Let's talk about Kurt Angle

Recently, a wrestling magazine out of the UK called Powerslam released it's annual top 50 wrestlers of the year list. Number one on that list is Kurt Angle, as you probably guessed by the title of this post. So, in tribute of this accomplishment, I have decided to watch a few videos on Kurt Angle and review them for your amusement. I will be choosing which videos to watch by searching the Google Video search engine, and picking videos with random numbers, so who the heck knows what I'll get. So, without further adieu, here's a look at a man that shares a birthday with me (albeit a few years apart), Kurt Angle.

Video 1: A Look at Kurt Angle Training

So, we all have wondered how an Olympic Gold Medalist who switched over to professional wrestling and became the most intense individual in a profession full of intense people trains. Well, it may have been just me. Actually, I was never terribly interested either, but this video released by TNA shows us just how Kurt Angle trains to get in shape to carry Mr. Anderson to a decent match. According to this video, all Kurt Angle does to train is lift weights, be it with his legs, arms, whatever. Most of the video is Angle talking about his decision to drop himself out of the top 10 rankings in TNA and beat every wrestler ranked 1-10 on the list in order to earn a World Title match. I'm going to assume that he eventually realized this goal, or maybe he didn't. It is kind of odd to see Angle with some stubble on his face, as I'm more used to seeing him clean shaven. Anyway, I guess this wasn't that bad, so the video gets a 2 out of 5.



Video 2: WWE Kurt Angle Moonsaults From Cage

This video is from 2001, and features Kurt Angle in a commercial selling insurance. No, not really. As the title suggests, Kurt Angle does a moonsault off a cage in a match against Chris Benoit. He ends up missing Benoit and bouncing hard off the ground, which isn't surprising considering he did a backflip from about 12 feet high and landed straight on his torso. Even though it was a planned spot, that still probably didn't feel good. I'll give the video a 2.5 out of 5, because at least it was what it said it was.


WWE  Kurt Angle  Moonsaults From Cage
Uploaded by johncena77. - More professional, college and classic sports videos.

Video 3: TNA: Kurt Angle Threatens Jeff Jarrett 

Yep, it's just as it says, Kurt Angle threatens Jeff Jarrett. This video is from late in 2008, just before TNA Final Resolution 2008. At that show, Kurt Angle is to face Rhino with the stipulation being that if Angle wins, he gets a match with Jarrett, whom he lost to at the previous TNA pay-per-view. If Angle loses, he leaves TNA for good. Obviously, Angle won in a match that I actually reviewed earlier this year. So Angle calls Jarrett out, and tells him to celebrate, because Jarrett's celebrating somehow makes Angle stronger. Angle declares that he's more focused on beating Jarrett then he was winning the Gold Medal at the 1996 Olympics, which either means that he really hates Jeff Jarrett or his priorities are out of whack. Or maybe Angle just lacks perspective. Angle then mentions the issues, both in the ring and out, that he and Jarrett have had since Angle arrived on the scene in 2006. Of course, now they probably have more issues than ever since Jarrett is now married to Angle's ex wife, but that's neither here nor there. Jarrett looks bemused for the first few minutes of Angle's diatribe, until Angle decides to bring up Jarrett's family. That set off Jarrett to the point where now he stood on the entrance ramp with an angered look in his eyes. Angle concludes that stating that he will take Jarrett's company and family away from him because he's Kurt by God Angle, and Jarrett responds that the only way Angle will accomplish that is "over my dead body". Well, I'm sure that's pretty much what Angle stated he was going to set out and do, but whatever. The promo was ok, although it's funny that TNA was building to an Angle-Rhino match when Rhino was hardly mentioned. I'll give it a 2.15 out of 5.

 


Video 4: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle and Tyson Tomko, Handicap Match

All right, finally a match. This match is from the September 12, 2005 edition of WWE Raw, and Eric Bischoff is out on the ramp to root on Tomko and Angle. Tomko gets the advantage for his team by attacking Cena from behind. Cena gets out of a back suplex and takes down Tomko with punches. Cena off the rope, but Angle gets a shot in from the apron, casuing Jim Ross to react as if Angle sodomized Cena. Tag to Angle, but Cena gets the advantage after a raised boot from the corner, and gets a two count after a side slam. Angle rakes the eyes and tags Tomko, but Cena's vision clears up in time to hit a cross body on Tomko out of the Irish Whip and follow up with a Bodyslam. Cena fights both men off for a while, knocking Angle off the apron, battling with Tomko, then baseball sliding into Angle, which knocks Kurt back against the barricade. Finally, Tomko hits Cena with a crummy looking big boot and Super Cena is down. Cena is able to kick out at one, but all men are down on the mat as we head to commercial.

