kash and Swinger catch him and set him up for the superplex. Guido and Smothers then come up behind Kash and Swinger and pick them up on their shoulders, resulting in a mega superplex for poor Tony Luke. Simon comes in and hits the Simon Series on Guido, but is clotheslined down by Smothers. Swinger gets back up and hits Smothers with the Skull Crushing Finale, but Luke catches Swinger with a missle dropkick. Kash hits the Moneymaker (double underhook piledriver) on Luke, which impresses both the crowd and the announcers. Guido kicks Kash in the gut, goes to the second rope and hits the Sicilian Slice on Kash. Simon goes to pick Guido up, but Guido goes behind and hits the Kiss of Death (Killswitch, Unprettier, etc) on Simon to get the three count. The match had its moments, but overall wasn't too good. I'll give it a 1.75 out of 5.
The announcers tell us that Jerry Lynn will not be able to wrestle Rob Van Dam in the main event, so instead we get RVD vs. Sabu. Well, that could be good or be a complete trainwreck. We then get some pre-taped comments from Tod Gordon, Gary Wolfe from his car, and the Blue Meanie. Wolfe threatens that we haven't seen the last of the legendary Pitbull #1, and all three express their gratitude to the fans for making this possible. Another video is shown, this time of TNA stars expressing their memories of ECW. AJ Styles talks about the Dremaer-Sandman Singapore Cane match from 1994, while Angelina Love exclaims that she didn't watch much ECW until 2000 because Canada didn't get ECW until then. That was worth it. To the back, where Al Snow tells Head not to mention those three letters or otherwise they'll get sued. Stevie Richards and Nova show up, and Al asks Nova where his scooter is. They're really shooting now. One half of the legendary Phi Delta Slam is there dressed up as the Blue Meanie, and he does a rather convincing impression. For reasons unknown, Lupus shows up, but is told by Nova that he couldn't get him on the card. I just wonder, how many people remember Lupus? Hopefully he got paid.
CW Anderson comes to the ring for the next match, and EVERYBODY HERE COMES 2 COLD SCORPIO!!!. Unfortunately, he does not come out to that theme. Anderson looks nearly the same as he did 10 years ago. The match starts and CW tries to ground Scorpio, but Scorp keeps escaping. Standoff, Scorpio offers his hand for CW to shake, but CW spits at the offer and starts pounding away at his opponent. Scorpio sends CW out of the ring with a dropkick, and then hits a nice looking corkscrew plancha outside the ring. Back inside, Scorpio keeps the advantage until a big-time superkick from CW changes the tide. CW covers, but only gets two. CW then does some Anderson style work on the arm, but Scorpio is able to escape with a superkick out of a hammerlock. The two exchange blows, but CW wins that with a loud right hand. That only gets 2. Some more blows are exchanged until Scorpio whips CW in and hits a somersault kick on Anderson in the corner. Scorpio is on the second rope, and hits a front flip legdrop, but only gets two. Scorpio goes back up and tries a moonsault, but CW gets the knees up. Anderson spinebuster only gets two. After some forearms, Anderson comes off the rope, but eats a superkick for his trouble. Scorpio sets Anderson up, climbs to the top rope and finishes him with a moonsault leg drop. Afterwards, the two end up shaking hands and Scorpio raises CW's arm for a well fought match. Short, but pretty good none the less. I'd say a 3.05 out of 5.
More ECW memories from TNA stars are shown. Madison Rayne says nothing of significance, Matt Morgan talks about attending an ECW show at a bar he was bouncing at, while Ken Anderson says something about ECW bringing a new edge to wrestling. To the back, where Rob Van Dam and Bill Alfonso talk about RVD's decision to wrestle Sabu tonight. Fonzie, as the manager of both men, promises to call it right down the middle. Justin Cre, I mean, P.J. Polaco comes out for the next match to take on Stevie Richards, who is accompanied by Nova and the Blue Tillie. Lupus, meanwhile, is left in the back. If Stevie can have an entourage, why can't the man formerly known as Justin Credible have one? Surely, Jason and Nicole Bass would have shown up if they had only asked. Oh well. The two start off by exchanging blows and chops. They go to the outside, where Polaco suplexes Richards on the mat. Polaco goes back in, only to dive back out with a plancha on Richards. Back in, Polaco has Richards trapped in the corner, and then powerbombs Richards out of the corner to get a two count. Running DDT by Polaco also gets a two count. Richards launches a comeback, which ends when he launches Polaco outside of the ring, with Polaco landing face first on the stairs. Polaco gets back in, and Stevie keeps the advantage with a side slam and a sit-down powerbomb, but only gets a two count. Polaco connects with a superkick, which nearly gets a three-count. Undaunted, Polaco sets up Richards for That's Incredible, and connects. Cover, but Polaco unwisely gets up to jaw with Nova on the ring apron. Polaco then goes to tell Richards his old catchphrase, but Richards reminds Polaco that he can't use that anymore by kicking his head off with the Stevie Kick. That gets the three count. Polaco does not take losing well, and canes Richards a few times before the arena somewhat darkens. When the lights come back on, relatively speaking, The Sandman is in the ring, and he shows Polaco how to use a Singapore Cane, leaving Polaco laying in the ring. Match was decent, but nothing special. I'd give it a 2.2 out of 5.
A video of Francine is shown, who explains that she'd rather spend time with her daughter than show up for this show to be piledriven by Tommy Dreamer again. She thanks the fans and the other ECW wrestlers for supporting her over the years. A screen is shown paying tribute to all of the wrestlers that have since passed that once competed in the Philadelphia-Based extreme promotion. Up next is a Three Way Dance between three wrestlers with a long history between each other, Al Snow, Brother Runt (Spike Dudley) and Rhino. The match starts with a double headlock on Snow and Runt. Rhino sets up Runt for the gore, but Snow trips Rhino up from outside the ring. Back in, Snow hits a backbreaker on Runt. Eventually, Rhino and Snow find their way to the outside of the ring. Runt tries to hit a plancha on both of his opponents, but is caught by Snow and Rhino and thrown back over their heads to the entrance ramp. Snow and Rhino trade some moves back inside the rings, including Al's infamous series of trapping headbutts. Backstage, some TNA wrestlers are watching the action on a monitor. Well good for them. Snow grabs his but missed Runt, allowing Rhino to back suplex Snow down. Double-foot stomp from Runt on Snow. Acid Drop attempted by Runt on Rhino, but Rhino throws him off easily. Rhino charges Runt in the corner, but gets a boot in the face and then a headscissors takedown for his efforts. Runt fires forearms at both of his opponents and tries for a double Acid Drop, but gets thrown outside of the ring instead. Snow inadvertently knocks the ref down, but takes advantage by nailing Rhino with his Head, so to speak. Runt comes back with a chair, and throws it to Snow and dives down on the canvas, leaving Snow with the smoking gun. Not to be outdone, Snow hits the canvas with a chair and goes down to the mat as well, leaving all three men down and the referee confused as to what just happened. The ref gets up and removes the chair, Snow tries to take advantage by using his Head, but he misses. Acid Drop from Runt on Snow gets the three and eliminates Snow. But Rhino is getting up, and gores Runt to the canvas to get the victory. Taz compares Rhino's gore to a Jack Lambert tackle, which kind of shows Taz's age but I appreciate the reference nonetheless. Well, at least this match was short. 1.2 out of 5.
To the back, where Mick Foley takes a break from reading Hulk Hogan's book (seriously) to tell why he's the perfect choice to officiate tonight's Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven match. Meanwhile, some guy named Brutus Magnus talks about ECW some, while Chris Sabin shares his memory of watching the Sabu vs. Terry Funk barbed wire match, which made him a big-time fan of ECW. Sabin also mentions that RVD was his favorite wrestler to the point where he called himself Josh Van Dam while backyard wrestling with his friends. I also did some backyard wrestling back in the day and ripped off an ECW personality to come up with my wrestling name, Jim E. Dangerously. I think my name is better than Josh Van Dam, but that might be because I'm a little biased. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yes, here come Axl Rotten and Balls Ma, I mean, Kahoneys. Kahoneys looks as if he's been on a two year meth bender. In other words, he looks about the same as he did before minus a few pounds. Kahoneys Mahoney says that he and Axl were the most hardcore tag team in wrestling history, and they challenge anyone in the back to take them on. Could this be the return of Da Baldies? No, instead Team 3D comes out with Joel Gertner wearing a hideous faux mink coat. Gertner then proceeds to introduce himself as only he can:
Afterwards, Brother Ray gets on the mic and says these people don't want to see us have a wrestling match, why not have a South Philly street fight? In Orlando, FL. Sure, why not? The match is on, as Brother Devon squares off with Axl while Ray and Kahoneys duke it out. All four men exchange moves and eventually end up brawling in the crowd, where I can't tell what's going on because it's so dark. Back in the ring, and somebody brought a bunch of weapons into the ring. Kahoneys uses a cookie sheet on Ray. He tries a leg drop from the second rope but Ray moves out of the way. Brother Ray uses a teflon skillett to slow Kahoneys down. Axl gets the cookie sheet and slams it into Ray's head. Devon comes back in and he and Axl brawl to the outside. Kahoneys leaves the ring, and comes back with a toy lightsaber. The hell? Devon throws Ray a lightsaber as the crowd chants "Use the Force". The two duel with the lightsabers, and Kahoneys wins by 'stabbing' Brother Ray in the gut. Kahoneys does his trademark series of punches, but before he can cap it off, Bubba grabs the lightsaber and slams Kahoneys in his kahoneys. Axl comes in, and a few moves are exchanged before everybody leaves the ring and comes back with steel chairs. Chair duel takes place, and Axl and Balls actually win one, but can't get the three count. They argue with referee John Finnegan and whip him in the ropes, but Finnegan ducks the double clothesline and attempts a clothesline of his own. That doesn't go well, but Team 3D saves the day by slamming chairs into the heads of Balls and Axl. Team 3D then does the WAZZZUPPP headbutt, which I don't think they ever did in the original ECW, but who cares, and Ray asks Devon to get the tables. Devon fails to do his job properly and comes back with only one table, but luckily Gertner has some lighter fluid, so Team 3D makes do and sets the table on fire. Ray picks Kahoneys up, and the two powerbomb him through the flaming table and get the victory. Afterwards, Ray gets on the mic and proclaims Team 3D the best of all-time, which draws some dissenters with a cartful of weapons in the form of the Gangstas, Mustafa and New Jack. The Gangstas attack Team 3D with a variety of weapons, including a hockey stick, which causes Taz to say that New Jack was a big Clark Gilles fan. I think the number of people watching this that know who Clark Gilles is is probably less than 100. New Jack gets a guitar, Gertner tries to come in and gets blasted with the guitar for his efforts. The two teams face off in a staredown and then they all, HUG? Really? I know this is a tribute show in all, but that was a little much to take. The match was a bad imitation of the old ECW Dudley Boys-Balls and Axl matches, which had a lot more intensity than this. I'll give it a 0.8 out of 5.
