Let's Talk About Lance Storm

Well, it's been a while since I've done a wrestling review (or any review, for that matter), so I decided that today I'd watch a few matches and review them right here. So, here's a post about the pride and joy of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, none other than Lance Storm. Lance Storm is a wrestler that I always thought was better in theory than in execution. By that I mean Storm was a guy that knew all the holds, was very athletic, could cut a decent promo and was versatile in many different styles. But for whatever reason, when I watched Lance Storm, he didn't come across as a guy that was a top-notch talent, despite what his reputation on the internet might have been. I mean, it wasn't like he was terrible or anything, but he was rather forgettable. But maybe I'm wrong and I should have been on the Lance Storm bandwagon years ago, so let's begin this review with Storm getting a shot at the WCW Title.

Match 1: Lance Storm vs. The Rock, Monday Night Raw, August 20, 2001

This match took place the night after Summerslam and is the first WCW Title defense for The Rock, who had won the title the previous night. Earlier this episode, Lance Storm interrupted a Rock interview and kicked a little person impersonating Booker T in the face. Lance tries to attack early, but that doesn't work and Rock gets a two count after a Samoan Drop. The two do an exchange of missed clotheslines, then Storm hits a superkick that sends The Rock flying out of the ring. Storm moves quickly to roll The Rock back in and goes for the cover, but Rock kicks out at two. They exchange some blows, then Storm comes off the top with a clothesline that gets another two count. Storm stomps away on The Rock, then foolishly charges into a Rock spinebuster. Man, this match feels rushed. Rock hits his trademark punch combination, then follows with a DDT for a two count. The two brawl in the corner for a few seconds, then Rock hits the Rock Bottom for the three count. Post match, Rock brings the little Booker T impersonator out, who can barely climb up the stairs. Little Booker tries a People's Elbow, but he trips over Storm. So Storm gets back up, Rock spinebusts him back down, and on the second try Booker gets it as right as he was going to get it, which is still subpar even for a midget. Then Little Booker does a Spinarooni and everyone is happy. Well, not me. Match was way too short and the post-match stuff was embarrassing. I'd give it a 0.8 out of 5.  

Match 2: The Unamericans (Lance Storm and Christian) vs. Booker T and Goldust, WWE Tag Team Title Match, Summerslam 2002

Storm and Christian are the champions at the time. Booker comes out to a huge reaction, while the Unamericans come out with the American flag upside down because, you see, they're Unamerican. Goldust and Christian start, and Goldust goes to work early, hitting a butt bump and then an uppercut from the ground to get a two count. Storm is tagged in, but takes an arm drag and atomic drop for his efforts, then Goldust tags in Booker T. Booker continues to run roughshod over Lance, with a sideslam and a knee drop that gets a two count. That great American patriot Goldust is tagged back in, but a cheapshot from Christian and a thumb to the eye by Storm gives the Unamericans the advantage. Storm throws Goldust over the top rope, which would have been a disqualification in the NWA. After Christian works him over, he rolls Goldust back in and Storm gets a two count. The crowd chants 'USA' to try and Goldust back into the match, but the Unamericans use quick tags and underhanded tactics to keep Goldust isolated. Storm misses a dropkick though, and Goldust gets a quick two count. He tries to get to Booker, but Christian cuts that off. Front facelock by Christian, but Goldust forces his away into the corner and backdrops Christian. Tag to Booker, but the ref didn't see it so it's not allowed. Meanwhile, he doesn't see the other team make a tag but allows it anyway. I don't know about you, but I hate that spot as it makes no sense and makes the ref look like an idiot.

Anyway, a clothesline gets two for Storm, and the Unamericans continue their isolationist tactics. But Goldust fights back, catapults Christian into Storm on the outside and then rolls Christian up for a two count. Double clothesline, and Goldust and Christian are down. Before Goldust can get over to tag Booker, Storm goes over and trips Booker off the apron, forcing Booker to lose his cool and give chase. That's the same tactic I would use while playing a tag match in any Smackdown game. Christian is able to get Goldust away from his corner, and Storm sneaks in a chair. Actually, two chairs, and Storm and Christian attempt a Conchairto on Goldust, but luckily the big golden patriot ducks, and follows with a double clothesline. Finally, Booker gets the tag, and he starts wailing away at The Unamericans. A missle dropkick on Christian almost gets a three count. Booker and Christian each try their finishers to no avail, and Booker ends up delivering a flapjack to Christian. Storm tries a leaping heel kick, but Booker ducks and the ref ends up taking the blow. Booker gets both Unamericans with the Scissors kick, then follows up with a Spinarooni and a Harlem Sidekick to Christian. But the ref is down so that's all for naught. Storm comes in with a belt, but he's quickly taken care of by Booker T and Goldust. With the ref still down, fellow Unamerican Test (and a former Tag Team champion with Booker T), comes in and flattens Booker with a big boot. Christian covers, and the ref recovers to administer the three count. Wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either, so I'll give it a 2.5 out of 5.

Match 3: Lance Storm w/Tammy Lynn Bytch vs. Rob Van Dam w/Bill Alfonso, ECW Television Title Match, Guilty as Charged 1999

Before the match begins, Storm says something about not having to compete in a previously scheduled match with Spike Dudley and Jerry Lynn, so he challenges RVD to a match for Van Dam's TV Title Out comes Van Dam, and after a two minute entrance, he's ready to go. The bell rings, and nobody does anything for a minute and a half before the two do a basic exchange of holds that ends with both men at a standstill. Storm backs Van Dam into the corner, firing away with shoulder blocks and chops, before whipping him into another corner. But Van Dam reverses it and eventually monkey flips Storm to the other side of the ring. Storm backs into the corner while Alfonso keeps Van Dam hydrated by handing him a water bottle. Quality managing there, Fonzie. A thumb to the eye by Storm, but after a few blows, Van Dam gets the advantage back with a dropkick and a two count, followed by a snap mare which also draws a two count. Storm reverses an Irish whip and rolls Van Dam up into a single leg crab. So Alfonso goes over to the other side of the ring and starts messing with Bytch (yes, that's what she was known as at the time, so that's what I'll call her here). That distracts Storm, who grabs at Alfonso. However, he's in perfect position to take an apron leg drop from Van Dam. RVD gets thrown into the guardrail, but rebounds and then sets Storm over the guardrail to deliver a corkscrew legdrop from the apron, which RVD connects on. Back in the ring, RVD hits a double-underhook lifting facebuster for a two count. He whips Storm to the ropes, but Storm does a leapfrog and then lands a superkick to Van Dam for two. Storm traps Van Dam in a corner and delivers a series of strikes, including a dropkick to a seated RVD. Out of the corner, Van Dam tries a springboard manuever, but gets dropkicked out of the ring into the guardrail. Van Dam oversells a baseball slide by flying over the guardrail and landing eight rows back. In the crowd, Storm is whipped into the guardrail, backdrops Van Dam over, but Van Dam catches himself and does a somersault dive off the railing onto Storm. Van Dam tries to slam Storm on the floor, but Storm counters with a inverted DDT, which is a stupid move to do on the floor since you land on your back before your opponent, causing both participants to take damage. But Storm ignores that, and while RVD attempts a springboard off the guardrail, he gets dropkicked back into the crowd by Storm. Storm then follows with a dive from the top rope, over the guardrail, and onto Van Dam. While Joey Styles tries to sell the notion that Storm is in control, Van Dam does his own brand of selling by joking with the crowd. Ok then.

