Thursday, September 30, 2010

Fun with YouTube Recommendations: Sept. 30, 2010

Well, I had a couple of ideas about reviews for The Canon Review, but they'll probably take a while to do, and I want to go to bed soon, so I've decided to do a quick little post dedicated to videos that a web site tells me to watch based on other videos I've watched on the same site. So, let's get started, shall we.

Video 1: 80s Christopher Cross Ride Like the Wind - This is by far my favorite Christopher Cross song, although that's not saying a lot since I know about three Christopher Cross songs. This is a live performance from 1979. Two things about this video, one, check out the guitarist doing backup vocals at about 1:45. It looks as if he's a fish chomping down on a hook. Two, I don't want to judge a book by its cover, but I have a hard time believing a guy like Christopher Cross is the type of guy that's 'lived nine lives, gunned down ten' as the lyrics suggest. Despite that, it's still quite a catchy song.



Video 2: Super Bowl XX: Bears vs. Patriots - Last 2:00 - Like the title says, this is the last two minutes of Super Bowl XX between the Chicago Bears and the New England Patriots. It's not very exciting, since the Bears were up 46-10 at the time. All the Bears do is run out the clock with Thomas Sanders three times before ending the game. But at least Sanders had a couple of good runs. The announcers (Dick Enberg, Bob Griese, and Merlin Olsen of Mitchell fame) speculate about whether or not the Bears' success will last for a few years. Well, it did and it didn't, as the Bears won a lot of games the next three years, but only won one playoff game during that time before collapsing to a 6-10 mark in 1989. After the game, both coach Mike Ditka and defensive coordinator Buddy Ryan are carried on their' players shoulders in celebration, which is kind of symbolic in that both men had a power struggle for years before Ryan left to coach the Philadelphia Eagles. It's not the most action packed video ever, but it is a nice piece of football history as the Bears celebrate their only Super Bowl win thus far.



Video 3: Deion Sanders - Must be the Money - Prime Time may be one of the most exciting players to play football, but as a rapper, he makes Shaquille O'Neal look like Dr. Dre. In this classic from 1994, Deion raps about having a lot of money, and spends the music video showing off the lifestyle that his money has brought him. The song is rather repetitive, as half of it is just Deion saying "must be the money" followed by his backup singers repeating that mantra. Deion also wears a hot pink suit throughout much of the video, which is a look that's probably best left in the 1990s. Overall, at least Deion's not as bad a rapper as Macho Man Randy Savage, so he's got that going for him.



Video 4: Kidd Video Opening Song - Remember the 1980s cartoon Kidd Video? Yeah, me neither. From what I can tell, Kidd Video was about a four person band who gets sucked up into a cartoon world in order to become some fat guy's musical saves. With the help of a fairy in leggings with a powerful sneeze, the band fights off being controlled by the evil fat man and try to make the world a better place, or something like that. Also, some of the show takes place in the physical world, so half of the show is a cartoon and half of it isn't, if that makes sense. Perhaps I should watch an episode or two of this Kidd Video. I just want to know how this video ended up in my recommendations. Also, is it me, or does that kid in the purple shirt look like he's thirty?



I think that's enough video madness for now. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future reviews, or comments about this review, then share them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Canon Video Challenge: Wrestlers and their Names, Vol. 2

The premise for this post is simple. I type in the name of wrestler on a video search engine (in this case, Bing), take the number of characters of the wrestler's name, and watch the corresponding video. For example, if I were to type in John Cena, I would watch the eighth video because the name John Cena has eight letters in it. Got it? Good. Let's move on then.

1. Kevin Steen - PCO vs. Kevin Steen vs. El Generico in a IWS 3-Way Match

The master of the Package Piledriver, Kevin Steen, is featured in a three way match against his frequent partner El Generico and former WWF Tag Team Champion Pierre Carl Oulette. The video is basically a highlight reel of the high points of the match, and it seems as if most of the match has Steen and Generico constantly bumping like pinballs for the much bigger Oulette. Oulette throws his opponents around with ease, especially poor Generico, as he landed head first at an exploder suplex from Oulette into the corner. The three men also do a lot of high flying moves, including a somersault plancha from Oulette and 450 splashes from both Steen and Generico onto each other. The finish came after Oulette hit his finisher, the Cannonball (a somersault senton from the top rope) on Steen after Generico hit his 450, but was pulled out by Oulette. From what I could tell, this was probably a decent match, so I'll give the video a 2.5 out of 5.



2. Dick Togo - TAKA Michinoku vs DICK Togo on Raw

The video starts with a D-X skit at an airport where Triple-H ends up flying a plane somewhere, much to the dismay of Road Dogg and his high priced airplane goggles. The video then cuts to the announcers talking about Vince McMahon's actions earlier tonight, and Al Snow comes out from the crowd with a cowboy hat on. He goes over to Jerry Lawler and screams in his face about something before security escorts Al to the back. Finally, we get to the match. Togo jumps TAKA at the beginning of the match with some stomps, and then throws TAKA with a belly-to-belly suplex. TAKA counters an irish whip with a spinning heel kick, sending Togo to the outside, which gives TAKA a chance to deliver a springboard plancha from the top turnbuckle to the outside. Back in, TAKA retains control with a series of kicks, including a missile dropkick from the top rope. TAKA calls for the Michinoku Driver, but instead he tries another top rope move, only to take a dropkick to the gut from Togo. TAKA rolls to the outside, and Togo delivers a somersault off the apron into TAKA. Back in, TAKA counters a German Suplex with a flip, and grabs Togo from behind. However, Yamaguchi-San distracts the referee, allowing Togo to mule kick TAKA and follow that up with a Pele kick. That gets 2. Togo whips TAKA off the rope and catches him with a quick power slam, which also gets two. Togo gets another 2 count with a body slam and a second rope moonsault. Togo whips TAKA into the corner, but misses a splash. TAKA tries for a Tornado DDT, but Togo throws him off. TAKA reverses an irish whip and then huracanranas Togo down and holds on, getting the three count. After the match, Togo's Kaientei mates Funaki and Men's Teioh come out, and the three beat down on TAKA. Togo finishes the beatdown with his trademark senton. Quick match, but very well done and entertaining. I'll give it a 3.3 out of 5.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ajr1rQzPBs 
 

3. Hugh Morrus - Konan and Hugh Morrus vs. Ice Train and Alex Wright


This match is from the May 12, 1997 episode of Monday Nitro. Konan and Hugh Morrus are accompanied to the ring by Jimmy Hart. Some of the Baltimore Ravens, including a young Ray Lewis, are in the crowd watching this show. Teddy Long accompanies the other team to the ring. Wright's a little late getting to the ring, but that's all right, because Ice Train counters a double team with a shoulder block on Konnan and a Power Slam on Hugh Morrus. Wright wants the tag, and he gets it. Wright then goes to work on Morrus with kicks and punches, but seems to anger Morrus with a slap. Wright sees the anger in Morrus's eyes, and quickly tags out to Ice Train. Morrus struggles to pull the big Ice Train into the ring, finally getting him in on the fourth attempt. Morrus and Train brawl some while Wright dances on the outside. Train gets the advantage with an avalanche in the corner and goes to tag Wright, but Alex's trick knee suddenly gives out, so he must get off the apron. This angers Teddy Long, so Wright shoves him and leaves the ring, walking without a limp. Hey, wait a minute, Wright was faking! The scoundrel! Morrus tries to position Ice Train for his No Laughing Matter moonsault, but fails, so eventually he just climbs off the top rope and elbow drops Ice Train. Konnan puts Train in the Tequilla Sunrise submission hold to end the match. Wright then talks to the camera about how good he is and dances some more. What a mess. I'll give it a 0.6 out of 5.


Konan & Hugh Morrus vs Ice Train & Alex Wright
Uploaded by TSteck160. - Check out more sports and extreme sports videos.

4. Adrian Adonis- Adrian Adonis in Piper's Pit

This segment took place in 1985, just before the WWF's Wrestling Challenge PPV event. Piper explains his disbelief that the WWF has decided to give a wrestling fan a Rolls-Royce during the event. Piper then runs down all of the participants of the Wrestling Challenge, voicing displeasure at Cpl. Kirschner's being in the tournament. Adonis also says that it's a disgrace that the WWF will give a fan a Rolls-Royce when they can't drive "and don't have the scratch to fill the gas tank". Adonis then talks a lot before concluding that he will do his talking in the ring and telling the fans to drive safe and 'may the Lord be your companion." Well, that was nice. Piper wraps up the segment with a joke, and that's all.



I'm getting kind of tired, so I think I'll wrap things up here. Well, thanks for reading. Remember, if you have any ideas for future reviews, or comments about this or previous reviews, then send them to me either by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com or by leaving a comment on the blog.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Canon Review List-A-Mania: The Ten Worst Quarterbacks in Atlanta Falcons History

Last week, I put together a list of the Top Ten Quarterbacks in Atlanta Falcons history, which you can read right here. So after that, Canon Review reader Ben W. asked for a companion list naming the ten worst quarterbacks in Falcons history. Well, with so many fine candidates to choose from, I have decided to do just that. So, without further adieu, here are the worst ten quarterbacks to ever play for the Atlanta Falcons.

10. Dick Shiner (Falcons Career: 1971-1973) - Maybe if his name was Rick Shiner or Dick Snyder, I would have chosen someone else. But Shiner, while he had his moments, just wasn't that good in Atlanta, as he threw four more interceptions than touchdowns (9-8) and put up a quarterback rating of 67.0 during his Falcons career. Plus, how am I supposed to ignore a man with the name of Dick Shiner. I suppose there are men with more unfortunate names, but I mean, come on. Can you imagine if Dick Shiner played today? We'd be getting bad joke after bad joke about the man's moniker.

9. Brett Favre (1991) - Favre made the best quarterbacks list at this spot because of what he went on to do elsewhere, but in his one year in Atlanta, Favre threw exactly four passes, two of which were intercepted. When Favre was picked by the Falcons in the 1991 NFL Draft, coach Jerry Glanville was not happy, and at one point Glanville said that it would "take a plane crash" for Favre to get in the game. Not to mention that Favre took rather kindly to the Atlanta nightlife during his short stay there. So, in 1992, the Falcons traded Favre to Green Bay, and the rest is history. Now, in hindsight, the Falcons should have kept Favre, but at the time, I guess the deal made sense. Although even if Falcons' brass had no idea what Favre would become, it does seem awfully quick to give up on a high second round pick, but I digress.

8. Tony Graziani (1997-1999) - Graziani was a seventh round pick from the University of Oregon that the Falcons hoped would develop into a solid backup for Chris Chandler, or something. Instead, when Graziani got his chance, the Falcons were so disenchanted they had to turn to a 43 year-old Steve DeBerg to relieve him. In three seasons, Graziani completed less than 50 percent of his passes and threw eight interceptions against two touchdowns. After leaving the Falcons, Graziani had some success as an Arena League quarterback, once throwing 99 touchdowns in a single season. Also, he was quite impressive in relief of an injured Chris Chandler in my Madden 2000 franchise done so many years ago. I remember he threw for something like 18 touchdowns and 4 interceptions, and was so impressive I considered trading Chandler in spite of Graziani's low rating on the game. I'm sure nobody else wants to hear about my video game accomplishments, but honestly, that's my strongest memory of Graziani other than watching him hold a clipboard behind Dan Reeves.