A video is shown of Raven talking about his kayfabed relationship with Tommy Dreamer that supposedly goes back some 30 odd years. Raven claims that Dreamer stole his girl and his family, so by golly Raven's going to steal Dreamer's moment at Hardcore Justice and do to him psychically what Dreamer did to him emotionally. More TNA stars give their memories of ECW, as Jesse Neal talks about attending a show in Florida and feeling the energy and the vibe, which was so different than any other wrestling show, especially the UWF. Kazarian talks about getting in the ring with guys like Chris Candido and Jerry Lynn during his training under Killer Kowalski, and how TNA's X-Division was largely based off of the Jerry Lynn-Rob Van Dam series of matches. Another video is shown of the originals talking about Joey Styles' impact on the company. Mick Foley comes out first as the next match begins. Raven comes out and says something to Tommy's wife, the former Beulah McGillicutty, and her daughters. Also, TNA President Dixie Carter just happens to be sitting next to the Dreamers. Dreamer comes out, and Taz mentions that Tommy is wearing the same boots that he wore in his last match against Raven. Will the boots come into play? We will find out.
Foley gives some instructions but Raven doesn't want to hear them as he gives Dreamer a kick to the groin. To the outside, and Raven Russian Leg Sweeps Tommy into the guardrail. Back to the ring, Raven sets up a chair in the corner, but that backfires as Tommy whips him into the chair and sends Raven back outside the ring. Tommy gets a soda and spits it in Raven's face, stealing Carlito's gimmick in the process. Back inside the ring, Tommy sets up two chairs, but that backfires as Raven does his patented drop-toe-hold into the chair on Dreamer, only this time he used two chairs. To the outside, and Dreamer takes a chairshot right to the head in front of his family. Dreamer's busted open, and the kids are taken by a staff member to the back. Back inside, and Raven sets up a chair, but this time it is Dreamer that does the drop-toe-hold instead to chair on Raven. A 'fan' has a sign that says, "Use This, Tommy" and Dreamer does, cracking Raven on the skull. Dreamer rips the tape off to reveal that the sign is actually a DEAD END sign. Now Raven is bleeding from the head. Dreamer gets a ladder and sets it in the corner across the second rope, than catapults Raven throat first into the ladder. Ouch. Dreamer sets Raven up on the top turnbuckle and stands on the ladder, but Raven counters, and crotches Dreamer across one of the ladder in a move that every man watching felt. Raven goes for the Evenflow DDT, but it is countered into a Spicoli Driver, which nearly puts Raven away. Undaunted, Dreamer hangs Raven in the tree of woe, puts the sign over his face, than does a sliding dropkick into the sign. These two are pulling out all the stops tonight. Dreamer goes under the ring for something, and comes up with a string of barbed wire. Dreamer uses the barbed wire and puts Raven in a crossface with the wire over his mouth! Just as Raven is about to give up, Nova and the Blue Tillie come in and take out Mick Foley for a few seconds, than attack Dreamer. Nova hits a Flatliner while Blue Tillie goes for a splash, but misses. Dreamer takes out both men with a DDT-neckbreaker combo. However, he left himself open for Raven, who kicks Dreamer in the gut and Evenflows him down to the mat. Cover, but Dreamer just barely kicked out in time. That leads to Foley and Raven arguing, and Foley finally snaps and punches Raven a few times before pulling out his patented sock and stuffing it down Raven's gullett. Lupus is here! He legdrops Dreamer from the top rope. This does not please Foley, as he wraps the barbed wire around his sock clad hand and delivers a mandiable claw to poor Lupus. That cannot feel good, even if it is somewhat gimmicked. Lupus leaves with blood pouring out of his mouth. Raven finds some handcuffs and uses them to tie Dreamer's hands behind his back. Uh oh, Raven's got a chair. Foley tells him to reconsider, but Raven blasts Dreamer in the back with a chair. That brings out Beulah Dreamer, who tries to convince her one-time beau (at least in the storyline) to show mercy. Raven hugs Beulah, but hits Dreamer with the chair anyway. Raven goes after Mrs. Dreamer with the chair, but thankfully Foley puts the kibosh to that. No good deed goes unpunished, as Mick takes a chair to the back. Raven goes back to stalking Dreamer and Beulah, but Beulah hits a low blow, and Dreamer gets up and somehow DDTs Raven while handcuffed. Cover, but Raven just gets out at three. Raven kicks Dreamer in his bum knee, and then Evenflows him head first into the chair. Foley reluctantly counts three and Raven has defeated Tommy Dreamer once again. This was probably the closest thing to an ECW match this show has had so far. Even though there were some slow points, I actually quite liked this match, so I'll give it a 3.6 out of 5.
To the back where Jeremy Borash and So Cal Val are plugging the website when the Gangstas appear. New Jack informs So Cal Val that "once you go black, you get bad credit" and Mustafa leaves with Val. New Jack then casually informs JB that he is now 'his bitch'. Well, what a charming segment that was. Our last video package of the day shows the originals talking about the impact Paul Heyman had on their careers. Rob Van Dam comes out to his crappy TNA Theme. The fans seem to enjoy it, but personally I prefer this version instead. Bill Alfonso comes out with RVD, but runs to the ramp in order to accompany Sabu to the ring. Wow, he really does call it right down the middle. Sabu is now completely bald, which actually makes him look more menacing than before, but it was a shock to see at first. The match starts with RVD stalling Larry Zbyszko style. The two exchange a hold or two, break it up, then one of the two point either in the air or at themselves. Finally, Alfonso throws a chair in the ring, which Sabu uses to throw in Van Dam's face. Van Dam ends up in the crowd. Sabu sets the chair up and does a triple jump plancha over the guardrail onto Van Dam. Back in the ring, Sabu slows Van Dam down with a half camel-clutch. Sabu whips Van Dam into the corner and sets up the chair, but Van Dam is able to kick the chair into Sabu's legs, stopping his momentum. RVD with a monkey flip into the chair, than he picks up the chair and throws it at Sabu. That gets a two count. RVD whips Sabu into the corner, but Sabu counters with a clothesline. Sabu whips RVD into another corner, they both try to springboard kick each other but end up colliding in mid air. Both men are down, and Alfonso comes in to give Sabu a bottle of water. He also presents Van Dam with a bottle, and the two take a break as the fans chant "Water Break". These TNA fans spent the entire freaking show coming up with stupid chants, to the point where I can still hear them in my head. If somebody came out eating Fig Newtons, those fans would probably chant "FIIIG NEEW-TONS", but I digress.
After the impromptu water break, both men go to opposite sides outside the ring and dig up a table. Van Dam catches up to Sabu and catches him with a kick off the apron. Van Dam sets up Sabu on the guardrail and delivers a corkscrew legdrop from the apron. The carnage continues as Van Dam sets up Sabu on the apron, sets a chair onto Sabu's throat, and hits a slingshot legdrop on the chair. Van Dam goes to the top rope, but Sabu throws a chair into his face, crotching Van Dam. Sabu with a nice huracanrana that sends Van Dam flying onto the chair. Arabian Facebuster gets a two count for Sabu. Sabu goes to make him humble with the Camel Clutch. Sabu attempts a triple-jump moonsault, but Van Dam throws another chair into Sabu's face. Sabu is crotched on the top rope. Alfonso comes in to hold a chair in front of Sabu and RVD kicks it in Sabu's face, which Taz calls the Van Assasinator. Split-Legged moonsault from RVD, but Sabu kicks out. RVD sets up a table, and Sabu once again throws a chair into Van Dam, once in his back and once in his face. Van Dam catches Sabu with a kick, sets up a chair on him, and hits Rolling Thunder, hurting both Sabu and himself in the process. Cover, that gets a two count. Sabu's down in the corner, allowing Van Dam to dropkick a chair into his face for another two count. A series of reversals ends when Sabu delivers a nice springboard off the ropes into a tornado DDT on a chair. Arabian Facebuster from the second rope by Sabu, once again drawing a two count. Sabu sets up RVD on a table, and tries for the top rope Arabian Facebuster again, but Van Dam moves and Sabu goes through the table instead. Five-Star Frog Splash on Sabu, and RVD gets the victory. After the match, Sabu and RVD hug and Sabu lifts' RVD's arm up in the air. All the ECW guys come out with beers, and Dreamer offers his thanks to the fans, to the wrestlers, to Atlas Security and TNA President Dixie Carter, who is brought into the ring by Brother Ray. Dreamer says that this was "one hell of an F'n PPV". Well, I'm glad he liked it at least. As for the match, it took a while to get going, but at least they hit all of their spots. Still, it kind of lacked a certain something. I'll give it a 2.5 out of 5.
