February 1997 was a tumultuous time for the WWF. Shawn Michaels had lost his smile and vacated the WWF Title, while Bret Hart was in the midst of turning against the fans who he felt had turned on him. A young Rocky Miavia was struggling to gain fan support, while talk of an ECW 'invasion' were abound. Meanwhile, the WWF Title was awarded to Bret Hart after he won a fatal four-way match at the PPV Final Four. This episode of Monday Night Raw took place the day after Final Four took place, on February 17, 1997, and the announcers for this show are Jim Ross and Jerry 'The King" Lawler.
No time is being wasted on this episode, as 'Sycho' Sid is coming out to face the new WWF Champion, Bret Hart in a Title match. I must say that I love Sid's entrance, from his theme song to the giant "SID" sparking sign over the ring. Hart comes out to a great ovation from the fans, so I guess he's still a face at this moment. Staredown to start, but OH HERE GO HELL COME as Steve Austin enters the ring and attacks Bret Hart. The two trade blows, then Sid decides he wants some of Austin so he attacks. While security separates the two, Austin chop blocks Sid in the back of the knee, and the big man is hurt. After Austin is escorted from the ring area, Sid tries to walk off the injury (and drops an audible f-bomb in the process) and the match is delayed until the end of the show.
Clips are shown from Shawn Michaels vacated the WWF title on last week's Raw because he "lost his smile". Yes, that was the reason given. I don't remember Lou Thesz or Harley Race vacated world titles because of a 'lost smile', but this was the 'New Generation'. Then, still shots from last night's main event are shown. Vader took a nasty cut above his eye, while the Undertaker was so close to winning the title, but thanks to interference from Austin, Hart came away with the victory and the championship. But don't worry about 'Taker, because it was announced that he will face the winner of Bret vs. Sid for the WWF Championship at Wrestlemania. To the back, where Kevin Kelly is with Sid. Sid tells Kelly to shut up, then proclaims that it will take more than a knee injury to keep him from his destiny of becoming the WWF Champion. Also, he is the master and ruler of the world.
Wildman Marc Mero comes out with Sable to face off against the Nation of Domination's Savio Vega. Sable's apparently becoming more involved in matches, including smacking Leif Cassidy last night in his match against Marc Mero. Vega comes out with a cadre of Nation members, including PG-13, who are rapping over the NOD theme song. Meanwhile, Faarooq and Clarence Mason are in the crowd above the entranceway, and everybody gives the Nation salute before the match starts. Mero gives Vega a series of arm drags before Savio bails to the outside, but that doesn't go well as Mero catches buth Savio and Crush with a somersault plancha. Back in, Savio has the advantage for a while, but that changes and Mero backs Vega into the corner for a 10-punch. However, Savio drops Mero face first on the turnbuckle, then throws the Wildman to the outside so PG-13 can stomp away at him. Sable comes over, and knocks JC Ice down with a couple of kicks that don't exactly inspire visions of Kawada. Mero and Vega continue the fight, with Mero taking Vega down with a Samoan drop, but the rest of the NOD is pissed at Sable, so they chase her into the ring and cause the match to be thrown out. While Mero and Sable are cornered, Ahmed Johnson comes out with a 2 x 4, in a bright orange jumpsuit for some reason. Johnson chases off the Nation and good prevails. This match was just filler, and not very entertaining filler at that.
To the back, where Bret Hart is interviewed by J.R. and The King about his upcoming match with Sid. Hart predicts victory for himself tonight, to which Lawler takes slight offense to. Well, Bret says that he's looking out for number one because if you "don't look out for number one, you end up stepping on number two". Not quite as catchy a catchphrase as Austin 3:16. Lawler comments that Bret is probably thrilled about Stone Cold injuring Sid's leg, so Bret simply tells the King to shut up. Good one. Up next is a match between Leif Cassidy and the Intercontinental Champion, Rocky Maivia. Rocky comes out with a goofy smile on his face to a lukewarm reaction. Before the match starts, Sunny comes out to serve as the guest timekeeper. A flimsy excuse to bring her out, but I'm not complaining. Lockup to start, Leif and Rocky start trading blows with Rocky eventually getting the better of the exchange and clotheslining Leif over the top rope. Leif comes back in and the two start trading holds. While the two are wrestling, we get an interview with Hunter Hearst Helmsley in the back, who says a lot of words but the basic gist of the message is that he will defeat Rocky Maivia for his I/C Title and Goldust for getting involved in his match with Maivia last night. Back to action, and Leif starts to do a lot of holds on the left arm of Rocky. Rocky nearly gets the pinfall after a rollup, but a thumb to the eye turns the momentum back Leif's way. After some more work on the arm, Rocky recovers long enough to get a pair of two counts with various pinning holds. However, an armbar DDT from Cassidy gives the challenger the advantage. Cassidy goes to the top after a body slam, and hits a diving axe-handle on Rocky. That gets two. Cassidy decides that since it worked before, it will work again and climbs the top rope, but this time Rocky recovers and throws Cassidy off the top. Some fists follow from Rocky, then the champ hits a cross body block from the top rope, but doesn't go for the cover. Instead, Rocky decides to finish Cassidy off with a running shoulderbreaker, and that proves to be the winning move, as Rocky retains his title. Post-match, Sunny rings the bell, while Jerry Lawler goes on a rant about ECW thanks to some fan waving an "ECW Rules" sign in his face. For some reason, Lawler compares the wrestlers of ECW to the denizins of 'Escape from New York', referring to them as a bunch of misfits who couldn't make it in the WWF. Of course, about half the roster would sign WWF contracts at some point, but whatever. Lawler concludes his diatribe by challenging the ECW wrestlers to show up on next week's Raw. Anyway, the match was decent enough, even if the audience weren't too interested in either man and therefore, seemed bored by the match.
Hey, Jesse James was on TNN's Prime Time Country a few days prior, so good for him. Kevin Kelly is out in the ring and introduces Goldust and Marlena for an interview. Goldust is not too thrilled about Hunter Hearst Helmsley's obsession over Marlena, and promises to make Hunter pay for his indecent proposal. Goldust continues his point by stating that the only way Hunter will get to Marlena is over his dead body. Marlena gets the mic, and proclaims that despite all the weird actions and psycho head games, Goldust is all man and more of a man than HHH will ever be. Well then. That brings Helmsley out, and the two men jaw at each other for a while before Hunter grabs a drink and throws it in Goldust's eyes. Helmsley then pounds away on Goldust before laying him out with the Pedigree. Marlena is none too thrilled about this turn of events, so she slaps HHH. Helmsley looks back in anger, but WAITAMINUTE, a female 'fan' jumps over the guardrail and puts Marlena in a reverse bearhug, shaking Marlena like a ragdoll. That 'fan' would later be known as Chyna, but the announcers had no idea who she was at this point in time. Marlena has to be carried to the back by Goldust.
The Headbangers come out to the ring to face the Hardy Boys, who are not high enough on the card to even receive a proper entrance. The Headbangers waste no time by going right after the Hardys before the bell rings. Jeff gets a couple of moves in early, but after he tags in Matt the Headbangers take control of the match. During the middle of the match, we go to the back where Faarooq and the rest of the NOD are interviewed. Faarooq claims that Ahmed Johnson is not a man of the streets, but that Ahmed is lucky since "most people have to die to go to hell, but you're already in it". Faarooq also claims to be Ahmed's devil and the Nation are his demons. Faarooq finishes the interview by challenging Johnson to a 'Chicago Street Fight'. Back to the match, and the Headbangers are punishing match with moves such as a bodyslam into the ropes and a cross body block from the top. Thrasher misses an elbow drop, which gives Matt a chance to tag in Jeff. Jeff throws a couple of dropkicks at the Headbangers, but takes a big bump off a Mosh clothesline. Mosh sets Jeff up for a powerbomb, and Thrasher comes off the top with a legdrop for the Stage Dive, which gets the three count. Not a bad match, but nothing memorable.
Up next is the WWF Title match between Bret Hart and Sid. Sid seems to be walking without a limp, so his leg must be fine. The Hitman's music hits, but before he can get to the ring, Steve Austin attacks him in the hallway. Sid comes back there and security must separate the three men. Once again, the title match is delayed. Kevin Kelly is with WWF President Gorilla Monsoon, and despite the delays, Monsoon promises a WWF Title match tonight. EVERYBODY HERE COMES Flash Funk with the Funkettes. He's here to face Slammy Award winner Owen Hart. The two exchange armbars to start the match, then after some other holds, both men try a dropkick at the same time, then have a standoff. While Funk and Owen do a series of Monkey Flips out of a double-knuckle lock, ECW head Paul Heyman calls in the show and tells Jerry Lawler that he and the rest of the ECW athletes will be there on Raw next week. The two trade insults for a minute before Heyman hangs up. Owen knocks Funk down, then tries to go for a sharpshooter, but his manager Clarence Mason is on the apron for some reason. Owen is distracted by this, and Funk dropkicks Hart over the rope. While Owen argues with Mason, Funk dives off the top onto Owen. The British Bulldog comes out, and tells Mason to scram. Back in, Funk gets a two count after a backslide, then Owen gets a two count after a German suplex with a bridge. Stone Cold Steve Austin is interviewed next, and I'm really getting tired of every match being interrupted by an interview. Stone Cold feels he should be champion because he won the Royal Rumble and Shawn Michaels vacated the title, so in protest he will open up a keg of whoop-ass upon the WWF. Back to action, and Owen tries for a splash in the corner, but misses. Funk goes on the attack with a back drop, then gets a two count after a cross body block from the top rope. Funk slams Owen down a goes back to the top, where he connects with a moonsault. Somehow, Owen kicked out of that as well. Owen reverses a Funk Irish whip, and Bulldog hits Funk in the back with the Slammy Award, allowing Owen to hit a spinning heel kick and get the three count, with Bulldog holding Funk's legs down from the apron. Good match between two good wrestlers, even if the constant interruptions detracted slightly from the action.
Beehtoven's Ode to Joy plays through the loudspeaker as Hunter Hearst Helmsley comes out for his match. A video recap of Chyna's actions against Marlena plays before Bart Gunn is introduced as Helmsley's opponent. Meanwhile, the Honky Tonk Man is the guest commentator for this match for some reason. While Helmsley's standing in front of the announcer's table, J.R. takes this opportunity to ask about the mysterious woman attacking Marlena, and Triple-H denies any association with said woman. The match starts with some arm wringers by both men while HTM talks about his quest to find the next great superstar to mentor. Helmsley takes a dropkick to the mouth from Bart, who then follows up with an armbar while J.R. plugs the WWF Hotline. I really don't care much about this match, and neither do the announcers as they talk about everything but the match. Eventually, Goldust runs in and chases Helmsley through the stands, giving Bart Gunn a countout victory which was probably forgotten by the next show. This match was filler and the only purpose was to further the Goldust-Helmsley feud. That said, it was probably the worst match of the night.
A clip of Dr. James Andrews is shown in which he talks about Shawn Michaels's knee injury. Apparently, Michaels may or may not need surgery depending on how the knee responds to four to six weeks of rehab. It is finally time for the WWF Title match between the champion, Bret Hart, and Sycho Sid, provided that Steve Austin does not interfere again. The match starts with both men trading punches, Bret backs Sid in the corner, only for Sid to turn it around and fire away a few shots to the gut. For much of the first few minutes, the match is an exchange of punches and kicks, with a few moves mixed in. Bret uses the Russian leg sweep and the side backbreaker, while Sid employs a short arm clothesline and a backbreaker of his own to great effect. Sid's got Bret trapped in the corner and seems to have the advantage, but Bret remembers that the Sycho one has a bum knee, so he attacks it with kicks at first before going to work on it. Bret has Sid down and drags him to the post, where he first slams the knee against the steel before debuting the ringpost figure-four. I tried that once with a bedpost, but it didn't go too well. Anyway, back from break, and the Hitman still is attacking at Sid's knee. Just when Hart seems to have the advantage, Sid comes back and hits a big clothesline. He follows that up with a legdrop for a two count. Sid slams Bret hard down on the mat, then climbs to the second rope. This seems like a bad idea, but Sid, after nearly slipping, comes down with a leg drop that sort of connects and gets another two count. A chokeslam is attempted by Sid, but Hart gets out of that and backs Sid against the ropes. He charges for a cross body block, but Sid moves and Hart hits the ropes instead. Sid goes to attack, but Bret uses a back drop in desperation to dump Sid out of the ring. WAITAMINUTE! It's Austin again from the crowd, but Sid has none of that and punches Stone Cold in the face before getting back up on the apron. Sid tries a sunset flip, and remarkably, it's looks rather decent, but Hart rolls through and locks on the Sharpshooter. While the ref is checking on Sid, Austin gets on the apron and hits the Hitman with a chair behind the ref's back. One powerbomb later, and we have a new WWF Champion. Post-match, Sid celebrates, but is interrupted by the Undertaker, and the two big men have a staredown as the show closes. Good match, although it was slightly hurt by Sid forgetting to sell his injury. Still, the best match of the night.