Back in, RVD tries for a springboard move out of the corner, but Storm catches him again and crotches Van Dam. Back Suplex is attempted, but Van Dam flips over on his feet and catches Storm with a leg drop before he can get up. Van Dam follows up with a drop toe hold and a Surfboard. Instead of holding him up, Van Dam kicks him off and catches Storm with a rolling senton for a two count. Storm is whipped into the corner, but he catches Van Dam with a springboard back elbow and gets a two count. Storm then does a cartwheel clothesline which Van Dam just shrugs off to catch a chair tossed by Fonzie. RVD tries for the Van Daminator, but Storm dodges the blow and ends up tapping RVD in the head with it. Unfortunately, Storm picks the chair back up, and gets caught with a Vandaminator. Storm sells the heck out of the move, but he was playing possum as he caught Van Dam with a low blow and nearly got a three count from a small package. Van Dam catches Storm with a spinning heel kick which "almost cut Lance Storm clean in half", according to Joey Styles. Like hell it did. Van Dam goes for another Van Daminator, but Storm ducks and the chair goes into the ref's face. Storm follows with a Van Daminator of his own, but the ref is out. Fonzie brings in a chair, which Storm takes away, but all that does is allow Van Dam to come off the top for a Van Daminator into Storm's face. Storm kicks out at two. Back up, RVD hits a crappy looking clothesline and goes for the Five Star Frog Splash, but Storm moves. Storm goes for a powerbomb, but RVD reverses into a rollup. The two men do a nice exchange of holds before Van Dam hits a German Suplex with a bridge, which is enough to get the three count. Ten years ago, I probably would have told you that this was a great match and these two men are what wrestling is all about or whatever. However, while there were a few solid spots, the match was hurt by RVD's indifferent selling and Storm's weak chair shots. Still, it was rather decent, so I'll give it a 2.35 out of 5.

Match 4: Lance Storm vs. Triple H, WWE Smackdown, May 21, 2002

Before the match, Storm gets on the mic and says that, despite Triple-H's victory over Chris Jericho in Hell in a Cell, he's nothing but a barbaric animal, and Storm will teach him a lesson like only a true technical wizard can do. Storm sets out to teach Triple-H a lesson by taking two hard clothesline and a high knee lift. But Triple-H's knee is all bandaged up from his last match, so the big dummy ended up hurting it after the move. Storm hits a jawjacker and some punches, but Triple-H follows up with a driving knee to the face, this time using his good leg. Storm reverses an Irish whip and dropkicks HHH down to the mat. Storm shows off his technical wizardry by attacking Triple-H with a series of punches, kicks, and other various blows. Even Tazz, on commentary, notices how Storm's actions differ from his words and calls him a hypocrite. It's effective, though, as Storm has re-opened Triple-H's headwound and nearly gets a three count. Storm lands a clothesline from the top and gets another two count. Storm continues to pound away, but Triple-H has had all he can take so he starts firing back with blows of his own. Storm misses a Stinger Splash, and HHH then lands a neckbreaker, followed by a spinebuster that gets a two count. Storm ducks a clothesline and lands a superkick, following up with a Canadian Mapleleaf on Triple-H's bum leg. But Triple-H gets to the ropes. Storm hits another superkick, and climbs to the top rope while the ref checks on Triple-H. HHH, ever the ring general, pushes the ref into the ropes, knocking Storm off. A Pedigree follows, and Triple-H holds Storm down for the three count. All in all, not a bad TV match and probably my favorite of the four. I'll give it a three out of 5.

So, what did I learn from all this Storm watching. That Lance Storm should never pick up a chair in a wrestling ring again. Other than that, I stand by my previous statement, Storm's a decent to good wrestler who got about as far in wrestling as he should have been. He had a nice career of producing matches that were neither bad nor great, just in the middle. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any thoughts about this post or about Lance Storm in general, or you have ideas for future post, then please feel free to send them to me either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at kthec2001@gmail.com.

Canon Wrestling Review: WWF Smackdown, January 17, 2002

Before I begin, I'd like to apologize for my week-long break from updating this place. Recently I started a new job, and the job left with very little free time between work and sleep. Plus, I'm not exactly the best person at managing my time wisely, so there's that. But never fear, Canon Review readers, as I'm not going anywhere and will continue to provide reviews on a variety of topics whenever possible. Plus, there's the 2011 Canon Review Baseball Preview to look forward to, and that will be due out sometime next week, hopefully before Thursday.

But enough about that, as here's a look back at the January 17, 2002 episode of WWF Smackdown. This show is significant in that it featured the first match in which Triple-H and Booker T were involved in together. Well, maybe it's not that significant, but whatever. Anyway, this is the 'go-home' show before the 2002 Royal Rumble, so I expect a lot of talk about that event on this show. Well, let's start this thing.

The show starts with The Rock arriving just in time. Stone Cold Steve Austin greets The Rock with some good news, as Austin is going to win the 2002 Royal Rumble. But with that news comes some bad news, as Austin explains to The Rock that after Rock wins the Undisputed Title from Chris Jericho at the Royal Rumble, he'll have to face Stone Cold for a third time at Wrestlemania. Austin reminds Rock that he has a 2-0 record against him at Wrestlemania, but the Rock casually proclaims that he doesn't need a reminder, as he thinks about that fact quite often. In fact, Rock thought about it when he pinned Austin at the 2001 Survivor Series just mere months ago. Oh Snap.

Fireworks go off and the show officially starts with Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler doing commentary. Nine years after this, and they're going to wrestle each other at Wrestlemania. I can honestly say I did not see that one coming back in 2002. The two explain that in tonight's main event, the former Two-Man Power Trip of Austin and Triple-H will reform tonight to face off against Booker T and Kurt Angle in Triple-H's first match back from injury. But forget all that, because next is Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal. On the previous edition of Raw, Regal used brass knuckles to knock out both Van Dam and Edge and win a tag match along with Test, who is a non-factor here. Van Dam takes Regal by surprise with a series of quick kicks and gets a two-count after a quick leg drop, but Regal uses a massive overhead German Suplex on Van Dam to flip RVD over and take the advantage. Regal continues working over Van Dam with a series of blows and a couple of submission holds before Van Dam begins his comeback. Rolling Thunder by Van Dam gets a two count, as does a body press from the top rope. Regal dodges a Van Dam charge in the corner, drags him over to the apron, and goes outside to grab some brass knuckles conveniently stashed away along with a chair. The ref catches the chair, and Regal seems taken aback as Van Dam catches him with a flying kick to the head. Regal's backed up in the corner again and Van Dam gives Regal a pair of shoulder blocks before backflipping for a third. But the backflip is all the time Regal needs to take the knucks out and blast Van Dam with a punch, and he gets the victory. Decent match considering the time constraints, which is no surprise from Regal.

Kurt Angle is looking for The Rock, but he still has time to berate a security guard. He finds Rock talking his cell phone to Jerry Lynn, and interrupts Rock to tell him that he, Kurt Angle, will win the 2002 Royal Rumble and face Rock at Wrestlemania. Seems like nobody's giving Jericho a chance to make it through as champ to Wrestlemania, does it. Rock digs it, calls it a dream match and tells Angle to close his eyes and imagine the possibilities. However, just as Angle is really getting into the dream of kicking the Rock's butt at Wrestlemania, the Rock gets in his own digs and proclaims that the only way Angle is beating Rock is in a dream world. Angle does not seem to be pleased by this at all. Up next is Billy Gunn, which means that many people back then were wondering what else was on that night. He comes out with Chuck Palumbo to face Tajiri, who is with Torrie Wilson.  Tajiri uses his speed to gain the upper hand early on with a headscissors and an enziguri kick, but his momentium is halted quite forcefully by a full-nelson facebuster from Gunn. Gunn keeps him down for a minute, but Tajiri gets back in the match and eventually catches Gunn in the Tarantula hold, setting up for the buzzsaw kick. Chuck comes in, and gets green mist sprayed in his face for his efforts. But Chuck's distraction was worthwhile, as Gunn catches Tajiri with the Famouser (ugh) and gets the three count. Post match, Chuck's still not happy about having green mist in his face, so he Super Kicks Tajiri in anger. Match was what it was, nothing really to write home about as it was too short to build to anything.