Overall, this show wasn't quite as bad as I feared it would be. There were two or three solid matches, mixed in with a couple of matches that I could have done without. This show wasn't as good as the first One Night Stand in 2005, but it wasn't too bad of a show. Even the announcing of Mike Tenay wasn't too annoying, although I wish the fans would stop chanting and actually react to what's happening in the ring. Overall, I'd give it a 5.7 out of 10. Thanks for reading, and if you have any comments about this post or ideas for future posts, than send them this way either by commenting or by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Fun with YouTube Recommendations: July 17, 2010
First of all, sorry for the lack of activity lately around here, as things have been a bit wacky the last few days. Hopefully, I will get back to a more consistent schedule at The Canon Review in the upcoming days. For now, to ease myself back into posting, I decided to watch a few videos that YouTube has recommended for me to watch based on previous videos I had viewed before. So, let's see what the machine has for me to watch today.
Video 1: 1987 NBA Draft - 12 - Tyrone Bogues, Wake Forest
First we get an interview with then Boston Celtics president Red Auerbach, one of basketball's most legendary figures. He agrees with San Antonio's selection of Navy center David Robinson with the first pick, a pick that was heavily criticized at the time due to Robinson having to serve a two-year commitment in the Navy and therefore, not being able to play right away. Looking back, the Spurs made the right pick. Auerbach also is surprised that so many guards were taken this early, and wondered how the Indiana Pacers fanbase would react to the team selecting Reggie Miller over local favorite Steve Alford. Of course, Miller had a hall-of-fame career with the Pacers, so I think the fans ended up satisfied with the picks. After the interview, the Washington Bullets turn their selection in the while the announcers speculate just who will be picked or if the trick will be traded. Commissioner David Stern announces that the Bullets selected point guard Tyrone Bouges with the 12th pick in the draft, which gets a mixed reaction from the announcers, but the crowd seems to like it. Bouges, nicknamed Muggsy, is a 5'3" guard from Wake Forest who the announcers say was projected to be a second-round selection. I think the Bullets may have reached here, but anytime you can team up the shortest (Bouges) and tallest player (Manute Bol) in NBA History, you've got to do it. Plus, Bouges is from the Washington D.C. area, so at least the fanbase will be happy. We get a highlight package of Bouges from his Wake Forest days, and the anaylsts seemed to think he had a good chance of becoming a decent NBA player. Also, we get an interview from Bouges himself, who expresses his excitement about playing for the Bullets. Well, Bouges only played one year for the Bullets before the Charlotte Hornets took him in the 1989 expansion draft. After that, Bouges settled in as the Hornets point guard for the next nine years, and currently ranks 16th all-time in assists in NBA history. So while the Bullets didn't get much out of the pick, it wasn't a bad pick, and the mistake the Bullets made was getting rid of Bouges too early.
Video 2: Eternal Champions Commercial
Remember the Sega Genesis game Eternal Champions? Well, Eternal Champions was Sega's attempt to cash in on the fighting game craze of the early 90s caused by Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter II. It wasn't quite as good as those other two games, nor was it as popular, but overall it wasn't too bad. This commercial, however, is just awful. Apparently, playing Eternal Champions is such an intense experience that it will twist your face into all sorts of grotesque positions. Um, ok. After seeing that commercial, I don't exactly want to play Eternal Champions right now.
Video 3: Raw 15: Shane McMahon on Nitro
I guess this clip is from some DVD or something, because it includes interviews from a couple of guys in between showing Shane McMahon showing up on the last edition of WCW Nitro. Edge was shocked, SHOCKED by this turn of events. Anyway, the video's basically a clip of Shane McMahon showing up and saying he "bought" WCW, and that's how one of the biggest companies in wrestling history ended, with Shane freakin' McMahon on the screen. Whoopee. I'm not going to go into what happened after this clip, because it would just make me angry.
Video 4: TNA Impact 7/15/10 Part 10/10 (HQ)
Ok, this wasn't on my recommendations page but dang it, I wanted to watch it and comment on it anyway. In their never ending quest to make themselves relevant on the wrestling scene, TNA has decided that now is the time for yet another ECW invasion. First of all, they tried this sort of thing like seven years ago and nobody cared about it then. Second, the WWE did it already five years ago, and since they own all of the ECW copyrights and had a more talented group of wrestlers available, they were able to make a success out of it with One Night Stand. Of course, that led to the ill-fated ECW brand a year later, but still it was a huge success at the time. Now it's been almost ten years since ECW had their last show, most of the wrestlers involved are either broken-down, retired, or dead, and TNA decides that now is the perfect time to stage an ECW invasion. So they bring in Tommy Dreamer, Stevie Richards, and Raven, team Rhyno up with them, and have all of them beat up on security and other TNA wrestlers. Of course, it doesn't look very extreme, and seems more like a standstill than a full-out beatdown, but whatever. Then you have the president of TNA get a mic and say, hold on a minute, I invited these guys. Why? exactly, were these people invited to beat up the roster, well tune in to Impact next week to find out. Look, I was as big a fan of ECW as anyone else, but this whole angle stinks, and just seems like another desperate attempt by TNA to get some people to watch their crappy show. Instead of relying on wrestlers successful a decade ago and tired and recycled ideas, TNA should, try something, anything, that's an original idea, but their braintrust is all stuck in the 1990s and even the rumors of Paul Heyman taking over the book won't change that mindset. Enjoy the video!
Well, thanks for reading, and I hope to have something else up over the next 12 hours or so. Until then, if you have any thoughts about this or other posts, than feel free to leave a comment. And if you ideas for future reviews, than send them to me at kthec2001@gmail.com
Video 1: 1987 NBA Draft - 12 - Tyrone Bogues, Wake Forest
First we get an interview with then Boston Celtics president Red Auerbach, one of basketball's most legendary figures. He agrees with San Antonio's selection of Navy center David Robinson with the first pick, a pick that was heavily criticized at the time due to Robinson having to serve a two-year commitment in the Navy and therefore, not being able to play right away. Looking back, the Spurs made the right pick. Auerbach also is surprised that so many guards were taken this early, and wondered how the Indiana Pacers fanbase would react to the team selecting Reggie Miller over local favorite Steve Alford. Of course, Miller had a hall-of-fame career with the Pacers, so I think the fans ended up satisfied with the picks. After the interview, the Washington Bullets turn their selection in the while the announcers speculate just who will be picked or if the trick will be traded. Commissioner David Stern announces that the Bullets selected point guard Tyrone Bouges with the 12th pick in the draft, which gets a mixed reaction from the announcers, but the crowd seems to like it. Bouges, nicknamed Muggsy, is a 5'3" guard from Wake Forest who the announcers say was projected to be a second-round selection. I think the Bullets may have reached here, but anytime you can team up the shortest (Bouges) and tallest player (Manute Bol) in NBA History, you've got to do it. Plus, Bouges is from the Washington D.C. area, so at least the fanbase will be happy. We get a highlight package of Bouges from his Wake Forest days, and the anaylsts seemed to think he had a good chance of becoming a decent NBA player. Also, we get an interview from Bouges himself, who expresses his excitement about playing for the Bullets. Well, Bouges only played one year for the Bullets before the Charlotte Hornets took him in the 1989 expansion draft. After that, Bouges settled in as the Hornets point guard for the next nine years, and currently ranks 16th all-time in assists in NBA history. So while the Bullets didn't get much out of the pick, it wasn't a bad pick, and the mistake the Bullets made was getting rid of Bouges too early.
Video 2: Eternal Champions Commercial
Remember the Sega Genesis game Eternal Champions? Well, Eternal Champions was Sega's attempt to cash in on the fighting game craze of the early 90s caused by Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter II. It wasn't quite as good as those other two games, nor was it as popular, but overall it wasn't too bad. This commercial, however, is just awful. Apparently, playing Eternal Champions is such an intense experience that it will twist your face into all sorts of grotesque positions. Um, ok. After seeing that commercial, I don't exactly want to play Eternal Champions right now.
Video 3: Raw 15: Shane McMahon on Nitro
I guess this clip is from some DVD or something, because it includes interviews from a couple of guys in between showing Shane McMahon showing up on the last edition of WCW Nitro. Edge was shocked, SHOCKED by this turn of events. Anyway, the video's basically a clip of Shane McMahon showing up and saying he "bought" WCW, and that's how one of the biggest companies in wrestling history ended, with Shane freakin' McMahon on the screen. Whoopee. I'm not going to go into what happened after this clip, because it would just make me angry.
Video 4: TNA Impact 7/15/10 Part 10/10 (HQ)
Ok, this wasn't on my recommendations page but dang it, I wanted to watch it and comment on it anyway. In their never ending quest to make themselves relevant on the wrestling scene, TNA has decided that now is the time for yet another ECW invasion. First of all, they tried this sort of thing like seven years ago and nobody cared about it then. Second, the WWE did it already five years ago, and since they own all of the ECW copyrights and had a more talented group of wrestlers available, they were able to make a success out of it with One Night Stand. Of course, that led to the ill-fated ECW brand a year later, but still it was a huge success at the time. Now it's been almost ten years since ECW had their last show, most of the wrestlers involved are either broken-down, retired, or dead, and TNA decides that now is the perfect time to stage an ECW invasion. So they bring in Tommy Dreamer, Stevie Richards, and Raven, team Rhyno up with them, and have all of them beat up on security and other TNA wrestlers. Of course, it doesn't look very extreme, and seems more like a standstill than a full-out beatdown, but whatever. Then you have the president of TNA get a mic and say, hold on a minute, I invited these guys. Why? exactly, were these people invited to beat up the roster, well tune in to Impact next week to find out. Look, I was as big a fan of ECW as anyone else, but this whole angle stinks, and just seems like another desperate attempt by TNA to get some people to watch their crappy show. Instead of relying on wrestlers successful a decade ago and tired and recycled ideas, TNA should, try something, anything, that's an original idea, but their braintrust is all stuck in the 1990s and even the rumors of Paul Heyman taking over the book won't change that mindset. Enjoy the video!