Overall, this show was kind of a mixed bag. On one hand, the Hart-Sid storyline and match was compelling, and Owen and Flash Funk had a pretty decent match as well. On the other hand, a lot of the other matches were just pointless filler, and I was really getting annoyed by all the constant interviews interrupting the matches, especially when the subject had nothing to do with the match at all. I guess this was a decent show, so I'll give it a 5.5 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading. Remember, if you have any ideas for future posts at the Canon Review, than send them to me either by leaving a comment, by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com, or by telling me if you happen to find yourself talking to me.
Owen Hart vs. Flash Funk - WWF Raw 2/17/97 by smarkschoice
Showing posts with label Bret Hart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bret Hart. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Canon Review List-A-Mania: The Top Ten Wrestling Books
Well, as you could probably tell by the title, here is a list of the top ten wrestling books according to The Canon Review. In case you were wondering, the worst wrestling book I've ever read all the way through is Hulk Hogan's first book, which is so full of tall tales and outright lies that it's hard to believe anything the book says. Also, I once read five pages of 'If They Only Knew' by Chyna and couldn't believe how bad it was. As for the top ten wrestling books, well, here they are:
10. Foley is Good: And the Real World is Faker Than Wrestling by Mick Foley
The second of Foley's four autobiographies (note: how many people have written four autobiographies?) Foley is Good chronicles the career of Mick Foley from 1999-2000, a period in which he held the WWF Title three times and main evented Wrestlemania before retiring as an active competitor. While not up to par with Mick Foley's first book, Foley is Good is an entertaining and in-depth book, and Foley's defense of the WWF against groups like the PTC at the end of the book provides a few intriguing items to think about. Plus, Foley isn't nearly as self-righteous as he would come off in his next two books, so that's nice.
9. The Death of WCW by R.D. Reynolds and Bryan Alvarez
A collaberation between the creators of Wrestlecrap.com and Figure Four Weekly, the Death of WCW is an in-depth look at, what else, the death of WCW. This book is both quite informative and humorous at times as it details some of the absurd things going on in WCW over the years, such as paying Lanny Poffo a huge salary even though he only made one appearance in the company. The only problem I have with this book is that a lot of the backstage activities in the book seem to be based more on rumor than fact, as the authors credit very little sources other than interviews with people that may of had a bias. Still, this is an interesting book to read about one of the most fascinating stories in wrestling history.
8. WWE Encyclopedia by Brian Shields and Kevin Sullivan
Yes, there are a few notable omissions in this book, but the WWE Enyclopedia is a very thorough listing of nearly every WWE wrestler, pay-per-view, championships, and everything else WWE. Each wrestler featured, from Beaver Cleavage to The Rock, gets a photo and a description of their WWE tenure. The WWE Encylcopedia is both an informative reference and a blast to flip pages through.
7. Tributes/Tributes II by Dave Meltzer
Ok, so I kind of cheated and put 11 books on this list, but so what? Anyway, both of these books are written by Wrestling Observer founder Dave Meltzer and both books have numerous profiles about wrestlers that had passed away, such as Owen Hart, Andre the Giant, Curt Hennig, and Freddie Blassie. After reading both books, I found that the first book had better editing and more photos, while the second book featured slightly more detailed profiles. However, both books are really well done and are very informative looks at a variety of wrestlers, so I really couldn't pick between the two.
6. Cheating Death, Stealing Life by Eddie Guerrero
Written just before his untimely death in 2005, Cheating Death, Stealing Life is an in-depth and personal look at the life and wrestling career of Eddie Guerrero. Guerrero chronicles his problems with substance abuse, which nearly cost him both his career and his life on a number of occasions, as well as the struggle to 'get clean' and become one of the best wrestlers on the planet. Guerrero pulls no punches in this book, as he is very honest about his struggles and the personal problems he endured over the years. It's a great book, although it is kind of sad that Eddie passed away before it was released.
5. Pure Dynamite: The Price you Pay for Wrestling Stardom by Tom Billington
One of the first wrestling autobiographies to hit the market, Billington, a.k.a. The Dynamite Kid, gives a brutally honest account about his life as a wrestling superstar and the struggles he's gone through after injuries and drug problems left him a broken man. Billington is quite candid in this book, as he blames himself for his actions instead of trying to justify it with excuse after excuse, and is unafraid to call others out if he feels they deserve it. A very good book that I fell has been forgotten about a little over the years.
4. Undisputed: How to Become the World Champion in 1,372 Easy Steps by Chris Jericho
Hey, I just reviewed this book earlier this month, so there isn't a whole lot I can say here that I didn't say earlier, other than that if you are a wrestling fan, then I suggest you read this book as soon as physically and fiscally possible.
3. Hitman: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling by Bret Hart
Hitman is probably the most in-depth wrestling autobiography of all time, and Hart writes the entire story in his own words, from his childhood growing up in the crazy Hart family, to wrestling for his father's company, to his rise in WWF, and his fall from grace and medical problems that caused his retirement and nearly cost him his life. Hart writes his book in an honest and frank manner, and doesn't pull any punches when it comes to wrestlers like Bad News Brown, Shawn Michaels, or even his own family members like Bruce Hart. It's a great read, although I did feel that Bret was a little full of himself and his constant attempts to justify his affairs on the road became tiresome after a while. Still, highly recommended reading for all wrestling fans.
2. Have a Nice Day: A Tale of Blood and Sweatsocks by Mick Foley
Perhaps the most famous wrestling book, Have A Nice Day is Mick Foley's first autobiography and was a fixture on the New York Times best selling list in 1999. The book covers everything in Foley's life from his childhood, to training under Dominic DeNucci, to struggling in the territores, to his stints in WCW and ECW and finally his rise in the WWF, culminating in winning the World Title for the first time. Along the way, Foley shows a great sense of humor and a remarkable talent for writing that is only surpassed slightly by his wrestling skills. Yes, Foley's other three books have not come close to the standard of Have a Nice Day, but I can't think of many autobiographies in any subject that come close to the greatness of this book.
1. A Lion's Tale: Around the World in Spandex by Chris Jericho
Ever since getting this book for Christmas back in 2008, I must have read this book five times, as it's just that great. Jericho displays a great sense of humor and a talent for storytelling in this book about his travels all across the world, trying to realize his dream of becoming a wrestling superstar. From Jericho's adventures training at the Hart Brothers Training Camp, to his tales of wrestling in Germany, Mexico, and Japan, to his time in ECW and the highs and lows of working in WCW, A Lion's Tale is a hilarious and yet sincere look at Chris Jericho and his lifelong quest to reach the top of the wrestling world. My favorite wrestling book, and probably one of my five favorite books period.
Well, that's all for this list. If you agree of disagree with any of the selections on this list, then I implore you to share your thoughts by leaving a comment on the blog or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com
10. Foley is Good: And the Real World is Faker Than Wrestling by Mick Foley
The second of Foley's four autobiographies (note: how many people have written four autobiographies?) Foley is Good chronicles the career of Mick Foley from 1999-2000, a period in which he held the WWF Title three times and main evented Wrestlemania before retiring as an active competitor. While not up to par with Mick Foley's first book, Foley is Good is an entertaining and in-depth book, and Foley's defense of the WWF against groups like the PTC at the end of the book provides a few intriguing items to think about. Plus, Foley isn't nearly as self-righteous as he would come off in his next two books, so that's nice.
9. The Death of WCW by R.D. Reynolds and Bryan Alvarez
A collaberation between the creators of Wrestlecrap.com and Figure Four Weekly, the Death of WCW is an in-depth look at, what else, the death of WCW. This book is both quite informative and humorous at times as it details some of the absurd things going on in WCW over the years, such as paying Lanny Poffo a huge salary even though he only made one appearance in the company. The only problem I have with this book is that a lot of the backstage activities in the book seem to be based more on rumor than fact, as the authors credit very little sources other than interviews with people that may of had a bias. Still, this is an interesting book to read about one of the most fascinating stories in wrestling history.
8. WWE Encyclopedia by Brian Shields and Kevin Sullivan
Yes, there are a few notable omissions in this book, but the WWE Enyclopedia is a very thorough listing of nearly every WWE wrestler, pay-per-view, championships, and everything else WWE. Each wrestler featured, from Beaver Cleavage to The Rock, gets a photo and a description of their WWE tenure. The WWE Encylcopedia is both an informative reference and a blast to flip pages through.
7. Tributes/Tributes II by Dave Meltzer
Ok, so I kind of cheated and put 11 books on this list, but so what? Anyway, both of these books are written by Wrestling Observer founder Dave Meltzer and both books have numerous profiles about wrestlers that had passed away, such as Owen Hart, Andre the Giant, Curt Hennig, and Freddie Blassie. After reading both books, I found that the first book had better editing and more photos, while the second book featured slightly more detailed profiles. However, both books are really well done and are very informative looks at a variety of wrestlers, so I really couldn't pick between the two.
6. Cheating Death, Stealing Life by Eddie Guerrero
Written just before his untimely death in 2005, Cheating Death, Stealing Life is an in-depth and personal look at the life and wrestling career of Eddie Guerrero. Guerrero chronicles his problems with substance abuse, which nearly cost him both his career and his life on a number of occasions, as well as the struggle to 'get clean' and become one of the best wrestlers on the planet. Guerrero pulls no punches in this book, as he is very honest about his struggles and the personal problems he endured over the years. It's a great book, although it is kind of sad that Eddie passed away before it was released.
5. Pure Dynamite: The Price you Pay for Wrestling Stardom by Tom Billington
One of the first wrestling autobiographies to hit the market, Billington, a.k.a. The Dynamite Kid, gives a brutally honest account about his life as a wrestling superstar and the struggles he's gone through after injuries and drug problems left him a broken man. Billington is quite candid in this book, as he blames himself for his actions instead of trying to justify it with excuse after excuse, and is unafraid to call others out if he feels they deserve it. A very good book that I fell has been forgotten about a little over the years.
4. Undisputed: How to Become the World Champion in 1,372 Easy Steps by Chris Jericho
Hey, I just reviewed this book earlier this month, so there isn't a whole lot I can say here that I didn't say earlier, other than that if you are a wrestling fan, then I suggest you read this book as soon as physically and fiscally possible.
3. Hitman: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling by Bret Hart
Hitman is probably the most in-depth wrestling autobiography of all time, and Hart writes the entire story in his own words, from his childhood growing up in the crazy Hart family, to wrestling for his father's company, to his rise in WWF, and his fall from grace and medical problems that caused his retirement and nearly cost him his life. Hart writes his book in an honest and frank manner, and doesn't pull any punches when it comes to wrestlers like Bad News Brown, Shawn Michaels, or even his own family members like Bruce Hart. It's a great read, although I did feel that Bret was a little full of himself and his constant attempts to justify his affairs on the road became tiresome after a while. Still, highly recommended reading for all wrestling fans.
2. Have a Nice Day: A Tale of Blood and Sweatsocks by Mick Foley
Perhaps the most famous wrestling book, Have A Nice Day is Mick Foley's first autobiography and was a fixture on the New York Times best selling list in 1999. The book covers everything in Foley's life from his childhood, to training under Dominic DeNucci, to struggling in the territores, to his stints in WCW and ECW and finally his rise in the WWF, culminating in winning the World Title for the first time. Along the way, Foley shows a great sense of humor and a remarkable talent for writing that is only surpassed slightly by his wrestling skills. Yes, Foley's other three books have not come close to the standard of Have a Nice Day, but I can't think of many autobiographies in any subject that come close to the greatness of this book.
1. A Lion's Tale: Around the World in Spandex by Chris Jericho
Ever since getting this book for Christmas back in 2008, I must have read this book five times, as it's just that great. Jericho displays a great sense of humor and a talent for storytelling in this book about his travels all across the world, trying to realize his dream of becoming a wrestling superstar. From Jericho's adventures training at the Hart Brothers Training Camp, to his tales of wrestling in Germany, Mexico, and Japan, to his time in ECW and the highs and lows of working in WCW, A Lion's Tale is a hilarious and yet sincere look at Chris Jericho and his lifelong quest to reach the top of the wrestling world. My favorite wrestling book, and probably one of my five favorite books period.
Well, that's all for this list. If you agree of disagree with any of the selections on this list, then I implore you to share your thoughts by leaving a comment on the blog or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Canon Wrestling Review: The Many Faces of Barry Darsow
First of all, sorry for my lack of activity around here the last couple of days. Things have been a little crazy around here as of late, so I just have not had the time to dedicate myself to such pursuits like today's review, which is a discussion of wrestler Barry Darsow and some of his matches. Darsow is a veteran wrestler who has competed under a variety of names. He was Krusher Kruschev in the NWA, then he went to the WWF and played Smash in the famed tag team Demolition. When that ran it's course, Darsow became the Repo Man for a short spell, before going to the WCW as the Blacktop Bully. That didn't last long, but Darsow came back to WCW to compete under his real name and perfected the Barely Legal armbar. So in recognition of his versatility, I have decided to scour the internet and watch a match featuring Darsow under each of his gimmicks.