The Coach is standing outside Triple-H's locker room when a man that is definitely not Triple-H walks out to inform Coach that HHH is looking for The Rock. Well, Triple-H finds him in his locker room, and as you might suspect, informs the Rock that it will be he that wins the Royal Rumble. I suppose Chuck Palumbo and Lance Storm are also going to tell Rock that they'll win as well. To the back, where Trish Stratus is wearing an ugly green hat and being interviewed by Lillian Garcia. After Lillian stumbles through a question, Jazz attacks Trish Stratus from behind, then slams a crate against Trish's hand before proclaiming that she'll see Stratus again on Sunday as Lawler questions why Jazz attacked Trish. My guess would be that she did it to weaken Trish for Sunday, but what do I know?

Yo, it's DDP, and he's taking on The Big Boss Man. If Page wins, he gets to compete in the Royal Rumble, but Lawler seems to doubt DDP's chances for whatever reason. At first, Bossman seems to be proving Lawler right, punishing DDP with power moves such as a big boot and a powerslam. But a desperation jawbreaker out of a sleeper hold turns the tide for DDP, and a tornado clothesline follows. DDP gets Bossman in the corner for a ten punch, but just as ref Teddy Long tries to get between them, Bossman hits a low blow. Bossman starts jaw jacking about pancakes or whatever to the crowd, then scoops DDP up. But the master of the Diamond Cutter strikes again, as he slithers out of Bossman's grip and drops the former lawman to get the three count and enter the Royal Rumble. Now, he gets to go back and tell Rock that he's going to win the Rumble. Good little TV match here, all in all.

But before DDP can tell the Rock anything, The Undertaker has a word for the "People's Champ". Like everyone else, The Undertaker proclaims that he will win the Royal Rumble, but he's the first man that says that he doubts The Rock will beat Jericho on Sunday. But just in case, he wants The Rock to think about a potential Rock-Undertaker meeting. The Rock has had enough of people telling him about their plans, so he decides to go to the ring. Coming out to a tremendous ovation, The Rock explains that this year's Royal Rumble will be different, because everybody's going to win. He finds a cameraman, takes his camera, and explains that the camera man just whispered that he's going to win the Rumble. The Rock still has the camera, which is badly out of focus at this point, and zooms up on a six-year old kid and a cute blonde in the front row and says that they also proclaimed victory in the Royal Rumble, as did section 108. Finished with the camera, The Rock proclaims that it does not matter if it's Austin, Undertaker, Mr. Perfect, or "Punky Brewster on an ice cream sammich" that wins the Rumble, but whoever it is they'll be facing the Rock for the Undisputed Championship, and nothing can stop that. Out comes the man that can stop that, future Dancing With the Stars competitor and current champion Chris Jericho, and he does not look happy. Jericho seems pissed off that's he being referred to as an afterthought, and tells everyone that they can go to hell. He then reminds Rock that it was Jericho that beat Rock on the way to becoming Undisputed Champion, and that Rock can face whoever he darn well pleases at Wrestlemania, but it won't be for Jericho's title. Jericho then proclaims that this is his show, which the Rock takes exception to, as Smackdown is The Rock's show. Actually, it's Vince McMahon's show, but who's counting. Before the Rock can deliver his trademark line, Jericho interrupts and demands respect from the Rock, proclaiming that he is not a joke. So the Rock comes down to the ramp, and the two have a staredown before Rock promises to deliver a beating upon Jericho if he smells what is cooking. Really good stuff here between two masters of the mic, as this was quite an intense promo and made me want to go back and watch their match from the 2002 Rumble.

Up next is Rikishi in an over-the-top challenge against Lance Storm and Christian that, according to Michael Cole, will draw interest to those not familiar with the Royal Rumble. Well that, or people will vomit after Rikishi sticks his bulbous butt in somebody's face. The two Canadians try to double team Rikishi, but that doesn't go too well, as Kishi dominates the smaller men. He gives Lance Storm a stinkface, then kicks him out of the ring. Christian tries to attack from behind, but gets backdropped over the top onto Storm. But WAITAMINUTE! here comes The Big Show to get some. He clotheslines Rikishi down, but then takes a Samoan Drop for his efforts. Rikishi waits for Show to get back on his feet, which proves to be a mistake, as Show picks him up and carries him across the ring before dumping the Samoan over the top rope. Here comes the APA of Bradshaw and Faarooq, and they eliminate Show after a Bradshaw clothesline takes him over the rope. Bradshaw nearly dumps Faarooq over, but catches him before he can leave. They argue a bit, then Faarooq does the same, and then they make up only for Kane to come down. He gets double-teamed, but is able to duck a Bradshaw clothesline and back drop him over the ropes. Then Kane grabs Faarooq by the throat and slings him over the top before setting the posts aflame with his own two hands. Well, as far as previewing the Royal Rumble, this segment did it's job.

It's the Stacker 2 burn of the week, which sees Spike Dudley pick up the upset victory over his half-brother Bubba Ray thanks to some help from Spike's partner Tazz. Cut to earlier tonight in the parking lot, and The Dudley Boys put a beating on Spike and Tazz once they arrived at the building. Bubba slams Tazz against an 18-wheeler before locking him in the trunk of his own car, then the two Dudleys mercelessly beat up on Spike before dropping him with a 3-D on the concrete floor. Will Spike and Tazz be able to defend their titles at the Rumble? Meanwhile, Debra wants a piece of Stephanie McMahon Helmsley, but since her husband is teaming up with Debra's husband Stone Cold, Austin asks that Debra stay in the back so he can get through tonight's match without distraction. To the back, where Kurt Angle and Booker T are discussing the tag-team main event later tonight, and argue about which one of them will win the Rumble on Sunday. Angle states that this match will be "sweet and sour like an ice-cold shower" Right. Back to the ring, where Edge comes out to face off against Test. Edge starts the match on top with the world's worst Frankensteiner and a spinning heel kick that gets a two count, then Test takes over after an Uncle Slam. After stomping on Edge for a while, Test slips up and takes an enziguri from Edge. Edge gets a pair of two counts after a modified front face buster and an Edge-O-Matic, then the two men take the fight to the outside. Regal comes out and tries to sneak up on Edge, but that doesn't work, then Test tries to come from behind with a steel chair, only to get speared. Edge then wipes out both of his opponents with chair shots to the head. Referee Nick Patrick disqualifies Edge, so Edge decides that Patrick needs a chair shot to the head as well. Match was kind of boring, to be honest.