7. June Jones (1977-1981) - The only Falcons quarterback to later become the team's head coach, Jones was actually named the team's starting quarterback over Steve Bartkowski to begin the 1978 season. That lasted three games, as Jones completed 9 out of 28 passes in the last two games he started and Bartkowski was back at the helm. Jones, quite frankly, never played well when given his shot, as his completion percentage of 45.2 was unacceptable and he put up a QB rating of 51.4. Later, Jones would coach the Falcons to a playoff berth in 1995, and coached the University of Hawaii to the Sugar Bowl in 2007. I guess the old saying is true, those who can do, and those who can't teach.

6. Mike Moroski (1979-1984) - Moroski was a 6th round pick out of Cal-Davis and was primarily a backup for Steve Bartkowski during his tenure with the club. Moroski did have a 303 yard, two touchdown performance in a 1983 win against the Green Bay Packers, but other than that, Moroski was rather mediocre. Moroski got an extended look in 1984 when Bartkowski went down to injury, and the results (2 tds, 9 ints, 56.8 qb rating) were not pretty. But, at least he did have a moment in the sun.

5. Randy Johnson (1966-1970) - Johnson was a first round pick in the 1966 NFL Draft, and since the expansion Falcons had no one else better, Johnson was thrown into the fray right away. That probably wasn't the best move for everyone involved, as Johnson had to adjust to the NFL playing with an expansion team and running for his life behind a patchwork line. The results were not pretty, as Johnson threw nearly twice as many interceptions than touchdowns (65-34), completed less than 50 percent of his passes (48.1), and went 8-28-1 as a starter during his five year stay in Atlanta. Unfortunately, life wasn't very kind to Johnson after leaving Atlanta, as he battled for years with substance abuse and passed away in 2009 as a recluse with few friends and little money.

4. Doug Johnson (2000-2003) - Doug Johnson may have better statistics than a lot of other men on this list, but he ranks this high because he was the most frustrating quarterback I ever remember watching playing for the Falcons. Yes, his completion percentage (57.0) was decent, but Johnson seemed to have a tendency to overthrow his receivers by at least ten yards. Whether it was a deep pass to Peerless Price or a screen to Warrick Dunn, Johnson would wind up and fire the ball as hard as he could. The man threw some of the prettiest overthrown passes that you will ever see. In fact, he did this so often that it became an inside joke between my brother and I as whenever we toss the football around and one of us overthrows a pass, we say we 'Doug Johnson'd' the throw. Johnson got most of his playing time in 2003, as Michael Vick broke his leg in the presason and Johnson was pressed into action. The first game, a win against the Dallas Cowboys, was a victory, but Johnson lost his next eight starts with a 6-11 touchdown to interception ratio. Of course, without Vick, Johnson was the best option the Falcons had, and when he went down due to injury, the next man that stepped in was ...

3. Kurt Kittner (2002-2003) - Transitioning from Johnson to Kittner was like going from being repeatedly  punched in the jaw to being repeatedly punched in the groin. Kittner may have led Illinois to the 2002 Sugar Bowl, but as a pro, he wasn't so good. Of all the quarterbacks that threw 100 or more passes in a single season in the past decade, Kittner was the only quarterback to complete less than 40 percent of his passes (38.6). Kittner's 32.5 QB Rating is also the lowest of any quarterback with over 100 throws in a single season since 1981. Yes, worse than any season put up by Ryan Leaf, Jarmarcus Russell, Heath Shuler, and every other bad quarterback you can think of over the past 25 years.

2. Pat Sullivan (1972-1975) - After winning the Heisman Trophy in 1971, the Falcons picked Sullivan in the second round of the 1972 Draft, hoping that he would be the quarterback of the future. Things didn't quite work out that way, as Sullivan started five games in his four seasons with the club, and lost them all. In 220 career passes, Sullivan threw 16 interceptions against five touchdowns, and put up a QB rating of 36.5. Sullivan may have been a college legend, but like so many others, his game just didn't translate to the next level.

1. Kim McQuilken (1974-1977) - McQuilken is not only the worst quarterback in Falcons' history, he may be the most inept quarterback in the history of football. Put it this way, if you throw one incomplete pass, your QB Rating is 39.6. In his four years with the Falcons, McQuilken's QB Rating was 18.2. During his Falcons' career, McQuilken threw four touchdown passes and 29 interceptions in a mere 268 attempts. His completion percentage was 39.7. For his career, McQuilken's QB Rating of 17.9 is the lowest among players with at least 100 pass attempts in the last 60 years. With the Falcons' having a history full of failure, it's only fitting that the game's worst quarterback spent four seasons in a Falcons uniform.

Well, that was fun. The truth is, there were a few bad quarterbacks that didn't crack the top ten, like Joey Harrington, Byron Leftwich, David Archer, and others, but I think 10 was enough. Thanks for reading, and remember, if you have any ideas for future reviews, or comments about this or previous reviews, then send them to me either by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com or by leaving a comment on the blog.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Canon Book Review: Countdown to Lockdown

Before I begin this review, I'd first like to plug my good friend Sonny Bone's new website, http://www.axebombermag.com. The website is the result of all of the positive feedback from the digital magazine Axe Bomber Magazine, and instead of waiting three months to release another issue, it has been decided by the powers-that-be that a website would be more prudent. That way, any breaking news on wrestling video games and other related topics will be covered right away. Already, there is a preview of the newly announced Fire Pro wrestling game for the XBox 360 to be released in the near future. So check it out, and be on the lookout for new articles, including some by yours truly, relating to wrestling video games at axebombermag.com.

Now for today's review. Recently I was fortunate to get my hands on an advance copy of Mick Foley's 4th autobiography, Countdown to Lockdown. I'd like to thank my friend Dickson S. for providing me with a copy of the book. See, Dickson works at a TV station, and the station was sent an advance copy of the book a couple of weeks ago. For whatever reason, they gave the book to Dickson, who then proceeded to give me the copy of the book so I could have the rare opportunity of reviewing something on this site before it was released to the public. So thanks again, Dickson, and I hope you enjoy this review of Mick Foley's Countdown to Lockdown, which will be available in stores on October 1st.

As previously mentioned, this is the fourth biography written by wrestler Mick Foley (Have a Nice Day, Foley is Good, and The Hardcore Diaries being the other three). This book is written in a similar style to The Hardcore Diaries in that a large portion of the book is a journal detailing the buildup and events leading up to a big match. In this case, Foley is chronicling the events leading up to his big steel cage match with his old rival Sting at TNA's Lockdown 2009 event in Philadelphia, PA, the home of many a Mick Foley classic match in the past. The book differs from The Hardcore Diaries in that, this time, Foley seems to have complete support from the TNA creative team, as he's able to offer suggestions and basically carry out the angle with Sting the way he sees fit. Because of that, Foley seems to be more upbeat than he was while writing The Hardcore Diaries. However, Foley also struggles with self-doubt over his physical condition and whether or not he can deliver a high quality match with Sting in the main event of a TNA pay-per-view.

In between journal entries, Foley writes about the events that took place between the completion of The Hardcore Diaries and the writing of this book, including Foley's announcing career, which eventually would lead to his departure from WWE due to a series of disagreements with Vince McMahon. Also, Foley details his charity work and his travels to Mexico and Sierra Leone, his family's venture into reality television (which, unfortunately, never aired), and his celebrity encounter with Tori Amos, whose music has been a constant source of inspirtation to Foley. Also, Foley tackles serious subjects such as the large amount of wrestlers dying young and the use of steroids in wrestling and sports.

Throughout the book, Foley writes about the conflicts he had with Vince McMahon and the WWE brass. To his credit, Foley often takes the high road when dealing with the events that led to his resignation with the WWE, choosing not to bury Vince and the WWE. Unlike some other wrestlers, Foley does not use his book as an  opportunity to settle scores or bury other people he may of had a problem with. Well, he did kind of go off about his old dog Pom Pom, although in that case I could definitely see why. Like his last books, Foley is not afraid to drop a name or two, which can get annoying at times, but heck if I had met a bunch of famous people I might do the same thing.

Overall, Countdown to Lockdown is not a bad read by any means. Yes, it's not as good as Foley's Have a Nice Day, and to be honest, the book is kind of hard to get into at the beginning, at least to me. But as a whole, the book is an entertaining read that will interest any wrestling fan and will provide readers with laughs as well as something to think about. Overall, I give Countdown to Lockdown a 7.5 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future reviews, or comments about this review, then share them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com


Thursday, September 23, 2010

Canon MST3K Review: The She Creature

Earlier this afternoon, I decided to watch Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episode 808, which is a little movie called The She Creature. Yes, The She Creature is as bad as it sounds. Anyway, this movie was made in 1956 and directed by Edward L. Cahn, who directed a whole bunch of other movies that are nowadays found on DVD for 1 dollar at Wal-Mart, and stars a lot of B-movie veterans such as the leading man of This Island Earth, Lance Fuller. The plot of this movie is as follows; a man named Dr. Carlo Lombardi is summoning up The She-Creature for reasons unknown, and the She-Creature is going around killing people. Meanwhile, Lombardi has a woman named Andrea under his hypnotic trance, and Lombardi is desperate to prove that his whole schtick of reverting people to past lives and summoning sea creatures is all legit. To do so, he tries to convince a Mr. Ted Erickson (Fuller), a professor of Psychic Research. Erickson is skeptical of Lombardi, but becomes smitten with Andrea and spends the rest of the movie trying to free Andrea from Lombardi's psychic hold. A few notes about this movie:

- Man, there's some bad acting in this film. Fuller in particular is just horrible, as his acting ranges from a state of disinterest to acting like he's been shot with a tranquilizer dart. He never bothers to make eye contact with any of the other actors, often has a blank stare on his face, and mumbles his lines to the point where you can't hear what he's saying and he just trails off. The show even featured a skit with Mike Nelson trying to perfect Lance Fuller's particular brand of acting, or non-acting, as it were. As it turns out, it was a little harder than expected, such is the depth of Fuller's wooden performance.

- Meanwhile, Dr. Lombardi, played by Chester Morris, was a deadly serious man who acts as if humor and wit is a foreign concept. He has a creepy relationship with Andrea, sends the She-Creature to kill innocent people for little to no reason and has an ego the size of Montana. Plus, he has a dark thin mustache and wears a cloak, so you know he's evil. He's also much more interesting than Erickson, so you kind of find yourself rooting for him to kill off Erickson.

- It was mentioned during the film that the woman playing Andrea (Marla English) should have been given a Purple Heart for her role in the film. That may be a little far, but considering she spent most of the movie with Lombardi right up in her face the whole time, and Lombardi is not a handsome man by any means, she should have at least been given a bonus.