Match 1: Krusher Kruschev vs. Denny Brown (Worldwide, June 15, 1985) - The former junior heavyweight champion Denny Brown takes on the much larger Russian sympathizer Kruschev, who is accompanied by Ivan Koloff. Brown frustrates Kruschev by dodging his various attacks and keeping the bigger man on the move. A dropkick by Brown knocks Kruschev back, but not down. Irish whip by Kruschev, who then tries to follow with a clothesline. However, Brown ducks between Kruschev's legs and lands another dropkick, this one knocking the big man down. But Kruschev is up quickly, and backs Brown against a corner before delivering a few body punches. Body slam by Kruschev, but Brown moves out of the way of an elbow drop. But Brown does not follow up, and Krusher goes for an eye gouge. Krusher knocks Brown down with a big punch to the gut, then puts his opponent in a half chinlock-half armbar manuever. Krusher follows up with a pair of shoulderblocks, but Brown ducks out of the way of a third and Kruschev hits the turnbuckle hard. Brown tries to capitalize by whipping Krusher into the other corner, but Kruschev recovers quickly and nearly takes Brown's head off with a clothesline. That's enough to get the victory. Match was an entertaining squash, at least. I'll give it a 1.95 out of 5.
Match 2: Demolition (Ax and Smash) w/ Mr. Fuji and Jimmy Hart vs. The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart) - Summer Slam 1988 - This match is for Demolition's Tag Team Titles. Bret and Ax start off the match. Ax overpowers the Hitman with a series of ax handles, but Hart fires back with some punches for Ax and Smash. Rollup by Hart gets two, and Ax tags out. Smash is a little too eager and Hart arm drags him a couple of times before tagging out to Anvil. Neidhart takes Smash down with a flying axe handle, and uses brawling tactics to keep Smash reeling. A huge shoulderblock by Neidhart on Smash, and Neidhart bounces off the ropes again only for Ax to nail him with a kick from the apron. Quick tags from Ax and Smash, who beat the big Anvil down with a whole bunch of double ax handles to the back. The tide quickly turns after Neidhart catches a ducking Ax with a boot, and tags out to the Hitman. Dropkick for Smash, and the Harts are in control. But Jimmy Hart distracts the Anvil, and Demoliton uses it to their advantage by whipping Hart hard shoulder first into the ring post.
For the next few minutes, Demolition works over Hart's shoulder with a series of punches, kicks, holds, and pulls, keeping Bret trapped in their corner and using quick tags to keep fresh. Finally, after a few minutes, Hart is able to clothesline Ax down and tag out to the Anvil, but the referee does not see it. So, the punishment on Hart commences, until Hart gets a knee up into a charging Ax's face. Now Bret gets the tag to Neidhart, and Neidhart starts cleaning house with dropkicks and clotheslines and various other strikes. Both Demos are on the outside, so Hart slingshots Neidhart out to a standing Smash, launching Neidhart to hit a perfect pescado on his opponent. Back in, a powerslam by Neidhart on Smash almost gets a three count, but Smash kicks out to save the titles for his team. Tag into Hart, and he whips Neidhart hard into a corner-bound smash, so Neidhart delivers a shoulderblock to Smash's gut. That also gets a two count. All four men are in now, and Fuji gets on the apron, only to get nailed by Neidhart. However, the distraction allows Hart to throw his megaphone into Ax, who then clobbers Hart in the head with the foreign object for the three count. Match wasn't too bad, but probably not the best between the two teams. Still, I'd give it a 3.2 out of 5.
Match 3: Repo Man vs. Papa Shango, Prime Time Wrestling, December 14, 1992 - A rare heel vs. heel match for this time period. Shango comes out with a big skull on a stick and is accompanied by a bunch of smoke, and the match begins. Shango overpowers Repo Man and the corner and lands some punches and headbutts. Papa follows up with a big clothesline and a top wristlock, backing Repo into the corner. Shango tries for the Ho Train, but Repo Man moves out of the way. Repo gets the advantage, landing a bunch of punches, including one to the throat that knocks Shango down. He follows up with a legdrop and then a top wristlock for Shango, but Shango gets out of it and body slams Repo Man down to the canvas. Afterwards, the two men trade blows and a double clothesline knocks both competitors down to the mat. Shango crawls to the corner to get his 'voodoo stick', as Gorilla Monsoon calls it, and uses it to shoot sparks in the sky. That causes Repo Man to get his rope and hook, and the ref decides to call the match off before somebody loses an eye. Match wasn't all that good. I'd give it a 1.2 out of 5.
Match 4: Barry Darsow vs. Saturn, WCW Thunder, May 27, 1998 - This match is between two bald men, so no hair-pulling in this match. Headlock by Saturn to start, but he's whipped into the ropes. Howevver, Saturn catches Darsow with a kick to the gut and a legsweep, and follows up with another headlock. That proves to be a mistake, as Darsow lifts Saturn up and delivers a back suplex, landing hard on his head in the process. Darsow misses a clothesline and walks into an exploder suplex. After some kicks and punches are exchanged, Darsow gets a clothesline and a two count. Darsow uses various brawling tactics to keep control of the match, and then takes it to the outside, where he throws Saturn shoulder-first into the ring post. The announcers are actually talking about the match and trying to get Darsow's finisher, the Barely Legal armbar over. That's a refreshing change from their usual talk of whatever Hulk Hogan's doing at the time, even if he's not at the show. But I digress. Saturn ducks another clothesline attempt and bounces off the ropes with a spinning heel kick. Saturn then tries for a move in the corner, but doesn't connect. Darsow starts going to work on Saturn's arm and uses a shoulder breaker to further weaken the arm. Darsow goes for Barely Legal, but Saturn gets to the ropes, much to the dismay of Darsow, who starts arguing with the ref. This proves to be a huge mistake, as Saturn gets up and delivers a superkick to Darsow. Saturn follows up with the Death Valley Driver, and the match is over after the three count. Not too bad, considering how short it was. I'd give it a 1.9 out of 5.
Well, I guess I could do a Blacktop Bully match, but I don't want to. In all seriousness. Darsow may not have been the most spectacular wrestler to ever live, but he was a solid wrestler who knew what to do in the ring and rarely made mistakes. I'm not saying he was World Championship material, but he was more than competent enough for a mid-card wrestler. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any thoughts about these matches or feelings about Barry Darsow, then feel free to leave a comment on the blog. Also, if you have an idea for a future review, then send it to me at kthec2001@gmail.com.
Match 1: Krusher Kruschev vs. Denny Brown (Worldwide, June 15, 1985) - The former junior heavyweight champion Denny Brown takes on the much larger Russian sympathizer Kruschev, who is accompanied by Ivan Koloff. Brown frustrates Kruschev by dodging his various attacks and keeping the bigger man on the move. A dropkick by Brown knocks Kruschev back, but not down. Irish whip by Kruschev, who then tries to follow with a clothesline. However, Brown ducks between Kruschev's legs and lands another dropkick, this one knocking the big man down. But Kruschev is up quickly, and backs Brown against a corner before delivering a few body punches. Body slam by Kruschev, but Brown moves out of the way of an elbow drop. But Brown does not follow up, and Krusher goes for an eye gouge. Krusher knocks Brown down with a big punch to the gut, then puts his opponent in a half chinlock-half armbar manuever. Krusher follows up with a pair of shoulderblocks, but Brown ducks out of the way of a third and Kruschev hits the turnbuckle hard. Brown tries to capitalize by whipping Krusher into the other corner, but Kruschev recovers quickly and nearly takes Brown's head off with a clothesline. That's enough to get the victory. Match was an entertaining squash, at least. I'll give it a 1.95 out of 5.
Match 2: Demolition (Ax and Smash) w/ Mr. Fuji and Jimmy Hart vs. The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart) - Summer Slam 1988 - This match is for Demolition's Tag Team Titles. Bret and Ax start off the match. Ax overpowers the Hitman with a series of ax handles, but Hart fires back with some punches for Ax and Smash. Rollup by Hart gets two, and Ax tags out. Smash is a little too eager and Hart arm drags him a couple of times before tagging out to Anvil. Neidhart takes Smash down with a flying axe handle, and uses brawling tactics to keep Smash reeling. A huge shoulderblock by Neidhart on Smash, and Neidhart bounces off the ropes again only for Ax to nail him with a kick from the apron. Quick tags from Ax and Smash, who beat the big Anvil down with a whole bunch of double ax handles to the back. The tide quickly turns after Neidhart catches a ducking Ax with a boot, and tags out to the Hitman. Dropkick for Smash, and the Harts are in control. But Jimmy Hart distracts the Anvil, and Demoliton uses it to their advantage by whipping Hart hard shoulder first into the ring post.
For the next few minutes, Demolition works over Hart's shoulder with a series of punches, kicks, holds, and pulls, keeping Bret trapped in their corner and using quick tags to keep fresh. Finally, after a few minutes, Hart is able to clothesline Ax down and tag out to the Anvil, but the referee does not see it. So, the punishment on Hart commences, until Hart gets a knee up into a charging Ax's face. Now Bret gets the tag to Neidhart, and Neidhart starts cleaning house with dropkicks and clotheslines and various other strikes. Both Demos are on the outside, so Hart slingshots Neidhart out to a standing Smash, launching Neidhart to hit a perfect pescado on his opponent. Back in, a powerslam by Neidhart on Smash almost gets a three count, but Smash kicks out to save the titles for his team. Tag into Hart, and he whips Neidhart hard into a corner-bound smash, so Neidhart delivers a shoulderblock to Smash's gut. That also gets a two count. All four men are in now, and Fuji gets on the apron, only to get nailed by Neidhart. However, the distraction allows Hart to throw his megaphone into Ax, who then clobbers Hart in the head with the foreign object for the three count. Match wasn't too bad, but probably not the best between the two teams. Still, I'd give it a 3.2 out of 5.
Match 3: Repo Man vs. Papa Shango, Prime Time Wrestling, December 14, 1992 - A rare heel vs. heel match for this time period. Shango comes out with a big skull on a stick and is accompanied by a bunch of smoke, and the match begins. Shango overpowers Repo Man and the corner and lands some punches and headbutts. Papa follows up with a big clothesline and a top wristlock, backing Repo into the corner. Shango tries for the Ho Train, but Repo Man moves out of the way. Repo gets the advantage, landing a bunch of punches, including one to the throat that knocks Shango down. He follows up with a legdrop and then a top wristlock for Shango, but Shango gets out of it and body slams Repo Man down to the canvas. Afterwards, the two men trade blows and a double clothesline knocks both competitors down to the mat. Shango crawls to the corner to get his 'voodoo stick', as Gorilla Monsoon calls it, and uses it to shoot sparks in the sky. That causes Repo Man to get his rope and hook, and the ref decides to call the match off before somebody loses an eye. Match wasn't all that good. I'd give it a 1.2 out of 5.
Match 4: Barry Darsow vs. Saturn, WCW Thunder, May 27, 1998 - This match is between two bald men, so no hair-pulling in this match. Headlock by Saturn to start, but he's whipped into the ropes. Howevver, Saturn catches Darsow with a kick to the gut and a legsweep, and follows up with another headlock. That proves to be a mistake, as Darsow lifts Saturn up and delivers a back suplex, landing hard on his head in the process. Darsow misses a clothesline and walks into an exploder suplex. After some kicks and punches are exchanged, Darsow gets a clothesline and a two count. Darsow uses various brawling tactics to keep control of the match, and then takes it to the outside, where he throws Saturn shoulder-first into the ring post. The announcers are actually talking about the match and trying to get Darsow's finisher, the Barely Legal armbar over. That's a refreshing change from their usual talk of whatever Hulk Hogan's doing at the time, even if he's not at the show. But I digress. Saturn ducks another clothesline attempt and bounces off the ropes with a spinning heel kick. Saturn then tries for a move in the corner, but doesn't connect. Darsow starts going to work on Saturn's arm and uses a shoulder breaker to further weaken the arm. Darsow goes for Barely Legal, but Saturn gets to the ropes, much to the dismay of Darsow, who starts arguing with the ref. This proves to be a huge mistake, as Saturn gets up and delivers a superkick to Darsow. Saturn follows up with the Death Valley Driver, and the match is over after the three count. Not too bad, considering how short it was. I'd give it a 1.9 out of 5.
Well, I guess I could do a Blacktop Bully match, but I don't want to. In all seriousness. Darsow may not have been the most spectacular wrestler to ever live, but he was a solid wrestler who knew what to do in the ring and rarely made mistakes. I'm not saying he was World Championship material, but he was more than competent enough for a mid-card wrestler. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any thoughts about these matches or feelings about Barry Darsow, then feel free to leave a comment on the blog. Also, if you have an idea for a future review, then send it to me at kthec2001@gmail.com.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Canon Wrestling Review: WWF Monday Night Raw: June 30, 1997
Well, the Braves have ticked me off over the last two days, so I have decided to let out some frustration by watching some pro wrestling. In this case, it is the June 30, 1997 episode of Monday Night Raw, which features Jim Neidhart in the main event, so it's got to be a great episode. Let's get ready to rumble, shall we?