Back to the action, Angle's stomping away on Cena, and for some reason they show a replay of Tomko's awful boot. Cena goes behind out of a side headlock and hits a back suplex on Angle, and the ref starts to count both men down. Angle's up first and tags in Tomko. Tomko has no success against Cena, as he takes a series of punches and clotheslines before Cena catches him with his awful arm drag after Tomko rebounds from the Irish Whip. Cena's fired up, which can mean only one thing, Oh, Here Go Hell Come. Cena delivers a suplex to Tomko and catches Angle with a Spinebuster. Cena sets up Tomko for the FU, but Angle German Suplexes Cena while he's holding Tomko in the air, and all three men come crashing down to the mat. Angle with another German Suplex, but Cena is able to counter out of the third. Tomko goes for the big boot, but Cena ducks and hits Angle instead. Cena finishes Tomko off after a shoulder block and the FU, and gets the victory. This match felt as if they crammed 10 minutes worth of stuff into a five minute match, as nobody sold anything for more than three seconds. I'd give it a 1.65 out of 5.





Video 5: Kurt Angle VS The Rock VS Stone Cold VS The Undertaker VS Triple H VS Rikishi Hell In A Cell

Oh Here go Hell in a Cell Come, as this is the main event from WWF Armageddon 2000 and is for Angle's World Heavyweight Title. Everybody's facing off against everybody as Kurt Angle and the Undertaker are the first to actually wrestle in the ring. Undertaker gets a two count after a big punch, while The Rock tries to choke Rikishi with a cord on the outside of the ring. Austin slams Triple-H against the cage a couple of times, while the Rock and Rikishi take their turn in the ring. Rikishi counters the Rock's series of punches, but The Rock rebounds with a flying clothesline after an Irish Whip. They leave, while Austin and Triple-H enter the ring to do a sequence that culminates with an Austin Thesz press into punches, followed by a front elbow drop. That gets a two count, and Austin gets another two count after setting Triple H up against the second rope and doing a rope straddle on his back. Triple-H catches Austin with a high knee, then drags Austin to slam his knee against the ring post before they leave and the Rock and Angle come in. Rock gets a two count after a Samoan drop. Now everybody's brawling on the outside, with Triple-H suplexing Austin on the outside mat. The Rock gets slinged into the cage by Rikishi, but Rikishi gets caught with a Kurt Angle baseball slide from the ring. Austin and Undertaker team up on Triple-H, and everyone's just sort of mindlessly brawling at this point. Triple-H becomes the first man to bleed after Austin rakes his head against the cage. Austin then walks all around the ring, raking HHH's face against the cage as he goes before finally stopping and slamming HHH against the cell wall. Austin throws HHH in the ring and goes to enter himself, only to get caught with a big leg drop from Rikishi on the back of his head. Rikishi and Triple-H seem to be an alliance, but Triple H changes that with a Pedigree on Rikishi, and only a last-second save by The Rock keeps The Game from winning the match. Angle saves Triple-H from losing to a DDT from the Rock, and then Olympic Slams the Rock, only for Austin to break up the count. Austin with the Stone Cold Stunner on Angle, but the Undertaker breaks up the cover and chokeslams Austin, only for Triple-H to pull Taker out of the ring. Taker responds by slamming Triple H against the cage a few time while the other men are down in the ring. Austin hits both Rikishi and the Undertaker with clothelines, and reverses a Rikishi Irish Whip with a Thesz Press and punches combo. All of a sudden, here comes Vince McMahon on the back of a flatbed truck.

