This post is inspired, so to speak, by Monday's post which featured the music video Let's Go Mets. If you haven't seen it, well, it's pretty bad. But the Mets were far from alone. One of the most disturbing trends from the 1980s is that sports teams felt the need to produce music videos. Apparently, they though just because someone can hit a ball real far or run real fast, they could also sing and dance. This mentality produced some of the cheesiest videos to come out of the 80s, which is really saying something. Below is just a few samples of this phenomenon.
The Super Bowl Shuffle (1985 Chicago Bears)
The original, and most well known of these videos, is the Super Bowl Shuffle. This video was recorded some six weeks or so before the Super Bowl. Fortunately for the Bears, they made the Super Bowl, otherwise they would have looked like fools. Well, some of them already look like fools. Watch out for Steve Fuller (#4), as he dances like he's high on meth. Also, he's not a good rapper. Also, watch for the punter (Maury Buford) playing the cowbell. Even in music videos, the punter gets no respect. This video is missing one thing, and that is Steve McMichael. Imagine what Mongo could come up with in this video.
Baseball Boogie (1986 Los Angeles Dodgers)
First of all, check out those jackets. Nothing says macho more than a pink satin jacket. The star of this video has to be Orel Hershiser (the white guy in the blue jacket). Orel may have been a heck of a pitcher, but he had to be one of the worst dancers to be put on camera. I'm not much of a dancer myself, but I hope and pray I could do better moves than Orel, particularly that creepy shoulder shimmy at the beginning.
Silver and Black Attack (1986 Los Angeles Raiders)
This is one of the most repetitive songs in the world. They play the chorus at least 12 times. Who decided to make this video almost seven minutes long anyway. I don't know who the best rapper is, but the worst is either coach Tom Flores or Todd Christiensen (#46). Also, I like how Matt Millen (#55) is the only guy in the video that was wearing a hat. He also goes through his rap with the enthusiasm of a man buying hemorrhoid cream.
Ram It (1986 Los Angeles Rams)
Words do this song no justice. I will say that Nolan Cromwell (#21) gets the award for "Guy most out of place" in this video. Surely someone must have thought that "Ram It" might be an euphemism for something else. I guess they either didn't care or found it funny and just left the video as is.
There are others, but I have suffered enough for one day, and I'm sure you have too. If you have any ideas for future posts or reviews, then e-mail them to me at KtheC2001@gmail.com. Remember everyone, if you can ram it just right, you can ram it all day and ram it all night.
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