A video detailing the relationship between Paul Bearer and the Undertaker plays to begin the show. Paul Bearer has promised to reveal a deep dark secret that will destroy the Undertaker. I guess that didn't work, since the Undertaker is still around today. The intro plays, and tonight's announcers are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Jerry Lawler. "The World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock comes out to face off against Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who comes out to Beethoven's 'Ode to Joy'. I still think that was his best theme song. A video plays of Chyna proclaiming herself the World's Most Dangerous Woman, and the match starts. Shamrock frustrates Helmsley with a pair of arm drags and a arm lock. Triple-H gets the advantage with an eye gouge, and goes to stomping Shamrock in the corner until the ref has enough and pulls him out by his hair. So Triple-H changes tactics, using a running knee lift and a knee drop to get a two count. Both men are back up, and Helmsley is able to catch a running Shamrock and throw him to the outside of the ring. Triple-H distracts the ref, allowing Chyna to whip Shamrock hard into the steps. Back in, it looks as if Helmsley is about to put Shamrock away, but here comes Mankind, who distracts Helmsley. This proves to be unfortunate for Triple-H, as Shamrock uses a belly-to-belly suplex to pin Triple-H. Helmsley leaves yelling at a Mankind as Jim Ross promotes their match at the next pay-per-view six days from this episode. Match was decent enough, but too short. I'll give it a 1.9 out of 5.
A video package of Ahmed Johnson plays, as Ahmed had recently joined the Nation of Domination and turned on the Undertaker. Last week, while Ahmed tried to explain why he joined the NOD, the Disciples of Apocalypse debuted and got into a big brouhaha with the NOD, and Ahmed walked too fast and tore his knee up, costing the big Johnson his title shot at the Undertaker. Ahmed promises revenge against the DOA and the Undertaker, and says some other stuff I couldn't really understand.
Up next is Michael Cole, who apparently is cool these days since he's a heel, interviewing the Legion of Doom about their upcoming tag match with Faroouq and D'Lo Brown of the NOD. Hawk promises to turn the Nation into small animal excrement. That's nice. The match is next, but before that Sunny shows a casket full of money that the WWF is giving away. Yes, I said casket full of money. The two teams come out in a semifinal match of a tournament to determine the number one contenders to the tag titles, and the Legion takes control of Faroouq early. A tag out to D'Lo doesn't do much good, as Hawk suplexes Brown down to the mat. D'Lo gets the advantage after catching a ducking Hawk with a boot to the face, and takes control for a minute or so with stomps and punches. Hawk is able to catch D'Lo with a swinging neckbreaker, and tags out to Animal. The Godwins come out and watch from the stage as Hawk and Faroouq brawl on the outside. Doomsday Device on D'Lo, and man that move is dangerous, as Henry Godwin could attest to. Speaking of which, apparently Mr. Godwin is upset about having his neck broken a few months before due to the Device, so he clobbers Hawk in the back of the head with his trusty slopbucket while the ref isn't looking. Faroouq gets the pin after the interference, and the L.O.D. chases after the Godwins. Match wasn't really bad, it was just boring. I'll give it a 1.5 out of 5.
The Nation, however, is not done, as they call Vince McMahon up and blast his decision to give Vader the title shot that Ahmed Johnson originally had instead of one of them. Yeah, like people would pay to see the Undertaker vs. Kama or D'Lo. Savio Vega has had enough of Faroouq's talking, and the recently displaced Nation member informs Faroouq that he was not fired, but rather he quit. Well, whatever gets you through the night. Faroouq challenges Savio to bring it, and Savio does, along with a few of his friends. This moment marks the birth of the greatest stable in wrestling history, Los Boriquas. They brawl with the Nation some, and here comes the Disciples of Apocalypse, to a rather large pop, I must say. Everybody brawls with each other until security breaks it up and we go to commercial.
Michael Cole interviews Savio and his friends, and Savio declares his group Los Boriquas before everyone starts yelling at the mic for whatever reason. Up next is a match between Scott Putski and Brian Christopher. Putski looks jacked to the gills during this period. Putski takes control early on with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex and a sidewalk slam. Christopher gets the advantage back with the Skull Crushing Finale. He follows that up with a dropkick from the second rope and a nice northern lights release suplex. Christopher tries to hurracanrana Putski, but gets powerbombed for his efforts. Putski follows that up with a series a clotheslines and a big splash from the top rope. Christopher's father Jerry Lawler gets on the apron. Christopher charges at Putski, but instead Putski ducks and knocks his father off the apron. Putski scoops up Christopher, but is tripped by Lawler and lands on his head as Christopher rolls him up for the three count. Afterwards, father and son beat down on Putski, as Jerry tells Scott to inform his father, the legendary Ivan Putski, that the only thing good to come out of Poland was an empty boat. Well then. Match was fast paced with a lot of moves in a short time, but nothing was really linked together. Still, not too bad. I'll give it a 2.5 out of 5.
The Undertaker is in the back, and he asks for the fans to let him tell his side of the story after Paul Bearer reveals his dark secret. A video montage of the Great Sasuke is shown, promoting his debut at Canadian Stampede. Brain Pillman is out, and a video is shown of his comments prior to his match with Mankind, where he promises to show Marv Albert and Mike Tyson something about biting another human by taking a chunk out of Mankind's good ear. Mankind comes out bearing a gift and wearing a sign that says "Pick Me, Steve", as he really wants to be Austin's tag team partner. Mankind presents the gift to Jim Ross, which is a plaster hand shaped like Mankind's, mandible claw in all. Pillman is not amused, as he takes the hand and beats Mankind with it before throwing it back to Ross, and the match is on. Pillman gets control early, but Mankind gains control with brawling tactics, and then delivers a running knee to a downed Pillman in the corner. The two continue fighting as Triple-H and Chyna show up on the stage. The match goes to the outside, and Pillman uses the referee trying to hold back Mankind as an opportunity to bash Mankind with the ring bell behind the ref's back. Pillman then uses a pencil to stab Mankind with a couple of times before the ref takes it away. Mankind eventually gets the advantage and sets Pillman up against the stairs, but Pillman moves, and Mankind goes knees first into the metal steps. Back in, Pillman fulfills his pre-match promise to bite Mankind's good ear. But Mankind comes back, and eventually drags Pillman over to the ring post, where he slams his bad ankle against the medal post, then crotches Pillman for good measure. The mandible claw is put on Pillman, but here comes Triple-H to break it up while Chyna distracts the ref. That gets a mandible claw for Helmsley on the outside, until Pillman breaks it up by beating Mankind with one of his boots. Pillman tries to hold Mankind up for a chairshot, but Helmsley misses and Pillman takes the chair instead. Mankind goes after Triple-H, but gets counted out as Pillman is able to beat the ref's count, giving Pillman the victory. Interesting match, I'd give it a 2.65 out of 5.
Paul Bearer is in the back, as he promises to deliver the secret that will mark the beginning of the end for the Undertaker. Out comes Mr. Bearer, and before he reaches the ring, a female fan comes out and easily takes down the big man before security drags her away. That was weird. Bearer talks for a while, but the gist of the secret is this, Bearer was working at a funeral home owned by the Undertaker's family, and the Undertaker burned that funeral home down, killing his parents and his brother. Of course, if Bearer did know this, than why was he the Undertaker's manager for six years prior to this? This mystery will keep me up for days. Back from commercial, Vader congratulates Bearer for making his announcement, and Sable and Marc Mero show off the cash casket.
Next is the second semifinal of the tag tournament, as the Headbangers take on Owen Hart and Davey Boy Smith. The Headbangers start with the advantage after a Mosh dropkick and a double pancake on Owen. Thrasher comes in, so does Davey Boy. Thrasher seems to be in control until Owen comes in after a blind tag and lands a spinning heel kick on Thrasher. That gets two. From there, Owen and Davey Boy are in control, as they show off moves such as Davey Boy's stall suplex, a double back elbow, and others, getting a number of two counts in the process. Meanwhile, Bret Hart is on the phone from Calgary, promoting his team's upcoming 10 man tag match at Canadian Stampede. Owen goes for a suplex, but Thrasher counters with a small package, and nearly gets the pin. This does give Thrasher an opening to get the HOT TAG to Mosh, who comes in with body slams, clotheslines, and dropkicks for everybody. Owen's in trouble, as the Headbangers set him up for the stage dive, but Davey Boy crotches Mosh, and Owen is able to roll up Thrasher to get the victory. Match could have used five more minutes to really get going. I'll give it a 1.8 out of 5. Afterwards, Jim Cornette returns, and he's brought a new tag team in. That team turns out to be the Headhunters, who at first brawl with both teams before Davey and Owen just leave. The Headbangers seemed to be in control at first, but a Cornette distraction allows the Headhunters to gain the advantage, and they finish up the brawl with one delivering a diving headbutt that just barely connects, while the other does a pretty nifty moonsault from the top rope.
Time to go back to the Undertaker's locker room, where he offers a rebuttal to Paul Bearer's secret. Taker admits that a fire at the funeral home killed his family, but it was not he, but rather his brother Kane that set the fire inadvertently when he combined matches with embalming fluid. The Undertaker was out doing chores during the day, and once he returned, the funeral home was burned down to the ground. Undertaker also claims that Paul Bearer made the Undertaker look at the charred remains of his family, which is probably not the best thing for a grieving child. Undertaker concludes by saying that he will draw strength from the dead to strike Paul Bearer down. In the hands of most other wrestlers, this would just be ridiculous, but the Undertaker is convincing enough in this speech to make the angle work.
Rockabilly is led out to the ring by the Honky Tonk Man for his match against Vader, who is led to the ring by Paul Bearer. Of all the gimmicks in Billy Gunn's career, Rockabilly just might be the worst. Rockabilly decides not to waste time, so he slams his guitar into Vader's back. That didn't work, as Vader barely flinched and proceeds to pepper Rockabilly with lefts and rights. The Undertaker comes out and beats on Vader while Paul Bearer screams "murderer" at the top of his lungs. That enrages the murderous Undertaker, so he grabs Bearer by the collar and paintbrushes him, demanding to tell the fans the truth. Instead, Bearer reveals another secret, that Taker's brother Kane is alive. Now, 13 years later, and Taker and his 'brother' Kane are still feuding. Anyway, Vader attacks the Undertaker from behind, and then he and Bearer run to the back, with Taker chasing close behind. This wasn't really a match, which is all right since Rockabilly v. Vader isn't that appealing a match anyway.
It's main event time on Raw, as Jim Neidhart is waiting in the ring. Out comes Steve Austin to a DOA-like pop. Neidhart jumps Austin early on, but Austin is able to counter with punches and clotheslines before slamming the Anvil down for a two count. Anvil comes back with a pair of big shoulderblocks, but Austin is Irish Whipped into the ropes, which allows him to Thesz Press the Anvil. Austin tries for a sharpshooter, that doesn't work, so Austin instead sinks in the abdominal stretch. To the outside, and Austin slams Neidhart down on the entrance ramp before the show cuts to commercial.
Back from commercial, and Bret Hart has flown in from Calgary to Des Moines, Iowa in 30 minutes to attack Ken Shamrock in the back. Meanwhile, during the break, Neidhart took control of the match after whipping Austin into the ring steps, and continues to control the action with a series of rest holds and brawling tactics. Austin is able to counter a Neidhart sleeper with a jawbreaker, which gets a two count. However, Neidhart uses his gut to stop Austin's charge and lock in a front face lock. Anvil slams Austin down, but misses a second rope dive. Austin takes control with punches and stomps, before Bret Hart comes out. The Hart Foundation double team Austin and drag him to the post, where Hart locks Austin in his patented ring post figure four, which I'm surprised somebody hasn't lifted the move for their own repertoire. Mankind comes out to rescue Austin, but the rest of the Hart Foundation attack Mankind as the show concludes. Match was rather boring and Neidhart was gassed early on. I'll give it a 1.3 out of 5.
Overall, the show wasn't too bad nor all that great. There were a couple of decent matches, and the Paul Bearer-Undertaker angles were compelling at the very least. Plus, the show marked the debut of the Los Boriquas and the first mention of Kane, so it's quite a historic show. Overall, I'd give the show a 5.35 out of 10. Thanks for reading, and if you have any thoughts about this show or the wrestlers involved, or have an idea for a future review, than feel free to share those either by leaving a comment on the blog or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.
A video detailing the relationship between Paul Bearer and the Undertaker plays to begin the show. Paul Bearer has promised to reveal a deep dark secret that will destroy the Undertaker. I guess that didn't work, since the Undertaker is still around today. The intro plays, and tonight's announcers are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Jerry Lawler. "The World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock comes out to face off against Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who comes out to Beethoven's 'Ode to Joy'. I still think that was his best theme song. A video plays of Chyna proclaiming herself the World's Most Dangerous Woman, and the match starts. Shamrock frustrates Helmsley with a pair of arm drags and a arm lock. Triple-H gets the advantage with an eye gouge, and goes to stomping Shamrock in the corner until the ref has enough and pulls him out by his hair. So Triple-H changes tactics, using a running knee lift and a knee drop to get a two count. Both men are back up, and Helmsley is able to catch a running Shamrock and throw him to the outside of the ring. Triple-H distracts the ref, allowing Chyna to whip Shamrock hard into the steps. Back in, it looks as if Helmsley is about to put Shamrock away, but here comes Mankind, who distracts Helmsley. This proves to be unfortunate for Triple-H, as Shamrock uses a belly-to-belly suplex to pin Triple-H. Helmsley leaves yelling at a Mankind as Jim Ross promotes their match at the next pay-per-view six days from this episode. Match was decent enough, but too short. I'll give it a 1.9 out of 5.