Well, thanks for reading, and I hope to have something else up over the next 12 hours or so. Until then, if you have any thoughts about this or other posts, than feel free to leave a comment. And if you ideas for future reviews, than send them to me at kthec2001@gmail.com
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Canon Review List-A-Mania: The Ten Worst Wrestling Themes
As you could probably tell from reading this blog, I like pro wrestling. Not as much as I used to, but I still I admit to liking it. Part of watching pro wrestling is that you get to hear a lot of mostly bad music that serve as the "themes" or introductions to the wrestlers. Oh sure, there are some good themes, like Ric Flair coming out to "Also Sprach Zachtura" (aka the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey) or Edge, who uses Alter Bridge's "Metalingus". But a lot of it you wouldn't want to be caught listening to. The worst of these themes makes you embarrassed to hear it, they're so bad. So, here are the top 10 worst themes in wrestling, and believe me I could have easily made this a top 30.
10. Cactus Jack's WCW Theme (Mr. Bang Bang)
This is from the somewhat infamous WCW Slam Jam album, which had a lot of other candidates for this list. In fact, there is another song from that CD upcoming on the list. For now, let's focus on Mr. Bang Bang. The person signing seems to marbles in his mouth, they're doing an awful rip-off of ZZ Top, and the lyrics are ridicoulous (i.e. "He's a strange as a man can be, He ain't got no family"). Also, at the end they put a bunch of random sound effects in, including a phone ringing.
9. Theme for X-Factor (performed by Uncle Kracker)
Anything that combines X-Pac and Uncle Kracker is bound to disliked by most wrestling fans, and this song does not disappoint. Unlike most wrestling themes, which are designed to grab people's attention by starting out loud, this one starts out soft. Plus, it's an Uncle Kracker song, so how good is it going to be in the first place.
8. Chyna's WWE Theme
This is particularly hard to listen to. The same lines are repeated over and over for three minutes, and the song sounds like as if it's performed by the world's worst version of Evanescence. I've got two words to describe this song, just brutal.
7. Buff Bagwell's WCW Theme (Buff Daddy)
Yep, it's Buff Bagwell singing his own theme, while some female backup vocalists keep saying "Buff Daddy" and "Buff is the stuff" ad nauseum. It's enough to make someone cry. Also, what exactly is a "Buff Daddy" anyway?
6. "I'm an Ass Man" (Billy Gunn theme)
Billy Gunn's had some rough themes to listen to (the "Rockabilly" theme is particularly bad), but this one takes the cake due to its pure absurdity. In this song, a man proclaims his love for asses, whether looking at them, kicking them, or "sticking them". He is lover of every kind, and proclaims that "the best surprises always sneak up from behind" With this theme, it's small wonder that Billy Gunn's main event push never took off in 1999.
5. Bastion Booger's theme
The Bastion Booger's whole gimmick was that he was a nasty fat guy, so I guess it made sense to have a theme with noises of snoring and farting and who knows what other bodily functions. They decided to set those noises to some music you might here in Silent Hill or some other suspense game or movie. It makes for a strange combination, but I wouldn't say it's good. In fact, it's almost unlistenable.
4. Rob Van Dam's TNA Theme
My goodness is this annoying. All it is is some band trying to play the worst possible metal music possible while the lead singer growls on about Rob Van Dam and his moves. This goes on for three minutes, and after about 10 seconds it becomes hard to take. To make matters worse, it gets stuck in your head after one listen, like an annoying fly that just won't go away no matter what you try to do. However, it's not the worst theme in TNA today, because that would be . . .
3. Jeff Hardy's TNA Theme
This song is called Modest, and is performed by Jeff Hardy's own band Peroxwhy?gen. With a name like that, you would expect bad music, and by golly this song does not disappoint. Jeff Hardy can do a lot of things, he can wrestle, he can build a volcano in his own backyard and he can paint his face with the best of them, but one thing Mr. Hardy can not do is sing, and this song makes that fact painfully clear.
2. Ricky Steamboat's WCW Theme (Family Man)
Ricky Steamboat is a true legend in the professional wrestling world, but WCW decided that instead of giving "The Dragon" a good or at least passable theme, they decided to give Steamboat a theme that sounds like the opening song to some cheesy 80s song. I really can't decide which part I hate the most, from the sappy lyrics to the annoying background music to the singer who tries to scream certain lyrics but it ends up sounding like a nearly incomprehensible growl. This song is 31 flavors of awful, but the next song is 63 flavors of awful, so this only finishes number two.
1. American Males Theme
This song is so bad that goes all the way around to being good, and then goes around to be bad once again. Words can not describe this song, so just listen to it and you'll know why it top (or bottoms) the list of the worst theme songs in wrestling history.
Well, thanks for reading. I'm pretty sure I didn't get all the bad themes on this list, so if your favorite (or least favorite) theme didn't make the cut, than feel free to share it. Also, if you have any ideas for future reviews, than give them to me either by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com or by leaving a comment on this blog.
10. Cactus Jack's WCW Theme (Mr. Bang Bang)
This is from the somewhat infamous WCW Slam Jam album, which had a lot of other candidates for this list. In fact, there is another song from that CD upcoming on the list. For now, let's focus on Mr. Bang Bang. The person signing seems to marbles in his mouth, they're doing an awful rip-off of ZZ Top, and the lyrics are ridicoulous (i.e. "He's a strange as a man can be, He ain't got no family"). Also, at the end they put a bunch of random sound effects in, including a phone ringing.
9. Theme for X-Factor (performed by Uncle Kracker)
Anything that combines X-Pac and Uncle Kracker is bound to disliked by most wrestling fans, and this song does not disappoint. Unlike most wrestling themes, which are designed to grab people's attention by starting out loud, this one starts out soft. Plus, it's an Uncle Kracker song, so how good is it going to be in the first place.
8. Chyna's WWE Theme
This is particularly hard to listen to. The same lines are repeated over and over for three minutes, and the song sounds like as if it's performed by the world's worst version of Evanescence. I've got two words to describe this song, just brutal.
7. Buff Bagwell's WCW Theme (Buff Daddy)
Yep, it's Buff Bagwell singing his own theme, while some female backup vocalists keep saying "Buff Daddy" and "Buff is the stuff" ad nauseum. It's enough to make someone cry. Also, what exactly is a "Buff Daddy" anyway?
6. "I'm an Ass Man" (Billy Gunn theme)
Billy Gunn's had some rough themes to listen to (the "Rockabilly" theme is particularly bad), but this one takes the cake due to its pure absurdity. In this song, a man proclaims his love for asses, whether looking at them, kicking them, or "sticking them". He is lover of every kind, and proclaims that "the best surprises always sneak up from behind" With this theme, it's small wonder that Billy Gunn's main event push never took off in 1999.
5. Bastion Booger's theme
The Bastion Booger's whole gimmick was that he was a nasty fat guy, so I guess it made sense to have a theme with noises of snoring and farting and who knows what other bodily functions. They decided to set those noises to some music you might here in Silent Hill or some other suspense game or movie. It makes for a strange combination, but I wouldn't say it's good. In fact, it's almost unlistenable.
4. Rob Van Dam's TNA Theme
My goodness is this annoying. All it is is some band trying to play the worst possible metal music possible while the lead singer growls on about Rob Van Dam and his moves. This goes on for three minutes, and after about 10 seconds it becomes hard to take. To make matters worse, it gets stuck in your head after one listen, like an annoying fly that just won't go away no matter what you try to do. However, it's not the worst theme in TNA today, because that would be . . .
3. Jeff Hardy's TNA Theme
This song is called Modest, and is performed by Jeff Hardy's own band Peroxwhy?gen. With a name like that, you would expect bad music, and by golly this song does not disappoint. Jeff Hardy can do a lot of things, he can wrestle, he can build a volcano in his own backyard and he can paint his face with the best of them, but one thing Mr. Hardy can not do is sing, and this song makes that fact painfully clear.
2. Ricky Steamboat's WCW Theme (Family Man)
Ricky Steamboat is a true legend in the professional wrestling world, but WCW decided that instead of giving "The Dragon" a good or at least passable theme, they decided to give Steamboat a theme that sounds like the opening song to some cheesy 80s song. I really can't decide which part I hate the most, from the sappy lyrics to the annoying background music to the singer who tries to scream certain lyrics but it ends up sounding like a nearly incomprehensible growl. This song is 31 flavors of awful, but the next song is 63 flavors of awful, so this only finishes number two.
1. American Males Theme
This song is so bad that goes all the way around to being good, and then goes around to be bad once again. Words can not describe this song, so just listen to it and you'll know why it top (or bottoms) the list of the worst theme songs in wrestling history.
Well, thanks for reading. I'm pretty sure I didn't get all the bad themes on this list, so if your favorite (or least favorite) theme didn't make the cut, than feel free to share it. Also, if you have any ideas for future reviews, than give them to me either by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com or by leaving a comment on this blog.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Let's talk about Beer Money
No, I'm not talking about actual Beer Money. I'm talking about the TNA Tag Team Beer Money, comprised of James Storm and Robert Roode. See, they're called Beer Money because James Storm drinks a lot of beer and Robert Roode has a lot of money, or at least that's what the storyline says. Anyway, some people consider Beer Money to be the best tag team in the world. Those people probably don't watch too much Japanese or Mexican wrestling, but then again I hardly watch any wrestling these days so I'm not qualified to say who the best tag team in the world is. However, I have to give Beer Money its due for being one of the few homegrown acts TNA has created that has actually succeeded, instead of their usual policy of pushing guys that use to wrestle for the WWE and WCW. Since I haven't seen enough of Beer Money to judge them properly, I decided to watch a few of their matches over the past couple of years and see just how good Beer Money is.