- The best actor in this cast is, by far, the dog that played King. He barks and growls and cowers on command, and actually shows more than one emotion, unlike most of his costars. Actually, he was the only character I was interested in seeing on the screen.

- Erickson, for reasons unknown to me, hangs around an older rich gentleman named Chappel and his daughter Dorothy, who is smitten with the professor. This in spite of the fact that he expresses on multiple occasions a disdain for the wealthy and affluent. Yet he still keeps coming back to their parties, eating their food and being served by their butlers. What's more, Erickson has a rich, pretty blonde women whose way into him and seems to be pleasant enough, yet he chooses to go after Andrea, who has more baggage than the Atlanta airport and has all the personality of a house plant. Come to think of it, Erickson has that same personality, so maybe they're meant for each other.

- As for the She-Creature, well she's some sort of crustacean type who is about as big as The Great Khali and can not be slowed down with bullets. She also moves about as slow as the Great Khali, and her finishing move is the same as Khali's an overhead chop to the head, which is rather effective with her claw hands. Now, how can you tell she's a She-Creature, you ask? Well, the designers of the costume decided to make the She-Creature rather well-endowed, so to speak, making for one strange looking sea monster.

Overall, I think Mike Nelson summed it up best when he said that he'd like to put this movie in a stump grinder. There's so much wrong with this movie. The acting is terrible, the lighting is nearly as bad, and the plot is rather simple and full of holes to boot. Even the riffs on the movie seemed to be lacking something. I'd give the movie a 2.0 out of 10, and the episode a 4.8 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future reviews, or comments about this review, then share them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Canon Video Game Review: Shove It ... The Warehouse Game (Sega Genesis)

Today I'm going to review a little video game with a somewhat offensive title, Shove It. Unfortunately, they had to ruin the angry spirit of the title by adding 'The Warehouse Game' to it. Shove It is a game for the Sega Genesis that was released in 1990 and published by DreamWorks, and no, it is not the same DreamWorks that produced such films as Gladiator and Biker Boyz. No, this Dreamworks published a few other games for the Sega Genesis in the early 1990s, but never did produce a hit video game. Here is a look at the cover for Shove It, courtesy of allgame.com:


In Shove It, you play as a warehouse worker named Stevedore. Obviously they didn't put much thought in the name. Besides, a stevedore usually refers to a worker that moves cargo off and on ships, and while you may be moving cargo, there is no ship that I am aware of in this game. Anyway, the plot of the game is this, Stevedore has met a girl and has fallen for her, but in order to gain her interest, he must get a brand new sports car. In order to do that, Stevedore must complete moving all the boxes at the warehouse. There are 16 levels in the game, each with 10 puzzles. In order to complete each level, you must shove the boxes in the correct spot, which is marked with a white circle. The controls are remarkably simple, as you use the d-pad to move the boxes, the b button brings up a menu with a few options (including restart, which trust me gets a lot of use in the game) and the a button allows you to pull the box back one space after you have shoved it.

Sounds simple enough, right? Well not so fast, my friend. For one, you can only push the boxes, not pull the boxes (or otherwise the game might be called shove and tug it or something). Also, you can only undo the last shove you make, so if you accidentally move a box into a corner and leave it, well, tough luck. Make no mistake about it, this is a challenging puzzle game, even in the early levels, and things only get harder as more and more boxes have to be moved. The game gives you a password to use after completing each level (i.e. 10 rooms), so that's something at least. The graphics are incredibly simple, as it's just an overhead shot of Stevedore in the warehouse moving boxes. The surroundings slightly change with each level, but really there's only so much you can do with this type of game. Also, there's an animation of Stevedore shoving a box after you finish each room. The audio in this game is basically one thirty second track that was played on an electric keyboard and loops over and over again. If you wanted to play this game, I would suggest turning the sound off and listening to some music, as you're not really missing anything with the sound on. There is also an edit mode where you can create your own puzzles, but the problem is you can't save them after you stop playing the game.

Overall, I can't imagine anyone dropping 50 dollars on this title back when it came out, as Shove It is a rather simple game in its presentation. But that's not to say that Shove It is a bad game. In fact, it's a rather challenging puzzle game that can be rather addictive. Shove It is far from the worst game to come out for the Genesis, and is actually quite a fun little time waster, even if there are many games similar to this that you could probably play for free somewhere on the internet. Overall, I'll give Shove It a 6.09 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future reviews, or comments about this review, then share them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Canon Restaurant Review: Romano's Macaroni Grill, Buford, GA

Earlier this evening, myself and 36 other people went to Buford and dined at Romano's Macaroni Grill to celebrate the birthday of a friend. Okay, it wasn't 36 people, more like 14. Nevertheless, that's a lot of people to sit at one table. Actually, it was three tables turned into one table, but you know what I mean.

We get there, and wait a couple of minutes outside while the staff gets our tables set up. Well, at first we didn't have enough room, so the staff had to set up another series of tables so everybody had enough room to move around in the place. Even without our mass of tables, the dining area did seem a bit crowded, as there didn't look to be too much room between tables. The dining area itself is somewhat dimly lit, as it was to read the menu with the lack of light in the place. I would prefer a more well-lit area, but that's just me and others probably don't mind as much as I did. Romano's has an open kitchen, so diners can view their food being cooked if they are close enough. This did me little good, as we were on the other side, but I found it to be interesting.

The waiting staff provided us some bread and a plate of appetizers before our order came. The bread was all right, not the best nor the worst I've ever had. The appetizer plate contained some calamari, some toasted bread, a giant cheese stick type dish called a mozzarella fritta, and a couple of slices of Parmesan cheese. I must say that the toasted bread was better than the untoasted bread, and the fried calamari was also quite tasty, particularly when dipped in the marinara sauce. I wish I could have tasted the mozzarella fritta, but that sucker was gone before I could look up.

As far as the main dish, it took a while for me to decide. Originally I was trying to decide between the Lobster Ravioli and the Chicken Parmesan, but I really wasn't in the mood for Chicken Parmesan, and I was kind of worried that the lobster in the Lobster Ravioli would be frozen, and I've seen enough episodes of Kitchen Nightmares to know that frozen lobster is nowhere near the same as fresh lobster. Call me crazy, but that's why I didn't get the ravioli. Instead, I went with a dish called the Penne Rustica. According to the menu, the Penne Rustica is "Succulent shrimp, roasted chicken and aged prosciutto tossed with Parmesan cream sauce and imported penne pasta, then baked until golden." Well, that sounded good enough to me. Other people ordered dishes such as the lobster ravioli, chicken parmasen, grilled prime pork loin, and I think somebody got a New York strip steak, but who the heck knows?

Since our party had 14 people, and the rest of the restaurant was filled with diners, it took a good while to get all of the food served, but not terribly long. I digged in to the Penne Rustica, and there were parts of the dish that were satisfactory, such as the penne pasta and the chicken, which was nicely cooked. The sauce wasn't too bad, and it had a little bit of a tarty kick to it. The shrimp, however, was quite rubbery, and I don't want to accuse anybody of using frozen shrimp, but by golly that shrimp tasted as if it had in the freezer for a while. The waiting staff was quite attentive at first, but once the dishes came, it became nearly impossible to get a refill on a drink or get the tables cleared for desserts.

Overall, even though most of my dining companions seemed to enjoy their dishes a lot, I can't say that I shared their enthusiasm for Romano's Macaroni Grill. It wasn't bad, and if I were asked to dine there again, I wouldn't exactly refuse, but overall I was slightly disappointed, to be honest. Overall, I'll give Romano's a 5.4 out 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for future reviews, or comments about this review, then share them either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Canon Wrestling Review: WCW Monday Nitro: April 17, 2000

This post comes thanks to one of the new features on blogspot, the stats menu. One of things that you can do with the stats feature is find out which search terms led a viewer to your blog. Well, according to the amount of people who have ended up here searching for the Wendy's Triple Baconator, I take it that a lot of people are hungry. Anyway, I saw that some reader ended up on the Canon Review because they searched for WCW Monday Nitro: April 17, 2000. So obviously, somebody wants more information about that particular show, so I figured, why not watch this here episode of Nitro and see how it is. Since it takes place during the Bischoff-Russo era, I have a strong feeling that it will suck, but I've been surprised before.

- It's the night after Spring Stampede 2000, and as such we get a minute and a half of still shots detailing last night's show. A lot of crap happened and Mancow wrestled Jimmy Hart, that's all I remember from that show. Your idiots in the booth tonight are Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, and Mark Madden. A whole bunch of confetti and red balloons drop from the ceiling, and security guards are shown blocking the main entrance in order to block the Millionaire's Club  from entering. Great, take the only people in the company that can draw off the show. Good strategy. Anyway, here comes Russo with his New Blood champions, Chris Candido (Cruiserweight Champion), Buff Bagwell, Shane Douglas (Tag Team Champs), and Scott Steiner (United States Champion). Russo gets on the mic, tells Jim Ross to kiss his ass, than introduces the new World Champion Jeff Jarrett, who also wishes for JR to smooch his backside. Jarrett expresses anger at not being asked to star in Ready To Rumble, which wouldn't make any sense since Jarrett was employed elsewhere at the time the movie was filming, than challenges Diamond Dallas Page to a Triple Cage Match straight out of the movie, which I'm sure everyone has seen at least 25 times, as it's just that great. Anyway, Eric Bischoff comes out with DDP's wife Kimberly, and the two go on to explain why Kimberly bashed her husband in the head with a guitar last night. Apparently, Kim is sick of being in DDP's shadow, and states that she's the real star of the Page family. Russo keeps talking while we cut to the parking lot, where DDP is calmly told that he's not allowed in the building tonight. DDP does not respond kindly to this, knocking out the unarmed security guards and heads to the ring. There's a riot squad around the ring, but they let DDP in without resistance. DDP gets a couple of shots in before the 5-on-1 advantage gets the best of him. Here comes the riot squad, and they start beating up the New Blood with nightsticks. They take off their helmets, and holy moly, it's Ric Flair, Sting, and Lex Luger of the Millionaire's Club! Who saw that coming? I think everyone did. Not the worst way to start, but it took a little too long to get going.

- To the back, where Bischoff chews out a group of New Blood wrestlers for not helping out earlier. Booker T takes exception, and the two exchange words before Booker and the rest leave in a huff. Hulk Hogan calls up Bischoff, and threatens him with a beating in five minutes. Shawn "The Perfect One" Stasiak and Curt Hennig wrestle each other in the first match of the evening. Ms. Hancock is out, for reasons unknown. Hennig hip tosses Stasiak a couple of times, but Stasiak uses punches and two body slams to take advantage. Hennig rolls out, Stasiak gets too close and Hennig pulls him out of the ring. Hennig chops Stasiak and bounces him against the guardrail and the announce table. Hennig sees Mark Madden, and does what any reasonable man would do and throws a cup of water in Madden's face. Unfortunately, the water does not short out Madden's mic, so I still have to hear him talk. Back in, Hennig Cartwheels out of an Irish whip! but Stasiak grounds Hennig with a clothesline. Stasiak uses a suplex to get a 2 count on Hennig, and goes to Irish whip Hennig, but that gets reversed and Stasiak ends up eating a kneelift for his troubles. Hennig with a running clothesline that catches both Stasiak and the referee. Perfectplex from Hennig, but there's no referee. While Hennig gets up to check on the ref, Stasiak digs out some brass knuckles out of his kneepad, and uses them to knock out Hennig. A Perfect Plant (kind of like an F-5, only Stasiak falls forward on his face instead of back) finishes Hennig off, and Stasiak gets the upset victory. Useless match that had no heat and did nothing for anybody. 1 out of 5.