A video preview of the Royal Rumble plays, set to the song 'Cocky' by Kid Rock. Then it's to the back, where Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley is gloating over Debra not being allowed at ringside. But hold the phone, as Triple-H declares that Stephanie is also not allowed at ringside tonight in this, his first match back from injury. It's now time for the main event of the evening. In his last match, Triple-H teamed up with Stone Cold, but apparently the significance is lost on the announcers as they never mention this. HHH and Austin stare down at the beginning, but Angle tries to charge both men and ends up eating a fistful of fists from both men. Austin dominates Angle early on, then Booker T comes on only to eat a clothesline. Austin holds Booker up, and tags in the game, who fires away on Booker with ruthless aggression. After a distraction from Angle, Booker T hits a thrust kick to knock 'The Game' down. Tag to Angle, and Triple-H does that weird running choke he did for a couple of months after his comeback. Austin comes in, takes care of both men for a while until a standing spin kick from Booker finally knocks down Austin. Booker and Angle double up on Austin for the next few minutes or so, using quick tags and stomps to keep Austin down. Austin tries for a comeback, but a well-timed overhead belly-to-belly suplex from Angle takes care of that. Tag to Booker T, who hits the ax kick, does the Spinarooni and nails Austin with the Harlem Sidekick. Cover, but HHH breaks it up. Angle and Booker continue to work over Austin, but after a missed double team effort, Austin clotheslines both his opponents and then crawls over for the hot tag to Triple-H. He takes care of everybody with running knees and clotheslines. HHH gets a two count on Booker after a knee to the face, then Angle comes in and oh here go hell come as all four men are now brawling. Austin and Triple-H throw their opponents over the top rope, then back into each other and tease a showdown, but Angle and Booker T come in and go after them. That doesn't go too well, as Triple-H sets Booker up for the Pedigree, but Angle takes care of that with a german suplex. Austin comes in, throws Angle over the ropes, ducks a leaping sidekick from Booker and hits the Stone Cold Stunner. But Booker doesn't go down right away, which allows Triple-H the opportunity to Pedigree him and pick up the victory for his team. Post-match, The Undertaker comes down and stares a hole through Austin and Triple-H. Match wasn't too bad, although it seemed like Triple-H was still unsure about his leg at this time. But still, these four men know what they're doing in the ring, and Angle and Booker bumped like mad men for their opponents here tonight.

Overall, not a bad show, but not one that really stands out either. The best part of the night was The Rock's 'camera promo' followed by his verbal confrontation with Jericho, while the main event was the best match of the night. Other than that, a lot of stuff seemed to be either filler or just not that interesting. Overall, I'd give this episode of Smackdown a 5.55 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any comments about this or previous posts, or ideas for future reviews or posts, than share them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Let's talk about Kurt Angle

Recently, a wrestling magazine out of the UK called Powerslam released it's annual top 50 wrestlers of the year list. Number one on that list is Kurt Angle, as you probably guessed by the title of this post. So, in tribute of this accomplishment, I have decided to watch a few videos on Kurt Angle and review them for your amusement. I will be choosing which videos to watch by searching the Google Video search engine, and picking videos with random numbers, so who the heck knows what I'll get. So, without further adieu, here's a look at a man that shares a birthday with me (albeit a few years apart), Kurt Angle.

Video 1: A Look at Kurt Angle Training

So, we all have wondered how an Olympic Gold Medalist who switched over to professional wrestling and became the most intense individual in a profession full of intense people trains. Well, it may have been just me. Actually, I was never terribly interested either, but this video released by TNA shows us just how Kurt Angle trains to get in shape to carry Mr. Anderson to a decent match. According to this video, all Kurt Angle does to train is lift weights, be it with his legs, arms, whatever. Most of the video is Angle talking about his decision to drop himself out of the top 10 rankings in TNA and beat every wrestler ranked 1-10 on the list in order to earn a World Title match. I'm going to assume that he eventually realized this goal, or maybe he didn't. It is kind of odd to see Angle with some stubble on his face, as I'm more used to seeing him clean shaven. Anyway, I guess this wasn't that bad, so the video gets a 2 out of 5.



Video 2: WWE Kurt Angle Moonsaults From Cage

This video is from 2001, and features Kurt Angle in a commercial selling insurance. No, not really. As the title suggests, Kurt Angle does a moonsault off a cage in a match against Chris Benoit. He ends up missing Benoit and bouncing hard off the ground, which isn't surprising considering he did a backflip from about 12 feet high and landed straight on his torso. Even though it was a planned spot, that still probably didn't feel good. I'll give the video a 2.5 out of 5, because at least it was what it said it was.


WWE  Kurt Angle  Moonsaults From Cage
Uploaded by johncena77. - More professional, college and classic sports videos.

Video 3: TNA: Kurt Angle Threatens Jeff Jarrett 

Yep, it's just as it says, Kurt Angle threatens Jeff Jarrett. This video is from late in 2008, just before TNA Final Resolution 2008. At that show, Kurt Angle is to face Rhino with the stipulation being that if Angle wins, he gets a match with Jarrett, whom he lost to at the previous TNA pay-per-view. If Angle loses, he leaves TNA for good. Obviously, Angle won in a match that I actually reviewed earlier this year. So Angle calls Jarrett out, and tells him to celebrate, because Jarrett's celebrating somehow makes Angle stronger. Angle declares that he's more focused on beating Jarrett then he was winning the Gold Medal at the 1996 Olympics, which either means that he really hates Jeff Jarrett or his priorities are out of whack. Or maybe Angle just lacks perspective. Angle then mentions the issues, both in the ring and out, that he and Jarrett have had since Angle arrived on the scene in 2006. Of course, now they probably have more issues than ever since Jarrett is now married to Angle's ex wife, but that's neither here nor there. Jarrett looks bemused for the first few minutes of Angle's diatribe, until Angle decides to bring up Jarrett's family. That set off Jarrett to the point where now he stood on the entrance ramp with an angered look in his eyes. Angle concludes that stating that he will take Jarrett's company and family away from him because he's Kurt by God Angle, and Jarrett responds that the only way Angle will accomplish that is "over my dead body". Well, I'm sure that's pretty much what Angle stated he was going to set out and do, but whatever. The promo was ok, although it's funny that TNA was building to an Angle-Rhino match when Rhino was hardly mentioned. I'll give it a 2.15 out of 5.

 


Video 4: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle and Tyson Tomko, Handicap Match

All right, finally a match. This match is from the September 12, 2005 edition of WWE Raw, and Eric Bischoff is out on the ramp to root on Tomko and Angle. Tomko gets the advantage for his team by attacking Cena from behind. Cena gets out of a back suplex and takes down Tomko with punches. Cena off the rope, but Angle gets a shot in from the apron, casuing Jim Ross to react as if Angle sodomized Cena. Tag to Angle, but Cena gets the advantage after a raised boot from the corner, and gets a two count after a side slam. Angle rakes the eyes and tags Tomko, but Cena's vision clears up in time to hit a cross body on Tomko out of the Irish Whip and follow up with a Bodyslam. Cena fights both men off for a while, knocking Angle off the apron, battling with Tomko, then baseball sliding into Angle, which knocks Kurt back against the barricade. Finally, Tomko hits Cena with a crummy looking big boot and Super Cena is down. Cena is able to kick out at one, but all men are down on the mat as we head to commercial.

Back to the action, Angle's stomping away on Cena, and for some reason they show a replay of Tomko's awful boot. Cena goes behind out of a side headlock and hits a back suplex on Angle, and the ref starts to count both men down. Angle's up first and tags in Tomko. Tomko has no success against Cena, as he takes a series of punches and clotheslines before Cena catches him with his awful arm drag after Tomko rebounds from the Irish Whip. Cena's fired up, which can mean only one thing, Oh, Here Go Hell Come. Cena delivers a suplex to Tomko and catches Angle with a Spinebuster. Cena sets up Tomko for the FU, but Angle German Suplexes Cena while he's holding Tomko in the air, and all three men come crashing down to the mat. Angle with another German Suplex, but Cena is able to counter out of the third. Tomko goes for the big boot, but Cena ducks and hits Angle instead. Cena finishes Tomko off after a shoulder block and the FU, and gets the victory. This match felt as if they crammed 10 minutes worth of stuff into a five minute match, as nobody sold anything for more than three seconds. I'd give it a 1.65 out of 5.