Match 1: Beer Money (w/Jacqueline) vs. LAX (Homicide and Hernandez, w/Hector Guerrero and Salinas), World Tag Team Title Match, Hard Justice 2008
The story coming into this match was that a week before the PPV, Beer Money put Homicide through a glass table (or rather, a table with a pane of glass on top of it). Because of this, Homicide has his eye taped up. LAX has some rapper named F.I.L.T.H.E.E. come out with them and sing their theme song. It wasn't my type of music, but whatever. LAX decides to waste no time and go after their opponents with brawling tactics. LAX dominates the first few minutes of the match, and Hernandez hits an awesome suicide dive on Beer Money where he lands on his feet. Not bad for a guy that weighs 280 pounds. Back in the ring, Homicide has the advantage until Storm spits beer in his injured eye. Beer Money uses this opening to attack and gouge Homicide's injured eye. They get a couple of two counts after a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Roode and a brainbuster from Storm. Back in, Roode mocks Hector's late brother Eddy with his version of the "three amigos" suplexes. He even does the chest slap and everything, the bastard. Roode misses a top-rope splash, which allows Homicide to get the hot tag to Hernandez, who starts taking out people like a wrecking ball. Beer Money uses a double team on Hernandez to get a two-count, but Hernandez recovers and tags back Homicide. Homicide hits a big splash from the top on Storm for two. Everybody's in now, but LAX eventually get control of the ring and send Beer Money to the apron. Homicide and Hernandez argue about their next move, and Hernandez picks Homicide up for the Border Toss (Outsider's Edge). He launches Homicide over the top rope onto both members of Beer Money, taking out all three men. Hernandez must have thrown Homicide at least 10 feet on that move. Back in the ring, Hernandez tries to avalanche Roode, but Roode moves out of the way and Hernandez goes flying to the outside. Roode follows him out, and after a low blow on Hernandez from Jacqueline, the two seconds get into a skirmish. Meanwhile, Homicide sets up Storm for the Gringo Killer (vertabreaker), but Roode hits Homicide in the face with a beer bottle, allowing Storm to get the cover and the win. Pretty good match between two good teams, and the psychology of this match was quite sound. I'll give it a 3.4853085 out of 5.
Match 2: Beer Money vs. Lethal Consequences (Consequences Creed and Jay Lethal) vs. Matt Morgan and Abyss, World Tag Team Title, Genesis 2009-
The show prior to the PPV, Lethal Consequences cashed in on a "Feast or Fired" tag team title shot and won the belts from Beer Money. Because Morgan and Abyss were already the number-one contenders, the powers-that-be decided that this would be a three-team tag team match. Storm comes to the ring riding a cooler on a Razor scooter. He has deemed the contraption the "Boozer Cruiser". Very clever, I must say. This match probably would have better off if it was just Beer Money vs. Lethal Consequences, as they did about 90 percent of the work anyway and the other two guys just stood there most of the match. At least Morgan did a dive off of the top rope to the outside on both opposing tag teams, an impressive looking dive for a seven foot tall man, I must say. Abyss and Morgan aren't bad wrestlers, per se, but their opponents moved at a much faster pace than they could possibly keep up with, especially Lethal, who is probably the quickest wrestler on TNA's roster. Speaking of which, I really wish he would drop the whole "Black Machismo" act, as while it was funny at first and helped him stand out, it's kind of played out even by this point and especially now. The match was decent, although the ending was dumb, as Abyss caught one of the tag belts thrown in by Beer Money, walked around for half a minute, and accidentally hit his partner with the belt while swinging at Roode. Morgan got pinned and Beer Money regain the belts. I'll give this match a 2.42 out of 5.
Match 3: Beer Money vs. Team 3-D, World Tag Team Title Match, Slammiversary 2009
Team 3-D are the champions heading into this match. Storm once again comes out on his Boozer Cruiser. Mike Tenay brings up the fact that Team 3-D, due to having a match in Japan, are coming off of a 20 hour flight back to Detroit for this match. If they were jet-lagged, than it certainly didn't look like it, as Team 3-D looked sharp in this match. The match starts with Team 3-D in control, delivering blows to their opponents. Bubba Ray does a overhead German Suplex on Roode, and poor Roode lands on the back of his head. Ouch! It seems as if Beer Money is taking most of the bumps in this match, as Team 3-D is getting twice as much offense in the match than Beer Money. Bubba hits some of his trademark spots, including the Bubba Bomb, and Team 3-D hits the WAZZUP!? headbutt they've been using for a decade now. D-Von goes to get the tables, but takes too long and Beer Money gains the advantage. They hit their trademark double suplex and scream BEER MONEY!!, as they are wont to do. The British Invasion comes out to do guest commentary. From there, the match pace really picks up, as the two teams exchange a series of two counts, including a top-rope hurracanrana/money shot combo from Storm and Roode, and a Doomsday Device from Team 3-D on Roode. Eventually, the British Invasion get involved, and Bubba dives from the top onto two of the members, while Doug Williams, the third member, gets shoved off of the apron and through a table by D-Von. But the distraction allows Storm to hit the Last Call (superkick) on D-Von, setting him up for the DWI (simoultenious powerbomb and neckbreaker). Beer Money gets the tainted victory to become Tag Team Champions for the third time. Good match, but I could have done without the outside interference. I'll give it a three out of 5.
Match 4: Beer Money vs. The Band (Kevin Nash and Syxx-Pac), Genesis 2010
This match is a result of The Band (Nash, Syxx, and Scott Hall) attacking Beer Money backstage on an episode of TNA Impact. Nash and Syxx represent The Band, while Beer Money comes out fired up. Storm spits beer in Nash's face, and it is on. Beer Money starts out in control of Syxx, hitting a couple of double team moves on their opponent. Nash comes in and proves hard to knock off of his feet, but a flying clothesline from Roode finally gets the big man down. The two members of Beer Money use the wishbone on Nash, and fight off Syxx until Nash finally takes control for the Band by nailing Storm. The next five minutes or so are spent with Storm getting beaten up by his advesaries, including taking elbows in the corner from Nash and the Bronco Buster from Syxx. Tazz keeps calling Syxx X-Pac, which amuses Mike Tenay greatly. Storm finally gets control by hitting the lungblower on Nash, which gives him enough time to make the Hot Tag to Roode. Roode gives Syxx a series of clotheslines and a back drop. Roode also hits a spinebuster on Pac, but Nash comes to break up the cover. I haven't mentioned this before, but Robert Roode may have the best spinebuster in American Wrestling, much better looking than Triple H's or Batista's. Anyway, Beer Money does their double suplex and signature BEER MONEY! taunt. Scott Hall comes out, and Nash clothesline both Storm and Roode down. Hall attacks a fan for some reason, which distracts Syxx. Nash sets up Roode for the Jacknife, but Storm hits the Last Call on Nash, and Roode covers Nash for the three count. Nash doing the job? Will Wonders ever cease? Wasn't too bad, but nothing to write home about. I'll give it a 2.41 out of 5.
So, what did I learn from all of this? That Beer Money is actually a solid tag team, even if their name is kind of ridiculous once you first hear it. Of the two, Roode's probably the better wrestler, and Storm's got the most charisma, but each man brings enough to the table, and they work really well as a team. TNA may get a lot of crap for the booking decisions they have made over the years, and most of it is well deserved, but putting Storm and Roode together was one of the best decisions they have made.
Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future posts on The Canon Review, than let me know about them, either by leaving a comment or by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com, or if you see me sometime and have an idea, than let me know about it.
Match 1: Beer Money (w/Jacqueline) vs. LAX (Homicide and Hernandez, w/Hector Guerrero and Salinas), World Tag Team Title Match, Hard Justice 2008
The story coming into this match was that a week before the PPV, Beer Money put Homicide through a glass table (or rather, a table with a pane of glass on top of it). Because of this, Homicide has his eye taped up. LAX has some rapper named F.I.L.T.H.E.E. come out with them and sing their theme song. It wasn't my type of music, but whatever. LAX decides to waste no time and go after their opponents with brawling tactics. LAX dominates the first few minutes of the match, and Hernandez hits an awesome suicide dive on Beer Money where he lands on his feet. Not bad for a guy that weighs 280 pounds. Back in the ring, Homicide has the advantage until Storm spits beer in his injured eye. Beer Money uses this opening to attack and gouge Homicide's injured eye. They get a couple of two counts after a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Roode and a brainbuster from Storm. Back in, Roode mocks Hector's late brother Eddy with his version of the "three amigos" suplexes. He even does the chest slap and everything, the bastard. Roode misses a top-rope splash, which allows Homicide to get the hot tag to Hernandez, who starts taking out people like a wrecking ball. Beer Money uses a double team on Hernandez to get a two-count, but Hernandez recovers and tags back Homicide. Homicide hits a big splash from the top on Storm for two. Everybody's in now, but LAX eventually get control of the ring and send Beer Money to the apron. Homicide and Hernandez argue about their next move, and Hernandez picks Homicide up for the Border Toss (Outsider's Edge). He launches Homicide over the top rope onto both members of Beer Money, taking out all three men. Hernandez must have thrown Homicide at least 10 feet on that move. Back in the ring, Hernandez tries to avalanche Roode, but Roode moves out of the way and Hernandez goes flying to the outside. Roode follows him out, and after a low blow on Hernandez from Jacqueline, the two seconds get into a skirmish. Meanwhile, Homicide sets up Storm for the Gringo Killer (vertabreaker), but Roode hits Homicide in the face with a beer bottle, allowing Storm to get the cover and the win. Pretty good match between two good teams, and the psychology of this match was quite sound. I'll give it a 3.4853085 out of 5.