A video package of Ahmed Johnson plays, as Ahmed had recently joined the Nation of Domination and turned on the Undertaker. Last week, while Ahmed tried to explain why he joined the NOD, the Disciples of Apocalypse debuted and got into a big brouhaha with the NOD, and Ahmed walked too fast and tore his knee up, costing the big Johnson his title shot at the Undertaker. Ahmed promises revenge against the DOA and the Undertaker, and says some other stuff I couldn't really understand.
Up next is Michael Cole, who apparently is cool these days since he's a heel, interviewing the Legion of Doom about their upcoming tag match with Faroouq and D'Lo Brown of the NOD. Hawk promises to turn the Nation into small animal excrement. That's nice. The match is next, but before that Sunny shows a casket full of money that the WWF is giving away. Yes, I said casket full of money. The two teams come out in a semifinal match of a tournament to determine the number one contenders to the tag titles, and the Legion takes control of Faroouq early. A tag out to D'Lo doesn't do much good, as Hawk suplexes Brown down to the mat. D'Lo gets the advantage after catching a ducking Hawk with a boot to the face, and takes control for a minute or so with stomps and punches. Hawk is able to catch D'Lo with a swinging neckbreaker, and tags out to Animal. The Godwins come out and watch from the stage as Hawk and Faroouq brawl on the outside. Doomsday Device on D'Lo, and man that move is dangerous, as Henry Godwin could attest to. Speaking of which, apparently Mr. Godwin is upset about having his neck broken a few months before due to the Device, so he clobbers Hawk in the back of the head with his trusty slopbucket while the ref isn't looking. Faroouq gets the pin after the interference, and the L.O.D. chases after the Godwins. Match wasn't really bad, it was just boring. I'll give it a 1.5 out of 5.
The Nation, however, is not done, as they call Vince McMahon up and blast his decision to give Vader the title shot that Ahmed Johnson originally had instead of one of them. Yeah, like people would pay to see the Undertaker vs. Kama or D'Lo. Savio Vega has had enough of Faroouq's talking, and the recently displaced Nation member informs Faroouq that he was not fired, but rather he quit. Well, whatever gets you through the night. Faroouq challenges Savio to bring it, and Savio does, along with a few of his friends. This moment marks the birth of the greatest stable in wrestling history, Los Boriquas. They brawl with the Nation some, and here comes the Disciples of Apocalypse, to a rather large pop, I must say. Everybody brawls with each other until security breaks it up and we go to commercial.
Michael Cole interviews Savio and his friends, and Savio declares his group Los Boriquas before everyone starts yelling at the mic for whatever reason. Up next is a match between Scott Putski and Brian Christopher. Putski looks jacked to the gills during this period. Putski takes control early on with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex and a sidewalk slam. Christopher gets the advantage back with the Skull Crushing Finale. He follows that up with a dropkick from the second rope and a nice northern lights release suplex. Christopher tries to hurracanrana Putski, but gets powerbombed for his efforts. Putski follows that up with a series a clotheslines and a big splash from the top rope. Christopher's father Jerry Lawler gets on the apron. Christopher charges at Putski, but instead Putski ducks and knocks his father off the apron. Putski scoops up Christopher, but is tripped by Lawler and lands on his head as Christopher rolls him up for the three count. Afterwards, father and son beat down on Putski, as Jerry tells Scott to inform his father, the legendary Ivan Putski, that the only thing good to come out of Poland was an empty boat. Well then. Match was fast paced with a lot of moves in a short time, but nothing was really linked together. Still, not too bad. I'll give it a 2.5 out of 5.
The Undertaker is in the back, and he asks for the fans to let him tell his side of the story after Paul Bearer reveals his dark secret. A video montage of the Great Sasuke is shown, promoting his debut at Canadian Stampede. Brain Pillman is out, and a video is shown of his comments prior to his match with Mankind, where he promises to show Marv Albert and Mike Tyson something about biting another human by taking a chunk out of Mankind's good ear. Mankind comes out bearing a gift and wearing a sign that says "Pick Me, Steve", as he really wants to be Austin's tag team partner. Mankind presents the gift to Jim Ross, which is a plaster hand shaped like Mankind's, mandible claw in all. Pillman is not amused, as he takes the hand and beats Mankind with it before throwing it back to Ross, and the match is on. Pillman gets control early, but Mankind gains control with brawling tactics, and then delivers a running knee to a downed Pillman in the corner. The two continue fighting as Triple-H and Chyna show up on the stage. The match goes to the outside, and Pillman uses the referee trying to hold back Mankind as an opportunity to bash Mankind with the ring bell behind the ref's back. Pillman then uses a pencil to stab Mankind with a couple of times before the ref takes it away. Mankind eventually gets the advantage and sets Pillman up against the stairs, but Pillman moves, and Mankind goes knees first into the metal steps. Back in, Pillman fulfills his pre-match promise to bite Mankind's good ear. But Mankind comes back, and eventually drags Pillman over to the ring post, where he slams his bad ankle against the medal post, then crotches Pillman for good measure. The mandible claw is put on Pillman, but here comes Triple-H to break it up while Chyna distracts the ref. That gets a mandible claw for Helmsley on the outside, until Pillman breaks it up by beating Mankind with one of his boots. Pillman tries to hold Mankind up for a chairshot, but Helmsley misses and Pillman takes the chair instead. Mankind goes after Triple-H, but gets counted out as Pillman is able to beat the ref's count, giving Pillman the victory. Interesting match, I'd give it a 2.65 out of 5.
Paul Bearer is in the back, as he promises to deliver the secret that will mark the beginning of the end for the Undertaker. Out comes Mr. Bearer, and before he reaches the ring, a female fan comes out and easily takes down the big man before security drags her away. That was weird. Bearer talks for a while, but the gist of the secret is this, Bearer was working at a funeral home owned by the Undertaker's family, and the Undertaker burned that funeral home down, killing his parents and his brother. Of course, if Bearer did know this, than why was he the Undertaker's manager for six years prior to this? This mystery will keep me up for days. Back from commercial, Vader congratulates Bearer for making his announcement, and Sable and Marc Mero show off the cash casket.
Next is the second semifinal of the tag tournament, as the Headbangers take on Owen Hart and Davey Boy Smith. The Headbangers start with the advantage after a Mosh dropkick and a double pancake on Owen. Thrasher comes in, so does Davey Boy. Thrasher seems to be in control until Owen comes in after a blind tag and lands a spinning heel kick on Thrasher. That gets two. From there, Owen and Davey Boy are in control, as they show off moves such as Davey Boy's stall suplex, a double back elbow, and others, getting a number of two counts in the process. Meanwhile, Bret Hart is on the phone from Calgary, promoting his team's upcoming 10 man tag match at Canadian Stampede. Owen goes for a suplex, but Thrasher counters with a small package, and nearly gets the pin. This does give Thrasher an opening to get the HOT TAG to Mosh, who comes in with body slams, clotheslines, and dropkicks for everybody. Owen's in trouble, as the Headbangers set him up for the stage dive, but Davey Boy crotches Mosh, and Owen is able to roll up Thrasher to get the victory. Match could have used five more minutes to really get going. I'll give it a 1.8 out of 5. Afterwards, Jim Cornette returns, and he's brought a new tag team in. That team turns out to be the Headhunters, who at first brawl with both teams before Davey and Owen just leave. The Headbangers seemed to be in control at first, but a Cornette distraction allows the Headhunters to gain the advantage, and they finish up the brawl with one delivering a diving headbutt that just barely connects, while the other does a pretty nifty moonsault from the top rope.
Time to go back to the Undertaker's locker room, where he offers a rebuttal to Paul Bearer's secret. Taker admits that a fire at the funeral home killed his family, but it was not he, but rather his brother Kane that set the fire inadvertently when he combined matches with embalming fluid. The Undertaker was out doing chores during the day, and once he returned, the funeral home was burned down to the ground. Undertaker also claims that Paul Bearer made the Undertaker look at the charred remains of his family, which is probably not the best thing for a grieving child. Undertaker concludes by saying that he will draw strength from the dead to strike Paul Bearer down. In the hands of most other wrestlers, this would just be ridiculous, but the Undertaker is convincing enough in this speech to make the angle work.
Rockabilly is led out to the ring by the Honky Tonk Man for his match against Vader, who is led to the ring by Paul Bearer. Of all the gimmicks in Billy Gunn's career, Rockabilly just might be the worst. Rockabilly decides not to waste time, so he slams his guitar into Vader's back. That didn't work, as Vader barely flinched and proceeds to pepper Rockabilly with lefts and rights. The Undertaker comes out and beats on Vader while Paul Bearer screams "murderer" at the top of his lungs. That enrages the murderous Undertaker, so he grabs Bearer by the collar and paintbrushes him, demanding to tell the fans the truth. Instead, Bearer reveals another secret, that Taker's brother Kane is alive. Now, 13 years later, and Taker and his 'brother' Kane are still feuding. Anyway, Vader attacks the Undertaker from behind, and then he and Bearer run to the back, with Taker chasing close behind. This wasn't really a match, which is all right since Rockabilly v. Vader isn't that appealing a match anyway.
It's main event time on Raw, as Jim Neidhart is waiting in the ring. Out comes Steve Austin to a DOA-like pop. Neidhart jumps Austin early on, but Austin is able to counter with punches and clotheslines before slamming the Anvil down for a two count. Anvil comes back with a pair of big shoulderblocks, but Austin is Irish Whipped into the ropes, which allows him to Thesz Press the Anvil. Austin tries for a sharpshooter, that doesn't work, so Austin instead sinks in the abdominal stretch. To the outside, and Austin slams Neidhart down on the entrance ramp before the show cuts to commercial.
Back from commercial, and Bret Hart has flown in from Calgary to Des Moines, Iowa in 30 minutes to attack Ken Shamrock in the back. Meanwhile, during the break, Neidhart took control of the match after whipping Austin into the ring steps, and continues to control the action with a series of rest holds and brawling tactics. Austin is able to counter a Neidhart sleeper with a jawbreaker, which gets a two count. However, Neidhart uses his gut to stop Austin's charge and lock in a front face lock. Anvil slams Austin down, but misses a second rope dive. Austin takes control with punches and stomps, before Bret Hart comes out. The Hart Foundation double team Austin and drag him to the post, where Hart locks Austin in his patented ring post figure four, which I'm surprised somebody hasn't lifted the move for their own repertoire. Mankind comes out to rescue Austin, but the rest of the Hart Foundation attack Mankind as the show concludes. Match was rather boring and Neidhart was gassed early on. I'll give it a 1.3 out of 5.
Overall, the show wasn't too bad nor all that great. There were a couple of decent matches, and the Paul Bearer-Undertaker angles were compelling at the very least. Plus, the show marked the debut of the Los Boriquas and the first mention of Kane, so it's quite a historic show. Overall, I'd give the show a 5.35 out of 10. Thanks for reading, and if you have any thoughts about this show or the wrestlers involved, or have an idea for a future review, than feel free to share those either by leaving a comment on the blog or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Did Ray Lewis just destroy Saturn? and other Sports Commercials
Earlier tonight, I was watching the Vikings and Saints play in the first game of the NFL season when I saw a most peculiar commercial. In it, Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis comes out of the shower covered in foam talking about how tough it is to play football and how awesome Old Spice is, while at the same time tossing a saddle onto a giant raven outside the window. Yes, you heard me, a giant Raven. He then hops out the window and jumps on the raven, which has plastic eyes, and the two fly up into space, as the raven is apparently powered by rockets. The raven then shoots a laser and blows up Saturn. I don't know if that's the worst commercial I've ever seen or the best, but it really captured my attention. I don't know what a raven ridden by Ray Lewis has to do with bodywash, but it works for me. Check it out for yourself:
With that in mind, here are some other commercials featuring sports stars.
Commercial 1: Magic Johnson for Kentucky Fried Chicken
On some basketball court, Magic Johnson has a bucket of Hot n' Spicy chicken when these two other basketball players, who look to be no older than 23, come up to Magic and want some chicken. Magic's all like, 'this chicken is too hot to handle' and to prove his point, he breathes fire like a dragon. That fire launches a basketball off the rack and off of the backboard into the net. For some reason, the ball causes an explosion when it goes into the net, and the commercial ends with Magic Johnson saying; "They don't call me Magic for nothing". Never mind Magic Johnson using a double negative there, but I don't think I would want a bucket of chicken that caused me to shoot out a long line of flames from my mouth, because who knows what something that strong will come out as on the other side. That commercial makes me want to stay away from KFC, more so than usual.