Video 5: Kurt Angle VS The Rock VS Stone Cold VS The Undertaker VS Triple H VS Rikishi Hell In A Cell

Oh Here go Hell in a Cell Come, as this is the main event from WWF Armageddon 2000 and is for Angle's World Heavyweight Title. Everybody's facing off against everybody as Kurt Angle and the Undertaker are the first to actually wrestle in the ring. Undertaker gets a two count after a big punch, while The Rock tries to choke Rikishi with a cord on the outside of the ring. Austin slams Triple-H against the cage a couple of times, while the Rock and Rikishi take their turn in the ring. Rikishi counters the Rock's series of punches, but The Rock rebounds with a flying clothesline after an Irish Whip. They leave, while Austin and Triple-H enter the ring to do a sequence that culminates with an Austin Thesz press into punches, followed by a front elbow drop. That gets a two count, and Austin gets another two count after setting Triple H up against the second rope and doing a rope straddle on his back. Triple-H catches Austin with a high knee, then drags Austin to slam his knee against the ring post before they leave and the Rock and Angle come in. Rock gets a two count after a Samoan drop. Now everybody's brawling on the outside, with Triple-H suplexing Austin on the outside mat. The Rock gets slinged into the cage by Rikishi, but Rikishi gets caught with a Kurt Angle baseball slide from the ring. Austin and Undertaker team up on Triple-H, and everyone's just sort of mindlessly brawling at this point. Triple-H becomes the first man to bleed after Austin rakes his head against the cage. Austin then walks all around the ring, raking HHH's face against the cage as he goes before finally stopping and slamming HHH against the cell wall. Austin throws HHH in the ring and goes to enter himself, only to get caught with a big leg drop from Rikishi on the back of his head. Rikishi and Triple-H seem to be an alliance, but Triple H changes that with a Pedigree on Rikishi, and only a last-second save by The Rock keeps The Game from winning the match. Angle saves Triple-H from losing to a DDT from the Rock, and then Olympic Slams the Rock, only for Austin to break up the count. Austin with the Stone Cold Stunner on Angle, but the Undertaker breaks up the cover and chokeslams Austin, only for Triple-H to pull Taker out of the ring. Taker responds by slamming Triple H against the cage a few time while the other men are down in the ring. Austin hits both Rikishi and the Undertaker with clothelines, and reverses a Rikishi Irish Whip with a Thesz Press and punches combo. All of a sudden, here comes Vince McMahon on the back of a flatbed truck.

Vince hooks the door to the back of the truck, and the truck is able to break the door off with ease. Vince then tells the crew of the truck to hook the chains up to the cell and take it down, which is probably not safe for the wrestlers inside. Here come Commissioner Mick Foley, who enforces the rules by force with punches to stooges Patterson and Brisco, before having Vince escorted out by security. Triple-H exits the cell door first, and Stone Cold follows, taking Triple-H down with a clothesline from behind. Austin slams Triple H onto the hood of a conveniently placed clunker. I don't know why there are a few junk cars next to the entrance ramp, but since they're here, why not use them? Austin uses a camera to smash Triple-H in the gut with, while everybody else have found their way to the car lot. Austin and Triple-H brawl around the construction truck, and eventually Triple-H slams Austin face first through a window. That makes Austin bleeder number two. Meanwhile, The Rock attempts to Rock Bottom HHH on the top of a car, but a Triple-H low blow puts a stop to that. Pedigree by Triple-H on the Rock, on the top of a car. Now The Rock is bleeding, meanwhile, Rikishi tries to brain Austin with a barrel, but Austin is able to kick Rikishi in the gut to bring a stop to that. Undertaker slams Angle on the hood of a car, and I believe Angle has a cut on his arm, but I'm not sure. Austin catapults Triple-H onto a car hood, and then tries to smush Triple-H with a barrel, but misses. Meanwhile, Undertaker and Angle are now around the announcer's table, and the Undertaker bonks Kurt on the headwith a microphone. While the others brawl, Angle somehow gets the advantage and bashes the Undertaker's head in with a chair. Now the Undertaker's busted open, and Triple-H has decided to climb the cage wall and go on the roof, with Austin right behind him. The two start brawling on the cage, with Triple-H teasing a fall off the cage, but eventually they move towards the middle and now Angle and the Undertaker have joined in the fun on the roof. Austin with an awkward looking Stunner on the roof. Angle becomes the fifth man to bleed from the forehead after The Undertaker bashes his head against a support beam on the roof of the cell.


Triple-H decides that it would be a good idea to climb down, and Austin follows. Rikihsi and The Rock are now on the roof, while a timekeeper throws The Undertaker a chair, and Taker uses it to bash Angle in the head. The Rock has decided to leave while Rikishi takes the chair to slug Taker. While Rikishi is busy with Undertaker, Angle decides that now would be a good time to head to solid ground. Kishi and Undertaker brawl on the cell, and get perilously close to the edge. Oh No, Taker chokeslams Rikishi off the cage roof into the back of the previously introduced flatbed truck, leaving Rikishi in a mess of wood chips and other stuff. The crowd goes into a frenzy as Rock and Stone Cold square off with each other, ending in a Rock Spinebuster. Rock goes for the People's Elbow, but Triple-H puts an end to that. The Rock knocks Triple-H out of the ring, then counters an Angle offensive attempt with a Rock Bottom. Cover, but Austin breaks it up before three. Both Austin and Rock struggle to their feet, and Austin hits the Stunner on The Rock, allowing The Rock to do his mega sell of that maneuver. Triple-H catches Austin before he can cover The Rock, and hits the neckbreaker on Stone Cold. That allows Kurt to roll over and drape his arm over The Rock, and get the three count to retain the title. Post match, Austin sends a message to Angle with a Stone Cold Stunner. Well, this was a mess of a match, but at least it was an entertaining one. I'll give it a 3.25 out of 5.




Well, thanks for reading The Canon Review's look at Kurt Angle, and if you have any comments about this or previous posts, or ideas for future reviews or posts, than share them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Canon Wrestling Review: WWF Monday Night Raw: June 30, 1997

Well, the Braves have ticked me off over the last two days, so I have decided to let out some frustration by watching some pro wrestling. In this case, it is the June 30, 1997 episode of Monday Night Raw, which features Jim Neidhart in the main event, so it's got to be a great episode. Let's get ready to rumble, shall we?

A video detailing the relationship between Paul Bearer and the Undertaker plays to begin the show. Paul Bearer has promised to reveal a deep dark secret that will destroy the Undertaker. I guess that didn't work, since the Undertaker is still around today. The intro plays, and tonight's announcers are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Jerry Lawler. "The World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock comes out to face off against Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who comes out to Beethoven's 'Ode to Joy'. I still think that was his best theme song. A video plays of Chyna proclaiming herself the World's Most Dangerous Woman, and the match starts. Shamrock frustrates Helmsley with a pair of arm drags and a arm lock. Triple-H gets the advantage with an eye gouge, and goes to stomping Shamrock in the corner until the ref has enough and pulls him out by his hair. So Triple-H changes tactics, using a running knee lift and a knee drop to get a two count. Both men are back up, and Helmsley is able to catch a running Shamrock and throw him to the outside of the ring. Triple-H distracts the ref, allowing Chyna to whip Shamrock hard into the steps. Back in, it looks as if Helmsley is about to put Shamrock away, but here comes Mankind, who distracts Helmsley. This proves to be unfortunate for Triple-H, as Shamrock uses a belly-to-belly suplex to pin Triple-H. Helmsley leaves yelling at a Mankind as Jim Ross promotes their match at the next pay-per-view six days from this episode. Match was decent enough, but too short. I'll give it a 1.9 out of 5.