Match 2: Beer Money vs. Lethal Consequences (Consequences Creed and Jay Lethal) vs. Matt Morgan and Abyss, World Tag Team Title, Genesis 2009-
The show prior to the PPV, Lethal Consequences cashed in on a "Feast or Fired" tag team title shot and won the belts from Beer Money. Because Morgan and Abyss were already the number-one contenders, the powers-that-be decided that this would be a three-team tag team match. Storm comes to the ring riding a cooler on a Razor scooter. He has deemed the contraption the "Boozer Cruiser". Very clever, I must say. This match probably would have better off if it was just Beer Money vs. Lethal Consequences, as they did about 90 percent of the work anyway and the other two guys just stood there most of the match. At least Morgan did a dive off of the top rope to the outside on both opposing tag teams, an impressive looking dive for a seven foot tall man, I must say. Abyss and Morgan aren't bad wrestlers, per se, but their opponents moved at a much faster pace than they could possibly keep up with, especially Lethal, who is probably the quickest wrestler on TNA's roster. Speaking of which, I really wish he would drop the whole "Black Machismo" act, as while it was funny at first and helped him stand out, it's kind of played out even by this point and especially now. The match was decent, although the ending was dumb, as Abyss caught one of the tag belts thrown in by Beer Money, walked around for half a minute, and accidentally hit his partner with the belt while swinging at Roode. Morgan got pinned and Beer Money regain the belts. I'll give this match a 2.42 out of 5.
Match 3: Beer Money vs. Team 3-D, World Tag Team Title Match, Slammiversary 2009
Team 3-D are the champions heading into this match. Storm once again comes out on his Boozer Cruiser. Mike Tenay brings up the fact that Team 3-D, due to having a match in Japan, are coming off of a 20 hour flight back to Detroit for this match. If they were jet-lagged, than it certainly didn't look like it, as Team 3-D looked sharp in this match. The match starts with Team 3-D in control, delivering blows to their opponents. Bubba Ray does a overhead German Suplex on Roode, and poor Roode lands on the back of his head. Ouch! It seems as if Beer Money is taking most of the bumps in this match, as Team 3-D is getting twice as much offense in the match than Beer Money. Bubba hits some of his trademark spots, including the Bubba Bomb, and Team 3-D hits the WAZZUP!? headbutt they've been using for a decade now. D-Von goes to get the tables, but takes too long and Beer Money gains the advantage. They hit their trademark double suplex and scream BEER MONEY!!, as they are wont to do. The British Invasion comes out to do guest commentary. From there, the match pace really picks up, as the two teams exchange a series of two counts, including a top-rope hurracanrana/money shot combo from Storm and Roode, and a Doomsday Device from Team 3-D on Roode. Eventually, the British Invasion get involved, and Bubba dives from the top onto two of the members, while Doug Williams, the third member, gets shoved off of the apron and through a table by D-Von. But the distraction allows Storm to hit the Last Call (superkick) on D-Von, setting him up for the DWI (simoultenious powerbomb and neckbreaker). Beer Money gets the tainted victory to become Tag Team Champions for the third time. Good match, but I could have done without the outside interference. I'll give it a three out of 5.
Match 4: Beer Money vs. The Band (Kevin Nash and Syxx-Pac), Genesis 2010
This match is a result of The Band (Nash, Syxx, and Scott Hall) attacking Beer Money backstage on an episode of TNA Impact. Nash and Syxx represent The Band, while Beer Money comes out fired up. Storm spits beer in Nash's face, and it is on. Beer Money starts out in control of Syxx, hitting a couple of double team moves on their opponent. Nash comes in and proves hard to knock off of his feet, but a flying clothesline from Roode finally gets the big man down. The two members of Beer Money use the wishbone on Nash, and fight off Syxx until Nash finally takes control for the Band by nailing Storm. The next five minutes or so are spent with Storm getting beaten up by his advesaries, including taking elbows in the corner from Nash and the Bronco Buster from Syxx. Tazz keeps calling Syxx X-Pac, which amuses Mike Tenay greatly. Storm finally gets control by hitting the lungblower on Nash, which gives him enough time to make the Hot Tag to Roode. Roode gives Syxx a series of clotheslines and a back drop. Roode also hits a spinebuster on Pac, but Nash comes to break up the cover. I haven't mentioned this before, but Robert Roode may have the best spinebuster in American Wrestling, much better looking than Triple H's or Batista's. Anyway, Beer Money does their double suplex and signature BEER MONEY! taunt. Scott Hall comes out, and Nash clothesline both Storm and Roode down. Hall attacks a fan for some reason, which distracts Syxx. Nash sets up Roode for the Jacknife, but Storm hits the Last Call on Nash, and Roode covers Nash for the three count. Nash doing the job? Will Wonders ever cease? Wasn't too bad, but nothing to write home about. I'll give it a 2.41 out of 5.
So, what did I learn from all of this? That Beer Money is actually a solid tag team, even if their name is kind of ridiculous once you first hear it. Of the two, Roode's probably the better wrestler, and Storm's got the most charisma, but each man brings enough to the table, and they work really well as a team. TNA may get a lot of crap for the booking decisions they have made over the years, and most of it is well deserved, but putting Storm and Roode together was one of the best decisions they have made.
Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future posts on The Canon Review, than let me know about them, either by leaving a comment or by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com, or if you see me sometime and have an idea, than let me know about it.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Time for Moore, Shannon Moore
Recently, my brother Ben and I were having a conversation about TNA's show last Monday, which was pretty awful, according to him and I both. Anyway, we were talking about the X-Division Match between X-Division Champion Doug Williams, Kaz, and Christopher Daniels. In the story line, Kaz was supposed to receive an X-Division Title Shot at the next pay-per-view, but apparently he preferred to have it on free TV, and with another man involved. Anyway, Williams won, but out comes Shannon Moore, who attacked Williams and eventually drove him to the back. Eric Bischoff must have been impressed, because he, as one of the 82 people in charge of TNA, named Shannon Moore the Number one contender to Williams' Title, and the men will have a match on the next pay-per-view. Well, Ben did not care for this too much, heavily questioning why Shannon Moore would even be in TNA, much less be given a PPV title match. He even went as far as saying that Shannon Moore has never had one good match. Well, that sounded like a challenge to me, so I set off to prove him wrong, and find a good Shannon Moore match. However, there are some stipulations, as it can't be a multi-man or a tag-team match. Nope, it only can be singles, 1 vs. 1 matches. So without further adieu, here is a summary of what I've found.
Match 1: Shannon Moore vs. Paul London
This match is from 2004 and was shown on Velocity, where all of the B-stars wrestled. Moore has a mohawk, but at least it isn't the spiked mohawk look he has now. Anyway, this was a decent match, although it started off very slowly. Moore was portrayed as the power wrestler in this match, which makes no sense because he's about 5'7" and 170 pounds. London's not that big, but he's bigger than Shannon. Anyway, the match really didn't pick up until London hit a second-rope German Suplex from the tree of woe position. That's something you don't see everyday. After that, the pace began to pick up some. London hit some of his kicks and a leg lariat, but only gets two. Moore fights back, hits a variation of the Mooregasm (which is usually a swinging neckbreaker from the top rope, but this one is from the ground), but only gets two. They excahnge a couple of holds before London uses the magistral cradle on Moore for the three count. This match was ok, and like most WWE cruiserweight matches, probably needed another three minutes. I'll give it a 2.4 out of 5, not bad, but not that great either. Here's a video of the match here, although I think the video may have cut out a few seconds of the match.
Paul London vs Shannon Moore
Uploaded by wrestlingfan1023. - Check out more sports and extreme sports videos.
Match 2: Shannon Moore vs. Chavo Guerrero (WCW Monday Nitro 01/08/01)
This match is for Chavo's Cruiserweight Title. I wanted to like this match, I really did. But these two just didn't mesh for whatever reason. Moore messed up on a couple of spots, including a springboard attempt where he slipped on the rope. The match had its moments, but ultimately it wasn't very good. Chavo ends it with a brain buster that looked more like a powerslam. I'll give it a 1.8 out of 5. Here's the videos for the match, and you get bonus backstage footage with the Harris Brothers!
Match 3: Shannon Moore vs. The Miz (Smackdown, 4/25/08)
This was a match in the middle of the mini-feud between The Miz & John Morrison vs. Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang. As I recall, it produced some good tag matches, but since I'm only doing singles matches, they do not qualify. John Morrison is at ringside doing commentary, since he is with Michael Cole and Johnathan Coachman, he is by far the best commentator during this match. Cole says Shannon Moore is a "pretty cool guy", so he's got that going for him, which is nice. Miz provided most of the offense, which is good because it plays to Shannon's strengths, which is bumping and making the other guy look good. The Miz hit a nice looking clothesline and a powerslam during this match, but couldn't put Shannon away. Match ends after Miz goes for his finisher, but Moore counters with a backslide for the upset victory. A short match, but everything was done well. I think that this is a good match, not an all-time classic, but good nonetheless. I'll give it a 2.80350 out of 5. Here, once again, is a video so you can see it.
Smackdown 25/4/08 The Miz vs Shannon Moore - MyVideo
Match 4: Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble (Smackdown 08/03/2007)
If this match were 10 minutes, it could have been pretty good, unfortunately, it was 3 and a half minutes, and most of that was Noble controlling Moore. Moore did hit a nice corkscrew moonsault press, but whatever momentum he gained was quickly squashed, as Noble hit a vicious looking jumping knee, and then put the Gutbuster on Moore for the three count. Afterwards, things got stupid as Hornswoggle came out to pester Noble. Match was too short to really accomplish anything, so I'll give it a 1.820 out of 5. You can give it whatever you want, as here's the video.
Shannon Moore Vs Jamie NOble
Uploaded by takerman.