- To the outside, where Hulk Hogan is surrounded by policemen blocking him from the building. Hogan gives the cops a Super Mega Stare, and the cops meekly back down for fear of suffering the wrath of Hulkamania. Apparently, Rockford, Illinois has the wimpiest police force in the United States. Hogan enters the building, seems to wander around as if he doesn't know where the entrance is, and the camera cuts to Stasiak stomping away on Hennig. Hogan, having found the correct way to go finally, comes out, saves Hennig from Stasiak's stomps and throws Stasiak out of the ring, and then we break for commercial.

- Back in the ring, Hogan has a microphone. He goes on about how he hasn't lost a step and is still the top dog and this and that, and challenges anyone in the back that wants to take his spot to come on down and get some. He then starts using his real name while running down Bischoff and Russo, so you know it's a SHOOT~! Hogan, or Terry Bollea as it were, claims that he has more heart than any other wrestler in the back. Well, that's sure to make him some friends. Hogan calls out Kidman, but Kidman shows up on the bigscreen and challenges Hogan to come back to the parking lot for a fight. Hogan rushes out, but he doesn't see Eric Bischoff and the notorious white Hummer. Uh oh.

- Mean Gene is with Jeff Jarrett, who has decided to put an open contract out, and the first New Blood member to sign it gets a shot at his World Title tonight. Hopefully it will be Shannon Moore. Jarrett then concludes the interview by calling Mean Gene a "Jurassic Slapass". Hey, that's my nickname! To the ring, where the Wall is going to wrestle Terry Funk for the WCW Hardcore Title. Yes, Bischoff and Russo's master plan to get the Hardcore Title is to send out The Wall. Funk slams a chair against the Wall's head to begin the match. Wall shrugs it off and throws Funk over the top rope out of the ring. Wall grabs the chair and heads to the outside, but takes a low blow. Funk uses the chair across the Wall's back, and climbs to the top rope. Moonsault press by Funk onto Wall, but that move didn't go quite as planned as Funk nearly lands on his on the outside. Ouch. Wall's up first and delivers a big boot to Funk. The two get on the announce table, and Wall piledrives Funk on the table, but it doesn't give at all and the two just fall off the table. Wall drags Funk around the outside, throwing him against one guardrail and slamming another guardrail against him. Further back, Wall finds a round cage, and uses it to slam the door on Funk's head a couple of times. Wall seems to be in control, until a bunch of tables mysteriously fall on Wall and knock him out. Funk puts a table on the Wall, double foot stomps through it, and gets the three count. A somewhat entertaining spectacle that was ruined by a crappy ending. I'll give it a 1.4 out of 5.

- To the back where Kronick demands a shot at the World Tag Team Titles tonight, but Russo denies them. Meanwhile, somebody signs Jarrett's contract, and when Jarrett sees who it is, he's not happy about it at all. Who is the mystery opponent? I bet it's The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea. Mean Gene is talking with DDP, who promises to gain revenge on Eric Bischoff for stealing his wife and will leave Mike Awesome laying tonight.

- Bob Probert's in the crowd tonight, watching the Mamalukes (Johnny the Bull and Big Vito) come out. In the back, Kronick is beating up the Harris Brothers, who were supposed to wrestle the Mamalukes but now they can't. What a shame, Kronick comes out instead and brawls with the Mamalukes. Full Nelson slam by Adams on Vito. Johnny the Bull does a flat-footed jump from the ring to the top rope, turns around and jumps back down, but eats a Bryan Clark chokeslam for his efforts. An F-5 from Adams onto Vito, and both Mamalukes end up taking Kronick's High Times finisher (double choke slam) before Adams gets the mic. He states that whoever faces them will end up in chronic pain and living a chronic nightmare, and Russo better give them a title shot or he'll find out what a chronic nightmare entails for himself.

- Vampiro comes out and grabs a mic. He says that Sting knows nothing about pain and that last night at Spring Stampede (where he came out from under the ring and dragged Sting down with him to presumably issue a beating) was only the beginning. At Slamboree, Vampiro promises to devour Sting. That starts Sting's music in the lights go out. The lights come back on just as Sting finishes his descent from the ceiling. Sting beats on Vampiro with his bat for a while, giving Vampiro a lesson in pain, as Sting put it. Sting finishes off with the Scorpion Death Drop to leave Vampiro laying in the middle of the ring. Sting proclaims WCW is his turf before leaving once again. Well, that made Vampiro look like a chump, building very little interest in their match at Slamboree since Sting just got his revenge right then.

- Hogan is still looking for Kidman, and asks some kids if they know where he is. Meanwhile, Jarrett moans and groans to Russo about his title match tonight against the mystery opponent. I bet it's Wade Barrett. DDP comes out as a fan holds up his book, Positively Page, which had recently come out around this time. His opponent is Mike Awesome, and the two waste no time as Page connects with a tornado clothesline and starts beating on Awesome in the corner. Irish Whip to the corner, but Awesome is able to springboard off the second turnbuckle with a back elbow, which almost gets a three count. A big splash from Awesome also gets 2. Irish Whip by Awesome, but Page is able to deliver a floatover DDT which also gets a two count. The two exchange clotheslines, and Page catches Awesome with a Uranage slam for a 2 count. Page eats a back elbow and goes to the outside, allowing Awesome to deliver a springboard lariat to the floor. Man, Awesome went a long way on that move. Awesome tries to give Page a standing splash against a guardrail, but Page moves and slams Awesome in the back with a chair. The announcers take this time to commentate about WCW's new lax disqualification rules. Back in. Page charges in with a chair, but Awesome slams his foot into the chair and into Page's face. A forearm to the chair in front of DDP's head sends Page to the outside. Chris Kanyon runs in, which gets a disqualifaction only half a minute after they talked about the new WCW's policy of letting fights go on. Kanyon takes a German suplex for his efforts, and Awesome goes to get a table. Kevin Nash's music hits, and Awesome waits for him to come to the ring. Instead Nash comes out of the crowd and attacks him from behind, before powerbombing Awesome through the table. Match was rushed, but if these two had 10 minutes they might of had a good match. Instead I'll give it a 1.5 out of 5.

- Tank Abbott is here, hopefully to beat up on Mark Madden again. Mean Gene is talking with the Tag Team champs, Shane Douglas and Buff Bagwell. What an odd combination. Bagwell and Douglas talk about their opponents at Slamboree, which are Lex Luger and Ric Flair, respectively. Douglas then calls Luger a jackass and challenges him to a match tonight, which Luger accepts, provided Vince Russo does not interfere. Tank Abbott is coming to the ring, and Mark Madden is throwing a fit for fear of taking another Tank beating. Abbott puts Madden in his place by yelling "Don't even look at me, fat ass". Ha, of all the wrestlers in the world, Tank Abbott is one of them. Tank goes on to explain that once again, until Goldberg comes back to face him, he will beat up another innocent person. This week's victim was to be part owner of the Chicago Blackhawks Bruce MacArthur, but before Tank could get started, Blackhawks' tough guy Bob Probert (perhaps the best fighter in NHL history) leaped over the rail and saved his boss. Security came out to break the two apart before anything could happen. Such a shame, because it would have been interesting to see those two go at it.

- Hogan asks Terry Taylor, who just arrived about 90 minutes into the show, where Kidman is. Taylor leads Hogan in Kidman's direction, and the fight may finally happen soon. Jarrett is informed by Russo that his mystery opponent still wants the match tonight, which greatly displeases Jarrett to the point where he calls Russo J.J. Dillion. Well, obviously that means that Jarrett's opponent will be Ole Anderson. Lex and Shane Douglas are out to have their match. Luger starts by punching Shane, and than spends the next minute or so using kicks, punches, and turnbuckle smashes all over Douglas, making the Franchise look like a jobber. Douglas finally gets a Russian legsweep and chokes Luger with a piece of tape. Irish Whip into the corner by Douglas, he charges, only to eat a boot to the face. Luger with a series of clotheslines, which brings out Buff, Buff comes out with his music and pyro going off during the middle of the match, distracting Luger and allowing Douglas to take advantage. Luger ducks a clotheslines and runs off the ropes, only for Bagwell to grab his foot. Luger drags Bagwell to the apron, but a low blow sends Luger down. While Bagwell preoccupies himself with Luger's manager Miss Elizabeth, Douglas whips Luger into the guardrail, near a fan with a Sting mask. The fan attacks Douglas with a bat, and reveals himself to be Ric Flair. The two go to beat on Shane inside the ring, and the ref calls for the bell. Russo comes out to drag off Douglas, and the three go to the back arguing about something. You know, for a show that is promising the promotion of the young guys, the young guys are sure taking a butt-whooping on this show. This was no different. I'll give it a 0.6 out of 5 and hopefully I'll forget that I ever watched this match.

- Hogan has finally found Kidman, after 1 hour of looking for him. He starts kicking Kidman's butt before Torrie hits him with a 2 x 4. That doesn't faze Hogan, so he grabs Torrie by the throat and backs her up against a post before Kidman makes the save. Kidman gets two punches on Hogan before Hogan just annihilates Kidman, throwing him against the wall and a plastic cart a few times before yelling that he will kill Kidman. Bischoff is seen hiding in the corner while Hogan picks up Kidman and throws him into a dumpster. Hogan sees Bischoff and goes after him. Bischoff goes in the Hummer, but it won't start, so he takes off up the ramp and out of the parking garage. Hogan decides to get in the Hummer and remarkably, it starts right back up. The hell? He then proceeds to ram the dumpster containing Kidman with the Hummer three times, which is probably illegal in most states. Hogan takes off in the Hummer up the ramp, presumably to commit vehicular homicide on Eric Bischoff. God, this is stupid. Kidman is then rescued from the dumpster and put on a stretcher by medical personnel. 

- Jarrett comes out to wrestle the mystery opponent. That man could be none other than Josh Hamilton. Oh wait, it's Scott Steiner, accompanied to the ring by three of his 'freaks', I suppose. The match starts, and Steiner goes to work on Jarrett in the corner. A clothesline and elbow drop follows by Big Poppa Pump, and Steiner then slams Jarrett with a gorilla press drop. After Steiner whips Jarrett into the corner, Jarrett gets the boots up into a charging Steiner, and starts stomping away at his opponent. Cross body block from the top by Jarrett, that gets a two count. He follows up with a dropkick, but Steiner reverses an Irish Whip and then catches Jarrett on his shoulder as Jarrett leaps in an attempt to dodge Steiner. Slam into the corner by Steiner, followed by a choke while Jarrett's in the Tree of Woe. Belly-to-Belly gets two for Steiner, and after the two exchange low blows, Steiner gets the advantage and puts Jarrett in the Steiner Recliner. Out comes Booker T, who scissor kicks Steiner, drawing the DQ and saving Jarrett's title in the process. Booker grabs Jarrett and says, "you're welcome, punk". That makes for the third DQ of the night, when the announcers had been talking all night about how WCW is going to let their wrestlers fight. Match wasn't long enough to mean anything and wasn't all that good anyways. I'll give it a 1.2 out of 5.

