Saturday, April 24, 2010

Let's talk about Beer Money

No, I'm not talking about actual Beer Money. I'm talking about the TNA Tag Team Beer Money, comprised of James Storm and Robert Roode. See, they're called Beer Money because James Storm drinks a lot of beer and Robert Roode has a lot of money, or at least that's what the storyline says. Anyway, some people consider Beer Money to be the best tag team in the world. Those people probably don't watch too much Japanese or Mexican wrestling, but then again I hardly watch any wrestling these days so I'm not qualified to say who the best tag team in the world is. However, I have to give Beer Money its due for being one of the few homegrown acts TNA has created that has actually succeeded, instead of their usual policy of pushing guys that use to wrestle for the WWE and WCW. Since I haven't seen enough of Beer Money to judge them properly, I decided to watch a few of their matches over the past couple of years and see just how good Beer Money is.

Match 1: Beer Money (w/Jacqueline) vs. LAX (Homicide and Hernandez, w/Hector Guerrero and Salinas), World Tag Team Title Match, Hard Justice 2008

The story coming into this match was that a week before the PPV, Beer Money put Homicide through a glass table (or rather, a table with a pane of glass on top of it). Because of this, Homicide has his eye taped up. LAX has some rapper named F.I.L.T.H.E.E. come out with them and sing their theme song. It wasn't my type of music, but whatever. LAX decides to waste no time and go after their opponents with brawling tactics. LAX dominates the first few minutes of the match, and Hernandez hits an awesome suicide dive on Beer Money where he lands on his feet. Not bad for a guy that weighs 280 pounds. Back in the ring, Homicide has the advantage until Storm spits beer in his injured eye. Beer Money uses this opening to attack and gouge Homicide's injured eye. They get a couple of two counts after a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Roode and a brainbuster from Storm. Back in, Roode mocks Hector's late brother Eddy with his version of the "three amigos" suplexes. He even does the chest slap and everything, the bastard. Roode misses a top-rope splash, which allows Homicide to get the hot tag to Hernandez, who starts taking out people like a wrecking ball. Beer Money uses a double team on Hernandez to get a two-count, but Hernandez recovers and tags back Homicide. Homicide hits a big splash from the top on Storm for two. Everybody's in now, but LAX eventually get control of the ring and send Beer Money to the apron. Homicide and Hernandez argue about their next move, and Hernandez picks Homicide up for the Border Toss (Outsider's Edge). He launches Homicide over the top rope onto both members of Beer Money, taking out all three men. Hernandez must have thrown Homicide at least 10 feet on that move. Back in the ring, Hernandez tries to avalanche Roode, but Roode moves out of the way and Hernandez goes flying to the outside. Roode follows him out, and after a low blow on Hernandez from Jacqueline, the two seconds get into a skirmish. Meanwhile, Homicide sets up Storm for the Gringo Killer (vertabreaker), but Roode hits Homicide in the face with a beer bottle, allowing Storm to get the cover and the win. Pretty good match between two good teams, and the psychology of this match was quite sound. I'll give it a 3.4853085 out of 5.

Match 2: Beer Money vs. Lethal Consequences (Consequences Creed and Jay Lethal) vs. Matt Morgan and Abyss, World Tag Team Title, Genesis 2009-

The show prior to the PPV, Lethal Consequences cashed in on a "Feast or Fired" tag team title shot and won the belts from Beer Money. Because Morgan and Abyss were already the number-one contenders, the powers-that-be decided that this would be a three-team tag team match.  Storm comes to the ring riding a cooler on a Razor scooter. He has deemed the contraption the "Boozer Cruiser". Very clever, I must say. This match probably would have better off if it was just Beer Money vs. Lethal Consequences, as they did about 90 percent of the work anyway and the other two guys just stood there most of the match. At least Morgan did a dive off of the top rope to the outside on both opposing tag teams, an impressive looking dive for a seven foot tall man, I must say. Abyss and Morgan aren't bad wrestlers, per se, but their opponents moved at a much faster pace than they could possibly keep up with, especially Lethal, who is probably the quickest wrestler on TNA's roster. Speaking of which, I really wish he would drop the whole "Black Machismo" act, as while it was funny at first and helped him stand out, it's kind of played out even by this point and especially now. The match was decent, although the ending was dumb, as Abyss caught one of the tag belts thrown in by Beer Money, walked around for half a minute, and accidentally hit his partner with the belt while swinging at Roode. Morgan got pinned and Beer Money regain the belts. I'll give this match a 2.42 out of 5.

