Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Canon Review List-A-Mania: Least Favorite Stand-Up Comedians

About a month or so ago, I did a list of the top eight stand up comedians of all time, which you can find right here. Well, a couple of nights ago, I was hanging out with my family watching TV when suddenly, Patton Oswalt's comedy special comes on. Hate is a strong word, but I strongly, strongly dislike the comedic stylings of Patton Oswalt. In fact, I dislike his work so much that he inspired me to create The Canon Review's Most Disliked Stand-Up Comedians. They may not be the worst, even if most of them are pretty terrible, but in my opinion, these are the worst comedians to stand behind the mic. So enjoy, and let the hating of people much more successful than me begin.

8. Rosie O'Donnell - Before she became, well, whatever she is today, O'Donnell was a stand-up comedian who got her big break on Star Search. Well, that's good enough for me to put on this list. I don't care much for Ms. O'Donnell, because she's a loudmouth who spouts on and on about typical liberal topics, who only can make a point by screaming. On top of that, I don't think she is funny at all.

7. Sarah Silverman -  I am totally perplexed as to why she's as popular as she is, to be honest. I guess in the comedy world, a woman who tells a bunch of unfunny racist jokes and fart jokes in an attempt to shock the audience is one of the best comedians alive, good enough to get her own show and her own movie based on her stand-up act. She seems to pander to the lowest denominator, so to speak, and the only reason her act gets as much praise as it does is because she happens to be a decent-looking woman who's "quirky". I don't begrudge her for that, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. Also, I know that a lot of comedians tell racist and gross jokes and I don't have a problem with that per se, it's just that her comedy isn't funny.

6. Bob Saget - Ever since he left Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos, Saget has based his entire career on the shock value of seeing TV's Danny Tanner cursing and telling dirty jokes. That would be great, except that's pretty much his entire act, just cursing a lot and telling dirty jokes, providing nothing that any other hack comic would deliver at amateur hour at your local comedy club, but because he's Bob Saget he gets millions of dollars for it.

5. Paula Poundstone

Man, what's her deal? She dresses up in men's suits and just drones on and on about random subjects and has all the stage presence of a frightened beetle. She's not very popular now, in large part due to the whole endangering children drunk driving and the whole sexual harassment of a minor thing, but back in the 1980s and 1990s, she was kind of a big deal, and I could never figure out why.

4. Kathy Griffin

Bottom Line: she's a famewhore who talks 500 miles a minute and owes her whole career to telling vile and hateful stories about whatever celebrity she just happened to run into or read about in US Weekly this week. She's nothing but a loudmouth who has built whatever name she has off of the names of others. Worst of all, she's not funny.

3. Patton Oswalt

Just painfully unfunny. I really have no other reason to hate on the guy other than that. Well, that and his trying to be profound and deep by expressing his half-baked political ideals, although to be fair, he's not the only one that does that.

2. Larry the Cable Guy

Larry the Cable Guy is a smart, smart, man. He developed a character and a style designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator of American society, tells a bunch of dumb jokes and came up with a slogan that's is both white-trash and short enough to fit on a hat. Now he's one of the biggest names in comedy and worth over 50 million dollars. Think about that for a second. Personally, I find his whole shtick to be nauseating, but the man sure can hustle.

1. Carlos Mencia

Say what you want about all of the other comedians on this list, and I have, but at least they have the decency to come up with their own material. Mencia, on the other hand, takes jokes from people that are actually funny and tries to pass them off as his own. Yet he somehow got his own TV show and millions of dollars anyway. Life isn't fair sometimes. Bottom line, Mencia is nothing more than a phony.

Well, there you have it. If you're least favorite comedian failed to make the list, than feel free to tell us why. So until next time, so long.

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