- Hogan's in the back with a pipe, he finally finds Bischoff, and Bischoff takes off running all the way to the ring, Hogan backs up Bischoff in the corner and starts threatening him, when Bret Hart comes out with a chair. Hart swings the chair, but the show goes off the air before we see who he blasts with the chair. Hopefully it's both of them.

This show was 31 flavors of suck. The matches didn't go very long, the interviews tended to drag, and their was way too much Hogan walking around cursing backstage. Plus the show did nothing for the New Blood except make them look like chumps, especially Kidman and Vampiro. This was just one bad wrestling show. I'll give it a 1.8 out of 10, and I recommend nobody go back and watch this tripe. Well, thanks for reading, and if you have any ideas for blog posts or reviews, or thoughts about this post, let me know about them either by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com or by leaving a comment.


Kidman & Hulk Hogan Brawl 17.4.00
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Friday, September 17, 2010

Canon Review List-A-Mania: Top Ten Quarterbacks in Atlanta Falcons History

As a long suffering fan of the Atlanta Falcons, I have seen many a quarterback pass through the franchise over the years. Whether they were tall or short, fast or slow, talented or untalented, the one thing that these men have in common is that they played quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, and more than likely they have been a major disappointment at one point or another in their Falcons' careers. Today, the Falcons seem set at the quarterback position with Matt Ryan, but you never know when injury or involvement in a dog-fighting ring will change plans. For now, Ryan is the man, but I was wondering where Ryan would rank amongst Falcons quarterbacks all-time, and just who are the top quarterbacks in Falcons history. So, I've decided to rank the top 10 quarterbacks in Atlanta Falcons history, according to The Canon Review.

10. Wade Wilson (Falcons Career: 1992) - Wilson only played one year and started three games, which tells you all you need to know about the history of Falcons quarterbacks. Seriously though, among quarterbacks with more than 100 passes, Wilson has the highest QB rating in franchise history (110.1). Yes, he started only three games, but in each of those three games, Wilson threw for over 300 yards, and threw for five touchdowns against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Wilson parlayed his success with the Falcons into a starting gig with the New Orelans Saints the next year, with mixed results, and spent the rest of his career as a backup for a variety of teams. But for three weeks in 1992, Wilson played like an All-Pro

9. Brett Favre (1991) - True, Brett only threw four passes for the Atlanta Falcons before partying himself into Jerry Glanville's doghouse and out of Atlanta. But Favre is the only quarterback on this list likely to sniff the Hall of Fame anytime soon, unless space aliens trick the voters into voting in Jeff George. Also, I didn't like any of the other choices, such as David Archer, Joey Harrington, and (not that) Randy Johnson. So Favre makes this list not for what he did in Atlanta, but for what he accomplished after the Falcons traded him for a draft pick that would turn into Tony Smith. If you don't know who Tony Smith is, than you are not alone.


8. Bobby Hebert (1993-1996) - Hebert is more remembered for his play with the New Orleans Saints, but for four years, Hebert played in Atlanta. During his Falcons stint, Hebert was selected for his only Pro Bowl in 1993, and in 1995, Hebert came off the bench after an injury to Jeff George and led the Falcons to victory over the San Francisco 49ers to clinch a playoff berth for the Falcons. Sure, Hebert went only 7-18 as a starter, but at least he had some success with the Falcons.


7. Bob Berry (1968-1972) - Berry went to three Super Bowls, as a backup quarterback for Fran Tarkenton with the Vikings. Before that, Berry was the Atlanta Falcons' first league-average quarterback. Berry was the Falcons' first Pro Bowl quarterback after being named to the game in 1969, although he only played half of the team's games that year. That makes me question the validity of that selection somewhat, even though Berry played well (10 TDs, 2 INTs) when he was in there, but I digress. From 1969-1972, Berry had the 2nd highest quarteback rating (81.6) of any quarterback in the NFL with a minimum of 500 attempts. That's a better rating than guys such as Namath, Tarkenton, Dawson, and Unitas put up during that time period. Not too bad, even if the Falcons had three losing seasons and a 7-7 season in that span.


6. Chris Miller (1987-1993) - Miller is 2nd in franchise history in passing yards, completions, and tied for second in touchdown passes. Miller led the Falcons to the playoffs in 1991, throwing for over 3,000 yards and 26 touchdowns. Miller had an up-and-down career with the Falcons, as he, like every other quarterback on this list excluding one, played for some pretty lousy teams and couldn't lead them over the top. But Miller had his moments, and his five and a half seasons as the Falcons starting QB is the second longest stint in team history.


5. Jeff George (1994-1996) - George had a rocket of an arm and could make any throw on the field provided he had time to throw. Because of that, he seemed to be the ideal quarterback for June Jones' run and shoot offense. George had some success in Atlanta, including throwing for over 4,000 yards in 1995 and leading the Falcons to the playoff (although it was Hebert that clinched the spot in the last game, George did all the work beforehand). Things went well until 1996, when George and coach June Jones got into a public shouting match in a nationally televised game against the Philadelphia Eagles, and that would be all for George in Atlanta, where he became the most hated quarterback in team history until Michael Vick came along. But for a short time, it looked as if the ultra-talented, if hard-headed, George would one day become a star in Atlanta for a long time.


4. Matt Ryan (2008-) - Even after two years, Ryan is easily a top-5 quarterback in franchise history. For one, he's already done something that no other Falcons quarterback could do by leading the team the consecutive winning seasons, and although Sunday's game was a disappointment, chances are good that he will lead the Falcons to a third straight winning season and perhaps another playoff game. The 2008 Offensive Rookie of the Year is 20-11 as a starter for the Falcons, and with a full season could rank amongst the top five all time in yards and touchdown passes in franchise history, which is somewhat sad if you think about it.


3. Michael Vick (2001-2006) - The most dynamic player in Falcons history, and the team's first true superstar. Vick had his share of ups and downs during his career in Atlanta. On one hand, he led the team to two playoff appearances and the 2004 NFC Championship Game, and also provided a boost to the offense with running skills not seen in an NFL quarterback since Randall Cunningham back in the day with the Eagles. In 2006, Vick became the first quarterback in NFL history to run for over 1,000 yards in a season, and the first quarterback to be photographed shooting his fans the bird after walking off the field. His passing skills were often criticized by the media and some of the fans, although in his favor, Vick only had one season where he threw more interceptions than touchdowns (2001), made three Pro Bowls, and went 38-28-1 as a starter. Chances are good that Vick would still be the Falcons' quarterback today if not for his involvement and funding in a dog-fighting ring which you might have heard about. But even so, Vick is still amongst the top quarterbacks in Falcons' history, and I may have actually underrated him by putting Vick at #3.


2. Chris Chandler (1997-2001) - Chandler had two great years and three not so great years with the Falcons, but he ranks number 2 on this list mainly because he was the only quarterback to lead the Falcons to the Super Bowl, which he accomplished during the 1998 season. During that season, Chandler put up a QB Rating of 100.9, threw for 3,154 yards and 25 touchdowns, and went 15-2 as a starter during the regular season and postseason. Chandler played in the Pro Bowl after the 1997 and 1998 seasons, and even though he couldn't repeat his success of '98, Chandler currently ranks third and passing yards and completions and tied for second and touchdowns, and his 87.4 rating is the highest amongst Falcons passers with more than 500 attempts.


1. Steve Bartkowski (1975-1985) - Our choice for top Falcons quarterback is the only man on this list that has had his number retired, and ranks first all time in Falcons' history in completions (1,871), passing yards (23,470), and touchdown passes (141). Bartkowski led the Falcons to three different playoff appearances (1978, 1980, 1982), led the league in touchdown passes in 1980 with 31, and in QB rating in 1983 with a 97.6 mark. The first pick in the 1975 NFL Draft, Bartkowski survived some rough patches early in his career, and in 1980 and 1981, was named to the Pro Bowl. Sure, one day Matt Ryan may take the top spot on this list, but for now, the clear choice for top quarterback in Falcons' history has got to be Bartkowski.

Well, thanks for reading. Remember, if you have any ideas for future reviews, or comments about this or previous reviews, then send them to me either by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com or by leaving a comment on the blog.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Canon Book Review: The Hardcore Diaries

Before I begin, I would like to mention that my new side project, The Western Movie Project, is up and running. We've already had one review on our first movie, Raging Bull, and more are to come in the very near future. So, if you want, check it out and tell us what you think. Now on to today's review, which is Mick Foley's third autobiography, The Hardcore Diaries. In case you are unfamilar with Mr. Foley, he is, or was, a professional wrestler who wrestled under the names Cactus Jack, Mankind, and Dude Love. Foley is a three-time WWE World Champion, and wrote two previous autobiographies, Have a Nice Day and Foley is Good. Both of his previous autobiographies spent a week as the number one bestseller on the New York Times Bestseller List. I have read both of Foley's previous autobiographies, and they are great reads, probably two of the top five books about wrestling that I've ever read. The Hardcore Diaries was released in 2007, and for whatever reason, I just wasn't terribly interested in picking up the third book when it first came out. But eventually I got it real cheap off of amazon.com and, after only four months, I finally cracked it open and finished reading The Hardcore Diaries in about three days. A few thoughts about the book:

- The Hardcore Diaries is based primarily around the buildup and the match that Foley had at One Night Stand, 2006, where he teamed up with Edge and Lita against Tommy Dreamer, Terry Funk, and Beulah McGillicutty. The book is written in diary form and details each step in the storyline, from Mick's pitch to the WWE creative team to the various interviews and promos building up the match to all of the problems Mick had with the creative team constantly changing his ideas and finally concluding with the match itself. When the book begins, Foley is full of hope and vigor, and his writing shows it, as he is very positive and upbeat. As the events progress, doubts begins to creep in and Foley starts to lose hope, and his writing reflects that very much, so the last half of the book is basically Foley wallowing and pity and wondering just where everything went all wrong.

- The main storyline of the book, while interesting on it's own, really is not enough to justify 375 pages worth of material. So in between entries in his diary, Foley sprinkles in tidbits on what he had been up to in the five years since his last book came out, which, apparently, is really not a whole lot. Sure, Foley's been traveling around the world and doing charity work, and that's all well and good, but it's seems as if 1/4 of the book is dedicated to Mick Foley meeting famous people like Reggie Jackson and George Steinbrenner. That's all well and good, but after the 15th or so celebrity encounter it gets kind of tiresome.