Vince hooks the door to the back of the truck, and the truck is able to break the door off with ease. Vince then tells the crew of the truck to hook the chains up to the cell and take it down, which is probably not safe for the wrestlers inside. Here come Commissioner Mick Foley, who enforces the rules by force with punches to stooges Patterson and Brisco, before having Vince escorted out by security. Triple-H exits the cell door first, and Stone Cold follows, taking Triple-H down with a clothesline from behind. Austin slams Triple H onto the hood of a conveniently placed clunker. I don't know why there are a few junk cars next to the entrance ramp, but since they're here, why not use them? Austin uses a camera to smash Triple-H in the gut with, while everybody else have found their way to the car lot. Austin and Triple-H brawl around the construction truck, and eventually Triple-H slams Austin face first through a window. That makes Austin bleeder number two. Meanwhile, The Rock attempts to Rock Bottom HHH on the top of a car, but a Triple-H low blow puts a stop to that. Pedigree by Triple-H on the Rock, on the top of a car. Now The Rock is bleeding, meanwhile, Rikishi tries to brain Austin with a barrel, but Austin is able to kick Rikishi in the gut to bring a stop to that. Undertaker slams Angle on the hood of a car, and I believe Angle has a cut on his arm, but I'm not sure. Austin catapults Triple-H onto a car hood, and then tries to smush Triple-H with a barrel, but misses. Meanwhile, Undertaker and Angle are now around the announcer's table, and the Undertaker bonks Kurt on the headwith a microphone. While the others brawl, Angle somehow gets the advantage and bashes the Undertaker's head in with a chair. Now the Undertaker's busted open, and Triple-H has decided to climb the cage wall and go on the roof, with Austin right behind him. The two start brawling on the cage, with Triple-H teasing a fall off the cage, but eventually they move towards the middle and now Angle and the Undertaker have joined in the fun on the roof. Austin with an awkward looking Stunner on the roof. Angle becomes the fifth man to bleed from the forehead after The Undertaker bashes his head against a support beam on the roof of the cell.


Triple-H decides that it would be a good idea to climb down, and Austin follows. Rikihsi and The Rock are now on the roof, while a timekeeper throws The Undertaker a chair, and Taker uses it to bash Angle in the head. The Rock has decided to leave while Rikishi takes the chair to slug Taker. While Rikishi is busy with Undertaker, Angle decides that now would be a good time to head to solid ground. Kishi and Undertaker brawl on the cell, and get perilously close to the edge. Oh No, Taker chokeslams Rikishi off the cage roof into the back of the previously introduced flatbed truck, leaving Rikishi in a mess of wood chips and other stuff. The crowd goes into a frenzy as Rock and Stone Cold square off with each other, ending in a Rock Spinebuster. Rock goes for the People's Elbow, but Triple-H puts an end to that. The Rock knocks Triple-H out of the ring, then counters an Angle offensive attempt with a Rock Bottom. Cover, but Austin breaks it up before three. Both Austin and Rock struggle to their feet, and Austin hits the Stunner on The Rock, allowing The Rock to do his mega sell of that maneuver. Triple-H catches Austin before he can cover The Rock, and hits the neckbreaker on Stone Cold. That allows Kurt to roll over and drape his arm over The Rock, and get the three count to retain the title. Post match, Austin sends a message to Angle with a Stone Cold Stunner. Well, this was a mess of a match, but at least it was an entertaining one. I'll give it a 3.25 out of 5.




Well, thanks for reading The Canon Review's look at Kurt Angle, and if you have any comments about this or previous posts, or ideas for future reviews or posts, than share them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Canon Wrestling Review: WCW Monday Nitro: April 17, 2000

This post comes thanks to one of the new features on blogspot, the stats menu. One of things that you can do with the stats feature is find out which search terms led a viewer to your blog. Well, according to the amount of people who have ended up here searching for the Wendy's Triple Baconator, I take it that a lot of people are hungry. Anyway, I saw that some reader ended up on the Canon Review because they searched for WCW Monday Nitro: April 17, 2000. So obviously, somebody wants more information about that particular show, so I figured, why not watch this here episode of Nitro and see how it is. Since it takes place during the Bischoff-Russo era, I have a strong feeling that it will suck, but I've been surprised before.