A video package of Ahmed Johnson plays, as Ahmed had recently joined the Nation of Domination and turned on the Undertaker. Last week, while Ahmed tried to explain why he joined the NOD, the Disciples of Apocalypse debuted and got into a big brouhaha with the NOD, and Ahmed walked too fast and tore his knee up, costing the big Johnson his title shot at the Undertaker. Ahmed promises revenge against the DOA and the Undertaker, and says some other stuff I couldn't really understand.

Up next is Michael Cole, who apparently is cool these days since he's a heel, interviewing the Legion of Doom about their upcoming tag match with Faroouq and D'Lo Brown of the NOD. Hawk promises to turn the Nation into small animal excrement. That's nice. The match is next, but before that Sunny shows a casket full of money that the WWF is giving away. Yes, I said casket full of money. The two teams come out in a semifinal match of a tournament to determine the number one contenders to the tag titles, and the Legion takes control of Faroouq early. A tag out to D'Lo doesn't do much good, as Hawk suplexes Brown down to the mat. D'Lo gets the advantage after catching a ducking Hawk with a boot to the face, and takes control for a minute or so with stomps and punches. Hawk is able to catch D'Lo with a swinging neckbreaker, and tags out to Animal. The Godwins come out and watch from the stage as Hawk and Faroouq brawl on the outside. Doomsday Device on D'Lo, and man that move is dangerous, as Henry Godwin could attest to. Speaking of which, apparently Mr. Godwin is upset about having his neck broken a few months before due to the Device, so he clobbers Hawk in the back of the head with his trusty slopbucket while the ref isn't looking. Faroouq gets the pin after the interference, and the L.O.D. chases after the Godwins. Match wasn't really bad, it was just boring. I'll give it a 1.5 out of 5.

The Nation, however, is not done, as they call Vince McMahon up and blast his decision to give Vader the title shot that Ahmed Johnson originally had instead of one of them. Yeah, like people would pay to see the Undertaker vs. Kama or D'Lo. Savio Vega has had enough of Faroouq's talking, and the recently displaced Nation member informs Faroouq that he was not fired, but rather he quit. Well, whatever gets you through the night. Faroouq challenges Savio to bring it, and Savio does, along with a few of his friends. This moment marks the birth of the greatest stable in wrestling history, Los Boriquas. They brawl with the Nation some, and here comes the Disciples of Apocalypse, to a rather large pop, I must say. Everybody brawls with each other until security breaks it up and we go to commercial.

Michael Cole interviews Savio and his friends, and Savio declares his group Los Boriquas before everyone starts yelling at the mic for whatever reason. Up next is a match between Scott Putski and Brian Christopher. Putski looks jacked to the gills during this period. Putski takes control early on with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex and a sidewalk slam. Christopher gets the advantage back with the Skull Crushing Finale. He follows that up with a dropkick from the second rope and a nice northern lights release suplex. Christopher tries to hurracanrana Putski, but gets powerbombed for his efforts. Putski follows that up with a series a clotheslines and a big splash from the top rope. Christopher's father Jerry Lawler gets on the apron. Christopher charges at Putski, but instead Putski ducks and knocks his father off the apron. Putski scoops up Christopher, but is tripped by Lawler and lands on his head as Christopher rolls him up for the three count. Afterwards, father and son beat down on Putski, as Jerry tells Scott to inform his father, the legendary Ivan Putski, that the only thing good to come out of Poland was an empty boat. Well then. Match was fast paced with a lot of moves in a short time, but nothing was really linked together. Still, not too bad. I'll give it a 2.5 out of 5.

The Undertaker is in the back, and he asks for the fans to let him tell his side of the story after Paul Bearer reveals his dark secret. A video montage of the Great Sasuke is shown, promoting his debut at Canadian Stampede. Brain Pillman is out, and a video is shown of his comments prior to his match with Mankind, where he promises to show Marv Albert and Mike Tyson something about biting another human by taking a chunk out of Mankind's good ear. Mankind comes out bearing a gift and wearing a sign that says "Pick Me, Steve", as he really wants to be Austin's tag team partner. Mankind presents the gift to Jim Ross, which is a plaster hand shaped like Mankind's, mandible claw in all. Pillman is not amused, as he takes the hand and beats Mankind with it before throwing it back to Ross, and the match is on. Pillman gets control early, but Mankind gains control with brawling tactics, and then delivers a running knee to a downed Pillman in the corner. The two continue fighting as Triple-H and Chyna show up on the stage. The match goes to the outside, and Pillman uses the referee trying to hold back Mankind as an opportunity to bash Mankind with the ring bell behind the ref's back. Pillman then uses a pencil to stab Mankind with a couple of times before the ref takes it away. Mankind eventually gets the advantage and sets Pillman up against the stairs, but Pillman moves, and Mankind goes knees first into the metal steps. Back in, Pillman fulfills his pre-match promise to bite Mankind's good ear. But Mankind comes back, and eventually drags Pillman over to the ring post, where he slams his bad ankle against the medal post, then crotches Pillman for good measure. The mandible claw is put on Pillman, but here comes Triple-H to break it up while Chyna distracts the ref. That gets a mandible claw for Helmsley on the outside, until Pillman breaks it up by beating Mankind with one of his boots. Pillman tries to hold Mankind up for a chairshot, but Helmsley misses and Pillman takes the chair instead. Mankind goes after Triple-H, but gets counted out as Pillman is able to beat the ref's count, giving Pillman the victory. Interesting match, I'd give it a 2.65 out of 5.

Paul Bearer is in the back, as he promises to deliver the secret that will mark the beginning of the end for the Undertaker. Out comes Mr. Bearer, and before he reaches the ring, a female fan comes out and easily takes down the big man before security drags her away. That was weird. Bearer talks for a while, but the gist of the secret is this, Bearer was working at a funeral home owned by the Undertaker's family, and the Undertaker burned that funeral home down, killing his parents and his brother. Of course, if Bearer did know this, than why was he the Undertaker's manager for six years prior to this? This mystery will keep me up for days. Back from commercial, Vader congratulates Bearer for making his announcement, and Sable and Marc Mero show off the cash casket.

Next is the second semifinal of the tag tournament, as the Headbangers take on Owen Hart and Davey Boy Smith. The Headbangers start with the advantage after a Mosh dropkick and a double pancake on Owen. Thrasher comes in, so does Davey Boy. Thrasher seems to be in control until Owen comes in after a blind tag and lands a spinning heel kick on Thrasher. That gets two. From there, Owen and Davey Boy are in control, as they show off moves such as Davey Boy's stall suplex, a double back elbow, and others, getting a number of two counts in the process. Meanwhile, Bret Hart is on the phone from Calgary, promoting his team's upcoming 10 man tag match at Canadian Stampede. Owen goes for a suplex, but Thrasher counters with a small package, and nearly gets the pin. This does give Thrasher an opening to get the HOT TAG to Mosh, who comes in with body slams, clotheslines, and dropkicks for everybody. Owen's in trouble, as the Headbangers set him up for the stage dive, but Davey Boy crotches Mosh, and Owen is able to roll up Thrasher to get the victory. Match could have used five more minutes to really get going. I'll give it a 1.8 out of 5. Afterwards, Jim Cornette returns, and he's brought a new tag team in. That team turns out to be the Headhunters, who at first brawl with both teams before Davey and Owen just leave. The Headbangers seemed to be in control at first, but a Cornette distraction allows the Headhunters to gain the advantage, and they finish up the brawl with one delivering a diving headbutt that just barely connects, while the other does a pretty nifty moonsault from the top rope.