So, what have we learned? Mainly, that Shannon Moore has been used as little more than a spare part over the years, and most of his matches in the big time are going to be short battles where his opponent is the one delivering the majority of the offense. Which makes sense because Moore's not the biggest guy around. Shannon Moore is good at what he does, but other than his unique look, his wrestling doesn't stand out too much. Yes, he can hit some high-flying moves, but mostly he's just a steady hand who won't take anything off the table, but won't put too much on the table either. It's surprising that TNA decided to put him in the X-Division Title Match with Doug Williams, but then again, TNA usually doesn't seem to know what they are doing and besides, it could be a very good match, if they just let the two men wrestle for 10-15 minutes. But enough about all of that, the challenge was to find a good Shannon Moore singles match (to be honest, I made it a singles match challenge, as Ben just said no 6 man tags where Moore's hardly in the ring or something like that). I might have done that, or I might not have. I think I did, but you might watch these matches and think they're all sorts of terrible, and that I have no idea what I'm talking about. If so, that's cool, let me know and I'll try again in the near future.
Well, thanks for reading. If you have any ideas for the Canon Review, then let me know either by leaving comments on the blog, or by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com. I leave you with Shannon Moore's last WWE theme music, which I'd say isn't good at all.
Match 1: Shannon Moore vs. Paul London
This match is from 2004 and was shown on Velocity, where all of the B-stars wrestled. Moore has a mohawk, but at least it isn't the spiked mohawk look he has now. Anyway, this was a decent match, although it started off very slowly. Moore was portrayed as the power wrestler in this match, which makes no sense because he's about 5'7" and 170 pounds. London's not that big, but he's bigger than Shannon. Anyway, the match really didn't pick up until London hit a second-rope German Suplex from the tree of woe position. That's something you don't see everyday. After that, the pace began to pick up some. London hit some of his kicks and a leg lariat, but only gets two. Moore fights back, hits a variation of the Mooregasm (which is usually a swinging neckbreaker from the top rope, but this one is from the ground), but only gets two. They excahnge a couple of holds before London uses the magistral cradle on Moore for the three count. This match was ok, and like most WWE cruiserweight matches, probably needed another three minutes. I'll give it a 2.4 out of 5, not bad, but not that great either. Here's a video of the match here, although I think the video may have cut out a few seconds of the match.
Paul London vs Shannon Moore
Uploaded by wrestlingfan1023. - Check out more sports and extreme sports videos.
Match 2: Shannon Moore vs. Chavo Guerrero (WCW Monday Nitro 01/08/01)
This match is for Chavo's Cruiserweight Title. I wanted to like this match, I really did. But these two just didn't mesh for whatever reason. Moore messed up on a couple of spots, including a springboard attempt where he slipped on the rope. The match had its moments, but ultimately it wasn't very good. Chavo ends it with a brain buster that looked more like a powerslam. I'll give it a 1.8 out of 5. Here's the videos for the match, and you get bonus backstage footage with the Harris Brothers!
Match 3: Shannon Moore vs. The Miz (Smackdown, 4/25/08)
This was a match in the middle of the mini-feud between The Miz & John Morrison vs. Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang. As I recall, it produced some good tag matches, but since I'm only doing singles matches, they do not qualify. John Morrison is at ringside doing commentary, since he is with Michael Cole and Johnathan Coachman, he is by far the best commentator during this match. Cole says Shannon Moore is a "pretty cool guy", so he's got that going for him, which is nice. Miz provided most of the offense, which is good because it plays to Shannon's strengths, which is bumping and making the other guy look good. The Miz hit a nice looking clothesline and a powerslam during this match, but couldn't put Shannon away. Match ends after Miz goes for his finisher, but Moore counters with a backslide for the upset victory. A short match, but everything was done well. I think that this is a good match, not an all-time classic, but good nonetheless. I'll give it a 2.80350 out of 5. Here, once again, is a video so you can see it.
Smackdown 25/4/08 The Miz vs Shannon Moore - MyVideo
Match 4: Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble (Smackdown 08/03/2007)
If this match were 10 minutes, it could have been pretty good, unfortunately, it was 3 and a half minutes, and most of that was Noble controlling Moore. Moore did hit a nice corkscrew moonsault press, but whatever momentum he gained was quickly squashed, as Noble hit a vicious looking jumping knee, and then put the Gutbuster on Moore for the three count. Afterwards, things got stupid as Hornswoggle came out to pester Noble. Match was too short to really accomplish anything, so I'll give it a 1.820 out of 5. You can give it whatever you want, as here's the video.
Shannon Moore Vs Jamie NOble
Uploaded by takerman.
So, what have we learned? Mainly, that Shannon Moore has been used as little more than a spare part over the years, and most of his matches in the big time are going to be short battles where his opponent is the one delivering the majority of the offense. Which makes sense because Moore's not the biggest guy around. Shannon Moore is good at what he does, but other than his unique look, his wrestling doesn't stand out too much. Yes, he can hit some high-flying moves, but mostly he's just a steady hand who won't take anything off the table, but won't put too much on the table either. It's surprising that TNA decided to put him in the X-Division Title Match with Doug Williams, but then again, TNA usually doesn't seem to know what they are doing and besides, it could be a very good match, if they just let the two men wrestle for 10-15 minutes. But enough about all of that, the challenge was to find a good Shannon Moore singles match (to be honest, I made it a singles match challenge, as Ben just said no 6 man tags where Moore's hardly in the ring or something like that). I might have done that, or I might not have. I think I did, but you might watch these matches and think they're all sorts of terrible, and that I have no idea what I'm talking about. If so, that's cool, let me know and I'll try again in the near future.
Well, thanks for reading. If you have any ideas for the Canon Review, then let me know either by leaving comments on the blog, or by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com. I leave you with Shannon Moore's last WWE theme music, which I'd say isn't good at all.
Monday, March 8, 2010
It's Time to talk TNA
I don't know if anybody's heard, but TNA is moving their tv show, Impact!, to Monday Nights starting tonight. In a futile attempt to re-start wrestling's famous Monday Night Wars, TNA has decided, what the hey, let's take on the WWE and their flagship show, Raw. Will I watch? No. But I do hope TNA succeeds, or at least does well enough to rattle the WWE some. After all, competition is good for business. I don't think TNA will succeed, but you never know. I want to like TNA, but they just make it so difficult, between their asinine booking and the belief that everybody that ever wrestled for the WWE or WCW should be instantly pushed over their home grown talent. TNA has shot themselves in the foot more than any other wrestling company out there. Every potential breakout star they cultivate, they find a way to screw it up. Whenever they should go one way, TNA usually goes the other way. I haven't watched a full TNA show in three years, partially because it was frustrating to watch, and partially because I really don't watch any current wrestling as a whole, for a myraid of reasons which I won't get into here.
However, since it's such a big day for TNA, I decided, what the heck, I'll watch a few TNA matches and do a review of them for this site. Hopefully there will be some good matches, and if they all suck, well, whatever doesn't kill me only makes be stronger. So win-win. Let's start the madness:
Match 1: Kurt Angle vs. Rhino, Final Resolution 2008 (Special Enforcer: Mick Foley)
They show a video package showing how the match was formed. See, Angle's group, the Main Event Mafia, put a beating on Rhino's friend Christian. Rhino wants revenge. Kurt Angle wants to wrestle Jeff Jarrett, but for some reason Jarrett won't wrestle him and Foley won't make the match. So the final result is Angle faces Rhino. If Angle wins, he gets to wrestle Jarrett at a later date. If Angle loses, he's fired. Well that hardly seems fair, now does it? Foley is here to make sure the Main Event Mafia doesn't interfere. So that's that. This match is rather boring, I must say. Angle hit a lot of different suplexes on Rhino that ultimately meant nothing. Angle put on his finisher, the Ankle Lock. Rhino lasted a full minute before countering out, which kind of killed off the move. Angle hit his other finisher, the Angle Slam, on Rhino, but Rhino kicked out at 2. So a mid-card wrestler can withstand both finishing moves of one of your top guys. That's smart. The best move of the match came when Rhino picked Angle up for a powerbomb, but instead of throwing him down, Rhino flipped him over his back so that Angle landed face-first on the top turnbuckle. Rhino went for his finisher, the Gore, about 6 times, but only hit it once, and that was on the referee. Once the ref goes down, Angle goes to get a chair, but is stopped by Foley. Rhino rolls up Angle for the 2 as Foley is now the official. Al Snow comes out for no particular reason, Mick Foley leans through the ropes to talk to him, but gets slapped by Al for his troubles. While Foley chases after Snow, Angle uses the chair on Rhino, than hits another Angle Slam. Foley gets back in and reluctantly delivers the three-count, giving Angle the victory and the opportunity to face Jeff Jarrett. Afterwards, Angle threatens his foes and drops an S-bomb. Good thing this is pay-per-view. Match wasn't terrible, but there was nothing that was too impressive, either. I give it a 2 out of 5.
Match 2: Jeff Hardy vs. Petey Williams, TNA Impact
Jeff Jarrett comes out with a ladder to do some commentary. Mike Tenay mentions that Jarrett and Hardy have an upcoming ladder match for the TNA Title, so that's why Jarrett has a ladder. Petey Williams comes out with Scott D'Amore. Jeff Hardy has a lame entrance song and seems to frothing at the mouth. But Jeff has to refused his rabies shot to get his hands on Petey. Match was about three minutes long, Hardy hit a couple of spots. Jarrett interferes, than AJ Styles interferes, doing his moonsault into reverse DDT maneuver on Petey Williams. Hardy gets the three count, and he and Styles head to the back triumphant. If these two were given 15 or 20 minutes, it could be a good match, or a huge trainwreck. As it is, it's just a match to set up future matches, nothing more. I'll say a 1.6830 out of 5, since everybody hit their moves.