- It's the night after Spring Stampede 2000, and as such we get a minute and a half of still shots detailing last night's show. A lot of crap happened and Mancow wrestled Jimmy Hart, that's all I remember from that show. Your idiots in the booth tonight are Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, and Mark Madden. A whole bunch of confetti and red balloons drop from the ceiling, and security guards are shown blocking the main entrance in order to block the Millionaire's Club  from entering. Great, take the only people in the company that can draw off the show. Good strategy. Anyway, here comes Russo with his New Blood champions, Chris Candido (Cruiserweight Champion), Buff Bagwell, Shane Douglas (Tag Team Champs), and Scott Steiner (United States Champion). Russo gets on the mic, tells Jim Ross to kiss his ass, than introduces the new World Champion Jeff Jarrett, who also wishes for JR to smooch his backside. Jarrett expresses anger at not being asked to star in Ready To Rumble, which wouldn't make any sense since Jarrett was employed elsewhere at the time the movie was filming, than challenges Diamond Dallas Page to a Triple Cage Match straight out of the movie, which I'm sure everyone has seen at least 25 times, as it's just that great. Anyway, Eric Bischoff comes out with DDP's wife Kimberly, and the two go on to explain why Kimberly bashed her husband in the head with a guitar last night. Apparently, Kim is sick of being in DDP's shadow, and states that she's the real star of the Page family. Russo keeps talking while we cut to the parking lot, where DDP is calmly told that he's not allowed in the building tonight. DDP does not respond kindly to this, knocking out the unarmed security guards and heads to the ring. There's a riot squad around the ring, but they let DDP in without resistance. DDP gets a couple of shots in before the 5-on-1 advantage gets the best of him. Here comes the riot squad, and they start beating up the New Blood with nightsticks. They take off their helmets, and holy moly, it's Ric Flair, Sting, and Lex Luger of the Millionaire's Club! Who saw that coming? I think everyone did. Not the worst way to start, but it took a little too long to get going.

- To the back, where Bischoff chews out a group of New Blood wrestlers for not helping out earlier. Booker T takes exception, and the two exchange words before Booker and the rest leave in a huff. Hulk Hogan calls up Bischoff, and threatens him with a beating in five minutes. Shawn "The Perfect One" Stasiak and Curt Hennig wrestle each other in the first match of the evening. Ms. Hancock is out, for reasons unknown. Hennig hip tosses Stasiak a couple of times, but Stasiak uses punches and two body slams to take advantage. Hennig rolls out, Stasiak gets too close and Hennig pulls him out of the ring. Hennig chops Stasiak and bounces him against the guardrail and the announce table. Hennig sees Mark Madden, and does what any reasonable man would do and throws a cup of water in Madden's face. Unfortunately, the water does not short out Madden's mic, so I still have to hear him talk. Back in, Hennig Cartwheels out of an Irish whip! but Stasiak grounds Hennig with a clothesline. Stasiak uses a suplex to get a 2 count on Hennig, and goes to Irish whip Hennig, but that gets reversed and Stasiak ends up eating a kneelift for his troubles. Hennig with a running clothesline that catches both Stasiak and the referee. Perfectplex from Hennig, but there's no referee. While Hennig gets up to check on the ref, Stasiak digs out some brass knuckles out of his kneepad, and uses them to knock out Hennig. A Perfect Plant (kind of like an F-5, only Stasiak falls forward on his face instead of back) finishes Hennig off, and Stasiak gets the upset victory. Useless match that had no heat and did nothing for anybody. 1 out of 5.

- To the outside, where Hulk Hogan is surrounded by policemen blocking him from the building. Hogan gives the cops a Super Mega Stare, and the cops meekly back down for fear of suffering the wrath of Hulkamania. Apparently, Rockford, Illinois has the wimpiest police force in the United States. Hogan enters the building, seems to wander around as if he doesn't know where the entrance is, and the camera cuts to Stasiak stomping away on Hennig. Hogan, having found the correct way to go finally, comes out, saves Hennig from Stasiak's stomps and throws Stasiak out of the ring, and then we break for commercial.

- Back in the ring, Hogan has a microphone. He goes on about how he hasn't lost a step and is still the top dog and this and that, and challenges anyone in the back that wants to take his spot to come on down and get some. He then starts using his real name while running down Bischoff and Russo, so you know it's a SHOOT~! Hogan, or Terry Bollea as it were, claims that he has more heart than any other wrestler in the back. Well, that's sure to make him some friends. Hogan calls out Kidman, but Kidman shows up on the bigscreen and challenges Hogan to come back to the parking lot for a fight. Hogan rushes out, but he doesn't see Eric Bischoff and the notorious white Hummer. Uh oh.

- Mean Gene is with Jeff Jarrett, who has decided to put an open contract out, and the first New Blood member to sign it gets a shot at his World Title tonight. Hopefully it will be Shannon Moore. Jarrett then concludes the interview by calling Mean Gene a "Jurassic Slapass". Hey, that's my nickname! To the ring, where the Wall is going to wrestle Terry Funk for the WCW Hardcore Title. Yes, Bischoff and Russo's master plan to get the Hardcore Title is to send out The Wall. Funk slams a chair against the Wall's head to begin the match. Wall shrugs it off and throws Funk over the top rope out of the ring. Wall grabs the chair and heads to the outside, but takes a low blow. Funk uses the chair across the Wall's back, and climbs to the top rope. Moonsault press by Funk onto Wall, but that move didn't go quite as planned as Funk nearly lands on his on the outside. Ouch. Wall's up first and delivers a big boot to Funk. The two get on the announce table, and Wall piledrives Funk on the table, but it doesn't give at all and the two just fall off the table. Wall drags Funk around the outside, throwing him against one guardrail and slamming another guardrail against him. Further back, Wall finds a round cage, and uses it to slam the door on Funk's head a couple of times. Wall seems to be in control, until a bunch of tables mysteriously fall on Wall and knock him out. Funk puts a table on the Wall, double foot stomps through it, and gets the three count. A somewhat entertaining spectacle that was ruined by a crappy ending. I'll give it a 1.4 out of 5.