Commercial 2: Bret Hart for Pizza Pizza
This isn't the whole commercial, but it's enough to write about. Bret Hart's at a pizza place when the guy behind the counter says he'll throw in a second pizza for a toonie, which in Canada is a 2 dollar coin. Suddenly Bret yells; "yeah I WANT TO CRACK THE CARDBOARD!" Um, what the heck does that mean? Also, what does it have to do with getting a second pizza? I'm greatly confused. Anyway, the video ends with Bret telling us to "crack the cardboard" and come to Pizza Pizza, finishing with "Tell 'em the Hitman sent you". I wonder how they would react at a Pizza Pizza if I went in there and told them that the Hitman sent me. However, since the closest Pizza Pizza to me is Ontario, I doubt I'll be making it up there soon. I guess I'll just have to crack the cardboard in spirit instead.
Commercial 3: Cecil and Prince Fielder for McDonalds
Oh how things were so much simpler back in 1992. In this ad, Cecil Fielder, then the most powerful hitter in baseball, and his son Prince, a future big-leaguer himself, are playing a backyard game of baseball, which for some reason is being announced. The announcer starts by saying, "Cecil Fielder's at the plate, he looks hungry". Well, he always looks hungry. Anyway, the ad goes on to advertise various cheeseburgers, including a triple for a $1.69. Hey, that's a good deal. Prince ends up striking his old man out, although to be fair Cecil was using what looked to be a plastic bat, and the two then go off to McDonalds, but not before Prince apologizes for striking out Cecil. This commercial is so odd today considering that Prince, now the first baseman for the Milwaukee Brewers, does not eat meat anymore (even though he's still as big as he was when he ate meat, and if you've ever seen Prince you know how big he is). Also, Prince has not talked to his father in years due to a spat over money. Here's a look at the Fielders in somewhat happier times.
Commercial 4: Deion Sanders Nike Commercial
This ad is from 1996, and for some reason features Jerry Stiller dressed up as Vince Lombardi. The commercial shows highlights of Deion making playing and celebrating said plays while Stiller justifies Deion's flamboyant celebrations. At the end, Stiller does a little dance in the style of Deion. I guess at the time it seemed like a good idea. Maybe Deion needs to crack the cardboard as well, as that would be more entertaining than this was.
Well, I think I'm going to call it a day. Thanks for reading, and if you have any thoughts about this post, or ideas for future posts, than feel free to share them either by leaving a comment on the blog or by sending me an e-mail at kthec2001@gmail.com.
With that in mind, here are some other commercials featuring sports stars.
Commercial 1: Magic Johnson for Kentucky Fried Chicken
On some basketball court, Magic Johnson has a bucket of Hot n' Spicy chicken when these two other basketball players, who look to be no older than 23, come up to Magic and want some chicken. Magic's all like, 'this chicken is too hot to handle' and to prove his point, he breathes fire like a dragon. That fire launches a basketball off the rack and off of the backboard into the net. For some reason, the ball causes an explosion when it goes into the net, and the commercial ends with Magic Johnson saying; "They don't call me Magic for nothing". Never mind Magic Johnson using a double negative there, but I don't think I would want a bucket of chicken that caused me to shoot out a long line of flames from my mouth, because who knows what something that strong will come out as on the other side. That commercial makes me want to stay away from KFC, more so than usual.
Commercial 2: Bret Hart for Pizza Pizza
This isn't the whole commercial, but it's enough to write about. Bret Hart's at a pizza place when the guy behind the counter says he'll throw in a second pizza for a toonie, which in Canada is a 2 dollar coin. Suddenly Bret yells; "yeah I WANT TO CRACK THE CARDBOARD!" Um, what the heck does that mean? Also, what does it have to do with getting a second pizza? I'm greatly confused. Anyway, the video ends with Bret telling us to "crack the cardboard" and come to Pizza Pizza, finishing with "Tell 'em the Hitman sent you". I wonder how they would react at a Pizza Pizza if I went in there and told them that the Hitman sent me. However, since the closest Pizza Pizza to me is Ontario, I doubt I'll be making it up there soon. I guess I'll just have to crack the cardboard in spirit instead.
Commercial 3: Cecil and Prince Fielder for McDonalds
Oh how things were so much simpler back in 1992. In this ad, Cecil Fielder, then the most powerful hitter in baseball, and his son Prince, a future big-leaguer himself, are playing a backyard game of baseball, which for some reason is being announced. The announcer starts by saying, "Cecil Fielder's at the plate, he looks hungry". Well, he always looks hungry. Anyway, the ad goes on to advertise various cheeseburgers, including a triple for a $1.69. Hey, that's a good deal. Prince ends up striking his old man out, although to be fair Cecil was using what looked to be a plastic bat, and the two then go off to McDonalds, but not before Prince apologizes for striking out Cecil. This commercial is so odd today considering that Prince, now the first baseman for the Milwaukee Brewers, does not eat meat anymore (even though he's still as big as he was when he ate meat, and if you've ever seen Prince you know how big he is). Also, Prince has not talked to his father in years due to a spat over money. Here's a look at the Fielders in somewhat happier times.
Commercial 4: Deion Sanders Nike Commercial
This ad is from 1996, and for some reason features Jerry Stiller dressed up as Vince Lombardi. The commercial shows highlights of Deion making playing and celebrating said plays while Stiller justifies Deion's flamboyant celebrations. At the end, Stiller does a little dance in the style of Deion. I guess at the time it seemed like a good idea. Maybe Deion needs to crack the cardboard as well, as that would be more entertaining than this was.
Well, I think I'm going to call it a day. Thanks for reading, and if you have any thoughts about this post, or ideas for future posts, than feel free to share them either by leaving a comment on the blog or by sending me an e-mail at kthec2001@gmail.com.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Canon Wrestling Review: WCW Monday Nitro: October 26, 1998
Earlier today, reader Ben W. and I were reminiscing about the time preliminary wrestler Kenny Kaos was suddenly given one half of the Tag Team Titles by Rick Steiner on an episode of Nitro. I liked thinking about it so much that I decided to watch that very show when it happened. So strap up and hold on tight, as we review the October 26, 1998 version of WCW Monday Nitro.
We start with dancing from the Nitro Girls and some fireworks. The usual gang of idiots are here, but before the show starts, Tony Schiavone has some bidness to take care of. See, the night before was WCW Halloween Havoc, and due to the fact that they went 20 minutes over schedule, some people did not get to see the conclusion of the show, which was the conclusion to that God-awful Hogan-Warrior match and the entire main event between Diamond Dallas Page and WCW Champion Goldberg. So, out of the kindness of their hearts, WCW has decided to air the entire main event unedited during the broadcast. According to Schiavone, the competition is claiming that this is a ratings ploy, but to prove those bastards wrong, the match will air at 9:00 eastern at the beginning of the second hour. Oddly enough, that's when the competition is supposed to start their show. Coincidence? Larry Zybszko says that technology is not perfect and if you think this is bad "wait until the KY2 bug hits in the year 2000". That sounds awful, thank goodness that didn't happen.
DANGER! HIGH VOLTAGE! Out comes Kaos to no reaction. He faces off against Stevie Ray of the nWo, who the announcers decry for having the gall to refer to himself as the "enforcer" of the nWo. Hey, that's Arn Anderson's name, come up with something else. Ray beats up Kaos both inside and outside the ring, and says something incoherent into the camera. Kaos comes back with a springboard clothesline, which brings out Buff Bagwell. Bagwell throws Stevie Ray his slapjack and distracts the referee long enough for Stevie to nail Kaos with it. Stevie than hits his finisher, also known as the slapjack (double underhook facebuster). How odd. Ray gets the three and the nWo puts the boots to Kaos. That brings out Rick Steiner with a T-shirt underneath his singlet to chase them off. Rick grabs a mic and says, hey Kaos, mind being my partner in defending the tag titles tonight? Kaos, not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, accepts. Of all the people Steiner could have chosen, he chose a guy that already got beat down by the nWo and hasn't won a match in about two years unless its against Lodi or somebody like that. Now the fans are treated to two Kaos matches in one night. That will bring in the ratings.
Next is the late, great Kanyon taking on the still living but merely average Prince Iaukea. Kanyon asks the crowd, "Who's better than Kanyon?" which gets a lot of responses but not the one Kanyon was looking for, so he kicks Iaukea in the gut and starts the match in anger. Kanyon is on offense for most of the match, but Iaukea gets a couple of moves in, including a backdrop out of an attempted piledriver on the stairs by Kanyon and a springboard senton on a standing Kanyon. Of course, the announcers are too busy talking about how Rick Steiner won the Tag Team titles last night against three men by himself. Kanyon could have taken a leak in the middle of the ring and they'd still be talking about Rick Steiner or the great decision made to air the DDP-Goldberg match on this show. Kanyon counters a backslide into the Flatliner, and pins his opponent for the three count. He then proclaims himself the King of the World, a la Leo DiCaprio in Titanic. Decent enough match, although not enough time was given to make it worthwhile.
The Nitro Girls are dancing around the announce table, which causes Tony and Mike Tenay to react like they've never seen a woman before. Gene Okerlund is in the ring, and he introduces the Four Horseman, which causes Tony to yell in the mic in approval. There's no Mongo McMichael here for some reason, but Ric Flair assures us that he'll be here later. Well, let's hope not. Flair goes on about how Eric Bischoff will fail in his attempts to block him from wrestling, which brings out a rather pale looking Bischoff. Bischoff says that he's made a mistake, that he's underestimated the fans love of Ric Flair and that we will see Ric Flair wrestle tonight. Flair says Hell yeah, bring out anybody and he'll take them on. The announcers are optimistic but cautious of Bischoff's true intentions.
There's a video shown of this week's winning Nitro Party, with a bunch of dumb wannabe frat boys acting like Konnan and Bagwell while watching Nitro. Stills are shown of last night's Kevin Nash vs. Scott Hall match, where Nash just walked away after powerbombing Hall twice. We go to the entrance ramp, where Alex Wright comes out to face Barry Horowitz. The announcers spend most of the match talking about what nice guys they are for showing last night's PPV Main Event. Wright, to the surprise of absolutely no one, is in control most of the match, although Horowitz counters a top rope dive from Wright. Horowitz does his patented pat on the back, before messing up his own top rope move. Wright hits the Rude Awakening on Horowitz and gets the victory. He then celebrates by doing his stupid dance. Match was short and not that great.
Lee Marshall announces the location of next week's Nitro, which I don't care enough to remember, and then we get a recap of last night's Hogan-Warrior match, which I believe was named the worst match of the year. The announcers have decided that the match was too graphic to show on the air even though some people didn't see the ending. It also sucked on ice. Anyway, Horace Hogan helped his uncle win a week after his uncle brained him with a steel chair, leaving 11 stitches on Horace's head.
Sick Boy comes out to be squashed by Wrath, who actually gets quite a good reaction from the fans. Sick Boy gets almost no offense in, and Wrath gets to show off his skills, including a slingshot shoulderblock and a bunch of power moves. Wrath sets up Sick Boy for the Meltdown (pumphandle slam), which gets a HUGE reaction from the fans. Wrath gives the fans what they want and gets the victory to the delight of the crowd. Match was a squash, but man these people were really digging Wrath at this time. Too bad he had to rug pulled out from under him a few weeks later.
The announcers remind us that Ric Flair will wrestle and that now is finally the time to show the Page-Goldberg match. Michael Buffer does the ring announcing for this match, noting that Page is from the Jersey Shore by way of the school of Hard Knocks, just like The Situation. Page comes through the crowd, while Goldberg comes out accompanying by a 10 man security force for reasons that are unknown to me even to this day. Match starts, and each man can't get an advantage, although it's clear that Goldberg is the superior athlete. Goldberg does a backflip to counter a Page leg sweep, which impresses everybody. For the first few minutes, Goldberg seems to be targeting the arm of Page, presumably to prevent him from using the Diamond Cutter. Goldberg retains control until Page does a headscissors out of a power slam attempt. Didn't think Page could do that move. Goldberg side kicks Page in the chest, backing him into the corner. He then goes for the spear, but Page moves and Goldberg slams his shoulders into the ring post. Goldberg's hurt his arm, which allows Page to hit a flying clothesline and then counter a spinebuster into a tornado DDT. Page calls for the Diamond Cutter, but Goldberg has none of that and spears Page to the ground. But it's with his bum shoulder. The two slowly get up, and Goldberg goes for the Jackhammer, but hasn't the strength to do it. He finally gets Page up, but Page counters with the Diamond Cutter! The crowd explodes after that, but Page doesn't have enough energy to make the cover. Page finally gets the cover, but only gets a two count. Page then tries a suplex, but unfortunately for him Goldberg is able to counter and use the Jackhammer on Page. Goldberg gets the win in what was his best match to date at this point, and may be the best match of his career. Great match, I would recommend it to anyone if you want to see good wrestling.