- On one hand, Foley is quite willing to criticize the WWE when he disagrees with something they're doing, even the big names like Triple-H and Vince McMahon, which is quite unlike most WWE published biographies (Ric Flair's book might as well have been a 500-page love letter to Vince McMahon, for example. On the other hand, it seemed as if he was only critical of the WWE whenever they disagreed with one of his ideas. If the WWE let Foley do what he wanted, than he was quite complimentary of Vince and company. Maybe that's just human nature. Anyway, I am glad that the WWE did not edit out the most scathing parts of Foley's criticism.

- I must say, Mick Foley is a man that really likes his pornography. Heck, he spends a lot of the book talking about appearing on a radio show hosted by a famous female pornstar and about his relationship with said pornstar. He also devotes a lot of time and energy to detailing his relationship with various 'divas' such as Melina, Candice Michelle, and Trish Stratus. That probably did not go over too well at the Foley household, I'm guessing.

Overall, I would say that a lot of parts about this book, such as Mick detailing the events leading up to One Night Stand, and his description of his 2004 feud with Randy Orton, is entertaining for wrestling fans. Although some readers did not like Foley's constant talk of his charitable contributions or his family, I found those sections to be interesting myself. There is a lot of good stuff to be found in The Hardcore Diaries, to be sure, but I have two main issues with the book. One, the book, being in diary form, is not in any sort of chronological order, so it's hard to follow what exactly Foley is talking about from chapter to chapter since he skips around so much. The other issue is, well, the book's material itself is not particularly memorable. The buildup to Foley's match at One Night Stand was full of rather unremarkable moments (mainly due to the fact that the WWE seemed to have little faith in Funk or Dreamer, but still) and so, what you end up with is a story about an angle which very few people would find remarkable in any way. The match at One Night Stand was rather memorable, and Foley's promo on the show before One Night Stand would rank amongst one of the best of the decade, easily. Other than that, this is a book about a wrestling storyline that isn't exactly Foley's best work, which isn't necessarily his fault. It's a daring idea, but perhaps it would have been better for Foley to just write a third autobiography in chronological order instead of what is basically a 370 page blog.

Perhaps I am being a bit too harsh. After all, this is not exactly a bad book, and a lot of it was quite enjoyable. But overall it seemed to be missing a certain spark, if you will. I'll give The Hardcore Diaries a 6.45 out of 10. Thanks for reading, and if you have any comments about this post or ideas for future posts, than send them this way either by commenting or by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Canon Restaurant Review: Marietta Diner

Earlier today, I was out in the old stomping grounds of the late Big Bossman, Cobb County, GA. Cobb County is a long drive from where I currently reside, so after making that drive, myself and my two compadres (my mother and my sister and Canon Review reader Maggie W.), were getting rather hungry. The first place that we chose to eat at was packed to the gills, so we decided to call an audible and eventually decided to eat at the Marietta Diner. The Marietta Diner is a 24-hour restaurant with a wide variety of items to choose from on the menu, and the outside of the building is made to look like a 50's style diner. The Marietta Diner was once featured on the Food Network, a fact you can't help but notice since there's a big poster of Food Network personality Guy Fieri next to the door. I had dined at the Marietta Diner once before earlier this year, and while my friends around me raved about the place and the wide selection of food, I found the place to be good, but not great. So, I was wondering what the second trip to the Marietta Diner would hold in store for me.

We got there at around 2:00 p.m. and the parking lot was full of cars. Luckily, even though the place was quite busy, we were able to get a booth as soon as we walked in the door. We took a look at the menu, which is about 12 pages long and has text covering nearly square inch of the page. It is safe to say that the Marietta Diner has a wide variety of foods that one can order at any time of the day. So if you wanted a seafood dish at 7 a.m., or some flapjacks at 7 p.m., well this is the place for you. It seemed to take a while before any of the wait staff noticed we were seated, but once our waiter came over we did not have a problem with service for the rest of our time there. We ordered drinks, and since I really needed some caffeine at the time I ordered a coke, and then we ordered our food. I didn't want anything too complicated at this time of the day, so I just ordered a well-done cheeseburger, which came with fries, two onion rings, and some coleslaw. Meanwhile, my mother ordered a Philly Cheese Steak which was covered in peppers, onions, and melted cheese and also came with fries and coleslaw. Maggie, who seems to eat at this place at least once a week since going to school down there, ordered the Shrimp Parmigiana, which basically is a bunch of shrimp served on spaghetti. Her meal also came with a choice of soup (chicken noodle, in Maggie's case) and salad, which Maggie would have no part of, so my mother ended up eating the salad.

I must say that I was happy to see that the Marietta Diner had a television in the corner showing the Falcons game. It wasn't the biggest television, but I could basically tell what was going on. The dining area itself is rather clean, and although it was packed and somewhat loud, it wasn't loud enough where we couldn't carry out a conversation. Actually, the noise level from the last visit of mine to the diner was one of the main turnoffs, as it was so loud that I couldn't hear anything but a constant stream of noise everywhere. That's not necessarily the restaurant's fault, I'm just saying.  Anyway, the waiter, whose name I unfortunately did not catch, was rather attentive to our table, as whenever our glasses even got to half full, or a plate had just been finished, he was there, and he was quite friendly while doing his job as well. A couple of other workers also would drop by from time to time just to see if we needed anything else.

If you ever want to check out the Marietta Diner, I must warn you of one thing. The portions are huge. So this isn't exactly the place to go for some 'light' dining. Maggie got a huge bowl of pasta and shrimp as her dish, which nearly took up half the table. Meanwhile, my cheeseburger was at least 1/2 a pound, and I got such a large piece of lettuce that I could have chopped that sucker up and had a respectable sized salad. Not to mention the mountain of fries on my plate and two huge onion rings that were about the size of 10 onion rings from Burger King. Not bad for a price of $5.50. There was also a deluxe size cheeseburger to choose on the menu, and I shudder to think about the size of the deluxe burger, as I have a feeling it would have been too much for me to handle. Heck, between the size of the meat and all of the cheese on the burger, I was pretty stuffed after finishing it off. As for the quality of the food, well I must say that I had no complaints whatsoever about my burger, the meat was nice and juicy, and cooked to my specifications, while they definitely did not go light on the cheese. The fries were also very good, not too crunchy or too mushy. As for my dining companions, my mother liked, but didn't love, her meal, while Maggie ate all of the shrimp but seemed to be expecting a different kind of pasta, so she wasn't crazy about the spaghetti. Well, live and learn. That did not stop Maggie from ordering a slice of Red Velvet cake to go, and the slice of cake she got filled a whole big-sized to go box. It was about as big as an entire half a regular sized cake at a grocery store bakery, and it would take me at least two or three times eating the cake before finishing the thing. But I've had a bit of this cake before, and let me tell you, the Marietta Diner's desserts are quite, quite good.

Overall, I enjoyed my meal a little more than the last time I was here, and while everything wasn't perfect, I definitely would not be against coming back to this place. I recommend you try out the Marietta Diner if you are in that neck of the woods, but you'd better be hungry, because they certainly do not skimp on the portions. Overall, I'd give the Marietta Diner an 8.1 out of 10. Well, thanks for reading, and if you any ideas for future posts, or thoughts about this post, than either leave a comment on the blog or send them to me at e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com

Marietta Diner on Urbanspoon

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Let's talk about Bam Bam Bigelow

Earlier today, I had a sudden and strange desire to watch Bam Bam Bigelow matches. Why I have that urge is a mystery, but heck, I need something to blog about, so I'm going to watch and review a few Bam Bam Bigelow videos in no particular order. So let's talk about "The Beast from the East", shall we.

Video 1: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Nikolai Volkoff, WWF Superstars, Aired September 12, 1987

Before the match, Volkoff gets the crowd fired up by singing the Russian National Anthem. Bigelow is accompanied to the ring by his manager Oliver Humperdink. Volkoff tries to jump Bigelow early, but Bigelow instead gets the advantage, and eventually knocks Volkoff out of the ring with a right hand. Bigelow than does a cartwheel to celebrate. The rest of the match pretty much goes like this, Volkoff tries to brawl with Bigelow, but then Bigelow turns it around using kicks, punches, headbutts, a standing dropkick, and a shoulder block. Even when Volkoff tries to use cheap tactics such as eye gouges, Bigelow shrugs it off and goes back to punishing Volkoff. The finish comes when Bigelow ducks a clothesline with a somersault, and then catches Volkoff with a flying headbutt to get the pinfall. Mostly a one-sided match, full of brawling tactics, but the match lacked any sort of intensity and was just filler. I'll give it a 1.5 out of 5.


Bam Bam Bigelow vs Nikolai Volkoff
Uploaded by CrossFaceChickenWing. - Basketball, baseball, pro wrestling and more sports videos.

Video 2: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Goldberg, SuperBrawl 99

Bam Bam comes out to no entrance music, Goldberg comes out without the security guards for once. A staredown and some jabber-jawing starts the match. Bigelow knocks Goldberg down with a shoulder block, which Goldberg gets right back up from, picks up Bigelow and slams him down to the mat. Goldberg continues to dominate Bigelow with a flying shoulderblock, and an unnecessary fireman's carry slam into cross arm-breaker.  Man, you've got to love Goldberg's random moves to prove he is some sort of technical wizard, as usually he either does a weak rolling leg bar or some random combination of moves like this that really do not link together. Anyway, Bigelow is in such shock that he has to go to the outside. Goldberg gets too close, and Bigelow trips him up and starts working on his leg with some elbow drops. Bigelow continues working on the leg inside the ring with various stomps and leg holds. When he tires of that, Bigelow delivers a couple of diving headbutts on a downed Goldberg. Out of a chinlock, Goldberg stands up and back suplexs Bam Bam, but Bigelow gets up first and slams Goldberg down. To the top, and Bigelow connects with a diving headbutt, which gets two. Bigelow goes to climb the ropes again, but is thrown down by Goldberg. Spear attempt, but Bigelow moves and pounds on Goldberg some. An Irish Whip by Bigelow is reversed, and Goldberg spears Bigelow down. He goes to set up for the Jackhammer, but for some reason decides to give Bigelow a standing side kick and another spear, before finally Jackhammering Bigelow down to the mat to get the three count. Not a bad match, although there were a couple of awkward moments between the two. I'll give it a 2.27 out of 5.


Goldberg vs Bam Bam Bigelow
Uploaded by leberlous. - Discover the latest sports and extreme videos.

Video 3: Goldberg vs. Bam Bam Bigelow, WCW Monday Nitro, November 16, 1998

Okay, this is not really a match, but it would of been had Bam Bam not attacked Goldberg while he was making his entrance. Instead all that happens is a minute of brawling which the announcers yell themselves hoarse over, before the crack WCW security team comes to break it up, and the show ends. A million billion points out of 5.


Goldberg vs Bam Bam Bigelow
Uploaded by smithjoe. - Basketball, baseball, pro wrestling and more sports videos.

Video 4:Bam Bam UWF Interview

This clip is only 11 seconds long, but Bigelow shows off a great vocabulary on the mic, rhyming two words with mobility. Which words, you ask? Well watch the video to find out.