- To the back where Kronick demands a shot at the World Tag Team Titles tonight, but Russo denies them. Meanwhile, somebody signs Jarrett's contract, and when Jarrett sees who it is, he's not happy about it at all. Who is the mystery opponent? I bet it's The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea. Mean Gene is talking with DDP, who promises to gain revenge on Eric Bischoff for stealing his wife and will leave Mike Awesome laying tonight.

- Bob Probert's in the crowd tonight, watching the Mamalukes (Johnny the Bull and Big Vito) come out. In the back, Kronick is beating up the Harris Brothers, who were supposed to wrestle the Mamalukes but now they can't. What a shame, Kronick comes out instead and brawls with the Mamalukes. Full Nelson slam by Adams on Vito. Johnny the Bull does a flat-footed jump from the ring to the top rope, turns around and jumps back down, but eats a Bryan Clark chokeslam for his efforts. An F-5 from Adams onto Vito, and both Mamalukes end up taking Kronick's High Times finisher (double choke slam) before Adams gets the mic. He states that whoever faces them will end up in chronic pain and living a chronic nightmare, and Russo better give them a title shot or he'll find out what a chronic nightmare entails for himself.

- Vampiro comes out and grabs a mic. He says that Sting knows nothing about pain and that last night at Spring Stampede (where he came out from under the ring and dragged Sting down with him to presumably issue a beating) was only the beginning. At Slamboree, Vampiro promises to devour Sting. That starts Sting's music in the lights go out. The lights come back on just as Sting finishes his descent from the ceiling. Sting beats on Vampiro with his bat for a while, giving Vampiro a lesson in pain, as Sting put it. Sting finishes off with the Scorpion Death Drop to leave Vampiro laying in the middle of the ring. Sting proclaims WCW is his turf before leaving once again. Well, that made Vampiro look like a chump, building very little interest in their match at Slamboree since Sting just got his revenge right then.

- Hogan is still looking for Kidman, and asks some kids if they know where he is. Meanwhile, Jarrett moans and groans to Russo about his title match tonight against the mystery opponent. I bet it's Wade Barrett. DDP comes out as a fan holds up his book, Positively Page, which had recently come out around this time. His opponent is Mike Awesome, and the two waste no time as Page connects with a tornado clothesline and starts beating on Awesome in the corner. Irish Whip to the corner, but Awesome is able to springboard off the second turnbuckle with a back elbow, which almost gets a three count. A big splash from Awesome also gets 2. Irish Whip by Awesome, but Page is able to deliver a floatover DDT which also gets a two count. The two exchange clotheslines, and Page catches Awesome with a Uranage slam for a 2 count. Page eats a back elbow and goes to the outside, allowing Awesome to deliver a springboard lariat to the floor. Man, Awesome went a long way on that move. Awesome tries to give Page a standing splash against a guardrail, but Page moves and slams Awesome in the back with a chair. The announcers take this time to commentate about WCW's new lax disqualification rules. Back in. Page charges in with a chair, but Awesome slams his foot into the chair and into Page's face. A forearm to the chair in front of DDP's head sends Page to the outside. Chris Kanyon runs in, which gets a disqualifaction only half a minute after they talked about the new WCW's policy of letting fights go on. Kanyon takes a German suplex for his efforts, and Awesome goes to get a table. Kevin Nash's music hits, and Awesome waits for him to come to the ring. Instead Nash comes out of the crowd and attacks him from behind, before powerbombing Awesome through the table. Match was rushed, but if these two had 10 minutes they might of had a good match. Instead I'll give it a 1.5 out of 5.