Now back to the crap. Gene catches up with Kevin Nash in his dressing room, which has two couches and a bathroom for some reason. Gene asks Nash why he didn't pin Scott Hall, but wait a minute, Hall is in the room as well. What's going on? Nash just wants his friend back, and Hall admits that last night he "hit a wall" and realized some things. Just when you think the two will become friends again, The Giant sneaks in and beats Nash up. Hall joins in, and eventually they pick up Nash and throw him through a wall. I guess Nash was the one that hit the wall after all.
A video of the Nitro Girls is shown, before we go back live to see the Nitro Girls dance. That was unnecessary, but I don't mind. The nWo Hollywood contingent comes out, with new member Horace Hogan. Somebody forgets to turn up the mic, so Bischoff repeats this stupid line three times: "Life is good when you're with Hollywood". Hulk Hogan gets the mic, says that when you wear the black and white you do it for life and that in order to do so, you must prove your loyalty by stabbing yourself in the heart in the name of Hollywood. The hell? Which brings us to Horace, as he "passed the test" last night and is given the nWo T-shirt and a nWo weightbelt. Hulk calls Horace the "most important, most valuable member of nWo Hollywood". It must be opposite day for the nWo. Strange promo.
Zbyszko is replaced by Bobby Heenan, and Tony wastes no time in expressing his displeasure about it. Watching these old Nitros is somewhat interesting now just because of the thinly-veiled comments both Tony and Bobby have for each other, as you can really feel the hatred between the two. Try watching a Nitro from say, 97 onward, and you'll be able to pick up on that rather easily. Anyway, Perry Saturn comes out, with a new vest that looks, um, interesting. He is followed by Eddy Guerrero who was the leader of the lWo at this time. This should be a good match, but Eddy at this point was burnt out, so we shall see. Saturn uses an overhead belly-to-belly early on, but Guerrero gains the advantage after dropkicking Saturn's knee. Guerrero then continues the attack on the leg. Guerrero does his trademark slingshot somersault, this time on Saturn's knee. After a few more moves, Saturn is able to gain the advantage after turning a tornado DDT into a Northern Lights suplex. From there, Saturn starts throwing around Eddy with his T-Bone suplex and a Falcon Arrow, which of course the announcers don't know the name of. Saturn signals for the DVD, which brings out lWo members Damian 666 and Hector Garza. Saturn has little problem fighting them off, overhead belly-to-belly suplexing both of them quite nicely. This brings out the rest of the lWo, including a guy who nobody knows. The unknown man, who btw is Eddy's close personal friend Art Flores, uses a sweet brainbuster on Saturn, setting him up for a frog splash by Eddy. The lWo celebrates the beatdown of Saturn. Decent match, could of been better if given more time, but what can you do.
Gene-O is at the entrance ramp, he brings out Judy Bagwell. The crowd is on the edge of their seats with anticipation over what Buff's mom will say. Judy is tired of Buff's actions, and says that he has disgraced the Bagwell name. Brother Jeff is pissed at Buff, I am sure. Mrs. Bagwell goes on to say that she loves Marcus with all of her heart, but she's had enough of Buff. Me too, and he's only been on the show for a minute thus far.
The Giant and Stevie Ray come out representing the nWo against the newly-minted tag team Champions Rick Steiner and Kenny Kaos. Just because Kaos has to wrestle twice doesn't make it okay to subject us to two Stevie Ray matches in one night. Where's Bryan Adams when you need him? Predictably, the nWo beats up Kaos something fierce, or as fierce as the 550 pound Giant can at this point. To call him unmotivated is an understatement. Rick gets tagged in, hits a Steinerline for what looked like a three count but was only two, but the nWo take over again. Double team coming, but Kaos distracts the Giant, allowing Steiner to backdrop Stevie Ray. Steiner then hits a dangerous looking bulldog off the top on Stevie Ray and the champs retain. Good for them, although things would get worse once Steiner decided to make Judy Bagwell a tag team champion a few weeks later. Match was awful, however it was short at least.
Fireworks go off to signify the third hour of Nitro and to wake up the crowd after that last match. Eric Bischoff has replaced Tenay on commentary, which is a lateral move as far as I'm concerned. Bischoff says that he is a man of his word and we will see Flair wrestle, and he delivers, sort of. Instead of a live match, we get clips from Flair vs. Hulk Hogan at Bash at the Beach 1994, with all of the clips shown to make Flair look bad against the Hulkster. Well, technically, Bischoff didn't lie, but it's still crap. Mr. T and Shaquille O'Neal were there at ringside and Hogan wins with a legdrop and celebrates with the two. Bischoff says that this just shows that Flair will always be second best to the Hulkster. He asks the announcers how Flair looked, and Heenan says not too good, which causes Tony to scream at him. I bet Heenan just wanted to pop Schiavone on many days.
The Cruiserweight Title is on the line in this next match, as Juventud Guerrera takes on the champion, Billy Kidman, whose normally white shirt is now an ugly shade of gray. Wash your shirt, Kidman. This match was quite fun, as they start out fast and just pick up speed from there. A lot of two counts and great looking manuevers by these two wrestlers packed into six minutes. The end comes after Juvi learns you can't power bomb Kidman, as he counters with a Tiger Bomb, setting him up for a Shooting Star Press, which he landed perfectly for once. Kidman gets the win and the crowd shows its appreciation. Back to the announce table, where a Sting and Macho Man video are both plugged. Heenan tries to steal one of the videos, but Tony catches him in the act.
The nWo music plays for the 293rd time tonight, and this time Scott Steiner and son of Judy Bagwell come out. Steiner asks if the ladies love him for his mind or his body, and to that I say what mind? Bagwell is angry at his mother, and says that women belong at home cooking and cleaning. Buff than implores his dad to put Judy back in her place. So now Buff hates all women? Steiner than calls out J.J. Dillon to set up a match between him and his brother. Dillon comes out, says something about it being late in the show so you can't have your rematch. Steiner then says that he's an honest man but he has lied. Okay. Instead, Steiner has two questions for Dillon. One, why did the referee that started the match last night didn't finish the match, and two, well we never get that far as Dillon gets beaten up for failing to answer the first one correctly. Security tries to break it up, but Scott puts Dillon in the Steiner Recliner while Buff runs interference.
The Warrior's music plays, which the announcers act like they've never heard before even though the dude's been in the company for three months by now. Warrior gets a pretty good reaction from the crowd, and then proceed es to speak about how Hogan is a chicken or something. Warrior proceeds to drop an S-bomb during the interview. I don't think you can do that. He says Hogan has opened the door to Warrior's hell, and that he is the gatekeeper. Well good for you Warrior. Hogan comes out, followed quickly by Horace and Bischoff, and not so quickly by The Giant. Horace attacks first but gets clotheslined out of the ring for his trouble. The Giant comes in, but sufferes the same fate, but that allows Hogan to clubber on Warrior from behind. Warrior recovers, delivers a flying shoulder tackle to Hogan, and the Warrior stands tall in the ring. He wouldn't be in WCW much longer after this, however.
There's a commercial for WCW Bashin' Brawlers that is shown. Hey, I used to have some of those. They would scream out whenever you put pressure on a body part, for example, if you twist their arm, they would say "OW, you're hurting my left arm" They only made one for the big names, like Page, Savage, and Hogan. If only they made one for Van Hammer. The nWo music plays yet again, bringing out Scotts Hall and Steiner. Lex Luger and Konnan come out, and we have a tag match that quickly degenerates into an all-out brawl. Luger squares off with Hall while Steiner and Konnan fight. It's interesting that whenever one pair goes to the outside, the other pair go back to the inside of the ring. Well, maybe not interesting. Eventually, Luger hits Hall with the bionic forearm and signals for the Torture Rack, but Steiner comes to stop that with a low blow. Konnan brings a steel chair, and crushes Steiner on the head with it. Luger than jabs Hall with the chair. The two teams keep fighting until commercial, and the match is eventually declared a no-contest. Meh.
Michael Buffer is here to announce the main event, a match for the U.S. Title between DDP and the Champion Bret Hart. Buffer gets Hart's name right this time, something he has struggled with before. The two trade moves for a while, and it's a good back-and-forth affair between the two. Hart starts to take control after a Russian Leg Sweep and a DDT on DDP, which the announcers seemed to find funny. Hart gets a two after the DDT, and starts freaking out on Mickey Jay, which gives Page the opening to hit the Cactus Jack clothesline and a pancake. Page goes up top, but Hart catches him and superplexs his foe down to the mat. Only two, Page small packages Hart for two, but the Hitman regains control with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Flying elbow off the second rope by Hart, but Page gets out at two, which causes Hart to call Mickey Jay's mother a whore or something. Page takes Hart down with a Fujiwara armbar, but instead of holding on, he just lets go. That was awkward. Page gets Hart in the corner, bashes his head into the turnbuckle, but Hart manages to mule-kick both Page and the ref in the jewels. Hart digs out some knucks, revives the ref, but Page suddenly catches him with the Diamond Cutter. On this night, that would be enough, and we have a new U.S. Champion. This does not please Hart, as he gets a chair and starts attacking Page's leg with it. He puts DDP in the sharpshooter, which cause Page to scream in agony. Hart eventually tires of that, and goes back to bashing Page's leg with the chair before Goldberg comes out just as the show was ending. Good match, not great, but good.
Overall, this show was made a lot better due to the airing of Page-Goldberg, but even so it was still just an average show. At least there were two good matches in the final hour in Kidman-Juvi and Hart-Page, but all the nWo stuff was either boring or just plain dumb. I'll give this show an overall score of 4.89 out of 10. Tomorrow at The Canon Review, we pay tribute to Kenny Kaos, for no good reason whatsoever. But until then, if you have any better ideas for reviews, than send them to me either by leaving a comment or by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Here's some videos from this episode of Nitro.
We start with dancing from the Nitro Girls and some fireworks. The usual gang of idiots are here, but before the show starts, Tony Schiavone has some bidness to take care of. See, the night before was WCW Halloween Havoc, and due to the fact that they went 20 minutes over schedule, some people did not get to see the conclusion of the show, which was the conclusion to that God-awful Hogan-Warrior match and the entire main event between Diamond Dallas Page and WCW Champion Goldberg. So, out of the kindness of their hearts, WCW has decided to air the entire main event unedited during the broadcast. According to Schiavone, the competition is claiming that this is a ratings ploy, but to prove those bastards wrong, the match will air at 9:00 eastern at the beginning of the second hour. Oddly enough, that's when the competition is supposed to start their show. Coincidence? Larry Zybszko says that technology is not perfect and if you think this is bad "wait until the KY2 bug hits in the year 2000". That sounds awful, thank goodness that didn't happen.
DANGER! HIGH VOLTAGE! Out comes Kaos to no reaction. He faces off against Stevie Ray of the nWo, who the announcers decry for having the gall to refer to himself as the "enforcer" of the nWo. Hey, that's Arn Anderson's name, come up with something else. Ray beats up Kaos both inside and outside the ring, and says something incoherent into the camera. Kaos comes back with a springboard clothesline, which brings out Buff Bagwell. Bagwell throws Stevie Ray his slapjack and distracts the referee long enough for Stevie to nail Kaos with it. Stevie than hits his finisher, also known as the slapjack (double underhook facebuster). How odd. Ray gets the three and the nWo puts the boots to Kaos. That brings out Rick Steiner with a T-shirt underneath his singlet to chase them off. Rick grabs a mic and says, hey Kaos, mind being my partner in defending the tag titles tonight? Kaos, not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, accepts. Of all the people Steiner could have chosen, he chose a guy that already got beat down by the nWo and hasn't won a match in about two years unless its against Lodi or somebody like that. Now the fans are treated to two Kaos matches in one night. That will bring in the ratings.
Next is the late, great Kanyon taking on the still living but merely average Prince Iaukea. Kanyon asks the crowd, "Who's better than Kanyon?" which gets a lot of responses but not the one Kanyon was looking for, so he kicks Iaukea in the gut and starts the match in anger. Kanyon is on offense for most of the match, but Iaukea gets a couple of moves in, including a backdrop out of an attempted piledriver on the stairs by Kanyon and a springboard senton on a standing Kanyon. Of course, the announcers are too busy talking about how Rick Steiner won the Tag Team titles last night against three men by himself. Kanyon could have taken a leak in the middle of the ring and they'd still be talking about Rick Steiner or the great decision made to air the DDP-Goldberg match on this show. Kanyon counters a backslide into the Flatliner, and pins his opponent for the three count. He then proclaims himself the King of the World, a la Leo DiCaprio in Titanic. Decent enough match, although not enough time was given to make it worthwhile.
The Nitro Girls are dancing around the announce table, which causes Tony and Mike Tenay to react like they've never seen a woman before. Gene Okerlund is in the ring, and he introduces the Four Horseman, which causes Tony to yell in the mic in approval. There's no Mongo McMichael here for some reason, but Ric Flair assures us that he'll be here later. Well, let's hope not. Flair goes on about how Eric Bischoff will fail in his attempts to block him from wrestling, which brings out a rather pale looking Bischoff. Bischoff says that he's made a mistake, that he's underestimated the fans love of Ric Flair and that we will see Ric Flair wrestle tonight. Flair says Hell yeah, bring out anybody and he'll take them on. The announcers are optimistic but cautious of Bischoff's true intentions.