Time to go back to the Undertaker's locker room, where he offers a rebuttal to Paul Bearer's secret. Taker admits that a fire at the funeral home killed his family, but it was not he, but rather his brother Kane that set the fire inadvertently when he combined matches with embalming fluid. The Undertaker was out doing chores during the day, and once he returned, the funeral home was burned down to the ground. Undertaker also claims that Paul Bearer made the Undertaker look at the charred remains of his family, which is probably not the best thing for a grieving child. Undertaker concludes by saying that he will draw strength from the dead to strike Paul Bearer down. In the hands of most other wrestlers, this would just be ridiculous, but the Undertaker is convincing enough in this speech to make the angle work.

Rockabilly is led out to the ring by the Honky Tonk Man for his match against Vader, who is led to the ring by Paul Bearer. Of all the gimmicks in Billy Gunn's career, Rockabilly just might be the worst. Rockabilly decides not to waste time, so he slams his guitar into Vader's back. That didn't work, as Vader barely flinched and proceeds to pepper Rockabilly with lefts and rights. The Undertaker comes out and beats on Vader while Paul Bearer screams "murderer" at the top of his lungs. That enrages the murderous Undertaker, so he grabs Bearer by the collar and paintbrushes him, demanding to tell the fans the truth. Instead, Bearer reveals another secret, that Taker's brother Kane is alive. Now, 13 years later, and Taker and his 'brother' Kane are still feuding. Anyway, Vader attacks the Undertaker from behind, and then he and Bearer run to the back, with Taker chasing close behind. This wasn't really a match, which is all right since Rockabilly v. Vader isn't that appealing a match anyway.

It's main event time on Raw, as Jim Neidhart is waiting in the ring. Out comes Steve Austin to a DOA-like pop. Neidhart jumps Austin early on, but Austin is able to counter with punches and clotheslines before slamming the Anvil down for a two count. Anvil comes back with a pair of big shoulderblocks, but Austin is Irish Whipped into the ropes, which allows him to Thesz Press the Anvil. Austin tries for a sharpshooter, that doesn't work, so Austin instead sinks in the abdominal stretch. To the outside, and Austin slams Neidhart down on the entrance ramp before the show cuts to commercial.

Back from commercial, and Bret Hart has flown in from Calgary to Des Moines, Iowa in 30 minutes to attack Ken Shamrock in the back. Meanwhile, during the break, Neidhart took control of the match after whipping Austin into the ring steps, and continues to control the action with a series of rest holds and brawling tactics. Austin is able to counter a Neidhart sleeper with a jawbreaker, which gets a two count. However, Neidhart uses his gut to stop Austin's charge and lock in a front face lock. Anvil slams Austin down, but misses a second rope dive. Austin takes control with punches and stomps, before Bret Hart comes out. The Hart Foundation double team Austin and drag him to the post, where Hart locks Austin in his patented ring post figure four, which I'm surprised somebody hasn't lifted the move for their own repertoire. Mankind comes out to rescue Austin, but the rest of the Hart Foundation attack Mankind as the show concludes. Match was rather boring and Neidhart was gassed early on. I'll give it a 1.3 out of 5.

Overall, the show wasn't too bad nor all that great. There were a couple of decent matches, and the Paul Bearer-Undertaker angles were compelling at the very least. Plus, the show marked the debut of the Los Boriquas and the first mention of Kane, so it's quite a historic show. Overall, I'd give the show a 5.35 out of 10. Thanks for reading, and if you have any thoughts about this show or the wrestlers involved, or have an idea for a future review, than feel free to share those either by leaving a comment on the blog or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

The Canon Review of Starrcade 1994

After reviewing the brief WCW tenure of the Honky Tonk Man a couple of weeks ago, I found myself interested in watching more of World Championship Wrestling, circa 1994. This can't be a healthy interest, as most wrestling fans are not big fans of that particular time period, and for good reason. Well, I don't care, I'm going to watch and review Starrcade 1994 anyway. Starrcade 1994 is notable because the main event featured WCW World Champion Hulk Hogan taking on his best friend Brutus Beefcake, going by the moniker of "The Butcher" for some reason here. Yes my friends, WCW's biggest show of the year is main-evented by Brutus freakin' Beefcake. But wait, there's more, as the other big matches include Sting vs. Avalanche (John Tenta), Vader vs. U.S. Champion Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and in what was likely the match of the year, Kevin Sullivan wrestles Mr. T. This looks to be quite the show. Actually, I've seen it before, but that was like 10 years ago and besides, a show like this should be rewatched at least 9 times. So, in the words of Tazz, here comes the pain.

We open with a rundown of the card and the introduction of our announcers, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, and Gene Okerlund doing the interviews. Great, I'm going to have to suffer three hours of Bobby telling jokes and Tony refusing to laugh at any of them. Bobby makes some joke about Nashville being full of rednecks which Tony ignores and Gene chastises Bobby for. Aaron Tippin sings the national anthem, wearing a Tampa Bay Lightning jersey for some reason. After that, we see clips of Randy Savage promising to confront Hogan at Starrcade and Hogan accepting the Wrestler of the Year award from Pro Wrestling Illustrated magazine. After all of that nonsense, we are finally ready to start this show.

Up first is the first of tonight's "Triple Main Event", between Vader and Hacksaw Jim Duggan for Duggan's United States Championship. Duggan comes out ready to fight tonight, as he constantly beats Vader to the punch and keeps his opponent off balance for the first few minutes of the match with a variety of clotheslines and punches. Duggan even pulls out a cross-body block and bodyslams the 450 pound Vader at one point. Eventually, Vader takes control, and gets a two count after the Vader splash off the second rope. A short while after, Vader attempts the moonsault, but Duggan moves out of the way. Duggan gets back up, clotheslines Vader a couple of more times, and catches and slams Vader down after Vader jumped off the middle rope. Duggan's got the cover, but referee Nick Patrick is distracted by Vader's manager, Harley Race. Duggan goes into the three point stance and charges his opponent, but Vader throws Duggan into Race, who puts Duggan's 2 x 4 in the air and Duggan runs into it. Duggan's down, but Vader picks him up off the ground, and slams him face first with an inverted powerbomb type maneuver. That gets three, and Vader's the new United States Champion. Not a bad match, and Duggan got the crowd fired up early, even though a lot of people cheered when Vader eventually won. Too many clotheslines in this match, though, and Vader didn't seem all that interested, to be honest. I'll give it a 2.5 out of 5.

Mean Gene's in the back with the Faces of Fear (Butcher, Kevin Sullivan, and Avalanche). Sullivan's the only one that should talk, but everybody gets some mic time and Butcher ends up flubbing a couple of lines. Up next is a matchup of two young superstars. One of which would become arguably the biggest star in the business, while the other had a few years of employment, but by and large was out of the sport a few years later. It's Alex Wright vs. Jean-Paul Levesque, better known today as Triple-H. I suddenly became very sleepy while watching this match. A LOT of chin locks and mat wrestling that really goes nowhere. Levesque used a spinning wheel kick at one point, which I don't think he's done since. The end comes after Levesque whips Wright into the corner, Wright backflips behind his opponent, schoolboys Levesque and gets the victory. After watching the match, it was clear that Levesque was the better worker, but both men were very inexperienced at this point and the match basically killed the crowd dead. Afterwards, WCW kept pushing Wright as it's hot young superstar, while Levesque soon left WCW to go on to bigger and better things in the WWE. In hindsight, I think WCW might have made a mistake here. Match gets a 1.2 out of 5.