- Tank Abbott is here, hopefully to beat up on Mark Madden again. Mean Gene is talking with the Tag Team champs, Shane Douglas and Buff Bagwell. What an odd combination. Bagwell and Douglas talk about their opponents at Slamboree, which are Lex Luger and Ric Flair, respectively. Douglas then calls Luger a jackass and challenges him to a match tonight, which Luger accepts, provided Vince Russo does not interfere. Tank Abbott is coming to the ring, and Mark Madden is throwing a fit for fear of taking another Tank beating. Abbott puts Madden in his place by yelling "Don't even look at me, fat ass". Ha, of all the wrestlers in the world, Tank Abbott is one of them. Tank goes on to explain that once again, until Goldberg comes back to face him, he will beat up another innocent person. This week's victim was to be part owner of the Chicago Blackhawks Bruce MacArthur, but before Tank could get started, Blackhawks' tough guy Bob Probert (perhaps the best fighter in NHL history) leaped over the rail and saved his boss. Security came out to break the two apart before anything could happen. Such a shame, because it would have been interesting to see those two go at it.

- Hogan asks Terry Taylor, who just arrived about 90 minutes into the show, where Kidman is. Taylor leads Hogan in Kidman's direction, and the fight may finally happen soon. Jarrett is informed by Russo that his mystery opponent still wants the match tonight, which greatly displeases Jarrett to the point where he calls Russo J.J. Dillion. Well, obviously that means that Jarrett's opponent will be Ole Anderson. Lex and Shane Douglas are out to have their match. Luger starts by punching Shane, and than spends the next minute or so using kicks, punches, and turnbuckle smashes all over Douglas, making the Franchise look like a jobber. Douglas finally gets a Russian legsweep and chokes Luger with a piece of tape. Irish Whip into the corner by Douglas, he charges, only to eat a boot to the face. Luger with a series of clotheslines, which brings out Buff, Buff comes out with his music and pyro going off during the middle of the match, distracting Luger and allowing Douglas to take advantage. Luger ducks a clotheslines and runs off the ropes, only for Bagwell to grab his foot. Luger drags Bagwell to the apron, but a low blow sends Luger down. While Bagwell preoccupies himself with Luger's manager Miss Elizabeth, Douglas whips Luger into the guardrail, near a fan with a Sting mask. The fan attacks Douglas with a bat, and reveals himself to be Ric Flair. The two go to beat on Shane inside the ring, and the ref calls for the bell. Russo comes out to drag off Douglas, and the three go to the back arguing about something. You know, for a show that is promising the promotion of the young guys, the young guys are sure taking a butt-whooping on this show. This was no different. I'll give it a 0.6 out of 5 and hopefully I'll forget that I ever watched this match.

- Hogan has finally found Kidman, after 1 hour of looking for him. He starts kicking Kidman's butt before Torrie hits him with a 2 x 4. That doesn't faze Hogan, so he grabs Torrie by the throat and backs her up against a post before Kidman makes the save. Kidman gets two punches on Hogan before Hogan just annihilates Kidman, throwing him against the wall and a plastic cart a few times before yelling that he will kill Kidman. Bischoff is seen hiding in the corner while Hogan picks up Kidman and throws him into a dumpster. Hogan sees Bischoff and goes after him. Bischoff goes in the Hummer, but it won't start, so he takes off up the ramp and out of the parking garage. Hogan decides to get in the Hummer and remarkably, it starts right back up. The hell? He then proceeds to ram the dumpster containing Kidman with the Hummer three times, which is probably illegal in most states. Hogan takes off in the Hummer up the ramp, presumably to commit vehicular homicide on Eric Bischoff. God, this is stupid. Kidman is then rescued from the dumpster and put on a stretcher by medical personnel. 

- Jarrett comes out to wrestle the mystery opponent. That man could be none other than Josh Hamilton. Oh wait, it's Scott Steiner, accompanied to the ring by three of his 'freaks', I suppose. The match starts, and Steiner goes to work on Jarrett in the corner. A clothesline and elbow drop follows by Big Poppa Pump, and Steiner then slams Jarrett with a gorilla press drop. After Steiner whips Jarrett into the corner, Jarrett gets the boots up into a charging Steiner, and starts stomping away at his opponent. Cross body block from the top by Jarrett, that gets a two count. He follows up with a dropkick, but Steiner reverses an Irish Whip and then catches Jarrett on his shoulder as Jarrett leaps in an attempt to dodge Steiner. Slam into the corner by Steiner, followed by a choke while Jarrett's in the Tree of Woe. Belly-to-Belly gets two for Steiner, and after the two exchange low blows, Steiner gets the advantage and puts Jarrett in the Steiner Recliner. Out comes Booker T, who scissor kicks Steiner, drawing the DQ and saving Jarrett's title in the process. Booker grabs Jarrett and says, "you're welcome, punk". That makes for the third DQ of the night, when the announcers had been talking all night about how WCW is going to let their wrestlers fight. Match wasn't long enough to mean anything and wasn't all that good anyways. I'll give it a 1.2 out of 5.

