The Canon Review of two CSI; Miami Episodes

Today at the Canon Review, we are going to take a look at two random episodes of the world famous Televison show, CSI: Miami. CSI Miami is a show that has become famous for a variety of reasons, and I myself have watched many an episode, and yet I still can't figure out exactly why it's so popular. The show is just so over the top and the acting is bad, especially that of David Caruso, whose one liners that start off each episode have been compiled into a hilarious YouTube clip right here:



Wow, wasn't that just great. On with the first episode.

Episode 1: Cyber-lebity (Season 6, Episode 2) 

Wow, I don't know where to start here. A kid is murdered at a swim meet, old school style, with a crossbow. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Candide believes that it is connected to her newfound fame after someone posted a picture of her on the internet, and everybody went crazy over her. As it turns out, she's not wrong. The team investigate the case, meeting up with the athletic director who has a wall full of pictures of Candice in and out of the pool, which is rather creepy indeed. Since everybody on this show is supersmart, they figure out what crossbow was used after a montage of firing crossbows. Meanwhile, Wolfe, who normally is a part of the team but is on leave for reasons I don't remember, is assigned to be Candice's private security guard. More trouble ensues when the latest cyber-lebity becomes none other than good ol' Horatio Caine, and it is revealed to the public that he put away a mafia killer. Eventually, Caine's life in threatened, and his car is stolen too. The car was stolen by the mobster's son, who also set fire to a building but for some reason, is not charged with any crime after he was brought into custody. Ok then. Meanwhile, since everybody all of sudden knows about the physics of crossbows, we find out that it was a woman that took the shot. It turns out to be Candice's rival on the swim team, Miranda, who used her charms to get into the Athletic Director's office, grabbed a crossbow, calibrated it, and attempted a long distance shot that even the best trick shooter would have difficulty pulling off in order to kill Candice. I mean, in order to hit her target, she would have to miss the eight people in front of her and had about a quarter of a second, and even then it's unlikely to a killshot. The only problem was, Candice never got off the block, and Luke happened to be in the wrong spot at the wrong time. The shot Miranda was going for had a minute chance at best of hitting her target, so you got to wonder why she didn't try a more direct way to ice her rival.

Oh, but we're not finished, as Horatio gets one of his lab techs to post his location online to lure his stalker out. Turns out, it's the mobster's son, the same guy they let go two hours ago, and look, there happens to be a gun lying around. The son picks up the gun, Horatio tries to talk him out of it, but the kid fires four shots, and Horatio is, wait, he's still standing. Turns out Mr. Caine set the gun there himself and filled it with blanks, just to trick his nemesis. The kid gets arrested, and once again justice is served. Also, there's a stupid sub-plot involving Candice's father faking a kidnapping in order to scare his daughter, but we really don't need to get into that, now do we.  This episode was so ridicoulous it almost made sense. I'll give it a 4 out of 10.

Episode 2: Mia/NYC Non Stop (season 2, episode 23)

We start off with a teenage girl at a party. She realizes that she is late, and better get home or her parents will 'kill' her. That turns out to be a poor choice of words, because she gets home to find that her parents were brutally murdered. Horatio and the coroner arrive at the scene, and Horatio promises justice in the way only he can. Eventually, they find out that, due to the killer hocking up fluid, he lives in New York, because they're just that smart. Horatio finds out that he's back in New York, and he decided to go there himself and leave the kids at home. Up there, he meets Mac Taylor (Gary Sinise), and the rest of the New York CSI crew, which oddly enough, would have a show of their known mere months after this episode. Yes, my friends, this is the episode which launches CSI's second spin-off. When we meet Mac, he is at the murder scene of an undercover cop, when Horatio walks in. What's great about this scene is that while everything else is dark and gray, Horatio seems to have a bright aura around him, almost as if he's been superimposed in the shot. I'm sure it was a lighting trick, but still, The New York crew isn't as bombastic as their coharts from Miami, which is a bit of a relief.

Anyway, they nearly catch the killer, but he escapes, and then all of a sudden, they learn that he killed the wrong people in Miami, and has gone to New York to finish the job. So, he kills a millionaire and his wife, and their son suffered stab wounds but does live. It's discovered that the man had a little female company on the night of his murder, while his wife was passed out from a cocktail of pills. They interview the girl, she says she was there but didn't kill him. It's discovered that the woman also had an 'erotic encounter' with the son that night, which turns the investigation's attention towards him, since his knife wounds were different than the ones his parents suffered. But that turns out to be a red herring, as we finally discover that it was the doorman that hired the thug to kill them, in order to collect on some inheritance money the millionaire left him in his will after the doorman saved his life. The case wrapped up, Horatio waves goodbye to Mac, Mac turns around to say something to him, but Horatio makes like Houdini and disappears. Not a bad episode, and certainly not as silly as the previous one, but with all the different characters, it felt a little cluttered. I'll give it a 6.2 out of 10.

Overall, CSI: Miami is a silly little show that anybody can pick up on the storyline in about 25 seconds, so a lot of people watch it due to its mixture of simplicity and excitement. Nothing wrong with that, but there are times where things are so over the top that the show just becomes downright silly. Also, the acting ranges from decent to ridiculous, so it's no surprise that nobody's been nominated for an Emmy. There are worse shows than this on the air, but there are much better shows as well. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for blog posts or reviews, let me know about them either by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com or some other way.