 

Video 5: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Spike Dudley, ECW As Good as it Gets, 9/20/97

A slight mismatch in size, as Bigelow weighs about three times as much as Dudley. Bigelow wastes no time by press slamming Spike at the start of the match. He then continues to dominate his smaller opponent before Spike counters an overhead lift with a high dropkick in which Spike nearly landed on his head. Spike delivers a jumping DDT, and then a top-rope clothesline gets a two count. Spike is undaunted, and dropkicks Bigelow, forcing Bam Bam out of the ring and through the ringkeeper's table. Spike gets a chair and slams Bigelow in the back, before climbing the rope and delivering a diving chair shot to the head, which almost got the victory for Spike. Spike goes for another top rope chairshot, but misses, and that's when the tables turn, as Bigelow suplexes Spike onto the chair. Bigelow then picks up Spike, and gorilla presses him into the crowd! The crowd then carries Spike around the crowd, as Spike is involuntarily surfing the crowd as if in the mosh pit before security stops him. Bam Bam goes out and gets Spike, rolls him back in, and body splashes the much smaller Spike from the top rope and getting the victory. Post-match, the crowd chants for Bigelow to throw Spike back into the crowd, and Bigelow delivers, as Spike goes for another ride into the crowd. Interesting match, I'm willing to bet you won't see another wrestler thrown into the crowd, but that's ECW for you. As for the match, I'd give it a 2.4 out of 5.


Spike Dudley vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Uploaded by Stinger1981. - Discover the latest sports and extreme videos.

Well, I think I'll end it here. Thanks for reading, and if you have any thoughts about this post or Bam Bam Bigelow, or you have an idea or two for a future post, than send them this way either by leaving a comment on the blog or by e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com

Friday, September 10, 2010

Did Ray Lewis just destroy Saturn? and other Sports Commercials

Earlier tonight, I was watching the Vikings and Saints play in the first game of the NFL season when I saw a most peculiar commercial. In it, Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis comes out of the shower covered in foam talking about how tough it is to play football and how awesome Old Spice is, while at the same time tossing a saddle onto a giant raven outside the window. Yes, you heard me, a giant Raven. He then hops out the window and jumps on the raven, which has plastic eyes, and the two fly up into space, as the raven is apparently powered by rockets. The raven then shoots a laser and blows up Saturn. I don't know if that's the worst commercial I've ever seen or the best, but it really captured my attention. I don't know what a raven ridden by Ray Lewis has to do with bodywash, but it works for me. Check it out for yourself:



With that in mind, here are some other commercials featuring sports stars.

Commercial 1: Magic Johnson for Kentucky Fried Chicken

On some basketball court, Magic Johnson has a bucket of Hot n' Spicy chicken when these two other basketball players, who look to be no older than 23, come up to Magic and want some chicken. Magic's all like, 'this chicken is too hot to handle' and to prove his point, he breathes fire like a dragon. That fire launches a basketball off the rack and off of the backboard into the net. For some reason, the ball causes an explosion when it goes into the net, and the commercial ends with Magic Johnson saying; "They don't call me Magic for nothing". Never mind Magic Johnson using a double negative there, but I don't think I would want a bucket of chicken that caused me to shoot out a long line of flames from my mouth, because who knows what something that strong will come out as on the other side. That commercial makes me want to stay away from KFC, more so than usual.



Commercial 2: Bret Hart for Pizza Pizza

This isn't the whole commercial, but it's enough to write about. Bret Hart's at a pizza place when the guy behind the counter says he'll throw in a second pizza for a toonie, which in Canada is a 2 dollar coin. Suddenly Bret yells; "yeah I WANT TO CRACK THE CARDBOARD!" Um, what the heck does that mean? Also, what does it have to do with getting a second pizza? I'm greatly confused. Anyway, the video ends with Bret telling us to "crack the cardboard" and come to Pizza Pizza, finishing with "Tell 'em the Hitman sent you". I wonder how they would react at a Pizza Pizza if I went in there and told them that the Hitman sent me. However, since the closest Pizza Pizza to me is Ontario, I doubt I'll be making it up there soon.  I guess I'll just have to crack the cardboard in spirit instead.



Commercial 3: Cecil and Prince Fielder for McDonalds

Oh how things were so much simpler back in 1992. In this ad, Cecil Fielder, then the most powerful hitter in baseball, and his son Prince, a future big-leaguer himself, are playing a backyard game of baseball, which for some reason is being announced. The announcer starts by saying, "Cecil Fielder's at the plate, he looks hungry". Well, he always looks hungry. Anyway, the ad goes on to advertise various cheeseburgers, including a triple for a $1.69. Hey, that's a good deal. Prince ends up striking his old man out, although to be fair Cecil was using what looked to be a plastic bat, and the two then go off to McDonalds, but not before Prince apologizes for striking out Cecil. This commercial is so odd today considering that Prince, now the first baseman for the Milwaukee Brewers, does not eat meat anymore (even though he's still as big as he was when he ate meat, and if you've ever seen Prince you know how big he is). Also, Prince has not talked to his father in years due to a spat over money. Here's a look at the Fielders in somewhat happier times.



Commercial 4: Deion Sanders Nike Commercial

This ad is from 1996, and for some reason features Jerry Stiller dressed up as Vince Lombardi. The commercial shows highlights of Deion making playing and celebrating said plays while Stiller justifies Deion's flamboyant celebrations. At the end, Stiller does a little dance in the style of Deion. I guess at the time it seemed like a good idea. Maybe Deion needs to crack the cardboard as well, as that would be more entertaining than this was.



Well, I think I'm going to call it a day. Thanks for reading, and if you have any thoughts about this post, or ideas for future posts, than feel free to share them either by leaving a comment on the blog or by sending me an e-mail at kthec2001@gmail.com.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Canon Review 2010 NFL Preview

Tomorrow marks the start of another NFL season. Which more than likely means that Sundays in the near future will not be full of activity at The Canon Review. But I digress. The 2010 NFL season may be the last NFL season you will ever see, or at least the last season you see with a 16 game schedule. With the CBA expiring next year and the players union and the owners at odds with each other, it's possible that the 2011 season may be delayed. Also, NFL Commissioner Roger Goddell is making a hard push for an 18 game schedule, and so far during his career, whatever Goddell wants, Goddell gets. So this more than likely be the last season of the NFL as you know it. So the question is, who's going to win the Super Bowl? For that and more, read on.

Season Predictions: (* = Wild Card)

AFC East:
1. New England Patriots
2. Miami Dolphins*
3. New York Jets
4. Buffalo Bills

Everybody seems to be high on the Jets' chances, but if you recall, the Patriots actually won this division last year. Tom Brady is now two years removed from his reconstructive knee surgery, and he should be more mobile than he was last year. Wes Welker is coming off a major knee injury himself, but Brady still has a lot of quality targets to throw to such as WRs Randy Moss and Julian Edelmen. Defensively, the secondary is a little young and the defensive line will miss Ty Warren, who will miss the 2010 season due to injury. However, Brandon Spikes will team up with Jerod Mayo to give the Patriots two top inside linebackers, and Bill Belicheck is still among the best defensive coaches in the game, so he should have the Patriots defense ready to play. The Dolphins have a superior running game led by RBs Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams, and WR Brandon Marshall gives emerging QB Chad Henne an elite receiver to throw to. Defensively, the Dolphins will need someone, whether it is rookie DE Jerrid Odrick or OLB Cameron Wake or somebody else to provide a pass rush, but the Dolphins did sign this year's top defensive free agent in ILB Carlos Dansby. I look for Marshall and Dansby to help lead the Dolphins to a wild-card spot. The Jets will be stout on defense, led by All-pro CB Darrelle Revis, but I don't like their offense very much. For all the hype around him, QB Mark Sanchez did not play that well last year, and he will be without his top receiver Santonio Holmes for the first four games of the season. Also, it remains to be seen if RB Shonn Greene can handle the load of being the team's number one running back. The Bills have three good running backs in rookie C.J. Spiller, Marshawn Lynch, and Fred Jackson. The problem is, the Bills forgot to build a decent offensive line to block for them, and their quarterback situation is still a mess. Defensively, the Bills have some decent players, but rushing the quarterback will be a problem. The Bills will contend for the top pick in the 2011 NFL Draft.

AFC North
1. Baltimore Ravens
2. Pittsburgh Steelers*
3. Cincinnati Bengals
4. Cleveland Browns

The Baltimore Ravens have a loaded squad this year. With the addition of Anquan Boldin, the Ravens have finally added an elite receiver to team up with WR Derrick Mason. Added to that is a strong running game led by all-purpose threat Ray Rice and a solid offensive line. If QB Joe Flacco continues his improvement, the Ravens may very well be the team to beat in 2010. The Steelers will be without star QB Ben Roethlisberger for the first four games of the season, but their strong defense gets back S Troy Polamalu and DE Aaron Smith back from injury, so the Steelers should be able to hold the fort until Roethlisberger gets back. I expect the Steelers to continue to be one of the toughest teams to play in the NFL. The Bengals won the division last year, and added big-name WR Terrell Owens. But Owens and WR Chad Ochocinco has clearly lost a step, and the Bengals were huge beneficiaries of a light schedule last year, so even though they have a talented defense led by LB Ray Maualuga, expect the Bengals to take a step back this year. The Browns, quite frankly, do not have enough talent to be a threat in the AFC North, although RB Jerome Harrison could become one of the top backs in the NFL running behind a talented offensive line.

AFC South
1. Indianapolis Colts
2. Tennessee Titans
3. Jacksonville Jaguars
4. Houston Texans

Another season with Peyton Manning as the Indianapolis quarterback should, and will mean another division title for the Colts. Yes, they are a little beat up along the offensive line, but Manning and co. should keep on trucking, and the talented defense gets back S Bob Sanders from injury, although it remains to be seen just how long Sanders will remain healthy. The Titans ended the season on an 8-2 run, and RB Chris Johnson ran for over 2,000 yards last season. If I felt better about the Titans' defense, I would have picked them to grab a wild card spot, but I feel that there are too many holes, particularly in the front seven. The Jaguars always play hard and have talented players, such as RB Maurice Jones-Drew and CB Rashean Mathis on both sides of the ball, but the Jags have got to find some way to rush the quarterback. Maybe free agent DE Aaron Kampman will give the team a boost in that area. There are some people that feel that this might be the Texans' year to make their first appearance in the postseason, and QB Matt Schaub and WR Andre Johnson are two big reasons why, as both are superb players. However, as I look at their defense, I wonder just how they expect to stop anybody, especially with OLB Brian Cushing missing the first four games due to suspension. Expect the Texans to be on the wrong end of a lot of high-scoring shootouts.