- Hogan's in the back with a pipe, he finally finds Bischoff, and Bischoff takes off running all the way to the ring, Hogan backs up Bischoff in the corner and starts threatening him, when Bret Hart comes out with a chair. Hart swings the chair, but the show goes off the air before we see who he blasts with the chair. Hopefully it's both of them.

This show was 31 flavors of suck. The matches didn't go very long, the interviews tended to drag, and their was way too much Hogan walking around cursing backstage. Plus the show did nothing for the New Blood except make them look like chumps, especially Kidman and Vampiro. This was just one bad wrestling show. I'll give it a 1.8 out of 10, and I recommend nobody go back and watch this tripe. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for blog posts or reviews, or thoughts about this post, let me know about them either by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com or by leaving a comment.


Kidman & Hulk Hogan Brawl 17.4.00
Uploaded by Filthy_Animals. - Check out more sports and extreme sports videos.

It's Time to talk TNA

I don't know if anybody's heard, but TNA is moving their tv show, Impact!, to Monday Nights starting tonight. In a futile attempt to re-start wrestling's famous Monday Night Wars, TNA has decided, what the hey, let's take on the WWE and their flagship show, Raw. Will I watch? No. But I do hope TNA succeeds, or at least does well enough to rattle the WWE some. After all, competition is good for business. I don't think TNA will succeed, but you never know. I want to like TNA, but they just make it so difficult, between their asinine booking and the belief that everybody that ever wrestled for the WWE or WCW should be instantly pushed over their home grown talent. TNA has shot themselves in the foot more than any other wrestling company out there. Every potential breakout star they cultivate, they find a way to screw it up. Whenever they should go one way, TNA usually goes the other way. I haven't watched a full TNA show in three years, partially because it was frustrating to watch, and partially because I really don't watch any current wrestling as a whole, for a myraid of reasons which I won't get into here.

However, since it's such a big day for TNA, I decided, what the heck, I'll watch a few TNA matches and do a review of them for this site. Hopefully there will be some good matches, and if they all suck, well, whatever doesn't kill me only makes be stronger. So win-win. Let's start the madness:

Match 1: Kurt Angle vs. Rhino, Final Resolution 2008 (Special Enforcer: Mick Foley)

They show a video package showing how the match was formed. See, Angle's group, the Main Event Mafia, put a beating on Rhino's friend Christian. Rhino wants revenge. Kurt Angle wants to wrestle Jeff Jarrett, but for some reason Jarrett won't wrestle him and Foley won't make the match. So the final result is Angle faces Rhino. If Angle wins, he gets to wrestle Jarrett at a later date. If Angle loses, he's fired. Well that hardly seems fair, now does it? Foley is here to make sure the Main Event Mafia doesn't interfere. So that's that. This match is rather boring, I must say. Angle hit a lot of different suplexes on Rhino that ultimately meant nothing. Angle put on his finisher, the Ankle Lock. Rhino lasted a full minute before countering out, which kind of killed off the move. Angle hit his other finisher, the Angle Slam, on Rhino, but Rhino kicked out at 2. So a mid-card wrestler can withstand both finishing moves of one of your top guys. That's smart. The best move of the match came when Rhino picked Angle up for a powerbomb, but instead of throwing him down, Rhino flipped him over his back so that Angle landed face-first on the top turnbuckle. Rhino went for his finisher, the Gore, about 6 times, but only hit it once, and that was on the referee. Once the ref goes down, Angle goes to get a chair, but is stopped by Foley. Rhino rolls up Angle for the 2 as Foley is now the official. Al Snow comes out for no particular reason, Mick Foley leans through the ropes to talk to him, but gets slapped by Al for his troubles. While Foley chases after Snow, Angle uses the chair on Rhino, than hits another Angle Slam. Foley gets back in and reluctantly delivers the three-count, giving Angle the victory and the opportunity to face Jeff Jarrett. Afterwards, Angle threatens his foes and drops an S-bomb. Good thing this is pay-per-view. Match wasn't terrible, but there was nothing that was too impressive, either. I give it a 2 out of 5.