Match 3: Raven vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Jarrett, NWA World Title Match
This match is for Jarrett's NWA Title. This match is from TNA's weekly pay-per-view era. There's also cagedancers, which is a little weird, but whatever. Jeff Jarrett has a bad titan tron, and an even worse shirt. If it were any tighter, Jeff Jarrett couldn't breathe. This is actually quite a good match, as everybody came in with their working boots on. Jarrett hit one of the best dropkicks I've ever seen on AJ early in the match. At first, everyone goes after everyone, but after Styles neutralizes Raven with a chair, Raven gets double teamed by his two opponents. That lasts until AJ guillotine leg drops Jarrett. Raven, now freed, becomes a House of Fire, battling his two opponents quite easily. He gives both men his trademark drop toe hold into a chair, and nearly gets the three on Styles before Jarrett breaks it up. After Styles gets knocked outside the ring, Raven gets Jarrett in the DDT position, wait Jarrett counters for a stroke, until Raven counters and hits the DDT on Jarrett. The referee goes to count, but Shane Douglas pulls Raven out of the ring to the shock of the announcers. He then beats Raven up and drags him out of the building, leaving us with Jeff and A.J. Styles nails Jarrett with the title belt, goes up top, and hits a D'Lo Brown style frog splash, Jarrett kicks out. Styles, charges, but Jarrett counters and throws Styles down HARD with an Alabama Slam type maneuver. Styles gets up, hist Jarrett with a sit out power bomb, but only gets two. Styles goes for the Styles clash, but Jarrett counters, holding Styles on his back and ramming him into the turnbuckles. Uh-oh, he rammed Styles into the ref. Jarrett goes for a superplex, but gets thrown off. AJ tries a springboard 450, but Jarrett gets the knees up. The crowd is on the edge of their seats. Vince Russo comes out with a guitar, fakes hitting Styles and than nails Jarrett. Styles hits the Styles Clash and gets the victory. Vince Russo comes in with the belt and acts like he won the belt. He's more excited than Styles. Good match, but all the outside interference just doesn't work for me, I'll give it a 2.9528429 out of 5.
Match 4: Don Harris vs. Malice, First Blood Match
I bet you didn't expect me to review this match, did ya? I bet most of you that watch wrestling either don't remember this match, or could never mentally conceive a match of such horror. Malice comes out with Father James Mitchell, while Don Harris is announced as TNA's Head of Security. A much better choice than Doug Dillinger, I must say. These two brawl all over the arena, hitting each other with chairs and ramming each other in guardrails all over the place. At one point, Harris hit Malice with a chair, and this one fan was just losing it over his excitment, just going crazy and acting like he was having convulsions or something. It was just a chair shot by Don freakin' Harris dude, calm down. Anyway, Mitchell comes out with the Arc of the Convenant, which is filled with the blood of an Asian cougar or something. Harris had the advantage for most of the match, until Malice's partner Slash comes in. He pulls out a shank, but Harris takes it away and jabs Slash with it instead. Mitchell interferes, but Harris boots him, spilling all of the cougar blood on Mitchell. Back in the ring, Harris hits Malice with a side slam, but all of a sudden starts bleeding. I don't know how it happened, but Malice wins. Harris gets beat down by Mitchell and his gang, and Mike Tenay is horrified by their actions. Since it was short, I'll give it a 1 out of 5.
Well, thanks for reading. If you have any ideas for future reviews or posts, or would like to contribute a review or post of your own, than e-mail me at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Reviews can be about pretty much anything, so let your imagination run wild, brother. I leave you with the gift of Jeff Hardy's TNA entrance theme. You will not like it.
However, since it's such a big day for TNA, I decided, what the heck, I'll watch a few TNA matches and do a review of them for this site. Hopefully there will be some good matches, and if they all suck, well, whatever doesn't kill me only makes be stronger. So win-win. Let's start the madness:
Match 1: Kurt Angle vs. Rhino, Final Resolution 2008 (Special Enforcer: Mick Foley)
They show a video package showing how the match was formed. See, Angle's group, the Main Event Mafia, put a beating on Rhino's friend Christian. Rhino wants revenge. Kurt Angle wants to wrestle Jeff Jarrett, but for some reason Jarrett won't wrestle him and Foley won't make the match. So the final result is Angle faces Rhino. If Angle wins, he gets to wrestle Jarrett at a later date. If Angle loses, he's fired. Well that hardly seems fair, now does it? Foley is here to make sure the Main Event Mafia doesn't interfere. So that's that. This match is rather boring, I must say. Angle hit a lot of different suplexes on Rhino that ultimately meant nothing. Angle put on his finisher, the Ankle Lock. Rhino lasted a full minute before countering out, which kind of killed off the move. Angle hit his other finisher, the Angle Slam, on Rhino, but Rhino kicked out at 2. So a mid-card wrestler can withstand both finishing moves of one of your top guys. That's smart. The best move of the match came when Rhino picked Angle up for a powerbomb, but instead of throwing him down, Rhino flipped him over his back so that Angle landed face-first on the top turnbuckle. Rhino went for his finisher, the Gore, about 6 times, but only hit it once, and that was on the referee. Once the ref goes down, Angle goes to get a chair, but is stopped by Foley. Rhino rolls up Angle for the 2 as Foley is now the official. Al Snow comes out for no particular reason, Mick Foley leans through the ropes to talk to him, but gets slapped by Al for his troubles. While Foley chases after Snow, Angle uses the chair on Rhino, than hits another Angle Slam. Foley gets back in and reluctantly delivers the three-count, giving Angle the victory and the opportunity to face Jeff Jarrett. Afterwards, Angle threatens his foes and drops an S-bomb. Good thing this is pay-per-view. Match wasn't terrible, but there was nothing that was too impressive, either. I give it a 2 out of 5.
Match 2: Jeff Hardy vs. Petey Williams, TNA Impact
Jeff Jarrett comes out with a ladder to do some commentary. Mike Tenay mentions that Jarrett and Hardy have an upcoming ladder match for the TNA Title, so that's why Jarrett has a ladder. Petey Williams comes out with Scott D'Amore. Jeff Hardy has a lame entrance song and seems to frothing at the mouth. But Jeff has to refused his rabies shot to get his hands on Petey. Match was about three minutes long, Hardy hit a couple of spots. Jarrett interferes, than AJ Styles interferes, doing his moonsault into reverse DDT maneuver on Petey Williams. Hardy gets the three count, and he and Styles head to the back triumphant. If these two were given 15 or 20 minutes, it could be a good match, or a huge trainwreck. As it is, it's just a match to set up future matches, nothing more. I'll say a 1.6830 out of 5, since everybody hit their moves.
Match 3: Raven vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Jarrett, NWA World Title Match
This match is for Jarrett's NWA Title. This match is from TNA's weekly pay-per-view era. There's also cagedancers, which is a little weird, but whatever. Jeff Jarrett has a bad titan tron, and an even worse shirt. If it were any tighter, Jeff Jarrett couldn't breathe. This is actually quite a good match, as everybody came in with their working boots on. Jarrett hit one of the best dropkicks I've ever seen on AJ early in the match. At first, everyone goes after everyone, but after Styles neutralizes Raven with a chair, Raven gets double teamed by his two opponents. That lasts until AJ guillotine leg drops Jarrett. Raven, now freed, becomes a House of Fire, battling his two opponents quite easily. He gives both men his trademark drop toe hold into a chair, and nearly gets the three on Styles before Jarrett breaks it up. After Styles gets knocked outside the ring, Raven gets Jarrett in the DDT position, wait Jarrett counters for a stroke, until Raven counters and hits the DDT on Jarrett. The referee goes to count, but Shane Douglas pulls Raven out of the ring to the shock of the announcers. He then beats Raven up and drags him out of the building, leaving us with Jeff and A.J. Styles nails Jarrett with the title belt, goes up top, and hits a D'Lo Brown style frog splash, Jarrett kicks out. Styles, charges, but Jarrett counters and throws Styles down HARD with an Alabama Slam type maneuver. Styles gets up, hist Jarrett with a sit out power bomb, but only gets two. Styles goes for the Styles clash, but Jarrett counters, holding Styles on his back and ramming him into the turnbuckles. Uh-oh, he rammed Styles into the ref. Jarrett goes for a superplex, but gets thrown off. AJ tries a springboard 450, but Jarrett gets the knees up. The crowd is on the edge of their seats. Vince Russo comes out with a guitar, fakes hitting Styles and than nails Jarrett. Styles hits the Styles Clash and gets the victory. Vince Russo comes in with the belt and acts like he won the belt. He's more excited than Styles. Good match, but all the outside interference just doesn't work for me, I'll give it a 2.9528429 out of 5.
Match 4: Don Harris vs. Malice, First Blood Match
I bet you didn't expect me to review this match, did ya? I bet most of you that watch wrestling either don't remember this match, or could never mentally conceive a match of such horror. Malice comes out with Father James Mitchell, while Don Harris is announced as TNA's Head of Security. A much better choice than Doug Dillinger, I must say. These two brawl all over the arena, hitting each other with chairs and ramming each other in guardrails all over the place. At one point, Harris hit Malice with a chair, and this one fan was just losing it over his excitment, just going crazy and acting like he was having convulsions or something. It was just a chair shot by Don freakin' Harris dude, calm down. Anyway, Mitchell comes out with the Arc of the Convenant, which is filled with the blood of an Asian cougar or something. Harris had the advantage for most of the match, until Malice's partner Slash comes in. He pulls out a shank, but Harris takes it away and jabs Slash with it instead. Mitchell interferes, but Harris boots him, spilling all of the cougar blood on Mitchell. Back in the ring, Harris hits Malice with a side slam, but all of a sudden starts bleeding. I don't know how it happened, but Malice wins. Harris gets beat down by Mitchell and his gang, and Mike Tenay is horrified by their actions. Since it was short, I'll give it a 1 out of 5.
Well, thanks for reading. If you have any ideas for future reviews or posts, or would like to contribute a review or post of your own, than e-mail me at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Reviews can be about pretty much anything, so let your imagination run wild, brother. I leave you with the gift of Jeff Hardy's TNA entrance theme. You will not like it.
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