Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Canon Review has Bieber Fever!!?!

Before I begin, I would like to apologize for my inactivity over the weekend. I had some things planned, but stuff kept happening and I didn't really feel good, so I decided not to post anything over the last couple of days. I know things have gotten a bit slow here lately, but I will try my best to at least update this blog five times a week, if not daily, over the next few weeks. Also, I'll probably have a lot more free time soon, so I'll have more time to devote to this blog.

Anyway, today's post is about Justin Bieber. I'm sure you know that he's 'blowing up' right now. His debut album, My World, went platinum, and is the only debut album to ever have seven separate tracks on the Billboard Top 100. Bieber has developed such a devout following that a crows awaiting one of his shows was so raucous that the police had to step in and cancel the show due to safety concerns, while another crowd wanted to get to Bieber so bad that they knocked his mother down. Bieber's Twitter account has over 2.5 million followers, and is the 18th most followed Twitter account in the world. Safe to say, the Canadian pop artist is kind of a big deal.

To be frank, Bieber's music isn't exactly my cup of tea, which is not that surprising considering that his music seems to be aimed at teen girls and I am anything but that. But instead of joining the Bieber hate train, calling him untalented and this and that, I've decided not to hate, but appreciate. Or at least hold off the hate until I actually hear some of his stuff. So, in a desperate attempt to show that I am hip, I will watch three Justin Bieber music videos and give my thoughts on them. To make things even better, I will embed the videos on the site so you too can contract Bieber Fever.

Video #1: Baby (ft. Ludacris)

The first thing that strikes me is that Bieber looks like an 11-year-old. The song is your basic teen heartbreak song, which has Bieber pining over losing his first love or something, which is kind of a big deal when you're 16. It's upbeat enough to dance to, and it has Ludacris rapping. Overall, the song is really like 300 other songs you hear on the radio, nothing special about it really. The video is, um, something. Bieber and his crew are at a bowling alley when he rolls a strike. This catches the attention of a girl, who in spite of her awkward bowling form, throws a strike. Apparently, in this world this means the two are dating, but in the middle of the video, the girl's attitude towards Bieber changes, so Justin decides to follow her everywhere she goes even though she wants nothing to do with him. Bieber nearly veers into stalker territory, but just before that we end up back at the bowling alley, where for some reason a dance competition or something breaks out between the boys and girls, and Bieber's wicked moves are enough to get the girl back. Also, Ludacris is in the video, and there are some scenes of Luda and Bieber singing together and hanging out. At one point, Luda has Justin in a headlock, so that's fun. I wonder what the two talked about off the set, if anything. Out of 5, I'll give it a 1.95, as the song is catchy enough, but it's a little like everything else on the airwaves.

2. Never Let You Go

Frankly, I found both the video and the song to be boring. As you can probably guess, this song is about a girl that Bieber will never let go. Well isn't that sweet? The song is just a basic mid-tempo pop ballad designed to make the teenyboppers swoon. I'm sure it does, but it's just not working for me. The video is set at two places, an aquarium where Bieber hangs out with his girl, who's wearing two neon-colored watches for some reason. Apparently, one watch isn't enough for this girl, as she needs the extra security that two watches give her, so she'll always know what time it is. The other setting is at a beach with a large staircase, which Bieber stands on the top of and emotes. It's a cloudy day at this beach, which I guess makes him deep or something. One thing that I find kind of forced is the way Bieber will do some sort of dramatic gesture, i.e. raising his fist in the air, at random times while he's singing. I guess it's supposed to give power to the words he' singing at that particular point, but it happens so often that it looks kind of forced. Then again, who am I to say? Overall, let's give it a 1 out of 5, because I've listened to it four times and don't remember a dang thing about the song.

3. One Less Lonely Girl

Clearly, Bieber and his handlers have decided to focus on one theme and base all of their songs off of that. At least that's the impression that I get. This video and song is so sweet and sugary that it may give some viewers diabetes.  The song has Bieber giving out some message about how he's going to make this girl be lonely no more, by putting her first and making her feel special and this and that. The video has shots of Bieber singing in front of a small town's Main Street wearing a green hoodie on top of a pink shirt for some reason, which really emphasizes the fact that he has bright pink lips. Those clips interlock with the main story of the video, which starts with Bieber hanging out playing guitar at the laundrymat, like I do whenever I have the free time. A girl walks in with her laundry, who looks to be about five years older and five inches taller than Justin at first glance. The two exchange warm glances, and the girl leaves, but she drops her scarf, giving Bieber the opportunity to make his case. He decides to get the local townspeople to help him out by taking pictures of him doing different things, such as eating a Hershey's bar and holding puppies. He then leads the girl on a scavenger hunt for the scarf by posting these pictures on papers posted all across town. Finally, it ends with the girl entering Bieber's lair or something, where the two meet and start to dance. To be honest, I didn't like it, but I didn't dislike it either, so I'll give the whole thing a 2.2 out of 5.

So, with all of that done, I'm going to try to sum up Justin Bieber as fairly as possible. His voice is good, but not spectacular, and it is helped by all the production effects that his handlers put in each of his songs. His dance moves in the videos will not make anyone forget about Micheal Jackson. Overall, Bieber is what he is, a teen singer who's going to appeal mainly to young girls singing songs about love and making a girl his. It's one of the simplest formulas to success in the music industry, as artists from New Kids on the Block to N' Sync to The Jonas Brothers have shown. The question is, will Justin Bieber still be relevant five years from now, or is he just another flash in the pan? Time will tell, but sorry to say, I would bet on the latter, as while the kid has some serious backing in Usher and Island Records, he doesn't seem to have enough substance to last in the long run. In other words, I may have a little Bieber Fever, but not too much.

Well, thanks for reading, and if you have ideas for things you would like to see at The Canon Review, than share those ideas either by e-mailing be at KtheC2001@gmail.com or by leaving a blog comment or some other way I haven't thought of yet. So until next time, I may not have Bieber Fever, but I do have a bad case of Jon Lieber Fever. (image from bleacherreport.com)


  1. I'd rather have Jon Lieber splooge on my face than to attempt to listen to any of those songs.

    I'm "pop-culture" ignorant, so I have no clue whatsoever why Justin Bieber is popular or who the hell he is. And just by looking at him and hearing comments that people make, i'm proud to be ignorant.

  2. That would be one extreme case of Lieber fever.