Match 3: Beer Money vs. Team 3-D, World Tag Team Title Match, Slammiversary 2009

Team 3-D are the champions heading into this match. Storm once again comes out on his Boozer Cruiser. Mike Tenay brings up the fact that Team 3-D, due to having a match in Japan, are coming off of a 20 hour flight back to Detroit for this match. If they were jet-lagged, than it certainly didn't look like it, as Team 3-D looked sharp in this match. The match starts with Team 3-D in control, delivering blows to their opponents. Bubba Ray does a overhead German Suplex on Roode, and poor Roode lands on the back of his head. Ouch! It seems as if Beer Money is taking most of the bumps in this match, as Team 3-D is getting twice as much offense in the match than Beer Money. Bubba hits some of his trademark spots, including the Bubba Bomb, and Team 3-D hits the WAZZUP!? headbutt they've been using for a decade now. D-Von goes to get the tables, but takes too long and Beer Money gains the advantage. They hit their trademark double suplex and scream BEER MONEY!!, as they are wont to do. The British Invasion comes out to do guest commentary. From there, the match pace really picks up, as the two teams exchange a series of two counts, including a top-rope hurracanrana/money shot combo from Storm and Roode, and a Doomsday Device from Team 3-D on Roode. Eventually, the British Invasion get involved, and Bubba dives from the top onto two of the members, while Doug Williams, the third member, gets shoved off of the apron and through a table by D-Von. But the distraction allows Storm to hit the Last Call (superkick) on D-Von, setting him up for the DWI (simoultenious powerbomb and neckbreaker). Beer Money gets the tainted victory to become Tag Team Champions for the third time. Good match, but I could have done without the outside interference. I'll give it a three out of 5.

Match 4: Beer Money vs. The Band (Kevin Nash and Syxx-Pac), Genesis 2010

This match is a result of The Band (Nash, Syxx, and Scott Hall) attacking Beer Money backstage on an episode of TNA Impact. Nash and Syxx represent The Band, while Beer Money comes out fired up. Storm spits beer in Nash's face, and it is on. Beer Money starts out in control of Syxx, hitting a couple of double team moves on their opponent. Nash comes in and proves hard to knock off of his feet, but a flying clothesline from Roode finally gets the big man down. The two members of Beer Money use the wishbone on Nash, and fight off Syxx until Nash finally takes control for the Band by nailing Storm. The next five minutes or so are spent with Storm getting beaten up by his advesaries, including taking elbows in the corner from Nash and the Bronco Buster from Syxx. Tazz keeps calling Syxx X-Pac, which amuses Mike Tenay greatly.  Storm finally gets control by hitting the lungblower on Nash, which gives him enough time to make the Hot Tag to Roode. Roode gives Syxx a series of clotheslines and a back drop. Roode also hits a spinebuster on Pac, but Nash comes to break up the cover. I haven't mentioned this before, but Robert Roode may have the best spinebuster in American Wrestling, much better looking than Triple H's or Batista's. Anyway, Beer Money does their double suplex and signature BEER MONEY! taunt. Scott Hall comes out, and Nash clothesline both Storm and Roode down. Hall attacks a fan for some reason, which distracts Syxx. Nash sets up Roode for the Jacknife, but Storm hits the Last Call on Nash, and Roode covers Nash for the three count. Nash doing the job? Will Wonders ever cease? Wasn't too bad, but nothing to write home about. I'll give it a 2.41 out of 5.

So, what did I learn from all of this? That Beer Money is actually a solid tag team, even if their name is kind of ridiculous once you first hear it. Of the two, Roode's probably the better wrestler, and Storm's got the most charisma, but each man brings enough to the table, and they work really well as a team. TNA may get a lot of crap for the booking decisions they have made over the years, and most of it is well deserved, but putting Storm and Roode together was one of the best decisions they have made.

Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future posts on The Canon Review, than let me know about them, either by leaving a comment or by e-mail at, or if you see me sometime and have an idea, than let me know about it.

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