There's a video shown of this week's winning Nitro Party, with a bunch of dumb wannabe frat boys acting like Konnan and Bagwell while watching Nitro. Stills are shown of last night's Kevin Nash vs. Scott Hall match, where Nash just walked away after powerbombing Hall twice. We go to the entrance ramp, where Alex Wright comes out to face Barry Horowitz. The announcers spend most of the match talking about what nice guys they are for showing last night's PPV Main Event. Wright, to the surprise of absolutely no one, is in control most of the match, although Horowitz counters a top rope dive from Wright. Horowitz does his patented pat on the back, before messing up his own top rope move. Wright hits the Rude Awakening on Horowitz and gets the victory. He then celebrates by doing his stupid dance. Match was short and not that great.
Lee Marshall announces the location of next week's Nitro, which I don't care enough to remember, and then we get a recap of last night's Hogan-Warrior match, which I believe was named the worst match of the year. The announcers have decided that the match was too graphic to show on the air even though some people didn't see the ending. It also sucked on ice. Anyway, Horace Hogan helped his uncle win a week after his uncle brained him with a steel chair, leaving 11 stitches on Horace's head.
Sick Boy comes out to be squashed by Wrath, who actually gets quite a good reaction from the fans. Sick Boy gets almost no offense in, and Wrath gets to show off his skills, including a slingshot shoulderblock and a bunch of power moves. Wrath sets up Sick Boy for the Meltdown (pumphandle slam), which gets a HUGE reaction from the fans. Wrath gives the fans what they want and gets the victory to the delight of the crowd. Match was a squash, but man these people were really digging Wrath at this time. Too bad he had to rug pulled out from under him a few weeks later.
The announcers remind us that Ric Flair will wrestle and that now is finally the time to show the Page-Goldberg match. Michael Buffer does the ring announcing for this match, noting that Page is from the Jersey Shore by way of the school of Hard Knocks, just like The Situation. Page comes through the crowd, while Goldberg comes out accompanying by a 10 man security force for reasons that are unknown to me even to this day. Match starts, and each man can't get an advantage, although it's clear that Goldberg is the superior athlete. Goldberg does a backflip to counter a Page leg sweep, which impresses everybody. For the first few minutes, Goldberg seems to be targeting the arm of Page, presumably to prevent him from using the Diamond Cutter. Goldberg retains control until Page does a headscissors out of a power slam attempt. Didn't think Page could do that move. Goldberg side kicks Page in the chest, backing him into the corner. He then goes for the spear, but Page moves and Goldberg slams his shoulders into the ring post. Goldberg's hurt his arm, which allows Page to hit a flying clothesline and then counter a spinebuster into a tornado DDT. Page calls for the Diamond Cutter, but Goldberg has none of that and spears Page to the ground. But it's with his bum shoulder. The two slowly get up, and Goldberg goes for the Jackhammer, but hasn't the strength to do it. He finally gets Page up, but Page counters with the Diamond Cutter! The crowd explodes after that, but Page doesn't have enough energy to make the cover. Page finally gets the cover, but only gets a two count. Page then tries a suplex, but unfortunately for him Goldberg is able to counter and use the Jackhammer on Page. Goldberg gets the win in what was his best match to date at this point, and may be the best match of his career. Great match, I would recommend it to anyone if you want to see good wrestling.
Now back to the crap. Gene catches up with Kevin Nash in his dressing room, which has two couches and a bathroom for some reason. Gene asks Nash why he didn't pin Scott Hall, but wait a minute, Hall is in the room as well. What's going on? Nash just wants his friend back, and Hall admits that last night he "hit a wall" and realized some things. Just when you think the two will become friends again, The Giant sneaks in and beats Nash up. Hall joins in, and eventually they pick up Nash and throw him through a wall. I guess Nash was the one that hit the wall after all.
A video of the Nitro Girls is shown, before we go back live to see the Nitro Girls dance. That was unnecessary, but I don't mind. The nWo Hollywood contingent comes out, with new member Horace Hogan. Somebody forgets to turn up the mic, so Bischoff repeats this stupid line three times: "Life is good when you're with Hollywood". Hulk Hogan gets the mic, says that when you wear the black and white you do it for life and that in order to do so, you must prove your loyalty by stabbing yourself in the heart in the name of Hollywood. The hell? Which brings us to Horace, as he "passed the test" last night and is given the nWo T-shirt and a nWo weightbelt. Hulk calls Horace the "most important, most valuable member of nWo Hollywood". It must be opposite day for the nWo. Strange promo.
Zbyszko is replaced by Bobby Heenan, and Tony wastes no time in expressing his displeasure about it. Watching these old Nitros is somewhat interesting now just because of the thinly-veiled comments both Tony and Bobby have for each other, as you can really feel the hatred between the two. Try watching a Nitro from say, 97 onward, and you'll be able to pick up on that rather easily. Anyway, Perry Saturn comes out, with a new vest that looks, um, interesting. He is followed by Eddy Guerrero who was the leader of the lWo at this time. This should be a good match, but Eddy at this point was burnt out, so we shall see. Saturn uses an overhead belly-to-belly early on, but Guerrero gains the advantage after dropkicking Saturn's knee. Guerrero then continues the attack on the leg. Guerrero does his trademark slingshot somersault, this time on Saturn's knee. After a few more moves, Saturn is able to gain the advantage after turning a tornado DDT into a Northern Lights suplex. From there, Saturn starts throwing around Eddy with his T-Bone suplex and a Falcon Arrow, which of course the announcers don't know the name of. Saturn signals for the DVD, which brings out lWo members Damian 666 and Hector Garza. Saturn has little problem fighting them off, overhead belly-to-belly suplexing both of them quite nicely. This brings out the rest of the lWo, including a guy who nobody knows. The unknown man, who btw is Eddy's close personal friend Art Flores, uses a sweet brainbuster on Saturn, setting him up for a frog splash by Eddy. The lWo celebrates the beatdown of Saturn. Decent match, could of been better if given more time, but what can you do.
Gene-O is at the entrance ramp, he brings out Judy Bagwell. The crowd is on the edge of their seats with anticipation over what Buff's mom will say. Judy is tired of Buff's actions, and says that he has disgraced the Bagwell name. Brother Jeff is pissed at Buff, I am sure. Mrs. Bagwell goes on to say that she loves Marcus with all of her heart, but she's had enough of Buff. Me too, and he's only been on the show for a minute thus far.
The Giant and Stevie Ray come out representing the nWo against the newly-minted tag team Champions Rick Steiner and Kenny Kaos. Just because Kaos has to wrestle twice doesn't make it okay to subject us to two Stevie Ray matches in one night. Where's Bryan Adams when you need him? Predictably, the nWo beats up Kaos something fierce, or as fierce as the 550 pound Giant can at this point. To call him unmotivated is an understatement. Rick gets tagged in, hits a Steinerline for what looked like a three count but was only two, but the nWo take over again. Double team coming, but Kaos distracts the Giant, allowing Steiner to backdrop Stevie Ray. Steiner then hits a dangerous looking bulldog off the top on Stevie Ray and the champs retain. Good for them, although things would get worse once Steiner decided to make Judy Bagwell a tag team champion a few weeks later. Match was awful, however it was short at least.
Fireworks go off to signify the third hour of Nitro and to wake up the crowd after that last match. Eric Bischoff has replaced Tenay on commentary, which is a lateral move as far as I'm concerned. Bischoff says that he is a man of his word and we will see Flair wrestle, and he delivers, sort of. Instead of a live match, we get clips from Flair vs. Hulk Hogan at Bash at the Beach 1994, with all of the clips shown to make Flair look bad against the Hulkster. Well, technically, Bischoff didn't lie, but it's still crap. Mr. T and Shaquille O'Neal were there at ringside and Hogan wins with a legdrop and celebrates with the two. Bischoff says that this just shows that Flair will always be second best to the Hulkster. He asks the announcers how Flair looked, and Heenan says not too good, which causes Tony to scream at him. I bet Heenan just wanted to pop Schiavone on many days.
The Cruiserweight Title is on the line in this next match, as Juventud Guerrera takes on the champion, Billy Kidman, whose normally white shirt is now an ugly shade of gray. Wash your shirt, Kidman. This match was quite fun, as they start out fast and just pick up speed from there. A lot of two counts and great looking manuevers by these two wrestlers packed into six minutes. The end comes after Juvi learns you can't power bomb Kidman, as he counters with a Tiger Bomb, setting him up for a Shooting Star Press, which he landed perfectly for once. Kidman gets the win and the crowd shows its appreciation. Back to the announce table, where a Sting and Macho Man video are both plugged. Heenan tries to steal one of the videos, but Tony catches him in the act.
The nWo music plays for the 293rd time tonight, and this time Scott Steiner and son of Judy Bagwell come out. Steiner asks if the ladies love him for his mind or his body, and to that I say what mind? Bagwell is angry at his mother, and says that women belong at home cooking and cleaning. Buff than implores his dad to put Judy back in her place. So now Buff hates all women? Steiner than calls out J.J. Dillon to set up a match between him and his brother. Dillon comes out, says something about it being late in the show so you can't have your rematch. Steiner then says that he's an honest man but he has lied. Okay. Instead, Steiner has two questions for Dillon. One, why did the referee that started the match last night didn't finish the match, and two, well we never get that far as Dillon gets beaten up for failing to answer the first one correctly. Security tries to break it up, but Scott puts Dillon in the Steiner Recliner while Buff runs interference.
The Warrior's music plays, which the announcers act like they've never heard before even though the dude's been in the company for three months by now. Warrior gets a pretty good reaction from the crowd, and then proceed es to speak about how Hogan is a chicken or something. Warrior proceeds to drop an S-bomb during the interview. I don't think you can do that. He says Hogan has opened the door to Warrior's hell, and that he is the gatekeeper. Well good for you Warrior. Hogan comes out, followed quickly by Horace and Bischoff, and not so quickly by The Giant. Horace attacks first but gets clotheslined out of the ring for his trouble. The Giant comes in, but sufferes the same fate, but that allows Hogan to clubber on Warrior from behind. Warrior recovers, delivers a flying shoulder tackle to Hogan, and the Warrior stands tall in the ring. He wouldn't be in WCW much longer after this, however.
There's a commercial for WCW Bashin' Brawlers that is shown. Hey, I used to have some of those. They would scream out whenever you put pressure on a body part, for example, if you twist their arm, they would say "OW, you're hurting my left arm" They only made one for the big names, like Page, Savage, and Hogan. If only they made one for Van Hammer. The nWo music plays yet again, bringing out Scotts Hall and Steiner. Lex Luger and Konnan come out, and we have a tag match that quickly degenerates into an all-out brawl. Luger squares off with Hall while Steiner and Konnan fight. It's interesting that whenever one pair goes to the outside, the other pair go back to the inside of the ring. Well, maybe not interesting. Eventually, Luger hits Hall with the bionic forearm and signals for the Torture Rack, but Steiner comes to stop that with a low blow. Konnan brings a steel chair, and crushes Steiner on the head with it. Luger than jabs Hall with the chair. The two teams keep fighting until commercial, and the match is eventually declared a no-contest. Meh.
Michael Buffer is here to announce the main event, a match for the U.S. Title between DDP and the Champion Bret Hart. Buffer gets Hart's name right this time, something he has struggled with before. The two trade moves for a while, and it's a good back-and-forth affair between the two. Hart starts to take control after a Russian Leg Sweep and a DDT on DDP, which the announcers seemed to find funny. Hart gets a two after the DDT, and starts freaking out on Mickey Jay, which gives Page the opening to hit the Cactus Jack clothesline and a pancake. Page goes up top, but Hart catches him and superplexs his foe down to the mat. Only two, Page small packages Hart for two, but the Hitman regains control with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Flying elbow off the second rope by Hart, but Page gets out at two, which causes Hart to call Mickey Jay's mother a whore or something. Page takes Hart down with a Fujiwara armbar, but instead of holding on, he just lets go. That was awkward. Page gets Hart in the corner, bashes his head into the turnbuckle, but Hart manages to mule-kick both Page and the ref in the jewels. Hart digs out some knucks, revives the ref, but Page suddenly catches him with the Diamond Cutter. On this night, that would be enough, and we have a new U.S. Champion. This does not please Hart, as he gets a chair and starts attacking Page's leg with it. He puts DDP in the sharpshooter, which cause Page to scream in agony. Hart eventually tires of that, and goes back to bashing Page's leg with the chair before Goldberg comes out just as the show was ending. Good match, not great, but good.
Overall, this show was made a lot better due to the airing of Page-Goldberg, but even so it was still just an average show. At least there were two good matches in the final hour in Kidman-Juvi and Hart-Page, but all the nWo stuff was either boring or just plain dumb. I'll give this show an overall score of 4.89 out of 10. Tomorrow at The Canon Review, we pay tribute to Kenny Kaos, for no good reason whatsoever. But until then, if you have any better ideas for reviews, than send them to me either by leaving a comment or by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Here's some videos from this episode of Nitro.
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