Match 2: Jeff Hardy vs. Petey Williams, TNA Impact

Jeff Jarrett comes out with a ladder to do some commentary. Mike Tenay mentions that Jarrett and Hardy have an upcoming ladder match for the TNA Title, so that's why Jarrett has a ladder. Petey Williams comes out with Scott D'Amore. Jeff Hardy has a lame entrance song and seems to frothing at the mouth. But Jeff has to refused his rabies shot to get his hands on Petey. Match was about three minutes long, Hardy hit a couple of spots. Jarrett interferes, than AJ Styles interferes, doing his moonsault into reverse DDT maneuver on Petey Williams. Hardy gets the three count, and he and Styles head to the back triumphant. If these two were given 15 or 20 minutes, it could be a good match, or a huge trainwreck. As it is, it's just a match to set up future matches, nothing more. I'll say a 1.6830 out of 5, since everybody hit their moves.

Match 3: Raven vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Jarrett, NWA World Title Match

This match is for Jarrett's NWA Title. This match is from TNA's weekly pay-per-view era. There's also cagedancers, which is a little weird, but whatever. Jeff Jarrett has a bad titan tron, and an even worse shirt. If it were any tighter, Jeff Jarrett couldn't breathe. This is actually quite a good match, as everybody came in with their working boots on. Jarrett hit one of the best dropkicks I've ever seen on AJ early in the match. At first, everyone goes after everyone, but after Styles neutralizes Raven with a chair, Raven gets double teamed by his two opponents. That lasts until AJ guillotine leg drops Jarrett. Raven, now freed, becomes a House of Fire, battling his two opponents quite easily. He gives both men his trademark drop toe hold into a chair, and nearly gets the three on Styles before Jarrett breaks it up. After Styles gets knocked outside the ring, Raven gets Jarrett in the DDT position, wait Jarrett counters for a stroke, until Raven counters and hits the DDT on Jarrett. The referee goes to count, but Shane Douglas pulls Raven out of the ring to the shock of the announcers. He then beats Raven up and drags him out of the building, leaving us with Jeff and A.J. Styles nails Jarrett with the title belt, goes up top, and hits a D'Lo Brown style frog splash, Jarrett kicks out. Styles, charges, but Jarrett counters and throws Styles down HARD with an Alabama Slam type maneuver.  Styles gets up, hist Jarrett with a sit out power bomb, but only gets two. Styles goes for the Styles clash, but Jarrett counters, holding Styles on his back and ramming him into the turnbuckles. Uh-oh, he rammed Styles into the ref. Jarrett goes for a superplex, but gets thrown off. AJ tries a springboard 450, but Jarrett gets the knees up. The crowd is on the edge of their seats. Vince Russo comes out with a guitar, fakes hitting Styles and than nails Jarrett. Styles hits the Styles Clash and gets the victory. Vince Russo comes in with the belt and acts like he won the belt. He's more excited than Styles. Good match, but all the outside interference just doesn't work for me, I'll give it a 2.9528429 out of 5.

Match 4: Don Harris vs. Malice, First Blood Match

I bet you didn't expect me to review this match, did ya? I bet most of you that watch wrestling either don't remember this match, or could never mentally conceive a match of such horror. Malice comes out with Father James Mitchell, while Don Harris is announced as TNA's Head of Security. A much better choice than Doug Dillinger, I must say. These two brawl all over the arena, hitting each other with chairs and ramming each other in guardrails all over the place. At one point, Harris hit Malice with a chair, and this one fan  was just losing it over his excitment, just going crazy and acting like he was having convulsions or something. It was just a chair shot by Don freakin' Harris dude, calm down. Anyway, Mitchell comes out with the Arc of the Convenant, which is filled with the blood of an Asian cougar or something. Harris had the advantage for most of the match, until Malice's partner Slash comes in. He pulls out a shank, but Harris takes it away and jabs Slash with it instead. Mitchell interferes, but Harris boots him, spilling all of the cougar blood on Mitchell. Back in the ring, Harris hits Malice with a side slam, but all of a sudden starts bleeding. I don't know how it happened, but Malice wins. Harris gets beat down by Mitchell and his gang, and Mike Tenay is horrified by their actions. Since it was short, I'll give it a 1 out of 5.

Well, thanks for reading. If you have any ideas for future reviews or posts, or would like to contribute a review or post of your own, than e-mail me at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Reviews can be about pretty much anything, so let your imagination run wild, brother. I leave you with the gift of Jeff Hardy's TNA entrance theme. You will not like it.