The next match is supposed to be the third Honky Tonk Man-Johnny B. Badd match, but HTM walked out on the company just before the show, so mercifully I am spared from watching that debacle. Instead we get Arn Anderson vs. Johnny B. Badd for Badd's television title. Heenan states that they should have bombed Nashville instead of Horishima, which just horrifies Schiavone. I guess Heenan's not a fan of the Music City. The match starts with a bunch of tie-ups, Badd pulls off a move, and Arn quickly backs away sequences. Johnny B. gets the advantage with a few punches, but Arn hits the spinebuster, but doesn't cover Badd because he's still dazed from the punches. From there, Arn takes over, using the abdominal stretch, and a sleeper hold. Badd gets out of the sleeper, puts on his own sleeper, but Anderson gives Badd the jawbreaker to get out of it. Both men get back up, and Badd counters out of an Irish whip with a nice-looking headscissors. He gets a couple of two counts, than attempts the sunset flip from the top rope. Badd hits it, but Anderson once again kicks out at two. Anderson rolls up Badd and has his foot on the ropes, but the referee saw it and gets Arn off of him. Arn thinks he's won for some reason, but Badd sneaks up behind him and uses the same finish as the previous match, a schoolboy that gets the three count. Anderson is in shock and Badd retains the TV title. Probably better than anything HTM and Badd could have put together, but I wouldn't go out of my way to watch this match again. I'll give it a 2 out of 5.

The Nasty Boys are presented with the 1994 PWI Award for Tag Team of the Year, which leads us into our next match featuring the Boys and Harlem Heat, who are accompanied by Sister Sherri. The match starts off as a brawl between the two teams, but quickly becomes an honest to goodness wrestling match. That's not really a good thing, though, as basically the Nasties do a lot of arm work on Harlem Heat, but that's quickly forgotten, so we basically got four minutes of mat wrestling for no real reason. Stevie Ray drags Jerry Sags out of the ring, and gives him a pump kick out in the aisle, giving Harlem Heat the advantage. However, Booker T's the legal man, so we have to wait for about a minute before Stevie drags Sags (hey, that rhymes) back to the ring. From there, Booker T delivers a scissor kick, but only gets two. Harlem Heat slows the match down even more, because clearly that's what this show needed, another slow match. Sags delivers a DDT to both men and gets the hot tag to Brian Knobbs, who gets in there and brawls with Stevie Ray. Sherri gets on the apron, goes to spray Knobbs with some sort of aerosol product, but she "accidentally gets Stevie Ray instead. I say accidentally because Knobbs ducked some five seconds before Sherri used the spray. Booker gets on the top, but Knobbs throws him off and Sags hit a big elbow drop. Cover, but Sherri dives off the top to break it up. Somehow, the Nasties see this and move, making Sherri land on Booker T instead. The ref calls for a disqualification, and the Nasties have Sherri cornered. They then stick Sherri's face in Sags' arm pit. Well, that's disgusting. After the match, both teams are shown in the back delivering promos about how they'll continue to fight or whatever. The promos looked very ECW-ish, if that makes any sense at all. This match kind of sucked, I'll give it a 1 out of 5.

Sting is presented with PWI's most popular wrestler of the year. We go to the back with Sting and Gene. Sting says he's tired of hearing everybody talk about what they're going to do at Starrcade, so naturally, he talks about what he's going to do at Starrcade. I wish he would have talked more, because up next we have Kevin Sullivan wrestling Mr. T. Sullivan comes out, and we get another ECW-style promo of Sullivan clawing at the wall backstage because he's crazy. Mr. T has decided to dress like a prisoner, with a black-and-white striped shirt and stocking hat on. T gets the first moves in, but Sullivan gets the advantage with some brawling. They go the outside, a cameraman trips over the stairs, and unfortunately for him, T and Sullivan decide to wrestle in the exact same area, so the poor cameraman is under Mr. T, who is getting beat down by Sullivan. It was actually funny, at least to me. Santa Claus comes out, somebody in the audience pulls off his hat and Jimmy Hart gives him a megaphone to put in his bag. Santa's actually Evad Sullivan, Kevin's "brother" and he wallops Kevin in the back with the sack. Mr. T covers, and wins the match. Evad celebrates with the fans outside the ring, but Kevin comes up from behind and beats him up. He takes Evad to the ring, and Evad's pants are falling off. Luckily, he had his wrestling gear underneath, or otherwise that would have been a quite unwelcome sight. Kevin piledrives Evad, takes Santa's belt off, and whips his "brother" in the face with the belt. That looked like it might hurt. The match gets a 0.3 out of 5, as T really couldn't do anything and well, it just sucked.

Hulk Hogan and Jimmy Hart are in the back with Gene. Hulk addresses both the Butcher and Randy Savage and promises to rip all of his opponents in half. Jimmy Hart says he'll never leave the Hulkster's side. Well, that turned out to be a lie, didn't it. Avalanche comes out for his match with Sting, and naturally, Sting follows. What transpires after this is one of the sloooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeesssssssstttttttt matches you will see. Avalanche does hardly anything and is blown up about five minutes in. All Sting can do with Avalanche is kick him in the leg and wait for Avalanche to get his breath back. Sting tried, but it just was not going to happen. Avalanche stalls a lot and does a bunch of side headlocks with the occasional leg drop or clothesline thrown in. Sting finally starts to get some momentium, knocking Avalanche down with a clothesline. He backs the 'Lanche into the corner and hits the Stinger Splash, but the referee was trapped behind Avalanche and he goes down as well. Sting turns over Avalanche for the Scorpion Death Lock, but Kevin Sullivan interferes. Sting has some success fighting them off, but the numbers are too much for Sting. Avalanche uses his patened sit-down splash on Sting, and goes for another one but Hogan comes out and chases his two enemies out with a chair. Sting wins by disqualifaction, marking yet another unsatisfying and cheap finish on this show. I almost fell asleep during this match at least twice, so I'll give it a 0.5 out of 5.

We see Jimmy Hart win the Manager of the Year Award from PWI. Whoop-dee-damn-do. We then get a recap of the events that led up to Hogan wrestling his best friend. See, a masked man kept attacking Hogan, and at Halloween Havoc, that man was revealed to be Brutus Beefcake. So, here we are. Butcher comes out with Sullivan and Avalanche, while Hogan comes with Jimmy Hart and a chair. Michael Buffer makes the introductions, which takes up about three minutes of time, Avalanche and Sullivan are sent to the back, and off we go. This match set the record for most back rakes used in a single match, as 80% of both men's offensive repertoire was the dreaded back rake. Hogan even pulled out the dreaded chest rake as well. Hogan uses a chair, but the match still continues. Hogan starts biting the Butcher, but again, the ref lets it go. Butcher does something, I don't remember, but it ends with a nerve hold on Hogan. Butcher then puts his patented sleeper on Hogan. Hogan's arm drops twice, but he just barely holds it up the third time. Butcher thinks that he's won, but he has not, and Hogan begins to Hulk out all over Butcher. Sullivan runs out, and Avalanche struggles to jog out. They both get blows from Hogan, so they hang out on the apron and watch Hogan legdrop Butcher for the three count. Afterwards, the three Faces of Fear surround Hogan, but here comes Randy Savage. Savage shakes Sullivan's hand, but WAITAMINUTE! Savge attacks Sullivan and teams with Hogan to run the threesome off. Savage shakes Hogan's hand and the two celebrate. To the locker room with a post-match interview with Savage and Hogan. They talk about this and that, but here comes Vader, who calls the Hulkster out. Chaos then ensues as wrestlers and security struggle to hold the two men apart. Looks like we've got a main event for the next WCW Pay-Per-View spectacular. I don't know what to give this match and I never want to see it again, so I'll just say a 1 out of 5 and leave it at that.

Well, that was not very good at all. Most of the matches either disappointed or sucked as much as you thought they would. The first match was the best of the night, and even that was just ok. So I strongly recommend you not watch this show unless you are having trouble falling asleep one night. I'll give the whole show a 2.4 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any better ideas for reviews than this, then for goodness sakes send them to me. You can send them either by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com or by leaving a comment on the blog.