AFC West
1. San Diego Chargers
2. Denver Broncos
3. Oakland Raiders
4. Kansas City Chiefs

The Chargers are probably the only halfway-decent team in this division. They have a great passing game led by QB Philip Rivers, and rookie RB Ryan Mathews should provide a boost to the running game. Defensively, they have a few issues, but less issues than any other team in this division. Denver will definitely miss OLB Elvis Dumerveil as he misses the season due to injury, and they failed to replace WR Brandon Marshall adequately, so unless journeymen WRs Jabar Gaffney and Brandon Lloyd suddenly improve, Denver could struggle to score some points. On defense, their secondary is talented but older than dirt, and the Broncos' front seven is a little light on talent. The Raiders are picked by some experts to be a surprise team this year, and QB Jason Campbell is a definite improvement over JaMarcus Russell. But Campbell has no one to throw to except for TE Zach Miller. Defensively, CB Nnamdi Asomugha is a world-class player, and rookie LB Ronaldo McLain will help this defense, although it's still just an average group at best. The Chiefs have a strong running attack with RBs Thomas Jones and Jamaal Charles, but I still have my doubts about QB Matt Cassel and head coach Todd Haley, and their defense, even with star rookie S Eric Berry, still looks as if it's going to suck.

NFC East
1. Dallas Cowboys
2. New York Giants
3. Washington Redskins
4. Philadelphia Eagles

Originally, I had the Cowboys as my NFC representative for the Super Bowl, but after taking a closer look at their roster, I had to adjust my choice. Nevertheless, the defending division champs should be strong again this year, as QB Tony Romo has a whole bunch of weapons in his arsenal, and if the offensive line holds up, Romo could have another big year. Defensively, OLB DeMarcus Ware is one of the best players in the game, and OLB Anthony Spencer may be the breakout star of 2010. The Giants have a solid offense led by QB Eli Manning and WR Steve Smith, but their offensive line has seemingly aged ten years over the last year. The Giants' defense fell apart last year, and other than DE Justin Tuck, their defense lacks impact players. The Redskins made a big splash in hiring coach Mike Shanahan and trading for QB Donovan McNabb, and all that will get this mediocre squad is an 8-8 finish. The Eagles traded McNabb and are relying on Kevin Kolb to carry the load, but I have my doubts about whether he can or not. It would help if their offensive and defensive lines were a little more talented.

NFC North
1. Green Bay Packers
2. Minnesota Vikings*
3. Chicago Bears
4. Detriot Lions

The Packers are loaded on offense, as QB Aaron Rodgers has a lot of talented players such as WRs Greg Jennings and Donald Driver and TE JerMichael Finley to spread the ball around to. Defensively, the team has had another year to adjust to coordinator Dom Capers' 3-4 scheme, and NT B.J. Raji and OLB Clay Matthews are two talented players who should improve in their second year in the league. The Vikings have QB Brett Favre back for another season, but health issues have left his receiving corps mighty thin, but the Vikings are still a top defensive team and Favre has elite RB Adrian Peterson behind him to carry the offensive load. The Bears, in my mind, could go either way. On one hand, the defense has added DE Julius Peppers and gets ILB Brian Urlacher back from injury. On the other hand, the defense was awful last year and the offense, particularly QB Jay Cutler, was inconsistent at best. If new offensive coordinator Mike Martz can help Cutler harness his talent, and a wideout on the Bears steps up, they could be a strong team. I just don't see it though. The Lions have some talented players in WR Calvin Johnson and DT Ndamukong Suh, and are headed in the right direction, but they are probably a year away from becoming a contender.

NFC South
1. Atlanta Falcons
2. New Orleans Saints*
3. Carolina Panthers
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

The Falcons finished 9-7 last year despite the injuries of a lot of key players. Now, those players, such as RB Michael Turner, are back, and CB Dunta Robinson and rookie OLB Sean Witherspoon should help the defense. If DE John Abraham can return to his 2008 form, the Falcons could have a top defense to go with a high powered offense led by QB Matt Ryan and WR Roddy White. The Saints are looking to repeat as Super Bowl champions, but their defense has a few holes in it and will miss veteran S Darren Sharper as he recovers from injury. Their offense, led by QB Drew Brees, should be as potent as last year, and the Saints may not repeat as champs, but they will be in the postseason. The Panthers lost DE Julius Peppers to free agency and are breaking in a new quarterback in Matt Moore. The youngest team in the NFL has a solid running game with backs DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart, but the team en masse might be too inexperienced to compete this year. The Buccaneers are still in rebuilding mode, and while the recent trend in the NFC South is for last year's worst team to finish first the next year, the Bucs simply don't have the team to perform that feat this year.

NFC West
1. Arizona Cardinals
2. San Francisco 49ers
3. St. Louis Rams
4. Seattle Seahawks

This division could very well feature four of the worst ten teams in the NFL. Arizona has issues at QB now that Kurt Warner has retired and the team waived what was to be his replacement in Matt Leinart. San Francisco also has issues at quarterback, as Alex Smith has yet to prove he can be at least an average quarterback. The Rams have RB Steven Jackson and some decent young players, but they're still a year away. The Seahawks are blowing up the team, and don't expect Pete Carroll's bunch to compete this year. Ultimately, I went with Arizona because they have the best coach in the division in Ken Whisenhunt, the best player in Larry Fitzgerald, and enough talented players on both sides of the ball so that new QB Derek Anderson won't have to carry the whole load. Don't be surprised if the team that wins this division finishes with a losing record, as that's how bad the NFC West is this year.

AFC Championship Game: Ravens over Colts
NFC Championship Game: Packers over Falcons
Super Bowl: Ravens over Packers

In the AFC, I look for a playoff rematch, as the Ravens and Colts look to be the two best teams in the conferences. This time, the Ravens will be the victor, as their offseason improvements to the offense will give them the edge, provided that S Ed Reed is back and healthy by then, which I'm saying he will be. In the NFC, the Falcons are hungry and talented enough to make a Super Bowl run, but the Packers seem to have the most talented team in the conference and perhaps the league, and QB Aaron Rodgers will cement his status as one of the NFL's elite quarterbacks this year. In the Super Bowl, look for the Ravens, with their fearsome defense and potent offense, to win it all in Dallas.

NFL MVP:
1. QB Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay Packers
2. QB Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts
3. QB Tom Brady, New England Patriots
Dark Horse: QB Matt Ryan, Atlanta Falcons


It's a quarterback's league these days, as seven of the past nine years have seen a quarterback take the MVP award. Peyton Manning has four of them himself, and is a perennial contender for the award. Tom Brady also is a former MVP winner who still looks as if he's in the prime of his career. It would also be a mistake to discount the New Orelans Saints' QB Drew Brees, and if the Falcons have a big year, Matt Ryan might get some MVP votes his way. But, as I stated before, I think Rodgers will become an elite quarterback this year, so much so that he will be this year's most valuable player.

NFL Most Outstanding Offensive Player
1. Adrian Peterson, RB, Minnesota Vikings
2. Aaron Rodgers
3. Chris Johnson, RB, Tennessee Titans
Dark Horse: Larry Fitzgerald, WR, Arizona Cardinals

Yes, there is a difference between the MVP and the Most Outstanding Offensive Player, after all, Johnson was last year's recipient, and looks to be a favorite this year. All of the quarterbacks mentioned as MVP candidates will be contenders for this award as well, and Larry Fitzgerald may have to prove that he's the best receiver in football in order to keep the Cardinals afloat. However, I'm going to go with Peterson. Last year, Peterson took a back seat to Brett Favre, but with the injuries to the Vikings' receiving corps and Favre's health in question, the Vikings will have to turn to Peterson to carry the load, and Adrian Peterson has proven in the past that he's more than capable. Don't be surprised if Peterson turns in a 1,800 yard plus season with over 15 touchdowns.

NFL Most Outstanding Defensive Player
1. DeMarcus Ware, OLB, Dallas Cowboys
2.Troy Polamalu, S, Pittsburgh Steelers
3. Patrick Willis, ILB, San Francisco 49ers
Dark Horse: Darrelle Revis, CB, New York Jets

Willis is a tackling machine who gets lost in the shuffle because he plays for a poor team. But make no mistake, he's a star. Revis and Polamalu are impact players in the defensive backfield for their respective teams. Revis is able to lock up any receiver, even stars like the Patriots' Randy Moss, while Polamalu does a little bit of everything for the Steelers. Ware is the best pass rusher in the game, with a 20-sack season already on the resume. It wouldn't surprise me if he had another 20 sack season this year.

NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year
1. Ryan Matthews, RB, San Diego Chargers
2. Jahvid Best, RB, Detroit Lions
3. Sam Bradford, QB, St. Louis Rams
Dark Horse: Dez Bryant, WR, Dallas Cowboys

Matthews has been promised 250 carries by San Diego coach Norv Turner, and Matthews has the skill to make those carries go for a lot of yardage. Don't be surprised if Matthews puts up 1,200 yards this season. Best is a speedy back who should get plenty of opportunities in Detroit, while Bradford is a talented quarterback who might take a beating in St. Louis, but should put up at least a decent season. Bryant is a talented wideout who may replace the underachieving Roy Williams in the lineup early in the season, as he's too much of an impact player to keep on the bench for long.

NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year
1. Ndamukong Suh, DT, Detroit Lions
2. Eric Berry, S, Kansas City Chiefs
3. Rolando McClain, ILB, Oakland Raiders
Dark Horse: Derrick Morgan, DE, Tennessee Titans

Suh might be the best defensive tackle prospect to enter the league since Warren Sapp entered in 1995. He's big, bad, quick, and should make an immediate impact on the Lions' defense. Berry is a defensive playmaker who could become the next Troy Polamalu, without all of the hair. McClain was the leader of last year's Alabama Crimson Tide defense, who won the national title, and steps right into the Raiders lineup from day one. Morgan has been nicked up with injuries, but the All-American from Georgia Tech is one of the quickest linemen in the league, and if he's able to get on the field and learn the Titans' scheme, he could make a huge impact right away.

Coach Most Likely to lose his Job
1. John Fox, Panthers
2. Lovie Smith, Bears
3. Jack Del Rio, Jaguars
Dark Horse: Andy Reid, Eagles


For whatever reason, Fox and the Panthers seem to be at an impasse, as Fox is in the last year of his contract and the Panthers have shown little interest in bringing him back next year. Unless the Panthers have a huge year this season, I expect Fox to leave one way or another, and he'll probably find a new coaching job not long after leaving Carolina. Smith has led the Bears to a Super Bowl in 2006, but the Bears have done little since then and patience is running thin. Del Rio will begin his eighth season as the Jaguars' head coach, but interest in the team is at an all-time low, and the Jaguars have had losing seasons the last two years, so a third one could mean curtains for Del Rio. The Eagles made a huge change by trading Donovan McNabb, and they may be looking to make another change if they have a disappointing year. Patience is running thin amongst the Eagles' fan base with Andy Reid, and if the Eagles struggle early, the calls for his head could be defining in Philadelphia.

Well, that's the 2010 Canon Review Football Preview. Hopefully I'll get a few things right. If you have any thoughts about the upcoming NFL season, or want to submit an idea for a future review, than feel free to do so either by leaving a comment or by sending me an e-mail at KtheC2001@gmail.com.